transforming family conflict in cambodia, summary report

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    Transforming Family Conflict:an exploration of the

    contexts, skills and perceptions

    of four community peacebuilders

    for Peace BridgesPhnom Penh, Cambodia

    October 2009

    A Summary Report

    by David Ketchum, Holly Ketchum and Ma Somethea

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    On behalf of the Peace Bridges team, we want to thank

    David and Holly Ketchum and Mrs. Ma Sometheafor this

    excellent and informative report.

    We are also sincerely grateful to the four anonymous gradu-

    ates of our training who were willing to openly discuss thejoys and challenges of family life. The insights of these

    women and men provided our team with a unique opportu-

    nity to understand more about family life in Cambodia, criti-

    cally reflect on our practices and begin to understand how

    Peace Bridges can positively impact upon families into the

    future.

    For too many people, the family is a place of abuse

    and fear rather than a safe place of belonging. Our

    hope is that this small research project will be a use-

    ful resource for the many Cambodian women and

    men committed to the challenge of building peace

    and resilience in families.

    Peace Bridges welcomes feedback and constructivecriticism of this report. We recognize this report is

    but a small insight into family life here, yet hope all

    readers find something helpful.

    Yours sincerely,

    Mr. ChanMony Mr. Barry Higgins

    General Services Manager Director

    A Word of Thanks...

    For more information, please contact Peace Bridges#73 Street 608 Toul Kork * Phnom Penh * P.O Box 1523 *office: 023 880 100 * e-mail: [email protected] *

    http://peacebridges.blogspot.com/

    For too many people,

    the family is a place

    of abuse and fear

    rather than a safe

    place of belonging.

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    Part 1: Why did Peace Bridges Research Family Conflict? 2

    Part 2: How did Peace Bridges Conduct the Case Study? 4

    Part 3: What Were the Key Theoretical Assumptions? 6

    1. Definitions of Domestic Violence from Cambodian Law

    2. Types of Family Violence

    3. Social Indicators

    4. Qualities of Healthy Families

    Part 4: What Did Peace Bridges Discover? 8

    1. The Experience of Family Conflict

    The Importance of Empathy for Self and Others 9

    Gender Stereotypes & Expressing Vulnerability 10

    2. Supporting Healthy Family PracticesRespecting & Valuing One Another 12

    Parenting that Nurtures, Protects & Guides 13

    Adapting to Change 13

    Solving Problems Peacefully 13

    3. Identifying Continuing Needs

    Identifying & Understanding Aggravating Factors 14

    Providing More Opportunities to Apply and Practice 15Understanding the Limitations of Empathy 15

    Part 5: Program Implications 16

    Selected Bibliography 18

    About Peace Bridges 22

    Peaceful Families Program 23

    Table of Contents

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    Transforming Family Conflict

    In the process of providing conflict counseling and mediation training, Peace Bridges heard consistent

    requests for more resources that help transform family conflict and violence. We also learned that the

    training Peace Bridges offered had significantly impacted peacebuilder perceptions of family conflict and

    their ability to engage it, and that some peacebuilders were now teaching these skills to other families in

    their communities.

    These stories and requests combined with Peace Bridges own growing awareness of how family vio-lence is a concern in Cambodia and the focus of various studies and programs. We were also concerned

    with recent studies that showed that, despite an increase in resources, violence in Cambodian families

    continued at significant rates.

    Part 1: Why did Peace Bridges

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    For example, in 1996, two studies documented the experience (Zimmerman, 1996) and prevalence (Nelson

    and Zimmerman, 1996) of family violence in Cambodia. A decade later, the most comprehensive research

    on Cambodia's experience of family violence showed that, tragically, little had changed. In 2005, 64% of

    the population claimed to know a family that used violence by Throwing something at the other, pushing

    or shoving or grabbing the other. Further, 58% claimed to know a family that used violence by Knocking

    on the head, slapping or spanking, kicking, biting, shaking, pulling hair, punching. Even in families with-

    out physical violence, 93% of respondents said that it was acceptable for cursing or insulting to be used

    in family conflict and 92% claimed they knew a family that used cursing/insulting. Perhaps most signifi-

    cantly, respondent attitudes about the acceptability of violence, including extreme violence (e.g., threaten-

    ing with a weapon, burning, choking, throwing acid, shooting, etc.), was consistently reported at disturb-

    ingly high levels. For example, when asked, In your opinion ... is it at any time acceptable for a husbandto do this to his wife?, 28% of respondents answered that it was at least sometimes acceptable to throw

    acid at or shoot the wife. (Cecil 2005: 26-29)

    The authors of this 2005 study also concluded that -

    There has been a wide range of donors, government agencies and NGOs working intensely to re-

    duce domestic violence for the last nine years. ... this study demonstrates that these efforts have not

    lead [sic] to a significant change in attitude or behaviors, .... At their core, these past approaches

    were unconnected to Cambodian values and attitudes. (Cecil 2005: 86)

    The authors also called for programs with the followingcharacteristics:

    1. Engages values and attitudes about power and control, specifically within the context of gender and

    family roles

    2. Addresses men rather than focusing exclusively on

    human rights education of women

    3. Engages widespread attitudes of acceptance of vio-

    lence, abuse, and men's entitlement to greater rights

    rather than focusing exclusively on domestic violence

    as a crime

    4. Operates with awareness of the importance ofkeeping the family together at all costs as a common

    value, including offering a wider range of possibilities

    that include conflict resolution and improved com-

    munication within the family, community based help

    structures, referral systems, counseling or working

    with violent men.

    (Cecil 2005: 86-87)

    The purpose of our casestudy research was to begin to inves-

    tigate the ability of Peace Bridges peace education programs

    to meet these four challenges.

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    Research Family Conflict?

    AT A GLANCE:

    From April to July 2009, Peace

    Bridges conducted a small case

    study research project that ex-

    plored how participating in ourlong-term training had impacted

    the ways people experienced and

    handled family conflict.

    The Transforming Family Conflict

    case study research is part of the

    larger strategy of Peace Bridges for

    designing and implementing peace

    programming relevant to healing

    violent families and buildingpeaceful families in Cambodia

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    Transforming Family Conflict

    Part 2: How did Peace Bridges

    Our research was guided by the following question:

    How has the Knowledge, Attitudes, Skills and Habits (KASH) taught in the Conflict Counseling and

    Mediation Training (CCMT) better equipped participants to transform family conflict?

    And was designed to meet four objectives:

    Objective 1. Identify the context and type of family conflict that community peacebuilders have ex-perienced.

    Objective 2. Identify and explore which KASH (Knowledge, Attitudes, Skills, and Habits) from

    CCMT have been useful to community peacebuilders in transforming family conflict.

    Objective 3. Explore what skills/strategies peacebuilder families are actually implementing during

    their conflicts.

    Objective 4. Identify continued needs for peacebuilder families for building healthy family systems

    and transforming family conflict.

    We chose to conduct a holistic, multiple case study. Our data sources included: interviews and role plays

    with four graduates of the CCMT course (2 men, 2 women; 2 from Phnom Penh, 2 from the provinces);

    focus group discussions with select members of Peace Bridges staff; a Rapid Assessment Survey ofpeacebuilders and partner organizations;Conflict Counseling and Mediation Training Lesson Plans, and

    Peace Bridges' 2009 External Evaluation.

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    Conduct the Case Study?

    Each case participated in an in-depth, semi-structured interview and accompanying role play that was fol-

    lowed by a focus group discussion of the data. In-depth interviews were conducted by teams of two Peace

    Bridges staff members (women with women and men with men). Interviews were recorded and interview-

    ers completed narrative reports. Following interviews, each case also participated in a role play. These role

    plays were designed by Peace Bridges staff to reflect culturally relevant conflict scenarios. Each role play

    was video recorded. The final stage of data collection utilized focus group discussions. Each case interview

    and role play was reviewed by the focus group and their reflections were recorded. Our intention was to

    gain the insight of those familiar with Cambodian culture andCCMTto identify and clarify the skills andstrategies actually being implemented by participants during family conflict, as well as the continued chal-

    lenges for cultivating peace.

    Data was analyzed using: 1) relevant theoretical propositions, 2) pattern matching and 3) cross-case analy-

    sis. As the data was compiled, each case was analyzed using the theories that had initially led to the study.

    We then looked for patterns within the case while comparing the empirically based pattern (i.e., the experi-

    ence of the participant in engaging family conflict) with the predicted one. In this case, our prediction was

    that the peace education provided in CCMTalso helped to cultivate healthy family systems, so we looked

    for patterns that demonstrated how and why (or how not and why not) CCMTKASH was useful in the

    family context. Finally, the cases were compared in order to modify our theory and develop policy implica-

    tions. In this final stage of the analysis, we looked for larger patterns of both the usefulness and limitations

    ofCCMTKASH in transforming family conflict.

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    Every family is unique, but patterns of conflict and violence can also be discerned. If we want to accurately

    understand when and how peace education supports family conflict transformation, we need to understand

    the context of family conflict and violence for the peacebuilders included in the study.

    Johnson (2006) constructed a typology of domestic violence that included four categories:

    Coercive Controlling Violence: indicated by controlling patterns, and includes such patterns as

    "intimidation; emotional abuse; isolation; minimizing, denying, and blaming; use of children;

    asserting male privilege; economic abuse; and coercion and threats"

    Violent Resistance: violence that occurs as an act of resistance against inflicted violence. It

    can be done almost instinctively in the moment, or can be thought out ahead of time in response

    to frequent violence

    Separation Instigated Violence: violence that occurs when a couple with no prior history of

    violence chooses to separate.

    The fourth category, Situational Couple Violence, was described in more detail by Kelly and Johnson(2008, 481-486). This violence is characterized as:

    not based on a relationship dynamic of coercion and control ... and mostly arises from conflicts

    and arguments between partners

    gender symmetric

    not embedded in a relationship-wide pattern of power, coercion, and control

    result[ing] from situations or arguments between partners

    resulting from One or both partners [having] poor ability to manage their conflicts and/or poor

    control of anger

    not accompanied by a chronic pattern of controlling, intimidating, or stalking behaviors

    Typically, this type of violence occurs infrequently (Johnson 2006, 18), though it can become "chronic and

    severe, even homicidal" (3-4).

    Transforming Family Conflict

    Part 3: What Were the Key The

    1. Domestic Violence Defined in Cambodian Law

    Cambodian law defines domestic violence as "violence that occurs between people living in the same

    house and who are dependent of the household". Acts of violence included in the law are as follows:

    "Acts affecting life;

    Acts affecting physical integrity;

    Torture or cruel acts;

    Harassment causing mental/psychological, intellectual harm;

    Mental/psychological and physical harm exceeding morality and the boundaries of the law;

    Sexual aggression (including violent sex, sexual harassment and indecent exposure); Threats aiming at frightening, shocking; and

    Acts affecting individuality and property." (CAMBOW 2007: 8)

    2. Types of Family Violence

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    There are many qualities used to define or support healthy family relationships. These qualities enable

    families to weather those inevitable conflicts that are a part of life in any relationship, and become even

    more crucial if a family is to survive a time of crisis. Some qualities of healthy families include:

    1. Commitment to each other as a family, and to the well-being of individual members

    2. Fairness among the spouses (equitable sharing, respect and support among spouses)

    3. Parenting that includes nurture, protection, and guidance for children

    4. Respect for individual differences and needs

    5. Trust, supported by predictability and stability in family interactions

    6. Flexibility in adapting to both internal and external demands of life

    7. Understanding andopen communicationbetween family members8. Effective problem-solving strategies, allowing for conflict resolution

    9. Shared life values

    10. Networking with larger social circles (relatives, friends, community, other social systems),

    thus providing resources for both physical and psycho-social support. (Peterson, 2003)

    The same qualities that make up a healthy family also support and maintain them during conflict situations.

    Because our theoretical assumptions provide the basisof our data analysis, it is important to name them here.

    oretical Assumptions?

    3. Social Indicators

    We also wanted to understand the social context of the participants families. Walker (1999, 21) identified

    factors that interact to determine this wider context:

    (1) gender [roles and stereotypes]

    (2) political structure

    (3) religious beliefs

    (4) attitudes toward violence in general

    (5) [attitudes toward] violence toward women

    (6) state-sponsored violence, such as civil conflicts and wars, and(7) the migration within and between countries

    Within Cambodia, patriarchal societal structure; sexual taboos; the five-tiered political structure; certain

    religious beliefs (e.g., common perceptions ofkamma); general attitudes regarding the acceptability of vio-

    lence; and migration between neighboring countries are all significant factors that can contribute to preva-

    lence of family violence and a sense of helplessness for its victims.

    4. Qualit ies of Healthy Families

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    Transforming Family Conflict

    Part 4: What Did Peace Bridges

    NOTE: In sharing results of an ex-

    ploratory case study, it is important to

    note that generalizations reported in ourMajor Findings are the perceptions of

    participants and should not be assumed

    to be representative.

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    Each participant had unique experiences of family conflict to share, but through all these stories was a con-

    sistent need to be heard and understood by their partner.

    "The common problems in my family conflict are lack of understanding or empathy or listening to differ-

    ent thoughts of each other, which always bring us to get angry with each other."

    Most of the conflicts arising within my family involve not listening, which frequently leads us to make a

    judgment and wrong understanding of one another.

    This inability to be understood was also related to feelings of powerlessness in one or both partners. These

    feelings of powerlessness, in turn, increased the likelihood of family conflict.

    "...she didn't understand me. She didn't know what my need

    was. Sometimes, I told her I needed something for a specific

    reason, but she always refused. It made me angry with her."

    My husband is so stubborn and firm on his side....most of

    the times it made me angry with him. He should listen com-

    pletely before making a conclusion...

    "Being angered, I spent my time on doing my work and did

    not talk to her and even did not come home to have lunch ordinner. I understood her nature was stubborn and it was not

    easy for her to come to reconcile with me until I came to her

    first. If I don't want the conflict to become bigger, I'm the

    one to compromise and reconcile with her."

    And in one case, the presence of empathy paved the way for

    reconciliation.

    Even though I was angry with him, I still kept my character

    of being reasonable and reacted in a polite way. He couldn't

    deny humbling himself to listen to my own reason and myopinion.

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    Discover?

    TYPES OF CONFLICT

    & VIOLENCE

    In each of the four cases, participants

    described experiences of conflict

    common to family life. No incidents

    of physical violence were reported.

    Verbally aggressive behaviors werenoted, with accompanying emotional

    pain, but there were no indications of

    chronic patterns of abuse. If conflict

    escalated to violence, it would most

    likely be consistent with Kelly and

    Johnson's description of situational

    couple violence. Especially important

    in the experience of conflict were:

    the perception of being misunder-

    stood, the experience of verbal ag-gression, and the challenge of recon-

    ciliation.

    1. The Experience of Family ConflictAs stories were shared about the experience of family conflict, several patterns began to emerge. Chief

    among these were: the importance of empathy and the influence of gender roles and stereotypes.

    The Importance of Empathy for Self and Others

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    Transforming Family Conflict

    All of the cases shared stories that revealed how gender stereotypes can impact family conflict.

    For example, a man's strength and power is often linked to his ability to earn the income for the family and

    a resultant expectation for the man to display this wealth. In one case, this social pressure provoked a dis-

    agreement over who was to handle money during travel -

    I wanted to show others that, as a man, I earned the money to spend on my wife or family.

    Focus group discussions reflected on the stories each case told as it related to gender and noted important

    ideas. First, domestic duties are commonly associated with weakness, so that -

    The man is very few times encouraged to have time with the children; he is the breadwinner and is

    seen to be tired after his work; if he returns home from work and sees the mess from the children, he

    can scold her (the wife) or even beat her and the community would see it as the wife's fault.

    Gender Stereotypes & Expressing Vulnerabil ity

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    Instead, the strong man may even be encouraged to be aloof from his family -

    Most men here would say that there are three things a man should know, 1) women, 2) wine, and 3)

    gambling.

    For my situation, I don't participate in the parties in my neighborhood, so they say to me that I am nota pure man and that I have a woman's attitude - instead of being a man I like doing the housework.

    Finally, in one case a male peacebuilder felt like his conviction to be different and exhibit strength in non-

    dominating ways negatively impacted his ability to be respected and listened to by others in the family.

    Similarly, both male and female cases expressed rigid roles for women, usually associated with managing

    finances and domestic duties. For example, one male remarked that

    Sometimes I recognize the nature of a lady as a person stricter on spending money .

    And a female remarked that

    ...it is the nature of a woman to see a cleaned and tidy house. I started to think as well about the

    differences between men and women. I rather reconciled with him so that the conflict of doing

    housework might be reduced.

    Focus group discussion also reflected on how parental roles are similarly affected by gender stereotypes.

    Consistent with the strong man image, mothers take a more prominent role in parenting.

    Since the baby is born, the mother is always closer to the children; a good father is still not as close

    as the wife.

    Even for the mother who is working and has the busi-

    ness, she still finds a way to be close to the children.

    These gender conceptions often had a strong relationship to

    family conflict. For example, a man may feel it is difficult to

    admit mistakes or seek reconciliation, or he may be per-

    ceived as weak if he does these things.

    As a man, I feel shame to talk to my wife first when

    we have a conflict.

    A man should not have a mistake.

    To let it go (i.e., not talk about the conflict) can be

    understood as an apology. To say it out loud is

    shameful for a man.

    Talking first shows his weakness, shows he has a

    mistake inside him....For the wife to point it out also

    makes him vulnerable.

    Then I understood that the nature of man being the

    husband in conflict is hardly to compromise to the

    wife.

    Why Focus on Gender?

    Although the data was analyzed using

    all seven of Walkers Social Indicators,

    the most significant patterns emerged

    while looking at gender issues. Gender

    roles appear to play a dominant part in

    family conflict and violence. Specifi-

    cally, in these four cases, the men

    tended to experience a great deal ofpressure to conform to socially rein-

    forced images of masculinity, while the

    women tended to express needs for con-

    nection, respect, and being heard. How-

    ever, this should not be taken to mean

    that the men felt no need for emotional

    connection and respect (they clearly did)

    or that women felt no societal pressures

    (they clearly did). Rather, gender stereo-

    types in Cambodia seem to reinforcethese expectations and, in turn, influ-

    ence how conflict is experienced bymen and women.

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    Transforming Family Conflict

    2. Supporting Healthy Family Practices

    Respecting & Valuing One Another

    Empathetic listening skills were indicated as key in learning to respect and value family members. These

    skills empowered participants to uncover common interests and values beneath their differences.

    I believe that if each couple is aware of [empathetic listening skills] and performs them well, they

    will hardly have the conflict among them. Importantly, they might be able to see the values of one

    another more clearly.

    ...empathetic listening and emotional control are really important to the situation of my family

    conflict. It helps me think more deeply to find out what is the reason behind [my spouse's atti-

    tude].

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    Not surprisingly, there was a very strong connection between Peace Bridges training andeffective prob-

    lem-solving strategies allowing for conflict resolution. Cases noted several lessons that promoted these

    skills: understanding, communication and active listening skills; anger management (including avoidance

    as an acceptable strategy taking time off to cool down before confronting a problem); emotional regula-

    tion or rational emotive therapy; problem analysis; forgiveness; and a Judeo-Christian theology of peace

    practice.

    All four cases shared how the training enhanced their abilities to solve problems peacefully.

    Being quiet not to respond harshly while the conflict arose was the effective way to solve myproblem. It gave me time to consider the reason and helped me calm down as well. It released

    my anger and helped me speak out consciously.

    Conflict analysis tools which I used helped release the anger by taking away from the prob-

    lems for a while... It enhances me to prevent the serious problem."

    ...we obviously will not really want to make any reconciliation if we are under strong emo-

    tions.

    Fighting to win is not a good way to deal with the conflict, but discussing and reconciling

    is...

    I used to assume..., but now I've changed the way of thinking...to look at the problem tree...to

    find out the reason and help...find the solution to the problem.

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    Solving Problems Peacefully

    Understanding and valuing all family members also helped parents create positive relationships with chil-

    dren in the family. For example, one participant was able to encourage change in the ways the family re-

    sponded to his daughter's mistakes. Together, they chose to encourage their daughter for her efforts instead

    of scolding and blaming her for her failures.

    One of my daughters was being scolded and blamed everyday by my wife and the rest of my family

    for her repeated mistakes. However, I could see this method to correct her was not the right way; I

    saw no improvement at all. I told them not to scold her but we should try to understand and find out

    what was the reason behind her mistakes. I explained to them all about the situation she would find

    and how hard she worked for the family. They gradually changed the way of thinking towards her

    and she was being encouraged on and on. This is a good example of practicing the lesson.

    Flexibility in adapting to both internal and external demands of life was enhanced by lessons on

    emotional regulation, problem identification and analysis, forgiveness (of self and other), and a Judeo-

    Christian theology of peace practice. One case commented that:

    Before taking the CCMT course, I had no way to solve the problem. If I had an argument with

    someone I might not talk to her or him and perhaps stop having a relationship with them at all.

    Parenting that Nurtures, Protects & Guides

    Adapting to Change

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    Transforming Family Conflict

    3. Identifying Continuing Needs

    Identifying & Understanding Aggravating Factors

    Peace Bridges long-term training was effective in empowering peacebuilders to deal with common family

    conflicts. In these situations, the main limiting factor was the need for more training with direct application

    to family situations and accompanying role plays. However, one case also raised the important issue of un-

    derstanding aggravating factors (in this case, drunkenness) that complicate family conflict.

    For this peacebuilder, training supported her ability to cope with the situation, helping her understand and

    have empathy with her partner and promote her own emotional regulation. However, the training did not

    help the family address some root problems, indicating both a potential strength and weakness:

    Basic peace education is not sufficient in itself to address more complex family issues.

    However, it may be effectively integrated into programs addressing complex family issues and

    with great potential for enhancing the effectiveness of those programs.

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    It is also important for participants to understand the limits of listening and empathy, including the risk of

    perpetuating situations of injustice or violence (Saguy et al 2009; Tsang and Stanford 2006). In the exam-

    ple of the aggravating factors, increased empathy and forgiveness for her partner helped the case remain in

    the relationship without the relationship being changed: alcohol consumption and verbal aggression contin-ued. Another case exhibited a similar tendency: increased empathy and understanding, while leading to

    several transformative interactions, also increased the cases tolerance for some unhealthy family patterns,

    including lack of mutual respect.

    Understanding the Limitations of Empathy

    Participants showed a strong understanding of basic peace education concepts but sometimes struggled to

    consistently implement them in their families. They identified a need for support and practice, including

    homework assignments and role plays. Additionally, specific needs related to understanding and open com-

    munication were identified in three areas:

    more practice in empathetic listening to understand the other's view and values;

    the role of gossip in escalating or provoking conflict;

    parenting issues (such as listening to your children to foster family intimacy).

    For example,

    Perhaps we are not good listeners to the children. They rarely come to us and discuss their issues.

    Instead they go and tell their friends. I can see we haven't provided enough family intimacy, that'swhy our children run out to the others when they have a problem rather than coming to us. We

    sometimes blame each other for this reason.

    Providing More Opportunities to Apply and Practice

    Community Support

    Another related issue was locating ongoing support within communities. Cases indicated that while they

    were part of larger social circles that could (and at times did) provide this needed support, these relation-

    ships were not always positive and supportive. Neighbors sometimes criticized one another (even to the

    point of predicting eventual marital failure/divorce) and neighborhood gossip about the family could initi-ate/escalate conflict situations. Additionally, in one family, relatives intervened to prevent divorce without

    also providing resources to help solve the conflicts/tensions that were fueling the desire for separation.

    Sometimes, I chose to divorce...but our elderly relatives always helped with the intervention and

    encouraged us not to get divorced.

    After being married, there were many criticisms from our neighborhood; they said we would not

    keep our marriage relationship for long and that we might get divorced someday because we were

    from a different family status.

    ... [My spouse] is always complaining and telling our neighbors about our problem. It doesn't

    help at all and sometimes it doubles our problem. I often argue with [my spouse] for this reason.

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    Transforming Family Conflict

    Part 5: Program Implications

    1. Engaging Values & Attitudes

    New programs should have a strong connection with present training process and content, which has

    shown to have a strong impact on promoting healthy family systems.

    Specifically, new programs should build on strengths of impacting values and attitudes, especially

    lessons about power and identity. Training should help participants cultivate deeper understandings of posi-

    tive models of power and how they apply to family life.

    Gender roles and stereotypes should be specifically addressed, but the topic should be approached in a

    nonjudgmental, exploratory fashion.

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    Peace Bridges' network of community peacebuilders provides the opportunity to extend impacts by

    integrating peace education into other programs addressing family conflict and violence. Peace Bridges

    should work strategically to identify, equip, and mobilize key partners working in these areas.

    New programs should also include helping partners and Peace Bridges see new and creative ways to

    heal family conflict and promote healthy family systems. This type of integration could also help overcome

    the limitations listed above (e.g., chronic abuse, addictions, and trauma).

    Acknowledging that religious ideas and institutions often have a significant function in Cambodian

    families, more attention should be given to how religious community-based help structures can support

    healthy family systems. However, this should also be done with an awareness of the ambiguous nature of

    religious beliefs and institutions. It calls for more investigation into important questions about: What reli-gious content regarding family life is being taught? How can religious belief be used to support healthy

    family systems? How open are religious communities to content from other settings (e.g., other Cambodian

    cultural resources or insights from psychosocial researchers and clinicians)?

    2. Including All the Members of the Family

    While it is often not practical for training and services to be provided to multi-generational partici-

    pants, training and services can be provided with an awareness of the needs of everyone in the family. New

    programs should explore ways to encourage transformation for whole families - and not just participants

    who are able to attend training.

    The social/political structure suggests that equipping village chiefs and members of commune coun-

    cils with knowledge, attitudes, and skills relevant to family conflicts/violence would be highly beneficial.

    Because children are typically overlooked, providing resources and training related to parenting/

    nurturing children could also be a very fruitful way to transform family relationships.

    3. Keeping the Family Together

    The social and cultural value of keeping a family together, even at great cost, is both a strength and a

    weakness. The great value is the motivation and commitment that families may bring to transforming fam-

    ily conflict, provided they have the willingness to acknowledge the issues. The great risk is that families

    will tolerate destructive patterns in the family relationships.

    It may be common for families and third parties to fail to understand basic concepts of family vio-

    lence or the reconciliation process. New programs should help participants look deeply at their own family

    habits of reconciliation and construct culturally appropriate models that honor everyone involved, protectbasic rights, and is founded on a solid understanding of family violence issues.

    The case studies also illustrated situations in which basic peace education had limited effect. These

    complicated family dynamics are ones that many peacebuilders will interact with, if not in their own fami-

    lies then in other families in their communities. They include: chronic abusive situations (including life-

    threatening ones), addictions, and trauma healing. Building on the value that healthy families ask for help

    when they need it, new programs should cultivate knowledge and attitudes about these limitations, as well

    as help peacebuilders create networks and referral systems.

    4. Enlarging the Possibilit ies

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    Transforming Family Conflict

    Selected Bibliography

    Family Conflict & Violence

    Bennet, D; Sullivan, M; and Lewis, M. (2005) Young Children's Adjustment as a Function of Mal-

    treatment, Shame, and Anger. Child Maltreatment10(4); 311-323. Available online at: http://

    cmx.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/10/4/311

    The authors explore the relationship between shame, anger, and behavior problems. From the ab-

    stract: Shame, anger, age, and type of maltreatment appear to be important factors in explaining

    variance in behavioral adjustment following a history of maltreatment.

    Johnson, Michael P. (2006, November). A general theory of intimate partner violence: A working

    paper. Paper presented at the Theory Construction and Research Methodology Pre-Conference Workshop,

    National Council on Family Relations annual meeting. Minneapolis, Minnesota. Available online at:

    http://www.personal.psu.edu/mpj/2006%20TCRM.doc

    Kelly, Joan B. and Michael P. Johnson. (2008). Differentiation among types of intimate partner vio-

    lence: Research update and implications for interventions. Family Court Review 46 (3), 476-499. Available

    online at: http://www.personal.psu.edu/mpj/2008%20FCR%20Kelly%20and%20Johnson.pdf

    From the abstract: A growing body of empirical research has demonstrated that intimate partner

    violence is not a unitary phenomenon and that types of domestic violence can be differentiated withrespect to partner dynamics, context, and consequences. Four patterns of violence are described:

    Coercive Controlling Violence, Violent Resistance, Situational Couple Violence, and Separation-

    Instigated Violence.

    Kishor, Sunita and Kiersten Johnson. 2004. Profiling Domestic Violence A Multi-Country Study. Calver-

    ton, Maryland: ORC Macro. Available online at: http://www.measuredhs.com/pubs/pdf/OD31/OD31.pdf

    From the Executive Summary: This study uses household and individual-level data from the

    Demographic and Health Surveys (DHS) program to examine the prevalence and correlates of do-

    mestic violence and the health consequences of domestic violence for women and their children.

    Nationally representative data from nine countriesCambodia (2000), Colombia (2000), the Do-

    minican Republic (2002), Egypt (1995), Haiti (2000), India (1998-1999), Nicaragua (1998), Peru

    (2000), and Zambia (2001-2002)are analyzed within a comparative framework to provide a mul-

    tifaceted analysis of the phenomenon of domestic violence.

    Perry, B.D. (1997) Incubated in Terror: Neurodevelopmental Factors in the Cycle of Violence. In

    Children, Youth and Violence: The Search for Solutions (J Osofsky, Ed.). Guilford Press, New York, pp

    124-148. Available online from: http://www.childtrauma.org/CTAMATERIALS/incubated.asp

    Perry discusses the risks and impacts associated with child exposure to violence. Though over a

    decade old, this is still one of the most important articles for peacebuilders addressing family vio-lence.

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    Pinheiro, Paulo (2006). World Report on Violence Against Children. Geneva, Switzerland: UnitedNations. Available online from: http://www.unicef.org/violencestudy/3.%20World%20Report%20on%

    20Violence%20against%20Children.pdf

    The author includes reports on violence against children in a variety of contexts, including families

    and schools. He discusses violence against children as a threat to global development.

    Saguy, T., Tausch, N., Dovidio, J. and Pratto, F. (2009) The Irony of Harmony: Intergroup Contact

    Can Produce False Expectations for Equality." Psychological Science 20:1, 114-121. Online publication

    date: 1-Feb-2009.

    Tsang, J. and Stanford, M. (2006) Forgiveness for intimate partner violence: The influence of vic-tim and offender variables, Personality and Individual Differences, 42, 653-664 Retrieved 12 January 2008

    from: http://www.baylor.edu/content/services/document.php/35618.pdf

    From the abstract: In women, empathy and general religiousness positively related to forgiveness,

    but attributions of blame were unrelated to forgiveness. Several dispositional variables in men were

    associated with forgiveness in women. Men who were more dominant were more likely to be for-

    given, but men with more psychological problems were less likely to be forgiven. Many offender

    effects were mediated by womens state empathy. These trends have important implications for

    peacebuilding, especially those involving forgiveness and reconciliation.

    Walker, Lenore (January 1999). Psychology and Domestic Violence Around the World.AmericanPsychologist. January 1999; 54, 1; 21-29. Retrieved 28 February from: http://www.ugr.es/~prodopsi/

    sitioarchivos/Archivos/Walker%201999.pdf

    Walker discusses the progress of and challenges faced when implementing domestic violence ser-

    vices in contexts outside of North America. Topics include: human rights, legal systems, public

    health approaches, and sociocultural factors.

    Family Conflict & Violence in Cambodia

    Cecil, Catherine et al (2005). Violence Against Women A Baseline Survey (MOWA: Phnom Penh,

    Cambodia).

    The most recent comprehensive look at Cambodia, including values and attitudes.

    CAMBOW (2007). Violence Against Women: How Cambodian Laws Discriminate Against Women.

    LICADHO: Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Available online at: http://www.licadho.org/reports.php?perm=112

    This report discusses the legal situation of family violence in Cambodia by analyzing relevant Cam-

    bodian laws in light of CEDAW (UN Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimina-

    tion Against Women), interviews with CAMBOW (Cambodian Committee of Women) and clients.It includes case studies.

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    Transforming Family Conflict

    Krysan, Moore, & Zill (1990).Identifying Successful Families: An Overview of Constructs and Se-

    lected Measures. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: Child Trends, Inc. Available online at:

    http://aspe.hhs.gov/daltcp/Reports/ressucfa.htm

    Peterson, Gayle (1996-2003). Tip sheet: Ten Processes (Qualities) that Support Healthy Family Re-lationships (excerpted fromMaking Healthy Families. Shadow and Light Publishers). Available online at:

    http://www.askdrgayle.com/seminar_j.htm

    Healthy Family Systems

    Ketchum, David and Holly Ketchum (2008). Understanding Family Violence in Cambodia: A

    Background Study (Phnom Penh: Peace Bridges). Available at: http://sites.google.com/site/peacebridgesresources/Home/UnderstandingFamilyViolenceAugust2008.pdf?attredirects=0

    This literature review is divided into 2 sections. The first looks at literature from a (mainly) North

    American perspective with an eye to relevance to the Southeast Asian context. The second reviews

    literature from Cambodia. It also includes good bibliographies with lots of links to online docu-

    ments. It was written for Peace Bridges and includes program recommendations.

    Lim, Jo-Ann. (2009 June) Out of Court Resolutions of Violence Against Women: Practices and Is-

    sues in Cambodia. DanChurchAid. Available online at: http://www.danchurchaid.org/where_we_work/

    asia/cambodia/read_more/new_report_women_are_trapped_in_violent_marriages

    This very timely and important study includes a focus on reconciliation processes, including: 1)

    [W]hether or not a community has been provided with a strong NGO presence or given training on

    domestic violence and relevant issues does not appear to impact on the resolution process itself.

    Cultural norms that emphasise the importance of the family, reconciliation and the shame of di-

    vorce continue to mould resolution processes in every community. 2) Authorities main method

    for resolving domestic violence cases involves meeting both parties, educating the parties not to

    commit violence and reconciling the couple so that they would not divorce. And 3) Authorities

    continue to perpetuate cultural stereotypes that force a woman to submit to her husband. ... Tradi-

    tional attitudes and cultural norms that discriminate against women on the basis of female inferior-

    ity and male superiority, prioritize the needs of the family and the familys reputation over theneeds of the survivor and of her safety.

    Nelson & Zimmerman (1996).Household Survey on Domestic Violence in Cambodia. Phnom

    Penh, Cambodia: Ministry of Womens Affairs and Project Against Domestic Violence.

    Zimmerman, Cathy. (1994) Plates in a Basket Will Rattle: Domestic Violence in Cambodia. Phnom

    Penh, Cambodia: Project Against Domestic Violence (PADV).

    These two studies were foundational for the development of family violence interventions in Cam-

    bodia. Plates in a Basketis a collection of case studies illustrating the nature and impact of violence

    on specific members of the community.Household Survey was the first attempt to document theprevalence of family violence in present-day Cambodia.

    In Cambodia, continued

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    Research Methodology

    The following resources provide an introduction to case study research methodology.

    Baxter, Pamela and Jack, Susan. (2008, December) "Qualitative Case Study Methodology: Study

    Design and Implementation for Novice Researchers." The Qualitative Report13:4, 544-559. Available

    online at: http://www.nova.edu/ssss/QR/QR13-4/baxter.pdf

    Tellis, Winston. (1997, July). "Introduction to Case Study." The Qualitative Report. 3:2. Available

    at: http://www.nova.edu/ssss/QR/QR3-2/tellis1.html

    Tellis. Winston. (1997, September). "Application of a case study methodology." The Qualitative

    Report, 3:3. Available at: http://www.nova.edu/ssss/QR/QR3-3/tellis2.html

    Yin, Robert. (1989) Case Study Research: Design and Methods. Sage: Newbury Park, CA.

    The following document is also very useful for anyone interested in conducting or understanding research

    investigating family and gender-based violence.

    Ellsberg, Mary and Heise, Lori. Researching Violence Against Women: A Practical Guide for Re-

    searchers and Activists. Washington DC, United States: World Health Organization, PATH; 2005. Avail-

    able at: http://www.path.org/files/GBV_rvaw_front.pdf

    This is a very helpful document, including for practitioners not conducting research but who would

    like to understand research methodologies and domestic violence materials better. It includes a verygood appendix pointing practitioners to important web resources in a variety of domains (e.g., me-

    dia, health sector, community programs, etc.).

    Full Case Study Report

    If you have found this summary report of interest, a full report is also available. It contains

    more detailed information, including:

    background and rationale

    research methodology and data sources

    literature review

    in-depth discussion of major findings

    The full report is available from Peace Bridges or online at:

    http://pbresources.blogspot.com/2009/11/case-study-reports.html

    Our weblog also includes related documents in the Peace Resources section:

    http://peacebridges.blogspot.com

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    Transforming Family Conflict 22

    About Peace Bridges

    Peace Bridges was formed in response to the recommendations of the Evangelical Fellow-ship of Cambodias Task Force on Peace and Conflict. Originally conceived to help pastors

    and churches provide mediation and conciliation services, Peace Bridges vision has deep-ened and expanded over the last six years. We have now provided long-term training and

    partnership/mobilization services to over 100 community peacebuilders. Our partnershipprojects include peace education in prisons, schools, churches, NGOs, and other community

    organizations.

    Partnership with Peace Bridges is a commitment that extends from: 1) identification of part-

    ners and relationship-building for mutual trust and benefit; 2) selection and training of keypeacebuilders from partner organizations, including commitment by partners to peace pro-

    gramming; 3) mobilization and continued support from Peace Bridges staff to help tailor

    peace programs to partner-specific contexts and provide resources and co-trainers.

    ** For more information, please contact Peace Bridges,Orrefer to the Project Proposal and other documentation.Available online at: http: //peacebridges.blogspot.com **

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    Peaceful Families Program

    Since August 2008, Peace Bridges has been building staff capacity and exploring appropriate ways

    for Peace Bridges to address these needs. A pilot program will be conducted January June 2010

    that is focused on developing family reconciliation resources appropriate for Cambodia. It is antici-

    pated that this training will become an ongoing course, offered annually, providing specialized

    training for graduates of Peace Bridges foundational peace training. This program will include:

    6 units (3.5 days per unit) of training

    A focus on skills and issues relevant to family reconciliation

    A design that follows a general model of reconciliation (see the figure below for unit

    topics)

    Because reconciliation is rarely a linear or sequential event, each unit is focused on a particular

    part of the process and the relevant knowledge, attitudes, skills and habits needed to support fami-

    lies. Unit 6 will be an extended (5 day) unit that includes training in Planning, Monitoring &Evaluation of peace programming.

    As in our other programming, Peace Bridges staff will then support graduates in developing and

    implementing family peace education training and services in their own circles of influence, as

    well as continue to build staff capacity (relevant to family conflict/violence) and partnerships.

    Future program directions may include: men's support groups, women's support groups, premarital

    counseling training, and family mediation training.

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    SPECIAL THANKS:

    We would like to offer thanks to the community peacebuilders and Peace Bridges staff who participated in the

    case study research, with the hope of a peaceful future for all our families.

    PHOTO CREDITS:

    Kathy Amstutz: Front Cover: #1, 3, 5, 6; Pages: 4-5, 6-7, 8, 10, 16

    David Ketchum: Front Cover: #2, 4, 7; Pages: 2, 12, 14

    Ethics & Confidentiality:

    Community peacebuilders who participated in the case study research are not named in the summary or full re-

    port and are not shown in photographs Quotations in the body of the report do not reveal personal details

    Peace Bridges

    provides training and

    services to community

    peacebuilders to engage

    conflict in constructiveand creative ways.

    For more information, please contact Peace Bridges#73 Street 608 Toul Kork * Phnom Penh * P.O Box 1523 *

    office: 023 880 100 * e-mail: [email protected] *http://peacebridges.blogspot.com/