with david and darlene steele · radical marriage retreat express and set your intention co-create...
TRANSCRIPT
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With David and Darlene Steele
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What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”
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Romance!
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What’s the difference between “Love” and “Romance?”
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Love: “A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.”
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Love: “A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.”
So, love is a feeling
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Romance: “To court or woo with ardor.”
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Romance: “To court or woo with ardor.”
So, romance is an action.
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Radical Romance: “To energetically, creatively, and continuously express your love and woo your partner.”
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The three requirements of Radical Romance
Radical Marriage Attitude
Radical Marriage Actions
Radical Marriage Strategies
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Radical Marriage Attitude
Strive to be the best partner you can be.
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Radical Marriage Attitude
Strive to be the best partner you can be.
Take 100% responsibility for your outcomes in the relationship
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Radical Marriage Action
Every day we have opportunities to make our partner happy
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Radical Marriage Action
Every day we have opportunities to make our partner happy
Your everyday actions express your love for your partner and the value you place on your relationship
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Radical Marriage Action
Every day we have opportunities to make our partner happy
Your everyday actions express your love for your partner and the value you place on your relationship
Do something every day to make your marriage the best marriage possible
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Radical Romance Strategies
Relationship Journal
Radical Marriage Retreat
One-Way Dates
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Radical Romance Strategy #1: The Relationship Journal
Our all time favorite tool to take your romantic intentions to the next level
Helps discover, communicate and address needs, issues, and goals
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Relationship Journal Steps
Step 1: Purchase one or two blank books or spiral notebooks.
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Relationship Journal Steps
Step 2: Schedule at least 30 minutes for this process.
Agree on frequency, preferably at least 3 times per week.
Agree on a time and place.
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Step 3: Don’t wait for your partner to remember or initiate. When the time comes, drop whatever else you are doing and create an "intimate space."
Relationship Journal Steps
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Relationship Journal Steps
Step 4: Make your entry in the Relationship Journal. You can also write in your journal
at any time as it occurs to you.
Do not read your partner's entry until you have finished yours.
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Relationship Journal Steps
Suggested Entry #1: What do you appreciate about your partner today?
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Relationship Journal Steps
Suggested Entry#2: What issues are you aware of
in your relationship today?
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Relationship Journal Steps
Suggested Entry#3: What needs can you identify that you are experiencing in your relationship today?
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Relationship Journal Steps
Suggested Entry #4: What did you do today (or recently)
to improve your relationship?
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Relationship Journal Steps
Suggested Entry #5: Reflect upon your last sexual experience and identify what you liked and what you want to do differently next time.
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Relationship Journal Steps
Step 5: Read each other's entry, ask clarifying questions in a neutral, nonjudgmental, non-defensive manner.
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Relationship Journal Steps
Step 6: Start by acknowledging your partner's appreciations, then make sure each issue has a matching need identified; if not, assist your partner to identify what unmet need is underlying their issue.
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Relationship Journal Steps
Step 7: Discuss the needs one by one. Negotiate. Brainstorm. Be open and flexible with your outcomes and find the win-win solution.
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Relationship Journal Steps
Step 8: Record agreements/solutions in Relationship Journal.
Positive Measureable Specific
All needs are valid.
Assume a solution exists & be creative!
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Relationship Journal Steps
Step 9: Keep all agreements!
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Relationship Journal Steps
Step 10: Closing ritual
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Radical Romance Strategy #2: Radical Marriage Retreat
Use a romantic retreat as a way to add romance to the Relationship Journal process.
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Radical Marriage Retreat
Express and set your intention
Co-create the retreat from start to finish
Start by creating an intimate space
Use the Relationship Journal to identify dreams, wants, needs, issues, and how to address them
Use the retreat to create and revisit your dreams for your ultimate life together
Consider joining a Radical Marriage retreat or hiring a Radical Marriage coach to facilitate your private retreat
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Radical Romance Strategy #3: One-Way Dates
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One-Way Dates
Couples need to regularly get out of their routine and re-charge their romance
But couples often fall into negotiation or compromise traps, so it is rare to have the experience you really desire
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One-Way Dates
Solution?
Four Types of One-Way Dates
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One-Way Dates Type One Dates: Create a romantic experience for your partner.
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One-Way Dates Type One Dates: Create a romantic experience for your partner. Type Two Dates: Your partner creates a romantic experience for you.
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One-Way Dates
Type Three Dates: Create a romantic experience for yourself.
Type One Dates: Create a romantic experience for your partner. Type Two Dates: Your partner creates a romantic experience for you.
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One-Way Dates
Type Three Dates: Create a romantic experience for yourself. Type Four Dates: Your partner creates a romantic experience for their self.
Type One Dates: Create a romantic experience for your partner. Type Two Dates: Your partner creates a romantic experience for you.
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Suggestion: Co-create it
Discuss and commit on the plan together
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Suggestion: Co-create it
Discuss and commit on the plan together
One way dates work much better when you are teaming up
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Suggestion: Schedule It
Get your calendar out and schedule your dates months or even a year in advance.
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Suggestion: Schedule It
Get your calendar out and schedule your dates months or even a year in advance.
Designate the type of date on your calendar.
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Suggestion: Plan It
You must plan dates ahead of time for this system to work.
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Suggestion: Plan It
You must plan dates ahead of time for this system to work.
Radical Romance requires a quality experience, which requires intent and forethought.
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Suggestion: Own It
Design the romantic experience of your dreams or of your partner’s dreams without compromising.
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Suggestion: Own It
Design the romantic experience of your dreams or of your partner’s dreams without compromising.
Make each date unique.
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Suggestion: Keep It
Make every effort to keep your agreements.
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Suggestion: Keep It
Make every effort to keep your agreements.
If you forget or aren’t prepared for a scheduled date, you have broken your agreement.
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Suggestion: Keep It
Make every effort to keep your agreements.
If you forget or aren’t prepared for a scheduled date, you have broken your agreement.
If you do this consistently, the plan won’t work and neither will your relationship.
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Suggestion: Budget It
Set agreements around the amount of time and money you are able to invest in your one-way dates.
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Suggestion: Budget It
Set agreements around the amount of time and money you are able to invest in your one-way dates.
One-way dates don’t require spending money.
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Suggestion: Enjoy It
You must have a positive attitude for each date, otherwise you and your partner will
not have the experience you deserve.
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Suggestion: Scratch It
Don’t plan a date based on what your partner did last time.
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Suggestion: Scratch It
Don’t plan a date based on what your partner did last time.
Start each date with a blank slate
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Suggestion: Scratch It
Don’t plan a date based on what your partner did last time.
Start each date with a blank slate
Don’t keep score – it will harm your dates and your relationship.
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Make your life together your greatest
adventure.
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Thanks for joining us!