Translation of essays

• 一、 Brevity ，简约，与原文字数大致相当• 二、 Parataxis—hypotaxis 意合 --- 形合，注重将汉语里的隐性结构变为英语中的显性结构。句子之间取得连贯。• 三、 literal approach. 不能过于直译，找出真正的含义。

• 老黄老了，人称“黄老”。老啦，没办法，吃过晚饭，看了点电视新闻，有些模糊了，打算洗个脸，泡泡脚，上床寻梦去。• Mr.Huang was old. People addressed hi

m as “Respected Mr.Huang”. Being old, he easily got tired and could not help it. After supper, having watched some news on the TV, he began to feel sleepy, so he went about washing his face and feet before going to bed.

• 1. 到南京时，有朋友约去游逛，勾留了一日；第二日上午便须渡江到浦口，下午上车北去。 ----朱自清《背影》 • I spent the first day in Nanjing strolling about

with some friends at their invitation, and was ferrying across the Yangtze River to Pukou the next morning and thence taking a train for Beijing on the afternoon of the same day. （ 42 ）

• A friend kept me in Nanjing for a day to see sights, and the next morning I was to cross the Yangtze to Pukou to take the afternoon train to the north. （ 32 ）

• 2. 我们过了江，进了车站。我买票，他忙着照看行李。• We entered the railway station after cro

ssing the River. While I was at the booking office buying a ticket, father saw to my luggage.

• We crossed the Yangtze and arrived at the station, where I bought a ticket while he saw to my luggage.

•

• 3. 我北来后，他写了一信给我，信中说道，“我身体平安，惟膀子疼痛利害，举箸提笔，诸多不便，大约大去之期不远矣。”• After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a letter,

in which he said, “ I’m all right except for a severe pain in my arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing brushes. Perhaps it won’t be long now before I depart this life.”

• After I came north he wrote to me: “My health is all right, only my arm aches so badly I find it hard to hold the pen. Probably the end is not far away.”

• 所谓 connective ，似可根据其作用，分为两类：一种是结构性的（ structural connective ），另一种是非结构性的（ non-structural connective ）。结构性的 connective 既折射句子内部逻辑关系，又是句子的框架性构件，“支撑”起英语句子，可谓“一箭双雕”。而非结构性的 connective 不是句子的逻辑标记，仅是行文的纽带，承接上下文，如：After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a letter, in which he said…After I came north he wrote to me…

上译中的 in which 即非结构性 connective ，不反映逻辑关系，承上启下而已。使用了这样的 connective ，未必能简化表达，与 he wrote me a letter 相比， in which he said 就显得罗嗦，徒增了行文的字数。

• 结构性的 connective ，化隐含的逻辑关系为明示的逻辑关系，假如依靠别的文字来描述或传达同样的逻辑关系，自然会多费笔墨。如：Only my arm aches so badly I find it hard to hold the pen.

• so ，即属于结构性的 connective 。 So 虽不起眼，作用却大。 So 不仅使“惟膀子疼痛利害，举箸提笔，诸多不便”一句中隐含的因果关系“浮出水面”，令读者易懂，而且使句子结构豁然。

• 4. 我读到此处，在晶莹的泪光中，又看见那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布马褂的背影。唉！我不知何时再能与他相见！• Through the glistening tears which these w

ords had brought to my eyes I again saw the back of father’s corpulent form in the dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown and the black cloth mandarin jacket. Oh, how I long to see him again!

• “ 看见那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布马褂的背影”应该如何理解？其中隐藏着怎样的逻辑关系？这是一个需要结合上文细加推敲的问题。其“逻辑”背景是：当父亲离我而去的时候，我看见那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布马褂的背影。这个“逻辑”背景是全文之“眼”。汉语是成熟的语言，“当父亲离我而去的时候”不必言明，此意已经很自然地溶入字里行间，读者足以意会。但是，在英译时，译者就必须遵从英语表达习惯，应该化隐为显，变无为有。遗憾的是，张译显然没有注意到这一点，而是作了直译： I again saw the back of father… 句中的动宾搭配（ saw/back ），基本沿袭了汉语原句的动宾结构（看见 / 背影）。

• When I read this, through a mist of tears I saw his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket once more as his burly figure walked away from me. Shall we ever meet again?

• 此译抛弃了原句的动宾结构，而是另立新的动宾搭配： saw / his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket 。这样就腾出了使用 connective 的空间，译笔多有创意！果然，紧接着出现了一个 as （注：这是典型的结构性 connective ），非常清晰和有层次感地传递了“背影”出现的时间。 as his burly figure walked away from me 在原句里寻找不到相对应的字眼，却能在上文里寻找到此译的背景。由 as引导的从句，贯通了上下文，并成功点题，把父亲的“背影”给译活了，这比单纯地写 I again saw the back of father…更让人喝彩。如果说，译文 I again saw the back of father… 是死板的、平面的、孤立的，而译文 I saw his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket once more as his burly figure walked away from me则是鲜活的、立体的、贯通上文的。

• 5. 我看见他戴着黑布小帽，穿着黑布大马褂，深青布棉袍，蹒跚地走到铁道边，慢慢探身下去，尚不大难。可是他穿过铁道，要爬上那边月台，就不容易了。•

• I watched him hobble towards the railway track in his black skullcap, black cloth mandarin jacket and dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown. He had little trouble climbing down the railway track, but it was a lot more difficult for him to climb up that platform after crossing the railway track. （ 51 词）

• So I watched him in his black cloth cap and jacket and dark blue cotton-padded gown, as he waddled to the tracks and climbed slowly down ---- not so difficult after all. But when he had crossed the lines he had trouble clambering up the other side. （ 47 词）

• 由于使用了 as ，父亲的两个动作（ waddled to the tracks / climbed slowly down ）就比较紧密地联系起来。结构性的 connective 的运用能够使译文更趋畅洁，语势如瀑，奔泻酣畅。

• 6. 过铁道时，他先将橘子散放在地上，自己慢慢爬下，再抱起橘子走。• 张译：

In crossing the railway track, he first put the tangerines on the ground, climbed down slowly and then picked them up again.

• He put these on the platform before climbing slowly down to cross the lines, which he did after picking the fruit up.

• 短短一句，译者连续使用了几个 connectives （ before/which/after等），颇有点让读者眼花缭乱。尤其是句末的 which he did after picking the fruit up ，令读者如入迷宫，一下子难以醒悟：这个 which 到底指代上文何词？经过琢磨，方能领悟，这个 which是指 climbing slowly down to cross the lines 。因多用了 connectives 而使译文由简单变得复杂，由流畅变得曲折，

• 7. 近几年来，父亲和我都是东奔西走，家中光景是一日不如一日。• 张译：

In recent years, both father and I have been living an unsettled life, and the circumstances of our family going from bad to worse.

• 杨译：The last few years father and I have been moving from place to place, while things have been going from bad to worse at home.

•

• 英语中形形色色的 connectives 其“分量”有轻有重，有庄重的，也有轻描淡写的。比如： and和 while 虽然都可以用作“对比”的逻辑标记，但是， and 显得轻巧随意，而 while则是较为严肃郑重些。

• 张译译文中的 and 就欠妥，且不说 and前后并不存在鲜明的对照关系，再者， and后面已经不是一个句子，而是一个独立结构（ the circumstances of our family going from bad to worse ），这样，原句所含的对比关系便难以得以鲜明的表露。与其说 and 起对比作用，不如说 and 起了连接作用。

• 8. 这时我看见他的背影，我的泪很快地流下来了。我赶紧拭干了泪，怕他看见，也怕别人看见。• While I was watching him from behind, tears gus

hed from my eyes. I quickly wiped them away lest he or others should catch me crying.

• 原句前后间隐含着转折，我们完全可以在两句之间添加“但是”二字，如：这时我看见他的背影，我的泪很快地流下来了。但是，我赶紧拭干了泪，怕他看见，也怕别人看见。杨译能“识破”内含的转折，巧用 connective ，把两句“捏”成一句： • At the sight of his burly back tears started to my

eyes, but I wiped them hastily so that neither he nor anyone else might see them.

• 我与父亲不相见已二年余了，我最不能忘记的是他的背影。那年冬天，祖母死了，父亲的差使也交卸了，正是祸不单行的日子，我从北京到徐州，打算跟着父亲奔丧回家。到徐州见着父亲，看见满院狼籍的东西，又想起祖母，不禁簌簌地流下眼泪。父亲说：“事已至此，不必难过，好在天无绝人之路。”

• Thought it is over two years since I saw my father, I can never forget my last view of his back. That winter my grandmother died, and my father’s official appointment was terminated, for troubles never come singly. I went from Beijing to Xuzhou, to go back with him for the funeral. When I joined him in Xuzhou I found the courtyard strewn with things and could not help shedding tears at the thought of granny. “what’s past is gone,” said my father. “It’s no use grieving. Heaven always leaves us some way out.”

• It is more than two years since I last saw father, and what I can never forget is the sight of his back. Misfortunes never come singly. In the winter of more than two years ago, grandma died and father lost his job. I left Beijing for Xuzhou to joint father in hastening home to attend grandma’s funeral. When I met father in Xuzhou, the sight of the disorderly mess in his courtyard and the thought of grandma started tears trickling down my cheeks. Father said, “Now that things’ve come to such a pass, it’s no use crying. Fortunately, Heaven always leaves one a way out.”

• 贯彻落实科学发展观，必须大力实施科教兴国战略、人才强国战略和可持续发展战略，加快社会事业发展；着力解决与人民群众切身利益相关的突出问题，维护社会稳定，努力构建社会主义和谐社会。• 加快科技改革和发展。今年要发布国家中长期科学和技术发展规划纲要。继续推进国家创新体系建设。加强基础研究、战略高技术研究和重要公益性技术研究。继续实施一批重大科技专项，加大关键技术攻关力度。加强重大科技基础设施和国家重点科研基地建设。深化科技体制改革，加快建立与社会主义市场经济体制相适应的科技管理体制、创新机制和现代院校制度。充分发挥企业在技术创新中的主体作用。加强产学结合，促进科技成果产业化。坚持社会科学和自然科学并重，进一步繁荣和发展哲学社会科学。

• We must adopt a scientific outlook on development and implement the strategy of reinvigorating our country through science, education and trained personnel and the strategy of sustainable development of social undertakings. We will strive to solve outstanding problems vital to the immediate interests of the people, safeguard social stability and build a harmonious socialist society.

• We will accelerate reform and development of science and technology. We will promulgate a national program for medium- to long-term scientific and technological development this year. We will continue the work of establishing a national innovation system. We will strengthen basic research and research in strategic hi-tech fields and important technologies for non-profit application.

• We will continue work on a set of major science and technology projects and devote more efforts to tackling problems in key technologies. We will move forward with the development of major science and technology infrastructure projects and key national bases for scientific research. We will deepen the reform of the science and technology system, and accelerate the establishment of a management system, an innovation mechanism and a modern system of research institutes that are compatible with our socialist market economy. Enterprises need to play a key role in technological innovation. We will strengthen cooperation among industries, universities and research institutes to promote application of scientific and technological advances in production. We will continue to attach equal importance to the social and natural sciences and further develop philosophy and the social science.