By Jester Press Staff Reporter

Since the departure of the lastSheriff of Greenwoodshire,there hath been a steady rise ingambling and brawling. Mostrecent of these wast but a dayback when someone, called JackB. Nimble, wast said to have usedloaded dice at the friendly gameat the Artists’ Garret. This winby this said Jack didst cause anuproar that could be heard at thetowne center. Twas said that theParker, Roderick, did lose him agoodly amount and wast mostwroth for the loss. It waslikewise said that after the hastyexit by one Jack B. Nimble a pairof loaded dice be found in thealley behind the Artists’ Garret.The Lady Olivia’s Parker,Roderick, then took it uponhimself to find this Jack andpunish him for his crimes, asthere was no Sheriff inGreenwood.

Not long after there were founda note at the Jester Press officepenned by none other thanZoltan the Gypsy Chief, sayingthat he had treated this Jack for ablack eye and multiple bruises.The note also sayith that this Jackwere intent to fleeGreenwoodshire post haste.Further Zoltan did note that Jackhad been dealt with by theParker, Roderick. The JesterPress confirms that this notewast in fact from Zoltan asenclosed with the note wastseveral samples of a very tastytea for the editor and staff.

The Jester Press is mostconcerned with the welfare ofthe residents of Greenwoodshireand do here request an audiencewith Her Royal Magestie whenShe doth visit our shire to plead

for the appointment of a newSheriff. It hath been said thatthe Honorable Kenneth Lattinhath come forward to offer hisservices. The Jester Press showsno partiality and will encourageany other to come forwardshould they feel they are qualifiedfor this position. (Ed. Note: withthe exclusion of course of anyrelatives or employees of theLady Olivia)

Tis true that Greenwood hathhad some wondrous odd Sheriffsin its past. There was FentonMudge, who were sentenced byGlorianna Herself for beingsome sort of miscreant.Unfortunately there was aproblem reading what the scribehad wrote, and the sentence wastunderstood that Fenton shouldwear a noose about his neck untilhe were dead. This did he so doin obedience to Her RoyalMajesty’s command. We dobelieve that the rope wast indeedcremated along with SheriffFenton whence he did pass. (Ed. Note: Fenton was notburned at the stake after hisdeath. That wast a vile rumorcreated by the followers of St.Fester)

Whilst it is most hoped for thatthere will be some legal recourseinstituted again inGreenwoodshire soon, the dailybrawls are now drawing a bettingcrow from folks of other shireswho are traveling to Greenwoodto watch and bet accordingly.The hostels and pubs are makinga great profit and the Sisters ofPerpetual Aggravation hath aplan of setting up a hospital,howsoever Her Royal Magesty bedue to arrive annon and thesebrawls must not continue whilstShe be here.

Special Event at GreenwoodFaireHer Serene Highness, TatiannaAnastasia has sent one of hercousins, His Royal HighnessSasha, A Prince of the NorseKingdom of Elfheim, who is amost sterling Archer, as a newemissary to Her Royal MajestyElizabeth (Ed. Note: God Savethe Queen). He is very interestedin humans, and wishes to makefriends with all the people of HerMajesty’s realm. (Ed. Note: Wehope that he doesn’t have anyPixies in his train) To aid in thishe is presenting a CostumeContest to entertain Her Majestyand her people on Saturday. Hispresentation is scheduled for fourof the clock, and promises to bequite amazing.

Many of the local Merchants hadlearned of this contest anddonated gifts as prizes to thewinners.Horsing Round is donating a$15.00 gift cardCinders Closet is donating a$50.00 gift cardRenee Wasson is donating a hairpinDIY Chainmail set,Ken Lattin for sheriff is donatingOld Coins, Hobbit Rune Stone,Dragon Dagger, DragonFountain, Harry Potter Wand,Misc ToysAdventures Underground isdonating a $50.00 gift card

The Prince is expecting manygoodly residents and visitors toparticipate in this year’s contest.The categories are Nobles,Merchants, Peasants, Armor,Children’s clothing. The judgesare Her Royal Magesty Elizabeth(Ed. Note: God save the Queen), Lady Devona Bandridge andWeapons Master to the DowagerBaroness Olivia, Otto Walther.All are encouraged to attend andcompete this first GreenwoodFaire Costume Contest. Theapplications for the contest are atthe Greenwood Stage. Ask forLady Mary.

By a Jester Press Staff Reporter

It has been reported unto theJester that due to the increase ofgambling, and the resultantbrawling, in Greenwood Shire,there is a need for both a hospiceand a hospital. Therefore due toa concern for the poor and ailingthus hast these organizationsdeveloped a joint plan to openboth a hostel for theseunfortunates. Thus the plans forthe poor tis meet considering theamount of injured in the dailybrawls.

The local Inns, such as the Boar’sHead, have rooms filled all weeklong with visitors from near byshires and there hast been noroom for the poor and injuredfrom the gambling and brawls.The Jester Press hath beenadvised that the Boar’s Headhath raised their rates for justsleeping in the common room.

In a recent development therehath been an interest inproviding a purse for the manmost oft walking away un-injuredfrom these brawls. To preventany cheating the Adherents of St.Festus will monitor the brawls tobe sure that the un-injured mandidst in fact engage in thedonnybrook. Several of thetavern owners are consideringputting together the prize for aweekly winner. The Sisters ofPerpetual Aggravation wouldstnot consider a purse for anywoman brawler as they saith tisinappropriate. Instead they areoffering a medal to be worn bythe winner.

The Jester Press doth believe thatboth of these ideas cast

Greenwood in an unpleasantlight, but must admit they do

have merit.

A fresh batch of participants inthe Captain Beamish School ofNavigation have become lostwhile proceeding from theclassroom lecture area locatedabove one of the docksidetaverns and the practical trainingportion located onboard a shipanchored along the Humber.Attempts have been made to takethese future navigators intoprotective custody and to guidethem to the ship so they maycontinue their training. However,these attempts have beenresisted, and provedunsuccessful.On one occasion, a student hadbeen apprehended but wriggledfree from his captors and ran offin a direction away from the river.If anyone sees these students,they should approach withcaution, keeping a calmdemeanor, and try to gently herdthem toward the river.It is further suggested that tidbitsof food may be used to lurethem along closer to the docksand back on course

Welcome Ye unto Ye 31st AnnualMerrie Greenwood Faire

Brothers ofSt. Polly Esther,

Adherents ofSt. Festus of the Cudgel,

and The Sisters ofPerpetual Aggravation

plan Hostel andHospital together

September, 1585

Special Event

Costume Contest

At Greenwood Faire

Hear Ye, Hear Ye,New Additions to Faire

Adventures Undergroundpresents

a 3 hour D&D game each day

Prince Sasha presents aCostume Contest

Saturday at 4