walking with the other: uu military & families in our congregations the rev. rebekah a....
TRANSCRIPT
Walking with the Other: UU Military & Families in our Congregations
The Rev. Rebekah A. Montgomery, LPC,MDIV, MS
Military Chaplain, USAR
Chalice Lighting
President Barack Obama’s 2009 Nobel speech:
“The soldier’s courage and sacrifice is full of glory, expressing devotion to country, to cause, to comrades in arms, but war itself is never glorious. And we must never trumpet it as such. So part of our challenge is reconciling these two seemingly irreconcilable truths: that war is sometimes necessary, and war, at some level, is an expression of human folly.”
BackgroundMaking
ConnectionsSpiritual
AssessmentSpiritual TriageJust a Presence
BrainstormingPractical Exercise
2Honoring the
Process
About Me…
UU’s and Military Service
Practical Exercise
Creating Peace UUA Statement of Conscience: I. For Unitarian Universalists, the exercise of
individual conscience is holy work. Conscientious discernment leads us to engage in the creation of peace in different ways. We affirm a range of individual choices, including military service and conscientious objection (whether to all wars or particular wars), as fully compatible with Unitarian Universalism. For those among us who make a formal commitment to military service, we will honor their commitment, welcome them home, and offer pastoral support. For those among us who make a formal commitment as conscientious objectors, we will offer documented certification, honor their commitment, and offer pastoral support.
II. Our faith calls us to create peace, yet we confess that we have not done all we could to prevent the spread of armed conflict throughout the world. At times we have lacked the courage to speak and act against violence and injustice; at times we have lacked the creativity to speak and act in constructive ways; at times we have condemned the violence of others without acknowledging our own complicity in violence. We affirm a responsibility to speak truth to power, especially when unjust power is exercised by our own nation. Too often we have allowed our disagreements to distract us from all that we can do together. This Statement of Conscience challenges individual Unitarian Universalists, as well as our congregations and Association, to engage with more depth, persistence, and creativity in the complex task of creating peace.
Video: Battlemind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uygp4p8TdXA
*this video contains graphic images of physical trauma, please be advised.
Time for Processing
How did this video make you feel?What words or phrases stuck with you?
Where is the sacred here?
BATTLEMIND: Transitioning from Combat to Home
From “War zone” to “Home zone”◦ Battlemind is the Soldier’s inner strength to
face fear and adversity in combat with courage.
◦Combat skills and battle mindset sustained your survival in the war-zone…
◦But Battlemind may be “hazardous” to your social & behavioral health in the home zone…
◦Also relates to everyday relationships and identities
BATTLEMINDSuccessful Transitions:
◦Each service member will transition in their own way, at their own pace
◦Key is to adapt and build on your own strengths
◦Skills based mindset, using a familiar language
◦Allows for a deeper reflection over time
BATTLEMINDBuddies (cohesion) vs. WithdrawalAccountability vs. ControllingTargeted Aggression vs. Inappropriate
AggressionTactical Awareness vs. HypervigilanceLethally Armed vs. “Locked and Loaded”
at HomeEmotional Control vs. Anger/DetachmentMission Operational Security (OPSEC) vs.
SecretivenessIndividual Responsibility vs. GuiltNon-Defensive (combat) Driving vs.
Aggressive DrivingDiscipline and Ordering vs. Conflict
Honoring the Process
The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention.
~Thich Nhat Hanh
Pastoral Care Considerations:
Survivors GuiltGuilt over choices made, leaving
familyOffering a non-anxious presenceConveying non-judgementReassurance of Forgiveness and
allowing for absolution
Spiritual TriageEach person comes with
their whole selfLook and listen for keys to
their inner struggle◦ Clothes, grooming,
presentation◦ Words: “should”, “must”,
shame, guiltTradition, culture and
family loom largeQuestioning God, God’s
will, presence of GodSpectrum of severity of
spiritual crisis: opportunity to surrender
If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it. ~Toni Morrison
Just a presence
Pastoral Care Resources:Military Chaplains, Mental Health
providersVeterans AdministrationVet CentersMilitary OneSourceA Soldier’s HeartFacebook CommunitiesCLF
Considerations for Military FamiliesSpouses
◦Post DOMAChildren
http://youtu.be/-h_TNcCQq_k
Considerations for Congregations
How do we welcome service members and their families?◦Physical space◦Language for worship◦Veteran’s Day and Memorial Day◦Announcements
BrainstormingWhat does radical
hospitality look like in your congregation?◦In your ministry?
How are ways to create a covenanted relationship with service members?
Give thanks for what you are now, and keep
fighting for what you want to be tomorrow.
~Fernanda Miramontes-Landeros
Additional Resources
Military Bridge Builders Workshops◦Workshop 1: Individual and Family Messages
Received about Military Service ◦Workshop 2: Assessing Your Congregation’s
Approach to Military Service ◦Workshop 3: Philosophical and Ethical
Questions about War and Peace ◦Workshop 4: The Impact of War and Military
Service on Families ◦Workshop 5: Inviting Engagement through
Congregational Worship ◦Workshop 6: Next Steps
Our UU CovenantIf a congregation is to have an effective ministry to
military personnel, veterans, and their families, the ethical, moral, and philosophical questions about war, as well as cultural assumptions about warfare, must be freely examined in all their complexity and not oversimplified. Our ethical response to the problem of war must simultaneously hold a particular war and the whole of the cultural and political history of warfare in mind. If we can negotiate these topics respectfully in a covenanted setting, it is cause for hope that Unitarian Universalists can approach these topics respectfully in the wider congregation and in the wider world. Consider that the quality of our group process together as we talk about issues of war and peace might be a measure of the ministry that we have the capacity to offer within and beyond the walls of our congregations.
May I be filled with loving-kindnessMay I be well
May I be peaceful and at ease
May I be happy
Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones;
and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task,
Go to sleep in peace. ~Victor Hugo
Thank you for your time and attention