Words and Triangles

Our words can be used for good to. . .

• Accept Christ

Romans 10:9

For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.

Our words can be used for good to. . .

• Accept Christ• Proclaim Christ

Deuteronomy 32:3

I will proclaim the name of the LORD; how glorious is our God!

Our words can be used for good to. . .

• Accept Christ• Proclaim Christ• Worship God

Psalm 109:30

With my mouth I will greatly extol the LORD; in the great throng I will praise him.

Our words can be used for good to. . .

• Accept Christ• Proclaim Christ• Worship God• Encourage Others

Hebrews 10:24

Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds.

I can live a month on a complement.

Mark Twain

James 3:10

. . . blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!

2. Our words can also be used negatively, to harm both others and the Kingdom by. . .

• Discouraging others• Gossiping (a.k.a. Triangulation)

What is triangulation?

“Are you Guilty of Triangulating on the Job?” from The CPA Insider, July 25, 2011

Jennifer Wilson

Gossiping (a.k.a. Triangulation)

• Is addressed repeatedly in the Bible • The Biblical mandate is always the

same - Don’t do it!

Proverbs 6:16-19

There are six things the LORD hates-- no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord among brothers.

Romans 1:28-32

And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness.

Romans 1:28-32 (con’t.)

They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

James 1:26

If you claim to be [truly] religious but don't control your tongue, you are just fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.

• Gossiping (a.k.a. Triangulation)

o Is addressed repeatedly in the Bible o The Biblical mandate is always the same -

Don’t do it

o Triples the number of interactions

Conflict/Disagreement

(Perceived) Persecutor

(Perceived) Victim

Triangulation

(Perceived) Persecutor

(Perceived) Victim

Rescuer

Two’s company; three’s a __________.

Two’s company; three’s an opportunity to triangulate.

Matthew 19:4

And he said, 'This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.'

Triangulation in a Marriage Husband

Father and WifeMother

Triangulation in a Marriage Husband

Father and WifeMother

Triangulation in a Marriage Husband

Father and WifeMother

An Ideal Marriage

Husband and Wife

Gossiping (a.k.a. Triangulation)

• Is addressed repeatedly in the Bible • The Biblical mandate is always the

same - Don’t do it

• Triples the number of interactions

• Allowing it encourages others to sin

If you are/have been gossiping. . .

• Stop• Seek forgiveness • Use Matthew 18:15-17 and

Matthew 5:23-24

Matthew 18:15-17

"If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the fault. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.

Matthew 18:15-17 (con’t.)

If that person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. If the church decides you are right, but the other person won't accept it, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.

Matthew 5:23-24

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

If someone else gossips to you

• Use 2 Timothy 4:2 - “Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching”.

• Ask them, “Did you tell this to __________? He/she would want to know.”

• Tell them, “You need to tell _________ and not me.”

• Ask them, “Isn’t this gossip/triangulation?”

If/when a person says, “I can’t go to the person who has sinned against me because….”• Two choicesoGo to the person anyway. The Bible

makes absolutely no provisions or allowances that ever permits people to gossip – period. oDon’t gossip to begin with!

3 Keys to stopping gossip/triangulation

• Become aware of it• Be “prayed-up”• Follow the Bible (It works!)