References

• Pathwork Lectures: 9, 24, 201, 219, 226, 247

• Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All; Gerald Jampolsky, M.D.

• Forgiveness: A Bold Choice for a Peaceful Heart; Robin Casarjian

• A Course in Miracles: Foundation for Inner Peace – Check Internet

• The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology; Jack Kornfield, Ph.D.

• Other books by: Jack Kornfield and Fred Luskin

• Colin Tipping – www.radicalforgiveness.com

• www.consciousthinking.com – all slides

FORGIVENESS IS:

• A desire to heal old wounds despite:• Injustice

• Betrayal

• Injury

• A choice to:• Relinquish resentments

• Release desire for revenge

• An intention to:• Focus on the present rather than the past

• Bring closure to hurtful issues

• A Process

“Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.”

Author unknown

FORGIVENESS IS NOT:

• Condoning, pardoning, forgetting or appeasing

• Guaranteed to resolve every grievance

• For the faint hearted

• For others

FORGIVENESS CHALLENGES

• When betrayed or harmed we feel threatened

• Forgiveness requires letting go of victimhood

• Forgiveness is an acquired skill• It is challenging to face self in total honesty

• It takes repeated practice to open the heart

FORGIVENESS – WHY BOTHER?

• For health’s sake – PEMS• Fearful, vengeful, blaming thoughts are stressful

• Stress and tension creates • Energy blocks

• Dis-ease

• Forgiveness activates biochemical healing response

• Resolves inner tension relaxes, rebalances the body

• You can’t forgive others until you can forgive yourself

• Self-judgment creates a vicious circle

SELF-FORGIVENESS

SELFSELFSELFSELF----JUDGMENTJUDGMENTJUDGMENTJUDGMENT

GUILTGUILTGUILTGUILT

PERFECTIONISMPERFECTIONISMPERFECTIONISMPERFECTIONISM

GUILTGUILTGUILTGUILT

NEGATIVITYNEGATIVITYNEGATIVITYNEGATIVITY

SELF FORGIVENESS

ecognizes guilty feelings

ccepts responsibility for what has been done

nvestigates the disharmony

• Explores motivation behind negativity

• Listens compassionately to inner fears

on-identification

• Affirm fundamental goodness

• Pray for help with forgiveness process

"I ACCEPT MYSELF THE WAY I AM,

I FORGIVE MYSELF WITH ALL MY IMPERFECTIONS,

I LOVE MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY."

"I ACCEPT EVERYONE THE WAY THEY ARE

I FORGIVE EVERYONE WITH ALL THEIR IMPERFECTIONS

I LOVE EVERYONE UNCONDITIONALLY."

Ask yourself:

“Do I really want to forgive? You will then see

that part of you wants to do it, but another part

enjoys not forgiving. If you recognize that, you

have a further clue about the truth of your lower

nature – and this is priceless knowledge on the

path of purification.” Pwl 9

FORGIVENESS AND THE LS

• The lower self deserves the mercy, forgiveness, and love that human beings have been praying for, thinking that dispensations given from the outside will make up for what they withhold from themselves.

Pwl 226

• Forgiveness for all sins, for every transgression exists already, because God recognizes in much deeper terms why you are driven as you are, why you must go through your sins in order to recognize them for what they are, so that a new incentive spurs you on to the great journey you, here on this path, are now undertaking. Pwl 258 p. 7

FORGIVING OTHERS

• Acknowledge there is something in you that caused

the hurtful situation.

• Wholeheartedly ask God to help find the cause in

you.

• Pray for the person who offended you.

• Ask God to help you have sufficient vision

to forgive.

FORGIVING OTHERS

• Beneath other person’s negativity and judgment is someone struggling for:

• Love

• Acknowledgement

• Attention

• Try understanding their journey with its:

• Distortions

• Misconceptions

FORGIVING OTHERS

• Recite: There are many ways I have been harmed by others, abused or abandoned, knowingly or unknowingly in thought, word or deed.

• Say to yourself: I now remember the many ways others have hurt or harmed or wounded me out of fear, pain, confusion and anger. I have carried this pain in my heart too long. To those who have caused me harm, I offer my forgiveness, I forgive you.

THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS

SELF-FORGIVENESS PRACTICE

• Recite: There are many ways I have hurt and harmed myself. I have betrayed, abandoned and judged myself many times through thought, word or deed, knowingly and unknowingly.

• Repeat to yourself: For the ways I have hurt myself through action or inaction, out of fear, pain and confusion, I now extend a full and heartfelt forgiveness.

“I forgive myself, I forgive myself.” Jack Kornfield, “A Wise Heart”

EXERCISETransforming Grievances

Adopted from Colin Tipping’s “The Radical Forgiveness Worksheet”

• Describe situation

• Express feeling about situation• Accept feelings; do not judge them

• Realize your feelings reflect a limited view

• Acknowledge no one can make you feel anything

• State “payback” price

Transforming GrievancesAdopted from Colin Tipping’s “The Radical Forgiveness Worksheet”

• Core negative beliefs which dramatized the situation/story

• I am not enough

• I am not safe

• People always abandon me

• Life’s not fair

• I am unworthy

• I am unlovable

• Other

JUDGEMENT, SPITE ETC. AREDISTORTIONS OF A DIVINE EXPRESSION

DISTORTION

Judging self or others

Spiteful, stubborn, rigid

Rebellious, non-conforming

Competitive, egotistical

PWL 219

DIVINE EXPRESSION

Capacity to distinguish, discriminate

Centered, secure, assertive

Courageous, independent

Desire to excel