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Women Cantors’ NetworkJacqueline Breines, President Gail F. Nalven, Editor

The Retirement Issue Retirement. We should all be so lucky to reach that time in life where we are ready to move on from our careers. Determining how to do this is not an easily thing. Debby Lewis, who will be retiring this spring from her position at Anshe Emet in Chicago, presents some thoughts on preparing for retirement. Annie Rose reflects back on her retirement from Temple Beth Emeth in Ann Arbor with some some practical ideas for us to consider. And Geri Zeller talks about how to retire and still keep a seat on the bimah. Let’s keep this discussion alive in our listserv and on our Facebook page. Speaking of retirement, I will be retiring from my role as editor of this newsletter with the next issue. After six years, it’s time to more on. More on this in the spring issue.

Kol tuv, Gail

A SEAT ON THE BIMAHby Geri Zeller

RETIREMENT! The word has so many meanings to different people and so many variables. •What do you want out of retirement?•Do you want to pack your stuff up and leave in the dark of night or do you want to remain connected to your congregation?•Can your congregation afford a retirement package and if so what do you want in that package; medical, a stipend?

• Do you want to continue to officiate at life cycle events of people you have known for many years? Will you be compensated by the synagogue, the family or is that part of your package? So many variables.

My congregation is barely making ends meet. They didn't pay me a lot when I was working and they're not paying me now, but that was not part of my criteria. I wanted the title emerita, a seat on the bimah and the ability to remain an active part of my spiritual home. I have a wonderful working relationship with the rabbi and cantor, occasionally fill in for compensation, and the cantor and I often harmonize during services. When I'm in town, I am on the bimah Friday night and when I'm traveling, I enjoy myself without worrying about things I'll have to catch up on. My life is full and my cup runneth over.

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THE NEXT STEP: QUESTIONS AND EXPLORATIONSby Annie Rose

I am grateful for the opportunity to share a bit about my experience with retirement. It seems like so long ago that I had the privilege of hosting the WCN conference in Ann Arbor! It was 2013, a year before my retirement from Temple Beth Emeth, where I had served as cantor for 20 years. Our conference was one of my most treasured highlights of those 20 years. Thank you again for the opportunity to host! My heart went immediately to the conference as I started to write about retirement because I look back fondly at how I shared conversations with many of you about what retirement might look like. As we all know, Der mentsh trakht un Got lakht! We make plans, and G-d laughs!

I'll start with a few answers to questions I have received from WCN members: 1. I do have emerita status. 2. I did sign a retirement contract. It was very straightforward, protecting both temple and

me: A. I would not officiate for High Holy Day (or other) services for one year in Michigan. B. I would not start a chavurah.

C. I would understand that all life cycle events are for the rabbi and cantor, with the cantor emerita participating as requested by the rabbi and cantor, not by the family involved.

D. I receive no stipend. E. I do not have office space at temple. We are already very short on space, so an office

for me would have meant new construction! 8. There's not a lot that I wish I had done differently, but I do wish I had asked for a

continuing conference stipend. I believe the temple board would have granted that to me. At the time I just didn't ask for anything.

9. Finally, what have been the biggest challenges and greatest joys of retirement? I'll start with a few of the joys: Having time with my husband – the main reason I retired, and it is such a joy! Teaching voice to lots of wonderful students, studying Torah with much more attention, and – much to my surprise and delight – serving a small congregation an hour from Ann Arbor that was looking for a new spiritual leader. It's a delightful biweekly pulpit that offers so much and asks for just what I can give at this point in my life.

And a few of the challenges of being cantor emerita of a fairly large congregation:• When people are ill, or have experienced loss, it has been very difficult to be connected but to avoid

overstepping my emerita role in people's lives. I know this will vary widely for each of you when you retire, based on many variables such as size of congregation, contractual understandings, and more. Some congregations may actually request more involvement, but the overriding guideline at TBE has been "give room to the new cantor and make yourself scarce." (That said, I am now offering the spirituality book club that I used to lead, having been asked to do so in the second year of my retirement.) So, when someone is in the hospital, the question of my visiting is complicated. I need to ascertain first that the rabbi and cantor have had adequate opportunity to spend time visiting. Once they have invited me to do so, I am welcome to visit. This situation can be very tricky, as you can imagine.

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• Casual meetings around town: For instance, running into people at the supermarket . . . OY! What happens when someone has many opinions about how things are going at temple, either positive or negative, and they ask for feedback, help, support of an idea, etc, etc...Of course the guiding principle is to avoid gossip entirely. That's what all of us would do, and we all also know the challenges of asking someone to refrain from further conversation, either directly or by changing the topic. It's easy with some people, and very difficult with others.

• Learning to understand how to stay connected but also loosen that connection. My advice on this is to have certain responses to requests ready to offer -- heartfelt, of course, but also organized and planned. When people ask for coffee dates, of course it's great. But when 25 people ask each month, just to catch up . . . well, it's too much. I don't want to lose touch, but I simply cannot spend all those hours in coffee dates with temple members who are not close friends. I do not mean to sound ungrateful for their affection, or haughty or aloof . . . it’s a matter of life's priorities. So I have set aside one or two hours each week for such coffee dates or walks, and I look forward to seeing people rather than resenting it or wondering how I can fit everything in.

Suggestions:• If you can possibly announce your retirement way ahead (two years?) there will be lots of time for

adjustment and natural endings. There's no feeling of sudden disappearance.• Look for and find clarity in what your role at temple will look like, even though you know that will

change and grow as time goes by:• Will you be at services? Will you have a seat on the bimah?• Will you be part of the transition team? • What kind of meetings will you have with your successor? Build them into the time you are still on

salary, although of course, be available for whatever questions your successor has as time goes by.• Will you continue with some responsibilities? Talk through this with the staff and transition team.• Be prepared for successor candidates to ask you all kinds of questions that you will want to answer

as well as those you will refrain from answering. Please talk through this with fellow staff or the hiring committee ahead of time.

• Talk with others who have gone through this and ask for advice.• Take the time for proper goodbyes or other transitional words. Even though you may be active at

temple in any of a variety of ways, things will be different. You know it; your congregation knows it. But communication is very important and it is easy to skip some conversations that are hard. "Annie, will you be at my funeral?” Yes, I will, may it be very long from now! "Will you sing the El male rachamim?" I won't; that will be the honor of our new cantor. But I will be right there and will pray, with everyone else, and will hold you in my heart always! May you live for many years! (This was an actual conversation I had with an elderly-- in good health!-- congregant who cried as we talked.)

• Be optimistic and upbeat, but still let the sadness show. I know you know this, but it's good to reinforce. The temple will continue to be our spiritual home and the rabbi and cantor will lead us as we all continue to grow.

• Know that the WCN will be there for you, and you for the WCN, always, without interruption. All the love and wisdom and connection are absolutely vital! I am eternally grateful to all of you.

I would be happy to discuss fine points of my contract or any other issues with any of you.

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TRADING KIPPOT: RITUAL DIRECTOR FOR CONGREGANTby Debby Lewis

I was in the last part of my (then) three-year contract late in 2014. Should I negotiate another three-year contract? Perhaps a two-year contract? I made the decision that I wanted to work one more year until I was 66 and could claim my full Social Security benefit (after all---I’ve been paying into it since I was 16!). I love being the Ritual Director of Anshe Emet Synagogue in Chicago and basically acting in the capacity of Hazzan Sheni. I love being part of people’s lives in good times and tough times. What could be better than officiating at a baby naming, bris or wedding? What could be more humbling than escorting someone out of this world at a funeral or leading a shiva minyan? I love watching my

students celebrate their Bar/Bat Mitzvah, graduate high school, graduate college and even get married. What a kick to develop adult relationships with students I had when they were twelve and thirteen! I love leading the congregation in song and prayer. I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have the profession/calling that I do.

But my granddaughter, Nellie, was born in 2014 and the pull of being Grammie was becoming very strong. She lives in Brooklyn and I wanted to be able to see her when I wanted to, to spend as much time with her as possible (my wonderful daughter-in-law said I was welcome to move in to the lower level of their apartment – how’s that for a great relationship?!?). I also wanted to hike and bike and have time with my husband while we are both healthy enough to do the outdoorsy things we love.

So I decided that it was time to stop getting up at five a.m. and turn the position over to someone else. Fourteen years is a long time for a second career that began when I was 51, and I am ready to change my “professional” kippah for one of “regular congregant.”

And how to best make that happen? I hired an attorney who specializes in clergy contract negotiations to negotiate a one-year contract for me. It’s hard to be your own negotiator and I believe the advertisement that says: “You will not get what you deserve, you will get what you negotiate.” Guess what? It’s true. No matter how much a congregation may love you or value you, budgets are tough, membership is a challenge and there’s always a reason for people to say no. I didn’t want to be in the position to negotiate with people I have grown to care about over the past many years. It was the wisest decision I could have made. My lawyer was recommended to me. He’s a total mensch who knew what other cantors/rabbis were making and who understood how to deal with synagogue boards. I was completely pleased with the outcome and I would be happy to recommend him to anyone who asks me for his name.

The synagogue waited to “officially” announce my retirement after the High Holy Days (although the rumors were flying and people were asking me on the Q.T. if it was true). They are in the process of screening candidates and will call selected ones in for interviews. The search committee wants me to meet all the candidates and have them meet me. I am happy that I will have some input in my successor since I care a great deal about passing the “kippah” off to someone who will love the congregants as much as I do!

My plan after June 30, 2016 is to absent myself from the synagogue for a while. I want the new person to be able to make the job her/his own without worrying that I am judging her/him. I want the congregants to see the new Ritual Director as the person in charge without them coming to me with questions/concerns. But Anshe Emet is my synagogue and my spiritual home and I am excited to be a part of the ka’hal sans responsibilities. I want to take classes and schmooze with folks. It’s time for a new chapter in my life.

But not to worry . . . the WCN will always be a part of my life, and I look forward to having more time to devote to helping make the organization stronger and more relevant in today’s world.

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A WORD FROM THE PRESIDENT

“Then Miriam the prophetess, Aaron’s sister, took a timbrel in her hand, and all the women went out after her in dance with timbrels.” — Parashat Beshallach

As a woman, and as the steward of Jewish music for my congregation, I feel a special affinity to this Torah portion and to Shabbat Shira in general. Miriam and the women were in charge of music making! This was apparently the custom, as evidenced by this and other Biblical references to women going forth with music and dance, but don’t you think it’s noteworthy that the women happened to have their instruments with them?! This was a group of people frantically running from slavery, in such a hurry they

couldn’t wait for their bread to rise. But not to worry – they have their timbrels! A midrash explains that the women had faith that God would perform miracles as they came out of Egypt, allowing the Israelites to escape; thus they came prepared to make music to celebrate the occasion. Many of us plan special musical programming for our congregations on Shabbat Shira, this year on January 22nd and 23rd. As you plan your Shabbat Shira celebration, or even if you are reading this after Shabbat Shira, remember that you are part of a historical group of women who take our music with us wherever we go, no matter what is happening around us, always prepared to make joyful music!

Yours in song and sisterhood,Jacqui

My last HHD services were at my mid 80's, and my last pulpit at my late husband's death in1979. On October 2nd, near my 95th Birthday, (10/15/2015), I participated with other seniors with other backgrounds, in a theater program, repeated because of overflow crowds. Shabbat was very much with me there. I sang my Aveinu Shebashamayim. WCN's e-mails today keep me current. I've never retired. My work on the pulpit, indelible, from 1970 to 1980, prepared me for today. So those of you preparing for retirement, onward to your 95th, too.–-Dora Krakower

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SHIR RUACH! Celebrating in Song and Spirit!WCN Annual Conference, Ridgefield, CT

June 20th-23rd, 2016 Our committee is so excited about the next conference in Ridgefield, CT! We have been working on it for months and most pieces are in place! It will be a wonderful gathering within driving distance of the East Coast and Philly/DC area, and easy travel from NYC airports. The hotel, Crowne Plaza Danbury, has given us a great rate of $119 plus tax per night (including full breakfast) for up to 4 in a room. Our workshops will include lots of music for you to sing and get inspired by, encouraging new members to sing their favorite pieces for Friday evening or Lifecycle favorites. Hopefully everyone will find a few new pieces to be inspired by and share with their congregations and communities. Here's a sampling of the workshops/services and fun that we'll be offering. • Beth Styles is a songwriter who creates Shabbat worship with a gospel choir.• Carrie Chanin is offering, Vocal Wisdom/A Bissel Yiddish. Carrie is an accomplished opera and Yiddish

art singer. • Rabbi Jeffrey Silberman wrote a program for Pastoral Counseling that helped develop testing for

certification. He is director of a hospital pastoral program and is going to share his wisdom about the field, certification and skills with the ill.

• Our own Arlyne Unger is offering a weekday nusach class. • Our own Rena Shapiro is going to teach High Holiday trope and, time permitted, Megillah trope. • Jewish yoga with Valerie Rich. Valerie is a gifted yoga instructor in many styles and loves to infuse

Jewish concepts in her yoga teaching. • We will visit the Aldrich Museum of ContemporaryArt (a 10 minute walk from the synagogue) for

wine/hors d'oeuvres while we enjoy the museum's offerings including its outdoor sculpture gardens.• Hazzan Jackie Mendelson will lead a traditional ma’ariv service followed by his biographical film, A

Cantor's Tale, with a Q &A afterwards.• Life Cycle Favorites.• Gigi Van Dyke is returning for Kosher Gospel: Black/Jewish Spirituals.• Special ma’ariv service led by Magda Fishman.• Comedienne, Christine O’Leary will help us polish our storytelling.• Kosher wine tasting.And be sure to stay for Thursday morning. After services led by Ellen Dreskin, she will share “The Theology of Mishkan HaNefesh” the new High Holiday machzor for the Reform movement. At the same time, Rabbi David Reiner will offer an alternative: A Comparative Text Study for the High Holidays, comparing branches of Judaism and their understanding of Sh’ma Koleinu. There are opportunities to be involved, to sing, to lead a prayer, to share, to learn. I’m very excited to welcome you to my synagogue and my community. This is the third conference I’ve hosted at this synagogue – people are already lining up to volunteer and get involved. All we need is YOU! Registration materials will be available soon. Let us know if you have questions.

Shalom,Deborah Katchko-Gray, ChairCo-Chairs: Debby Lewis, Robin Joseph, Barbara StamblerCommittee: Jan Morrison, Jinny Marsh, Sherry Barnes, Robin Sparr, Nina Primer, Robbi Sherwin, Kathy SeboCantorial School Liaisons: Ellen Dreskin, Nancy Dubin, Nancy Abramson, Eryka Velazquesz, Gladys Gruenwald.

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MEMBER NEWS

Baruch Dyan Emet Heidi Kunitz-Levy Diana, mother of Rachelle SchubertEthel, mother of Marlena Taenzer

Mazal tov to • Debby Lewis who will be retiring from Anshe Emet Synagogue in Chicago at the end of June

2016.• Debbi Ballard on the marriage of her daughter Lauren to Jay Yarnold.• Gail Gordon Skall on the engagement of their daughter Aviva to Yoni Ron.• Arlyne Unger who has been granted an honorary doctorate (Doctor of Pedagogy, honoris causa)

by the Jewish Theological Seminary and Jewish Educators Assembly for her contributions and achievements in the field of Jewish Education.

• Conversations at the Well: Where Modern Life and Ancient Stories Meet by Roberta Becker is now available on Kindle through Amazon. Each of the eight short stories also contains an original piece of music which is in pdf format in the book.

• The following WCNers have had their compositions selected by Shalshelet’s Music Review Committee for the next Festival. They will be presented in concert and workshops, and then published in the Festival Songbook. Susan Colin, “Blessings.” Mary Feinsinger, “Mi Kamokha.” Susan Horowitz, “Rivers of Babylon.” Robin Anne Joseph, “Hari'u LAdonai.” Judith Silver, “Oseh Shalom,” “Angel Blessing,” Lisa Marcus Jones, “Ruth's Song,” Beth Styles, “Yehi Ratzon,” “U-ktov L'chayim.”

• Beth Hamon who is now offering her Judaica through her web site. Check it out here: http://www.beth-hamon-music.

• Cindy Freedman who presented chanting workshops in November at the first annual European Jewish Spirituality Kalah in Amsterdam, Netherlands and led Kabbalat Shabbat service there with 3 cantors from Germany.

• This past December the video of Sylvia Goldstein's Chanukah oratorio was aired on West Hartford Community Television twice during the week of Chanukah. Entitled Who Can Retell?, the production is meant for family entertainment, with narrators, singing, dancing, a candle-lighting ceremony and audience participation.

• Debbi Ballard on the birth of her grandson Jayden Asher to daughter Lauren and husband Jay Yarnold.

Thanks to Pat Rudden and Francyne Davis Jacobs for proofreading this newsletter.

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WCN 9715 Burdine Houston, TX 77096

Women Cantors’ Network Founded 1982http://womencantors.net

Jacqueline Breines PresidentDebby Lewis Executive VP Robbi Sherwin VP of Special Events Jinny Marsh VP of Communications Robin Sparr Treasurer Barbara Stambler Recording Secretary Francyne Davis Jacobs Corresponding Secretary Immediate Past President Geri Zeller Debbie Katchko-Gray Founding President Members at Large Marci Vitkus Tali Katz Meara Lebovitz Chana Karmann-Lente Website Manager Gail F. Nalven Newsletter Editor Donna Spencer Listserv Manager