Teacher, Trainer, Friend A tribute to Tom Steinbacher from his many students

 

Foreword

f you are reading this, you already know that Tom Steinbacher was an incredible man. You also know that he had a way of relating to people in a way that made sense,

and made a difference. Tom was a man of relatively few words; he was thoughtful and succinct in what he had to say. These are just some of the qualities that made Tom such a great person, and such a successful teacher. And it is Tom’s legacy as a teacher that inspired this book.

When Tom left us in late December, 2012, the world lost a remarkable man. Testament to that fact was the spontaneous outpouring from his former students of their own “Tom stories” when they received an email announcing his passing. It quickly became obvious that each person who received that email had unique memories to share, of how they each met Tom, what he had done for them, and ultimately, what he meant to them. This book is a compilation of those memories.

At Tom’s memorial service we heard the priest speak eloquently of Tom as a “fixer.” He could fix most anything that needed repair around the house, and many of us first found our way to Tom because we needed his help “fixing” our dogs. Of course, the fix generally started with the human in these cases, so along the way Tom fixed us, too. A number of the stories in the pages that follow recount experiences like this. One of Tom’s gifts was the ability to point out what the person needed to do differently without causing offense or hurt feelings—even though his comments often had to be made publically, in a class setting. We all learned from this, and from each other.

In addition to being a fixer, Tom was also a builder. He had a complete woodworking shop in his garage and enjoyed making toys for his grandkids. He also built cabinets for his wife Casey, built the furniture in his mountain cabin, and completed a number of home renovation projects. He built his wonderful dog park, and more recently—with help from friends Everett and Jon—built the adjacent training building that would allow him to hold classes in the evenings and during wet weather. Perhaps most significantly, though, Tom built a community—a community of former students and other acquaintances, many of whom first met during class or on a pack walk. People who now have connections and friendships between them, friendships that will continue.

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Tom would say that dogs made it all possible, that the love of dogs is what brought us together. Perhaps. But all the threads lead back to Tom, the builder of this community. These are the stories of our community.

Everett, Teresa, Carol, and Andrea

(with help from Cosmo, Max, Chester, and Floyd)

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Back in October, after an absence of 5 months, I took Nietzsche to Tom’s Thursday evening open training. I went early so I could talk to Tom about my problems walking Nietzsche. Twice daily, I am tired of her pulling. Tom listened and told me to walk her along the fence. Nietzsche wanted to go to car so the walk was not a great success.

Tom said, “Dick, come back.” I did. Tom took the leash and sat Nietzsche down. By then Nietzsche was shaking. He put his hand on her rump and whispered something in her ear. It looked to me like that she nodded! “Heel,” he said, and off they went in harmony. A few correction with the leash and they were back to me. He sat her down and gave me the leash. “This is how it is done, you have to lead your dog with confidence. You walk looking straight ahead and do not look down at her, she has to take confidence from you.” I said, “This means I have to take more lessons.” “You said it.” was Tom’s answer. In November he told us we could start with Nietzsche in the January Advanced class. “She’ll do fine,” Tom said. I wonder about me? Leadership with confidence, what a rare gift he had. This pack will have an empty feeling for some time to come. We will keep on walking and training, and saying “Tom said…”

Dick, Ineke, Kelly, and Nietzsche Philippo

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I don’t have an anecdote or a funny story to relate. I just feel compelled to share how profoundly Tom impacted my life and how much better it is because my dogs and I knew Tom. I found Tom by admiring a pair of golden retrievers being walked in my neighborhood. I was overwhelmed by my new rescue dog, Angus, a Scottish terrier, who pulled, lunged, barked when on a leash and nipped at people, including biting a friend in my living room. After seeing those two goldens walk along so calmly with their owner, I plucked up the courage to talk to the owner. She told me about Tom. I called, he came to my house. Tom described what was going on in terms I could begin to grasp and gave me some exercises to do with my dogs. I enrolled in my first of four classes. It had to go through class twice with Angus before we made enough improvement to make walking him a joy, but we managed it with Tom’s patience and a little help from Rudy and that curling lip thing he does to tell other dogs to back off and chill out.

When I rescued Dooley, my third Scottie, Tom again rescued me and again it took me two classes to make real progress. I’m a slow learner when it comes to changing behavior, just like my hard-headed dogs. I wasn’t giving enough praise, and while I’m still working on it, life with three dogs and me as the entire pack is fun, and I owe that to Tom’s teaching. Every morning when I feed the dogs, I still do the exercise Tom taught me to focus my dogs’ attention on me and what I am asking of them: Sit. Place bowl with food in front of dog. Ask them to wait, look at me and then, “Now you may have it” starts my every morning. I am going to truly miss those occasional pack walks around East Campus, which always seemed to make my dogs behave better.

Muir, Angus, and Dooley Dean

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A few months after we moved to North Carolina, in April 2007, our Shepherd mix, Mila, passed away at 13 years old. We didn’t consider another dog until May, when our new neighbors, Tom and Casey Steinbacher, told us about a dog at North Paw Animal Hospital that needed a home. We thought it was a sign that this dog might be our next pet. After visiting with the dog, whose name was already Lucy, we fell in love with her. As we all know, Tom had a special gift for bringing together new dog families. We did add on a middle name as it is the custom in the south. Lucy Lu was officially ours. We were part of Tom’s first dog training class at North Paw.

Before the class Tom helped Lucy Lu conquer her fear of the Invisible Fence. Lucy Lu wouldn’t leave our deck to get down on the grass, afraid she would get a shock. So Tom walked up to our house one day without his dogs to say “hello.” We described how Lucy Lu wasn’t playing in the yard because of her fear of the electric fence. Tom said “this won’t do,” and he walked down to his house to get Rudy and Tillie, and came back up. He picked up Lucy Lu and placed her down on the lawn and told Rudy and Tillie “go get Lucy.” They started to chase Lucy Lu around the house. Before long they were playing and Lucy Lu was over her fear of the electric fence.

On another occasion, Tom and I both had daughters flying in that afternoon and evening for Christmas 2008. We had been working out in one of our yards on a project. We decided to call it quits around mid day as rain clouds approached and we needed to get cleaned up for our respective trips to the airport. Tom, always wanting to give the dogs a walk when possible, called me after showering and said “let’s go for a quick walk before it starts raining.” As usual, Tom walked Rudy and Tillie, and I walked Lucy Lu. We were half way through our walk and about a mile away from home when it started raining. Neither one of us wanted to get wet because we’d just cleaned up for the arrival of our girls. So we started running home. Very quickly into our run Tom said “I have a problem here, Dan, hold up, my pants keep falling down.” In Tom’s haste to get dressed and walk before the rain came down, he forgot to put on a belt. We decided I would take Tillie and Lucy Lu, he would hold up his pants with one hand hold onto Rudi with the other as we all ran home.

Dan, Leslie, and Lucy Lu Kutner

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Thanks to Tom Steinbacher, Lily is now a therapy dog. I adopted her from English Springer Rescue Association and enrolled her in obedience and agility classes with Tom. While taking his Canine Good Citizen class, Lily and I heard an announcement about a new class starting soon. Tom described therapy dog work and emphasized that a special dog personality was needed. He turned around in our circle of canines and their humans, pointed at Lily and said, “A dog like Lily makes a good therapy dog.” Really? I’d never heard of therapy dogs and started to ask questions. I wasn’t sure we could do it, but we signed up and practiced our therapy dog lessons.

Three days before the challenging final exam, we had a ‘chicken disaster´ during practice. Instead of walking by the tempting freshly cooked chicken, Lily ignored me and devoured the morsel. “No!” I thought. “We have not come this far and worked so hard to fail at the very end.” So I upped my training with Lily and worried a lot over the next three days. Tom’s instruction paid off as she passed one part of the exam and then another, but I was still really nervous about the chicken test. As Tom tempted Lily with the tasty chicken, I bellowed “No” so loudly and so sternly that my precious Lily whipped her little head around to look at me and then steadfastly refused any further interest in the chicken. She knew—in no uncertain terms—that this chicken was off limits. The chicken test went smoothly, and after receiving our therapy dog certification, Tom said to me, “Karen, I didn’t know you knew how to give a real command.” Well, I didn’t until Tom taught me.

Now Lily and I are a practicing therapy dog team at a local nursing home. Every time we visit patients, it is a testimony to Tom’s skill and love of dogs. Tom’s work lives on in the many dogs and their humans he helped through his Obey and Protect classes and in the smiles of the many patients when Lily visits.

Karen and Lily Bowen

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When I first adopted my dog Bailey, a springer-bassett mix, I felt he was a little too aggressive with other dogs. Through North Paw Animal Hospital I was able to contact Tom Steinbacher and discuss both my dog’s needs and my needs with Tom. Tom quickly informed me that Bailey—being a rescue dog— truly had an unknown background. However, he said, if he could train Bailey’s owner (me), I could also train Bailey. I quickly learned that it is the dog’s willingness and desire to please its master that makes the dog trainable. Tom would instruct me in the proper techniques for giving various commands, and through repetition and training Bailey acquired all of them. Because of Tom’s willingness to work with us, Bailey passed the AKC Canine Good Citizen test. Both Bailey and I very much appreciate everything Tom did for us. Words cannot describe all of it.

Larry and Bailey Bowen

I was in Tom’s last obedience class with my stubborn little schnauzer, Scubi. Although, he did not make the progress the other students did, he did make some progress, so that is good. He was able to do the agility but has not yet mastered down and stay. In memory of Tom, I will continue to work with Scubi, as he said “training is ongoing” and we want to make Tom proud. I was always impressed with Tom’s knowledge and ability to handle any situation that arose with the dogs. He would often take Scubi from me as I couldn’t seem to always take control of him. At the November open training, I made a comment about Scubi being stubborn and maybe part of it could be because of the owner (me) and Tom said, “You think?” ☺

I appreciate the opportunity to have been in Tom’s class.

Susan and Scubi Browning

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We first met Tom shortly after we had adopted Elsa from the Durham APS. She was an owner surrender, so we thought she’d be a great dog, already trained. Her previous owner had spoiled her rotten, so Elsa wasn’t too happy with the rules in our house—namely, that she couldn’t sleep in the bed with us or be up on the furniture. Needless to say, she started showing some less than desirable behaviors, including pooping on my very expensive Oriental run in the dining room. We were at our wits end as we never caught her in the act and couldn’t figure out how to get her to stop. The staff at North Paw Animal Hospital recommended Tom. We knew that if Tom couldn’t help then we’d have to give her back to Durham APS as we couldn’t have a dog pooping in the house with young children, but we knew it would crush the girls because they were already so attached to her. Tom came over to meet the family and Elsa. He immediately had a solution and he asked us a simple question: Do you let your children have full run of the house? And of course we said “No,” so he asked why we let Elsa have free run of the house since she obviously couldn’t be trusted. We just shrugged our shoulders. So we put up the baby gates and kept Elsa with us at all times—if we were in the kitchen, she was in the kitchen; if we were in the bathroom, she was in the bathroom. And guess what—no more pooping in the house!! It was a miracle and based on some very practical and helpful tips from Tom. Now she has full run of the house and we can trust her.

Tom’s next word of advice was to enroll Elsa in the Good Canine Citizen class. Elsa did great in the class and my daughter, Claire, who was 5 at the time, really got into training Elsa and worked with her every day. When it came time to take the test, Tom sent me away and told me that Claire would take Elsa through the test. I was really worried as I wanted Elsa to pass, but Tom made me leave (literally!) and Claire and Elsa passed with flying colors. Tom knew that she could do it and it gave Claire so much confidence. She was so proud of herself and still talks about how she trained Elsa and how Elsa passed the test. Tom did more for Claire that day than anything—he believed in her and was so impressed with how mature and dedicated she was with training Elsa. As we’ve all said, Tom has trained more human beings than anything else.

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And finally, a short story on Yuki… Yuki is a pure bred GSD that we adopted from the GSD rescue. Tom loved shepherds, that when we decided to adopt a second dog, we felt very comfortable with the breed, especially since we have young children. We love Yuki and she is very protective of the children. She unfortunately did not pass her Good Canine Citizenship test the first time around—we had a little trouble with “Stay.” I had hoped to enroll her in a class this spring, and we are so sad not to get that opportunity to continue working with Tom both now and with future “four-legged” members of our family. Tom had a true gift and he will be missed by all who knew him and had the opportunity to see his amazing gifts working with both two and four-legged friends.

The Murphy family (Tim, Cheryl, Claire, Dani, Elsa and Yuki)

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Oh how blessed we have been in being a part of Tom’s last class. God ensured Tom shared his gift with us before he passed. Frasier was our new wild child, and I was exasperated in my efforts to control him. Frasier literally dragged Peter into the first class. Our classes were family outings. Our 4-year-old son Colin also witnessed Tom’s big heart and strong hand. Tom called us to rise in our inner power and not accept any sass. As I gained control of myself, Frasier grew in his respect for me. These are life lessons, not canine ones. Tom trained people more than dogs. With his powerful, yet soft presence, he taught us to be better people.

I believe Tom was a German shepherd incarnated in a human body. He was awe-inspiring, yet through his stability, drew people to him. Tom was a pack leader. Unfortunately, like our most beloved animals, he wasn’t intended to remain with us for our lifetime. Dogs shepherd us through life chapters…and only leave us when they trust we can carry forward without them. I believe Tom knew when it was his time to leave… trusting he gave us what we need to enter our next chapters without him. Yet, like our most beloved pets, Tom’s presence remains with us always. When Tom told us “Good job,” it was a real compliment…one that was genuine and not given without purpose. So to you, Tom, we say… good job.

Heather, Peter, Colin and Frasier Wuthrich

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I’ve known Tom only since I emailed him, desperately seeking help with our GSD pup. It was quite an upsetting time for me, as my husband had delivered an ultimatum of “it is either the dog or me.” Not fair, and not easy to deal with. I don’t just give up on animals! So, Tom advised me and listened to me and encouraged me and helped me get in touch with the GSD rescue folks, just in case my plan to take Tom's classes and work really hard failed to please my dear husband enough to let us give Gute (our puppy) a chance to grow up and become our BDE (best dog ever!). Gute and I showed up for the first class of Obedience and Intro to Agility. . . what a treat!!!! Tom’s way of calming the dogs and their people, his ability to turn chaos into joy, was exactly what we needed. We worked hard and Gute loved every second of it all. We are still working hard! In that first day of class I knew it was the place for us to be—Tom told us about the man who asked him why his dog wouldn't do his business outside even though he let him out regularly. Tom asked all the relevant questions and then said he could fix that. Just go out to the woods, break off a big stick, bring it back with you and then hit yourself over the head with it! The guy had never gone out with the dog to show him, explain to him, what going out was for. Duh. So the dog went out to play and came in to . . . well, you know. Laughter is a special gift that makes life better. Laughter—filled with compassion and caring, as Tom did things—could only make us all eager for the next class or pack walk. Tom crafted life so well with his own special touch. I could probably write a chapter of things (but I will spare you) that show just how much Tom loved the dogs and how much he wanted to teach the owners/handlers how to be what their dogs needed them to be. He did it quietly and gently and firmly and clearly. There were so many hilarious moments that made the class all fun for me and for Gute, and we were so looking forward to the next class he was planning to teach this January... I know, God needed him, and it is not my place to question that. I am so grateful for the time we had to get to know him and to learn from him. I trust that God’s plans for us all are so good, and so often remain a mystery to us until such time that He shows us His way. Tom knows the way!

We have all been so blessed by Tom's gifts and generous encouragements. By now I'd think that Tom is sitting back in heaven, sipping his coffee, hugging the angel dogs, and gently laughing through a huge smile—so happy to see all the dogs and all the people whose lives he improved and enriched.

Sally, Mike, and Gute Yearwood

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Nikki and I took our 10-week-old land shark (aka Ellie) to Tom because we were at our wits end with the constant needle-like teeth attacking our hands whenever we tried to touch her. We first entered the training enclave (fenced agility area) and Tom had us sit and just talked to us for about 15 minutes. He was getting a sense as to what we were like as owners and what we had done in trying to remedy the problem with our puppy. Significant insight was gained by this short conversation with Tom and we were given a significant amount of immediately insightful information. After talking, Tom took Ellie, walked for a moment, and wouldn't you know it, she started biting at him too. Tom calmly took our dog and gave her a correction that only someone exceptionally well versed in training would do. Following the correction, our puppy sat calmly and looked up at Tom almost as saying, “You’re alpha.” It was as if we were on an episode of the dog whisperer with the immediate results demonstrated. Nikki and I looked at each other with our mouths open in awe. Since that meeting in August, we continued to make Tom a part of our lives by signing up for two of his courses between then and December. To say they were helpful is an understatement— they were life changing. Tom didn't just teach us about discipline and obedience; he taught us how to love our dog Ellie in a way we didn’t know was possible. His insight into how dogs think and act was profound. I wish Tom could have appreciated the reaction Ellie had every time we hit the gravel drive of Bent Creek. She was so excited for every single class, and we were too.

Nikki, Derrick, and Ellie King

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Without Tom's help, our family might not still have our dog Marcus. Marcus is a big goofy yellow lab, and at nine months old, he was an unruly puppy in a giant dog body. He was getting more and more out of control, and we looked for help and found Tom. Tom figured out the problem right away—me. I am afraid of big dogs. Tom worked with both of us, at our home and also at the group training. On our first day at the training, we got out of the car and Marcus ran towards the other dogs, dragging me behind, disrupting the entire class. It was like a scene from Marley and Me! With patience and encouragement for both of us, Marcus eventually transitioned into a well behaved dog. Marcus did not pass the canine good citizen test, but to us, Marcus is the best and most lovable big dog in the world. Tom was a good man and we remain very grateful to him.

The Julius Family

I remember when Tom came to our house shortly after we got Jackson. Jackson jumped on Tom as he came through the door and Tom raised his knee a few times, which stopped Jackson from jumping. When Tom opened the door to see how Jackson would react, Tom looked down at Jackson and told him in a commanding voice that he was to sit and wait. Jackson melted and has been on the right road ever since. Years later Tom volunteered to come to our house and take our two dogs to the vets’ when I was recovering from surgery. Whenever I saw Tom in a store or at church, after an exchange of greetings, he would always ask, “And how is Mr. Jackson?” Tom loved canines and showed an interest in them and their owners far more than most people in the dog profession.

Kevin, Maria, and Jackson McMahon

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I first met Tom through my volunteer work with German Shepherd Rescue and Adoptions. He knew of the rescue through Carol, and wanted to contribute to helping both the foster and adopted GSDs succeed in their new life. I cannot tell you what a thrill it was to get THAT email! To have a professional trainer of Tom’s stature and expertise helping our dogs was an enormous opportunity and needless to say, I jumped at the chance to bring Tom into the fold of GSRA. Little did I know how much that email was going to change my life.

Shortly after starting my “professional” relationship with Tom and GSRA, I called on him for some personal help. Not with a GSD mind you, but rather with my wayward pit bull Floyd. Few people knew about Floyd, mainly because he was so wild and hardly a good reflection on someone who was running a rescue for GSDs! I am ashamed to say that it took Floyd biting multiple people before I finally broke down and admitted to Tom that I had a maniac at home. I told Tom that Floyd's main issue was his “protectiveness” of me. Tom didn't miss a beat! He asked, “Protectiveness, or possessiveness?” If ever there was a moment when a light bulb flashed over the top of my head, that would have been it! Duh!!!! How could I be so clueless??? Here I was, working day in and day out with a strong, intelligent breed of dog (the GSD), and yet at the same time, I had let this little furry meatball rule the roost and call all the shots! Let me tell you, Floyd and I were enrolled in the very next CGC class Tom offered.

I ended up taking Floyd through the CGC class twice—and much to my (but not Tom’s) amazement, he passed both times. I then took him through the advanced obedience class, and while the results from that were a little “iffy” (I recall one moment in particular when all dogs were in a “down stay” and we were 30ft away. Floyd decided he had had enough and started to roll around on his back and in fact rolled down the line of dogs, who were still in their perfect down stay!), Floyd still did amazingly well. Because of all the work I did with Floyd under the tutelage of Tom, Floyd is now a perfect gentleman when in public AND when we have people over at the house. People comment all the time about what an incredibly sweet and well-behaved dog Floyd is and I am very quick to tell them that it is all because of a wonderful trainer who believed in Floyd and had the skill and gift of training humans. Because that’s

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really what set Tom apart from all the other trainers I know: Tom understood dogs and he was able to teach humans.

Sadly, I don’t think I ever fully appreciated how big an influence Tom was on me until after he was gone. The void he has left behind is tremendous—enough to make me wonder about how someone I met just a little over 18 months ago could make such an indelible print on my heart? The answer though is pretty simple. Tom lived and breathed the language of dogs. He was as passionate about them as I am. He wanted to help them as much as I do. He saw the potential in all of them like I do. This is not to say that I am in ANY way close to as accomplished as Tom was with dogs, but he was someone I admired and respected greatly. Tom was who I wanted to be when I grew up. ☺

I dedicate my work with GSDs, and dogs in general, to Tom—the greatest teacher and one of the kindest men I have ever known.

P.S. A note about the picture I chose to include: This is a picture of Floyd in a beer tent at the Marine Corps Half Marathon in Fredricksburg, VA. The significance is twofold: First, this event attracted over 8,000 participants and Floyd walked through them all with poise and obedience—a feat that could NEVER have been achieved without Tom’s training (of us both!). Second, it pays homage to Tom’s love of beer—which Floyd shared with him. Cheers, Uncle Tom!

Andrea and Floyd Portbury

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We were only fortunate enough to know Tom for a short time, but in that short time he touched our lives in a very special way. Long before we even began our class with Tom, he was helping us with our new puppy, our first Anatolian Shepherd Dog, with advice given over the phone. He was already willing to lend a hand with the unique behavior issues she had presented us, expecting nothing in return. We had serious concerns about our new family member, and after just one session with Tom our concerns turned to confidence, hope and excitement for the future. We quickly decided that we really liked him and wanted to train with him as long as possible. The more we got to know him the more certain we were of this. Tom’s quiet manner, wry sense of humor, practical and yet special way with dogs, moved us to want to get to know him better. We looked forward to attending all of his classes with our Annie, and working with him every opportunity that was available for a long time to come. Through Tom we met a new circle of friends, and our lives have been opened in a new direction. Having known him has enriched our lives in so many ways. When we heard of his loss, we were saddened in a way we cannot put into words. We feel as though we have lost a mentor. The Tom we knew was kind, considerate, thoughtful, gentle yet firm, loving toward his animals, and strongly rooted in his convictions. He spoke of his family and his grandchildren every week, and his love for them was clear to all of us. Our whole family will miss him greatly. Even our ten year old daughter, who only came to a class or two, has said “I didn’t know him well, but I really liked him.” We were able to attend his Therapy Dog Certification and final pack walk and get to know him just a little better, and for that we are very grateful. We are blessed to have had Tom in our lives. While we were only fortunate enough to know Tom for a short time, we were very fortunate to have known Tom for a short time.

Ken, Toni, Laura, and Annie Rexrode

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Looking back, we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into when we decided to get a German Shepherd puppy. Luckily we found Tom, who did. Tom started helping us prepare for Banks before we even picked him up because as he said he “wanted the breed to succeed in every way.” He taught us the importance of socializing Banks and would often share cautionary tales of poorly socialized German shepherds. When Banks turned 16 weeks we had the honor of working with Tom to help Banks become a canine good citizen. While the label itself was truly a misnomer for our rowdy 6-month-old pup, the solid foundation of obedience training and socialization helped make our now grown Banks the best friend we could ask for. Tom always welcomed our “real dog” with open arms and his love for Banks, and all dogs, will never be forgotten. Tom once said to us “you will never regret being blessed with a German Shepherd Dog.” He was right, and we will always be so thankful we were blessed by knowing Tom.

Amy, Jay, and Banks Mackie

Gage was a pup of about 10 months old, a big pup (about 50-60 lbs) but a pup no less. We were just walking around with the group of owners and dogs while Tom observed. All of a sudden out of nowhere, with no commotion or warning, another dog from the group randomly attacked Gage. Tom quickly broke it up and neither dog was injured. Tom advised the owner of the attack dog that he could not pass his dog on the upcoming test because of this incident, but that he could continue to train as long as no other incidents occurred. I am not sure why, but I felt sure that no other attacks would happen. The point is that Tom was so confident in his abilities with animals that it gave me confidence to continue, although the attack was more traumatic for me than for Gage. We have truly lost a great man who had a rare ability with animals, as well as with their owners. Thanks Tom, you will be missed greatly.

Tim, Angela, and Gage Matthews

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Tom was my first friend in North Carolina. Shortly after Labor Day, 2011, after relocating to Durham from NYC and acquiring a GSD puppy, I too joined the ranks of the many devoted fans of Tom Steinbacher, dog trainer extraordinaire. Although my Milo had health issues, he and I managed to complete Tom’s basic obedience class followed by the Canine Good Citizenship class. Milo even passed his Canine Good Citizenship test! Being Tom’s students, he allowed Milo and I to use his dog park which we did on almost a daily weekday basis for several months. I enjoyed going there as much for having the time to hang out with Tom and chat about dogs and life. When Milo unexpectedly crossed the rainbow bridge a few days before this past Thanksgiving, I immediately called Tom since I knew he would understand how badly I felt, and he did. He was incredibly generous that way. On a recent pack walk, which we will all fondly remember as our last physical walk with Tom, I brought my new GSD rescue pup, Cody. As we stood waiting for dogs and folks to arrive Tom said to me, “that’s a really good-looking dog.” I’ve been applying all my knowledge and skills I learned from Tom to train Cody to become as well-behaved as good-looking. I write this a few hours after attending Tom’s memorial service. And now, Cody, and I are heading over to the Duke East Campus, where the pack walks took place, to take a spiritual walk with Tom. Susan, Milo, and Cody Heske

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I am so happy that my dog Wolfie and I had a chance to work with Tom this past summer. Although we had adopted Wolfie through GSRA in August of 2011, we are only part-time residents of North Carolina and were unable to begin work with him until July of 2012. Tom was recommended by EVERYBODY and I was so excited to get a chance to work with him and to get new ideas about working with Wolfie, who had struggled with many issues since his adoption. Tom was gracious enough to communicate with me via e-mail before he even met us in person, and it was with excitement and nervousness that we drove to our first appointment.

You have to understand, by this point Wolfie had done everything from breaking out of three different gorilla crates, to constantly terrorizing our cats, to giving me a concussion, to expressing severe anxiety issues, etc., etc., etc. I had been working hard to train Wolfie but did not know what to expect from Tom or what he would expect from us. Although Tom was right in the middle of some grueling medical treatments, he welcomed us graciously. We chatted on a back bench while Wolfie happily explored the new ‘doggy heaven’ of Tom’s dog park. Tom asked me about our many challenges and I shared with him my ultimate dream, which was to do therapy dog work. Then, after about 15 minutes Tom said, “OK, show me what you two can do.” Gulp. Then, for what was possibly the first time in his life, W did everything perfectly; sit, down, stay, come, shake, wait. The little bugger proved me wrong about all of his well-described misbehaviors! I’ll never forget the moment when Tom smiled gently, shook my hand, and said “I see no reason why Wolfie won’t be a wonderful therapy dog. We can have him ready for the test by the end of the summer.”

And so we did. Today Wolfie goes out often—to nursing homes, adult resource centers, and hospice. Every time we do I think of Tom and thank him in my heart for showing us the way and giving us the skills to do this. We will dedicate ourselves to this work in his memory. I hope we make him proud. RIP dear man.

Susan and Wolfie Eischeid

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I’d taken Cosmo to the vet for her initial puppy check-up and picked up two dog trainer brochures, one of them being Tom’s. I picked Tom’s brochure first due to the pictures of Tillie and Rudy. I called him the next morning and once I told him we had a long-haired German shepherd (dog) puppy, Tom wasted no time scheduling an appointment for that same afternoon. Tom arrived about 30 minutes ahead of time. We invited him in and of course Cosmo came bouncing at him, (she was only 8 weeks old) and he immediately corrected her and put her in her place. Our next correction was when Tom saw all the toys laying around the house and told us that there should only be two down at the most (for the entire house). Once in the living room, Tom was taken with our home-made agility course throughout the living room, including raised walks, ramps up the couch, and a large cardboard tube (16” sono tube) tunnel coming off the couch. After Cosmo demonstrated the course, Tom ended up staying 3 hours. Tom told the story of the agility course several times during classes. I would say that he must have thought I was crazy, but he would say, anybody that was that dedicated to their dog was alright with him. We quickly became good friends with Tom and Casey. Not a day went by that I wasn’t thankful that I called Tom and not the other trainer. Once Cosmo was about 4 months old, we enrolled her in her first class, beginner obedience and agility. During the first class, Tom would have us introduce ourselves. When it was my turn and I said I’m Everett, and this is Cosmo. Tom looked at me and ask who that was standing next to me. Oh, yes, this is Teresa. Tom just shook his head and said “I’m going to have to have a long talk with that boy.” Friends of ours had bought a black lab puppy that they need a lot of help with, so Teresa and I gave them a gift certificate for a home visit with Tom. When I gave our friends the certificate, I told them the story about Tom (joking?) thinking that German shepherds were the only “real” dogs. So when Tom went for the home visit, she had all

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three of her dogs lined up and told Tom, this is what we have to work with, sorry they are not real dogs. Tom’s reply was “Bacon!” I’m sure with a shaking head and a big smile. In the short time we knew Tom, he made a big impact on our lives in being a great friend and helping us raise what we think is a great dog. We will miss him for a very long time. Everett, Teresa and Cosmo Bacon

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We first found out about Tom from the Obey and Protect business card at North Paw Animal Hospital. With a recent high-energy addition to our family, we knew we’d need some help in figuring out how to deal with Koa. In his CGC class, Koa was the one chasing imaginary butterflies, whining that he was bored, chewing on trees, and reluctantly doing his obedience drills. During one class Tom had gone on a tangent about the apparent lack of intelligence in some of the designer breeds. So a little frustrated by Koa’s lack of focus, I talked to Tom and said “now I realize Koa isn’t the brightest of the group, but please tell me he’s smarter than a cockapoo?!” In pure Tom fashion, he just rolled his eyes at me and told me to go away. Koa proved us wrong, passed his CGC class, and did great in the advanced obedience class. Tom was particularly fond of the way Koa crossed his front legs when laying down, so very proper!

One day after Koa went for a deer-chasing adventure in the woods and came back with a badly cut paw. I sent Tom the pathetic picture below, telling him that as far as Koa had come in his training, Koa’s recall still goes out the window when deer are involved. Tom’s response: “Well hopefully he’s not hurt too badly, but it’s still funny. But what is he on your bed?!”

While Koa can still be a little spazzy, Tom helped us make him a great member of our menagerie. We see Tom in our dogs every day and are so thankful he taught us the lessons we need to continue to improve as dog parents.

Once we found Tom for Koa’s CGC class, we realized Tom also certified therapy dogs. It had always been my dream to have a therapy dog and Eno, who we’d had for a year, had the ideal demeanor. So we signed up for a test prep class and found out Eno was wary of walkers. So Tom gave us a walker to take home and put around his food bowl to help desensitize him. Of course it worked wonders and Eno passed his test with

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flying colors—although I think Tom just about threatened to fail me for being so nervous! Once again, Tom proving his point that it’s the handler that needs the training, not the dog! It was always apparent that he sincerely wanted every dog to succeed.

After Eno became a therapy dog, I was a little unsure about visiting Hillcrest Convalescent Center for the first time, so Tom invited me to come along with he and Rudy for one of their weekly visits. He introduced me to everyone he knew there and showed me the ins and outs of visiting with a dog. One man in particular especially loved Tom’s and Rudy’s visits—Mr. Peele. Mr. Peele can’t talk and can’t really move, but his eyes absolutely lit up when Tom and Rudy walked in. Tom told me that he sometimes spends an hour just letting Mr. Peele hold the leash. If I hadn’t gone with Tom that day, I never would have known how much a visit means to Mr. Peele. Eno and I now visit him every week and he has become very special to us, even though we’ve never exchanged a word. At every visit, I think of my coaching session there with Tom and Rudy and the happiness they brought for so long to the residents at Hillcrest. It was so special and memorable to see that pair in action!

Below is a picture that Tom took of Eno at one of our advanced obedience classes at Duke East Campus. It’s one of our favorite pictures of him.

Lori Davis and Jay Wheeler, with Koa and Eno

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In November 2011, a vehicle marked “Obey and Protect” pulled into our driveway and a tall, dark haired fellow got out of the truck and strode confidently up to our front door. We didn’t know it yet, but we were about to meet a great guy, who ABSOLUTELY loved dogs and was always ready, willing, and able to help everybody in any way that he could.

After 34 years of having a multiple-dog menagerie, populated by rescue and misfit dogs dragged home by our five kids, we thought that we were pretty competent “dog people”…. and then we got Geoffrey. Geoffrey, our 100 pound German shepherd (or German Shepherd Dog, as Tom would insist), was adopted from the German Shepherd Rescue and Adoptions. Initially submissive, as he settled into our household Geoffrey became more and more aggressive toward people and other dogs. Neighbors, my business partner, and even our kids and grandkids refused to come to our house. After spending a great deal of money with another trainer, Geoffrey was getting worse and, at our wits end, we called Tom, who was highly recommended by our rescue friends.

As Tom approached our front door, Geoffrey watched. As soon as eye contact was made, it was clear that Geoffrey had decided that Tom needed to stay outside. Tom, of course, came right on in the house, totally ignoring Geoffrey’s antics, and after just a few minutes, said “Hand me his leash.” As I released the leash, Geoffrey wheeled around “to take a piece” out of Tom and visions of our homeowner’s insurance dog-bite protection clause flashed through my mind, but Tom was ready for him. Within five minutes, Tom had Geoffrey flawlessly heeling and sitting out in our yard, to the amazement of all of the neighbors, who were secretly peeping out from behind drawn curtains, waiting to see if the new trainer could handle “the Beast.” (Tom and his impressive handling of Geoffrey was actually the talk of the neighborhood for a couple of weeks after his visit.)

And so began our friendship with Tom. During the four classes that we took with Tom and our involvement with the German shepherd rescue, we came to know a guy who was amazing in his ability to read and understand a dog. While he sometimes didn’t “suffer fools gladly” when it came to people, he was always patient when it came to anything with four legs. He would take a class of 10 barking, snarling dogs and embarrassed owners and, in six weeks, turn them into a cohesive, well behaved dog pack with confident handlers without the class participants even knowing how it had happened.

Sharing his love of dogs was important for Tom. We watched him give his knowledge, his time, and his genuine compassion at every opportunity, not only with us and our

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misfit pack, but through his work with the GSD rescue and the Therapy Dog program, a cause that was “near and dear” to his heart. He was always there to answer any dog or training question that arose or help with a difficult issue and, even after he got sick, he was looking at volunteering to train service dogs for returning veterans, in addition to the work that he was already doing.

During our most recent class, Tom said to us, “You don’t need to be here. You already know all of this”, but that was not true. We learned something new every time that we were with Tom. He showed us so much that applies to more than dog training—including how to lead and teach by example, that consistency and repetition are the keys to success, to accept everybody where they are and go from there, that quietly giving back is one of the most important things that you can do, and that you should do what you truly love to do. We will miss his sarcastic sense of humor, his caring, his kindness, and, most of all, the way that he embraced life. His passing has left an empty space in the dog community and in our personal lives. We feel truly blessed to have known Tom Steinbacher and we will miss him so very much.

Lynn and Tom Cowen, with Geoffrey, Heidi, and Joe

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I met Tom at a pack walk I attended as one of the early organizational meetings of Bull City Shepherds. I’d never participated in any kind of organized dog activity or training and had no idea of what to expect. In my mind I had a vision of tromping through open fields with 30 well-behaved German shepherds all off leash and minding their owners, and I was worried that my own boy—a white shepherd named Max—would embarrass me by behaving badly. Of course, anyone who has been on an actual pack walk will know how ridiculous this vision was. ☺ Nonetheless, it’s the one I had in my mind. I was already feeling like a bit of a poser because Max was not a classic black and tan GSD, I had no papers on him (he’s a rescue), and he’s not the “manliest” of German shepherds—instead being a bit of a mama’s boy. So with these trepidations I showed up at Tom’s dog park to meet the group, and soon began to feel better about things. To begin with, Tom was gracious and welcoming, and assured me that the walk would be on-leash. Secondly, I soon became confident that Max’s behavior wasn’t going to be the issue in this particular group of dogs. Oh yes, it was clear that Tom had his work cut out for him if he was going to meld THIS group into the ambassadors for the breed that he envisioned. ☺ After a few introductions we set off on the walk. About half

way through, Tom approached me and asked whether I had ever considered doing therapy work with Max, as he seemed to have a great disposition for it. Well I was thrilled beyond words to hear this! First that Tom had noticed Max’s wonderful disposition so quickly, and also because I had been wanting to do therapy work with Max for quite awhile but had no idea how to go about it. Imagine my surprise to learn that Tom was an evaluator for Therapy Dogs International and had a test prep class starting in just a few weeks! I got busy mastering some basic obedience with Max, and he passed the test with flying colors.

That serendipitous first meeting with Tom has led to one of the richest friendships of my life. I now have not one but two certified therapy dogs, both of whom have made me proud in Tom’s advanced obedience classes. More importantly, I’ve grown greatly in my own dog-handling abilities from watching Tom in action over the past several years. He’s always been there to offer advice or lend a hand, whether it was with my own dogs or a succession of foster dogs.

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This first difficult week after Tom’s unexpected passing finds me with a challenging new foster dog in my home. As we work on the very basics together, I hear Tom’s voice in my head, counseling the benefit of well-timed praise over treats. “Good sit, Omar! That’s the boy, good sit.” And so we begin to make progress. Good teacher, Tom. Good teacher, and good friend.

Carol, Max, and Chester Schumann