worksheet for alex kouts | the art of negotiating (episode ... · negotiation to end well....
TRANSCRIPT
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Alex Kouts joined us for AoC episode 326 to discuss the art of negotiating. His background includes starting out in business development, which means he was basically a professional negotiator for his company. He shares with us a ton of practical tips on how to ask for what we want in any setting — from a job offer to buying a mattress — and what tools we have available right now to get started.
You Have More Leverage Than You Think
Alex says that the other side of the table is a reflection of how you may feel. They are terrified of losing you as an employee, losing face to their superiors, and want the negotiation to end well.
Worksheet for AlexKouts | The Art of
Negotiating (Episode 326)
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Jordan pointed out that there is more at stake on the other side of the table as the hiring process is more cost prohibitive than employee retention.
Knowing that there is as much (potentially more) at stake for the individual interviewing you, how might you use that confidence to leverage a raise or a higher starting salary?
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Evaluate Your Value
You have a moral responsibility to get every dollar of value you are worth, because you can be damned sure your company is going to get every dollar of value they can out of you. Remember: the leadership of the company is only loyal to the shareholder...not you. So the burden of knowing what you're worth — and being able to explain it when asked — is on you.
What qualities make you a valuable addition to any team — that is, what do you bring to the table?
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What qualities might you expand upon to make you more valuable to your current employer or clients?
What new qualities could you could add to your repertoire to be even more valuable in the future?
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The Power of Pre-Work
Alex talked about “the power of pre-work” frequently through the podcast. He shared an anecdote of negotiating down his rent in the Bay Area by finding a landlord who had several liens against his properties, and then made a low-ball offer on one of the properties that did not have a lien — knowing that this owner needed to get the property off the market.
In reference to this, Alex says finding the right person to talk to immediately starts you at third base in the negotiating process. Know what the pain points are relative to the person you are talking to.
Make sure you’re meeting their needs as well: know what they want, and find the Venn diagram where you have overlap between what you want and what they need, and write it down.
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What kind of pre-work can you do when it comes to negotiating a raise, getting hired, or perhaps even purchasing a car?
What are the other side of the table’s “pain points?”
How can you meet their needs and still get what you want?
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Get Them to Visualize the Win
Get the other side to visualize the win when working through the negotiation process and reinforce it throughout this process. This gets them in the mindset of bringing the deal to a close now instead of dragging things out longer than they need to be.
Practice creating various turn of phrase you can use in helping someone visualize the win, such as: “What is your 'out the door' price?” and “How can I make this a win for all parties involved?” Find the Venn diagram of where your needs overlap.
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Negotiate the Non-Negotiable
In getting familiar with the process of negotiating, Alex suggests you practice negotiating with 20 things that you think aren’t negotiable, such as a hamburger at McDonald's. This reminds you that often there is little to nothing at stake for the person on the other side of the table. It does not come out of their pocket, so you're not going to offend anyone by asking.
To get comfortable “making the ask,” list a few places where you might practice low-risk negotiation.
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Get Closer to the Crown
One of the best ways of increasing your income is by “being close to the crown.” Jordan suggests that if you can’t get the salary or raise you are looking for, as an alternative, negotiate a lunch meeting with the CEO or Founder (someone very important) once a quarter. This will allow you to find out where the company is going so you can be on the cutting edge.
Additionally, he suggests you shorten the review cycle to negotiate your salary twice as often.
Do you know your CEO or upper management? Spend some time finding ways to get closer to the crown this week.
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The Hiring Process Strategy
When it comes to the hiring process, Alex shares this basic strategy:
1. Do your “pre-work” so you know how you can fill their needs.
2. Use strategic silence to allow the other side of the table to fill in their own Blanks.
3. Never make the first offer and never give a salary expectation.
4. When the offer comes, remember that no one offers the top of their budget. Generally you have 10-15% to work with.
5. When countering, be sure to display social proof. “Based on other offers in the market...” Then help them visualize the win.“If you can match this, I will give my notice tomorrow.”
6. BATNA — Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement...what is your “Plan B?” Don’t become hyper focused
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on a single outcome. Have your “emergency parachute” prepared. Always be looking for other opportunities, even if your current situation seems like a sure thing. Your attitude should be that there is a world past this offer — no matter what. 7. Always be open to other opportunities, even once you are employed. Adopt an abundance mindset. There should always be other opportunities.
Alex says your reaction to any salary offer should be: “Thank you for the offer; I really appreciate it. I need time to consider it among other opportunities I’m looking at. Is there any flexibility in the base?”
Additionally, emotional leverage is increased when you are in the room versus responding to an email, but can only work if you are “zen” with the situation. Remember, they don’t want to explain that it didn’t work out after everyone has given their okay.
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Try role playing this process this week with your significant other or a close friend. Get used to the feeling of anxiety that comes with being in the room and not saying “yes” immediately.
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Remember, if you ever walk away from a negotiation feeling like the salesperson “is a really good guy,” you were screwed. Last, Alex suggests the other side will respect you more if you negotiate with them. They may feel that you are weak or can’t handle their business if you can’t handle your own — within reason. They want a wolf, but not to feel disrespected.
Full show notes and resources for this episode can be found here.
Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned talk show host, social dynamics expert, and entrepreneur.
He’s the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a consulting and coaching company — as well as a top 50 podcast on iTunes — which he’s been hosting for over a decade.Jordan has spent several years abroad in Europe and the developing world, including South America, Eastern Europe, and the Middle East, and speaks several languages. He has also worked for various governments and NGOs overseas, traveled through war zones, and been kidnapped — twice.
He’ll tell you the only reason he’s still alive and kicking is because of his ability to talk his way into (and out of), just about any type of situation.
AJ Harbinger “Vulnerability is my strength.”
AJ Harbinger is a relationship development expert. His creation, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers who want to develop social capital and relationships of the highest quality.
AJ and his co-founders teach millions of people each year how to create, develop, and maintain top business and personal relationships.
Men have traveled from over 50 countries to attend Bootcamp. Each week at AoC headquarters in Los Angeles, these men discover how to be the best version of themselves.
AJ’s mantra is “your network is your net worth” — and this value is what he develops in each of his students.
John Dzubak happened upon the field of social dynamics and dating coaching quite by accident. Having been a touring musician much of his life, he felt the need to contribute positively to the world and was interested in the power of personal transformation. Johnny began educating himself about social dynamics and incorporating the concepts he learned into his day-to-day life. Soon after, he began coaching for a small social dynamics company out of Washington, DC; it was then that he met AJ and Jordan.
Johnny is all about getting rid of the ‘game’ on which so many other similar companies focus, and he wanted to find a natural way to bring out the best qualities in people. Understanding the true emotion and genuine connection people make with one another is where he finds his inspiration. It is this philosophy that makes him a great fit for The Art of Charm crew.
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