What is the source of difficulties for the parents?So return to our questions, how is it that two people who possess a capacity to love, who have emerged from families who care about each other; who have a three year old son- a treasure; worshipped by them and loved by those who meet him; are having such difficulties as parents?One response (there are others) suggests that when one possesses a precious someone in his life and knows it, one is immediately seized by the thought that something could happen to him. A frightening new danger emerges. This is known as the "fear of loss". I think that this is what has engulfed Father and Mather. This fear has attached itself to all the other fears that have plagued their lives over the years since they left their homelands. I suggest that this issue is the major stumbling block for these parents in respect to their cherished son. What is feared is not a vague sense of loss but an immediate looming fear that the other parent will take this Child away from them. The stronger the one parent's love for this son, the more intense the fear that the other parent will prevail. How can one prevent such a catastrophe from happening? A means of defense presents itself. Each parent must do whatever he can to depict the other as inept, incapable, incompetent , etc. of succeeding as a parent. The end result of this mode of thinking is that any attempt to co-operate becomes impossible. This fear was not voiced by either of the parents but at some level, I feel strongly that if is operating. This fear needs to be brought into awareness by putting it into words and looking at the consequences. These feelings are understandable, very human and very frightening. Father is struggling hard to hold his family together in this ever changing new world. Mather wants desperately to start her family with Anthony and baby Alexia and maybe more children.Care este sursa dificultilor pentru prini?ntorcndu-ne la ntrebrile noastre, cum este posibil ca dou persoane care posed capacitatea de a iubi, care au aparut din familii ce in una la alta; care au un fiu n vrst de 3 ani o comoar; venerat de ei i iubit de cei ce l-au ntlnit; au att de multe dificulti ca i prini? Un rspuns (printre altele) sugereaz faptul c atunci cnd cineva are pe cineva preios n viaa sa i contientizeaz lucrul acesta este imediat nfricoat de gndul c i s-a putea ntmpla ceva acelei persoane. Apare un nou pericol infricotor. Acesta este cunoscut ca i frica de a pierde. Cred c acest lucru este ceea ce i nfricoeaz pe Tat i Mam. Aceasta fric s-a alturat celorlalte frici ce le-au invadat vieile de-a lungul anilor petrecui departe de locurile natale. Bnuiesc c aceast problem reprezint principala piedic a prinilor n ceea ce l privete pe iubitul lor fiu. Ceea ce este de temut nu este acest sens abstract al pierderii ci o iminent fric de a nu i fi luat Fiul de ctre cellalt printe. Cu ct este mai intens iubirea unui printe pentru copil, cu att mai mare este frica de a nu se impune cellalt printe. Cum poate cineva preveni aceast catastrof? O metod de aprare este reprezentat de el nsui. Fiecare printe trebuie s fac tot ceea ce i st n putin pentru a-l reprezenta pe cellalt ca unul inept, incapabil, incompentent etc cu scopul de a reui ca printe. Rezultatul acestui mod de gndire este acela c orice ncercare de cooperare devine imposibil. Aceast fric nu a fost exprimat de niciunul dintre prini dar sunt curios dac funcioneaz. Aceast fric trebuie adus la cunotin prin punerea ei n aplicare, privind apoi consecinele. Aceste sentimente sunt de neles, umane si nspimnttoare. Tatl se zbate s in familia unit n aceast lume nou mereu n schimbare. Mather dorete s ntemeieze o familie alaturi de Anthony, bebelua Alexia i probabil de mai muli copii.