Week 15

Well done

Names of the best performed students in this task of your own class.

The following 7 pages contains the extractions from the homework of my own students. Please choose some good paragraphs written by your students to replace them.

Good hook & thesis statement Standing anywhere on the campus, you just have

no means of stopping boys and girls in pairs coming into your sight. It seems to have been a special scenery on campus for boys and girls to go hand in hand. However, maybe you will think I am the odd one out, I still want to say, being signle is much better than having a boy friend or a girl friend.

温莹莹

Good illustration

Firstly, an example can impress the children much more than a precept. Parents sometimes find it quite hard to make their kids to do what they are supposed to even if the parents have repeated the precepts over and over again, their children still do not realize the value of the precepts, which discourage their parents so much. But how about setting a good example?

Here’s a father’s experience. One day when having a walk with his little son, he picked up a deserted paper bag and put it into a waste bin nearby. The next day while taking a walk with his son as usual, he was surprised to find his son picked up an abandoned plastic bag and put it into a waste bin. He couldn’t believe his eyes at all! For times, he had preached his son to keep clean, but his son had never listened to him. At that time, he realized that a good example was better than a good precept.

吴惠华

Please have a check –

Have you included any examples in the main body of your homework?

If you have, please mark it with a delta (Δ) .

Good thesis response & so-what

In a word, winter is better than summer because in this season, the relationship between people is closer, the cold days are easier to weather and people are having a better appetite. Think about these things the next time you are praising or complaining a season.

杜吉丽

Good thesis response & so-what

Being married, people can benefit from good health, financial advantages and guarantees to their children. Consider these reasons when you happen to be at the crossroads of marriage and cohabitation. If you want to enjoy a happy and stable life, marriage should be your choice.

黎洁媛

errors

Since I was a little child, I was told that what should do and what should not do.

When I was a little child, I was often told what should be done and what should not be done.

细节支持句型 : 扩展与例证有机结合detailed support: combination of devel

opment and illustration

This does not mean that thinking must always be conscious. The evidence that the unconscious mind can join in purposeful mental activity is overwhelming. The most dramatic example of this is the fact that insights often come to us when we are no longer working on a problem.

Please write a similar paragraph in class using the underlined expressions.

细节支持句型 : 例证detailed support: illustration

As an illustration of the benefits to host the 2000 Summer Olympics, we may see more than a billion dollars the victor is sure to land in television and advertising revenue, plus the inestimable prestige of holding the first Olympiad of the next millennium. No wonder it has been a fierce competition.

Please write a similar paragraph in class using the underlined expressions.

A summary of the five-paragraph argumentative writing

1) A vivid hook is used in the first paragraph and then focus is put on the thesis.

2) The following paragraphs are the development of the thesis statement, with each paragraph beginning with a topic sentence.

3) Each topic sentence is supported by different rhetorical modes, such as illustration, definition, cause-effect, comparison/contrast or classification.

4) The first sentence of the last paragraph responds to the thesis statement in the first paragraph.

5) The article can be finished by several humorous sentences as the so-what.

Input reading The sample article is a magazine

argumentative article, which is written in a free way.

As we can see, this article, though freely written, does not diverge from the layout of English argumentative writing at all.

It is composed of ten-plus paragraphs. The layout remains the same when the analysis is made.

Profits of Praise

Please read it by yourself first.

Rhetorical analysis

Paragraphs 1-3

From paragraph one to three, the author’s personal experience is told, with narration as the rhetorical mode.

This part serves as a hook.

It was the end of my exhausting first day as waitress in a busy New York restaurant. My cap had gone awry, my apron was stained, my feet ached. The loaded trays I carried felt heavier and heavier. Weary and discouraged, I didn’t seem able to do anything right. As I made out a complicated check for a family with several children who had changed their ice-cream order a dozen times, I was ready to quit.

Then the father smiled at me as he handed me my tip. “Well done,” he said. “You’ve looked after us really well.”

Suddenly my tiredness vanished. I smiled back, and later, when the manager asked me how I’d like my first day, I said, “Fine!” Those few words of praise had changed everything.

paragraph 4 Thesis is stated.

The author uses literary language with abundant metaphors.

Though it is not as stiff as five-paragraph argumentative writing, the rhetorical modes

still remain to be definition and comparison/contrast.

Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellows the warm sunshine of praise.

Main body

From the fifth paragraph, the topic of each paragraph is pointed out in the

first sentence in a natural way, which means the main body begins. This part

continues till paragraph twelve.

The main body falls down into two sections .

One begins from paragraph five to paragraph nine, which is corresponding to the second part of the thesis statement: “…while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellows the warm sunshine of praise.”

The other section is from paragraph ten to paragraph twelve, which is corresponding to the first part of the thesis statement: “Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it”. As we can see, in terms of structure this article is developed around the thesis.

paragraphs 5

The support in paragraph five belongs to illustration, with narration as the

rhetorical mode and the last sentence as wrap-up.

Why — when one word can bring such pleasure? A friend of mine who travels widely always tries to learn a little of the language of any place she visits. She’s not much of a linguist, but she does know how to say one word — “beautiful” — in several languages. She can use it to a mother holding her baby, or to a lonely salesman fishing out pictures of his family. The ability had earned her friends all over the world.

paragraphs 6

The support in paragraph six belongs to development, with

comparison/contrast and cause/effect as the rhetorical

modes.

It’s strange how chary we are about praising. Perhaps it’s because few of us know how to accept compliments gracefully. Instead, we are embarrassed and shrug off the words we are really so glad to hear. Because of this defensive reaction, direct compliments are surprisingly difficult to give. That is why some of the most valued pats on the back are those which come to us indirectly, in a letter or passed on by a friend. When one thinks of the speed with which spiteful remarks are conveyed, it seems a pity that there isn’t more effort to relay pleasing and flattering comments.

paragraphs 7

The support in paragraph seven belongs to illustration, with parallel examples and rhetorical question

as the rhetorical modes.

It’s especially rewarding to give praise in areas in which effort generally goes unnoticed or unmentioned. An artist gets complimented for a glorious picture, a cook for a perfect meal. But do you ever tell your laundry manger how pleased you are when the shirts are done just right? Do you ever praise your paper boy for getting the paper to you in time 365 days a year?

paragraphs 8

The support in paragraph 8 belongs to development with illustration used sometimes.

Praise is particularly appreciated by those doing routine jobs: gas-station attendants, waitresses — even housewives. Do you ever go into a house and say, “What a tidy room”? Hardly anybody does. That’s why housework is considered such a dreary grind. Comment is often made about activities which are relatively easy and satisfying, like arranging flowers; but not about jobs which are hard and dirty, like scrubbing floors. Shakespeare said, “Our praises are our wages.” Since so often praise is the only wage a housewife receives, surely she of all people should get her measure.

The four-step mode in this paragraph is quite special, sharing similarity to the traditional structure in Chinese writing. The first sentence (topic sentence) develops slowly until the last word points out the central topic “housewives”. This is called introduction. Illustrations around the topic sentence are given in sentences two, three and four.

This serves as elucidation of the theme, with the format of question, answer and conclusion. The fifth sentence further develops the topic, which is about another kind of activities that will easily win the praise. This is called transition to another viewpoint, with comparison/contrast as the rhetorical mode. Sentence six (quotation) and sentence seven (reason plus conclusion) are the response to the first sentence. This goes back to the central topic about “housewives” again. It is called summing-up.

paragraphs 9

Development and illustration are used in the support in paragraph nine. Contrast

is used in the second sentence in this paragraph. Examples are given in the

way of narration in the following sentences.

Mothers know instinctively that for children an ounce of praise is worth a pound of scolding. Still, we’re not always as perceptive as we might be about applying the rule. One day I was criticizing my children for squabbling. “Can you ever play peacefully?” I shouted. Susanna looked at me quizzically. “Of course we can,” she said. “But you don’t notice us when we do.”

paragraphs 10

Illustration is used in paragraph ten and the rhetorical modes are

narration and quotation.

Teachers agree about the value of praise. One teacher writes that instead of drowning students’ compositions in critical red ink, the teacher will get far more constructive results by finding one or two things which have been done better than last time, and commenting favourably on them. “I believe that a student knows when he has handed in something above his usual standard,” writes the teacher, “and that he waits hungrily for a brief comment in the margin to show him that the teacher is aware of it, too.”

The interesting thing is that in paragraph ten how teachers comment on the students’ works is mentioned, which happens to have the same view as that of the length approach to writing.

paragraphs 11

In paragraph eleven the support belongs to illustration, with

process as the rhetorical mode.

Behavioural scientists have done countless experiments to prove that any human being tends to repeat an act which has been immediately followed by a pleasant result. In one such experiment, a number of schoolchildren were divided into three groups and given arithmetic tests daily for five days. One group was consistently praised for its previous performance; another group was criticized; the third was ignored.

paragraphs 12

The support in paragraph twelve belongs to illustration, with

comparison/contrast as the rhetorical mode.

Not surprisingly, those who were praised improved dramatically. Those who were criticized improved also, but not much. And the scores of the children who were ignored hardly improved at all. Interestingly the brightest children were helped just as much by criticism as by praise, but the less able children reacted badly to criticism, needed praise the most. Yet the latter are the very youngsters who, in most schools, fail to get the pat on the back.

paragraphs 13-14

Paragraphs thirteen and fourteen are equivalent to the last one of the five-

paragraph argumentative writing in terms of structure. This part comprises thesis

restatement and so-what.

To give praise costs the giver nothing but a moment’s thought and a moment’s effort — perhaps a quick phone call to pass on a compliment, or five minutes spent writing an appreciative letter. It is such a small investment — and yet consider the results it may produce. “I can live two months on a good compliment,” said Mark Twain.

So, let’s be alert to the small excellences around us — and comment on them. We will not only bring joy into other people’s lives, but also, very often, added happiness into our own.

The author makes great effort to write “so-what” in paragraph fourteen. The rhetorical mode is suggestion. The last sentence highlights the value of praise, which is profound and meaningful.

Layout Layout is a must in

training argumentative writing, for it greatly differs from the traditional structure of Chinese one (of course they also share similarities). If the layout in English writing is not clearly stated, the different discourse derived from native language will be negatively transferred in the students’ compositions.

Suggested writing task:

Write a composition of more than 10paragraphs/ 500 words with “The profits of…” as part of the title. You need to decide on the subject matter by yourself, and include the hook, thesis, topic sentences, support (development or illustration), wrap-up, thesis restatement, and so-what in your article.

Discussion

Genre analysis for

Profits of Forgivenesson P 164

Your homework

Write a composition of more than 10 paragraphs/ 500 words with “The profits of…” as part of the title. You need to decide on the subject matter by yourself, and include the hook, thesis, topic sentences, support, wrap-up, thesis restatement, and so-what in your article.