www.marsvenuscoaching.com men are from mars, women are from venus …even when dealing with stress
Post on 18-Dec-2015
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TRANSCRIPT
www.marsvenuscoaching.com
Men Are From Mars,
Women Are From Venus
…Even when dealing with Stress.
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JOHN GRAY VIDEO
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Why are we so stressed out?
Life is out of hand
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Unrealistic Expectations
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SUPERWOMAN
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Unrealistic Expectations
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2X the Burdens of Our Mothers
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The Never-Ending To-Do List
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Lack of Appropriate Male Support
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Causes…
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Causes Elevated Stress Hormones
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What is Cortisol?
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Weakens Immune System
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Shuts-off Digestion
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Our Greatest Challenge
1. Men and women cope with stress differently
2. Our differences are intensified by stress
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Mars & Venus To Collide
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Complaints from Venus
I have to juggle so many things, and he doesn’t seem to care or even want to help.
Complaints from Mars
When I offer to help, she always finds something wrong in my suggestions. Why bother?
Why Mars and Venus Collide
We both go to work. When we get home, why doesn’t he pitch in and help more?
She always finds something new to complain about.
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Complaints from Venus
He sits in front of the TV while I do everything. I am not his personal maid.
Complaints from Mars
She wants everything done right now. Why can’t she just relax?
Why Mars and Venus Collide
We never have time for romance anymore. He is either working, watching TV, gone, or sleeping.
When I am in the mood, she is either too tired or overwhelmed with too many other things.
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Physiological Differences
Gender differences in the brain's serotonin system
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Response differences
In men, stress increased blood flow to the left orbitofrontal cortex suggested activation of the "fight or flight" response.
In women, stress activated the limbic system, which is associated with emotional responses.
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Single-Focus versus Multi-Task
The part of the brain that produces cross-talk between the hemispheres is…
25% smaller in Men.
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Single-Focus versus Multi-Task
Man’s brain is highly specialized, using a specific part of a single-hemisphere to accomplish a task.
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Men get annoyed when a woman interrupts them
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Women get more stressed out when a man tries to narrow
down her focus.
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Our relationships can be a source of:
stress or
comfort
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The Rub
The Different Ways The Genders Cope With Stress Can Actually Increase Stress In The Opposite Sex.
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Radically Different Coping Mechanisms
to StressMen…
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Male Response
or
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Women…
Radically Different Responses to Stress
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What Helps Reduce Stress?
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Testosterone
Peaks in the morning
Depleted throughout the day
Needs time to recover
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Stimulate Testosterone
Success or the anticipation of success in the relationshipForgetting the problem even momentarilyEngaging in less challenging activity
Watching TVReadingTaking a nap
Going into his cave
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Leaving a man alone is sometimes the best way to support him.
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Oxytocin – The love and nurturing
hormoneReduces blood pressure, cortisol levels and fear
Creates a feeling of attachment
Increases maternal behavior and sexual interest
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Oxytocin
Decreases when feeling…• Alone • Ignored• Unsupported• Unimportant• Rushed• Overwhelmed
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Oxytocin
Testosterone generating activities at work reduce woman’s Oxytocin levels…
Comes home without abundance of Oxytocin.
Returning home after work causes most women’s stress to INCREASE.
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Overwhelming
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Oxytocin
Increases with trust and anticipation of needs being met…including a simple hug, conversation and show of support.
Increases when helping, caring, sharing or befriending without expectations.
Increases when nurturing self
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A woman’s greatest challenge
• caring for herself as much as she is caring for others.
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One Solution…
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Men Need To Feel Needed and Women Need To Feel They Are Not Alone.
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Normal StuffManage your time
Exercise regularly
Get adequate sleep
Eat a healthy diet
Be assertive
Live in the now
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Filling-up the Oxytocin Tank
Yourself (90%)
Do something nice for yourself and othersPlan special occasionAsk for helpSchedule a walk & talkGrow/make somethingCreate a “Have Done” listReach out to friendsHire a coach
By Him (10%)
Hug her 4x a dayLeave her a noteTake her on a dateGive her a flowerNotice herListen to herCompliment herGive her a spa dayHelp her without being asked
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Mars Venus Reach out to people …talk
Allow the to-do list to end… at least for the day
Recognize the differences You NEED to connect, be heard He NEEDS to escape or feel needed
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www.marsvenuscoaching.com