practitionerspath.files.wordpress.com · web viewwhen aliens take your friends and leave jerks at...

When aliens take your

friends and leave jerks at

your lunch table.

(a survival

Table of ContentsSection Page Number Introduction 3Pre-exercise ‘A’ 4Exercise 1 5Exercise 2 6Exercise 3 7Exercise 4 8Exercise 5 10Exercise 5.1 12Post-exercise ‘B’ 13Instruction guide* 15

* If you did not receive this as part of a package (with art/craft supplies), go to the instruction guide on page 15 for a listing of supplies you need to complete the activities in this booklet

2 © 2012 by SmarttChick, Pittsburgh, PA

Ever walk into school, thinking it was an otherwise normal day, …

… just to find out that the people who invited you to sit at their lunch table last week, or share their library kiosk the week before suddenly act as if you have the plague? Almost overnight, it seems that no one wants to hang out, or even be seen in the same room with you. Even teachers and other adults feel distant and cold.

That happened to me in high school. One day I had many friends, and enjoyed band practice, lunch hour and time after school. Then, for no particular reason, I showed up at school one day and everyone I had ever engaged in the least bit of friendly interaction turned their heads and would not say hi, or even look at me. People acted as though they had lost their hearing when I asked for something simple like a piece of paper, and crowds of people parted in the band room or cafeteria as if I was the village leper.

I spent a lot of years wondering what I had done to deserve that treatment. It was a waste of time and in my late 30s, I finally figured out that it didn’t matter – that no one deserves to be treated that way. I was lucky – in high school I had a creative shelter in which to hide when I was bullied, and it sustained, and perhaps even saved me from despair during a very difficult time. I made jewelry, learned to macramé, decorated t-shirts, re-taught myself how to crochet, and remembered the sewing skills I was taught in Home Ec.

It’s not always fun to be a teenager and in fact, it can seem like the most difficult time in your life. This activity pack is dedicated to anyone who has experienced being shunned, left out, ignored, or excluded – in the hopes that while your “friends” figure out their issues, you can love yourself through the experience, and get back in touch with the wonderful person you see in the mirror each morning – YOU!

You are beautiful and loved by many – don’t let anyone change your beliefs about you, ever.


Pre-Exercise ‘A’Take one of the index cards in your folder/packet.

Take a few moments to think about how you would describe yourself and on the back of the card, write down a few words (adjectives) that you would use to describe yourself.

Using crayons, markers or other write the words, ‘I feel…’ and then add one of the words you have listed on the back of your card.

The only “rule” is that you capture how you are feeling right now, as you are sitting down and reading these instructions.

You can write 1, 2 or multiple ‘I feel…’ statements. Once you are done, put this card back in your folder/packet, and we will visit it again later.


Exercise 1In ancient times, established families and households often had a unique Coat of Arms, or crest that symbolized their position, accomplishments or position. For this exercise, you are to create a modern version of a coat of arms, and only for you!

Get a piece of scrap paper and sketch out some draft designs for your shield. You can use symbols for things in which you participate, like sports, music or dance; or celebrate your heritage with flags, sayings or other artifacts. If you have pets, or just love cats and dogs (or birds, ferrets, lizards,….etc.) include a photo or picture of your pets, or cute cartoon pet clip-art you can find online.

In your packet you will find a few colored index cards, some white card-stock paper and markers, stickers and glitter. Once you have drafted your design on a scrap paper, pick one of the cards and create your unique design, and don’t forget to add some words to your design that describe you. Words like: Super! Awesome! Creative! Kind! Generous! ((you get the picture))

Don’t contain yourself to the supplies in this packet. Look around your room for beads, cut out words from a magazine, or find pictures on the internet.

Requirement: only positive thoughts, memories and content should be included in this project, and you should be having fun with this! If you’re not feeling it, put it away til you can at least appreciate your creativity.

Once you complete your unique design, place it in a prominent place in your room, or locker where you can see it every day. Each time you look at it remember your creativity, and say to yourself: “I’m really creative and talented!” ((or something like that)).

Unique lettering to use: http://www.doodle-art-alley.com/doodle-lettering.html


http://www.doodle-art-alley.com/doodle-lettering.html

Exercise 2You are beautiful and unique. In fact, we all are, but sometimes even the most self-assured among us needs a reminder.

This kit contains beads and stretchy string. Take a piece of paper (thin strip) and measure the circumference of your wrist (wrap the paper strip around your wrist). Add about 2 inches to this wrist-sized paper (you can also use string to measure). Cut the stretchy cord to this same length, and tie a knot on one end leaving about a 1-inch tail. Open the packet of small beads and decide if you want to create a pattern of color, or string them randomly in a pot-pourri fashion, letting the colors fall into place with no particular pattern.

When you have strung the beads along most of the cord, and you have about 1-inch of cord left, stop adding beads, and tie both ends of the stretchy cord using a square knot.

- A square knot is tied by holding the 2 ends, one in each hand, and laying the end in your RIGHT hand over top of the end in your left hand, wrapping the end under, then laying the end in your LEFT hand over top of the end in your right hand, wrapping the end under then pulling both tight. (here’s a YouTube video showing this process with a beaded bracelet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MlbDLrt-lo)

Trim close to the knot (but not too close or it can come untied).

Wear your new creation and each time you look down and see it, say to yourself: “Look at this cool/funky/awesome/colorful bracelet – I made it!”

These beads make great ankle bracelets, too.

Pass it on…

Now, think of someone you know who could use a smile, and make a bracelet for them.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MlbDLrt-lo

Exercise 3Time to color!

Yoga is popular as a way to focus on certain body movements and to calm the mind and nourish the soul. Coloring isn’t yoga but you can certainly lose yourself in the activity of coloring, reaching an almost “zen” level of calm.

This packet contains colored pencils and crayons, and several patterns to color, as well as a web site where you can find many more (free!) coloring pages.

For this exercise, try to be in a place that is quiet where you can color, and think without being disturbed.

While you are coloring, let your mind wander and recall as many positive memories as you can. If a negative memory or thought comes into your mind, imagine a traffic cop with a white glove and a whistle saying, STOP! No negative thoughts on this street today – send them back where they came from and move on to another thought that is pleasant, and positive.

Color as many pictures as you want, and allow yourself to go into this coloring zone as often as you need to in order to center your thoughts, and focus on the good people, places, experiences and other things in your life. Hang one (or more) of the pictures in your room, in your locker or place in your notebook where you can see it regularly and remember the peaceful interlude you enjoyed while coloring that picture.

For more coloring pages, go to: http://www.doodle-art-alley.com/coloring-pages.html


http://www.doodle-art-alley.com/coloring-pages.html

http://www.doodle-art-alley.com/coloring-pages.html

Exercise 4Learn something new!

When I was about 10 years old, my grandmother taught me how to crochet a chain. My grandparents lived on a farm and there was a lot of work to do, especially in the Summer when my sister and I would spend a few weeks with my grandparents each year.

Looking back, I think my Grandma was trying to keep me out of her hair so she could get her work done, but she taught me to crochet. That Summer I crocheted many “worms” and “snakes” for bookmarks, hair ties and bracelets. It was years later til I truly appreciated the gift Grandma had given me. Now each time I crochet a chain, or a baby blanket, I remember that Grandma taught me the first, foundational stitch giving me the gift of endless creating over my lifetime. Since then I have crocheted baby blankets, hats, scarves and more and have found the process both comforting and satisfying.

You can find the Lion Brand Yarn ‘Learn to Crochet’ guide here: http://www.lionbrand.com/faqImages/learnToCrochet.pdf

Review the first few steps to learn how to make a basic chain (that’s all we’ll do in this exercise, but feel free to learn more when you’re ready!).If it would help to see someone actually crocheting a chain (instead of static pictures), check out the first minute of this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRsGeVk073w

Here’s another one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqca00LdmAc&feature=related

Take the yarn in this activity pack and make a chain as long as you think it needs to be for a book tail, or mark. Once you get it to that length, cut the yarn about 3 inches from the last chain, and thread the end through the last crochet loop and pull tight, to knot. Using the larger beads in your pack, decorate your book tail with a bead or 2 on each end. You can buy more yarn at your local craft store, as well as more beads. Let your creative side go and have fun. Old buttons are nice additions to the ends of these, too.

Make some for you, and make some to give away.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqca00LdmAc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRsGeVk073w

http://www.lionbrand.com/faqImages/learnToCrochet.pdf

*IF* you already crochet, challenge yourself by learning a new stitch, making something you’ve never tried, or crocheting in a new medium (wire, strips of cloth, hemp – anything!)

Some examples (book ‘tails’)

Download the complete Learn to Crochet guide at http://www.lionbrand.com/faqImages/learnToCrochet.pdf

For TONS of free crochet patterns, Google “free crochet patterns” or start here: http://crochet.about.com/od/freecrochetpatterns/ss/free-crochet-patterns.htm


http://crochet.about.com/od/freecrochetpatterns/ss/free-crochet-patterns.htm

http://www.lionbrand.com/faqImages/learnToCrochet.pdf

Exercise 5Forgiving someone who has hurt us deeply releases us from the pain and hurt they have caused in our lives. This exercise is not one you should attempt until you are in a stronger place, and have worked through most of the previous exercises, maybe more than once.

- - -

Imagine the person responsible for most of your pain right now. This may be a mean teacher, or a thoughtless friend or a former boyfriend – anyone who has turned from a friend to someone who causes you pain. In your mind, see them fading from 3-D into a 2-dimensional paper doll.

Take the paper doll outline (below), and color or draw this person. It’s important to keep this drawing neutral or even positive if you can. No negative markings or harsh portrayals. Cut the figure out, and think about having a conversation with the person (the paper doll) where you forgive them. This doesn’t mean you are ‘OK’ with how they have acted, or that you are available again for them to torment.

It does mean that you are no longer invested in allowing them to intrude on your life. If I were to have that conversation with the paper doll representing someone I needed to forgive, it might go something like this:

“In the past we shared some really great times. I remember when we met, and how much fun we had at the amusement park last summer, and at Sam’s party, and just hanging out. I’m sad that those times are over, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt by your behavior, because I am. I’m not sure why you chose to treat me so badly, or say those awful things to me and about me to other people. I’m sorry you had so much hate or pain in your life that you felt the need to unload it on someone else instead of finding a more constructive way to process it. I hope you can figure it out, and I wish you no harm. I forgive you for mistreating me, and I release you from my life.”

Keep the paper doll in your room, in a notebook, or locker until you begin to feel some peace about the situation. Once you feel that this change has begun, it’s time to release the paper doll.

*** Make sure there are no names or identifying marks on the paper doll!


The paper doll can now be left somewhere away from you, and where you spend your time, finalizing the distance you are putting between yourself, your peace of mind and this person’s behavior. Here are some suggestions:

- Inside a book in the library (between the pages)- On a tray or table at a restaurant, or fast food venue- In an empty locker at school- In a dressing room at the mall- Other similar neutral areas (make sure you do not litter as you leave

it)

When you prepare to leave the paper doll, think or say: “I wish you well”, then place it there and leave. Remember – it’s important that this be a positive, anonymous paper doll. If someone finds the doll, they should see only a generic paper doll, with no words, names or negative marks on it.

* I recommend tracing these onto other paper so you can use this activity/exercise again, if necessary


Exercise 5.1Once you have completed the paper doll exercise, it’s time to focus on your peace of mind.

Take one of the white cards from the packet and notice the words that mean ‘Peace’ in different languages (below).

Select one or several versions of the word ‘Peace’ and create a picture or design with the word(s).

Put it in a prominent place so each day you can contemplate what ‘peace’ feels like in your life since forgiving and letting go.


Paix

Pax Friede

শান্তি�

平和

мир

Post-Exercise ‘B’You’ve come a long way from the day you first opened this packet. Hopefully you’ve reconnected with some of the many wonderful things about you and grown strong in knowing that you have the power to be happy, create beauty, forgive, move on and experience peace.

At the beginning of this mini-journey, you wrote an index card and tucked it away. Find that card and look at what you wrote.

Do you feel any differently today?

Can you re-write that card today with a more positive statement?

- Take a new card and write 3 positive ‘I feel…’ statements.- In a few hours, or a couple days or even a week or so, take one of

those ‘I feel…’ statements, and turn it into an ‘I Am…’ statement.o This statement should be a strong, positive statement of the

truth about you. o If you need help, the word list below will provide some hints.

- Decorate this statement of truth, and place it somewhere that you can see it every day.

Word List

Beautiful

Capable

Caring

Compassionate

Cooperative

Creative

Deserving

Determined

Efficient

Filled with Life

Forgiving

Fun!

Graceful

Happy

Healthy

Helpful

Intelligent

Joyful

Loving

Open-minded

Peaceful

Positive

Powerful

Smart


EpilogueBy now, it is my hope that you have found each day to be a little easier. We all experience times in life where we find ourselves alone and seemingly without love or support. This activity pack is one small tool that can help you spend time alone without “going negative” and to channel your time into constructive and creative tasks. I suggest that you take the “seeds” planted with these activities and grow your own “tool kit” to carry with you through the hard times that sometimes crop up along our path on life’s journey. Here are some other areas to explore:

- Mosaics- Painting wooden shapes- Candle making (soy candle wax is readily available in craft stores

and environmentally-friendly!)- Knitting!- Sewing- Cross Stich or other Needlework- Macramé (old school but it’s making a comeback in some circles) - Doll making- Scrapbooking- (fill in the blank _____________________)

I have knitted and crocheted and beaded my way past broken hearts, friendship trouble, job losses and other challenges along my own path. There’s nothing like throwing yourself into a creative project to take your mind off troubles, and it’s restorative, or healing, to look at a finished project and wear it –or- even better, to give it away.

I encourage you to also share your experience with others who may need time away from the social scene.

Namaste! (or loosely translated, the light within me honors the beautiful and unique light that is you)

For a new activity packet, contact: [email protected] or visit my web site

http://smarttchick.com/2013/03/12/when-aliens-take-your-friends/

mailto:[email protected]

When aliens take your friends – Instructions / Activity Guide

InstructionsIf you’re reading this, you are probably looking for some way to reach out to a young person in need. That someone may even be you. This “survival guide” was created for middle school to high school age girls as a way to help them navigate what can often be rough waters. The intent of this packet is to help young women reconnect with themselves, and the good inside of them when the external reinforcements (that we all seek in our school years) have disappeared or worse: turned against them.

The following list of supplies is a recommendation, based on the exercises included in this activity packet. The concept here is that the activity packet itself is easily distributed through electronic means, and will allow people to access it from anywhere with mail service or an internet connection. The activity packet is free for anyone to use and share. I bless your use of this material with love and know that only good can come from your use of it.

Recommended supplies

Index cards, lined or unlined; any color- Quantity: 3 – 5

Card stock, white; approx. 5” x 7”- Quantity: 3 - 5

Assortment of colorful writing/drawing tools (available from craft supply or “dollar” stores)- Crayons- Markers- Colored pencils- Glitter pens, etc.

Stickers, assorted small (decorative)

Packet of beads appropriate for stringing on a bracelet- I recommend providing enough beads for the recipient to be able to make a few bracelets. - I use the glass seed beads (6/0) in assorted colors which come in 3oz packages (~$3)

o One pack provides beads for several bracelets


Stretchy beading “string” (available in the bead department in craft stores)- I recommend 0.7mm size

A few larger beads (less than 10) that can be strung on yarn- Larger bead holes

A skein of yarn- Don’t think “Granny’s afghan”; think funky, modern (fun!) scarf!- Sport weight or worsted weight- Multi-colored is more fun than single color- Avoid “busy” yarn with fuzzies, nubs or other texture- When in doubt – ask someone in the store selling the yarn – we knitting / crocheting types

are very friendly and helpful

A crochet hook- These come in plastic and aluminum, most commonly- I think the aluminum ones are easier to use for beginners- Sizes are letters: look for one that is a G, H, or I size.

Other helpful hintsThe Lion Brand ‘Learn to Crochet guide is available for free from their website (link included in packet, Exercise 4, (p. 7). While the recipient can navigate to the site and access it themselves, providing a printed version for them is another option.

DeliveryThere’s nothing more uplifting than a brightly-colored gift bag with goodies tucked inside. This can be as simple or as elaborate as you want to make it.

One option is to purchase a colorful, 2-pocket folder for the paper items and a coordinating colored gift bag for the non-paper items.

There’s no wrong way to deliver this as long as your intent is loving and peaceful.

Disclaimer: this activity packet is not intended as a replacement for professional medical or counseling / therapeutic services, and should not be used as such.


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