using a living theory methodology in improving practice...

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Volume x(y): nx-ny www.ejolts.net ISSN 2009-1788 Educational Journal of Living Theories Applying my living values of respect, integrity and creativity in a post-compulsory education setting Julian Manuel Julian Manuel University of Bolton Copyright: © 2008 Manuel. This is an open access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution Non- Commercial License, which permits unrestricted non- commercial use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original author and source are credited.

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Volume x(y): nx-nywww.ejolts.netISSN 2009-1788

Educational Journal of Living Theories

Applying my living values of respect, integrity and creativity in a post-compulsory education setting

Julian Manuel

Julian Manuel

University of Bolton

Copyright: © 2008 Manuel. This is an open access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial License, which permits unrestricted non-commercial use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original author and source are credited.

Abstract

This paper outlines how my classroom experiences within a Further Education (FE) institution over a twenty five year period have developed a living theory methodology which asks, ‘How can I improve my practice?’ (Whitehead 1989). It explains how I first recognised and then nurtured my values, and how my teaching philosophy developed. It also explains how I worked to negate the contradictions I recognised in every-day practice by reflecting upon those experiences and introduced my own values in order to improve my practice. The paper outlines my three living values. It describes events and experiences which have formed these values into becoming a Living Educational Theory (LET), and explains how they have become rooted in me to become part of who I am. It offers my account of living experiences which demonstrate how my values are, on occasion, challenged, contradicted, or indeed acknowledged and respected in both my roles as support tutor and teacher in an FE setting. It evinces occasions where my actions were ultimately inconsistent with my values as I was required to uphold government policies and College practices rather than apply my own judgement. Warren and Bigger (2017:13) describe this predisposition as being akin to wearing a mask, which I was required to don in both my roles. This was possible through linking my experiences to existing theory, and then applying reconsideration and reflection in order to interpret these findings into my own living theory.

Keywords: Education Policy; Living Educational Theory; Values; Further Education.

Caitriona McDonagh, 28/05/18,
Not in references
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51 The short title of paper

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52Author(s)

My living values

RespectI value respect, not only in classrooms but everywhere in life. It is integral to society. My own respect for my teachers ensured that I was ready to listen and to learn. Without that respect I may not have afforded any attention to school lessons and, as a consequence, failed to achieve academically. I am in no doubt that respect is earned rather that bestowed upon someone. However, it follows from my experience that those who have knowledge to impart and are willing to do so to improve life chances should be afforded respect. My expectation, therefore, is that those around me should appreciate the value of the knowledge and experience. Students ought to respect their teachers, and teachers should respect their peers as they have knowledge and experiences that can be shared. I have gathered knowledge and experience throughout my twenty-five years of teaching and supporting students and, as such, those around me should respect me for that, even if they may disagree on occasion. It follows that my students should afford me respect for my work in trying to empower them to improve their potential. My peers, and also those who manage teaching and supporting, should also acknowledge that I have a great deal to offer in terms of enlightening and improving present practices. Managers are responsible for setting the tone for working with students and to promote the College ethos, and teaching and support staff have little opportunity to influence policy and programs. It is ironic that they cannot advance professionally without leaving the classroom and being promoted into an administrative position (Lortie 1975). Having achieved this they lose touch with students and, importantly, the classroom perspective. More significantly, they can also lose credibility with their colleagues as instructional leaders (Berry et al (2010).

IntegrityMy integrity is something I value. I should be permitted, if not positively encouraged, to do what I feel is right and proper, and I should be allowed to be honest in my opinions with staff and students alike if I feel that I can improve practices by offering and applying my knowledge and experience. I have always favoured honesty and, unlike some employees who are concerned with teaching and supporting learners and are hesitant to challenge the college ethos, I am not afraid to voice my opinion. I believe that discussion and debate should be positively encouraged in order to improve present practices, especially as those who have the power to make changes are no longer in touch with students and present challenges. It is my integrity that helped me identify my values and without it I could not continue to develop them.

CreativityThe introduction of inclusive practices brought a cohort of students to mainstream classrooms who presented with a plethora of mental and physical challenges (Warnock 1976). This called for specialist training and creativity on the part of teaching and support staff to make certain that the needs of the Report were met. The subsequent ever increasing range in the diversity and need has meant that teaching and support staff must continue to upskill, and work to ensure that all students have parity of opportunity, and that the curriculum must be delivered and supported to suit an additional array of needs and learning styles. This, in turn,

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implies that differentiation is more important than ever, and this requires real creativity from teaching and support staff to encompass such diversity. It could be claimed that creativity has become the life blood of education, and ultimately, success in classrooms.

IntroductionThe creation of a Living Educational Theory requires that any claims made should be evinced through those experiences outlined and presented as journal entries (Bruce Ferguson 2016:28). Before building a living theory and interpretation of findings can take place, living through those real life experiences must be achieved (Heathcote 1984:84). My research account will then achieve the necessary ethical and moral validity in its production (Whitehead and McNiff 2006). Social criteria of comprehensibility, truthfulness, sincerity and appropriateness, in accordance with Habermas (1987) should be considered in judging the validity and evidence-based account of our own learning. I will use myself as a living contradiction by reporting on discord between my own values and beliefs and my actions (McNiff and Whitehead 2010:91). My practitioner educational research shows how potential contributions to new practices can result from the use of my own educational-values based visions, although such values can only be asserted within the parameters of government and College policy. It is also important that trust is developed so that my scholarly and moral credibility can be validated and acted upon (Whitehead and McNiff 2006:8).

My current positionI am presently employed within the FE sector and have recently been awarded a College prize for completing twenty-five years’ service, in and out of class as a support tutor and teacher, and as a lecturer within the higher education provision of the College. Despite the longevity of my employment I have only two small permanent contracts amounting to ten and a half hours weekly. Additional employment is arranged by awarding me a number of further small contracts as needs are identified. During the first fifteen years of my career I was required to teach adults who had chosen to revisit learning within an evening class setting. Some had been brought to my classroom through developing an interest in the subject on offer. Many wanted to better themselves in order to change careers or be considered for promotion, and many came solely with the intention of challenging themselves. Latterly, and in complete contrast, much of the teaching and support I have delivered has been directed towards younger students, many of whom are attending College for very different reasons. Some attend because they must, by law, as The Department for Education and Skills now requires young people to stay in education or training until their eighteenth birthday (DfES 2008). The College’s catchment area, having being designated as a ‘14-19 pathfinder’, meant that local schools and my College worked with the local authority and the Learning and Skills Council to offer a range of training options and courses in order to attract younger students into the FE sector (DfES 2005). Others find themselves in College classrooms because there appears to be no alternative. A great number of them may attend GCSE English and Maths sessions in order to improve on a grade they had attained during their time in compulsory education, and these sessions form part of their main programme, which

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Caitriona McDonagh, 28/05/18,
Check if this is in references
Caitriona McDonagh, 28/05/18,
Who is our?
Caitriona McDonagh, 28/05/18,
I am not sure that this is sufficient according to McNiff and Whitehead.
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may be any of a range of subjects from construction to catering. Adult students are taught and supported by encouraging an andragogic, self-directed learning style (Knowles et al 2015). Younger students must be taught in a pedagogic style, with much more involvement, input and direction from teaching and support staff.

My past education Before my time in College, my school years and prior occupations have been rich and varied. It was as a high school student that I began to be aware of my living values. I was selected to become a prefect at a time when students who were members of the hockey first eleven, for example, were normally chosen for such a role. Instead, I had come to the selection panel’s attention for my integrity as someone who, according to my school report, had displayed good moral character, decency and trustworthiness, and for my creativity, both in my writing and in my art work. Art and English were taught by Mr and Mrs MacPherson. Indeed, I had one particular piece of my art work selected to adorn the cover of a menu used for a Burns’ supper evening attended by councillors and other local dignitaries. I also had several of my creations exhibited within the local library and halls with Mr MacPherson’s help and guidance. My English writing was also commended. This was surprising as my dyslexia, undiagnosed at that time, was a barrier to accessing texts used in class as well as those recommended for reading as homework. Instead, I listened carefully to my English teacher, Mrs MacPherson. She became a significant role model, as she helped me to understand the importance of affording respect to those who could offer me the benefit of their knowledge as well as their support and guidance. Some found her to be a formidable woman but saw her as fair and just. She was exceptionally creative in her delivery of the subject and often found myself styling my responses as she would. We were to be assessed on our knowledge and understanding of Macbeth, and it was obvious to me that she loved the story and its players. She brought each one to life with her analysis of the text and outlining the characters’ many facets. I absorbed her explanations, opinions and instructions and managed to achieve highly in English lessons without ever possessing a copy of the bard’s work. Somehow I did not manage to acquire one alongside the other class members, and as I did not read particularly well anyway, I elected not to trouble her for a copy. My learning style involved listening rather than reading. Mrs MacPherson never did learn that I owed my success directly to her, rather than the pages of a text book.

This, no doubt, was how my own living values were originally formed. My English teacher was truly inspirational and her belief in me began a self-fulfilling prophesy. Her own creativity brought the lessons to life and sustained my enthusiasm. I too had to be creative, taking on board everything Mrs MacPherson had to share with me, by memorising the quotes she used to illustrate her claims as she explained the story and the motives of each character, and being unafraid to put my hand up to eagerly take part in the discussions. I respected her because she clearly knew her subject and I knew that I could benefit from her knowledge and experience. She reciprocated, respecting me for my contributions to the lesson. In order to be nominated as prefect I had earned her respect and the respect of other teachers. In this role, my integrity strengthened as I sought fairness and decency, both characteristics of one who exhibits integrity, when interacting with younger students in my effort to guide them throughout their time in school. I had earned the ‘labels’

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afforded to me, good moral character, decency and trustworthiness, and from that day forth I endeavoured to live up to them. I had intended to continue on to higher education. However, after studying a year of Higher certificate subjects and passing the preliminary examinations my mother removed me from school to install me in full time employment in a factory.

My past employmentDuring the years following my school education I continued to value my creativeness and I held various jobs where this imaginativeness and inventiveness could continue to flourish. After leaving the factory job I became an entertainer, and spent many years singing in night clubs and on cruise ships. Such creativeness became invaluable later within College classrooms where my talent to entertain came to the fore and became instrumental during my teaching career. I reflect upon those years, comparing facing a live audience who were expecting to be entertained to a classroom of students who expected to learn from me. Indeed, I viewed both scenarios as rather similar. Both situations involved an audience of sorts, in that if students were enjoying the learning experience, and therefore entertained, there was likelihood that they would be able to retain information and therefore contribute successfully to the lesson. I also became a painter and decorator, having my own company which also offered design consultation. Again, my audience was my customers who would listen to my advice and suggestions and experience satisfaction from results. Such experiences have served to nurture my living values of respect, integrity and creativity.

Many of my teaching years have been sited within the adult education sector. Latterly however, FE institutions were instructed to attract those students straight from compulsory education (DfES 2005; Donovan 2005:154). This initiative brought new challenges to teachers who perhaps had chosen to instruct adults in particular rather than children in a compulsory setting. Indeed, many FE teachers, including myself, felt ill-equipped to deal with this new cohort, and now had to respond to the needs of teenagers (Bathmaker and Avis 2007). Students previously had enrolled purely of their own volition and fully intended to learn. This policy, however, brought students who were not always willing participants. I now had to remain andragogic, but develop a more pedagogic approach within my roles of teaching and supporting. These students brought new challenges, and often these challenges prevented learning taking place. This new generation arrived with a different attitude to the learning environment. They did not value education. Nor did they respect their teachers as I had. Significantly, they could become the architects of their own College experience. They felt it was their prerogative to dictate what was to happen and what was not to happen. Teachers had lost their authority due to a more benevolent, student-centred approach introduced by a New Labour government led by Blair in the late 1990s (Ecclestone and Hayes 2009), and the influx of this new cohort brought a very different experience to me. It was during those years that I began to appreciate the significance of my strong living values, and how their existence had, and continued to shape my praxis daily within the College classroom. My higher education It was Blair’s Labour government which brought compulsory retraining for teachers within FE (DfES 2006). It became necessary for me to attain a Professional

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Certificate in Education (PCE) or a Professional Graduate Certificate in Education (PGCE), the latter if I held a degree qualification, which I did not. This compulsory route became the catalyst for me to re-join higher education. After having attained a PCE qualification I found that this would count as accredited prior learning towards a degree course, eliminating the need for Higher level certificates which had been crucial to access university entry during my high school years. I then read for and gained a First Class Batchelor of Arts with Honours degree in Education and won the prize for Student of the Year at my university. Two of my modules required observing students in their classroom situations and these observations were completed, presented and graded. These experiences served as practice for building my own LET which must be validated by experience and reflection, by teaching me how to analyse observation, reflect upon how learning was managed, and what could be done to improve my own practice, as Whitehead (1989) asked himself. I had not considered prior to observing and writing up my analysis how such action research could inform my own practice. I achieved my first class degree with honours and continued my education to gain the award of Master’s degree with Distinction in Education Research. During this stage of my study I learned much more about the importance of reflection by considering the writings of Schön (1987), Boud et al (Bolton (2010) and Moon (2004;2006).

Presently, I am working to complete my Professional Doctorate in Education. This paper forms part of my thesis, and gathering my thoughts together has reminded me of my own history in education and study along the journey to be where I am now. My thesis supervisor, Dr Brian Williamson, and I discussed the possibility of building a Living Educational Theory. He had discussed his own values with me, much as he had done previously with his own mentor, Dr Pippa Bruce Ferguson. She was instrumental in unpicking my supervisor’s thoughts and ideas regarding his own values and, in turn, he then became the catalyst that helped me identify my own. Living values are themselves living and growing, in the sense that there is always more to learn about oneself and one’s values and how difficult it can be on occasion to live by and assert these values. Indeed, the writing of this paper has nurtured and advanced the growth of my own values further, by involving reviewers, Professor Moira Laidlaw and Dr Catriona Mc Donagh, who have also aided in the process of continuous reinforcement.

Generating a living theoryA living theory is an explanation produced by an individual for their educational influence in their own learning, in the learning of others and in the learning of the social formation in which they live and work (Whitehead 2009:104). The process of clarifying the means of energy-flowing values in the explanatory principles as these emerge through practice includes action reflection cycles in which practitioners express their concerns when their values are challenged and cannot be lived as fully as they would wish. Following reflection, they imagine the generation of possibilities which could allow them to live their values more fully, and form an action plan to apply, consider its effectiveness and evaluate their influence in relation to their values, skills and understandings (Whitehead and Huxtable 2010).

I have chosen to offer some of my experiences in the form of journal entries. LET researchers aim to make an original contribution to knowledge through generating

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Caitriona McDonagh, 28/05/18,
Is something missing?
Caitriona McDonagh, 28/05/18,
Missing from references?
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their own educational theory. The living theory research approach demonstrates respect for the educational researcher as an agent for educational change and improvements (McNiff and Whitehead 2009; Kincheloe 1991). This theory must then be judged to evince that the opportunity to learn has improved for students for them to become more successful. To validate the theory, practice must reform and the researcher must grow as a practitioner. The following experiences evince how I improved my practice by experiencing a challenge to my values, reflecting upon the incident and choosing an action plan to gather data, evaluate the effectiveness of a plan for improvement, and act upon my judgement (Whitehead and Huxtable 2010:9). Reflective journal writing in the form of critical incidents facilitated the opportunity for me to evince my growth in understanding (Blaikie 2000; Moon 2006; Schön 1987; Schratz and Walker 1995). It became a heuristic tool for self-understanding and self-improvement (Bruner 1990; Cassam 1997; Stevens and Cooper 2009; Cooper and Dunlap 1989; Dewey 1933). As Schön (1983:68) asserts, “when someone reflects-in-action, he becomes a researcher in the practice context. He is not dependent on the categories of established theory and technique, but constructs a new theory of the unique case”. My own reflective process will follow that of Gibbs’ six stage reflective cycle (1988). I will outline an experience where one or more of my values are denied in my practice, and include background information to provide a context. Gibbs describes the reflective cycle as follows:-

1 I describe my feelings towards this and my thoughts regarding how and why this has taken place. I will outline my emotions honestly.

2 I evaluate the experience, outlining what was good or bad about the situation I was in. I evaluate the situation and consider how I and others reacted, whether good or bad. I consider whether the situation was resolved or not.

3 I analyse the situation as I try to make sense of what happened. I consider what may have either helped or hindered the event.

4 I consider what else I could have done to avoid my values being challenged. I identify what I have learned from the experience and consider whether I could have responded in a different way. I also consider whether there is anything I could have changed to improve a positive experience, or whether I could have avoided a negative experience happening, asking how I could ensure that it does not happen again.

5 I consider and devise an action plan to apply if a similar situation arose again. This could involve additional training in order to become better equipped to deal with situations.

My value of ‘respect’

Lack of communicationWhile supporting in class, a new staff member appeared and was asked by the teacher to sit next to a student who was identified and assigned to me as requiring support. I suggested that this new member must have been assigned different students in the group, and asked who these were. This enquiry was met with disdain, and I was asked, “does it matter?” I tried to support my student as best as I could although this new person was sitting next to her. This proved to be awkward. I waited until the end of the lesson to discuss this. However, the teacher did not want to take part in any discussion with me. I stated that individual support staff are allocated

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Caitriona McDonagh, 28/05/18,
Reference?
Caitriona McDonagh, 28/05/18,
Check date?
Caitriona McDonagh, 28/05/18,
Check reference
Caitriona McDonagh, 28/05/18,
Reference?
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individual students who are identified as having a need for support. She ignored me and turned to face her computer where she was detailing her register. At that point I decided to offer her an email to arrange a meeting. She stated that this was not necessary, so I left.

The incident had made me feel insignificant, and therefore, disrespected enormously. I was somewhat tearful, and angry that she had not made herself available to discuss the incident. I reported this to my support coordinator who stated that I was right in my actions, and that she would speak with the teacher about how support and its funding is allocated. Moreover, he was not aware of another member of staff being allocated support hours in this class. The teacher was spoken to, but she stated that she would now refuse to work with me as I had intimidated her. Again, this indicated to me that my status as a support tutor meant very little to her, or indeed her line manager. As a consequence, I lost my contract working with her, and I reflected upon how a successful working partnership could end so negatively. It is clear that some teachers embrace support staff while others sense a threat (Bailey and Robson 2004).This situation had developed as I had tried to uphold my own values, and I had experienced my own ‘living contradiction’ (Whitehead 1989). The experience enforced my belief that I must continue to attempt to forge good relationships with the teachers I work with, and that this experience should not decry the many other good working relationships I have experienced.

Awarding students autonomy I attended a practical catering session as a support tutor, where students were tasked to produce a meat and vegetable stew. As beginners, the students first had to learn how to slice vegetables. The teacher demonstrated the dicing of carrots and potatoes. Onions, however, required the removal of the top to produce a flat area for it to stand steady on the chopping board. Each student was issued with a small sharp vegetable knife for the task, and I was tasked to ensure that instructions were understood and carried out properly.

Following some disruptive behaviour, some students eventually attempted to follow instructions but were struggling to hold the vegetables in position with the knives at the correct angle as demonstrated. I tried to assist and re-demonstrate. I requested the teacher’s assistance but it appeared to me that she thought that I was being too heavy handed with the students. She explained to me privately that mistakes were inevitable in the kitchen learning environment and that they would learn from these errors as they progressed. She hinted that if I tried to control their behaviour I may damage the little confidence they had, and that to criticise would put their self-esteem at risk. As she spoke to me, one student held an onion head-high in front of his face and was attempting to slice the top off with a larger knife, holding the sharp side of the blade towards him. I was concerned that if I called out to him to stop he would be startled, and slice towards his face and into his nose. I quietly alerted the teacher who observed quietly and waited for him to either succeed or give up before showing him again how to cut on a chopping board. Thankfully, no injury was sustained. My discreet pleas to the teacher regarding this situation made me appear to her to be over-reacting and concerned about nothing at all.

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Caitriona McDonagh, 28/05/18,
Awarding or rewarding? Students’
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Latterly, I recalled how volatile some of these students were, and now that they were armed with blades and unwilling to follow instruction I had felt incredibly unsafe. I was also puzzled by the teacher’s lack of concern. I felt as if I should have been able to control the environment to make it safer for all. The students had demonstrated that they had little or no respect for those who were attempting to instruct them. This challenged my own values. However, my status as a support tutor meant that my values were of little concern. I was left feeling concerned that the incident was allowed to happen, and then allowed to continue as it did. Overall, the incident scared me greatly. It seemed that there was nothing I could do. Loads (2007:92) would promote emotional openness as a method of building rapport and, ultimately, retaining and assuring student success, while Ecclestone and Hayes (2009) would argue that teacher authority is essential, and that its recent demise has been detrimental to education. While I felt that my concerns were valid, they were considered invalid by those responsible for curriculum delivery. I reflected that the teacher’s actions were correct as she was required to practice a student-centred approach by facilitating learning, where the aim is to develop learner autonomy (DES 1967; Rogers 1983). I reflected that autonomy should be awarded to those who can prove themselves to be respectful to those around them. However, instruction to award this to students is rooted in the student-centred approach that we must all observe and practice. I concluded that if those students were to find themselves employed within the industry they would be required to keep the work areas clean and tidy, and I could not imagine any employer being over-concerned with their employees’ fragility in quite the same way. I also concluded that prevention would involve one-to-one support which would prove both costly and unworkable in a confined kitchen area.

Belittling my status My value of respect was challenged again when I was instructed to support a mixed group of Level One and Entry Level students studying Functional Skills (FS) maths. This was a new intake of students and I searched for background information regarding those I was required to support, and others who may display an additional need. This group numbered seventeen in total, twelve being male. This was an extremely needy group with seven of them ‘identified’ as having additional needs including dyslexia, dyspraxia, Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of Autism which can manifest as obsessive behaviour. Twelve of them had severe social and emotional behavioural difficulties (SEBD). I was asked by the teacher to sit between two students, neither of whom was identified as having an entitlement to support and therefore not attracting college funding for this. This was not an unusual request. One student in particular laughed or shouted out constantly and ignored any teaching instruction. After delivery of the aims and objectives of the lesson the students were required to write down exercises provided on the whiteboard and make simple calculations in order to solve the problems. Initially, it proved difficult for the subject teacher to acquire the students’ attention, and she struggled to keep everyone quiet enough to be heard at all. The delivery of the lesson was centred on measurements and adjusting recipes according to needs and requirements. It appeared that none of these students arrived with an intention to

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engage in the lesson and had not brought a writing instrument. Paper was being thrown around the room, followed by empty and part-full plastic bottles when the paper did not achieve the desired disruption level. Mobile phones were in use by at least half of the group members consistently throughout the lesson. Aside of the teacher’s repeated instructions to put these away into in bags or pockets where they would be less of a distraction, I also asked several times that they be put away. I requested assistance with this from the tutor many times.

As a support tutor I try to keep students on task and repeat or clarify teacher instructions as necessary. However, while music was being played and texts and photographs were being taken, and exchanged, and one student next to me actually watching and listening to a football match, this proved to be difficult. The student viewing football became so annoyed that he was being denied the opportunity to continue watching that he got up and lifted his chair, and threw it in my direction, then left the room in an abusive manner. The student had experienced a Stage Two disciplinary procedure the week before and had considerable anger management issues. The teacher left the room to inform the Head of School (HOS) leaving me with the remaining students. The teacher, eventually arrived back in the room with her HOS, and she then introduced me to this person as her ‘crowd control’. This term made me smile slightly in acknowledgement that this did appear to be accepted by some teachers as significant part of my job. The college uses Etrakr, a computer program enabling the recording any incidents or concerns and I completed the entry as I recalled it. I completed this, then consulted with my manager who agreed that I should speak to the teacher about what had happened and how the situation had made me feel. I visited her staff room where I found her adjusting her lesson plans and scheme of work accordingly. As I approached her she remarked that I was lucky I did not have to do this. I advised her that I was a teacher of many years standing as well as a support tutor. She was surprised at this, and had assumed that my abilities began and ended at looking after students to keep them on task and repeating tutor instructions. She elected to share this information with others in the School and out relationship improved over the following weeks and months.

Following the incident I was left with a feeling of utter frustration, not only because the lesson was not completed, but also because I had been disrespected and belittled. This should not have happened and the teaching staff should have considered my status and experience before introducing me as someone who would endeavour to keep students quiet and check bad behaviour. However, I managed to remain professional and had left the classroom without challenging the teaching staff or allowing my feelings to impact on the event. The offending student returned to the class for the following FS session without consequence, and I was sure that a similar situation could arise again. This occurrence demonstrated lack of respect from staff, as well as from students present. As Bailey and Robson (2004) assert. Some teachers may see support staff as their assistants, whereas their role is entirely student led. Further, I reflected that if the teacher had introduced me as a valuable member of staff rather than ‘crowd control’ I may have been afforded some respect from the students, and the session

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may not have ended so negatively. After my Etrackr entries were read by support coordinators I was asked to either make more positive comments, or remove the entries altogether. This questioning of my account of the incident furthered my own living theory by questioning and challenging my integrity. This became a blatant contradiction of my living value, but there was nothing else I could have done.

The situation had felt dangerous as the student’s friends remained in the classroom and were also annoyed with the continuous requests to stop yelling at each other take part in the lesson. However, once again I was reminded that ‘student centred’ education meant that staff could not take full charge of the classroom environment in order to deliver learning (Ecclestone and Hayes 2009). I concluded that much time was focused on those who chose to disrupt the lesson at the expense of those who did not, and I reflected upon how my value of respect had been challenged. I had carried out my job to the best of my ability under the circumstances. However, I felt that little respect had been afforded to me, or my role, this being one of my values. I hoped that the teacher would view me differently as a result of this incident.

Teachers, rather than support staff are acknowledged controllers of the class environment (Armitage et al 2003:91; Fawbert 2003:147; Petty 2004:391; Walkin 1990:69). Ultimately, they are responsible for curriculum delivery, as they design and plan lessons and employ appropriate strategies which will develop learner attributes and are credited for producing positive results in the form of high achievement percentages. Therefore, support staff are required to acknowledge that it is teachers who are accountable (Hutchings 2015) and respond to their direction without compromising their obligation towards identified learners. However, support staff are assigned to particular students who are identified as having a need for additional assistance. The policy’s intention is to offer parity of opportunity and not to offer advantages to some as selected by teachers. A few of the students continued to take part in the lesson and managed to produce a little of the work requested of them. However, the aims and objectives set for that lesson were not entirely met. Ultimately, some of the lesson could not be delivered.I concluded that more communication may be needed between teaching staff and those who support learners who are deemed to require additional assistance. With more understanding and more control, learning could perhaps have continued. The fundamentals of academic writing Some of my teaching contract was assigned to teach first-year degree students how to present their work academically. These were ten in number and I had heard from their course tutors that they were troublesome. For example, they had attendance rates of seventy two to eighty percent, and lateness was also an issue. Academic writing was essential to their course and an essay was required in order to achieve the module. My first session did not go well. Three entered the room with me. Another three arrived around ten minutes into the session after I had already explained the aims and objectives. I intended to take them as a group to the library where we could examine resources for referencing styles and bring some books of their choosing back to the classroom. The students left the room ahead of me as I had to lock up and leave resources in the staff room before meeting them. However,

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I quickly realised that they were no longer on the premises. I had been only minutes behind them but they had managed to get themselves off campus. I stayed in the library for a further twenty minutes before returning to the staff room to report this.

Following a further sharp reminder of the importance of writing appropriately, the group arrived late for their second session. As before, I had to repeat some instruction. This time I had been to the library prior to the lesson to pick up ten books and three journals. This was met with disinterest. One student stated that he did not see the point of referencing. I abandoned the planned session and began to explain instead the importance of referencing, and why it must be done accurately. I also explained that all disciplines in HE included this module. Some then left the room. I called out to ask them to stay as they would not be marked as attending the session if they left. The remaining students elected not to partake, having their laptops open and working on their reports instead. My third session was observed and again the session turned into a stand-off. My lesson was well prepared. My handouts were efficient and clear and my Scheme of Work and Lesson Plan met with requirements. However, I was awarded a grade of 3, which was more than disappointing. Following this, the HOS addressed the students regarding how the course was for them, and what could be improved. This resulted in me losing my contract to teach them. In short, they did not want to partake in my module, so it was removed from their timetable.

I felt that this was the wrong thing to do. The value of this module was enormous in terms of producing academic writing. These were first year students who could not appreciate that their assignments must be presented in a pre-determined way, and that they must acknowledge other authors when they used their work in their own writings. They felt that they had won, when in actual fact, I felt that they had lost a vital component which would contribute to their success as academic writers, and this was sad. As Allender and Allender (2008:127) believe, teachers historically have been losing status and are now viewed, undeservedly, as incompetent and, therefore, disrespected as a result. I felt the students’ loss. This incident, I felt, would also negatively impact upon other teachers involved in the delivery of other modules. Colleges are now businesses (Hayes and Wynyard 2002; Lucas and Crowther 2016), and they must prove to be successful in order to continue. Students not presenting their work properly would have their efforts marked down accordingly. Therefore, the situation was not resolved at all.

The situation was not improved by the actions of the HOS. There is much research being done about so-called ‘snowflake’ students, and how much emphasis is put on the happiness of the student as a customer (Abbott and Abbott 2017; Brooks 2016; Fox 2016a: 2016b; De Pasquale 2017); Roberts 2017; Ryan 2017; Turner 2017; Willis 2014). Although teachers are employed to impart knowledge and guide students through their journey in order to ultimately achieve and to secure work in their chosen industry, it seems now that our knowledge and opinions are undervalued and that students dictate what happens in classrooms. We must not do anything to upset them, and we must keep them registered on their course at all costs. Learning to write academically is an important component of any HE student’s development. My scheme of work and my lesson plans were concise and carefully written to meet with the course and the college requirements. My lessons are

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Check brackets
Caitriona McDonagh, 28/05/18,
Check references
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normally fun as I believe that enjoyment is an important part of learning. Indeed, my creativity should have ensured an entertaining lesson and I believe that I could not have planned or delivered any better. However, teachers delivering a module as part of a team can only deliver with the support of each member of that team. I concluded that not enough emphasis was given in the course handbook to the importance of graduate study and academic writing. I have since attempted to join forces with those charged with the responsibility of accreditation of degree courses with a view to perhaps embedding the subject of graduate study.

Challenging my values of ‘respect’ and ‘creativity’

Learning without interruption Following a morning break, a theory lesson involving twelve female students could not continue as one student arrived back in the classroom completely distraught. Most of the other students were around her trying to comfort her. The teacher was naturally concerned and asked after the nature of her grievance. The student did not wish to share her problem with staff or students, and struggled to express this as she could hardly speak through her tears. Therefore, much speculation took place. Immediately, concerns for her safety and wellbeing became paramount, and a call was made to the senior pastoral tutor and employability coaches on site. Despite staff’s best efforts the student could not be consoled in the classroom and she was removed, and the lesson was effectively brought to a complete halt by this incident. All were eventually dismissed and were instructed to return to classes after the lunch break. Her HOS became involved and teacher and I, and others who had been summoned, were then instructed to begin the documentation of the incident on Etrakr as they remembered it. Some hours later, the source of her grief was eventually disclosed and shared with staff concerned. The student had been upset because nobody had texted her “for at least twenty minutes”. This was deemed by her to be a major cause for concern, leaving her with irretrievably damaged self-esteem.

Reflecting on this, I felt that there was nothing I could have done differently to improve the situation. I followed College protocol and notified those who were better placed to deal with a major trauma. At the start of the incident, I experienced a feeling of helplessness and powerlessness as I struggled to make sense of what was happening. The student refused to share, and this alone was alarming as thoughts ran through my mind as to what might have happened to her. Other staff present seemed to experience the same feelings of concern which prompted the initial contact with pastoral staff as a precautionary measure, in order to prepare for the worst case scenario. The situation was exacerbated by the student who would not disclose the source of her grievance. I concluded that while technology in class could be advantageous (Passey and Rogers 2003), the present generation of student relied too much on recording all aspects of their lives on their phones, and the importance of being connected may be perceived to outweigh the importance of learning (Magee 2016; Walker 2017).

I concluded that rather than concentrating on the need to disclose, it would be more helpful to point out that what had distressed her was not worth so much of her concern. A meeting occurred the following week and as an action plan I offered a lesson plan which I had created, which could be delivered as a one-off session for all

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students. It was concerned with dealing with social media and the uses of hand-held technology in classrooms, and how to avoid such incidents in the future. It emphasised to need to respect that classrooms were for learning to take place and for that reason handsets and tablets should be switched off upon entry to the classroom, unless an urgent message was expected whereby the phone could be left at the teacher’s work station set to ‘vibrate’. This arrangement could help to instil some understanding that social media has its place outside of classrooms, and could ensure that learning could take place.

The importance of awareness of the needs of students I was sent to replace an absent support tutor in a FS maths class. The twelve students were unknown to me and I was responsible for supporting eight of them. I later learned that two had dyslexia and one had dyspraxia. One had Autism and another had Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of Autism which can result in difficulties when meeting and interacting with new people. Three more were described as having moderate learning difficulties (MLD). I was given this session with little notice but was able to locate the classroom by asking for the teacher in her staff room. Upon arrival, and after apologising for being late, straight away I was asked to sit on a centre desk. I had a quickly scribbled a list of students’ names I had been given when asked to cover this absence and had to introduce myself to each, one by one, in order to locate those who were identified as needing support. However, only two were wearing their identification badges, a requirement of the College. It is College policy to wear a badge at all times and it is the expectation of every member of staff to check that this is done. The lesson was an hour and fifteen minutes long. My allocated session began late, around twenty minutes into that time, due to the short notice given. Two students were extremely needy. They did not sit together, which may have been helpful as both asked for me to read aloud and to scribe. Although I suspected their need was dyslexia support, both were without coloured overlays and the papers they were working with were black print on white paper. One student could not make any sense of a table that was offered and was expected to extract information and identify answers required. Two other students had little intention of taking part in the lesson. Another, who had an obsession with Cher, was reading and singing her song lyrics on his phone. A further student told me that he did not need to take part in this lesson as he was already well practiced with these types of questions online, and his father was on the way to the College to collect him shortly. Another with Moderate Learning Difficulties accepted my guidance and made agreeable comments when I asked if he understood how to tackle the questions. However, as soon as I left his side he could only stare at his phone. I felt he needed continuous assurance and reassurance in order to answer the questions with someone by his side constantly if any work was to be completed. A Polish student was keen to learn and requested my guidance frequently. After attempting questions herself and using an application on her phone to assist with translation, she fought for my attention and also my verification.

I felt somewhat frustrated after the lesson and I reported back to my office to complete the Etrakr computer program entries for the students’ records. Etrakr is intended to be a platform teachers and support staff can use to source and record information, incidents and points of interest regarding individual students. At this point, after the event, I was able to learn more about these students, their history,

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and how best to support them from previous Etrakr entries. The student who had told me his father would be arriving for him had told me an untruth. His father had been at his place of work as usual. I was right in assuming that two students presented with dyslexia. One had Asperger’s syndrome and one was from a traveller background. Worryingly, I also read that one student was a self-harmer, and that he had depressive tendencies. Support staff had been offered half an hour of training regarding self-harm some months before. This was delivered on a day I did not work, and therefore I had missed this session. I wondered whether this would have helped me at all in choosing a method of support, and improved my practice by making adaptations to my own behaviour towards her. I also wondered what I could have done if the student had harmed herself in class time or had arrived with recent wounds, or disclosed to me that she had made or was considering making, fresh wounds. This concerned me greatly.

I reflected that the original policy of inclusion in mainstream classes seemed to be a noble one. However, its architect, Warnock (1978), had not foreseen the spectrum of students that would enter mainstream education. Not had she considered the cost in terms of funds, and of the time involved in training staff to enable them to cope with such a variety of needs and considerations. There was little consideration in her report for dyslexia as a barrier to learning. Nor was there attention given to more recent and prevalent considerations, for example, mental health problems which can encompass SEBD, anxiety and depression issues (Hagel 2012), substance misuse (Brodie et al 2011; Crome et al 2009), self-harm incidents (NSPCC 2016), and the use of social media accessed by frequent phone use in and outside of lessons which can also lead to such issues (RSPH 2017; YHM 2017). Recognising and dealing with such considerations now fall to teaching and support staff. It could be concluded that there are organisations better placed to deal with those experiencing such concerns, and those affected by issues exacerbated by social media use. The current Health Minister agrees and has expressed impatience, stating that social media giants such as Facebook, for example, are in a position to identify those at risk of suffering mental illness, citing that they have the technology to help tackle Britain’s growing mental health problem (Donnelly 2018). This blatant lack of integrity impacts upon the position of college staff who are charged with identifying and dealing with these issues.

Dealing with students within a range of disciplines who have the expectation that I help them learn material that is often outside my subject area is incongruous, and becomes what can be perceived to be a serious professional challenge (Williamson 2015). Although my own ability concerning FS maths is reasonable, I could not immediately understand the questions within the practice paper, and this was embarrassing for me. I felt that the teacher was best placed to do this as ultimately it is teachers who are responsible for delivery and management of learning. However, her time was claimed by other students. It was clear to me that more than one member of the support team was needed in this class. The student from the traveller background would not engage in the lesson at all. The situation called on my ability to be creative, in order to offer the best opportunity to a group of extremely needy students. I felt challenged and alone in a near-impossible situation. It would seem ridiculous that support staff can be all things to all people. So many issues presented themselves and I felt I performed to the best of my ability, and although the college

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offers training for staff attending to a range of needs, many staff should be assigned to do this rather than just one, no matter how qualified. I concluded that I should attend the next training opportunity for understanding self-harm and mental health issues.

Teachers wish to teach I began to teach a group of twelve adults basic sign language for ten weeks, and produced a Scheme of Work and Lesson Plans for these sessions. However, when these were submitted for approval two days before the course began I was asked to amend the Plans to include times. I was required to account for my actions minute by minute. Although I conformed to this request my first lesson was delivered in reverse. I had intended to explain the course, its aims and objectives the expectations and the content, and to have students complete the necessary enrolment paperwork. I then intended to teach simple fingerspelling to make sure that students learned some communication and had something to practice before meeting again. However, the course coordinator asked to stay and be part of the lesson for a while. Teaching took place first, then paperwork completion, and I ended the session with a song in sign, which was an activity not mentioned on the Plan. When asked to explain my actions I did so, asserting that a minute by minute lesson plan was something that would certainly stifle teacher creativity, and that I would not be made to feel guilty for straying from the detail of the document I had submitted. Both my integrity and my creativity were challenged, and I felt totally disrespected.

I believed that group thoroughly enjoyed learning and did not want to leave at the close of the lesson. I had been creative, ensuring they were entertained while learning a new skill which they had expected to be delivered in a formal, silent and orderly manner. I had earned their respect while delivering my lesson, and I respected them for participating enthusiastically. This was indeed in accordance with my values and I had entertained these students by employing a creative style of delivery. However, I felt that College policies had contradicted my values regarding the documentation attached to the course. It would appear nonsensical that regulations, expectations and demands outlined by those who funded this learning would wish to suppress any opportunity to deliver creative and enjoyable lessons, and to follow a regimented format would result in students who would feel that the sessions would be regimented methodical, disciplined and therefore unenjoyable, while nevertheless meeting the needs of those who would audit and monitor the delivery of teaching and learning.

I arranged a meeting with the manager to discuss a way forward as I was determined that teachers should have flexibility in how they deliver lessons. Our discussion led to a compromise of sorts. She visited my class to observe and agreed that in all her years in education, this was the most fun and the most efficient way of learning she had ever witnessed. Because of this she stayed for the whole duration, and again I did stray from the Plan. I then invited her to register on the course in order that she could appreciate further the importance of creativity, and possibly respect teachers for this accordingly.

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Challenging my values of ‘integrity’ and ‘creativity’

Education worth living for Part way through the academic year, I was assigned a student which was added to my timetable as one-to one sessions. I was assigned a weekly session with her to look over her word processed assignments and keep her on task. She already had an assignment too late to submit, requiring ‘extenuating circumstances’ paperwork to be completed when we first met. During this meeting she spoke a great deal about her mental state and that this had been a factor in the lateness of the assignment. Her medication made her drowsy and some weeks she spoke to me about her depression and suicidal thoughts. At the end of his allocated session I made myself available via email. Because her subject was not my specialism and I did not fully understand the module specification I would often contact his tutors for advice and guidance. I also asked them to visit our sessions to offer clarification, which they did willingly. They appreciated that she was an extremely needy student who was at risk, not only of non-completion and non-achievement but also of ending her life. I made sure that teaching staff and support managers were aware of the situation as support must meet the requirements specified in the student’s disability assessment.

I spent additional time just talking to her and reassuring her regarding the standard of his work, before and after his allocated session time. I employed my skills of creativity to entertain her as he worked, discussing television, general politics, past work experiences, and many other topics. We laughed when we agreed, and debated when we did not. This gradually built up her confidence and I became a reliable listening ear. Throughout, I had to be mindful that this student did not access more of the recommended support allocated by her Disabled Students Allowance (DSA) assessment. This document outlined her specific needs, and although it mentioned her fragility it did not recommend that she had access to an understanding and supporting friend. I continued to keep my manager informed of the situation and how needy she actually was. I explained that as she trusted me to get her through this journey and ultimately achieve her qualification I felt obliged to provide her with a stable and reliable support arrangement which she could rely upon. I also felt that if she was to continue to study and to eventually succeed she needed help to keep focused, and not think she had little value. Surprisingly, my manager stated that whatever she did outside of the College setting was her own business, and that we could not be held responsible for her decisions. I found this to be a strange contradiction as so much time, effort and day-to-day recording is now spent concentrating on students’ health and wellbeing, often at the cost of real learning (Hayes 2004:3). Her advice was correct. Our obligation began and ended at the doors of College. However, policy dictated that staff should be mindful of any circumstances which should be reported or recorded, and teaching staff continued to offer additional help. I continued to create an environment where she could cry, succeed, debate, laugh and argue. I considered that a student’s success is important, for the student and for the college. So is life. My creativity helped her ‘hold

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things together’ and ultimately achieve, which was vital for her self-esteem and self-worth.

Challenging my value of ‘integrity’

Teachers must take responsibility for classroom managementI had been directed to support in GCSE English with a teacher with whom I have worked before. She had praised me to the Support management team after a successful previous two years working alongside her and I was happy to be working with her again. I was contracted to support in her classes over the week. She asked to meet me before week one of the first term. She had ideas to discuss with me regarding how to improve behaviour with a view to ensuring a better chance of success for the students, some of whom were returners from the previous year having failed to achieve the desired grade ‘C’ or above. She stated that this year she intended to be intolerant of phone use during the lesson, and that students must adhere to College rules, such as the displaying of identity badges, being on time for lessons, and not calling out to each other across the classroom. I was pleased with these intended changes as their implementation meant that I could gain attention from students. Enforcement of these rules would certainly improve the learning environment generally as eyes were more often directed downwards rather than towards the teacher or the smartboard. This would therefore make my job much easier to execute. ‘Phubbing’ is a major concern in classrooms. This is an expression derived from the amalgamation of two words, ‘phone’ and snub’, and is used to describe someone who uses their phone while ignoring people around who may be addressing them (Ugur 2015). The Autumn term seemed to start well and, true to her previously stated intentions, she asked for badges to be displayed as the students entered the classroom, most of which were either in bags or pockets, or even left at the students’ homes. In those instances they were directed to go to obtain a replacement. She also asked that phones were put in bags, and frequently reprimanded students who were guilty of phubbing. I was instructed by her to ensure that the rules were adhered to also. At week five, students had entered the class and were checked for their badges, as had become normal practice. However, my value of respect was once again challenged. On this occasion she warned students that it was I who would be ensuring that they would continue to wear them throughout the duration of the lesson, and that it was I who would not be pleased if they removed them subsequently, which they had a tendency to do. I reported this comment to the support team coordinator who agreed with me that a ‘good cop, bad cop’ arrangement was not good practice, and that while ultimately all staff around the entire College had a duty to challenge those who did not wear their identity badges, it was the teacher’s job to ensure that this happened in their classrooms. I spoke to the teacher after the next lesson and she indicated that she was surprised that I objected to her ‘good cop bad cop’ arrangement, and implied that wearing of identification in class had been as a result of my insistence.

This experience made me feel undervalued and extremely unhappy about working with her. I felt so disrespected. However, I am mindful of Ecclestone and Hayes’ (2009:90) belief that there is now little respect for education or for those responsible

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for its delivery. I am also mindful of the “profoundly anti-educational” climate of student-centred, where staff are now concerned with personal issues rather than subject delivery education (Ecclestone and Hayes 2009:xiii; Kinman 2008). Teachers, it is alleged, have lost their powers to teach and manage in their own classrooms. All staff must now strive to implement student-centred education and to look out for their students’ welfare in a way never done before. This position inevitably leads to a difficult classroom situation (DfES 2005). It may be that the teacher herself felt that her credibility was threatened. This arrangement with the teacher was not a situation I was comfortable with. I shared my concerns with my management again and was asked if I would consider removing myself from those sessions which would result in losing a large part of my contract. I felt that her own line manager would remind her of her own role of managing her class, and of my role. Unfortunately, this did not happen. However, I elected to continue working with her, hoping that I could negate the disrespect and opposition I felt. I also wondered whether a more creative teacher would have been able to hold students’ attention and distract them from thinking about their next text or snapchat message. As I ‘wear two hats’, that of teacher and that of support tutor, it would be easy for me to apply my own values, and suggest ways to improve attention and ultimately, learning. However, my role was one of support and my ability to be creative was inappropriate and unwelcome. I concluded that the teacher was afraid of enforcing discipline, and that it was easier to leave it to me so that she could retain her good relationship with her class.

Behavioural issues can present danger to othersOne Thursday morning I was supporting in a construction workshop environment with bricklaying students. This area was always a tinderbox of behavioural issues. In particular, drugs were being used by some students at break times. This was reported when their use was observed by teachers, support staff and refectory staff, and it was frustrating that the situation did not seem to be improving. In the workshop, some students were identified as having a range of difficulties which required support. My role was to support a Deaf student, providing communication in British Sign Language. The teacher spent a great deal of time shouting to and at the students, in part because the work space was a large high area, but mainly because students were ignoring him. Because of this workshop environment I could not always hear what was instructed, or what was happening in other areas of the space. One student was teasing another rather loudly. This escalated very quickly to threats. He began to throw bricks at the student and when asked to refrain from this behaviour he then threw a drill. Because it was already plugged in at that moment, its cable prevented it reaching its intended target. The teacher suspended the student immediately. The Deaf student in my charge was not fully aware of any danger at the time. He was busy preparing his workspace for his practical task. As I was alongside him, I was aware of the commotion but unable to relay any information to him regarding what was unfolding. The student had been using drugs that morning as a pick-me-up, following a full night using his Xbox. Staff were aware that this was a regular occurrence. However, due to the FE environment becoming more business-led following its incorporation in 1992 (Hayes and Wynyard 2002; Lucas and Crowther 2016), every student was a valuable commodity and needed to be kept on the register, no matter what. In this case, the

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presence of drug-fuelled students put other students and staff at risk in an environment where the observation of health and safety procedures is paramount. A full module concerning health and safety rules and regulations within building and construction environments was delivered as part of this course. There was nothing more that staff could do to ensure the safety of all in that environment, other than preventing those considered a risk from accessing the lesson or removing them once they had offended. On the following Monday the student was back in class, re-instated upon the insistence of the HOS.

The reinstatement of this student made me feel uneasy. I felt that I had to speak up about the added danger to my Deaf student who would not be aware of any future danger presented in this way. The Equality Act (2010) asks for steps to be taken to ensure that a building’s physical featured do not become barriers, and the Regulatory Reform (Fire Safety) Order (FSO 2005) asks that a risk assessment should take place. I reflected that such regulation, however, would not assist a Deaf student to escape an incident where danger arose so quickly and with little warning. Sign interpretation, by its very nature, is always relayed several seconds later than the actions to be described or the words spoken. This meant that because of this delay we were both in danger. Reflecting upon that morning, I could not have acted any differently. I was permitted to deliver a short Deaf awareness talk for the benefit of staff who had been present as I felt they needed to be aware of the added risk to students with sensory impairments. However, mandatory training being made available to all staff in relation to Deaf culture may have improved the situation or, more importantly, helped to influence decisions appertaining to risk and safety in an environment with particular health and safety considerations around those with sensory impairments. ConclusionTo conclude, these experiences outline just a few of the many I could offer to share where my own values were challenged, and yet I had to wear the corporate mask while, at the same time, attempting to be true to myself. Their content evinces conflict and contradictions to my closely held values and my considerations regarding how I could improve my practice to overcome the difficulties and challenges discussed. The journal entries show only snapshots of my continuing journey. What is evident through these experiences is that policies and practices, whether government led or College led, often prevented me, as an educational practitioner, negating students’ or colleagues’ actions which opposed my own deeply held values. It is my hope that I have evinced in these journal entries that I tried to reflect upon and critiqued my own practice in both my roles as a teacher and as a support tutor and, as a consequence of adopting a more reflective stance, developed further awareness and improved my own practice, and the learning opportunities of the students in my charge.

These occurrences will continue, and I will continue to identify questions which need answering through my own Living Educational Theory (Whitehead 2000). I must expect that living my own living values can, and will be thwarted by policies and practices outside practitioner control. Moreover, I will continue to search for different ways to negate contradictions within my practice. As Bruce Ferguson (2016:36) asserts, “We do the best we know how, and when we know better, we do better”. In my own development, I am conscious of attempting to overcome the experience of myself as a

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living contradiction. This growth inevitably involves change. However, this growth can only take place if education policy allows, and it is not always possible to bring about significant changes as these are often stymied by these policies, or by the behaviour of others (Sullivan et al 2016:113). I can only attempt to change and improve my own approach within these remits by continuous critical reflection of my practice in a climate where others hold differing values and do not necessarily share my desire for change.

Ultimately, it is my view, and that of the Education Reform Act (1988) and Whitehead (1993:94), that academic staff should have freedom, within current legislation, to question and test received wisdom, and to put forward new ideas and offer controversial, and sometimes unpopular opinions. Teachers should be free from the shackles that are in the form of educational policies, and their creativity should be enabled, rather than disabled by layer upon layer of reform. Their wings are clipped by those in managerial positions who may lack credibility by not spending time in classrooms (Berry et al 2010; Lortie 1975). Being devoid of freedom can lead to frustration. However, not many will speak out. In trying to apply my own values I find that they are often contradicted and even thwarted by a lack of freedom, and the consequent undermining of my integrity, creativity and a lack of respect, in classrooms as well as in society generally, only serves to make me more determined to improve my practice however I can.

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