Managing Culture Shock

Surviving & Thriving Despite Culture ShockCreated Especially For Individuals and Families Living Anywhere In The World Outside Of Their Home Country

Copyright 2015 by Bill DrakeAll Rights ReservedWelcome to this self guided seminar designed to help you and your family explore the experience known as culture shock. The main thing you need to know about culture shock is that it occurs every time of person moves to a new environment, whether that new environment is a new school, a new job, or a new culture. Even people who have lived in many different countries experience culture shock every time they move to new country; in spite of how they may appear, even the "old hands" go through culture shock. Culture shock is a well-known phenomenon, and is nothing mysterious. Couples and families who understand what each other is experiencing and who are able to discuss those experiences together find that culture shock is a little more than an adjustment period, and never becomes a personal or family crisis.Many research studies indicate that between five percent and 30 percent of all overseas assignments end with an early return - in other words, a failed assignment. Well over half of these failed assignment are attributed to spouse or family dissatisfaction, and not to problems at work. That is why it is critical for the employed spouse in an expatriate family to understand the importance of assuring that each family member receives as much attention and support as needed - treating it as part of the overseas job assignment. Finally, since each failed overseas assignment costs the sponsoring company between $250-$400,000, the first six months in any expatriate assignment but particularly those involving spouse and possibly children are critical from a financial perspective for the company as well as a career perspective for the employee.Page #The Reality Of Culture ShockEveryone experiences the symptomsA total immersion phenomenonReal physical & psychological impact

You may have heard about culture shock from people who have lived in other cultures. Culture shock occurs because your mind and body have to go through a period of psychological and physiological adjustment when you move from a familiar environment to an unfamiliar one. The cues received by all of your senses suddenly change. During the day you are bombarded with unfamiliar sights, sounds, smells, tastes, language, gestures, rules, requirements, interactions, demands, systems, and expectations. Even during your sleep in a new environment your brain continues to receive sounds that it does not recognize, your nose continues to detect unfamiliar odors, the food nourishing your body features unfamiliar chemistry, and your dreams likely contain new and unfamiliar features and characters. The cumulative effect of all of these stresses is called culture shock, a period of adjustment which lasts about six months for most people.Before getting into more detail on culture shock let's take a look at a model of you in your home culture, in the community where you have probably live for some time now, where you are comfortable-the place you call home.

Page #If The Rules Are BrokenThere are known consequencesThere are known ways to make it rightThese compensating behaviors work

In your home culture, everybody knows the rules. You know that if certain rules are broken there are going to be certain consequences. Furthermore you know how to deal with those consequences, how to " make things right again". Even more important, these strategies work!In your home culture, not only are the crimes and punishments well-known, but the rules for handling small and large social offenses are also known. If you offend someone, you will understand their reaction and its cause, and you will do what to do about it. Everyone in your home culture knows when an apology is expected and how to offer that apology so that it will be accepted. Anyone caught in a negative situation can have a high degree of certainty that the compensating behaviors that they choose will work. Such certainty gives you a sense of control in your home culture as you inevitably encounter a wide range of situations every day which contain the potential for misunderstanding or conflict. Whether you are driving to work, giving orders to a subordinate, calling a customer, having lunch, making a presentation, attending a planning meeting, or talking with your spouse, if you and everyone around you didn't basically agree on how to make things right when rules are broken, then society would descend into chaos.

Page #In A New Foreign CityThere are lots of rules you dont knowThose around you know all the rulesYou dont know what to expect of othersOthers expect unknown things of you

One of the first things that becomes clear shortly after your arrival in a new foreign assignment is that there are many new rules and you don't understand any of them. This realization that you don't know much of what is going on around you creates anxiety at deep levels which can lead to some rather predictable behavior in the newcomer. For example, since you don't know how to get people to do what you want them to do, the way you do in your home culture, you may very well resort to the over politeness of the typical tourist, thanking everybody profusely for minor courtesies and chatting brightly with anyone who speaks to you. This basic appeal of innocence, which translates roughly as "Please like me and help me or at least don't hurt me or make fun of me or take advantage of me!" is, of course, immediately recognized anywhere in the world for what it is-the surprising thing is that it works so well so much of the time.Sooner or later you have to learn the rules. Then the problem becomes that the people around you who know all the rules, especially the unspoken rules, are generally not capable of articulating them - hence their name. Sometimes you have to be pretty creative to extract basic critical information on why it is important that things be done a certain way at one time and not at another. Another problem which confronts the new expatriate almost immediately is that other people have expectations of you which you don't know about. These situations can and do crop up everywhere during your first six months in country, and psychologists agree that the major source of stress on most expatriate employees, spouses, and children , comes from knowing that there are multiple expectations affecting you at every turn without knowing what those expectations are or how to fulfill them.Page #You Have No Way Of KnowingIf others are going by their own rulesIf you are violating any rulesWhat the consequences may beHow to compensate if required

It is inevitable that you will break rules and make mistakes and much of the time you won't even know you're doing it. To complicate matters, you won't have any way of knowing whether other people are following their own rules or not. In your home environment, even in unfamiliar situations there are clues you can follow, but in a new country, working in a new organization and living in a new community where the people don't know you and where you don't know the rules that they all live by, mistakes are inevitable. If you are newcomers to the United States, realize that many people in your new environment in the U.S. recognize the challenges you are facing because many Americans move frequently during their life, and are familiar with the problems of being a newcomer. This means that most Americans will welcome any questions you may have on what is expected, how things are done, what is appropriate, where information is located, who is responsible, how assistance can be obtained, how the unspoken rules are interpreted, what the informal system is for accomplishing things, and similar necessary information which everyone in a culture understands but which is unavailable to those unfamiliar with the culture.The biggest problem is that many people have no real idea what the unspoken rules are even though they follow these rules every day - they just never think about them. This is, of course, true in every culture including your home culture.Page #THE BOTTOM LINEYou will not always know how to calculate or evaluate appropriate behaviorYou will not always have a clear basis for feeling confidenceTo summarize what we have discussed so far, it is very important for both employees and family members to realize the complexity and difficulty of the challenges that each one will face in adjusting to this new culture. The more than you are able to share and discuss the things that are creating stress during this period, the easier your adjustment will be. Even though you will be trying to do your best, whether at work or at home, you will not always know what to do, and you will spend a good deal of your time coping with feelings of lack of confidence. It is important not to judge yourself harshly during this period, and it is even more important not to judge those around you harshly as a way of coping with your own frustration. In both cases it is the quality of harshness which must be recognized and addressed if it occurs, because harsh judgment of self or others is an expression of out-of-control feelings of inadequacy and lack of confidence.Page #YOUR MAIN CHALLENGESYou will be afflicted by ailments without apparent originYou will behave toward others in ways you dont likeIt will be difficult to accept that this is natural, and a processThere are some very personal aspects to the culture shock experience which you should know about. Almost everyone experiences a succession of minor pains and ailments of unknown origin during their initial period in a new country. Almost everyone experiences lower than normal energy levels, and periods of mild mental confusion are also normal. All of these experiences are the result of the subconscious stress you are experiencing every moment of the day and night, and not something that is going wrong with you. Another experience which many people find distressing is that you may find yourself having unfamiliar, strong negative thoughts about other people in your host culture - you may find yourself using stereotypes and even expressing prejudiced thoughts and feelings at levels that may alarm you. It will be difficult to accept that all of this is a natural part of your adjustment process, but these experiences are common and, particularly when they are shared and discussed with spouse and family, and perhaps even with coworkers, they disappear within a short time.Page #Models & TheoriesThere are many different formal models for culture shockAll agree that culture shock is a processIt has a defined beginning, middle, and endThese stages are predictable and manageable

As we have said, culture shock is a phenomenon that has been studied by the psychologists of many nations. All researchers agree that culture shock is a process which has a clearly defined beginning, middle, and end. Another common research finding is that while your personality type definitely makes a difference, your personal or family strategy makes a much greater difference in your experience during the cultural adjustment period and afterwards throughout your in-country assignment. By strategy we mean the plan that you and your spouse or family develop together for dealing with the inevitable stress and confusion of the first six months overseas. It will also be important, if you are the expatriate employee, to enlist the understanding and active support of your host country colleagues and management, and not to depend exclusively upon the expatriate community within your host company or organization. Research shows that a certain amount of identification and bonding is natural with people from your home culture who form the expatriate community within your new organizational environment, but this research also shows that the most successful long term adjustment occurs when bonds of communication are developed with people in host organization, both managers and colleagues.

Page #Stage One - The HoneymoonA period which lasts from two to eight weeks0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Number of Months In CountryLet's begin a detailed look at culture shock with the first stage, called The Honeymoon. The first few weeks of an overseas assignment are very much like the honeymoon-or perhaps more like the first few weeks of falling in love. You know that kind of experience we mean- " He's really messy but he's so cute I don't mind picking up after him" or perhaps " She's so fascinating- I love to hear her talk about all her friends from school." Well, just like these thoughts, the honeymoon phase of an overseas assignment is sweet but short. Most researchers agree that the honeymoon lasts between two and four weeks. It's probably no coincidence that most vacations last approximately the same amount of time. During the optimistic honeymoon phase, everything has a tendency to seem in new and exotic. The people seem friendly, the environment seems accommodating, and most of your experiences are positive. During this phase it is possible to set yourself up with the positive energy and resources you will need to sustain you during the subsequent challenges of adjustment. In order to do this successfully, it is helpful to understand the nature of the honeymoon experience and some strategies that have worked for others.Page #Honeymoon CharacteristicsDifferences are fascinating not threateningExperiences are heightened and intensifiedYou are insulated by your culture & feel in control

During the first few weeks of a new overseas assignment you are insulated to a large degree by your home culture, which trails along with you like an invisible cloud and surrounds you for the first few weeks in the new culture, creating a kind of filter or lens through which you view your new environment. Even though you may be nervous, most of your experiences will seem positive because many, if not most of the people you will meet will be helpful and understanding, and because the " cultural cloud" you are carrying with you creates a measure of familiarity - the people you meet don't seem very different, business seems to be handled in familiar ways, and even though the language is different, things look basically the same as back home - but perhaps a bit more exotic and interesting.Because most people will be friendly and helpful, it will be natural for you to tend to interpret their feedback as an indication that most of your behavior is appropriate. This will give you a high level of confidence, and an eagerness to enter into relationships with your new colleagues. During this initial phase it is a good idea to move slowly with new relationships in both work and social environments, because one's confidence in one's judgment is often misplaced during the honeymoon.Page #Appropriate Strategies For The HoneymoonGet out and be a touristBegin a program of correspondencePlan a special holiday for six months aheadMake contacts now which will stay with you

The basic strategy during this phase is to take advantage of your positive feelings in everywhere possible. Here are some excellent ideas generated by people who have been through the experience themselves.During the first few weeks get out of and be a tourist as much as possible. Ride the tour buses, take guided tours of museums, and simply be a tourist. Do as many things as possible to become familiar with your new city or community, and don't forget to try some new experiences in this new environment. Begin written or email correspondence with key people at home as soon as you arrive at your new assignment. Do this with both business or professional colleagues as well as with friends and family, because once the glow of the honeymoon wears off and you are beginning to feel negative is not the time to first get in touch with the important people in your life back home.Use the honeymoon phase to plan a very nice holiday scheduled approximately six months into your assignment. Pay a large deposit now for this holiday, because when the time comes you may not want to take the holiday, but if you have a large deposit at stake there is a much greater chance that you'll go ahead and enjoy yourself in spite of the impact of six months of culture shock. Now is also time to find things you enjoy doing, organizations to join and groups to become involved with. Set yourself up now with commitments to people and organizations that will put positive pressure on you to stay involved and in contact with your host culture as you go through the tough part of the adjustment cycle.

Page #Stage Two - DisintegrationA period lasting from two to three months0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Number of Months In CountryAfter the first few weeks have passed you'll begin to notice that what has been so fascinating only recently is beginning to lose much of its appeal. People who you were comfortably and the confidently interact the way is a few weeks ago somehow same less open and friendly, and you may begin to feel a little less like having conversations with them. Beginning about a four weeks after you arrive in country you enter the second phase of culture shock called dis- integration. The almost euphoric mood of the honeymoon is replaced by a mood that includes doubt and loss of confidence. You begin to notice that you understand very little of what actually goes on around you, and the people around you who at first were so friendly and welcoming have gotten used to you, and appear to ignore you, while your needs for contact and communication have actually increased. As you walk down the street you no longer feel surrounded by a comfortable unfamiliar environment but by one full of potential problems, small and large. People around you have settled back into their routines, the ones they were following before you arrived, and most of those routines don't include you. This is, of course, quite natural but still it can feel like rejection.All of this begin to wear on your self-confidence and creates subtle as well as obvious psychological stress. Expect the disintegration phase of culture shock to last between one and two months, and to be characterized by an accelerating sense of discomfort.Page #Disintegrative CharacteristicsA gradual disillusionment & increasing discomfortYou may begin to play Aint it awful?You begin to lose self-esteem & confidence

A dominant emotional state during this phase is characterized by a gradual dissolution of about how wonderful everything and every body is. You become increasingly unable to screen out uncomfortable ideas and reactions, both your own and those of other people. You begin to doubt the adequacy of your understanding and you become aware of the strong the likelihood that you are making mistakes without knowing what they are.Normal emotional responses during this phase include confusion, disorientation, a sense of loss, apathy, and feelings of loneliness and inadequacy. Many expatriates began spending time exclusively with other expatriates and playing the "Ain't it awful!" game. Cultural differences begin to intrude even into your private personal space, and thoughts of your home culture begin to occur frequently. During this phase, home can take on what psychologists call a "golden glow". Just as during the honeymoon everything in your new culture seem to wonderful and glowing, now it is your memories of home that glow and feel warm. This is completely natural, and areas nothing wrong with being homesick. Attempting to hide or to deny these feelings, and failing to notice signs of such feelings in children can lead to problems, but homesickness itself is a normal part of adjustment. Both children and adults can benefit from discussing such feelings openly and making them OK. Page #Appropriate Strategies For DisintegrationTake care of yourselfFind ways to be with othersKeep up language studySet realistic productivity goals

There has been a great deal written by both researchers and expatriates about taking care of yourself during the first phases of adjustment. Here are several strategies which others have found useful.It is especially important during this phase to stay with your routines for taking care of your self. For different people this may involve regular exercise, eating special foods, listening to certain music, getting a massage or pedicure, or taking long walks. Whatever it takes for you to maintain this kind of activity should be given top priority. Go very light on drinking alcohol and over-indulging an appetite which may more emotional than physical hunger. Fast weight gain can occur especially easily with non-employed expatriate spouses, but if you are unhappy and/or under stress at work and are alone on an expatriate assignment you can easily find yourself over-eating and over-drinking at night in your hotel room or apartment.Page #Stage Three- ReintegrationGenerally occupies months 3-60 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Number of Months In CountryThe third stage of culture shock usually begins at about the end of the third month and usually lasts about three months. The horizontal black line on the chart represents an individual's normal psychological state, and as you can see, during this third phase of culture shock most of your everyday experience lies in the negative zone. Now this doesn't mean that every experience you have during this time will be negative, nor does it mean that you will feel bad all the time. In fact, the outcome of successfully meeting the challenges of this phase of culture shock is renewed and enhanced self-confidence. However, during this third phase negative feelings and experiences will be much more common than before, and to make things worse, during this period the tendency is to withdraw into yourself and communicate less rather than more with other people.

Page #Reintegrative CharacteristicsYou stop being a victim but may become hostileMany experience a basic rejection of host cultureLight at the end of the tunnel

Some behaviors which commonly occur during this phase seem negative but are actually positive. For example, toward the end of the period you may decide you are tired of feeling like a victim and may began to fight back against those who frustrate and confuse you. It isn't uncommon to engage in a heavy stereotyping during this phase, and it is normal to find yourself rejecting many of the things you now don't like about your host country. Unfortunately, the compensating behaviors of this phase can become permanent, and too many expatriates withdraw into the expat ghetto during the third phase of adjustment never to re-emerge. However, those who look closely at their relationships and their competencies will find real development taking place in both areas. Your relationships, although many may be strained, are now with real people rather than with superficial images, and despite continuing misunderstandings and false starts you really are getting rather good at figuring things out and getting things done.Depend upon your closest relationships to help you build or rebuild the network of relationships which opened up to you when you first arrive by which you probably have not yet cultivated.Page #Appropriate Strategies For ReintegrationRebuild your networkPlan creative refreshing breaksContinue language study - take on challengesStay out of the Expat GhettoStay in touch with people at home

Here are our some strategies which have worked in many different environments for people going through this stage of the expatriates experience.Remember that vacation we recommended that you plan way back during the honeymoon? Well, now is the time to take it. But don't just take one big break, try to get away and refresh your self at every opportunity because this is really the beginning of you or re-building period.Definitely continue your language study. The first few months may or may not have been easy for you, and you may or may not find it natural to learn new languages, but the simple act of continuing your language study generates a sense of commitment and accomplishment which can be very useful.You will find a lot of company for misery in the expatriates ghetto, people who don't like being where they are hanging out with other people who don't like being where they are. Watch out-this sort of attitude can be infectious. People who have adjusted successfully report that during the difficult times they were able to turn to both co-workers and family members for understanding and support, whereas people who lack such support networks are fair game for the "ain't it awful" crowd, usually found at the bar.Stay in touch with important people at home. This includes family and friends, but it also includes staying in touch with business and professional friends, mentors, sponsors, past managers and co-workers, subscribing to company newsletters, joining company intranet chat groups, and a finding other ways to maintain a presence in the minds of key people in your life outside all of your current environment.Page #Stage Four - Becoming FunctionalOccupies months 6-90 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Number of Months In CountryThe fourth phase of culture shock adjustment is a time of learning and feeling increasingly in control of your life and destiny. You now know enough to really begin learning from all of your mistakes, from all of the things people have tried to tell you and show you, from all of the clues which until now have been obscure. This phase normally begins about half of a year after you move to a new culture. It takes that long to go through all of the adjustment processes, many of them below the level of awareness, that are required to dissipate that "cloud of culture" from your home culture that accompanied you during the honeymoon phase and lingered throughout the next few months. Page #

Characteristics Of Functional StateYou begin working through issues consciouslyA strong, positive emotional state emergesThe Old Hand appearsYou discover that you will surviveDuring your " cultural recovery" you'll find yourself beginning to work through many of the things that have been bothering you for the first time in a direct and conscious style. You will be able to put your feelings into words more easily, because you will understand patterns and relationships in what you see and what you experience. While some of the mystery of your new environment will be gone, in the same way that the honeymoon must come to an end, just like in a relationship the fantasy is replaced by a more realistic appreciation and perhaps even love.You may be amused to find yourself giving advice to newcomers during this time- well, go ahead and enjoy yourself. Besides, you probably have some good advice to give. Nevertheless, if you have a sense of humor about yourself, and you probably do if you have a survived, then you will be amused to recall your own negativity just a short while ago in contrast to the advice you are giving an eager newcomer. A new attitude toward everyday life will emerge as you discover and grow to believe that you will survive.Page #Appropriate Strategies For FunctionalityExplore aspects of the culture ignored until nowAccelerate language learningConsider doing important shoppingConsciously begin creating your return environment

This is an excellent time to begin exploring more complex aspects of your host culture than have been accessible before now. Now that you are feeling more comfortable with your ability to understand and navigate successfully in this culture, you should increase your commitment to learning the language because now is the time when learning over the greatest future benefit will take place. This is because your language ability and your ability to observe and understand patterns and relationships in the environment will work together as you study language to reveal previously hidden complexities to your understanding.This is also the right time to do serious shopping, which should have been put off until now except for essentials. The reason is simple. The chances are that you will pay too much for too little quality for anything you buy easier during the honeymoon period or during stages two or three.Finally, if your assignment will last only one year, now is a good time to begin consciously preparing your self and your family for the process of returning and re-entering your home culture. It is important that people who you work with know that you are returning and are prepared to re-integrate you into normal professional activities within your organization. You can make this happen more easily by maintaining contact with key people throughout your overseas assignment.

Page #Stage Five - Creative IndependenceBegins around the 9 month point0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Number of Months In CountryBeginning approximately with the ninth month of your overseas assignment your experience of everyday life will return to something approximately like normal, but you will notice certain differences from the your pre-assignment frame of mind.Many expatriates employees, spouses, and family members report that after passing through the period of negative adjustment to the new culture that they now find increasing appreciation, understanding, and respect in their everyday business and social relationships as well as in their personal and family lives.Page #Characteristics Of Creative IndependenceSuccess becomes the normEmotional state is permanently heightenedYou are able to create meaning

In contrast to the last few months, during this phase success becomes the norm for everyday communication and interaction. Whether or not you understand every word of what is being said you can generally understand meaning and context, and more importantly you know how to ask for clarification and get it. Your emotional state becomes naturally positive as your ability to cope increases in ways that are obvious to those around you. You have stopped the use of stereotypes and attribution to cultural differences to explain things you don't understand, and have substituted positive behavior like asking appropriate questions and listening non-judgmentally to the responses. You have done this often enough that by now you are able to create meaning in most normal situations and have even gotten pretty good at figuring out novel situations.Page #Strategies For Creative IndependenceThink about how things will endComplete all important unfinished businessIf repatriating soon, make key decisionsIf staying on, re-examine old habits

How things end is how they are remembered. If your assignment is drawing to an end, now is the time to begin thinking about how you'll say goodbye, how you will maintain any important relationships you have developed, and how you will manage the process of re-integrating with your home culture. These days most of us work right up to the moment of departure from an assignment, and sometimes those who we have worked with don't even know we are gone, it happens so quickly. A piece of advice from experienced expatriates is to take the time to say goodbye in a proper way, and to make the effort to keep in touch. The reason experienced people offer this advice is because they have observed that relationships built during an international assignment frequently offer you career advantages later on which are difficult to anticipate and value now. The advice is- just do it.Finally if this is not the end of your assignment, and you will be staying on for another year or two, this is an excellent time to re-examine habits and patterns you have built up over the last nine months. Getting a "fresh start" at this point in your assignment will help you maintain the high-level of energy you are now feeling.Page #REALITIESEveryone experiences culture shock somewhat differentlyIt is a known process with known symptomsIt is an unavoidable rite of passageYou will survive- with a little help from your friends

Let's review the key points concerning culture shock. First it happens to everybody, whether they have made tend international moves or whether this is their first. Second, culture shock is a known a process with a recognized set of symptoms. Knowing the stages of the process and knowing the what symptoms you will experience, plus conscientiously developing and applying counter-strategies, goes to a long way toward reducing the stress that inevitably accompanies cultural adjustment. Third, though culture shock experience is like a rite of passage - those who have been through it once are never the same, in positive ways, for the rest of their life. Finally, regardless of how you may feel during the bad times, you will survive - way to the a little help from your friends, family, and co-workers.Page #