Vanguard Weekly Press Release Your local source for every crass detail about your favourite right-wing party

Agentnola

October 31, 2015

Directory of Media and Culture

Issue 5

Synopsis

This was a interesting week. New Speaker, lots of bills, an idiot who think they can

copy me, lots of question times, new faces, and so much more. This is the week of Oct

24-31 and this is The Vanguard Weekly Press Release.

Flame War.

It has been brought to my attention that a recent publication, which in this press

release and all future releases shall be named TR(Telegraphic Ripoff), has completely

ripped off style of writing, commentary and such. I will not take this lying down, I will

fight back! I have harsh criticism of his publication which I will now make apparent

The Formatting is even lazier than mine. Seriously, at least I use templates for

real!

The Default view is PDF, really? At least people see the google doc, or even better

yet, use Issuu.

NO LORDS! YOU FAIL TO COVER THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS AND IMPORTANT

CHAMBER OF PARLIAMENT? HOW DARE YOU SIR! YOU WILL BE HANGED FOR

YOUR INSOLENCE!

Your comments on legislation were not nearly witty enough, also your

formatting sucks

Format Still sucks

Again with the Formatting

3/10 Formatting and No pictures

Also your font sucks, and looks like it was made in the 1940s, jeez get with da

times bruh

I hope you will learn your lesson you pesky labour swine. Once you have fixed these

glaring problems, then you will be closer to my glorious level!

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The New Speaker

/u/athanaton has been elected the new speaker. He has made promises to unban our

favourite Vanguard member, /u/Rhodesianwaw, yay! Let us rejoice in the new choice

that is our speaker, and pray he is just as good as Ben.

Making Sense of The Vanguard Directorate

The Vanguard have a tendency to have strange positions within their directorate. And seeing as now I am going to try and incorporate them, I should probably list how I am going to group their responsibilities.

Vanguard Position Ministerial Equivalent Position Holder

Party Leader Prime Minister AlbrechtVonRoon

Deputy Leader

Deputy Prime Minister First Secretary of State Secretary of State for

Equalities

Spudgunn

Father of The Party Leader of the House of Commons/Lords Rhodesianwaw

Director of Economics Chancellor of The Exchequer Work and Pensions Rlack

Director of Education Education tjm91

Director of Foreign Affairs Foreign Affairs International Development PremierHirohito

Director of Justice Justice

Communities and Local Government

OctogenarianSandwich

Director of Environment, Food and Rural Affairs

Environment, Food and Rural Affairs

Britboy3456

Director of Culture, Media, and Media Relations

Culture, Media, Sport & eSports AgentNola

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Director of Defence Defence Rhodesianwaw

Director of Transport Transport Peter199

Director of Home Affairs Home

Northern Ireland Wales

sleeping_scarecrow

Director of Energy Energy and Climate Change AlphaEpsilon3

Director of Business Business, Industries and

Skills Innovation and Skills

TheLegitimist(Dirty NDP)

Director of Health Health Jwarman99

The Vanguard Exodus Continues

The true patriots of our country continue to flock to the Vanguardian ranks, as we

accept all from the socialist, to the diehard libertarian. Join the Vanguard! This week, a

notable UKIP lord defected to our party. Mr /u/Fizzleton, made the justifiable decision

to join the only true right-wing party in the house today. We all congratulate him as he

made the journey from UKIP to the Vanguard, and hope is integration into the

hivemind, Party goes well.

The Future of The Nuclear Committee

Recently the Nuclear National Bill went up for a seconding reading. It is with this

second reading that I have decided to cease all work on the bill. The Committee is

undergoing some structural changes, and many changes will come as soon as the

recent chair election ends. However, I think that after the chair election, the

Committee could start to become a powerhouse for legislation.

Things, They are a Changin!

The Weekly Press Release has undergone some dramtic changes in the last week. As

some of you know, I no longer comment on question time. This has made the Press

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Release the best place to see Vanguard Opinions on issues. I hope this only leads to

further good will between parties.

New Bills/Motions in the Commons

B181 ­ Abortion Amendment Bill ­ People wonder why the Vanguard don't write

legislation… You try and compromise your view with someone elses and then

Vuckt is telling you to basically kill yourself.

B179 ­ National Nuclear Bill ­ Second Reading ­ my glorious bill, one that I put

much thought, and love into. I am scrapping it. This bill is dead, yay! Instead we

are going to do something much more evil, and make you wish this was the bill

proposed…

B182 ­ Natural Resources Amendment Bill ­ eh, It's a good bill I guess. Not very

debate worthy, and kind of boring. I mean, yay environment. overall meh/60

M089 ­ Motion to Ban Funding and Aid to The Free Syrian Army ­ GAS THE

TERRORISTS! THEY DESERVE A THOUSAND DEATHS AT THE HANDS

OF THE GLORIOUS ASSAD REGIME. I mean ummmmm, interesting motion.

Will have better follow through later

B183 ­ End Funding of Political Parties Bill ­ a good strong bill, build to ensure the

integrity of our political system. I am sure the second reading will be glorious and

a passable bill will be formed.

B184 ­ Hospital Car Parking Bill ­ Dull, Why we need to legislate Car parking is

beyond me. I am by no means a small government enthusiast, but there is a point

where it makes no sense to legislate things.

M090 ­ Motion on the Use of Complementary Currencies ­ WOW! I thought that

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the Vanguard were the only party who had members that advocated to a return to a

feudalistic society! Amazing there are others in other parties.

M091 ­ Motion to create a Glyndwr Day across Wales ­ Interesting bill, I quite like

it. It encourages the development of culture.

B185 ­ Equality in Higher Education Tuition Fees Funding Bill ­ wut is this bill? I

am very intrigued that UKIP beat a couple of people to the punch with this bill

idea, however I think we are more likely to see a government bill

Results in The Rabble B174 ­ Facial Covering Prohibition Bill ­ (UKIP) Ayes ­ 22. Noes ­ 85. Absentions

­ 4. A bill that would make sure that dirty immigrants could not prevent themselves

from showing us their disgusting faces. However it did not pass because of the

left’s obsession with PC(politically correct) principles.

LB004 ­ Rail Fair Standardisation Bill ­ (Opposition) Ayes ­ 105. Noes ­ 3.

Abstentions 3. A good bill that standardises rail fai. I mean it’s not like you could

tell.

B175 ­ Key Stage 4 PSHE Bill ­(SoS Education) Ayes ­ 70. Noes ­ 33. Abstentions

­ 8 Still don't know what this bill does either, maybe it regulates SGARS?

B170 ­ Clean Transport Bill(Government) ­ Ayes ­ 90. Noes ­ 13. Abstentions ­ 7.

A good bill for the environment. Many are unaware that The Vanguard really do

care about our environment, and this bill will help it get better and prevent further

damage.

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Readings in the Lords

LB007 ­ Representation of the People Bill ­ Third Reading ­ Gross! Democracy!

Fair Representation! This bill is stinky of trying to take away power from the

mighty lords, I am very surprised it was proposed in the Lords.

LB008 ­ Charity Fund Raising Commission Bill ­ Third Reading ­ Pressing Bill!

The is absolutely the pressing issue of the day, how could we live without

Fundraising regulation? People will look back to this bill as truly to turning point

of societal values.

LB010 Electric busses bill | Amendment results and 3rd reading ­ Yes, I follow

many bills through their life. But I very much like this one, and with the recent

amendments passed, I hope it gets sent to the Commons.

LB012 ­ Armed Police Bill Second Reading ­ I am firmly against this bill! I do not

believe we can trust armed police. I would instead advocate for a new police squad

called Schutzstaffel “The Protection Squad” be created, I also think they should

wear black paramilitary uniforms Fancy uniforms reminiscent of our country’s

military.

B117 ­ Local Government (England) Bill ­ Committee Stage ­ The Culture killer

has moved on to the committee stage.

LB013 Petition Procedure Restructuring Repeal Bill ­ This bill does something

about petitions, I think I have to hate it cause fascism, but I am not sure...

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Lord Results

Bill Results

B156 Forestry (Preservation and Expansion) Bill 3rd reading results ­ Contents ­

27. Not Contents ­ 0. Very glad this bill is finally law, it is a good day.

B172 Results and Committee Stage ­ Content ­ 31. Not Content ­ 13. This is the

ghastly bill that leaglises same sex marriage within Northern Ireland. Maybe we

wouldn't have to kill our traditions if the idiotic conservative lords bothered to

show up…This bill will be sent to Committee

B144 ­ Computer Science Education Bill ­ Final Vote Results ­ Content ­ 28. Not

Content ­1. I still have issues with this bill in the way that it teaches programming.

However, I guess I am in the minority.

LB011 ­ Thames Estuary Airport Bill Second Reading Results ­ Content ­ 12. Not

Content ­28. Interesting that this bill was killed. It is the first time I have really

seen a bill die in the lords.

B126 ­ SGAR Regulation Bill Second Reading Results and Committee Stage ­

Contents ­38. Not Contents ­ 0. Still have no clue.

Amendment Results

LB007 ­ A01, A02, A03 Vote Results ­ A01 ­ Failed. A02 ­ Failed. A03 ­ Passed.

Wow, the lord’s have a very crappy turnout rate. Average 60%, that's terrible.

B161 Royal FOI bill amendment results and third reading ­ Again, stupid bill but:

A01 ­passed. Stupid bill kill it please!

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Question Time Notes - Commons

Justice

Minister of Justice ­ /u/Purpleslug

Director of Justice ­/u/OctogenarianSandwich

I. We see a worrying rise of people being prosecuted for what they say, with a

man being arrested for quoting Winston Churchill on the streets of Britain.

This is an attack on free speech, I fundamentally believe you should be

allowed to say what you want, and that you should not be tried like a

common criminal for simply speaking. Does the Secretary of State agree

with me, and if so, will you be taking any action to increase freedom of

speech. ­ /u/Duncs11

A. Freedom of speech is fundamentally important to me, even the right to

'hate speech'. I agree with you. Regarding 'action', I only have a

certain amount of cards to play, a bit of time and a bit of political

capital. I will endeavour to get some legislation done on this, if my

Government supports it, and if I can.

B. I'll just start this answer by saying that free speech doesn't give carte

blanche to say what you like when you like. The state should be very

careful when trying to regulate free speech because it is not our place

to judge. If free speech leads to the committing of a crime, an area

well within the state's competence, then there can be no objection.

That was a concerning situation for two different areas. The first is the

obvious. Should an individual be arrested for saying something people

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don't like? Strictly speaking the man was arrested for refusing to obey

a dispersal order but that order should never have been given and it

amounts to the same thing. The second area is that the man wasn't just

any old sod, he was running for election to the European Parliament.

If you'd said a man was arrested for seeking election because some

bystanders disagreed, you'd think the punishment was whipping with

bike chains. That being said, I don't believe the state can increase

freedom of speech. That's more in line with the American system,

where rights are granted by the state, in this case the second

amendment. In the UK, we have the right to do whatever isn't

prohibited. I can't increase freedom of speech as it is at it's maximum

point. All I could do is stop further encroachment by overzealous

police officers and touchy members of public. I am of the belief that

private bodies are just as deadly to the right to free speech as dictators

so if things continue as they are, change is necessary although I'm

hoping the courts well stand up and say "You're pushing your luck

there". At this point, I think it's worth remembering the ECHR, from

which a lot of anti­free speech arguments stem, explicitly states

nothing in it will allow one group to exercise its rights to the

destruction of another. Even that is telling people to grow a pair.

II. Currently under the Representation of the People Act 1981 prisoners are not

allowed to stand to be MPs. Does the Secretary of State agree with me that if

the public does not want to have a prisoner as their MP they will not elect

them and that we in parliament should not dictate who the public can and

who they cannot elect? ­/u/SPQR1776

A. It would be too unreasonable and for that reason I say 'no'. If you

mean where my will is, absolutely yes. But the impracticality of

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having a prisoner MP is just too much.

B. That's an interesting approach to elections. It sounds pretty similar to

free market ideas and we all know they don't always translate well

into reality. In theory, it is a good point. Parliament dictating who can

enter is a quick way to achieve a hegemonic system. However, there

are numerous valid reasons to disqualify someone from standing as an

MP and in this particular situation the fact is a prisoner could not

perform the duties of an MP while still being subject to their sentence.

So no, I wouldn't agree.

I. What is the honorable member's opinion on the current state of prisons in the

UK? ­/u/Ravenguardian17

A. Prisons overall seem to be doing okay. However, there are some

worrisome instances. In my county of Cambridgeshire, news broke of

a man held in solitary confinement for more than two years. I express

distaste at this bizarre treatment, which is simply unfair.

B. It needs a fairly serious overhaul. In some cases, we have people

sitting wasting away when they could be providing for the country, in

others we have criminals guilty of detestable offences whose lives

aren't much removed from those of us who have never once broken

the law. One size doesn't fit all for prisoners. A lot of talk is given to

rehabilitation as if that is the only goal of prisons. There are at least

three more; protection, punishment, deterrent. Clearly the first goal

cannot be met with such nonsense as open prisons, and the latter two

can't be met if prisons are no more uncomfortable than a Dundee b&b.

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Prime Minister's Questions Prime Minister ­ /u/Can_triforce

Leader of The Party ­ /u/AlbrechtVonRoon

I. How does the Prime Minister react to the independent member of his

government continuing to spy on Conservative subreddits? Will the Prime

Minister be taking any action towards the independent member due to his

atrocious actions? ­ /u/TheQuipton

A. It is my belief that /u/RoryTime should remove himself as a

moderator of those subreddits, however active or inactive they may

be. However, I can see no situation in which such a meta issue would

have consequences with regards to his position within the

government.

B. As always, the Vanguard is proven right eventually. Amongst other

things, we had always made it clear our concern over Rory's biased

nature. But, this concern was never overly serious, and I think this

remains true. Rory acted foolishly, but I think moderation should be

applied in response. From what I can gather, he did not leak that

information. To describe it as 'atrocious' is hyperbole, and it is this

sort of overreaction to the smallest of slights, to 'micro­aggressions',

which serves to maintain bitterness between members of the House.

II. Will you condemn the American government for indiscriminately killing

thousands of innocent people in the Middle East? ­ /u/SolidBlues

A. I would indeed condemn certain previous administrations for their

failures in the Middle East, and we will be working with our allies to

place ethics and moral purpose at the heart of our foreign policy.

B. I will not. The situation is confused, and while I may not support

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America's actions I do not think us condemning them will change a

thing, nor promote a solution to the Middle Eastern problems. They

are fighting a great evil, one that we all recognise as evil, and

unfortunately some innocents may suffer, but it is for the benefit of

the many.

III.What does the prime minister think of initiatives by the Radical Socialist

party to democratize private industry? ­ /u/Ravenguardian17

A. I would support the implementation of European style

codetermination within the UK, though I have the impression that the

Radical Socialists will aim to go further than that.

B. I know little of their proposals, but I imagine I won't give them my support. They will doubtless fail to recognise the cooperation that

must exist between the employer and the employee, and instead put

the focus on the employee, as though the employer is some sort of

villain. But, we will have to wait and see their full proposals in bill

form.

Lordy Oral Questions

Education

Minister of Education ­ Ack8

Directory of Education­ tjm91

Our Director of Education would like to preface this question time with a comment

about the Education Secretary: “It is dispiriting to see from his[/u/Ack8] answers

how little value the current education secretary places on our grammar schools, to

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the point that he cannot even consider them on a par with other state schools under

his care. Those of us who care for our nation's children will watch with concern as

his time in office procedes”

I. Is the Minister of Education going to encourage "well rounded pupils"?

(ones that are good in Athletics, Arts, and Academics) ­ /u/ChrispyToast123

A. I think the well rounded pupil as you described isn't necessarily the be

all and end all of education if we end up producing Jack of all trades,

master of none. We have to ensure that the opportunities are available

however so that our children can try as many subjects before they

choose their GCSE options and keep the subjects available to them

afterwards. If pupils simply do not enjoy one part of being 'well

rounded' we shouldn't force them to continue past during and after key

stage 4 as it will not achieve anything.

B. It is vital to ensure that all pupils have a fair opportunity to be exposed

to sport, the creative arts, and a full range of academic subjects, as

well as a wide variety of other extracurricular activities such as

debating. This is an area where the state sector often lags behind,

which has been a major factor in the growth of private education over

recent years. Other than common sense steps like increasing funding

for sport and extracurriculars, and putting a stop to short­sighted sales

of playing fields, we need to do more to learn from the success of

independent schools. It is vital we ensure all pupils have unfettered

access to well­stocked libraries not only to support their education but

if broader personal development. This can be through partnerships

between state and independent schools, or active hiring policies which

encourage senior leadership to move to state schools. I would be

cautious however and remark that while we need to provide

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opportunities for pupils in all spheres, we should be aware that not all

excel everywhere. I was a mediocre sportsman, though in hindsight I

benefited from PE. Too often an effort to ensure ability all­round

produces universal mediocrity rather than particular success.

C. D.

II. Is the Minister of Education in favor of unified curriculum to make

schooling more fair? ­ /u/ChrispyToast123

A. Yes I am, and there will be the introduction of a single exam board

this parliament so all students will sit the same exam so there can be

no claims of unfairness.

B. I would say that a unified curriculum has the benefit of interpretability

­ an employer or higher education authority will know what a pupil

has learned by referencing their exam certificates. However, a truly

universal curriculum will ensure that basic standards of literacy and

numeracy are met, and beyond that a basic knowledge of British

history. Too few pupils nowadays benefit from such a regime.

III.I wish to ask the education secretary whether his government have any plans

to extend grammar schools or whether to continue their decline in Britain. ­

/u/jwarman99

A. We will we maintain the current number, however no more will be

built and, like private school, we will ensure they integrate fully with

society. Personally I think we should aim to bring state schools up

rather than abandon hope and say grammar schools offer a better

education.

B. The Vanguard is unambiguous in its support for grammar schools. We

see not only the advantage of such a route for the most academic

students but also the benefit of engendering an ethos of achievement.

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Furthermore, by allowing schools to focus more on standard and

lower achieving pupils we will allow them to provide closer care.

Leader of The House of Lords.

Leader of The House of Lords ­ /u/AlbertDock

Father of The Party ­ /u/rhodesianwaw

I. Can the Noble Lord offer encouragement to Lords on both sides of the

chamber to come in here, comment, debate, and vote to create an

environment that is more self sustaining?­/u/Trident46

A. I would certainly encourage all lords of whatever party to come and

debate in this chamber. I would be willing to listen to any ideas to

increase participation of Noble Lords, particularly those who rarely

comment in debates and often fail to vote.

B. The Lords chamber is a privilege, one that is the fruit of many months

of hard work by people that many of us know well and may consider

friends. It is not only counterproductive to abandon the MHoL, but

simply ungrateful. I'm not sure what experience people reading this

had, but in my time there I found the MHoL to be far more civil and

friendly than the other place. All in all, it's really not as bad as people

like to pretend, and it works.

II. Currently, non­Lords are not allowed to participate in debates here.

However, non­MP are allowed to participate in the Commons. What are the

Noble Lord's thoughts on the situation?­/u/wuttin

A. Whilst appreciating the need to keep this house special, there is a case

to allow some who haven't been ennobled to speak here. At present

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we permit a bill's author to address the house. This could be extended

to permit ministers and shadow ministers whose department is

affected by a bill to put their case.

B. MHoC is the main subreddit, MHoL is reserved for those chosen few.

You wouldn't let anyone comment and take part in committees, why

let them take part in the MHoL?

The Longest Press Release Ever - Editorial.

I hope everyone enjoyed this press release, it was a bitch to make. The amount of

bills/question times made this very tedious. However, I hope to see you next week

same time same place.

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