who wear the it madame midasnebnewspapers.unl.edu/lccn/2010270500/1907-04-26/ed-1/... ·...
TRANSCRIPT
Women Who Wear Well.It l astonishing how groat a change a
lew year of married llfo often inakn Inthe appearance and disposition o( manywomen. The freshness, the chnrm, thotirllllance vanish like the bloom from
lach which Is rudely handled. Thematron is only a dim shadow, a faint echoof the charm In ii maiden. There are tworeasona for this changn, lynorance andnegloct Few young women appreciatetha shock to the system through theChung which comes with marrlags andmotherhood. Slany neglect to dual withthn unpleasant pelvic drains and weak-nesses which too often como with mar-riage and motherhood, not understandingthat this secret drain Is robbing the cheekof its freshness and tho form of Itsfalroesa.
As surely as the general health sufferssfhen there Is dermflffnraent of the healthof the delicate womarrtgorgans, so sorelywhrT""tHee organs tmNgstablished Inhealth Uierace amWjTTlvtOHe witness
CtbeTacllnrHMfrMcomemasa pearlyand
bpptnM m the use of Dr. Tierce's Fa-
vorite It makes weak wom-en strong and sick women well. Ingred-ients on label contains no alcohol orharmful habit -- forming drugs. Madewholly of those native, American, medic-inal roots most hlehly recommended byleading medical authorities of all thn sev-eral schools of practice for the cure ofwoman's peculiar ailments.
For nnrsing mothers.or for those hroken-dnw- nIn health by too frequent bearing of
children, also for tho expectant mothers,to prepare tho system for the coming ofoaby and making Its advent easy andAlmost painless, there la no medicine quiteno good as "Favorite Prescription. Itcan do no harm In any condition of thosystem. It Is a most potent Invigoratingtonic and strengthening nervine nicelyadapted to woman's delicate system by aphysician of large experience In the treat-ment of woman's peculiar ailments.
Dr. Pierce may be consulted by letter.free of charge. Address ). R. V. Pierce,Invalids' Hotel and Surgical Institute,Buffalo, N. Y.
The Canadian&Zt&l'A Woe lc ih
Besl WestThe testimony of tent of thousands during th
fast year is that th Canadian West Is theVstWest. Year by year the agricultural return!have tnersssed in volume and in value, and stillthe Canadian 4jotemmeut otters 160 acres free to
very bona fade settler.
Some 0! the AdvantagesThe phenomenal increase in railway mileage
snatn lines and branches has put almost everyportion of the country within easy reach ofchurches, schools, markets, cheap fuel and everyaaodern convenience.' Tha NINETV MILLION BUSHEL WHEATCROP of thia year means Sbo.ooo.ooo to thfarmers of Western Canada, apart from thresults of other grains and cattle.
For advic and intormatioa address thmperrnienaent ot immigration, Ottawa, Canada,r th autnsfiied Canadiaa Oorernment A sent.
W. D. Scott, Superintendent of Immlfration,Ottawa, Canada, or K. T. Holmes, ji Jackson.St., StrPaal, Minn, and J. M. MacLachlan, Boa
n, waierrown, do. uakota. AutDortsed UOintent Am sacs.
Please any whs ywa saw this 4i
Obere Instruction.Man of the House Verjna, I told yon
4o call me at 7 sharp this morning.Domestic I called ye as shalrp as I
could, norr, but I could n t wak ye.
"..CI.! TU. 1. . 1
der the Pure Food and Drugs Act, Is thetest remedy for constipation, e
and indigestion. It purine thaMood and cleanses the system.
.MAKING ARTIFICIAL. ICE CREAM.
tCottojsiaoeal Oil Uaed Instead of theOrdlnarr Inarredlente.
"When Prof. Stlllman of Stevens In-
stitute gave a dinner to two friends,;at which most of the viands were madeartificially by chemical means," writesLawrence Perry In the Technical Worldmagazine, "be had small Idea or thefurore hi efforts would produce. Butho has received hundreds of lettersasking how different dishes were pro-duced bo many that he has not hadtime to answer many of them.
"The chemical processes which heemployed were some, of them simpleand some quite complicated. To makevanilla Ice cream by artificial means,for Instance, the alchemist took sometriple refined cottonseed oil and placedIt In a centrifugal machine which re--
--rolved at a velocity of 3.000 revolutionsminute. A beautiful emulsion wae
.thereby produced, which was then frox-e- n,
chemically, of course. The flavorSftaa obtained by the addition of vanll- -
illn, glucln and nltrobenzoL They saythat tee cream composed as above la
old In many Southern States wherecottonseed oil is more plentiful andconsequently cheaper than milk orcream. It Is far from harmful, taatearood and doea not melt as quickly OJthe genuine Ice."
' Worao than an Inanlr."Did he offer you tbe 'nault o! a briber
sked tne new Alderman."Catch him offering anvhndr a trlht'
xdalmed the Alderman from the 'Steenthward. I he dirty tightwad wanted mlto do It lor nothing!"
APPENDICITIS.
3ot at AU Nocouarr to Operate laMaajr fa see.
Automobile) and Appendicitis scareawme people before they are hit
Appendicitis la often caused by toomuch starch in the bowels. Starch ishard to digest and clogs up the digestive machinery also tenda . to formcake La the cecum. (That's the blindpouch at entrance to tbe appendix.)
A N. IL girl bad appendicitis, butlived on milk for a whlle-r-tb- eu Orepe- -
Jvut and got well without an operation.
She aaya: "Five yeara ago while atwhool I suffered terribly with constipa-tion and indigestion." (Too muchatarch while bread, potatoes, etc.,which she did not digest.)
"Soon after I left acbool I had anattack of append Id tls and for thirteenweeks lived on milk and water. WhoaJ recovered enough to eat solid foodthere was nothing that would agreewith me, until a friend recommended
eSrape-Nut- a.
"When I began to eat Grape-Nat- s Iweighed 98 lb., but I soon grew to 115lbs. Tbe distress after eating left meentirety and now I aio like a new pea
(A little Grape-Nut- s dissolved In, hot--water or milk would have been muchbetter for this case than milk alone,, forhe starchy part of tbe wheat and bar-fe- y
is changed into a form of digestible sugar la making Grape-Nuts- .)
Name given by Postum Co., Battlem. Mich. Bead the little book. "The
Kmd to Wellvllle." In pkgs. --There's
MadameTty Ftrju
CHAPTER XXL (Continued.)On night," pursued Gaston, In a low,
concentrated voice, grasping Meddlechlp'wrist firmly, and looking at him with fieryeyes, "Braulard prepared a poison, a narcotic which was quick In IU action, ratalIn Its results. Ho goes to the house orAdele Blondet at half psst twelve o'clock-t-he hour now," he ssld, rspidly swing
ing round snd pointing to the clock onthe mantelpiece, which hsd Just struckthe half honr s "be found them at supper,"releasing Meddlechlp's wrist and crowingto the sofa "he sat opposite Kestrixe,as he does now." leaning forward andglaring st MedJlechlp, who shrsnk backIn his chair. "Adele, st the head 01 tnetable, laughs and smiles ; she looks st herold lover and sees murder In his face;she Is 111 and retires to. another room.Kestrike follows her to see whst Is thematter. Braulard Is left alone; ne produces a bottle and pours its contents Intoa cup of coffee, waiting for Adele. Kestrike returns, ssying Adele is lit; snewants a drink. He takes her the poison-
ed cup of coffee ; she drinks it and falls"with a long breath "asleep. Kestrike
returns to tbe room, asks Braulard toleave the house, Brsnlsrd refuses. Kes-trik- e
Is afraid, and would leave himself;be rises from the table ; so does Braulard"
here Gaston rose snd crossed to Meddle- -
chip, who was also on his feet "he goesto Kestrike. seizes his wrist, thus drsgahim to the next room, and there lies AdeleBlondet dead killed by the poiaon ofone Jover given her by the other and themurderers look at one another thus."
Meddlech ip wrenched his hand fromTandcloup's iron grip and falls backghastly white In his chair, with a stran-gled cry, while the Frenchman steod overhim with eyes gleaming with hatred.
"Kestrike," pursued Vandeloup, rapidly, "Is little known in Paris his nameIs an assumed one he leaves France before the police ran discover how he haspoisoned Adele Blondet, crosses to Eng-
land and returns to Australia, where heIs called Meddlechlp."
The man In the chair threw up hishands, as if to keep the other off, anduttered a stifled cry.
'lie then goes to China." went on Oas- -
ton, bending nesrer to the shrinking fig-
ure, "and returns a'ter twelve months,where he meets Octave Braulard yes, tbetwo murderers meet In Melbourne I Howcame Branlard here? Was It chance?No. Was It design? No. Was it Fate?Yes."
He hissed the words in Meddlechlp'sear, and the wretched man shrank awayfrom him again.
"Braulard." pursued Vandeloup, In acalmer tone, "also left the house of AdeleBlondet. She is fonnd dead; one of herlovers cannot be found; th other, Brau-lard, is accused of th crime; hs defiesthe police to prove It ; she has been poisoned. Bah I there is no trace. Braulardwill go free. Stop I who Is this man call-ed Prevol who appears? He is a fellowstudent of Braulard's, and knows the poi-
son. Braulard Is lost I Prevol examinesthe body, proves that poison has been giv-
en by whom? Braulard, and none other.He Is sentenced to death; but he Is sohandsome that Taris urges pardon. No ;
it Is not according to the law. Still,para his life? Tea. His life Is spared.
The galleys at Toulon? No. New Caledonia? Yes. II Is sent there. But IsBraulard a coward? No. Does he rest asa convict? No. He makes friends withanother convict; they steal a boat, and fly
the island ; they drift, and drift, tor daysand days ; the snn rises, the sun sets stillthey drift ; their food Is giving out, thewater in the barrel Is low I are they to dieef thirst and famine? No. The sky isred like blood the sun Is sinking; landU in tha distance they are saved 1 fall-ing on his knees ; "they are saved."
Meddlechlp, who had recovered himself,wiped his face with his handkcrhclef, andsneered with his white lips at the theat-rical way Gaston wss beavtng in.
"You know a secret, said Meddlechlp,nervously, "which Is dangerous to me;you want to sell it ; well, I will be thebuyer nam your price."
"Five hundred pounds," said Vsnde--
lonp, quietly."Is that all?" asked the other, with a
start of surprise ; "I was prepared for fivethousand."
'I am not exorbitant In my demands,"aaswered Vandeloup, smoothly; "and Ihave a scheme on hand by which I maymake a lot of money live hundred poundsIs sufficient to do what I want. If tbescheme succeeds I will be rich enough todo without any more money from you."
CHAPTER XXII.Whea Kitty left Mrs. Pulchnp'a real
dence she hsd no very definite Idea as towhat she wss going to do with herselfHer sole thought was to get as far awayfrom her former life as possible to disappear la the crowd and never to be heardot again. Poor little soul, she never fora moment dreamed that It was a case sfout of the frying pan into the fire, andthat th world at large might prove morcruel to her than andnloup.
She went Into town and wandered aboutlistlessly, not knowing where to go. tillnearly 12 o'clock, and tbe streets weregradually emptying tberoavlves of theircrowds. She knew these waa a cab startlug opposite the Town Hall which went toRichmond, and determined to go home.At the top ef tbe block, a party of vounamen in evening dress came round the cor-ner sieging. These were none other thanSarty and hie friend, rin for anv mischief. Brllthorp and BaVty wore walkingarm in arm.
"Hallo!" cried Bellthorn; "sirl Dretty r
KiCty tried to get away from thia crewbut they all closed round her, aud shewrung her hsnda In dewpair.
"Gentlemen 1" said a rich, rollln voice.whliB proceeded from a portly man whohad fust appeared en th scene, "I am astonlshed."
"Ohl" cried Kitty, "it's Mr. Wopple.""Th same," said th airy Theodore,
laying his band on his heart, "and you,my dear why, bless me," looking closely.v i u yon (in i meidmibtbi near, aear. 1 will b yourfrwad," said th aetar, emphatically, tak-to- t;
her arm and walking slowly down thea' reel.
Kitty told him bow she had left Balkrat, but suppressed the name of her husband, aa sh did not wsnt say blame toftall oa him. But all th rest she toldfreely, and bow en that n'ght sh hadleft the man who had wedded and thenrrsctically deserted her.
"Oa, vile human nature," said Wepples,H sonorous tee. "Where," he contin
Midast Mum
6)
ued, looking inqnlrlngly st the serenesky,, "where are the thunderbolts of heav-en that they fall not on aucb?"
Mr. Wopples told Kitty bo would tak"her borne to the fsmily, snd as they wereJust starting out on tear again, she couldcome with tbem.
"Bnt will Mrs. Wopples receive me?"asked Kitty, timidly.
"My dear," said the actor, gravely, "mywife is a good woman, and a mother her-self, so she can feel for a poor child likeyou. In future I will be your father;Mrs, Wopples, your mother, and you willhave ten brothers and sisters all star art-ists."
"How kind you are," sobbed Kitty,clinging trustfully to him as they wentslong.
"I only do nnto others ss I would bedone by," said Mr. Wopples, solemnly."Thst sentiment," continued the actor,taking off his hst, "wss uttered by Onewho will slwsys remain the sublimeat typeof perfect manhood the world hss everseen."
Kitty did not answer, and they walkedquickly along; and surely this one gooddeed more than compensated for the restof the actor's failings.
Vandeloup next morning went to theCity of Melbourne bank, and cashed Med-
dlechlp's check for' five hundred pounds,then, calling a hansom, he drove slongto tho Hibernian bank, where he had anaccount, and paid it in to his credit, re-
serving ten pounds for his Immediate use.Then he his hansom, snd wentslong to the office of a stock broker calledi'olglase.
Polglaze was a short, stout man, scrup-ulously dressed, with iron grsy hair stand-ing straight up, and a habit of droppingout his words one at a time, so that thelistener had to construct quite a littlehistory between in order to arrive at theirmeaning, and the connection they hadwith one another.
"Morning!" said Polglaze, letting thesalutation fly out of his mouth rapidly,and then closing it again in case any otherword might be waiting ready to pop outunbeknown to him.
"I want you to buy me some MagpieReef shares," said Vandeloup.
"Many?" dropped out of Polglase'smouth, and then it shut sguin with asnsp.
"Depends on the price," replied Vande-loup, with a ahrng; "I see in the papersthey are four shillings."
Mr. Polglaze took up his share book,and rapidly turned over the leaves foundwhat he wanted and nodded.
"Oh P said Vandeloup, making a rapidmental calculation, "then buy me twothousand five hundred. That will beabout five hundred pounds' worth. Yourcommission, I presume, will be three-pence ?"
"Sixpence," Interrupted the stockbroker.
Oh, I thought it was threepence,' 'answered Vandeloup, quietly ; "however,that does not make any difference to me.Your commission at that rate will betwelve pounds ten shillings?"
Polglaze nodded, and sat looking atVandeloup like' a atony mercantile sphinx.
If you will, then, buy me theseshares," said Vandeloup, rising and takingup his gloves snd hat, "when am I tocome along and see you?"
"Four," said Polglaze."Very well," said Vandeloup, quietly.
I'll give you a check for that amount.then. There's nothing more to be said, Ibelieve?" and he walked over to the door.
"Say," from Folglaze."Yes," replied Gaston, indolently,
swinging his stick to and fro."New?" inquired the stock broker."You mean to this sort ef thing?" said
Vandeloup, looking at him, and receivingnod in token of acquiescence, added,
entirely.""Risky, dropped from the Polglase
mouth."I never knew a gold mine that wasn't,"
retorted Vandeloup, dryly."Bad, in an assertive tone, from Pol
glaze.
"this particular mine, 1 suppose youmeanT said Uaston, with a yawn, "verylikely it Is. However, I am willing totake the rlxk. Good day! See you atfour," and with a careless nod M. Vandeloup lounged out of the office.
He walked along Collins street, met afew friends, and kept a lookout for Kitty,He, however, did not see her, but therwas a surprise in store for him, for turnlng round Into Hwanston street he cameacross Archie Mcintosh. Yes, there hewaa, with his grim, severe Scotch face,with the white frill round it, and Gastonsmiled ss he saw the old man, dressedrigid broadcloth.
"Ah, laddie," said Mclntoah, lrrltoi.lv."Have ys seen anything o' the girl thatrln away?" ,
Oh, Miss Marchurst!"' said Vandeloup, smoothly, ready with a lie at once"No, I'm sorry to say l'vs never set eyeson her."
"The mistress is Just crazy about her,"observed Mcintosh, querulously; "andshe's looking sll through th town to findthe poor wee thing.."
"I hop she will, ssld Vandeloup, whodevoutly hoped she wouldn't.
Vandeloup took Mclntoah to the cluband Introduced him all round as the manager ot the famons Pactolus. All theyoung men were wonderfully tskea upwith Archie and his plain speaking. Flnally hs left andeloup te ge down toMadam Midas at St. Kllda, and bearinga mesaag from th Frenchman that hewould call. ther the next day.
Archie having departed, Vandeloup gotthrough the rest ef the day as best becould, n met Mr. Wopples in the street,who told him hew he hsd found Kitty,quit unaware that th young man beforehim was th husband who had desertedher. Vandeloup was delighted to thinkthat Kitty had net mentioned hla name,and quit approved ot Mr. Wopplee' Intentloa t take the girl oa tour. Havingthus arranged far Kitty's future, Gsstonwent along to hla broker, and found thastute Paiglss hsd got him his shares.
"Going trp," ssld Polglase, ss he handed tha scrip te Vandeloup and got a chela exchange.
"Oh, Indeed!" said Vandeloup, withsmile. "I suppose my two friends havebegun their litrt gam already," hethonght, as he slipped ths scrip into hisbreast pocket.' "Information?" asked Polglase, as Vandelonp was going.
"Oh! yoo'd like te know whr I gotit." said M. Vandeloup, amiably. "Verysorry I east tall you ; but yea see, nty
aeat air, i am not a womai, and can keea secret." ...
Vandeloup walked out, and Polglaselooked sfter him with a puzzled look,then summed up his opinion In one weid.sharp. Incisive, snd to the point.
'".lever," ssld Folslsze. snd put thecheck In his safe.
"Bebo Is out of my way," thotieht Vandeloup with a smile; "I have a small for-tune In my pocket, and," he continued,boiiRhtfuIly, "Madnme Midas Is In Mel
bourne. I think now," said M. Vsndeloup, with s no ther smile, "that I haveconquered the blind goddess."
CHAPTER XXIII.Madame Midas hsd experienced pov
erty snd the coldness of friends, so wsscompletely disillusionized as to the disinterested motives ef the people who nowcame flocking sronnd her. She was verywealthy and determined to stop In Melbourne for a year, and then go home toEurope, so to this end she took a houset St. Kilda.Vandeloup called on Madame Midas the
day sfter she arrived, and Mrs. Villlerswas delighted to see him. Having an object In view, of course Gaston mnde him-self as charming as possible, and assistedMadame to arrange her house, told herabout the people who called on her, sir,made cynical remarks about tbem, all ofwhich amused Madame Midss mightily.She grew weary of the insne gabble andnarrow understandings of people, and Itwaa quite a relief for her to turn to Vandeloup, with a keen tongue and cleverbrains.
Vandeloup had prospered In his littleventure in the mining market, for theMagpie Reef shares ran up rapidly. Atelegram was phbllsbed from the managerstating a rich reef had been struck. Specimens of the vary richest kind were dis-
played in Melbourne, and the confidingpublic suddenly woke to the fact that agolden tide was flowing past their doors.1 hey rushed the share market, and In twoweeks the Magpie Reef-shar- es ran fromfour shillings to as many pounds. Vande-loup Intended to sell at one pound, butwhen he snw the rapid rise and heardevery one talking about this reef, he heldhis shares till they touched four pounds,then, quite satisfied with his profit, hesold out at once and pocketed nearly tenthousand pounds, so that he was providedfor tbe rest of his life.
Kitty meanwhile had become a greatfavorite with the Wopples" family, andthey mnde a wonderful pet of her. Ofcourse, being In Rome, she did as tha Romans did, and went on the stage as MissKathleen Wopples, being endowed withthe family name for dramatic reasons.The family were now on tour among thesmall towns of Victoria, and seemed tobe well known, as each member got a reception when he or she appeared on thestage.
(To be continued.)
LOTS OF WORK FOR THE LIVER.
Manufacturer, Seavensrer, Filter,Life Preserver and Closed Door.The business of the liver Is to manu
facture antidotes for poisons, snys San-derson's Magazine. It Is a renderingestablishment to which the little corpsesthat accumulate in the body are carried to be destroyed, just as Lu tbecities dead animals are gathered up bya scavenger and converted Into usefulthings.
All the corpuscles ef the body dieevery six weeks, Every second of ourlives something like 18,000,000 of thesered cells have to be disposed of and theliver does part of tho work of grindingthem up and working them over Intosomething, useful.
The red corpuscles have potash Intbem, which Is used for making bile.Tho bile Is a kind of lye for makingsonp In the small Intestines. Tlie-eoa-
like all good home-mad- e soaps, Is dis-infectant; it Is n splendid antisepticand germicide.
The coloring matter is carefullysaved out of these red cells, and sentbeck Into the body to be used for dyeing the hair, tinting the skin and paint-ing tho dark chambers of the eye wherethe photographing Is done.
If the liver does not do this work naefficiently ns It ought, these littlecorpses accumulate In the body. laother words, the body becomes a sepul- -
cher and we carry about with us deadthings that should have been discharged from the body through the bowels,the kidneys, the skin and the lungs,and should have returned to dust again.
The liver Is a closed door whichkeeps poisons out of the rest of thebody. Tbe kidneys, skin and lungs areopen doors to let the poisons escapefrom the body. When there comes sucha flood upon the liver It cannot keepthe door shut It Is forced open a littleway and lets the poisons through Intothe blood.
Then the blood Is not purified, theImpurities go through and the body becomes filled with them. The brain becomes confused, dull, stupid nnd thoroan feels bilious the poisons get Intothe muscles and he feels weary andworn out ; they get Into the nerves andhe has sciatica or lumbago; the nervecenters get irritable and inefficleut nndthere Is nervous exhaustion and per-haps melancholia. 1
All the food taken Into) the stomachIs filtered by tho liver before It Is absorbed. That is why one can, with npparent Impunity, take such thing astea and coffee, whisky, beer, tobacco,tc. All these Impurities are passed
through the liver before they get Intothe general circulation. If they shouldgo straight to the brain the drinkerwonld die shortly after taking his glassot wblsky.
When the liver Is plump and healthy,full of glycogen made from the bloed.It hna a wonderful faculty of dostrovlng poisons; but r starved liver can- -not do this. A dose of medicine takenon an empty stomach la much morepowerful In Its effects than a similardose taken when the stomach furnishesthe liver with material which It makesuse of to tight poisons.
Nothln' Doln.The Hobo Tlease, mister, will
jouse gimme er few pennies fer mestarvin' wife?
Old Bachelor Not me. Ia the firstplace I haven't got any Dentilee:tbe second place I have ne earthlyuse ror a starving wire and la the thirdplace 1 don t want a wife anyway.
I'n aa Oowa."I see that King Edward took
friendly tip on Pacific railway stocksand matte some money.
"That's all right. But I bepe thetime won't come when Ed will have tohypothecate the crown la order te savebia margins." Cleveland Plaut Dealer.
"He's nerfectlv wild over bin newauto." "Huh! You should nee himunder It" Milwaukee Sentinel.
The young man spoke bitterly : "Doyou take me for a fool 7" "Oh, George,"she said, "this Is so sudden." Mem-phis Journal,
Mrs. Nurlch.proudly Thnt clock onthe stairs Is more than two hundredyears old. Mrs. Blueblood CuttlDg- -Ah, of whom did you. buy It?
First MIlllonnlre-r-Yo- u were laid tipIn your house nil '.last week, weren'tyou? Second Millionaire Yes. "Sickness or Investigation comiultMe?"Life.
Brown Do you think the PanamaClimate Induces laziness? Tow-n-Does It? Why I took some bees downthere once and they got so Iniy theywouldn't sting.
Hodge What's old Scribbles dolnglHe looks poverty-stricke- Podge neIs writing a series of articles on "Howto Get Rich Without Capital." Cleve-land Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Trust Magnate (newly rich)I wnnt one of them octopus-shape- d
rooms for the library. Cynical Archi-tect So appropriate, dear mndnm.Baltimore American.
Burr Do you think the end of tbeworld will ever come? Dock Ithought It had this morning; my wifegot her new hat home nnd there wasn'ta thing wrong with It
The Agent If you have this machine, sir. you won't take anybody'sdust The Magnate Then I don'twnnt It I'm out for everybody'sdust. Cleveland Leader.
Algernon I aw have resolved toaw do something useful In the
world, doncher know. Miss DeStyleIndeed! Algernon Yaws. I am aw
learning to tie me own ties. ChicagoDnlly News.
"What class of people do you thinkhas been most benefited by the libra-ries you have founded?" ''I'm notsure," answered Mr. Dustln Stax."But I kind of suspect It's the archi-tects." Washington Star.
Teacher If coal Is $3 per ton. howmany tons could you get for $-- 0. Dis-
turbing IClcMiH'iit Three tons. TeacherThat's wrong. Disturbing ElementI know it Is, but they will do It
Just the same. Harvard Lampoon."I am a worthless thing!" exclaim-
ed the rejected and dejected youngman, despairingly. "Oh, no," repliedthe fair girl cheerfully. "Not worth-less. Your skeleton alone would sellfor twenty dollars." Somervllle Jour-nal.
"That was an awful break BImerlymade last night after he bad proposedto the rich Miss Anteek and been ac-
cepted." "What was it?" "Just aftershe had accepted him he asked if shegave trading stamps' CommercialProgress. ;
Surly Strong Gin me a nickel,missus? Missus I should think a big,strong man like you would be ashamedto ask for money. Surly Strong Iam, missus, but I ain't got der nerveto take It without askln. Phlladelphla Record.
"Dubiey bought a horse the otherrjny ." "i'es, and he was horrlbly stuck, wasn't he?" "Oh! you'veseen the horse then?" "No, but hetold me he was going to buy one from4a friend who Is in the business.'"Philadelphia Press.
Bibliophile (aghast) I beg yourpardon, madam, but that book your
little girl is playing with is an oldand exceedingly . rare first edition.Caller Oh. that's all right, Mr. Vlb-be- rt
It will amuse her Just as muchas If It were nice and new. ChicagoTribune.
"Did your bull terrier get a blueribbon at the show?" "Yes," "Ishould think you would hang it upIn a promlneut place." "No. You see,
this was a hair ribbon he snatchedfrom a little girl, and we had to pay
her father not to make any trouble."Cleveland Flaln Denier."Anything peculiar about these peo-nl- e
that have Just moved Into thehouse next door to you, Mrs. Crossway?" "No; there's nothing unusualabout them. They've borrowed a step,ladder and a tack-haninie- r, and turued their children loose In our backyard." Chicago Tribune.
Souio Odd Wills.One of the oddest documents of tht
will kind known was that of QueenAustrlglldn, consort of King Goutrumof Burgundy. Tho dying princess enJoined upon her husband to slay andbury In tho same grave with her thephysicians who hud attended her. Another w ill was that of a husband whoforbade his wife's marrying on pain ofhis returning to haunt her. This Is
quite different from thnt of a womanwho Instructed her executors to seekout "some nice, good, pretty girl" whowould make an affectionate secondwife to her spouse. It Is a fact Inter-esting In this connection thst the firstNapoleon actually bequeathed 10,000
franca to a fellow named Cantlllon,who bad been tried for attempting theassassination of the Duke of Welling,ton.
Her Head Was Hot.Lady Dorothy Nevill in her reml
nlsceuces 'tells this story ot the twoMisses Walpole, her cousins: "Ou oneoccaslou, wbeu both of the two werewell over' ninety, Mlaa Fanny, theyounger, who bad that day been ratherIII, only Joined her sister In the sittingroom Just before dinner. On her arrival downstairs the latter (Miss Charlotte by name) remarked: 'Fanny, Iam going to be 111. too. I feel so hotabout the head. It must be apoplexy.''Nothing of the sort!' exclaimed MissFanny, making a dash at her sister'sbead. 'Your cap'a ou fire, and I'm going to put it out' And so the bravaold thing did."
Those who are luvlted to sing at aparty, alway report havlug a good time.
REALTY BOOM IN OLD EGYPT.
Cairo Land Market Brisk Knonsafor Anr Occidental Town.
Egypt has a flrat-clns- s real estattboom In fuJI swing. It wuld not havebeen livelier In the days when Rameseathe Great was bulling tho statuary mar-ket that posterity might never lack forreproductions of his unlovely counte-nance. The' riches which the conquering armies of the legendary Sesostrtsbrought home from Asia could not havelubricated business In tbe Nile valleybetter than British Irrigation worksand the "pax Brltauulca" that peaceof Britain which still lands disturbedfor ages.
Look at Cairo, a city which was oldbefore London was founded. A yearngo last October the house used as tbeAmerican agency was sold for $125,000.The seller made $30,000 profit Thenext mouth the house was sold againfor IISO.COO. In the fall of 1900 tbeowner refused $250,000 for the sameproperty. That Is a rise of 100 percent In a single yenr, which Is quitsenough for the most enthusiastic boomtown of the newest country where any-one will give a quarter of a milliondollars for a house and lot
Land in the business district of Cairowhich sold for about $4 a square footn year ago Is worth $15 now. Otherproperty more desirable has risen form$8 a square foot to $23, which meous$3,500 a foot for frontage 140 feet deep.And the sphinx looks across the desertat this scene of speculation such asSeattle might boast of times of realestate excitement. The pyramids areIn plain sight from Cairo honse tops.It's all something like getting a full-fledg-
Amerlenn boom 1n action on thebanks of tho Styx. One would be aslikely to think of starring Buddha Invaudeville.
Egyptian frlsklliess Is not confinedto Cairo by any moans. It extends upnnd down and across the deltaot the Nile. Everywhere the shopsof tho goldsmiths are crowdedwith customers who want ornaments made out of the coin theyhave received for their cotton nnd othercrops. The whole country is ridinga flood tide of prosperity.
In the light of such conditions in theland of tlto I'haroahs It is not surpris-ing that great things are predictedfor Bagdad or. that Peking shows signsof following Tokyo out of the sleepypast Into tho niuch-allv- e present ofmodern civilization. Cleveland Leader.
James Russell Lowell once related anIncident of his residence as minister toMadrid, to illustrate the matter of dip-
lomatic dress and gratuities. The Hon.John W. Foster, who was Secretary ol
State In Harrison's Cabinet, tells thstory as Mr. Ixwell told It to him, In
his recently published "The Practice oDiplomacy." On the occaslou of a roynl fete day Mr. Lowell repaired to thipalace, attired In plain evening dressas wns the custom of American ministers at such ceremonies. The carrlagtof the minister from one of the repub-lics of Central America preceded his.
Owing to the poverty of its treasury,that republic had accepted the service!as its represenative of a retired Span-ish merchant, who performed gratultously the light duties of his post
of Its social privileges. On suetoccasions the royal stairway, famouithroughout Europe for Its architecturalbeauty, the pride of the Spaniards, wailined on each side at every step withthe royal guards in gala uniform, andat ench of severol landings there waistationed a giant halberdier holding ahuge medieval battle-ax- .
As Mr. Lowell ascendde the stairway,the Central American minister, gor-geously appareled in a brilliantly
uniform, with Jeweledsword, wns saluted by the magnificenthalberdier with a heavy whack of thbattle-a- x on the marble pavement,which resounded through tho arches.
As Mr. Lowell passed the landings hreceived no attention, ns he bore no In-
signia Indicating his oillce. As fromone landing to another he beard theechoes of the salutes to his colleaguepreceding hlru, his patriotic blood be-
gan to boll, nnd at tho last landing headdressed the halberdier In good Span-ish:
"Do you know who I am?''The soldier replied that he did not."Well," said Mr. Lowell, "I am the
minister plenipotentiary of the UnitedStates of America, the greatest nationon tho earth, nnd If you don't whnckthe next time I pass you, I will forget you at Christmas."
Late Drflnttlone."Be careful, here comes a grafter,'
said one ns they saw him enter the cafeand glance around over the crowd as IfIn search of somelody he knew.
"He's not a grafter," said another."He'a a piker."
"What's the difference?" asked thefirst.
"A grafter Is a man who borrowsmoney," was the answer, "and neverpays It back, but a piker is a runglower on the ladder. He has given upall hope of getting more money, buthe'll wait around till you buy him adrltik, or he'll take your box of cigar-ettes when you are not looking andanpty half of thein Into bis pocket"
Women on Hsuiss Railway.The number of women employed ot
the RusHlan railways Is Increasing.According to the latest official returnsthere nre now working on the 25 Russian state railways no fewer than 32,-00- 0
women as gatekeeiera, clerks, telegraphists, etc. Tbe average wage varies from 130 te 135 rubles yearly orfrom $05 to $70. Tbe extremes arevery great Thus, the women clerks re-
ceive on an average from 450 rubles to400 rubles, or about $230, while thewonieu attendants at stations are paidonly 40 rubles, or about $19.50 a year,In addltiou to free lodging and a fewextras.
We all have different Ideas, A billcollector's Idea of a perfect gentlemaaIs one who watta tor the bill collector.Instead of sending In bis check.
The Evolution ofHousehold Remedies.
The modern patent medicine busi-
ness U the natural outgrowth of the'old-ti- household remedies.
In the early history of this country,EVERY FAMILY HAD ITS HOME-MADE MEDICINES. Herb teas,bitters, laxative and tonics,were to befonnd In almost every house, com-
pounded by the housewife, sometimesassisted by the apothecary or thefamily doctor. Such remedies aspicra, which was aloes and quassia,dissolved in apple brandy. Some-
times a hop tonic, made of whiskey,hops and bitter barks. A score ormere of popular, home-mad- e remedieswere thus compounded, the formulaefor which were passed along fromhouse to house, sometimes written,sometimes verbally communicated.
The patent medicine business is anatural outgrowth from thia whole-some, old-ti- custom. In the begin-ning, some enterprising doctor, impressed by the usefulness of one ofthese home-ma- de remedies, wouldtake it up, improve it in many ways,manufacture It on a large scale, advertise it mainly through almanacsfor the home, and thus it would be-
come used over a large area. LAT-TERL- Y
THE HOUSEHOLDREMEDY BUSINESS TOOK AMORE EXACT AND SCIENTIFICFORM.
Peruna was originally one of theseold-tim- e remedies. It waa used bythe Mennonites, of Pennsylvania,before it was offered to the public forsale. Dr. Hartman, THE ORIGINALCOMPOUNDER OF PERUNA, Is ofMennonite origin. First, he pre-scribed It for his neighbors and hispatients. The sale of it increased,and at last he established a manufactory and furnished it to thegeneral drug trade.
Peruna is useful In a great manyclimatic ailments. Buch as coughs,colds, sore throat, bronchitis andcatarrhal diseases generally.THOUSANDS OF FAMILIES HAVELEARNED THE USE OF PERUNAand its value in the treatment ofthese ailments. They have learnedto trust and believe in Dr. Hartman'aJudgment, and to rely on his remedy,Peruna.
The Poi and tho Grape.Every schoolboy knows that the fa-
ble of the fox and the sour grapes liInaccurate from a natural history pointof view, says a London newspaper,and, as usual, every schoolboy liwrong. An eminent Oxford professoion hearing the point discussed the oth-
er day actually brought some grapeiand then went to the zoo, where hitried them on a fox, who ate thengreedily I
. iLlfe-SaTlB- sr Service.
In perhaps no other country is thelife-savin- g service as proficient as inthe United States.
The sytem was first established In'1871, and there are at present 277
life-savi- stations supported by thegovernment 192 of which are on theAtlantic coast 68 on the Great Lakes,1(1 on the Pacific const, and one at thefalls of the Ohio River near Louisville.
There were only Hi :." disasters alongthe coasts during the year ending June30, 1905, and out of 4.08D persons in-
volved only twenty-seve- n were lost
Where He Kicellea.Church What degree did your sot-ge-t
at college? s,tGotham S. S. ."Never. heard of such a degree.""Oh, yes you have. Short stop."- -.
Tonkers Statesman.
DON'T GRUMBLE AT TRIFLES.
rwtotr-S- Ti Bushel Wheat aalForty-H- vo Bnahel Onto Pa Aaa--e
Ari la Western Caaada,Saltcoats, Sask., Dec. 8, 1000.
To the Editor Dear Sir:I willingly give you the result of my '
four and a half years' experience Intbe District ot Saltcoats.
Previous to coming here I farmed InBaldwin, St Croix County, Wis., andas I have heard a great deal about theCanadian Northwest, I decided to takea trip there and see the country formyself. I wss so impressed with tberichness of the soil that I bought halfa section of land about five miles fromtbe town ot Saltcoats. I moved on totbe land the following June, and thatyear I broke 90 acres, which I crop-ped lu 1904, and had 3J bushels wheatper acre. In 1905, with an acreage of100 acres, I had 24 bushels wheat and35 bushela of oata ier acre. In 1900,with 176 acres under crop, I bad 25buabela wheat and 45 bushels of oatsper acre.
From the above mebtloned yieldsyou can readily understand that I amvery well pleased with the CanadianWest Of course, I have bad to workhard, but I don't mind that when I getsuch a good return for my labor.
To any one thinking about coming tothis country I can truthfully say thatIf they are prepared to work and notgrumble at trifles, they are bound toget on. ' Some things I would like dif-ferent, but take the country all round,I don't know where to go to get a bet-e- r.
Yours truly,(Signed) O. R. OLSON.
Write to any Canadian governmentagent for literature and full