when girls attack

8/26/14 3:05 PMWhen Girls Attack -

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August 26, 2014

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When Girls AttackAUGUST 25, 2014 BY TALISA 8 COMMENTS

How to let the gentleman inside you shinethrough in times that may make you feel like

being anything but.

She may scream, punch, take advantage or just quietly manipulate you.

The stereotype may be used against you by being told to provide or take care of needs; making you feel guilty,

ashamed and less of a manbut please dont feel this way.

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We are all influenced by those aroundus.

Often bad behavior can gainmomentum with others and you needto be able to hold strong to yourmature approach even when it is notvisible to others, especially then, keepstrong.

It may have nothing to do with you or maybe you did do something to provoke; either way how do you handle

the attack?

If the attack on you is a once-off behavior there may be something deeper going on resulting in this. In this

instance it might be best to leave the situation in the heat of the moment and try coming back at a calmer time

to talk it outthis conversation can be started by simply asking how everything is going.

However, if an inappropriate behavior is continually received you have to handle it. We are adults and whilst

we dont always act our best, mature conversations when things are not quite right is the outcome we need to

strive for, whether it is in the workplace, home or a social setting.

Manipulative or snide comment behavior needs to be confronted with a calm approach. Find an appropriate

setting, maybe invite the other out for a coffee or the like, and simply bring up the behavior, how it isnt

acceptable and ask how can we work this out? This approach, whilst often difficult is one of the best

deflators.

Unfortunately sometimes the other

party isnt willing to move towards

a mature attitude. In that instance it

is best to remove yourself from this

association as much as possible when you have made reasonable attempts to work it out. If someone doesnt

have your best interest at heart than it isnt healthy to continue to let him or her be an influence in your life, as

we are all influenced by those around us.

And this is hard, walking away always is because there were good reasons you walked into it. But that is part

of being a good man, knowing when to walk away at a mature time, not letting it get to a point that grinds you

down, as this is when regrettable behaviors come out.

Remain calm, take moments to

keep you together and mentally

prepare yourself for these hard

talks. As even when the mud is

slung, you need to be prepared to

be the one to show compassions,

care and maturity.

Often bad behavior can gain

momentum with others and you

need to be able to hold strong to your mature approach even when it is not visible to others, especially then,

keep strong.

But in your humanness, if you do falter in this you need to acknowledge it. Apologies are in order no matter

hard you may find them. You need to acknowledge when your behavior isnt at its best, confirm you know this

and are working on it, and try to explore the trigger so both parties can better understand and prevent this next

time.

There is such strength in acknowledgment and acceptance, this paves the way for growth; it almost always

ensures it.

Dont starve the world of your growth and the gentleman inside youdont run or fight back from situations

where possible. We dont need any more immaturity, we need wisdom, and a gentle touch, and if need be, we

need to move on from things that may no longer serve us.

Photo:Flickr/Sean Mollin

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FILED UNDER: ADVICE & CONFESSIONS TAGGED WITH: ADULT RELATIONSHIP, ARGUE,

ARGUMENT, DATING, FIGHT, MANIPULATE, RELATIONSHIP, SCREAM, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, WOMEN

About TaLisaTaLisa is the author of blog SenseOfYou.com, where she shares her articles on everyday

experiences, minimalism, and on the relationships we have with ourselves and others. She

adores all people and is fascinated in the many versions of relationships and constantly

explores what makes them special for the people involved. TaLisa is inspired to share and challenge the

facets of our human connections in her novels which are well underway. You can also follow Sense of You on

Facebook.

Comments

Amy Glass says:August 25, 2014 at 8:33 pm

Im sorry but if she is punching you, she is a violent douchebag and needs to be dropped like a hot

potato after you call the police on her. Violence is never okay and no man should put up with it just

because its coming from a woman!

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Reply

Eagle35 says:August 25, 2014 at 9:43 pm

I have to add to what Amy Glass said.

OP, youre essentially telling a male on the receiving end of violence from a woman to remain calm and

think it through.

This translates into: Become a punching bag.

How does a man remain calm and assess the situation while hes getting pummeled left and right by fists

and scratched like a scratching post by finger-nails? Heck, if hes getting his testicles squeezed or kicked?

And what if it escalates beyond? Where the woman involves frying pans, rolling pins, knives, baseball

bats, and even a gun?

I think remaining calm and considerate at that point is no longer feasible. A woman steps beyond

boundaries where a life is at stake, the victim has the right to defend himself by any means necessary. If

that involves physical retaliation, then well desperate times call for desperate measures as they say.

We shouldnt be stealing an individuals ability to defend himself and restrict him to simply walking away

and calling the police. There will be situations where those arent an option. Police also dont magically

appear at the touch of a button as well. Whats the victim going to do while waiting for the police to arrive

and the woman has him fearing for his safety?

Reply

8ball says:August 25, 2014 at 10:39 pm

This article makes no sense and is appearing to tell me to, essentially, sit down and take whatever abuse

she throws at you because its the mature gentlemanly thing to do.

Im going to assume theres a miscommunication going on, and will hope that the author will step in and

clarify it.

Reply

OirishM says:August 26, 2014 at 5:50 am

What, GMP?!

Come on, lets see you run the gender swapped version of this. I dare you.

Reply

FrankS says:August 26, 2014 at 9:49 am

I cant believe what I am reading here. Do you know see how dangerous it is to tell me merely to put up

with an abusive female partner? Would you say the same thing to a woman who had an abusive male

partner? No thought not.

Reply

FrankS says:August 26, 2014 at 9:49 am

relationship is so much easier when you employ even a

few of these twelve phrases.

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Reply

low status male says:August 26, 2014 at 10:35 am

what? This is simply apologizing for violent women.

No one should be a punching bag

The first time she hits you its DV

The second time, its your fault for staying in a violent relationship

Chivalry needs to die.

Reply

Wes Carr says:August 26, 2014 at 11:05 am

Are you serious?

Reply

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