wellness be a thriver! · 2016. 6. 8. · • a new determination to defi ne beauty on your terms....

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Summer 2016 - Volume 11, Issue 2

STRENGTH IN UNITY

MY HEROES,MY MILAGROS

PAIN: THE UNWANTED GIFT

THE PROBLEM WITH MONEY

A MOM OF MANY HATS

YOUR NEW MONEY

PAGE 46

“Thrivers are nothing short of amazing.

Their beauty holds no bounds.”

– JAN PING

Family History.Sometimes we get so caught up in the here and now that we forget the significance of our past. Your family history of cancer is important, and can empower you to take charge of your future.

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JOIN US ON THE 11TH ANNUAL2017 BCW THRIVERS CRUISE!

27

Volume 11 : Issue 2

SubscribeSee page 22 or go to www.breastcancerwellness.org

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Copyright 2016 by Breast Cancer Wellness Magazine. All rights reserved. Breast Cancer Wellness Magazine is published four times annually for world-wide distribution. While e� orts have been made to authenticate all claims and guarantees o� ered by advertisers in this magazine, we cannot assume liability for any products or services advertised herein. The publisher reserves the right to accept or reject any advertising or editorial material. All advertisements created by the publisher are not considered a word made for hire and the publisher retains the copyright to all advertisements created by the publisher for the advertiser. The advertisements may not be reproduced without written permission of the publisher.

SUMMER 2016

MORE THAN A MAGAZINEWE‘RE A MISSIONCONTENTS

GROW

NOURISH

8 Pain: The Unwanted Gift12 The Problem with Money

16 Herbal Defense from Traditional Chinese Medicine

RENEW20 The Thriving Caregiver24 2016 BCW Thrivers Cruise28 Beauti� y Your Life

// BCW ONLINE BREASTCANCERWELLNESS.COM

CONNECT42 Pink Pages Directory

INSPIRE32 Where There is Strength, There is Unity36 My Heroes, My Milagros38 A Mom of Many Hats

KEEP IN TOUCH Join us on Scan the QR code with your smart phone to be instantly connected!

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Live in the day, not yesterday, not tomorrow, but in the best of today.

“

“ — BEVERLY VOTE

IT‘S YOUR JOURNEYEDITOR‘s LETTER

Dear friends,For a moment, imagine that you and your best friend are sitting on a patio this summer and having a

safe, candid discussion about breast cancer. Because you know you are safe to honestly discuss your fears about everything including dying, you sheepishly open up your concerns that your family and your

workplace do not always understand what is going on in your life, and that you have given up on having a normal life again. Because of this safe bubble to discuss your darkest, most haunting fears, you don’t immediately realize that you are crying, however your best friend sees the anguish but sits quietly and listens with all of her heart.

You discuss your pain and fears about what your loved ones are going through because of your diagnosis, and how society talks about research and more research yet you have no idea if or when a “cure” will be found in your lifetime. You begin to feel your body tighten up as you feel your anguish about money take over your thoughts, how you are angry that no one will see you as beautiful again and that you had so many hopes and dreams for your future. You cry out that you are tired of being tired.

The tears turn into sobs as you pour out your anguish, knowing that you are no longer being judged or ridiculed for being afraid or for expressing your raw honest emotions about what breast cancer has taken from you.

Through the sobs, you take a deep breath, and you begin to feel immense relief that you have been able to talk so freely for the fi rst time in a protected zone, away from family and work where you have had to put your game face on. Your fears are no less, but they are loosening their grip on you because you are free to openly discuss them. In that moment, without your best friend even saying a word, you realize you are loved for who you are. In that space of love, you begin to feel your hope and your strength arise and expand, and you hear the small, still voice say “you can do this.”

This begins a moment in time when you realize you are having a shift forward.It is my prayer that this issue will give you:• Inspiration and insight to do what is best for you.• Relief in learning the difference between pain and suffering• Permission to have more fun and celebration in your life, beginning today.• A new determination to defi ne beauty on your terms.• Insight about embracing more joy, healing, love (and yes, even more money) into your life today.• Comfort knowing that you are not alone.

Be a Thriver on your terms, in your style! Be a Thriver on your terms, in your style!

Publisher and 24 Year Breast Cancer Thriver

P.S. BCW has a new travel service, Laurie Bennett Travel! Laurie and her support team will provide the integrity, service, commitment, and dependability that our group appreciates. Many of you already know Laurie. For many years, she was consistently recommended for our travel agent because she is someone you can trust. She was chosen — not because she is my daughter — but because she understands the values of breast cancer thrivers and she will help carry on the traditions of the annual BCW Thrivers Cruise. Call her today.

LAURIE BENNETT TRAVELBCW Thrivers Cruise Travel Agent888-510-5530, call or text: [email protected]

Submit your nominations October 1 for the BCW Annual Awards. Visit breastcancerwellness.org for more informaiton.

MARK YOUR CALENDAR!

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BY BERNIE SIEGEL, MD

PAINThe Unwanted GiftPAIN


GROW

Think about lepers and diabetics with peripheral neuropathy who are losing their limbs because they cannot feel infections or injuries. Then think about our feelings and emotions and how important it is to respond to them. I grew up with a mother whose advice about every problem was always the same, “Do what will make you happy.” She taught me to deal with feelings so today I have happy depressions. When I am hungry, I seek nourishment and when I feel gnawing unrest or other painful emotions, I seek the changes in my life which will resolve the unhealthy and painful feelings. On Mondays we have more heart attacks, suicides, strokes and illnesses. Perhaps if we responded to our feelings and changed our lives or attitudes, Monday would not threaten our health.

I experience pain but I do not suffer. To me pain is a necessity if I am going to define myself and my life, but suffering is an option. Suffering relates to the emotional needs of the individual which are not being met. When the pain has no meaning and does not lead to healing of the person’s life the individual suffers greatly. We have to realize that life is a labor pain of self birthing. When the pain is something we choose to experience to help us grow, it hurts far less than the meaningless pain imposed upon us by others, including health care provider’s treatments and prescriptions.

I work with people’s drawings, and two people may draw the same treatment, with

one showing it as hell and the other conveying the treatment as heaven. If surgery is a mutilation and the drawing of the operating room shows a black box with a patient in it but no one caring for them, versus a life saving gift from God showing flowers and the surgeon caring for the patient, the post-operative recovery will demonstrate the difference. I have done major surgery upon people who awaken and say, “I have no pain. I am a little sore.” I explained to the nurses to please stop writing, “Patient refuses pain medication” in their chart and write that the patient had no pain.

Studies reveal that when you put your hand in a bucket of ice and keep it there as long as possible, you will keep it in the ice

longer if loved ones are standing by your side than if you are alone and probably even longer if your dog is there. In one study, women who were given loving care during child birth had half the number of Cesarean Sections and a fraction of the need for epidurals than women

given good technical care but shown no compassion during labor.

I know from my personal experience with a back injury that when I was operating or painting a portrait, two activities where I lost track of time and was being loving and creative, I was not aware of my pain. When I stopped either activity, I needed to lie down due to the pain I was now aware of. I think any activity which makes you lose track of time is the healthiest state one can ever be in.

A few years ago I was visiting a neurologist friend’s office. In a darkened examining room was a woman who had a severe migraine headache and was awaiting transportation to the hospital. I went in to talk to her and asked her, “How would you describe the pain you are feeling?” She answered, “It’s a burden, like pressure.” If she were my patient I would have asked, “What else in your life fits those words and is a burden causing you pressure?” Instead I did some guided imagery with her to alleviate the burden and pressure in her life.

I then left her in the dark to rest. A few minutes later the office nurse came in to tell me the woman’s headache was gone and she was headed home and added “By the way, the burden is her marriage.” I have had others answer with words like draining, sucking,

I experience pain but I do not suffer. To me pain is a necessity if I am going to define

myself and my life, but suffering is an option.

t workshops I frequently ask people if they would like to be free of all emotional and physical pain. However, I tell them to take my phone number with them so when they experience the problems associated with feeling no pain, they can call and cancel the supposed gift.

Suffering relates to the emotional needs of the individual which are not being met. When the pain has no meaning and does not lead

to healing of the person’s life, the individual suffers greatly.

A

breastcancerwellness.org 9

failure, road block and say, “Thank you” and walk off with a smile of enlightenment on their face.

It is also important to realize people hear you while they are in a coma, under anesthe-sia and while asleep. When my patients awak-ened after surgery I would say, “You will wake up comfortable, thirsty and hungry.” It worked so well that many of them gained weight after surgery because they were always hungry.

Major abdominal surgeries can be done under hypnosis and even acupuncture. To me this simply reveals the power of the mind to control pain and how personal a sensation it can be.

I do not blame the patient or deny the many painful syndromes that require medications and various anesthetic therapies but I am saying that one cannot separate the sensation from the individual and their life and beliefs. Two people with the same affl iction do not necessarily experience and suffer the same degree of pain.

As I said earlier when we see life as a labor pain of self birthing, the pain becomes meaningful and at that time is no longer seen as a curse, and for some it becomes a blessing because of how it redirects their life to fi nd nourishment for their body and soul.

But when we are experiencing pain

because of a prescribed treatment or a family member telling us what we must go through to not die, we are in big trouble. We need to keep our power and fi nd meaning in what we choose to do. I fi nd support groups are very helpful because the natives are able to share with each other and not be told what to do by the tourists.

I will close with a poem I received several years ago (below).

Nine months seems like a long time

I watch my body change

Tired I sit staring out at life

Books and music transport me beyond my body

Nine months fi nally pass

I give birth to my child

All the discomfort and pain is now justifi ed

Chemotherapy and radiation

Twelve months seems like a long time

I watch my body change

Tired I sit staring out at life

Books and music transport me beyond my body

Twelve months fi nally pass

I give birth to myself

All the discomfort and pain is now justifi ed

DR. BERNIE SIEGEL

Dr. Bernie Siegel originated Exceptional Cancer Patients, a speci� c form of therapy utilizing patients’ drawings, dreams, images and feelings. ECaP is based on a safe, loving therapeutic confrontation, which facilitates personal lifestyle chang-es, personal empowerment and healing of the individual’s life. In 1978 he began talking about patient empowerment and

the choice to life fully and to die in peace. As a physician, who has cared for and counseled innumerable people who’s mortality has been threatened by illness, Bernie embraces a philosophy of living and dying that stands at the forefront of the medical ethics and spiritual issues our society grapples with today. Bernie and his wife Bobbie have authored many books including Peace, Love and Healing, How to Live Between O� ce Visits, Prescriptions for Living, Help Me to Heal, 365 Prescriptions for the Soul, and Love, Animals, and Miracles. www.berniesiegelmd.com


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GROW

Several years ago, my husband and I sought marriage counseling. We had been having the same circular

argument over and over for years, and I believed we needed an outsider to help us resolve our issues.

We learned through Imago Therapy, that our issues were simply a symptom of deeper issues; life experiences and beliefs that we each brought to our marriage. By learning how to examine our problems and what we believed about them, we became more conscious, and by becoming more conscious we were better able to understand why we behave the way we do. And through understanding, we were able to be more compassionate with each other, and ultimately and hopefully affect positive change.

And so it is with money problems.In her book, The Problem with Money,

author, Jane Honeck, maintains, “It’s not about the money!”

To help us identify and understand our foundational feelings and behaviors about money, Jane invites us on a guided meditation. I experienced this meditation fi rsthand on the 10th Anniversary BCW Thrivers’ Cruise. It was enlightening to me as I still struggle with fear about not having enough money. (If you are interested, you can read my money story here: http://breastcancerwellness.org/mags/bcw_0115/BCW_0115_web.pdf, page 6). I trust you’ll fi nd it illuminating too.

While we don’t have the voice of Jane to guide us, you can read her meditation below. Later ask a trusted friend or family member to read it aloud to you so you can

receive its full benefit.You are going to want to grab a pen and

notebook so you can journal your feelings or draw pictures.

“Now close your eyes and get ready for a journey to the Ocean of Unlimited Financial Resources. Relax and let go. Feel your body in your chair — your legs on the seat of your chair, your back supported by it. Take three deep breaths and feel yourself relax even more. Breathe in — and — out. In — and — out. In — and — out. Relax and let your imagination fl ow.

Imagine walking out the front door of your home. There is a path that wasn’t there before; it’s gold and sparkly – kind of like the yellow brick road in the Wizard of Oz. You are drawn to walk the patch which winds along a river fl owing at a slow, lazy pace. Through the beautiful blue water, you can see all the way to the bottom where fi sh glide over a bed of multi-colored rocks. Every now and then, a fi sh jumps through the surface and falls back down in a waterfall of rainbow-colored droplets.

Eventually, the river widens, and its waters fl ow faster and faster. The fi sh jump even more playfully as they near an opening into a huge body of water — an ocean. You see no shoreline in any direction; this ocean seems to have endless bounds. In the Ocean of Unlimited Financial Resources, the water shimmers. You can no longer see the multi-colored rocks in the bottom as it also has endless depth. The Ocean of Unlimited Financial Resources has no beginning and no end.

As you gaze over this magnifi cent body of water, a dolphin playfully rises to the surface

and invites you to join it, “Come, come with me.” With no hesitation, you dive in and follow the dolphin. The dolphin leads you to a number of ocean caves.

THE CAVE OF LACKThe fi rst cave it guides you to is the cave of

lack. You swim in and look around. What does it look like? What do you

find there?What colors, sounds, and smells do you

notice?What emotions do you feel? How do you feel in the cave of lack?In your journal, write or draw your

impressions of the cave of lack.Before you leave this cave, take a deep

breath—in and out—is there a message for you in the cave of lack? Write it in your journal.

THE CAVE OF DESERVINGYou leave this cave and follow the dolphin

into the second cave, the cave of deserving. You swim in and peer around the cave of deserving..

What does it look like? What do you fi nd there? What colors, sounds, and smells do you

notice? What emotions does it evoke?How do you feel in the cave of deserving?Write your impressions of the cave of

deserving or draw a picture.Before you leave, take a deep breath—in

and out Is there a message for you in the cave of

deserving? Write it in your journal.

The

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THE CAVE OF ENOUGHYou follow the dolphin out of the cave of

deserving and into the cave of enough. You swim in and look around the cave of enough.

What does it look like?What do you fi nd there?What colors, sounds, and smells do you fi nd?How do you feel in the cave of enough?Write what you see and feel in the cave of

enough. Draw a picture if you like. Once again, before you leave, take a deep

breath—in and out—is there a message for you in the cave of enough?

THE CAVE OF ABUNDANCEAt last, you get to the cave of abundance,

which you’d seen in the distance. The dolphin leads you into the cave of abundance and shows you around.

What does it look like? What do you fi nd there? What colors, sounds, and smells surround

you?How do you feel in the cave of abundance?Write what you fi nd in the cave of

abundance—or draw a picture.Still in the cave of abundance, you swim

around and enjoy its gifts—all it has to offer. After some time, the dolphin leads you to another entrance through which you swim. Somehow not surprised, you fi nd yourself in your heart, in your body, and in your home.

Before she leaves, the dolphin has a fi nal message for you—what is it? What does she want you to know?

Write this in your journal.

At Jane’s workshop on the cruise, the three Financial Makeover winners, shared their stories, here’s mine:

In the cave of lack, I felt chilly. In order not to touch the bottom, where I was sure I could feel a sink hole, I pulled my knees tight to my chest and clasped them with my arms. All my old fears, and some of my current ones bubbled up to the surface of the water. All of this despite the fact that for now, I am blessed with an amazing job that allows me to help others. And a paycheck, which allows me to save (for the fi rst time in years) 10% of my take home pay. I looked at the dolphin and gave an “I’m outta here” signal.

In the cave of deserving, I looked around and saw nothing but potential. The water was warm and clear. The colors beckoned me to swim around and explore. The walls of the cave were translucent and I could feel the light and warmth of the sun. I could not see the bottom, whether it was rocky or sandy, but that was of no concern. In the cave of deserving I concluded that I am worthy and deserving of everything and anything in this life that holds value for me.

In the cave of enough, I felt comfortable and at peace. The water was not too cold or


MOLLY MACDONALD

Diagnosed with breast cancer in April 2005, she was unable to start her new job as planned. Her family’s already tight budget was immediately overburdened with the addition of a monthly COBRA health insurance payments coupled with the loss of her income. As a result, she was determined to help others su� ering from lost income as a result of their diagnosis

and treatment. In 2006 she founded The Pink Fund, where she now serves as CEO working daily to provide help and hope to Survivors and their families. “By providing 90 days of non-medical � nancial assistance, making payments to the patient’s creditors for insurance, housing, transportation and utilities, we give help and hope.” Since its founding, The Pink Fund has made $845,504.45 in bill payments on behalf of 843 Survivors. For her work MacDonald has been the recipient of many local and national awards, most notably she has been named a Pink Power Mom, by Kids II and Bright Starts. She is a Purpose Prize Fellow, presented by Encore.org for social impact, and Money Magazine’s 2014 Michigan Money Hero. The Pink Fund was recently recognized as a top global cancer inno-vator in patient centric care by The LiveStrong Foundation for its work in helping to rebuild � nancial health; and was named by Time and Money, together with Charity Navigator as a one of � ve national breast cancer charities worthy of your donation where you can feel con� dent your dollars will be put to good use. A graduate from The University of Michigan in journalism, MacDonald’s past work experience includes reporting, marketing, public relations and sales. She is a mother to � ve adult children.

not too hot. Like Goldilocks and The Three Bears it felt “just right.” In this cave, I had everything I needed. I spent the most time here, treading water, looking around, taking it all in. I was content here.

In the cave of abundance, I felt the most discomfort, probably because it took me back

to a period of time when I had an abundance of everything the world admires and believes we need to be happy: the big beautiful home, luxury vehicles, fi rst class vacations, a designer wardrobe and jewelry in the lock box at the bank (And what does that tell you about abundance, if you have to lock up your

jewelry for fear someone will steal it!) Here I could not see the bottom, there was no bottom, because for me abundance can never be satisfi ed. It is a bottomless pit. In this cave, the waves were splashing me and I felt a slight undertow, that might pull me back into wanting a life that I learned for me, was of little value. I swam out of there as quickly as possible, leaving the dolphin to follow.

The interesting thing about this exercise is that we will all feel differently about each cave. For some abundance feels “just right.” There is no right or wrong way to feel.

And, as Jane suggests, as we become more conscious and aware of our beliefs about money our feelings may change. Like the changing ocean, the water looks and behaves differently throughout the day and night. It varies from season to season.

In the seasons of our own lives, it is important to continue to explore our feelings about money. Acknowledging our feelings leads us to a deeper understanding of who we are and brings us into a consciousness that leads to a healthier relationship with money.

You can learn more from Jane by participating in her upcoming webinar, Financial Wellness after Breast Cancer. www.BreastCancerWellness.org/FinancialWellness

I plan to be part of this program and hope you will make the investment to do the same.

In the seasons of our own lives, it is important to continue to explore our feelings about money.


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or thousands of years, Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) has recommended herbs to help prevent and treat various health

conditions. For example, ginkgo biloba and ginseng are two of the most commonly prescribed TCM because of their many health-promoting and anti-aging properties. Research shows that both of these

herbs may also help to defend against breast cancer.

GINKGO BILOBAGinkgo biloba, best known for its ability

to enhance cognitive function, has recently been shown to also lower the risk of and dramatically deter the

growth of breast cancer in a diversity of ways. A study published in 2006 in

the Journal of Steroid Biochemistry and Molecular Biology found that ginkgo has several anti-estrogen effects that reduce the risk of breast cancer.• Ginkgo stimulates estradiol metabolism by decreasing the amount of estradiol—the strongest and most abundant form of natural estrogen in your body (and the one most associated with an increased risk of breast cancer) by speeding the rate at which your body breaks it down and eliminates it.• Ginkgo inhibits estradiol synthesis, decreasing how much your body makes.• Ginkgo activates a special receptor (AhR) on the breast cell membrane, which dampens the stimulatory effect that estradiol has on the estrogen receptor.

The researchers in this study concluded that the various infl uences that ginkgo has on estrogen also makes it an excellent potential alternative to HRT for menopausal symptoms. They emphasize that ginkgo may help alleviate symptoms, and instead of dangerous side effects,

NOURISH

Herbal Defense from

Traditional Chinese MedicineBY CHRISTINE HORNER, M.D.


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GINSENG KILLS CANCER CELLSDozens of studies conducted in the last

decade consistently show that Panax ginseng not only stops breast cancer cells from growing, but also kills them through apoptotic cell death. One such study was conducted in Seoul, Korea and published in the journal Cancer Research in 2005. Another study published in Life Sciences in November 2004 found that ginseng killed cancer cells more effectively than several chemotherapeutic agents including epirubicin, 5-fluorouracil, and cyclophospamide! Researchers at the National Institutes of Health in 2009 reported that heat processing American ginseng through steaming caused some of the anticancer components, called ginsenosides, to increase significantly. As result, the tumor-killing activity of the heated ginseng is much greater than untreated ginseng. Ginseng also has strong anti-inflammatory actions, including shutting off the COX-2 enzyme and prevents metastasis.

GINSENG ENHANCES CHEMOTHERAPYYou may want to seriously consider taking

ginseng if you are currently undergoing chemotherapy treatment. There are numerous studies showing that ginseng increases the tumor cell killing abilities of chemotherapy. For example, a study conducted at the University of Cambridge in the United Kingdom found ginseng enhanced the ability of mitoxantrone to kill human breast cancer cells. Another study published in 2004 and conducted at the University of British Columbia found that ginseng could make tumor cells that were multi-drug resistant

it provides side benefits. For instance HRT, prescribed for decades for menopausal symptoms, has fallen out of favor because it also increases the risk of breast cancer and a variety of other serious disorders, whereas ginkgo actually has protective effects against breast cancer.

Another study conducted at Georgetown University School of Medicine and published in the journal Anticancer Research in 2006 found that ginkgo reduced the aggressiveness of breast cancer and slowed its growth by 80 percent! In an earlier study from the same institution, ginkgo was found to work specifically by affecting a protein receptor (PBR) plus 36 other genes involved in various pathways regulating cell proliferation. In addition to gene-regulating actions, ginkgo also inhibits cancer growth with powerful antioxidants and by shutting off the blood supply to tumors. Korean researchers in 2012 found that ginkgo kills tumor cells by impeding an enzyme found in tumor cells called fatty acid synthase. Ginkgo also blocks the aromatase enzyme from making estrogen, and stops the growth of and kills estrogen-negative breast cancer cells. In addition, it protects against some of the side effects of chemotherapy, including cognitive dysfunction and damage to the heart.

GINSENGWith a history of use that goes back

5,000 to 7,000 years, ginseng is the most famous of all the Chinese herbs because of its remarkable medicinal qualities. Best known for its ability to improve stamina and protect against the damaging effects of stress, this root—which often grows in the shape resembling a man—also holds powerful anticancer properties.

much more sensitive to chemotherapy. A third study from Harvard Medical School found American Ginseng (Panax quinquefolius) used concurrently with breast cancer therapeutic agents resulted in “a signifi cant suppression of cell growth for most drugs evaluated.” They concluded that American ginseng worked synergistically with breast cancer chemotherapeutic drugs to stop cell growth.

GINSENG IMPROVES QUALITY OF LIFEGinseng has also been found to improve

the quality of life of breast cancer patients. In a study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology in 2006, researchers at Vanderbilt University studied ginseng and breast cancer patients in China. One thousand four hundred and fi fty-fi ve breast cancer patients were recruited for the Shanghai Breast Cancer Study from August 1996-1998 and were followed through 2002. Twenty-seven percent of the patients were ginseng users before their cancer diagnosis. Compared to those women who had never used of ginseng, their death rate was signifi cantly lower. The women who began ginseng after their cancer diagnosis tested much higher than nonusers for Quality of Life (QOL) scores. Psychological and social well-being and overall quality of life improved as cumulative ginseng use increased. A 2011 study confi rmed the ability of ginseng to help the QOL of breast cancer survivors, especially by improving fatigue and hormone-related symptoms.

HOW TO TAKE GINSENGGinseng comes in standardized doses

in capsules that you can purchase at most health food stores. The recommended dose is 1 to 2 grams daily. It is possible to overdose on ginseng, so don’t take more than what is recommended. Massive overdoses can bring about Ginseng Abuse Syndrome characterized by hypertension, nervousness, insomnia, hypertonia (muscle rigidity), edema, morning diarrhea, inability to concentrate, and skin eruptions.

Christine Horner, M.D.

Christine Horner, M.D. is a board certi� ed and nationally recognized surgeon, author, expert in natural medicine, professional speaker and a relentless champion for women’s health. She is the author of Waking the Warrior Goddess: Dr. Christine Horner’s Program to Protect Against and Fight Breast Cancer, winner of the Independent Book Publishers Award 2006 for Best Book in Health, Medicine, and Nutrition and the author of the 2016 book Radiant Health, Ageless Beauty: Dr. Christine Horner’s 30-Day Program to Extraordinary Health, Beauty, and Longevity.. www.drchristinehorner.com.


“RENEW

I feel like I am being asked to give up my life, and I really wanted to finally start some new classes to hopefully

qualify for a new job. There is barely time to go to my children’s school functions. I already feel fatigued, depressed, guilty and ashamed that I feel this way. I know my mom needs my help during her chemotherapy and radiation treatments. I love her and I do want to help her, but I just don’t know how to do this and I am afraid that I can’t do enough to save her life,” sobbed Danika.

According to the National Alliance for Caregiving, Danika is part of the 20% adult population that provides personal care and support for a family member who faces a health challenge. Family and friends also provide more than transportation to doctors’ appointments, chemotherapy and radiation treatments, but they give emotional support and oftentimes provide meal preparation, bathing and dressing needs for their loved one.

Personal caregivers many times supply the expenses of gasoline, groceries, prescriptions and medications, first aid, special clothing needs, and house maintenance. Caregivers may be asked to help find legal assistance for wills, trusts, end-of-life issues, health directives, real estate and personal properties. They sometimes also incur lost wages, missed promotions, and relationship issues with their children, friends, and significant others. Romance, personal time, health care needs, hobbies, friendships and spiritual needs are often abandoned or put on hold.

Here are a few suggestions to thrive during these diverse times:

HAVE A PLAN TO SHAREAsk for help. Unless you and your loved one

live on a deserted island with no one living within a hundred miles of your island, you don’t have to hog the role of care giving to yourself. This gives others the opportunity to give of themselves and prevents fatigue and burnout.

Have a support team large enough to share their time with your loved one. Enlist a family member, neighbor, friend, or church member

to be the “communications coordinator”. This person will keep everyone informed of medical appointments, meal planning, and status of your loved one’s health. It’s also a great way to keep prayers, hope and faith going.

Know your boundaries. Be aware of what you are willing to do and not willing to do, and let others communicate how they are willing to help, and how often they can share their time and resources.

APPLY THE GOLDEN RULEWe all want to be treated with kindness,

compassion, dignity, integrity, respect, honesty

The Thriving Caregiver

“It is not how much you do, but how much love you put in the doing.” — Mother Theresa


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and love. The principle of treating others in the same way as we would like to be treated always applies to life, and to thriving as a care-giver. Give yourself permission to apply more grace and kindness for what you need.

LOOK, LISTEN, LOVELOOK for ways to simplify life. By knowing

what your loved ones top fi ve priorities are, you can be aware if everyone’s daily activities and intentions align with these priorities. Perhaps their top priorities are God, health, family, seeking knowledge, and seeing friends. Asking your loved one to clarify how they plan to have their priorities realized is a key ques-tion: Do they want to have Bible study once a day, go to church every Sunday, meet the Pope, or perhaps travel to Jerusalem?

If health is a priority, how does this trans-late into daily activities; does it mean organic meals, core physical exercises, yoga, walking, swimming, etc? If family is a priority, does speaking with a family once a day make her/him happy or having all the family members to dinner once a week? If seeking knowl-edge is important, does this mean research at the library, on the internet, interviewing experts in the fi eld, or spending quiet time reading books on the subject? How high of a priority is social engagement? If our loved one has always surrounding themselves with family and friends and suddenly disengages, it may be a sign of a deeper issue or a shift of priorities.

We truly don’t know until we ask and this may the ideal time to establish new priorities for what is important to our loved one. Estab-lishing priorities simplifi es life because only top priorities is where the most time is spent.

LISTEN from the heart to what is being said. This way of listening sometimes takes practice; it provides a safe space for your loved one to tell you what they need, and it provides the same healing haven for you to express your conditions for being respected and appreci-ated. Oftentimes when listening, our mind is busy thinking what it wants to say in response or in ways that our feelings can be justifi ed. When any of us feel safe to share our feelings, including what we are most afraid of, we begin to heal. Listening is a valuable healing tool when done without judgment, prejudice or unsolicited advice.

LOVE without motive or expectation. Hug your loved one. No words said. Just a heart to heart hug. If someone recently had surgery, a big bear squeeze may harm them, so be mindful and respectful of physical conditions before you hug.

When hugging, let the love move between the two of you. This type of hug transcends words, can gently erase past pains and misun-derstandings. Many people say they do not like to be hugged, but maybe these are the ones carrying the most emotional pain, and are timid about being vulnerable and open with their feelings. Hug daily, hug often. Hugging provides comfort and helps to release positive endorphins. Hugging is a gateway for building the best relationships in life.

Use this time to get to know more about your loved one, including asking about their childhood memories. This gives them the opportunity to get to know you better too. This in itself will be a special gift from the caregiving experience.

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$4.95 Volume 9, Issue 1 Spring 2014

9TH ANNUAL BREAST CANCER THRIVERS CRUISE 2015 p. 26

Heartfelt Advice

Moving Beyond Hope

RADICALREMISSIONWhat is it? Join the BCW

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DiscoveringDiscoveringDiscovering

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DiscoveringDiscovering

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Cele� a� ng You!

PRETTIEST IN PINK

LARGEST GROUP

BARBARA HAMMETT,LAS VEGAS, NVSPONSORED BYNEARLY ME®

MICHELLE BODDEN,GRAND CAYMAN ISLANDS

SPONSORED BYMUSHROOM WISDOM®

THRIVING CAREGIVER

CHERRIE BRICE AND

PRETTY IN PINK

DIVAS

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FAR OUT TRAVELER

WENDY SLATERY, WEST RICHLAND, WA

BCW celebrated the 10th Anniversary of the Thrivers Cruise with a record sailing!In 2017, we sail out of Miamito Key West and Cozumel.

We would love for you to join us!


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April 24-28, 2017Sailing out of Miami, Florida to Key West and Cozumel

FUN * FELLOWSHIPCELEBRATION * AWARDSWorkshops to Empower You

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scholarships for 10 Thrivers.

We salute Heather Tewell Grace for her generosity to make the scholarships

possible for 2016.

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DENISE PERREAULT,YUMA, AZ

FAITH AMBASSADOR

HEATHER TEWELL GRACE,CHAPEL HILL, NC

JOIN BCW! 5 Days / 4 Nights

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SIGN UP TODAY!888-510-5530 • 417-664-5380“I am so honored for the opportunity to serve

Thrivers and their caregivers with their travel needs. Registration is now open. Call me to reserve your

cabin.” – Laurie Bennett, Laurie Bennett Travel

HEATHER TEWELL GRACE, CHAPEL HILL, NC, MADE THE WINNING BID FOR THE QUILT DONATED BY CINDY MILLER, KENNEWICK, WA

MARY VAN BLAKE SHOAF HAD THE WINNING BID FOR THE HOPE QUILT MADE AND DONATED BY BRENDA BAILEY, BAKERSFIELD, CA

RENEW

—Jan Ping


Everything had a happy ending. All you really had to do was follow the breadcrumbs and you’d fi nd yourself Home Sweet Home.

A wonderful, comfortable and safe place where everything is abundantly beautiful... this loving place called Home.

I have moments experiencing this place I call Home in many different situations: When something feels familiar or I’ve just met someone that seems like an old friend immediately. Flashes of happy memories that seem like yesterday

warming my heart again as if it were currently happening. Connecting to something that feels very deep, soulful.

I relate these “moments” to breadcrumbs and when I catch a glimpse, I try to follow them and see where I end up. Acknowledg-ing, listening and giving them permission to surface.

Being a makeup artist, I am blessed to have many different opportunities doing what I do. I recently had the pleasure of doing makeup on some pretty amazing woman who have experienced the diag-nosis of breast cancer. These thrivers are nothing short of amazing. Their beauty holds no bounds and as a trained profes-sional, I know of what I speak.

Yet as women, for whatever reason, we temporarily forget our beauty A LOT. In fact, it’s more common than not to be in the place of lack than the never ending, always “enough” pres-ence of our inner beauty.

We lose sight of this place of beau-

ty and I think we do so without even knowing it’s happening — listening to others opinions, social media, short sighted defi nitions of beauty, our own doubts. All of these can cloud our perspective of beauty. Real beauty. Our own special gifts to ourselves and to the world we live in.

While spending time with these thrivers, I had the opportunity to witness them following their breadcrumbs, leading them to reconnecting to their inner beauty again after breast cancer.

Once the connection is made, it looks some-thing like this:

v A little gaspv A stolen glancev A soft laughv A timid smilev A moment of acknowledgementv A hearty laughv A few tearsv A peaceful remembrancev A calmv A familiar placev A return to what is the truth, what is

known but has been forgottenv A Homecoming

The look of joy and recognition shines through and a healing takes place for everyone involved.

Ladies, I invite you to follow the breadcrumbs. Pay attention to them and follow them with an open heart. Connect to your inner beauty and em-brace it with gentle, loving arms. Home is where the heart is. May you fi nd your way Home.

BeautiFlyFlyYour Life

I was raised on fairy tal� .

Who says what beauty is? Who determines why beauty is valuable? We are attracted to beauty in some form, whether it’s the beauty in a sunrise, the exquisite-ness and uniqueness of fl owers or the beauty of friendship. We use cos-metics, clothing and jewelry, and let’s not forget shoes, for props to help us feel what we know is already there. Sometimes these feelings get packed away to explore later in life, or perhaps we have abandoned feelings that we are worthy to feel beautiful.

The breast cancer experience has taught us that real beauty is far beyond what “marketing gurus” want us to believe about beauty. Chal-lenging to defi ne, beauty is connected in some magical way to the essence of life.

Thank you to Emmy-winning Makeup Artist Jan Ping for your wonderful heart that you shared with us on the 10th Annual Thrivers Cruise.

Thank you to Teresa Lane and HairUWear for all of the fun, expertise, wigs and hairpieces you provided on the cruise.

Thank you to the thrivers who explored their many aspects of beauty!

Lakenia Mack RobinsonRICHTON PARK, IL

Prior to my chemotherapy, I wore my hair burgundy and had full eyebrows and eyelashes. But after Jan Ping and Teresa Lane touched my world, it restored all that chemo took from me and reminded me of the beauty I once felt. It restored my heart, mind, body and soul! This took my healing process to another level and I’ll never be the same again.

Julie Diehl WEST SENECA, NY

Mischell MayGLENDALE, AZ


Makeover Winners

GLENDALE, AZ


Wendy SlatteryWEST RICHLAND, WA

Beauty to me comes from deep inside, so when you asked me if I felt beautiful after the make-over, I saw a change in my physical appearance, I looked younger, thank you for that. My beauty comes from deep within me, I’m the type of person who doesn’t need physical appearance to be beautiful, It’s the caring about oth-ers, it’s sel� ess acts that don’t need recognition, this is beautiful to me.

Janet Fredrick URBANA, IL

The process leading up to the makeover was exciting; it gave me something to look forward to. With taking care of many family members, with serious health problems, it was like therapy for me. As I was getting the makeover, I felt like a queen for the day! That feeling lasted on the entire cruise. When I presented the new look to all the pink ladies, I felt sexy once more. I told Jan, “now I feel like dating again”. When I got back home, the same feelings of being sexy were still there. My friends even noticed the change in attitude and how I carried myself. It has been fun creating a new look with the two wigs and new clothes. Last Saturday, I got ready to go out dancing. My neigh-bor mentioned that I looked sexy and that I might even get “hit on” that night. As the night went on, I was asked to dance. This gentlemen had noticed me a couple weeks before. He said, “You look like someone who would be fun to dance with.” I have not had that type of comment in years. Thanks so much, I hope to continue feeling sexy as the year goes on. Next year on the cruise, I’ll share how things went for me.

Ramona EvansINDEPENDENCE, MO

When much younger, I wore a lot of makeup to enhance what God gave me and feel better about my ap-pearance. Over the years I cut down to minimal makeup because some-where along the way my priorities in life changed. Anything more than eyebrows and lips, were only needed for special occasions. Although my idea of beauty changed over time, my makeover with Jan, Teresa and Stein Mart was an opportunity to meet two beautiful (inside and out) Thrivers and some delightful retail associates. The experience will remain with me for years to come.

Special thanks to our sponsors:

be beautiful, It’s the caring about oth-


Ariana OppCOMMERCE CITY, CO

I am having a hard time putting into words my feelings. The makeover was such an amazing gift. I really wish I could bring Jan home with me. I felt beautiful in a way that I had not in many, many years. I feel more like the pre-cancer me — the me I was in my early 20’s. The experience helped me begin to � nd my self-con� dence again.

Cynthia Connelly WOODBINE, GA

First, THANK YOU to the entire makeover team for your love and dedication. Being selected was in honor in itself, then learning that we would be treated like royalty was even better! I love Steinmart and being able to go on a fabulous shopping trip was like a dream coming true! The makeover team of Jan Ping and Teresa Lane made me feel like a princess. Care was taken to make sure everyone’s preferences were respected while they worked their “magic.” You could feel their love and admiration for each thriver. Our beauty comes from within our hearts and compassion for others. We must embrace our new nor-mal after a cancer diagnosis and take the time needed to prepare for our day, everyday... because we are worth it! On that day, we learned to see ourselves in a new light. A courageous and shining light; we ARE thriving survivors, sisters for life! Love you all!

Laura HoltynLANCASTER, NY

Jacqueline Caesar-PowellMONROE, LA

Susan Portney-GizaMARGATE, FL

INSPIRE Thriver Pro� le

Once again, the recipient of the largest group award on the annual BCW Thrivers Cruise went to Cherrie Brice’s group — Pretty in Pink Divas. They are a band of faith-based thrivers and supporters from Atlanta and across the country who spread their faith, love, support, laughter and some mischief too (yes, you Jeannetta!) Here are some of their “ah ha,” divine and God moments when they knew their lives were being touched.

Where There is Str ength ,

Our group provides a sense of togetherness, sisterhood, love and encouragement to all. We show love to others because of the God that we all share and love. “Where there is strength there is unity.” You will fi nd that within us. We all have our struggles, at the end we all know that with God All Things are Possible and with us, we will help you through it. You are never alone. My aha moment, was after being diagnosed at 41; you have to know your body, because no one else does. If you feel something is wrong, go and have it checked out. Our group is called the “Pretty in Pink Divas.” — Cherrie Brice

“Tez, stress is going to kill you before this cancer,” my oncologist advised during my chemotherapy for triple negative breast cancer. Her words had a profound eff ect. Life throws much your way via circumstances and people you can’t control. Facing breast cancer provides tremendous insight on what’s IMPORTANT and what’s NOT. It’s not easy and requires prayer and refl ection. Since that day, my mantra became “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff .” — Montez Hollins


My ah-ha moment was when the cancer started shrinking and I went into remission the fi rst time in 2010. At that moment I knew God was in control of my life. The cancer returned in 2012 and I wasn’t really scared because I knew God was the same God that healed me the fi rst time. God has healed my body to serve others. It’s not Cancer it’s CanSERVE. I can SERVE God. — Sheila Johnson-Glover

Where there is love and forgiveness, there is

happiness and healing! — Monica Rider


My gynecologist called and asked if I was sitting. I replied “Yes.” He informed me that my biopsy showed breast cancer. I said “Okay”. We ended the conversation and I had an immediate sense of Peace. I knew that God would keep me. His words would become actions in my Life. I knew that with Him, there was no other option but yo trust Him. — Lakesha Tillman

I always had my yearly mammogram, but in 2011 I began to feel that something was wrong. I did a self exam at home and felt something that didn’t feel so right. I called my doctor’s offi ce and made an appointment, did the test and at that time, December 2011, I was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer. My Ah-Ha moment was when I was being wheeled into that operating room to have that fi rst surgery. I heard the voice of God speaking to me saying “I got you, you are completely healed but I must take you through the test so you will have a testimony.” I had a bilateral mastectomy in January 2012. God is able and God will take care of you; you must trust and believe. My motto is: Live life, don’t let life live you. — Jacqueline Smith-Gamble

At 49 years old, I had never had a mammogram because of my career and busy life and I may have gone without ever having one if God didn’t change my course. I was having a preoperative examination to clear me for knee surgery when my doctor found a lump. I was immediately sent over to have a mammogram, which detected a large mass. The diagnosis was stage 3 breast cancer. We took the breast and saved my life... for me, my defi ning moment was here, the moment when God chose me, He touched, healed and changed my life forever through having bad knees. God lead me to that examination for knee surgery to save me. It was never about my knees, it was about my life and God controlling it. Realizing that is when my Faith became even stronger and where I found the strength to make it through my battle. I’m now 56 years old and remain cancer free!— Carroll Benefi eld-Watson

My sixteen chemotherapy treatments were over the course of four months. I celebrated a birthday, Thanksgiving, and two weeks

before Christmas I had my last treatment. I planned my life around hospital and doctor visits. I was determined to not let cancer rob me of better, brighter

days yet to come. Even while I was still in treatment, I planned my life — what I wanted it to be — what I wanted to do after treatment. Weak, tired, and sick, I imagined the day I’d be up and active. I wrote down the dates, activities, and

plan. I had a hope chest, if you will, of all these grandiose plans. I ticked through them one by one the year after I completed treatment. Three years later, I am

actively seeking new adventures to help remind me that this life is to be LIVED. It is a gift that I want to celebrate every day.

My a-ha moment — live life with and on purpose! Keep it moving.— Carletta Cunningham My blog: Pinky Tri ~ Breast Cancer Survivor & Triathlete

I pondered the scripture, “In every thing give Thanks”. It seems diffi cult to give thanks for sickness and not to mention the diagnosis of breast cancer. I thank Him because it has drawn me closer to Him; He strengthens me to help others going through, allowed new friendships to be formed, and gave me Joy. I am a Living Testimony! — Wanda Gray


Dr. Christine Horner’s Program to Protect Against & Fight Breast CancerBreast cancer has reached epidemic proportions in the United States. Once a relatively rare disease, it nowaffects 2 to 3 million American women. What can we do to protect ourselves? Christine Horner, M.D., hasthe prescription: Eat healthy foods, add a good dose of certain supplements, get the rest and exercise weneed, and avoid things that are bad for our bodies. We each have a Warrior Goddess in us, and it’s timeto set her free.

A pioneer who pushed through federal and state legislation ensuring that breast reconstruction after amastectomy would be paid for by insurance companies, Dr. Horner lost her own mother to breast cancer.She decided then that her mother’s death would not be in vain.

Using the metaphor of the Warrior Goddess, this book explains what Ayurveda, an ancient system ofhealing, describes as our “inner healing intelligence.” It also explores the various foods and supplementsthat enable women to prevent and successfully fight breast cancer, as they claim the healthy bodythat should be theirs. Dr. Horner has added research from more than 500 studies to the updated thirdedition of her award-winning book, as well as informationon risk and the BRCA1 gene mutation (the genetic conditionAngelina Jolie was found to have), and a new chapter on“The Spiritual Journey of Breast Cancer.“ In it, she describeswhy cancer is a wakeup call, a time-out in which women canturn inward to evaluate their lives with the intent to restoregood health and learn how to receive, trust, and surrenderas they cultivate their relationship with their intuition anda higher power.

The final part of Waking the Warrior Goddess presents Dr.Horner’s Thirty-Step Program for reclaiming health anddefeating breast cancer. In addition, this book includes anextensive, newly updated resources section for obtaining theparticular nutrients and products that our bodies need tobecome and stay strong and healthy.

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INSPIREINSPIREINSPIREINSPIREINSPIREINSPIREINSPIREINSPIREINSPIREINSPIREINSPIREINSPIREINSPIREINSPIREINSPIRE Thriver Pro� le

n another world, another time, there existed a colony of people living a prosperous, spiritual life. Everything was good. Celebra-tions were lavish and often, laughter

abounded, happiness fi lled the land. It was a joyful place.

Over time things begin to change. Crops thrived less and less. Time for work began to extend further and further into every day. Less time was available to celebrate as more of the day was spent in the fi elds fostering the failing crops. Livestock faltered and died from lack of food and water. Smiles were slowly replaced with somber faces. Work became the sunup to sundown norm. The crops continued to suffer, hunger began to ravish the people and death resulted from harder work and less prosperity. Hope became more scarce by the day.

Meetings were held, arguments pursued. Some sought solutions, others became distraught and listless. The desperate truth was this land was becoming extinct, it was dying, slowly, purposefully.

No one really knew it, but they needed a hero.Heros can be hard to fi nd. Heros don’t always know they are. Heros

don’t always look like heros. Everyone is a hero, and yet, so unaware of their power.

The elders met to discuss a plan. In the olden days the great dragon beast living on the distant mount had the answer. Within the beautiful dragon’s precious new egg was the answer, the solution. But who would venture to secure the egg? Who could go? There was no map and who remembered the way? So many questions, so much to ponder.

Who in their right mind would accept such a challenge? Only a hero, of course. Were there any left, was the question. Ah yes, of course they must fi nd someone to make the journey, to be the hero. But, WHO?

With much deliberation, a community member was chosen. Her name was Milagros. Yes, miracle. And indeed a miracle they needed. Milagros was a young woman. The elders fi gured she would be strong enough, naïve enough to accept the challenge.

An so it was that Milagros was to make the trek, the ominous journey

to the distant mountain of the dragon beast to secure the promise of renewal and healing.

The men complained, “She is a woman!”, The women shouted, “Milagros should stay home and marry!” Milagros simply said, “I love this community, I will do anything to save it, even risk life itself.”

So off Milagros went, armed with food, bow and arrow, and the talisman her mother gave her with the medicinal powers.

At fi rst the journey was an easy trek down the winding road, family and friends following and cheering her on. As each day ended, so the followers drifted off, until after a week, Milagros found herself alone on the dusty road.

Soon the road became a mere path, winding endlessly into the hills. Dramatic sunsets announced the night. Milagros drank in the silence of her journey. Climbing now, hand over hand up the steep hills. With each day she came to know herself better and better.

She gathered strength with every step. Brush grabbed her face with it’s sharp fi ngers leaving angry welts. Her feet ached and bled as holes grew larger and larger in her shoes. The attack of the angry bees would have been enough to send the faint hearted running home. Milagros dressed the poisoned stings and moved on. For sure, the pack of wolves that tracked her every step and watched her by night could be her demise. Milagros continued the journey. Milagros did not feel like a hero, but she knew she must succeed in her quest for the magical egg.

Finally she crested the treeline. Rocks, dirt and tufted grass awaited her. It was then that she saw the great beast, circling in the sky above her, watching her. One accurate swoop and grab of the strong talons and she would be just another scrap to be fed to the beast’s family. Carefully, Mi-lagros proceeded onward watching the beast in order to locate her nest. One, only one egg. That was all she needed. Surely the great dragon beast would not miss one egg. Was she early, had the egg been laid yet? Was she too late, and the tiny dragon baby already hatched, ready to stretch its leatherly wings and escape her grasp? Would she arrive just in time to capture and take the egg or be found out and torn to bits and dropped

MY HEROES,MY MILAGROSBY BRENDA BEST

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone; we find it with another.

- Thomas Merton


over the cliff by the angry Mama?The closer Milagros came to her goal, the more frightened and

unsure she became. All these days and miles, they could very well be in vain. On the other hand she might be able to complete the destiny and save her people.

At last the huge feathered nest was located. Milagros studied the terrain. She notated with copious notes the daily routine of the mother beast. The plan was to make her move early in the day during the beast’s hunting time, remove the egg and escape to shelter before mother re-turned and realized the egg was gone.

The great beast felt danger near. She stayed close to her nest, the three eggs nearing hatching. With the fi rst hatching, food was needed to nourish the growing, demanding baby. That was Milagros’s chance. With stealth she slinked quietly toward the nest as the mother hunted. The shreaks of the hatchling was deafening. The mission was at hand. No wavering, no turning back now. As she quickly reached into the nest and grasped the egg, the mother appeared, swooping down quickly and angrily. Milagros quickly moved to avoid the sharp talons. Feet slipping beneath her, she fell backwards and slid down the rocky slope, rocks bruising and tearing at her fl esh. Half running and tumbling, she found temporary shelter under a dense bush. Her pain was overwhelming.

She closed her eyes and wept silently and alone in her pain. Had she broken any bones? How serious were her injuries? The next few days were a blurr of pain. A fever ravished her emaciated body. All she wanted was to go home. No she couldn’t go home, she would be disgraced. She would rather die than fail her mission. Milagros nursed her wounds, slept through feverous nights, watching the mother beast watch her.

I must do this and do it soon, she said to herself. If all the eggs hatched, the mission would be ended right here and now.

As morning crept across the sky, Milagros realized that all of her life up to this moment was to gather her fullest strength and do what she knew she was born to do.

Edging carefully from sheltered bush to tree, she made her way to the nest. Reaching in, she secured the beautiful egg, placed it in her shoulder sack and carefully made her way back to shelter. Now she must wait for the evening light and make her way down the mountain in the dark. It was then she heard the angry shrieks of the mother beast. Yes, the moth-er beast could count. She knew her baby was missing and had a keen idea who was to blame. By way of dark, Milagros made her way carefully down the mountain, past the wolves and along the narrow path. Careful now, she must take care not to crack the precious talisman, the miracle that was to save her and her land.

Far away along the dusty road, they saw her coming and they ran to meet her.

This is where my hero story begins. It begins with you. All of you. Ironically, I wrote this story 36 years ago as a class assignment for

my educational degree. It wasn’t until until eight years ago when I was diagnosed with breast cancer that I would learn how important it is to have a hero; someone to mirror strength and courage back to me when I needed it.

When creating Milagros as my hero, I never knew I would meet her, again and again, in every woman on the Thrivers Cruise. You are my heroes. You are my Milagros.

Milagros is Spanish for miracle. Each of us has a miracle within us. Each of us has a hero. Find your hero. Let your hero be your guide. Write your hero’s story.

This is my Hero’s Journey. Please take the journey with me on the 2017 Breast Cancer Thrivers Cruise. You will not be disappointed.

MY MILAGROS

Milagros is Spanish for miracle. Each of us has a miracle within us. Each of us has a hero. Find your hero. Let your hero be your guide. Write your hero’s story.


Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ Haʦ INSPIREThriver Pro� le

It was the fi rst day of school for two of Lisa Perea Hane’s three children when they lost their mom to breast cancer. A devoted mother, wife, and writer, Lisa endured her long journey with grace, gusto, and humor.

Years prior, Lisa – who held a master’s degree in creative writing from Emerson College – had an idea: She said she was lying in bed during a chemo treatment, feeling sorry for herself and thinking that she wanted to do something to make the experience more positive. She had her kids’ experiences in mind, and aspired to help other youth going through this. Lisa had fruitlessly searched for a children’s book to empower her kids during her initial chemo. Lisa then decided to write such a book.

Across town, I was standing at the bus stop on a sunny, Monday morning. A young boy about eight years old stumbled out of his home, raced right by me, and clamored up the bus steps. Each day I’d call out, “Good morning, Brad!” He’d always fl ash me his heartwarming smile, shouting while simultaneously waving and running, “Good morning, Mrs. Fink!” We had a great rapport.

That Monday, Brad stopped responding. I mused, maybe it wasn’t cool anymore to exchange greetings with moms. But I persisted, greeting him each morning that week. He continued to bumble right past me, oblivious to my existence.

Friday morning, Brad’s dad emerged. I asked if everything was okay, given the change in Brad’s behavior. He said, “Not really. My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. Things are kinda upside-down at home.” Taken aback, I offered empathy and help.

I walked away in silence while my mind whirled. It was astounding li’l Brad could make it from Point A to Point B. It was no wonder that he suddenly saw nothing but the bus door, that his books fell out of his backpack, that his hair was disheveled, and that he carried one shoe. Sweet Brad was probably terrifi ed, not knowing what this cancer thing

meant, not knowing if mom would be okay, not knowing what to do or not to do. It was a miracle he managed to make it to school.

I stopped in my tracks as I cogitated, “and society expects Brad, and the millions of children with parents facing cancer, to function at school? To do and deliver their best in a learning environment that requires concentration and focus??!” These kids need and deserve special care and age-appropriate support to help them understand and cope during this disruptive and terrifying journey.

Timing is everything. Lisa and I were introduced. We decided to co-author the story that Lisa needed for her own children, and that I wanted for Brad. After years of work, “A Mom of Many Hats” emerged to empower elementary school-age kids whose parents are battling cancer and undergoing chemo.

A Mom of ManyBY DEBBIE FINK, M.A., CO-AUTHOR

In memory of Lisa Perea Hane, co-author(February 22, 1963 – August 27, 2012)


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Caroline Smith Heming, an illustrator, had recently lost a dear friend to cancer. In her friend’s memory, Caroline poured her heart and creative energy into “A Mom of Many Hats.”

Our collective intention was to educate and empower children, encouraging them to open up about their feelings and thoughts, questions and worries. There are innumerable ways – both subtle and blatant – that a parent’s cancer diagnosis impacts a child’s life. Some children regress, sucking their thumbs or wetting their beds again, others retreat, some act out, others have difficulty in school.

Lisa and I were driven by several compelling questions, including how:

• Does a child feel when told that his or her parent is diagnosed with cancer?

• Does a family talk about “It” in an age-appropriate manner?

• Can teachers and fellow classmates become more sensitized and supportive?

• Can a child learn to cope?• Can a child turn fear into strength?

THE PLOT THICKENS“A Mom of Many Hats” invites the readers

to join Brad and his older sister Olivia on their empowering journey. When Brad and Olivia are told their energetic mom has cancer, their carefree lives are turned upside down. They feel helpless and scared. As predicted, mom’s hair falls out during chemotherapy. Seeing mom down, Olivia comes up with a brilliant idea that takes on a life of its own. She and Brad, with the help of Grandma and Dad, plan a surprise for their mom: They throw her the happiest hat shower ever!

Each guest brings a hat that hands their mom a virtue (for example, their friend the fireman’s hat symbolically delivers courage to the family) which she and her family will need to get through chemo and beyond.

In addition to learning basic, age-appropriate information about cancer and chemo, Brad and Olivia learn invaluable life lessons by the end of the story. They learn to:

• Identify and talk about feelings and worries

• Rely on virtues, such as courage, hope, and humor

• Feel empowered through age-appropriate helpfulness

• Turn their fear into strength


Brad and Olivia learn about the power of family and community. They grasp the difference between “ME” and “WE.” They discover that they don’t have to endure this scary journey alone. They figure out that it is easier to deal with their crisis together. And they comprehend that communication is key. It was the summer Brad and Olivia learned that “WE are so much stronger than little ol’ ME.”

When children and adults read “A Mom of Many Hats” together, it sparks constructive discussions. With Kubler-Ross’ Stages of Loss of Normalcy interwoven, it provides a useful tool both in the home and classroom. The book’s Note to Adults identifies these stages: Anger, Shock, Denial, Depression, Regression (added for kids), Bargaining, and Acceptance.

Every experience is different. There is no formula for the order, duration, or number of stages experienced. Hence, each stage is imbedded in the story, opening the door for dialogue between adult and child. When read in classrooms by a teacher or guidance counselor, a more sensitive school culture is cultivated.

The number of vulnerable kids needing such resources is staggering. A 2010 study showed that more than 1 million children ages 6-11 lived with a cancer survivor in the United States. Cancers among Spanish-speaking women and men are escalating at alarming rates. It is estimated that Latin America shall see 1.6 million people

diagnosed annually as of 2030. In Lisa’s last year, she and I worked with professional translators on a cultural Spanish translation (though it has yet to be published).

We wanted this educational book to be given to as many deserving cancer patients and their families as possible. During this past holiday season, thousands of books were donated to 40 hospital cancer centers in Lisa’s memory, thanks to the Association of Community Cancer Centers (ACCC). Yet there is still more to do, more families to support, and more li’l hearts to help heal,

wherever they live in this world.Lisa and I understood that throwing a hat party is not realistic

for everyone. It was our literary device to convey the importance of opening communication lines and empowering kids during these medical and family crises. We created additional ideas for easy, affordable, home-based activities to empower kids, such as Leavin’ Love Notes; A ‘Spot of Spa’; Belly Laughter Re-Runs; A Poetry Party, and more. They can be found online at: www.momofmanyhats.com/Ideas_and_Activities.html.

This example of Lisa’s legacy, “A Mom of Many Hats,” was a literary journey. The Hane family, Caroline, and I hope that our story continues to soften the disruptive and scary journey for the countless families around the world facing cancer.

Our collective intention was to educate and empower children, encouraging them to open up

about their feelings and thoughts, questions and worries.

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