Mohd Ijaz Khan

19th February, 1926-

10th January, 2011

They have been the most constant figures in all of our lives

They made us all feel special and most loved

He was always surrounded by people who loved him

He always reached out and connected with every member of his family separately…

...and taught us the importance of family and relationships

He simply adored his children…

We wanted to show and express what Nana/Dada meant to us…

What follows is our testimonial to what a great grandfather he really was…

Nida

As far back as I can remember, nana used to be a figure of discipline for all us kids. He used to scold us when we would run around or make noise, he wouldn’t let us poke around in his room in all his drawers and he used to hideall the chocolates from us and have it all by himself!! I remember nani would always jump in the middle to defend any of us if we had been mischievous and would always turn it around and put it on nana… “ijaz aap bhi bus… ufho…”

Growing up we would always tiptoe around nana and go running to nani if we wanted something and she would hide it from him and help us instead!I remember staying over many nights at Alhamra.. nani and I would want to watch movies late at night after nana had gone to sleep, so we would sneak the tv and VCR into the corner room every night, come morning.. we would hear nana exclaiming, “bhai yeh tv kahan gaya?!?!”

Contd…

But I also remember, being the eldest, nana would never scold me. He would always scold the little ones, but he would always turn to me and say, “Nida you are the eldest, you are the responsible one, you should make sure no one does anything wrong”, and even though I was probably in on it, I would stand there straight-faced and nod my head.

As he got older, I saw nana change. I saw him become more mellow and softer and I saw him laugh and joke with us kids. He started thinking of us as adults.

I observed the relationship between my mother and nana and how she started to take care of him almost like a child. I was fortunate enough to observe the bond between them and it has taught me a lot about life and what parents really mean to us. He had blind faith in her and trusted her opinion more than anyone else’s.. and I hope I can be that person for my parents someday.

Nana would often take me aside and want to talk to me about how he was concerned about me, my life and my marriage plans! He would always be worrying about me and often said to me that I should get married while he was still alive so he could be there at my wedding. At that time I laughed it off, thinking of course nana is going to be there to see me get married…

Going to nana nani’s house in the evening was a staple of our day.. Walking in and seeing them sitting on the couch watching Star Plus soap operas was what I expected every time. For him to stand up and exclaim, “aah stranger! Kahan ho?!” I cannot begin to imagine that he wont be there when I walk in that room next..

From what my mother has told me about her childhood and their house, nana provided a sanctuary for so many people in his house. His doors were always open. So many people spent the best days of their lives in that house, there are so many memories attached to that house and nana’s presence, providing comfort and support to whoever needed it. He really did touch the lives and hearts of so many people and made it better for them. I am proud to have been his eldest grandchild and I am so grateful that I got to spend time with him and appreciate him. Nana you will always be with us…

..contd

Reeta

I can't forget how nana hugged me and cried when I was going to lahore after my shadi. I remember as usual he was all ready and standing by the door while I got my bags and everything in order. I never realized he was standing there so he could say good bye to me properly. I can expect nani to be crying at times like these but for nana to cry at my ruksathi it made me see this side of him I never knew. I never knew he felt that way about us, I mean I knew he loved us but didn’t know that much. I'm happy Nana saw at least one of his grandchildren get married and I’m proud of the fact that it was me. :)

SabaWhenever I think about you nana I tend to think back to the childhood memories I have with you. It is too painful to revisit the 72 hours that we all spent praying for your recovery. I had not seen you since the past 1 year, I wish I had come back to visit you, I wish I had been there for when you threw that amazing birthday party for ami, I wish I got the chance to see you one last time...I know I cannot dwell in a pool of regrets and so every time I look back now, it is to celebrate your life. I am glad that my last memory is of you healthy and smiling.

Here is my visit down memory lane with you Nana...

I still remember those early mornings in Al-Hamra where I would look forward to eating my all time favorite food- chai toast. I would have chai running down my chin pretty much all the time and you would yell out “mehro is ko rumaal la kar do.” Nani would come wipe my chin and tuck the rumaal into the neck of my shirt.

...contd

I will always remember the late night movie sessions where nani would help us with mission “sneak Tv into konay wala kamra without disturbing nana.” We always woke you up, and the next morning you would spend grunting and fixing the wires that we messed up the night before.

Your occasional “hmm” sounds, your annoyance with people eating chewing gum or walking too fast in front of you, your special haircut that you could only get from your favorite barber in Saddar, your sensitivity towards causing inconvenience to anyone, you speaking in English when you mean business, are traits that are truly unique to you. These are the things I feared you for, admired you for, and loved you dearly for.

I will never forget the times that I called you or visited you just to check on you when Ami had not been around, and how much you expressed your appreciation. Your “thank you very much for calling” still rings in my ears and overwhelms me. You always treated me like an adult and made me feel so important.

Most of us will always remember you Nana for your signature ear piercing sneezes (which I seemed to have inherited!), your hilarious farting habits (which you really enjoyed blaming on me! “mm-hmm Saba kya karti ho”) your infamous 'moora', your 'makkhi-maar', your endless collection of tennis balls in the Al-Hamra house (which we could only take with your permission), and your generous collection of chocolates which we thoroughly enjoyed watching you indulge in and getting yelled at by nani “ijaz aap ko kya ho gaya hai, pait mai dard ho jaye ga.” 

..contd

These are the best memories of my childhood; the endless summers we spent in Al Hamra- our home. They are so fresh in my mind and I still associate my memories of you Nana with those happy and joyous times.

One of my most meaningful bonding experiences with you was the summer of 2009 when I sat you down to ask you about the financial running of Uroosiat for my school project. We sat down on the dining table, you got rid of all potential distractions, and brought out your painfully organized stack of Uroosiat account files.

..contd

You first asked me what I needed the information for. You were very skeptical and hesitant to divulge actual numbers to me until I repeatedly assured you that the information I needed was purely for my knowledge and I would not publish it anywhere! You then gave me a notepad and pen and dictated the entire history of Uroosiat from concept to present, highlighting each period, comma, and exclamation point! I will always remember those 2 hours of your impeccable British English dictation to me. What I loved the most was that I could tell how much you enjoyed sharing your 'top secret accounting information' with me, once I had gained your trust of course.

Nana you have played an influential role in my upbringing and I pray to Allah to grant you the highest caliber in Jannat. Rest in peace.  I love you always. Saba  

Hira"I'm glad I moved to Karachi in 2002". This is one sentence I never imagined I would use.   Nana was a very active part of the 2 years that I was in Karachi. He would very regularly visit my room to see whether it's kept clean or not. He would get upset if the paints would be lying around, God only knows how he expected me to work without the paints being visible to him. I couldn't stay up till late hours, even on a Sundays I had to be up early. There were days it felt like I was living in a military camp! He didn't like the fact that I got a separate T.V for my room because he would want me to sit in the T.V lounge with him and watch -the news. 

I was practically his paid driver - please note that I did not have a drivers license at the time. Now that's what I call an achievement! Initially he refused to trust me but after constant insistence from everybody, he took me for a test drive and said I would have to stop right away if I wasn't up to the mark. He also threatened that he would get off the car and walk back home. I drove with all my senses on high alert, even the ones which were probably not required at the time. I passed!! This was no less than a Grammy for me.

…contd

We all know how much he enjoyed going to the doctors every second day, and we also know that if, for example, the appointment was at 5p.m not only did I have to start getting ready by 2p.m but we also had to be at the doctor way in advance - probably even before the  doctors assistant was there! I would regularly drive him to say his 'Juma' prayer, he visited his relatives every Sunday - this is why the entire family knows me so well!  

I'm glad we moved! I'm glad I passed the driving test. I'm glad I could spend 2 years of my life with him. May be if I didn't, I probably wouldn't have felt all what I feel towards him today. 

In 2004 we moved back from Karachi to Lahore, while saying our good byes he gave me a long big hug and cried out so loud. It was heart aching to see him like that. He kept on hugging me and thanking me for every thing I did for him and in the end his exact words were "I love u beta, I really love you and I will really really miss u". As I write this paragraph, tears are rolling down my cheeks. 

I think he always made an extra effort to make me feel part of the family. Not even once did I feel that he treated me differently from the rest of his grandchildren. In fact, I might be completely wrong, but he always made me feel like I was his favorite grandchild!

…contd

The biggest regret of my life is that, I wish I could have gone to Karachi and spent time with him as planned, but I was the only fortunate grandchild to be around him in the last breaths of his life.  I love you Nana!

Sana

Dear Nana,

I miss you. It is hard to believe that you are not around anymore. You were a constant figure in my life that I have seen, grown up with, and learned from all my life. You insisted on speaking in English with me every time I returned from Cali even though I spoke to you in Urdu– so this letter is for you in English with lots of love.

One of my most cherished memories with you were the 7 O clock mornings at the Alhambra house. The countless nights I have spent in the "konay wala karma," my favorite part was waking up to the sound of you clearing your throat- a mighty roar that echoed the rooms of the Alhambra house. I would stick my head out from behind the door of the “beeech ka kamra” and check to see when you would flip the page of the newspaper, while I conducted operation "sneaking past you without being detected" plan - I was a little scared of you, not gonna lie.

…contd

Of course you'd sense me lingering so you would look up and let out a big " Mmmm" I would giggle and come out surrendering myself. While putting down your news paper, getting ready to give me your full attention, you would ask me, "Nashta kero gee?" in your firm yet concerned-beyond-belief tone of voice. "Nai Nana, bus chai toast." To this you would rebuttal, "Acha tau uskay saath pappay khao gee?" while reaching over to the golden trolley, grabbing one of the round pappay. Before I could decline, you would have already broken it in half and offered it to me. The way you broke it was always hysterical. You held it with four fingers on the up side and with your thumbs on the round side. While full on applying force with your thumbs, you did break the “pappa” but also imprinted two big ol thumbs on my food! Together we welcomed the day while we drank chai and ate pappay at 7 o clock in the crisp early morning, in silence while enjoying each other’s presence.

…contd

Those mornings are only a small portion of the many cherished memories I have of you. Now, I would like to apologize to you. When I spent 5 months with you- convinced that I am probably the luckiest granddaughter to have the chance to do that- I cant help but to think that I caused you more stress than joy. My late nights with friends, the burnt cakes that you so proudly ate, for drinking most of your 7 up sodas, and for those fights you got in with Nani over me. I am sorry. I hope that wasn’t too stressful!

I love you, I miss you and I pray that wherever you are, peace is upon you.  Love always,Sanah

Taimur

It may not be possible to fully understand death. Thecertificate will provide the facts, the details associated withan individual’s passing. Questions of what, where, andwhen are easily understood, surface questions that don’t require much explanation. It’s the question of ‘why’ that people struggle with. ‘Why’ will keep them up at night, wondering why it happened, why it was not someone else and why they could not do anything to stop it. ‘Why’ is debilitating.

I cannot speak for the masses, but the answers to ‘why’ were determined in the weeks after my grandfather’s passing. I looked back at the chaos that was the 72 hours after the phone call came to my aunt’s house and found my answers.

…contd

My grandfather was unconscious in the hospital. No sooner had details of Dada’s condition been explained when my aunt booked her ticket across the world to be with her ailing father. My uncle and aunt in Southern California booked their ticket for the next day and needed someone to take care of their three children. 3 of my cousins dropped their plans and booked next-day flights from San Jose to San Diego to shoulder the responsibility. Text messaging threads were established from Karachi to San Jose to Irvine to St. Louis to keep each and every family member, regardless of location, updated with the latest information. And when it finally happened, and my grandfather lay in peace, entire communities showered us with their blessings.

“Why” was no longer a concern. “Why” became obvious. At the ripe age of 85, my grandfather did in death what many families strive to achieve over multiple generations: he brought our family together. Through the chaos we found initiative, through the sobs we found strength, and through his death we found unity. My grandfather passed away in a hospital bed surrounded by all 5 of his children. What he did not see, but surely felt, was that thousands of miles away, each of his grandchildren sat with him as well.

Aamir

Ode to Nana My favorite memory or memories that I have with Nana is when I used to live in Karachi on the 2nd floor before we moved to America, mainly because of his involvement in my school routines. This being that whenever I would realize I didn’t have a pencil or an eraser, I would ask him and he would grunt and lecture me about having stuff done the night before. Then he would take me to his drawer, which at the time for me was the coolest because he had all these things in that fascinated me. I remember when he would wake up in the morning and take me to school and drop me off at the gate every day. He would then also be at the gate when school let out waiting for me in his gray pants and buttoned shirt with his hands on his hips and a huge smile on his face waiting to ask me how my day was. If I had known at the time how fondly I would look back on these memories I would have cherished them a lot more when I was young.

I am so very grateful that I got to spend the August with him this past summer. I asked a lot of questions about his parents and his life so far and really got to know him well. What I will most remember is the immense feeling of his presence in a room. This feeling would always have me relaxed, comfortable, and safe. I’m glad he is in a better place now, may he rest in peace.

I love you Nana.

…contd

Salar

My grandfather and I lived next door to each other for four years. By "next door" I refer to the wall in the middle of the house that sectioned off our respective living quarters. I saw him most mornings--he shuffled over and sat at the table with a serene look in his eyes as he surveyed the morning bustle.  

Every morning, Abba sat at the head of the table and read the morning paper.  Every morning, Ammi made chai for herself and waited for me to finally come downstairs and eat my now-cold breakfast.  Every morning, Dada rebuked me for thundering down the stairs so recklessly. I could get seriously hurt some day.  Every morning, I apologized, then greeted and kissed all of them. I shoveled my breakfast down my throat and raced out the door, late for school, yelling "khudahafiz" over my shoulder to nobody in particular.  

…contd

Maybe I should wish our relationship was deeper. Maybe I should have talked to him about more than just what was going on that day. Or how I shouldn't marry a white girl because they will be the ruin of me. But I don't. Those conversations were hilarious. And though my grandfather and I operated on two completely different wavelengths, we managed to sync up every so often and really connect with each other. Then again, that connection usually revolved around him asking why this girl kept calling the house line asking for me, and whether she was my girlfriend or not.

I miss you Dada, thanks for everything.Salar

Alina

We're sitting on his couch. He appears to be dozing off, but suddenly he farts. Other than a slow grin as if to blame, in my direction, he remains unperturbed. Classic Nana for the 17 years of my life I have spent with him.

Tara

Dada,I cannot even begin to describe how much you meant to

me, or how much I miss you. I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that you are forever gone from our lives because it was just this summer that I saw you. You were always there; for everyone, whenever they needed you. I cannot picture you leaving us all behind; I cannot picture you anywhere but in Ayub Taya’s home, filling up the huge house with your presence alone.

Going back to Pakistan without you there seems pointless now. It’s impossible not to imagine you sitting up as straight as possible on your particular sofa; watching TV or reading the paper. Even now I can practically hear your giant coughs echoing throughout the entire house as well as see the silly, mischievous but cute, grin that appeared on your face whenever you let out gas.

…contd

I remember the last time I visited I would always secretly giggle each time you sent me in your room to fetch something. Going through your perfectly organized drawers, looking in your neatly arranged closet, and staring at your orderly shelves would amuse me. I was always extremely careful not to move anything I didn’t need by even the slightest inch because I was always afraid you would somehow notice.

I also loved how prim and proper you dressed when going out and how perfectly combed your hair was at all times. You would be wearing a simple shalwar kameez most of the time, but even that would be pressed and ironed. I don’t think there was anything sloppy about you…ever. Your habits were always so amazing and admirable, and that is what really stuck out to me and defined you in my eyes that summer. You always looked so intimidating but somehow sincere and kind at the same time.

When I think of times you were kind to me, I always think of how every single day, sometimes twice a day, you would ask if I wanted ice-cream. Sometimes if I really wasn’t feeling good I would refuse, but most of the time, just for you, I would say okay and sit down and eat it with you because you looked so eager and expectant and hopeful when you asked.

…contd

Just sitting down and eating ice-cream by your side is one of my most cherished moments with you. Even though it’s not much, it’s something I will always remember. It was a moment each day where we could sit in comfortable silence and bond.

Another memory I will always have with me, is even more cherished than the first. I remember that once every other week or so, you would call me into your room. When I came in you would tell me to sit down on the bed next to you, and then you would put your arm around me and talk to me. You would ask me how things were, how I was enjoying my stay, if I was having fun, or where I was going. I would answer all your questions as best as I could, but I couldn’t say a lot because my Urdu was so broken up and I didn’t want to embarrass myself by even attempting it much. Still, you would pay attention to what little words I had to say, and then you would lie down and have me lie down with you. I would stay like that for a while with you, and leave only when I had to and when you were asleep.

…contd

Sitting on your bed talking, and then laying down with you as you fell asleep made me feel extremely special. There was always so much love and kindness in your questions; I could tell that you were truly interested and concerned. It was another one of our very few bonding moments together. And now that you have left, I feel so bad about not talking to you and getting to know you. I wish I had communicated with you more than I did before you left us.

Dada, I am so sorry that we were never really all that close. My brothers and I were the only ones that were not close to you out of all your grandchildren. I am jealous of my cousins and all the time they got to spend with you, I wish I had the chance.

I know that I should have tried to talk to you more and gotten over my fear of speaking terrible Urdu. I am so sorry that I didn’t get over this in time but I hope even then you knew how much I loved you. I hope that wherever you are, you are happy. You were an amazing inspiration in this life and deserve the very best. Thank you for all the precious moments you have given me. Wherever you are, know that I love you.  Tara

Yasin

Dada was a great and generous man. He loved everybody anddid whatever he could do to help us in need. For example, my mother’s dad passed away when she was a baby and solife would have been difficult for her if she was just raised by her mom. But dada came for them in there need and provided hospitality, food, education, everything you need when growing up. He was like a father to her and always cared for her no matter what. Dada had a big heart to all of us and he would do anything for us, we must do the same for him in his after-life. Even though dada has passed away he is still always with us and watching, still providing us his love. He lived a long life and during his life we have always loved him and will always be in our memories and will never be forgotten. I just hope everybody’s doing alright; we want dada to know that we loved and appreciated for everything he’s done.

When I was with dada in Pakistan he would always ask me how am I doing, are you having a good time, or when is the next time you’re coming back. That shows you that he takes interest in me and he wants me to come back because he cares about me. Dada knew that the end of his life would come and I'm sure he’s in a better place.

Humza

Dada,You were my grandpa and I pledge to God about you. How kind you were, and how kind you were, and how much you helped people. I always loved you and I will never ever forget you. You took care of us, how kind of you. I give into your heart. You are part of our memories. No matter how gone you are you’ll always be part of my life.

This is Humza praying to God for Dada

Before

And Now…

He brought us all together…