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USC CENTER FOR WORK & FAMILY LIFE

Managing a Bullyin the Workplace

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Recognizing a Bully

Workplace bullying is about power and control in workplace relationships.

It is often motivated by: insecurity jealousy or fear

The intention of the perpetrator is the same… to: undermine discredit embarrass, and/or harm the target

Bullies control others through: sabotage insults undermining work performance public humiliation, and sarcasm

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Recognizing a Bully

A bully is a person who is habitually cruel to others she deems to be weaker than herself and uses browbeating language and behavior.

Although we often think of bullies as big people dominating smaller folks, they are truly little people in every way.

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Recognizing a Bully

Their fear of being wrong is demonstrated by being know-it-alls. They are often condescending, patronizing or dismissive.

Their fear of not being able to meet the needs of others causes them to never want to hear what others think, feel or want. 

Their inability and unwillingness to control their anger or their tongue causes them to make everything the fault of their coworkers, as it could not possibly be theirs.

Paradoxically, their self-esteem is too fragile to handle the possibility of being wrong.

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Recognizing a Bully

Their need to control their coworker demonstrates their fear of being unable to control themselves.

Their desire for power over others comes from the fear of being insignificant.

Their attempt to boost their own flailing self-esteem is fed by treating others disrespectfully, thoughtlessly and off-handedly.

Their fear of others causes them to assault character, focus on weaknesses and be the poster children for intimidation.

Unfortunately, these are all manifestations of a poor self-image coupled with lack of self-awareness and people skills.

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Recognizing a Bully—Top Ten Bullying Behaviors

1. Falsely accusing target of "errors" not actually made

2. Staring, glaring, nonverbally intimidating hostility

3. Publicly discounting target's thoughts or feelings

4. Giving target the "silent treatment” & separating from others

5. Publicly exhibiting uncontrollable mood swings

Source: Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI)

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Recognizing a Bully—Top Ten Bullying Behaviors

6. Creating own rules that even she/he did not follow

7. Disregarding satisfactory or exemplary work 8. Harshly & constantly criticizing target;

different standard9. Starting or perpetrating, destructive

rumors/gossip about target10.Encouraging people to turn against the

person

Source: Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI)

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If You Are The Manager of a Bully

Step up, show up and speak up. Paradoxically, bullies want to be stopped. The bully cannot stop his or her own behavior because

it is being driven by deep fear. Often, only a resounding wake-up call from

management has any hope of bringing about change. Be proactive and act as soon as you see that

bullying behaviors are frequent or habitual. If you have a bully on your team, be assertive.

If you need to shore up your conflict and anger management skills, do so.

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Managing A Bully

Begin with compassion. Beginning with an understanding of the inherent weakness the

bully is projecting and its likely causes will help you manage. Bullies need to be managed because they cannot

manage themselves No one wants to say no to them because of the consequences. That’s the operating system of the bully: don’t cross me or I

will make your life miserable. Bullies appear self-confident, strong and impervious

because they intimidate weaker people. If you vacillate, placate or submit to a bully or respond with

fear or rage, she feels her point is proven: you are inferior and deserve to be abused, taken down or written off.

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Tools for Managing the Bully

One major tool a bully uses is making threats. Management has more clout than bullies; therefore,

they have a bigger threat: dismissal. Managers may fear that firing a bully will likely cause

problems, even a lawsuit. It could happen, but that is something you have to be

willing to risk if all other interventions fail.  There are many other people in your team who are

suffering from the bully’s behavior. The sum of your team members count more than one

bully!

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Tools for Managing the Bully

Use the “progressive discipline” method to manage employee conduct

Consult with your HR Partner for policies and procedures for progressive discipline

Document, document, document “If it wasn’t written down, it didn’t happen” Keep a log of conversations you have had with the bully, and

reports or observations of the bully’s conduct Common steps in a progressive discipline model:

1) Coaching2) Verbal warning3) Initial written warning4) Final written warning5) Termination

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Tools for Managing the Bully

Use the Performance Review process to document the problems and required improvements Becomes a part of the employee’s personnel record As a part of the Performance Review development plan, offer

meaningful and specific resources to assist the bully’s success Sources of interpersonal training for the bully:

Center for Work & Family Life• Individualized treatment planning and interpersonal skill-building• Services are free and confidential

USC Professional Development• Handling Emotions Under Pressure

Career Track / Fred Pryor Seminars• How to Communicate with Tact and Professionalism• Developing Emotional Intelligence

See Resources Page below for contact info

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Tools for Managing the Bully

Seek the bully’s commitment to change “This problem is created by you alone, and only you can

solve the problem. Will you make a commitment to me that you will make the necessary improvements?”

Don’t let the bully distract you from securing their commitment, by blaming others, the university, or general circumstances.

Increase 1:1 supervision meetings with the bully Lends more support to the bully to change his/her conduct Keeps the bully on your radar Sends a message that you are earnest about seeing a

change Recognize and reward progress

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Resources at Your Disposal

USC Office of Equity & DiversityUSC Center for Work & Family LifeUSC Talent Management/TrojanLearn

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Resources at Your Disposal

USC Office of Equity & Diversity “The Office of Equity and Diversity investigates

complaints by faculty, staff and students who believe themselves to be harmed by sexual harassment, discrimination and harassment.

“Should a complaint of sexual harassment, discrimination or harassment be brought to your attention, it is extremely important that you contact the Office of Equity and Diversity immediately. In order to assure that all complaints are addressed quickly and appropriately, departments may not proceed in any way to investigate allegations of this sort on their own.”

http://www.usc.edu/dept/adminops/equity_diversity/

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Resources at Your Disposal

Center for Work & Family Life The professional staff of the Center for Work and

Family Life are experts in workplace relations and organizational behaviors. We are experienced in providing supervisor consultation and guidance for a wide range of matters pertaining to human relations

Management Consultation Assistance with preparing for difficult conversations Insight into bullying behavior

Free Training Free, on-site training on civility for your work team

http://www.usc.edu/programs/cwfl/

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JEFFREY HARRIS, MFT, CEAPHARRISJR@USC.EDU

213-821-0800WWW.USC.EDU/CWFL

Contacting theCenter for Work & Family

Life