Vol. 12, Issue 4

Friday, May 4, 2012

(So long, farewell)

Angelo State’s Finest P

aper Since Fall 2006

On the Internet @

Ram

diculous.com

2

Vol. 12, Issue 4

Something to read during finals week

R A M D I C U L O U S P A G E P O L I C Y Published every other Friday and available to students on campus. This newspaper does not express the opinions of any writer, editor, or anyone affiliated with Angelo State University or the Texas Tech University System or this newspaper. We welcome all letters, tweets, and other such nonsense. Please include your name, position, and an email address. All submissions are considered property of the Ramdiculous Page and will not be returned, EVER. Submit your letters, articles, and/or favorite memories via our email, page@ramdiculous.com, or our website, www.ramdiculous.com. Opinions in any letter or writing are not necessarily those of the staff, nor should any opinion expressed in a public forum be construed as the opinion or policy of the administration or the Ramdiculous Page. By submitting anything to the Ramdiculous Page, you are giving the Ramdiculous Page permission to use your Facebook and/or MySpace profile in any way the Ramdiculous Page deems usable, unless expressed in writing. If you are an professor you need not worry, we will not use your profiles. It’s like Doc always says: “If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.”

Top Editor

Bryce J. Parsons

Vice-President

2d Lt Christine Boswell, USAF

Artists and Writers

The Usual Ramdiculists

Save tonight

And fight the break of dawn

Brace yourself. I'm on the

eve of graduation, so today I'm

saying “goodbye” and “thanks”

to everyone who played a sig-

nificant role in my college life.

Put on “Graduation (Friends

Forever)” by Vitamin C (or

“School's Out” by Alice

Cooper) and have fun reading.

This column has been eight

years in the making.

To Miss Amanda Jones:

Thank you for being the first

person at ASU who believed

in me. And for being the first

girl I met who was a fan of

MST3K.

To Whitney: You have one

of the biggest hearts on Earth,

and you are one of the most

blessed people I've ever

known. Of all the souls I've

met, yours is the most human.

To Jenna: You took a

chance on an eager young car-

toonist and printed his insane

little comics in your newspa-

per. I heard that you became a

schoolteacher after college, so

I can't help but imagine that

you're currently helping out

other eager kids. Good for

you.

To all my former Foster

Field co-workers: We

worked through hell and

made it something special.

Viva San Angelo Colts

Baseball.

To Keith Greer-May:

You were my co-host on

two Ram Radio shows and

took the fall with me on

one of them. You are one

of the most loyal friends

I've ever had, if not THE

most loyal. Thanks for the

fun times, and thanks for

letting me beat you at Atari

2600 Volleyball. It's why I

let you win at Atari War-

lords.

To C.J. and J.S. (who are

still around), and P.T. and

C.E. (who are elsewhere):

Thanks for taking time out

of a busy Wednesday to

show me why a Ramdicu-

lous sense of humor is

WAY better than being

close-minded and humor-

less.

To Seth and Brian: You

guys got the ball rolling

with the Ramdiculous Page, and you helped me

realize my dream of becom-

ing an editor. Can't thank

you guys enough.

To all the current college

kids I might have substitute

taught for back when they

were still in high school: My

name is Bryce. You don't

have to call me Mr. Parsons.

To Christine Boswell: I am

incredibly fortunate to know

such an honorable and funny

soul, and I've been insanely

lucky to have you as my

Ramdiculous veep. Brave

heart, my friend; and aim

high.

To Robert Thompson: I

believe that underneath all

that bluster is a genuinely

good guy. That said, I'm sad I

won't be around to see you

take over the world, since I

have other worlds to explore.

To Sara: No time is a good

time for goodbye. We're fire

and ice, a dream that won't

come true.

To Pamela Belcher: There

are several brands of decaf

that are just as tasty as the

real thing. But honestly, I

kinda wish I could see the

It’s been a fun ride, but now I must go.

world through your eyes.

And someday I'll teach you

how to yo-yo.

To Victoria Norrell: I

truly hope you find your

mountaintop. Thanks for

making work interesting,

and for washing my car.

To Besspher Mannah:

I'm reasonably sure that

everyone on campus knows

you. This means that every-

one knows how awesome

you are. Do not change a

thing.

To all at Career Develop-

ment: You guys are a force

for good. Don't stop doing

what you do, and thanks for

one of the best jobs I've ever

had.

Finally, to you, the read-

ers: Thanks for reading the

Ramdiculous Page during

my time here! Stick around

for a new crew (and a few

old faces) in the fall. Above

all else, STAY RAMDICU-

LOUS!

And wherever I may end

up, I hope we find each oth-

er again.

-Top Editor

3

RAMDICULOUS SUDOKU

Difficu

lty: 2

01 (

Extr

em

e)

the incredible question

There are more questions at

facebook.com/ramdiculous. You should

go take a look.

Any free 1/4 lb. burger combo with side and

drink

A 1/2 lb burger if you buy a side and drink

Other things like cheese or upgrading to a

specialty 1/2lb burger is extra

2424 Vanderventer

San Angelo, TX 76904

(325) 947-9462

4

GRADUATES By Miss C. Boz

The day is finally here

It been 5 for Christine and

for Bryce 8 very very long

years

There's been plenty of

Studying for tests

Studying hard

And doing our very best

There have been chill days

And days full of stress

But on the 12th, we will walk

the stage

Get our diplomas

And run far far away

:)

-Yay-

Poetry Time.

Write or draw for us!

Contact us at:

page@ramdiculous.com

(P.S. For every article you

write that gets published,

you get a $5 gift card.

Who says no to money?)

Who’s This? Send us your

answer! Facebook.com/

ramdiculous Last answer: Cap’n Crunch

(Victoria and Marcus win.)

Ram of the Week: Victoria Norrell Meet Victoria. She’s a pyromaniac. Well, that’s at least what she tells us.

Truth be told, we’ve never seen her start a fire, and she’s certainly not an arsonist. That being said, we always have to remind her not to burn the place down whenever we go somewhere.

But she’s also the one of the kindest, fun-niest, and friendliest people we’ve ever met. And she’s always happy to help folks.

And we’re not saying all that because she knows how to use a gun. You know, FYI. Victoria (dramatization)

5

Graduation? Not yet, says Bob. By Robert Thompson

Mind you, it's not an issue for

me, but apparently "graduation" is

where people with actual hopes

and dreams for the future come

up on stage, get a piece of paper,

and shake hands with the man

who raises their tuition like

clockwork. I am not graduating

this year or ever; think of me as

Van Wilder without the sex life.

But if I were graduating, I would

want to leave something to pos-

terity. Something that summed up

my college career, something that

praised those who made my time

here worth while, and offended

those who seemed to go out of

their way to make me unhappy.

Which is precisely what I mean

to do.

To my homies at the Caf and

the UC, specifically Mark and

Krystal: One, for never letting me

forget my Ramdiculous deadlines

and the other for knowing more

about my personal life than my

whole family combined, which is

either heart warming or heart

breaking depending on how you

want to look at it. Every day you

people have the opportunity to

poison me and for reasons beyond

my understanding you haven't.

Not yet anyways.

To the ASU History depart-

ment: Dr. De Leon for squander-

ing perfectly good time reading

my frustrated scribblings. And Dr.

Pate for tolerating my fangirl

behavior. I am literally the crea-

tor of the Dr. Pate fan club. Look

for us on Facebook.

Dr. Peters for tolerating, well,

everything.

Dr. Gates for being the most

utterly kick ass English professor

in the history of English, the lan-

guage or the subject. In any sort

of a just world, you would have

tenure and the Art Spiegelman

heckler would be mowing your

By Edwin A. Abbot

My fellow Ramdiculous readers, fellow Ramdiculous writers, and maybe that guy

who picked up this paper out of sheer curiosity for something to read in the bath-

room: This is my last official article for this paper. Parting is such sweet sorrow. This

publication has had such a widespread impact on my life that summarizing it will

simply serve it injustice. However, simply because many of you who are reading this

do not know the history of Ramdiculous and what it can do for your life, let me show

you a glimpse into the window.

When I first heard of Ramdiculous, current Ramdiculous president Bryce Parsons

and I were sitting at a lunch table discussing ways we could make our radio show

more formidable.

Fast forward slightly later: my best friend is out of a cartoonist job, we have lost

our radio show, and we met a great group of friends who began this fine paper that

you read today. Not only did I forge bonds that to this day remain strong, this paper

brought forth events into my life that tested my will and loyalty as an individual.

This paper allowed me to meet someone and open up my heart to the idea that

love is possible, and true happiness, even if not today is somehow attainable. While it

isn't exactly a fairytale ending, this paper forever changed my life.

Many of you who read this think of us as a group of individuals who just write

silly stories for your humor. In many ways that is accurate, and yet in so many more

ways there is a lot more going on behind the scenes. For every issue and article that

goes out, there is correspondence between an individual and their friend. For every

issue and article that goes out, there is a meeting, there is laughter and there are crazy

ideas that are bounced off a wall in the hopes it will somehow stick. For every issue

there is an emotion, for every emotion there is a memory, and for every memory

there is a future. The future of Ramdiculous now is in the hands of a new man. You

should all be kind to him; I hear he is a great guy.

And if any of you are up to the challenge of becoming a writer, know that it's

much more than writing for a gift card in a small part of a black and white page that

used to go out every Thursday night. You are writing your future.

Edwin A. Abbott is my best friend, and the Ramdiculous Page’s Behind the Scenes Editor. We will miss him very much.

Por Ti Volare lawn and kissing your feet for the

privilege.

Mr. Bryce Parsons, this school

is teaming with insufferable jack-

asses... but you are not one of

them. You are an energetic and

entertaining man who gave a

malcontent like me a shot and

writing for you has been a pleas-

ure.

Enough with the love fest.

I don't know whose bright idea

it was to replace the school's old

comfortable furniture with new

ugly uncomfortable furniture but

I wish they'd do us all a favor and

fall down a flight of stairs.

Whoever is insisting on shut-

ting down Concho.

Whoever tore up the library.

Months of incontinence, millions

of dollars, all we got to show for it

were pillars we could write on,

and apparently they broke be-

cause they just bolted dry erase

boards over the paint. Good call

buddy. Not a total loss though, we

moved the computer lab from

upstairs to down stairs. What a

totally unnecessary waste of time

and energy, I mean accomplish-

ment.

The bottom 20% of the faculty

here. These people have no busi-

ness teaching anyone anything

least of all at the university level.

I won't name names, I've already

alluded to one of them, but if you

ask around you'll find that the

students know who they are. It’s a

shame the administration doesn't.

I hope the people I've named

appreciate the gesture. They de-

serve it. I hope the people I've

tried very hard not to name brace

themselves for the last issue be-

fore I graduate, because I intend

to give them what they deserve,

good and hard, and I do not think

they will be very happy about it.

Robert Thompson is way cool.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Class Day Class Time Exam Time MWF / MW / M 8:00 a.m. 8:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.

MWF / MW / M 10:00 a.m. 10:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.

MWF / MW / M 12:00 noon 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.

MW / M / W 12:30 p.m. 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.

MW 1:30 p.m. 3:30 p.m. - 5:30 p.m.

MWF / MW / M 2:00 p.m. 3:30 p.m. - 5:30 p.m.

MWF / MW / M / F 4:00 p.m. 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

MW / M 6:00 p.m. 8:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Class Day Class Time Exam Time

T / TR 8:00 a.m. 8:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.

T / TR 10:00 a.m. 10:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.

TR / T / R 11:00 a.m. 10:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.

TR / T 1:00 p.m. 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.

TR / T / R 2:00 p.m. 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.

TR / T / R 3:00 p.m. 4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m.

TR / T 5:00 p.m. 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

TR / T 6:00 p.m. 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

TR / T 6:30 p.m. 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Class Day Class Time Exam Time

MWF / MW 9:00 a.m. 8:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.

MWF / MW 11:00 a.m. 10:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.

MWF / MW / M 1:00 p.m. 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.

MWF / MW / W 3:00 p.m. 3:30 p.m. - 5:30 p.m.

MWF / MW / M 5:00 p.m. 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

W 6:00 p.m. 8:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Class Day Class Time Exam Time TR / T 9:30 a.m. 8:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.

TR / R 12:30 p.m. 10:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.

T / R 1:30 p.m. 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.

TR / R 3:30 p.m. 3:30 p.m. - 5:30 p.m.

T /TR 4:00 p.m. 5:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m.

T / TR 5:30 p.m. 5:30 p.m. - 7:30 p.m.

R 6:00 p.m. 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

TR 7:30 p.m. 8:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.

FINALS SCHEDULE

6

Places Flyin’ the

RAMD

ICUL

OUS JOLLY RO

GER

On

the ro

ck w

all and

outsid

e the C

HP

The Ram Page office!!!

With Christine and the Flying Tigers On Victoria Norrell’s knee