Write Paragraph

A. Effective paragraphsWhen we start to write, we must pay attention to three elements: unity, coherence and transition.

ParagraphsA paragraph is a unit of thought; it is at once a unit in itself and part of a larger whole, that is, the essay. A paragraph is like a mini-essay; it should be unified, coherent and well developed. A paragraph is unified when all the sentences in the paragraph are focused on one central thought or on a single topic; when the writer wishes to introduce a new thought or topic, he should begin a new paragraph.

A. UnityUnity of a paragraph is concerned with its content. If all the sentences in the paragraph lead to one central theme, the paragraph is unified. The central theme is usually summarized in what is called the topic sentence. It often appears at the beginning of the paragraph, it may also be found in the middle or at the end of a paragraph.

Let’s have a look at the following examples (pages 82-83).

One of the central preoccupations of the arts and humanities is the observation of human beings. Painters and sculptors create images of the human form; writers tell stories or compose poems about human experience; musical artists give melodic contours to the human spirit; historians and philosophers ponder the essential qualities of human civilization and nature. And in our own lives, in our own ways, we spend a great deal of our energy and attention on our fellow creatures, being in families and other kinds of relationships, observing people with curiosity and interest in the course of the day, thinking about and forming our own character—

deciding what kind of person we wish to be—as we grow.

--Don Knefel

We now have, as a result of modern means of communication, hundreds of thousands of words flung at us daily. We are constantly being talked at, by teachers, preachers, salesmen, public officials, and motion-picture sound tracks. The cries of advertisers pursue us into our very homes, thanks to the radio—and in some houses the radio is never turned off from morning to night. Daily the newsboy brings us, in large cities, from thirty to fifty enormous pages of print, and almost three times that amount on Sunday. We go out and get more words at bookstores and libraries. Words fill our lives.

In the first paragraph the first sentence is the topic sentence, whereas in the second paragraph, it is the last sentence.

Sometimes, the topic sentence is not stated explicitly but is implied. In the following paragraph, all the details contribute to one theme—what the room looks like. Though without a topic sentence, the paragraph is unified.

The room is located on the fifth floor of the high building. One third of its total floor space is taken up by a double bed. Facing it, in the corner behind the door, stands a cupboard loaded with pots, bowls, dishes, bottles, and bags of rice and flour. A desk completely fills the gap between the bed and the wall with the window. Behind the desk is a chair, the only one in the room; and it almost touches the boxes and trunks piled against the wall on the opposite side.

CheatingCheating has always been a part of life, and it will be so in the future. An obvious situation is that students have many ways of cheating in school. This habit can continue after school is over and become part of their daily lives. There are steps that can be taken to prevent cheating, but many teachers do not seem to care. Maybe they are so burned out by their jobs that they do not want to bother. The honest student is often the one hurt by the cheating of others. Cheating at work occurs also. This cheating may be more dangerous, because employers watch out for it more. Businesses have had to close down because cheating by employees took away a good deal of their profits. A news story recently concerned a writer who was fired for taking a steak home from the restaurant where he worked, but his taking the steak may have been justified. Cheating in the sense of being unfaithful to a loved one is a different story because emotions are involved. People will probably never stop cheating unless there is a heavy penalty to be paid.

This paragraph does not begin by making a definite point. Instead, we get two broad, obvious statements—that cheating “has always been a part of life” and “will be so in the future.” Because the author has not focused in on a clear, single point, what happens in this paragraph is not surprising. The line of thought in the paragraph on cheating serves about like a car without a steering wheel.

In the second sentence, we read that “… students have many ways of cheating in school,” and we think for a moment that this will be the author’s point: he or she will give us supporting details about different ways students cheat in school. But the next sentence makes another point: that after school is over, students may continue to cheat as “part of their daily lives.” We therefore expect the author to give us details backing up the idea that students who cheat continue to cheat after they leave or finish school.

However, the next sentence makes two additional points: “There are steps that can be taken to prevent cheating, but many teachers do not seem to care.” These are two more ideas that could be—but are not –the focus of the paragraph. By now we are not too surprised at what happens in the following sentences. Several more points are made;”

The honest student is often the one hurt by the cheating of others.” Cheating at work “may be more dangerous,” an employee who stole a steak “may have been justified.” And cheating by being unfaithful is different “because emotions are involved.” No single idea is developed; the result is confusion.

Exercises: Pp.126-128In a well-written paragraph of detail and example, all the facts support the topic sentence. Pick out the irrelevant material in the following so as to make the passage unified.(1) The topic sentence: I’m fascinated by my grandmother.

Supporting evidence:A. My grandmother is about 90 this year.B. She was born into a well-to-do urban family.C. She seems never to require the services of a doctor.D. She has an abiding interest in collecting postcards.E. She does not have much sense of humor.F. She believes in everything: festivals, news, TV ads, success, and all the gods.G. She likes to eat fruit.H. She hates dogs.I. She likes the color of a strawberry.J. She takes a walk in the garden every day.

Key: Supporting evidence: A My grandmother is about 90 this year. B She was born into a well-to-do urban family. C She seems never to require the services of a doctor. D She has an abiding interest in collecting postcards. E She does not have much sense of humor. F She believes in everything: festivals, news, TV ads, success, and

all the gods. G She likes to eat fruit. H She hates dogs. I She likes the color of a strawberry. J She takes a walk in the garden every day.

(2) The topic sentence: Male chauvinism is evident in TV commercial advertisements.

Supporting evidence:A. Commercials are new in China compared to those in developed countriesB. Television sets, like air-conditioners, are seen as luxury goods in China.C. There are two female images in Chinese TV commercials: traditional women busy with household chores and “modern women” who believe that pleasure is the most important thing in life.D. In TV ads, “modern women” usually invite their boyfriends to buy them presents.E. A Chinese saying has it that when a man gets to the top, all his family members and relatives get there with him.F. One sees in a TV ad a young man in nicely pressed Western-style clothes sitting on a couch reading a newspaper, while his beautiful wife pulls off his socks.G. Chinese men have got nicknames, like “qiguanyan” (henpecked husbands) on “mofan zhangfu” (model husbands).H. Men in commercials are confident, career-oriented and energetic. A table of delicious food prepared by their wives is always waiting for them.I. Chinese commercials are providing a stage for women.J. “Modern women” appear wise in commercials because they know how to depend on men but evade conventional duties.

Key:Supporting evidence:A. Commercials are new in China compared to those in developed countriesB. Television sets, like air-conditioners, are seen as luxury goods in China.C. There are two female images in Chinese TV commercials: traditional women busy with household chores and “modern women” who believe that pleasure is the most important thing in life.D. In TV ads, “modern women” usually invite their boyfriends to buy them presents.

E. A Chinese saying has it that when a man gets to the top, all his family members and relatives get there with him.F. One sees in a TV ad a young man in nicely pressed Western-style clothes sitting on a couch reading a newspaper, while his beautiful wife pulls off his socks.G. Chinese men have got nicknames, like “qiguanyan” (henpecked husbands) on “mofan zhangfu” (model husbands).H. Men in commercials are confident, career-oriented and energetic. A table of delicious food prepared by their wives is always waiting for them.I. Chinese commercials are providing a stage for women.J. “Modern women” appear wise in commercials because they know how to depend on men but evade conventional duties.

B. CoherenceA paragraph is coherent when it develops naturally and smoothly, and one sentence leads logically to another. There are many ways to develop a paragraph, for example, by process, by cause and effect, by comparison and contrast etc.

Coherence of a paragraph is concerned with its form, or its organization. The sentences in a paragraph should be arranged in a clear, logical order, and the transitions should be smooth and natural. As a result, the reader finds it easy to follow the writer’s train of thought and understand what he is talking about.

Let’s look at the passage on page 83.

There is some feeling nowadays that reading is not as necessary as it once was. Radio and especially television have taken over many of the functions once served by print, just as photography has taken over functions once served by painting and other graphic arts. Admittedly, television serves some of these functions extremely well: the visual communication of news events, for example, has enormous impact. The ability of radio to give us information while we are engaged in doing other things—for instance, driving a car—is remarkable, and a great saving of time, but it may be seriously questioned whether the advent of modern communications media has much enhanced our understanding of the world in which we live. ---Mortimer J. Adler

This paragraph is coherent. The writer begins with a statement, and then he goes on to explain what have made some people feel that “reading is not as necessary as it once was”—radio and television have almost replaced the functions of the printed matter. What follows further explains how watching the television and listening to the radio serve some of the functions of reading. But the writer doubts whether the appearance of modern communication media has really promoted our understanding of the world, which he expresses in the last sentence, the topic sentence of the paragraph.

Exercises: P.119A. The monks looked through the books of the monastery, and these revealed that there had been a Father Anselm there a hundred years before.B. The monk went back to the monastery and found there a doorkeeper whom he did not know and who did not know him.C. The monk had never heard a lark before, and he stood there entranced until the bird and its song had become part of the heavens.D. Other monks came, and they were all strangers to the monk.E. A monk had wandered into the fields and a lark began to sing.F. The monk told other monks he was Father Anselm, but that was no help.G. Time had been blotted out while the monk listened to the lark.

Rearrange them in logical order.(1) H A monk had wandered into the fields and a lark began to sing.(2) C The monk had never heard a lark before, and he stood there entranced until the bird and its song had become part of the heavens.(3) G Time had been blotted out while the monk listened to the lark.(4) B The monk went back to the monastery and found there a doorkeeper whom he did not know and who did not know him.(5) D Other monks came, and they were all strangers to the monk.(6) F The monk told other monks he was Father Anselm, but that was no help.(7) A The monks looked through the books of the monastery, and these revealed that there had been a Father Anselm there a hundred years before.

2. Listed below are a controlling idea and nine sentences that develop the controlling Renumber the sentences to arrange them in what you think is the best order. Page 112 and page 113

The controlling idea: Since I began living in an apartment and going to school, my biggest problem has been the housework.(1) Cooking my food is a bigger problem.(2) The worst problem is doing my laundry.(3) Cleaning the apartment is not too bad; although it takes time away from my studies; at least when I finish the apartment looks nice.(4) Sometimes the food is burned, sometimes it is not cooked enough, and sometimes I have not measured correctly, so the food tastes terrible.

(5) Shopping for my food is more difficult because I don’t know the English names of many foods, and often I have to spend extra time asking for help.(6) The Laundromat is far from my apartment, and I waste much valuable time.(7) I have never had to cook before, and usually the results are discouraging.(8) Mostly I am embarrassed as I sit in the laundromat with all the women, and so I wait until all my clothes are dirty before I do this horrible task.(9) I also have trouble with the complicated instructions, so occasionally I end up with pink socks or a shirt that is too small.

Key:(1) Cleaning the apartment is not too bad; although it takes time away from my studies; at least when I finish the apartment looks nice.(2) Shopping for my food is more difficult because I don’t know the English names of many foods, and often I have to spend extra time asking for help.(3) Cooking my food is a bigger problem.(4) I have never had to cook before, and usually the results are discouraging.

(5) Sometimes the food is burned, sometimes it is not cooked enough, and sometimes I have not measured correctly, so the food tastes terrible.(6) The worst problem is doing my laundry.(7) The laundromat is far from my apartment, and I waste much valuable time.(8) Mostly I am embarrassed as I sit in the laundromat with all the women, and so I wait until all my clothes are dirty before I do this horrible task.(9) I also have trouble with the complicated instructions, so occasionally I end up with pink socks or a shirt that is too small.

C. TransitionCoherence may not be perfect even if the writer arranges his sentences in a clear, logical order. He has to use good transitions so that one sentence runs smoothly to another.

The following ways may help you to produce a fluent paragraph:

A. Using parallel structures;B. Repeating words or word groupsC. Using pronouns to refer to nouns in preceding sentences;D. Being consistent in the person and number of nouns and pronouns, and the tense of verbs.E. Using transitional expressions Page 86

1) Connectives and transitional phrases for spatial development:

above before me here on the left across below in the distance on the right adjacent to beyond nearby opposite to also further next to on top of up down close to beneath under around near to over

2) Connectives and transitional phrases for chronological development:

first, second, etc. soon eventually in the meantime then thereupon at the same time next thereafter after an interval now after presently later afterward somewhat later finally at last

3) Connectives and transitional phrases for analytical development:

first, second, etc. now for this purpose but as a result furthermore finally at last moreover also consequently likewise another for example next yet for instance on the contrary once in addition in summary once in this case on the other hand then otherwise in conclusion thus in closing therefore

4) Connectives and transitional phrases for comparisons:

another furthermore moreover equally important too, also at the same time besides then accordingly in fact in addition to like, likewise similarly just as…so in the same way

5) Connectives and transitional phrases for contrasts:

on the contrary different from/ in contrast to on the other hand despite in spite of yet, but whereas unlike nevertheless not only…but also here…there years ago…today this…that the former…the latter then…now the first…whereas the second some.. Others on the one hand…on the other

once…now

Exercises: 1. Read the following paragraph carefully. Then (1) underline the controlling idea; (2) cross out the sentences that do not help to develop the controlling idea; and (3) point out the transition. Page 112

Key: Once people were very much afraid of ghosts. Their fear led them to

develop elaborate rituals to ward off encounters with the dead. For example, since primitive people believed that ghosts could capture their spirit at funerals, they carried wooden images of themselves in the hope that the ghosts would be fooled into carrying off the images. Images have been popular with people from primitive times until today. Once people believed that taking a picture of someone would rob the person of his or her soul. It is possible, too, that the tradition of sitting up with the dead comes from a belief that ghosts escape in the night. Certainly the ritual of laying tombstones is derived from a superstition about the dead. People once believed that stones piled on top of a grave would keep the dead person’s ghost from escaping and haunting the living. Eventually the number of stones diminished until only one stone, the tombstone, was left as a reminder of the ancient superstition.

2. Choose from the following transitional expressions and put them in the blanks in the paragraphs. page 115 and page 116(1) for example; in fact; also; furthermore; not only… but also…; in addition

Key:Teachers of foreign languages should be extremely well qualified in order to carry out their duties properly. For example, a teacher should possess a minimum of a graduate degree from a certified education school or institute if he is to teach high school or below. Besides the academic degree, teachers should not consider teaching only as an occupation for earning money; they should also be interested in teaching. It was also necessary that teachers be knowledgeable in their major fields. In fact they should furthermore be skillful as well. In addition, the language teacher must know the target language well enough to be imitated by his students. Proficiency in the target language includes four skills: understanding, speaking, reading, and writing. A teacher should not only know the linguistic facts of the language of the students in order to understand the problems they will have in learning the target language, but also the teacher must be familiar with audio-lingual techniques. Knowing all this will help the students to learn correctly and quickly.

(2) then; if; when; because; even though; first

Key:

For many centuries Javanese culture has been influenced by Animism and Hinduism. Even though new religions are growing among the people—the Moslem, Catholic, and Protestant religions—many people feel that traditional ceremonies are an obligation for a Javanese. If they don’t fulfill their obligation, they believe that bad luck will come to them or to their family. When my fiancé and I decided to marry, my family encouraged us to have a traditional Javanese wedding ceremony, and we agreed. Because a traditional Javanese wedding is so complicated, it needs plenty of time for preparation. First we had to decide how many people would be invited from outside of the housing complex: my friends from work, my husband’s friends, my parents’ friends from church and from other communities. People from the housing complex are automatically invited. Then, June is a popular month for weddings, we had difficulty finding a rental hall which would hold 800 people…

D. writing the first draft

It is necessary to write a first draft, in which there should be enough space between lines for future corrections and improvements. While writing the draft, the writer need not be afraid of departing from the outline at one place or another. But he had better stop to revise his outline or work out a new one if he finds his original outline entirely impracticable.

5. Revise

After we finish our draft, next step in writing process is to revise. The hardest work is done now. We have a newly written draft that says what you want to say in the right order. Nevertheless it is liable to be imprecise, wordy, and awkward. We need to stop being the writer and read over our draft with the fresh eyes of a reader.

While revising a composition, we should keep in mind that revision does not mean a simple correction of mistakes in grammar, spelling, punctuation, and other mechanics.1) Put it aside for a while and then to read it over out loud. Look for places we are not satisfied with.

In revising we must necessarily be thinking about the reader, about the structure of the whole, about whether our words are true.-Look for places where we stumble or are lost in the middle of a sentence. These are obvious awkwardness that needs fixing.

2) Cut through the extra words or vagueness or digression; To see bits you can leave out, even though you love them3) Use active verbs, avoid the passive voice and too much of the verb ‘to be.’4) To see a simple way to say something that’s now roundabout

5) Check grammar, spelling and punctuation. Get rid of mistakes in spelling, punctuation and grammar.6) If we have difficulty getting things correct, make sure we write out a fresh copy of our piece at this point .

7) Take a break so we can come back to this clean copy with fresh eyes. Morning is a good time for fresh eyes and proofreading. 8) Type our final version or write it out neatly on good paper. Don’t use both sides of the paper unless there is some special reason.

9) Proofread for errors. Mistakes in copying and typographical errors are almost inevitable. 10) Use a friend or two to help find errors.

In our book there is checklist for revision, which may be of help: Page 151, page 152, and page 153.

I.Content: Look at the essay / composition as a whole.

A What is the topic of the essay/composition? Does the draft fulfill the assignment (e.g. mode of development or type of composition?)B Is the thesis clear? Is it supported by enough facts(details, examples, reasons, etc.)?C Is there irrelevant material that should be removed?D Is the logic sound? Are there gaps in the logic?

II.Organization: Look at the arrangement of the material.

A. Does the introductory paragraph lead to the main point of the paper?B. Does each paragraph have a separate central idea? Does it relate to the essay’s main idea or to the previous paragraph? Are there proper transitions between sections? Are the paragraphs arranged in climactic order?C. does the concluding paragraph give the reader a clear impression of what the paper intends to say?

III. Sentences:A. is each sentence clearly related to the sentence that precedes it and to the sentence that follows?B. Are there unnecessary sentences that may be removed?C. Are there structural mistakes?D. Are there wordy and redundant sentences?E. Is there variety in sentence type?

IV. Diction:A. Are there words that are not appropriate for the topic or the style of the whole essay (e.g. too colloquial or too formal)?B. Are there words or phrases which are directly translated from Chinese but which may mean something different in English?C. Are there collocations which may be incorrect because they are taken from Chinese (e.g. a big rain)?