· web viewroll your cursor over each highlighted word in your revised memoir (attempt #2) to...

**THIS STUDENT

GUIDE MUST BE

RETURNED TO YOUR TEACHER BY THE END OF THIS UNIT**

Name: _______________________ Student ID#: _____________ Teacher: Course: _______________Period: _______________________

Improving your Personal Memoir through Peer Review

Instructions: Submit your previously written memoirs to the Criterion Online Writing Evaluation Service and then follow this guide to improve your memoirs based on Peer Review and Criterion’s automated feedback.

Your previously written memoir…

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Copyright © 2015 by Educational Testing Service. All rights reserved. ETS, the ETS logo, LISTENING, LEARNING, LEADING and CRITERION are registered trademarks of ETS in the United States of America and other countries.

**should have had a So What? What is the message you are trying to get across to your reader?

**Slowed down the moment and EXPLODED IT!

**was not an essay; however, you remembered to include proper paragraphing.

**was written in first person since it is YOUR story.

**was limited to 1 page single-spaced or 2-3 pages double-spaced.

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Table of Contents

The calendar below will help you to understand the activities your teacher will be assigning to your class for homework and the work you will miss if you’re absent.

Homework Date Activity Activity Details

4/4/16 1 Confirm Access to Criterion assignment4/5/16 2 Submit previously written memoirs to Criterion (Attempt 1)4/6/16 3 PR (using Activity 3 Comment Library Categories in this

Guide)4/7/16 4 Review PR & Revise Memoir/Submit to Criterion (Attempt 2)4/8/16 5 PR (using Activity 3 Comment Library Categories in this

guide)4/11/16 6 Review PR & Revise Memoir/Submit to Criterion (Attempt 3)4/12/16 7 Review Criterion feedback & Revise Memoir/Submit to

Criterion (Attempt 4)4/13/16 8 Review the rubric and then assign scores to Peer Memoirs in

Criterion and give a self-score on a paper-copy of the Rubric

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Students Access Criterion®

*Email [email protected] for assistance.

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Activity 1 - Homework

4/4/16:Confirm Access

to Criterion Memoir Assignment

1. Using Firefox, go to Criterion at https://criterion.ets.org*If you do not have Firefox, then you may use Google Chrome or Safari.

2. Enter your User name and Password provided to you by your teacher in the Returning User Section as shown below.

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3. Set your Security Question and Answer as follows:Security Question: Favorite Job Security Question Answer: Learning

4. Click on your Criterion class from your Home page (see below):

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4/4/16:Confirm Access

to Criterion Memoir Assignment (continued)

5. In the following page, click on the Assignments tab to confirm that you see the Your Personal Memoir assignment listed.

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Do not begin working with your assignment.Email [email protected] if assistance is needed in completing Activity 1.

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4/5/16:Submit Personal Memoirs to Criterion

1. Repeat steps #1-5 in Activity 1 and then click on START RESPONSE in the Assignments tab.

You will NOT be able to complete the next steps if you are using Internet Explorer version 11. Please use Firefox.*If you do not have Firefox, then you may use Google Chrome or Safari.

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2. Highlight and copy (Ctrl+C) your previously written Personal Memoir from Google Docs. Then click your cursor in Criterion’s Response field and paste (Ctrl+V) your Memoir into Criterion.

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4/5/16:Submit

Personal Memoirs to Criterion (continued)

3. A pop up window will appear. AGAIN paste (Ctrl+V) your Memoir into the pop up window and then press OK.

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4. Submit your Memoir to Criterion (Criterion Attempt #1).

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4/6/16:Peer Review of

Memoirs

1. Return to the Assignments tab of your Criterion class and click on the hyperlinked name of a classmate in the Peer Review column to give feedback on his/her Memoir (Attempt #1).

2. Click on a word within your peer’s Memoir and then click ADD COMMENT.The word you highlight will

either be:

-a word at the beginning of a sentence or paragraph that you are giving feedback on

OR

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-a particular word within the sentence that you are giving feedback on

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Memoirs (continued)

3. Using the Peer Review Comment libraries on the following pages, type your feedback in the Manage Comments field and then click ENTER.

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4. Click SAVE when you are finished adding comments to your classmate’s Memoir.18


REPEAT Steps 1-4 until you have made Comments using the following Comment Libraries for every classmate in your Criterion Peer Review group.

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4/6/16:Peer Review of Memoirs (continued)

Directions: Using Library 1 and Library 2 on pages 10-12 of this packet, thoughtfully provide feedback to your classmates to help them know what’s working and to improve their writing.

From each library, select at least: ● 2 comments from the “needs improvement” column ● 1 from the “positive” column to help your peers know what’s working and to improve their writing

o For each comment, personalize it by adding additional details relating to your peer’s writing.

Example Comment: Your writing is really engaging! I especially like your use of character development because it helped me imagine how and why the people acted how they did.

Explanation: Comment from Library 1: “Your writing is really engaging! I especially like your use of” Added by the reviewer: “character development because it helped me imagine how and why the people acted how they did”

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Library 1: Defining and Understanding the Task*You can add to or change the words of a comment to best fit your partner’s writing.

POSITIVE (choose at least 2)

NEEDS IMPROVEMENT(choose at least 1)

Task● Your writing shows that you clearly

understand the task.

● Good job! You’ve fulfilled the basic requirements for this assignment.

● Good job! You’ve gone above the basic requirements for this assignment.

Task● This doesn’t sound like a memoir

because…

● This fulfills part of the assignment, but not all. You still need to ______.

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Reader/Audience Appeal● Your writing is really engaging! I especially

like how you....

Reader/Audience Appeal● Your story might be more engaging if it

included more …

Focus● Your memoir has a clear focus throughout.

Focus● Sometimes your story is hard to follow. It

got confusing when ________. Consider revising this part.

● I wasn’t sure why you included the part about _______. Either take that out or add more details to show the reader why it’s important to the story you’re telling.

● Your story would be easier to follow if you didn’t repeat information or cut out the irrelevant parts.

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Genre: Imaginative Story● The plot of your story is clear and complete.

● Your characters seem believable. I especially like how you describe [character] as ______.

● You maintain a consistent first-person point of view throughout the story.

Genre: Imaginative Story● The plot begins and then ends quickly. It

needs more development and elaboration. Consider describing _____ in more detail.

● The two main characters would be more believable if they _______. Consider adding to and revising the dialogue to show this.

Genre: Memoir● You chose an unusual [event/ experience] to

write about. No wonder it so memorable for you.

● What a(n) ______ experience! Your story taught me about ______.

Genre: Memoir● This is an interesting story, but did it really

happen to you? If so, you need to tell it from your own point of view.

● I’m not sure why this is an important experience for you to write about. I suggest

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● I like the way you showed how this experience affected not just you, but [someone else].

that you make the [main point/lesson you learned] more explicit.

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Library 2: Develop and Elaborate the Story*You can add to or change the words of a comment to best fit your partner’s writing.

POSITIVE(choose at least 2)


Coming up with the Story● You developed your characters really well.

I feel like they could be real people I know.

● The setting of the story is elaborated well, and I felt like I could see it all around me.

Coming up with the Story● Why did _____ do _________? It was hard

for me to understand their motivations. Maybe you could add more to the description to help the reader understand.

Developing the Story● I like how you described _____ with great

detail.

● You used a good mix of narration and dialogue throughout your story.

● You did a good job of using specific description words to set the mood of the

Developing the Story● It might have been more effective to have

elaborated on _____ in more detail. Consider adding this to your memoir.

● Using dialogue to have your characters talk directly to each other is a great way to break up your narration for the reader. Consider telling the reader exactly what the characters

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story. said to each other, especially [at this part of the story].

● You set a mood that seemed _____ at first, but your story’s plot was more ______. Consider revising your descriptive language to set a mood that goes with the action and feelings of the characters.

Literary Devices● It was clear to me that ____ was a symbol for

_____.

Literary Devices● I didn’t notice any symbols in your memoir. If

you meant to include one, think about what it was, how you intended to show it, what it stood for, and how it could carry through the memoir.

Activity 3 - Homework 4/6/16:Peer Review of Memoirs (continued)

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Activity 4 – Homework for

4/7/16 Review Peer

Feedback and Revise Memoirs

1. To review feedback your classmates have written on your own Memoir, you will need to access the Activity tab in your Criterion class. Then click on the last name of your classmate that is listed in the Reviewer column.

2. Your Personal Memoir (Attempt #1) will be shown in the following page. Roll your cursor over each highlighted word and your peer’s comment will display in a rollover message:

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4/7/16 Review Peer

Feedback and Revise Memoirs (continued)

3. To review feedback from a different peer, click on the Reviewer drop down menu and click on a different classmate’s name.

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4. Repeat the above steps (#1-3) until you have reviewed comments from ALL of your peers.

5. In Google Docs , revise your Memoir again to incorporate the feedback you viewed in Criterion from your peers.

6. Return to Criterion’s Assignments tab and click on START RESPONSE. *Do NOT click on Attempt #1.

You will NOT be able to complete the next steps if you are using Internet Explorer version 11. Please use Firefox.

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*If you do not have Firefox, then you may use Google Chrome or Safari.

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4/7/16 Review Peer

Feedback and Revise Memoirs (continued)

1. As before, copy your revised Personal Memoir from Google Docs. Then click your cursor in Criterion’s Response field, pressing (Ctrl+V) to trigger the pop up window. AGAIN, paste (Ctrl+V) your Memoir into the pop up window and then press OK.

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7. Submit your revised Memoir to Criterion (Attempt #2).

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Activity 5 - Homework 4/8/16:Peer Review of Memoirs

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1. Give feedback on your peers’

revised Memoirs

(Attempt #2) by again accessing the Assignments tab in your Criterion class and clicking on the hyperlinked name of a classmate in the Peer Review

column.

2. Click on a word within your peer’s Memoir and then click ADD COMMENT.

The word you highlight will

either be:

-a word at the beginning of a sentence or paragraph that you are giving feedback onOR-a particular word within the sentence that you are giving feedback on

Using the next set of Peer Review Comment Libraries shown below, type your feedback in the Manage Comments field and then click ENTER.

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4. Click SAVE when you are finished adding comments to your classmate’s Memoir.

REPEAT Steps 1-4 until you have made Comments using the following Comment Libraries for EVERY classmate in your Criterion Peer Review group.

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Memoirs (continued)

Directions: Using Library 3 and Library 4 on pages 18-19 of this packet, thoughtfully provide feedback to your classmates to help them know what’s working and to improve their writing.

From each library, select at least: ● 2 comments from the “needs improvement” column ● 1 from the “positive” column to help your peers know what’s working and to improve their writing

o For each comment, personalize it by adding additional details relating to your peer’s writing.

Example Comment: Your writing is really engaging! I especially like how your use of character development helped me imagine how and why the people acted how they did.

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Memoirs (continued)

Library 3: Story Structure*You can add to or change the words of a comment to best fit your partner’s writing.



Title, Lead, & Ending● The lead of your memoir really captured my

attention and made me want to keep reading the whole story.

● Your ending was effective and provided a good conclusion to the story because _____.

● As a reader, I felt satisfied with your memoir’s ending because ______.

● The title of your story really grabbed my attention because ______.

Title, Lead, & Ending● I read your memoir lead and see that you

have more of a newspaper lead (who, what, when, where, why). A suggestion I have is to make your memoir lead by starting with _____.

● I didn’t feel like your story was wrapped up with the way you ended it. I still wanted to know more about __________.

● The title doesn’t seem to draw the reader in. Have you thought about _______ as the title?

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The title of your story connects well with the story you’re trying to tell because _______.

● Your title doesn’t seem to connect much to the story you’re telling. Have you thought about ______ for a title?

Arc of the Story & Transitions● The arc of your story (the plot) helped keep

my interest.

● You did a good job of transitioning from one event to another.

● Your transition words and phrases helped signal that the action was changing.

Arc of the Story & Transitions● I became confused about the arc of your story

(the plot). Specifically, I had trouble with ____. It wasn’t easy to follow the events in your memoir because _____.

● I think you could do a better job transitioning from one event to another by adding details about ______.

● You could use more transition words to show the reader that there’s a change in your story. An example of where this would be useful is ________.

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Activity 5 - Homework 4/8/16:Peer Review of Memoirs (continued)

Foreshadowing, Flashback, & Extended Metaphor● I like how you foreshadowed [this event] by

writing about _____.

● The ______ helped to foreshadow _____ for me.

● When you included a flashback about ____, it helped me better understand [this character/event/action] because _____.

● I like how you used _____ as an extended metaphor for _____ throughout your story. You took a risk in your writing and it worked!

Foreshadowing, Flashback, & Extended Metaphor● I was surprised when ___ happened! You

could add foreshadowing in your story to help the reader better prepare for this by ______.

● I don’t understand why ___ (person) acted _____ to ______. Think about adding a flashback to explain what led the character to feel or act in such a way.

● I think you were trying to make _____ a metaphor or symbol for ______, but it confused me because __________.

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Library 4: Proofreading*You can add to or change the words of a comment to best fit your partner’s writing.



● Your memoir has only a few errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics.

● Your memoir has only a few typos; it shows evidence of careful proofreading.

● You have a good memoir, but it has errors in ______ that confused me while I read it. Go back and proofread for these errors and make corrections before submitting a final draft to the teacher.

● You have a lot of spelling typos in your essay. Don’t forget to fix these before you submit your final draft!

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4/11/16:Review Peer


1. To review peer feedback you will need to access the Activity tab in your Criterion class again. Then click on the name of your Peer that is listed in the Reviewer column next to your Attempt #2.

2. Roll your cursor over each highlighted word in your revised Memoir (Attempt #2) to view your peer’s comment in the rollover message. To review feedback from a different peer, click on the Reviewer drop down menu and click on a different classmate’s name.

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Activity 6 – Homework for 4/11/16Review Peer Feedback and Revise Memoirs (continued)

3. Repeat steps #1-2 until you have reviewed comments from ALL of your peers.

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4. In Google Docs, revise your Memoir again to incorporate the feedback you viewed in Criterion from your peers.

5. Return to Criterion’s Assignments tab and click on START RESPONSE. *DO NOT click on Attempt #1 or #2.

You will NOT be able to complete the next steps if you are using Internet Explorer version 11. Please use Firefox.*If you do not have Firefox, then you may use Google Chrome or Safari.

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6. As before, copy your revised Personal Memoir from Google Docs to paste your memoir into Criterion.

7. Submit your revised Memoir to Criterion (Attempt #3).

Activity 7 – Homework for 4/12/16

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Review Criterion


1. Navigate to the Assignments tab again and then click on Attempt #3 of your Memoir.

2. Click the REVISE button at the bottom left of your screen.

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4/12/16 Review

Criterion Feedback and Revise Memoirs (continued)

3. Click on components in the drop down menus for each Trait Category to review Criterion’s detections in your Memoir. Use the Response field on the right to make revisions that incorporate Criterion’s feedback before submitting your final Memoir to Criterion (Attempt #4).

Click SAVE frequently and do NOT click SUBMIT until you are finished making final revisions.

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*Click on the Writer’s Handbook button, if you need further information about Criterion’s detection.50


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4/13/16 Assigning

Scores to Peer Memoirs and Your Self Score

1. Assign scores to your peers’ final Memoirs (Attempt #4) by again accessing the Assignments tab of your Criterion class and clicking on the

hyperlinked name of a classmate in the Peer Review column.

2. Click on any word within your peer’s Memoir and then click: ADD COMMENT to enter your scores within the Manage Comments field.

Refer to the rubric on the following page when assigning scores to your peers’ Memoirs.52


Your Comment

should include the following:

-TITLE AND LEAD: (Assign a score between 1-4)-ELABORATION: (Assign a score between 1-4)-MEMOIR FEATURES: (Assign a score between 1-4)-ENDING: (Assign a score between 1-4)-ORGANIZATION: (Assign a score between 1-4)-SENTENCE STRUCTURE: (Assign a score between 1-4)-CONVENTIONS & GRAMMAR: (Assign a score between 1-4)

*No half scores are allowed. If you are unsure of what score to give a category, go lower!

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Activity 8 – Homework for 4/13/16 - Your

Self Score (continued)

Writing Rubric: Memoir after Peer ReviewNow, circle a score for yourself from 1-4 for EACH category below and then return this packet to your teacher.

CATEGORY Superior/Strong4

Adequate3

Partial2

Limited/Weak1

Content:TITLE & LEAD

●The title draws the reader into the story and fits well with the story being told.

●The lead creatively hooks the reader.

●The hook suggests or foreshadows a key idea or moment in the story.

● The title draws in the reader and relates to the story.

● The lead hooks the reader. ● The hook is relevant to a key idea

or moment in the story.

● The title draws in the reader but barely relates to the story. The lead may hook some readers.

● The hook has little to do with a key idea or moment in the story.

● There is no title, or the title is not interesting/related to the story.

● If there is a lead, it shows little if any effort to hook the reader.

● The introduction/opening has little or nothing to do with the story that follows.

Content:ELABORATION

The story…●Effectively describes an obstacle,

shows how it was overcome, and explains what was learned

●Is fully developed with a complete plot that feels resolved at the end

●Skillfully uses vivid language and specific details throughout

The story…● Clearly describes an obstacle, shows how it was overcome, and explains what was learned

●Adequately develops the story with a clear plot

●Uses vivid language and specific details appropriately

The story…● Describes an obstacle, shows how it was overcome, and explains what was learned

●Develops the story with a clear plot but doesn’t the story ends abruptly and/or doesn’t feel concluded

●Uses primarily general language and/or underdeveloped details

The story…● Barely describes an obstacle,

shows how it was overcome, and explains what was learned

●Minimally develops the story with little to no clear plot

●Uses few if any details. Primarily tells rather than shows with descriptive language.

Content:MEMOIR

●Uses a variety of effective literary techniques throughout the story

● Uses a few effective literary techniques

● Uses some literary techniques, but they are sparse and/or ineffective

● Shows no evidence of literary techniques

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FEATURESContent:ENDING

●Provides readers with a thought-provoking, clinching closure that flows logically from the story

● Provides a clear, relevant closure that readers can relate to

● Provides closure, but it is only somewhat relevant to the story

● Provides little, if any, closure that is relevant to the story

ORGANIZATION ●Sustains a central idea/ thesis that clearly helps focus the story and guide the reader

●Uses a rich variety of transitional words and ideas that add fluency to the story

● Develops a central idea/thesis that helps guide the reader, but there are minor lapses in focus

● Uses transitional words and ideas that add fluency to the story

● Establishes a central idea/thesis, but there are major lapses in focus

● Uses transitional words and ideas that help make the story fluent, but there is little variety

● Does not establish a central idea/thesis

● Uses very few transitional words and ideas that could make the story more fluent

SENTENCE STRUCTURE

●Uses a variety of well-constructed sentences

●Is properly punctuated

● Displays some variety of well-constructed sentences

● Has few punctuation errors

● Displays some variety of sentence structure

● Has several punctuation errors

● Displays little variety of sentence structure

● Has numerous punctuation errorsConventions & Grammar

●Has very few mechanical errors ● Has some mechanical errors ● Has several mechanical errors ● Mechanical errors detract from meaning

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