LIVES - User Journey

Debbie

Debbie is a senior in Bowner college. Coming from a lower class Philipino family in upstate NY, she has always been driven to work hard meet the hope and expectations of her parents. In her public high school, Debbie did well particularly in maths and science, which helped her get in Bowner College, a middle size college in the East Coast. She also got a generous financial aid package.

-        In Bowner, she chose to study Computer Science because it came more easily for her and also because it had the best job prospect after graduation. She spent most of the time in the Computer Science department doing her coursework, cooking, calling her family, and watching movies with her housemates. For her summers, Debbie had several internships as software engineer, none of which really fulfilled her.

The initial enthusiasm at work quickly wore off, and she had to remind herself amidst the day-to-day work of the further goal: she wanted to make enough money for a stable life and perhaps support her family, particularly her younger sister Elie.

One evening, a friend of hers, Alex, invites her over for dinner. Alex likes to host conversations with good friends. Food really breaks the ice, especially for someone naturally shy like Debbie. Alex introduces everyone sitting at the dinner table, and one by one each person shares a short version of their life stories. Debbie talks about her growing up , and to her surprises, some people resonate with it. Alex asks Debbie to write out what she shares in a journal. Debbie rarely writes, but she jots down what she said. It helps clear her own mind. Alex tells her to come back the next dinner, which she gladly accepts.

Through a series of conversations with friends both younger and older in a trusting and supportive environment, Debbie has a chance to reflect on and explore her own evolving story. Alex has a set of prompts for the dinner: What has been going on in both her inner and outer worlds? What is disappearing in her life? What is emerging? One day, as she shares her summer experiences in her software engineering jobs, someone at the table comments “Debbie, you didn’t seem to enjoy it at all. Why are you doing it?” She was dumbfounded: “I didn’t know what else to do..” Someone else reflects back on Debbie’s story “You mentioned your sister very often. Do you enjoy talking to younger girls to guide them?” Debbie was surprised at the insight: she never really thought about that… but it seemed right. In her journal over these conversations, she starts to see common themes emerging: family, guidance, expectation, improvement. She know but hasn’t been able to articulate these values until sharing her stories and capturing them after.

These dinners have always been the highlight of her month, where she can iteratively reflect, refine and reinvent her stories with people whom she trusts. She was surprised that her experience could also be valuable to other people too, especially to younger girls. As for her life, she just signs the contract to work as software engineer at a well-known telecom firm, but she is feeling good that she will have some times to do volunteering work with immigrant girls in the area. It is only the early beginning for Debbie.

Because of the immense value that she has received from this dinner circle, Debbie also volunteers to host them more often. They are like a multi-generational support group - a coaching circle. Alex shares with a her a guide he downloaded from LIVES (Learning Iteratively Via Evolving Stories), an organization he found out just a few months before. It was rather simple: the setup part to make people feel welcome and a guideline conversation itself with sample questions. Much less shy than before, she can now help people start similar conversations, although she likes cooking more and enjoys feeding her guests with her new Pilipino dishes.