Jubilee Biblical Counselling TrainingOverview of the Personal Change Process

Getting clear on the elements involved in the personal change process1

Pastoral Counselling is largely about helping people experience Christ-centred renewal. This psychospiritual renewal is enabled by the Holy Spirit, occurs through the personal ministry of the Word, and takes place in loving community.

It’s vitally important for pastoral leaders and counsellors to have clarity on both the elements of renewal, as well as the process of renewal. The Three Trees Diagram (3TD) captures both the elements and process of personal change succinctly. Although not detailed, the personal renewal elements and process can be understood in terms of this visual representation below.

Let’s now consider the Heat, Cross, Fruit and Thorns in more detail.

Element #1—Heat: Life, God and You (Life in the real world)1 This material is largely based, with adaptations and other input, from How People Change (2008: New Growth Press) by Dr. Tim Lane and Dr. Paul David Tripp, chapter 6, pp. 79-94.

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The Scripture teaches that all people are always living under the ‘Heat’ of life. Heat can be either prosperity (Deuteronomy 8:10-18) or adversity (Numbers 11-14), and so is always a part of life. Heat also includes your past as well as your present, your physical body and social-cultural context. Heat even includes spiritual realities, such as demonic influences or godly counsel. In other words, Heat is a summary term referring to one’s entire life situation. “God makes it very clear that he understands the Heat we face every day. It isn’t always pleasant to read the honest stories of Scripture, but it is comforting. We realize that we will never face an experience, no matter how dark or difficult, that would be a shock to our God. The hope and help God offers to his children reflect his knowledge of the full range of human experience.”2 God knows the world of Heat that we live in, so we can be honest about our Heat. This includes being honest about our suffering. Psalm 88 models this honesty for us, teaching us to live with a healthy biblical realism about life. Scripture, and thus God, empathetically validates the Heat we all experience. God knows our Heat, and He calls us to repeatedly pour out our hearts to Him in the midst of the Heat we face.

Furthermore, people are heart-driven interpretive responders. That is, our hearts are always interpreting and responding to the circumstances happening around us. The interpretation we make shapes the response we have to the Heat. In other words, life is not merely cause-effect, it is cause-interpretation-effect. We interpret every experience, and our interpretation shapes our response. The Bible’s description of life and humanity’s interpretive response to it is often dark and painful. Nevertheless, that realism is precisely why it is so encouraging! God knows our susceptibility to interpret and respond to life’s heat in ungodly ways, and yet He continues to move towards us in love.

2 Lane & Tripp, How People Change, 96.

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Event/circumstance + interpretation = reaction

The biblical concept of Coram Deo (Latin phrase: before the face of God) refers to the fact that God is our constant environment. He is always present with us – even in the midst of our sin, and even in the midst of a broken world (cf. Psalm 139). Recognizing His loving presence and perfect knowledge of our situation provides great hope for us as we seek to live in the Heat. God, rather than calling us to ignore the Heat, is present with us in it. As we turn to Him by faith in the midst of Heat, he strengthens our hearts by the Holy Spirit, and enables us to produce the fruit of either lament (if there is adversity) or thanksgiving (if there is prosperity). As God’s children, we turn to Him in the Heat.

This faith-filled reaction to Heat produces Fruit, and this positive cycle (represented by blue arrows in the diagram) is characteristic of the Christian’s life. Of course, this movement of responding to Heat with lament/thanksgiving is not a once-off moment but a daily walk. Walking with God is not once-and-done but once-and-again-and-again, a cycle that needs to be repeatedly recycled. It’s not something that is easy—as we process pain and suffering with God, we may well be shaken to the core. We will need to return to Him in prayer, over and over and over again. The biblical metaphor for this ‘cycle’ of faith towards God is ‘walking’—we walk with God through life as we change and grow in the midst of Heat. Timothy Keller describes this in the following way:

“Walking is something nondramatic, rhythmic – it consists of steady, repeated actions you can keep up in a sustained way for a long time….there are many people who think of spiritual growth as something like high-diving. They say, “I am going to give my life to the Lord! I am going to change all these terrible habits, and I am really going to transform! Give me another six months, and I am

going to be a new man or new woman!” That is not what a walk is. A walk is day in and day out praying; day in and day out Bible and Psalms reading; day in and day out obeying, talking to Christian

friends, and going to corporate worship, committing yourself to and

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Heat Heart Response

fully participating in the life of a church. It is rhythmic, on and on and on. To walk with God is a metaphor that symbolizes slow and steady progress…There will be days in which some new insight

comes to you like a ray of light in a dark room. There will certainly be progress, that’s part of the metaphor of walking, but in general it will be slow and steady progress that comes only if you stick to

the regular, daily activities of the walking itself.” 3

Note: one of the key methods the Spirit uses to empower and encourage us in this process is the Bible. He wrote the Bible, and the Spirit uses the Word to train, instruct and guide us into righteousness (cf. 2 Timothy 3:14-17). Thus we could say that renewal/growth occurs by the power of the Holy Spirit, through the work of the Word. By His Spirit, God works in us through His Word, conforming us into the image of His Son (1 Thess. 2:13).

3 Timothy Keller, Walking with God through Pain and Suffering (NY: Dutton, 2013), 236-237.

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Element #2—Thorns: Our negative response to Heat (and thus to God)

Unfortunately, none of us is perfect and so, to varying degrees, no-one fully lives within that blue ‘obedience cycle.’ We all respond to Heat with Thorns. Thorns are our unbiblical response to life’s Heat. 4 Therefore, identifying and acknowledging these thorns is the first step in experiencing transformation.

How can I examine myself honestly and acknowledge Thorns in front of others? Because my hope is not in me – my education, career, wealth, or spiritual performance. My hope is in Christ’s grace. And we need to make every effort possible, in the light of Christ’s grace, to pursue Fruit and avoid Thorns (2 Peter 1:3-11). Ephesians 4-6 shows us how every area of life needs to undergo personal change – and the first step in this renewal process is identifying the Thorns that grow out of our hearts. The following are just some examples of unbiblical responses (Thorns). Which describe you?

Blaming other people for your Heat; refusing to acknowledge personal responsibility.

Boasting about your achievements as though you were in control of your life.

Denying, avoiding, escaping life: refusing to deal with reality; procrastinating.

Magnifying/expanding pain and suffering whilst ignoring blessings; ingratitude.

Hypersensitivity: defensive and self-preoccupied living; ruled by fear. Retaliation: bitterness taking root evidenced in (even subtle) negative

thoughts, words and actions. This is often seen in sarcasm, anger (whether overt or covert), cynicism, jadedness or subtle put-downs.

Paralysis: quitting in the face of suffering; problems appear insurmountable; “I can’t cope!”

Self-excusing self-righteousness: my sin is minimized, others’ sin is maximized.

If this represents a sample of what we do wrong (external), the next question is why we do wrong (internal)? Why do we do what we do? What causes thorns?

Let’s consider what the Ultimate Cause isn’t: other people, my family of origin, a bad day, demons, or my body. However, the Bible does not minimize these important factors and neither should we. Suffering affects people profoundly; pain can shake us to the core. Nevertheless, whilst these external influential realities are to be acknowledged, the ultimate causal factor in our ungodly behaviour is our idolatrous heart. We live from our hearts (Proverbs 4:23) and so our behaviour is, in some way, connected to our hearts.

4 These are reactions to Heat, but they’re actually reactions to God. Human motivation is ʻGod-relatedʼ; every action and reaction of our hearts is either a move towards God or a move away, either an act of God-worship or an act of self-worship. Your behaviour always reveals something about your relationship with God.

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Behavioural sin follows heart sin, and the specific negative reactions reveal our specific idols. Thorns (sinful reactions) “help us to locate our particular God-replacements.”5 Therefore, assessing our behaviour specifically enables us to recognise our specific heart idols, and thus assists us in repenting intelligently. Hopefully you can see how important accurate Thorn identification is on the road of personal transformation. Wise pastoral counsellors will help counselees identify thorns, which in turn will help them locate particular idols, and thus get them started on the road to personal repentance and renewal.

How do we move from Thorns to Jesus?

Having identified an idol—how do we move towards Jesus and renewal? Here’s where the work of the Holy Spirit is so wonderfully helpful! He convicts us of our idolatry, and helps us see how dangerous, futile and spiritually offensive it is. He enables repentance and empowers renewal; the Spirit moves us towards Jesus as we repent and believe the Gospel. So, having identified the idolatry, we then confess our idolatry to Jesus. Real repentance is specific, but because you have done accurate spiritual diagnosis, specific repentance is achievable. We confess both the external manifestation of sin, and we also confess the internal idolatry of sin. A good exercise to help a counselee is to work with them through Psalm 51, and end off by helping them write their own ‘personal version’ of Psalm 51.

However, we must remember that repentance is not always dramatic and loud—it can also be confessing subtle sins and making small steps of progress towards deeper purity.

“Repentance can be dramatic, but most repentance is a gentle rain, slowly softening the hardened soil of our hearts. Repentance can be just seeing yourself or someone else in a new way. If we

focus just on big repentances, we can unwittingly become demanding, insisting that people absorb more change than they

can make all at once. Seeing repentance as a gentle rain can make our rebukes gentler.” 6

Having confessed our idolatry to God, we then affirm His forgiveness of us in Jesus. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9). We affirm the truth of this, and we spend time rejoicing in Jesus. As we do this, we find that Jesus is a far better refuge, a more powerful Lord, and a much deeper pleasure than anything this world could offer. Rejoicing in Jesus changes the affections and desires of our hearts, expelling old sinful desires with a new and greater passion for Jesus. Jesus displaces the idols at the centre of the heart’s affections.

This is all enabled by the Holy Spirit! He empowers repentance, from start to finish. But a wise counsellor also knows that the Spirit works through the Word, 5 Lane & Tripp, How People Change, 126.6 Paul Miller. A Loving Life in a World of Broken Relationships (Wheaton, Crossway, 2014), Kindle Locations 868-872.

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and often the relational use of the Word in a personal way acts as the rain that softens the dry ground of an idolatrous heart.

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Element #3—Cross: A new identity and a new potential for everyday living

We have power to change because of who we are in Christ. In Galatians 2:20 Paul says, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” This verse has three life-changing truths worth reflecting on.

• A New Relationship: We are united to a Person, not a system. We are transformed, not by a pseudo-spiritual version of cognitive behavioural therapy, but by being united to the Lord Jesus Christ. We are transformed through union with a Person, not through embracing a therapeutic system. In other words, the change process is relational. The foundation of all psychospiritual renewal is a relationship with Jesus. Knowing Jesus deeply changes us.

• A New Heart: We have been given soft hearts of “flesh”, replacing our hard hearts of “stone” (Ezekiel 36:26). Therefore, we can choose to respond to Heat righteously; sin is no longer inevitable! Sin’s control over us has been broken, now we are free to choose to love God and others. This is such an enormous change, that in Galatians 2:20 Paul describes it in terms of his old person dying and him receiving a brand new life.

• A New Power: Daily living is “living by faith.” Everyday living and responding can proceed from hearts that rejoice in Christ and – by the power of the Holy Spirit – are increasingly characterized by the fruit of his Spirit (cf. Galatians 5:22-23). When we fail, as we inevitably will, we do what we always do: repent from idols and put our faith in Jesus. Again, it’s worth highlighting that these cycles of obedience and repentance-and-faith are not once-off events but rather a walk with God. We continually repent from idols and we continually set our hearts on the Lord Jesus. Revisit the section above when seeking guidance on this process of expelling specific sinful desires through rejoicing in Christ. This new power flows from our union with Christ, and from our daily appropriation of the Gospel.

We rejoice in Jesus in the midst of the Heat; we walk with Jesus through both suffering and sin. As we walk with Him by faith, He will renew our hearts by the power of the Spirit, and that heart-renewal will lead to tangible Fruit in our lives.

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Element #4—Fruit: Real heart change with tangible behavioural and emotional fruit Insight is not the same as change. Therefore, we must move from internal analysis to external action. With renewed hearts, we are able to respond to the same old Heat in brand new ways. Fruit trees bear fruit, and as God’s adopted child – you’re a fruit tree! So bear fruit! The ethical call of the New Testament is for God’s people to be who they are: we are God’s Holy People—so let’s be His Holy People in how we actually live.

God does not always remove the Heat, but often uses it to help us practically change as we focus on Jesus in the midst of Heat. “Under the pressure of family difficulty, love can grow. Under the Heat of unappreciated sacrifice, perseverance can grow. In physical suffering, peace and sturdy faith can blossom. In the midst of want, giving can grow where Thorns of greed and selfishness once flourished...hope can even blossom in times of grief.”7

Galatians 5:13-6:10 is a passage that starts with Thorns and ends with Fruit. What makes the difference? The work of the Spirit! He works in us powerfully, helping us to say ʻno’ to selfish desires, thoughts and choices. His power enables us to say ʻyesʼ to living his way.

Typical Fruit the Spirit will produce, and that we are to seek, would include:

Integrity: being honest about my shortcomings; confessing sin; accepting criticism and rebukes. Humility is one of the hallmarks of Fruit, and its impact is felt everywhere.

Cross-shaped, grace-oriented relationships: forgiveness, patience, forbearance, generosity, service, etc.

Emotional wisdom: expressing the right emotion in the right way at the right time; emotions are good, healthy and helpful and are to be neither ignored nor obeyed.

Words: gospel-driven communication enables us to speak the truth tactfully, and in love, for the building up of others.

Behaviour: the Cross enables us to say ʻnoʼ to selfishness and empowers us to say ʻyesʼ to loving and serving God and others (cf. Titus 2:11-14; Mark 10:45; Galatians 5:13-15). The Cross also motivates us to stay pure in the midst of an evil world (Philippians 2:1-18).

Perseverance: because of the Gospel, we have an eternal inheritance that will be revealed when the Lord returns (1 Peter 1:3-9). Until then, we are to joyfully persevere (James 5:7-11; Colossians 1:11). We never give up on others, or our own salvation, even when the Christian life is tougher than what we imagined.

Again, it’s worth remembering that a wise counsellor will partner with the Spirit by coming alongside a participant and relationally sharing relevant truth from God’s Word. This loving presence, combined with biblical insight, helps participants

7 Lane and Tripp, How People Change, 187; cf. Romans 5:1-5

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identify practical ‘next steps’ in their renewal process.

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That’s the big picture: Heat-Thorns-Cross-Fruit.

This model gives us a clear understanding of the different elements involved in the renewal process. Focusing on one element to the detriment of the others will result in unbalanced pastoral care. As a pastoral caregiver, it is absolutely vital that you have clarity regarding these elements, and that you know how to apply these truths to your own heart. Once you have experienced personal renewal through this process, you will be greatly equipped in assisting others through this Christ-centred renewal process.

Finally, this model also gives us an honest and hope-filled way of understanding life, ourselves and our God of grace. When considering how Jesus transforms us, we need to remember that it takes place within this context, over time, through a process. As we reflected on earlier, our lives are about walking with God—calling out to Him again and again, day after day. Sometimes our walk with God is deeply joyous and filled with celebration. Other times it is deeply painful and filled with tears. Sometimes it is both, as we seek to grow in holiness in the midst of life’s heat. Our personal change may be slow, but praise God that it is inevitable! He has given us everything we need to respond righteously in the midst of real life; we can legitimately expect to be psychospiritually renewed. Let us remember and rejoice in the truth that God enters our world to change our hearts so that we can respond to him by faith in community, and thereby produce Fruit in the midst of life’s Heat (John 15:4-16).

Are there any comments or questions you have regarding the various elements?

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