What To Look Out ForWhat To Look Out For

• In Your WritingIn Your Writing• This Week’s FormThis Week’s Form

• This Week’s ThemeThis Week’s Theme

3 Things to Think About in Your 3 Things to Think About in Your WritingWriting

““Show Don’t Tell”Show Don’t Tell”

Abstract VS Concrete Abstract VS Concrete

Everything in a poem MUST do something!Everything in a poem MUST do something!

““Show Don’t Tell”Show Don’t Tell”Dim Lady Dim Lady by Harryette Mullenby Harryette Mullen My honeybunch’s peepers are nothing like neon. Today’s spe-My honeybunch’s peepers are nothing like neon. Today’s spe-cial at Red Lobster is redder than her kisser. If Liquid Paper iscial at Red Lobster is redder than her kisser. If Liquid Paper iswhite, her racks are institutional beige. If her mop were Slinkys,white, her racks are institutional beige. If her mop were Slinkys,dishwater Slinkys would grow on her noggin. I have seen table-dishwater Slinkys would grow on her noggin. I have seen table-cloths in Shakey’s Pizza Parlors, red and white, but no such pic-cloths in Shakey’s Pizza Parlors, red and white, but no such pic-nic colors do I see in her mug. And in some minty-fresh mouth-nic colors do I see in her mug. And in some minty-fresh mouth-washes there is more sweetness than in the garlic breeze mywashes there is more sweetness than in the garlic breeze mymain squeeze wheezes. I love to hear her rap, yet I’m aware thatmain squeeze wheezes. I love to hear her rap, yet I’m aware thatMuzak has a hipper beat. I don’t know any Marilyn Monroes.Muzak has a hipper beat. I don’t know any Marilyn Monroes.My ball and chain is plain from head to toe. And yet, by gosh,My ball and chain is plain from head to toe. And yet, by gosh,my scrumptious Twinkie has as much sex appeal for me as any my scrumptious Twinkie has as much sex appeal for me as any lanky model or platinum movie idol who’s hyped beyond belief.lanky model or platinum movie idol who’s hyped beyond belief.

““SDT continued”SDT continued” ““Show, don't tell” is an instruction to writers to Show, don't tell” is an instruction to writers to

write in a manner that allows the reader to write in a manner that allows the reader to experienceexperience the story or poem. the story or poem.

Showing is done through:Showing is done through: demonstrating a character’s actions, words, demonstrating a character’s actions, words,

thoughts, senses, and feelingsthoughts, senses, and feelings describing scenes, events, actions, characters, etc. describing scenes, events, actions, characters, etc.

Telling is done through the narrator's Telling is done through the narrator's exposition, summarization, and simple exposition, summarization, and simple description. description.

Telling: Charlie Brown fell madly in love with Telling: Charlie Brown fell madly in love with the little red-head girl.the little red-head girl.

Showing: Charlie Brown’s heart beat raced as Showing: Charlie Brown’s heart beat raced as the little red-head passed him by. She dropped the little red-head passed him by. She dropped her pencil by his feet as she entered the class. her pencil by his feet as she entered the class.

He picked it up with a sigh and smiled.He picked it up with a sigh and smiled.

Original Example Time!Original Example Time!

Abstract VS ConcreteAbstract VS Concrete

Abstract: “Abstract: “Withdrawn or separatedWithdrawn or separated from matter, from from matter, from material embodiment, from practice, or from material embodiment, from practice, or from particular examples.” – OED (emphasis added)particular examples.” – OED (emphasis added)

Concrete: “Hence, generally, Concrete: “Hence, generally, combined with, or combined with, or embodiedembodied in matter, actual practice, or a particular in matter, actual practice, or a particular example; existing in a material form or as an actual example; existing in a material form or as an actual reality, or pertaining to that which so exists.” – OED reality, or pertaining to that which so exists.” – OED (emphasis added)(emphasis added)

What does this have to do with writing?What does this have to do with writing???? O-o ?????? O-o ???

A VS C continuedA VS C continued

EVERYTHING!EVERYTHING!

This is very close to the difference between show and tell. This is very close to the difference between show and tell. Abstracts, in poetry (and prose) tend to be intangible human Abstracts, in poetry (and prose) tend to be intangible human

ideas for states of being. They are NOT the actual act of being. ideas for states of being. They are NOT the actual act of being. In this way, abstracts tell the reader something, instead of In this way, abstracts tell the reader something, instead of

showing it. showing it. For example: love, freedom, happiness, sadness, divinity, For example: love, freedom, happiness, sadness, divinity,

holy, evil, “metaphorical darkness,” hatred, indifference, holy, evil, “metaphorical darkness,” hatred, indifference, acceptance, etc.acceptance, etc.

Can you name some more that will fit into this category? Can you name some more that will fit into this category?

A VS C continuedA VS C continued A common counter-argument to this is: “Well, I can A common counter-argument to this is: “Well, I can

bebe sad and that’s a state of being. So how is that an sad and that’s a state of being. So how is that an abstraction?”abstraction?”

To simply put it, it is (fortunately) rare to find To simply put it, it is (fortunately) rare to find someone who ONLY feels sad when they say they are someone who ONLY feels sad when they say they are sad. sad. If you meet someone like this (who can only feel one If you meet someone like this (who can only feel one

emotion at a time) they are suffering from the dreaded emotion at a time) they are suffering from the dreaded Tinkerbell Syndrome! Tinkerbell Syndrome!

Such an individual should seek professional help at once!Such an individual should seek professional help at once! This is another point about abstractions: they tend This is another point about abstractions: they tend

over simplify more complex and nuance facts of life. over simplify more complex and nuance facts of life.

A VS C continuedA VS C continued

This does not mean abstracts are forbidden!This does not mean abstracts are forbidden! It does mean, however, that mentioning them It does mean, however, that mentioning them

explicitly in poetry and prose tends to leave the writer explicitly in poetry and prose tends to leave the writer with the burden of proof.with the burden of proof.

Prove/Show how Billy Bob loves Mary Jane. Prove/Show how Billy Bob loves Mary Jane. Prove/Show that the sun represents freedomProve/Show that the sun represents freedom

and so on and so onand so on and so on To do this, you must ground your written world and To do this, you must ground your written world and

thoughts in the tangible and concrete. thoughts in the tangible and concrete.

ConcreteConcrete

Words that are concrete usually, but not always, come Words that are concrete usually, but not always, come in two categories: verbs and nouns.in two categories: verbs and nouns. Verbs: to run, to swim, to sing, to dance, to fly, to step, to Verbs: to run, to swim, to sing, to dance, to fly, to step, to

throw, to hit, to harm, to break, to build, to restore, to heal, throw, to hit, to harm, to break, to build, to restore, to heal, etc. etc. etc.etc. etc. etc.

Nouns: Man, Woman, Child, horse, dog, cat, mouse, house, Nouns: Man, Woman, Child, horse, dog, cat, mouse, house, farm, chair, bear, phone, computer, printer, umbrella, bed, farm, chair, bear, phone, computer, printer, umbrella, bed, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

Can you think of any more? Can you think of any more? Do you see what separates these words from the abstract Do you see what separates these words from the abstract

examples?examples?

Concrete 2.0Concrete 2.0 The wonderful thing about concrete nouns and verbs is that The wonderful thing about concrete nouns and verbs is that

they give you an actual moment, experience, and state of being they give you an actual moment, experience, and state of being that everyone physically can related to. that everyone physically can related to.

Done properly, the use of concrete words will enable the Done properly, the use of concrete words will enable the reader to experience the abstract ideas/thoughts you wish to reader to experience the abstract ideas/thoughts you wish to demonstrate. demonstrate.

By creating an experience, you create visceral reactions in the By creating an experience, you create visceral reactions in the reader that stay with them long after they finish reading your reader that stay with them long after they finish reading your work. work.

Think about your favorite book or scene from a book and what Think about your favorite book or scene from a book and what you gained from it. How did the writer create an experience you gained from it. How did the writer create an experience for you? What words do you remember, that stand out to you for you? What words do you remember, that stand out to you the most? the most?

A Word of CautionA Word of Caution

Before I continue, I must tell you that none of what I Before I continue, I must tell you that none of what I am telling you is set in stone and/or easy to do. am telling you is set in stone and/or easy to do. Experience writers have always struggled with Experience writers have always struggled with “show, don’t tell” simply because of the nature of our “show, don’t tell” simply because of the nature of our craft: writing will always be a form of telling. craft: writing will always be a form of telling.

Most (if not all) of this is to be used as guide-lines in Most (if not all) of this is to be used as guide-lines in your own writing. Advice passed down to me and your own writing. Advice passed down to me and which I know pass on to you. Use as you will. which I know pass on to you. Use as you will.

With that said, let’s continue!With that said, let’s continue!

Everything in a poem MUST do Everything in a poem MUST do something!something!

This bit of advice was given to me by This bit of advice was given to me by Professor John Campion of the English Professor John Campion of the English Department.Department.

He specializes in poetry and teaches a class in He specializes in poetry and teaches a class in creative writing each semester.creative writing each semester.

This advice, however, can apply to all forms of This advice, however, can apply to all forms of writing (from essays and assignments, to text writing (from essays and assignments, to text messages and blogs).messages and blogs).

What does it mean?What does it mean?

““Everything in a poem must do something.”Everything in a poem must do something.” Word choice must have a purposeWord choice must have a purpose Syntax must have a purposeSyntax must have a purpose Formatting must have a purposeFormatting must have a purpose Images, symbols, character, etc must have a Images, symbols, character, etc must have a

purposepurpose Everything you do and write must have a purposeEverything you do and write must have a purpose If you don’t know why you are doing something in If you don’t know why you are doing something in

a poem, don’t do it!a poem, don’t do it!

This is often called “economy of words” in English This is often called “economy of words” in English classes, but here this bit of advice seems more classes, but here this bit of advice seems more complex. Why is this?complex. Why is this?

Can you think of reasons for this, within poetry?Can you think of reasons for this, within poetry? Is it possible to do something simply because you like Is it possible to do something simply because you like

the effects?the effects? Should you be concerned about this when writing Should you be concerned about this when writing

your first draftyour first draft How do you think you can make everything in a How do you think you can make everything in a

poem do something? What do you take this advice as poem do something? What do you take this advice as saying? saying?

Discussion QuestionsDiscussion Questions

This Week’s Form/Homework:This Week’s Form/Homework:

Short-lined Verse:Short-lined Verse:

1 full page of verse, following the advice/guidelines 1 full page of verse, following the advice/guidelines given to you todaygiven to you today

Each line must not exceed 10 syllables (5 metrical feet). Each line must not exceed 10 syllables (5 metrical feet). One word lines are allowed. One word lines are allowed.

Purpose of assignment: to practice the economy of Purpose of assignment: to practice the economy of written language.written language.

Essentially free verse poem (may also utilize any forms Essentially free verse poem (may also utilize any forms covered in class or that you happen to know).covered in class or that you happen to know).

This Week’s Theme:This Week’s Theme:

Childhood, your imaginary world, Childhood, your imaginary world, and your real home.and your real home.