tolstoi - father sergius.doc
TRANSCRIPT
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Father Sergius
by Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy
Published in 1898
Translated by Louise and Aylmer Maude
istributed by The Tolstoy Library
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(n Petersburg in the 18)*s a sur!rising event
occurred$ An o++icer o+ the ,uirassier Li+e -uards. a
handsome !rince /ho everyone !redicted /ould become aide&
de&cam! to the 0m!eror Nicholas ( and have a brilliant
career. le+t the service. broke o++ his engagement to a
beauti+ul maid o+ honour. a +avourite o+ the 0m!ress s.
gave his small estate to his sister. and retired to a
monastery to become a monk$
This event a!!eared e2traordinary and ine2!licable
to those /ho did not kno/ his inner motives. but +or
Prince Ste!an 3asatsky himsel+ it all occurred so
naturally that he could not imagine ho/ he could have
acted other/ise$
4is +ather. a retired colonel o+ the -uards. had
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died /hen Ste!an /as t/elve. and sorry as his mother /as
to !art +rom her son. she entered him at the Military
,ollege as her deceased husband had intended$
The /ido/ hersel+. /ith her daughter 5arvara. moved
to Petersburg to be near her son and have him /ith her
+or the holidays$
The boy /as distinguished both by his brilliant
ability and by his immense sel+&esteem$ 4e /as +irst
both in his studies && es!ecially in mathematics. o+
/hich he /as !articularly +ond && and also in drill and
in riding$ Thought o+ more than average height. he /as
handsome and agile. and he /ould have been an altogether
e2em!lary cadet had it not been +or his 6uick tem!er$ 4e
/as remarkably truth+ul. and neither dissi!ated nor
addicted to drink$ The only +aults that marred his
conduct /ere +its o+ +ury to /hich he /as sub7ect and
during /hich he lost control o+ himsel+ and became like
a /ild animal$ 4e once nearly thre/ out o+ the /indo/
another cadet /ho had begun to tease him about his
collection o+ minerals$ n another occasion he came
almost com!letely to grie+ by +linging a /hole dish o+
cutlets at an o++icer /ho /as acting as ste/ard.
attacking him and. it /as said. striking him +or having
broken his /ord and told a bare+aced lie$ 4e /ould
certainly have been reduced to the ranks had not the
irector o+ the ,ollege hushed u! the /hole matter and
dismissed the ste/ard$
y the time he /as eighteen he had +inished his
,ollege course and received a commission as lieutenant in
an aristocratic regiment o+ the -uards$
The 0m!eror Nicholas Pavlovich :Nicholas ;< had
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noticed him /hile he /as still at the ,ollege. and
continued to take notice o+ him in the regiment. and it
/as on this account that !eo!le !redicted +or him an
a!!ointment as aide&de&cam! to the 0m!eror$ 3asatsky
himsel+ strongly desired it. not +rom ambition only but
chie+ly because since his cadet days he had been
!assionately devoted to Nicholas Pavlovich$ The 0m!eror
had o+ten visited the Military ,ollege and every time
3asatsky sa/ that tall erect +igure. /ith breast e2!anded
in its military overcoat. entering /ith brisk ste!. sa/
the cro!!ed side&/hiskers. the moustache. the a6uiline
nose. and heard the sonorous voice e2changing greetings
/ith the cadets. he /as sei=ed by the same ra!ture that
he e2!erienced later on /hen he met the /oman he loved$
(ndeed. his !assionate adoration o+ the 0m!eror /as even
stronger" he /ished to sacri+ice something &&
everything. even himsel+ && to !rove his com!lete
devotion$ And the 0m!eror Nicholas /as conscious o+
evoking this ra!ture and deliberately aroused it$ 4e
!layed /ith the cadets. surrounded himsel+ /ith them.
treating them sometimes /ith childish sim!licity.
sometimes as a +riend. and then again /ith ma7estic
solemnity$ A+ter that a++air /ith the o++icer. Nicholas
Pavlovich said nothing to 3asatsky. but /hen the latter
a!!roached he /aved him a/ay theatrically. +ro/ned. shook
his +inger. and a+ter/ards /hen leaving said" >?emember
that ( kno/ everything$ There are some things ( /ould
rather not kno/. but they remain here.> and he !ointed to
his heart$
@hen on leaving college the cadets /ere received by
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the 0m!eror. he did not again re+er to 3asatsky s
o++ence. but told them all. as /as his custom that they
should serve him and the +atherland loyally. that he
/ould al/ays be their best +riend. and that /hen
necessary they might a!!roach him direct$ All the cadets
/ere as usual greatly moved. and 3asatsky even shed
tears. remembering the !ast. and vo/ed that he /ould
serve his beloved Tsar /ith all his soul$
@hen 3asatsky took u! his commission his mother
moved /ith her daughter +irst to Mosco/ then to their
country estate$ 3asatsky gave hal+ his !ro!erty to his
sister and ke!t only enough to maintain himsel+ in the
e2!ensive regiment he had 7oined$
To all a!!earance he /as 7ust an ordinary. brilliant
young o++icer o+ the -uards making a career +or himsel+
but intense and com!le2 strivings /ent on /ithin him$
From early childhood his e++orts had seemed to be very
varied. but essentially they /ere all one and the same$
4e tried in everything he took u! to attain such success
and !er+ection as /ould evoke !raise and sur!rise$
@hether it /as his studies or his military e2ercises. he
took them u! and /orked at them till he /as !raised and
held u! as an e2am!le to others$ Mastering one sub7ect
he took u! another. and obtained +irst !lace in his
studies$ For e2am!le. /hile still at ,ollege he noticed
in himsel+ an a/k/ardness in French conversation. and
contrived to master French till he s!oke it as /ell as
?ussian. and then he took u! chess and became an
e2cellent !layer$
A!art +rom his main vocation. /hich /as the service
o+ his Tsar and the +atherland. he al/ays set himsel+
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some !articular aim. and ho/ever unim!ortant it /as.
devoted himsel+ com!letely to it and lived +or it until
it /as accom!lished$
And as soon as it /as attained another aim /ould
immediately !resent itsel+. re!lacing its !redecessor$
this !assion +or distinguishing himsel+. or +or
accom!lishing something in order to distinguish himsel+.
+illed his li+e$ n taking u! his commission he set
himsel+ to ac6uire the utmost !er+ection in kno/ledge o+
the service. and very soon became a model o++icer. though
still /ith the same +ault o+ ungovernable irascibility.
/hich here in the service again led him to commit actions
inimical to his success$ Then he took to reading. having
once in conversation in society +elt himsel+ de+icient in
general education && and again achieved his !ur!ose$
Then. /ishing to secure a brilliant !osition in high
society. he learnt to dance e2cellently and very soon /as
invited to all the balls in the best circles. and to some
o+ their evening gatherings$ ut this did not satis+y
him" he /as accustomed to being +irst. and in this
society /as +ar +rom being so$
The highest society then consisted. and ( think
al/ays and every/here does consist. o+ +our sorts o+
!eo!le" rich !eo!le /ho are received at ,ourt. !eo!le
not /ealthy but born and brought u! in ,ourt circles.
rich !eo!le /ho ingratiate themselves into the ,ourt set.
and !eo!le neither rich nor belonging to the ,ourt but
/ho ingratiate themselves into the +irst and second sets$
3asatsky did not belong to the +irst t/o sets. but
/as readily /elcomed in the others$ n entering society
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he determined to have relations /ith some society lady.
and to his o/n sur!rise 6uickly accom!lished this
!ur!ose$ 4e soon reali=ed. ho/ever. that the circles in
/hich he moved /ere not the highest. and that though he
/as received in the highest s!heres he did not belong to
them$ They /ere !olite to him. but sho/ed by their /hole
manner that they had their o/n set and that he /as not o+
it$ And 3asatsky /ished to belong to that inner circle$
To attain that end it /ould be necessary to be an aide&
de&cam! to the 0m!eror && /hich he e2!ected to become &&
or to marry into that e2clusive set. /hich he resolved to
do$ And his choice +ell on a beauty belonging to the
,ourt. /ho not merely belonged to the circle into /hich
he /ished to be acce!ted. but /hose +riendshi! /as
coveted by the very highest !eo!le and those most +irmly
established in that highest circle$ this /as ,ountess
3orotkova$ 3asatsky began to !ay court to her. and not
merely +or the sake o+ his career$ She /as e2tremely
attractive and he soon +ell in love /ith her$ At +irst
she /as noticeably cool to/ards him. but then suddenly
changed and became gracious. and her mother gave him
!ressing invitations to visit them$ 3asatsky !ro!osed
and /as acce!ted$ 4e /as sur!rised at the +acility /ith
/hich he attained such ha!!iness$ ut though he noticed
something strange and unusual in the behaviour to/ards
him o+ both mother and daughter. he /as blinded by being
so dee!ly in love. and did not reali=e /hat almost the
/hole to/n kne/ && namely. that his +iancee had been the
em!eror Nicholas s mistress the !revious year$
T/o /eeks be+ore the day arranged +or the /edding.
3asatsky /as at Tsarskoe Selo at his +iancee s country
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!lace$ (t /as a hot day in May$ 4e and his betrothed
had /alked about the garden and /ere sitting on a bench
in a shady linden alley$ Mary s /hite muslin dress
suited her !articularly /ell. and she seemed the
!ersoni+ication o+ innocence and love as she sat. no/
bending her head. no/ ga=ing u! at the very tall and
handsome man /ho /as s!eaking to her /ith !articular
tenderness and sel+&restraint. as i+ he +eared by /ord or
gesture to o++end or sully her angelic !urity$
3asatsky belonged to those men o+ the eighteen&
+orties :they are no/ no longer to be +ound< /ho /hile
deliberately and /ithout any conscientious scru!les
condoning im!urity in themselves. re6uired ideal and
angelic !urity in their /omen. regarded all unmarried
/omen o+ their circle as !ossessed o+ such !urity. and
treated them accordingly$ There /as much that /as +alse
and harm+ul in this outlook. as concerning the la2ity the
men !ermitted themselves. but in regard to the /omen that
old&+ashioned vie/ :shar!ly di++ering +rom that held by
young !eo!le today /ho see in every girl merely a +emale
seeking a mate< /as. ( think. o+ value$ The girl.
!erceiving such adoration. endeavoured /ith more or less
success to be goddesses$
Such /as the vie/ 3asatsky held o+ /omen. and that
/as ho/ he regarded his +iancee$ 4e /as !articularly in
love that day. but did not e2!erience any sensual desire
+or her$ n the contrary he regarded her /ith tender
adoration as something unattainable$
4e rose to his +ull height. standing be+ore her /ith
both hands on his sabre$
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>( have only no/ reali=ed /hat ha!!iness a man can
e2!erienceB And it is you. my darling. /ho have given me
this ha!!iness.> he said /ith a timid smile$
0ndearments had not yet become usual bet/een them.
and +eeling himsel+ morally in+erior he +elt terri+ied at
this stage to use them to such an angel$
>(t is thanks to you that ( have come to kno/
mysel+$ ( have learnt that ( am better than ( thought$>
>( have kno/n that +or a long time$ That is /hy (
began to love you$>
Nightingales trilled near by and the +resh lea+age
rustled. moved by a !assing bree=e$
4e took her hand and kissed it. and tears came into
his eyes$
She understood that he /as thanking her +or having
said she loved him$ 4e silently took a +e/ ste!s u! and
do/n. and then a!!roacher her again and sat do/n$
>Cou kno/$$$( have to tell you$$$( /as not
disinterested /hen ( began to make love to you$ ( /anted
to get into society but later$$$ho/ unim!ortant that
became in com!arison /ith you && /hen ( got to kno/ you$
Cou are not angry /ith me +or thatD>
She did not re!ly but merely touched his hand$ 4e
understood that this meant" >No. ( am not angry$>
>Cou said$$$> 4e hesitated$ (t seemed too bold to
say$ >Cou said that you began to love me$ ( believe it
&& but there is something that troubles you and checks
your +eeling$ @hat is itD>
>Ces && no/ or neverB> thought she$ >4e is bound to
kno/ o+ it any/ay$ ut no/ he /ill not +orsake me$ Ah.
i+ he should. it /ould be terribleB> And she thre/ a
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loving glance at his tall. noble. !o/er+ul +igure$ She
loved him no/ more than she had loved the Tsar. and a!art
+rom the (m!erial dignity /ould not have !re+erred the
0m!eror to him$
>ListenB ( cannot deceive you$ ( have to tell you$
Cou ask /hat it isD (t is that ( have loved be+ore$>
She again laid her hand on his /ith an im!loring
gesture$ 4e /as silent$
>Cou /ant to kno/ /ho it /asD (t /as && the
0m!eror$>
>@e all love him$ ( can imagine you. a schoolgirl
at the (nstitute$$$>
>No. it /as later$ ( /as in+atuated. but it
!assed$$$ ( must tell you$$$>
>@ell. /hat o+ itD>
>No. it /as not sim!ly && > She covered her +ace
/ith her hands$
>@hatD Cou gave yoursel+ to himD>
She /as silent$
>4is mistressD>
She did not ans/er$
4e s!rang u! and stood be+ore her /ith trembling
7a/s. !ale as death$ 4e no/ remembered ho/ the 0m!eror.
meeting him on the Nevsky. had amiably congratulated him$
> -od. /hat have ( doneB StivaB>
> on t touch meB on t touch meB h. ho/ it
!ainsB>
4e turned a/ay and /ent to the house$ There he met
her mother$
>@hat is the matter. PrinceD ( $$$ > She became
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silent on seeing his +ace$ The blood had suddenly rushed
to his head$
>Cou kne/ it. and used me to shield themB (+ you
/eren t a /oman$$$B> he cried. li+ting his enormous +ist.
and turning aside he ran a/ay$
4ad his +iancee s lover been a !rivate !erson he
/ould have killed him. but it /as his beloved Tsar$
Ne2t day he a!!lied both +or +urlough and his
discharge. and !ro+essing to be ill. so as to see no one.
he /ent a/ay to the country$
4e s!ent the summer at his village arranging his
a++airs$ @hen summer /as over he did not return to
Petersburg. but entered a monastery and there became a
monk$
4is mother /rote to try to dissuade him +rom this
decisive ste!. but he re!lied that he +elt -od s call
/hich transcended all other considerations$ nly his
sister. /ho /as as !roud and ambitious as he. understood
him$
She understood that he had become a monk in order to
be above those /ho considered themselves his su!erior$
And she understood him correctly$ y becoming a monk he
sho/ed contem!t +or all that seemed most im!ortant to
others and had seemed so to him /hile he /as in the
service. and he no/ ascended a height +rom /hich he could
look do/n on those he had +ormerly envied$$$$ ut it /as
not this alone. as his sister 5arvara su!!osed. that
in+luenced him$ There /as also in him something else &&
a sincere religious +eeling /hich 5arvara did not kno/.
/hich intert/ined itsel+ /ith the +eeling o+ !ride and
the desire +or !re&eminence. and guided him$ 4is
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disillusionment /ith Mary. /hom he had thought o+ angelic
!urity. and his sense o+ in7ury. /ere so strong that they
brought him to des!air. and the des!air led him && to
/hatD To -od. to his childhood s +aith /hich had never
been destroyed in him$
((
3asatsky entered the monastery on the +east o+ the
(ntercession o+ the lessed 5irgin$ The Abbot o+ that
monastery /as a gentleman by birth. a learned /riter and
a ;starets;. that is. he belonged to that succession o+
monks originating in @alachia /ho each choose a director
and teacher /hom they im!licitly obey$ This su!erior had
been a disci!le o+ the ;starets; Ambrose. /ho /as a
disci!le o+ Makarius. /ho /as a disci!le o+ the ;starets;
Leonid. /ho /as a disci!le o+ Paissy 5elichkovsky$
To this Abbot 3asatsky submitted himsel+ as to his
chosen director$ 4ere in the monastery. besides the
+eeling o+ ascendancy over others that such a li+e gave
him. he +elt much as he had done in the /orld" he +ound
satis+action in attaining the greatest !ossible
!er+ection out/ardly as /ell as in/ardly$ As in the
regiment he had been not merely an irre!roachable o++icer
but had even e2ceeded his duties and /idened the borders
o+ !er+ection. so also as a monk he tried to be !er+ect.
and /as al/ays industrious. abstemious. submissive. and
meek. as /ell as !ure both in deed and in thought. and
obedient$ This last 6uality in !articular made li+e +ar
easier +or him$ (+ many o+ the demands o+ li+e in the
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monastery. /hich /as near the ca!ital and much
+re6uented. did not !lease him and /ere tem!tations to
him. they /ere all nulli+ied by obedience" >(t is not
+or me to reason my business is to do the task set me.
/hether it be standing beside the relics. singing in the
choir. or making u! accounts in the monastery guest&
house$> All !ossibility o+ doubt about anything /as
silenced by obedience to the ;starets;$ 4ad it not been
+or this. he /ould have been o!!ressed by the length and
monotony o+ the church services. the bustle o+ the many
visitors. and the bad 6ualities o+ the other monks$ As
it /as. he not only bore it all 7oy+ully but +ound in it
solace and su!!ort$ >( don t kno/ /hy it is necessary to
hear the same !rayers several times a day. but ( kno/
that it is necessary and kno/ing this ( +ind 7oy in
them$> 4is director told him that as material +ood is
necessary +or the maintenance o+ the li+e o+ the body. so
s!iritual +ood && the church !rayers && is necessary +or
the maintenance o+ the s!iritual li+e$ 4e believed this.
and though the church services. +or /hich he had to get
u! early in the morning. /ere a di++iculty. they
certainly calmed him and gave him 7oy$ this /as the
result o+ his consciousness o+ humility. and the
certainty that /hatever he had to do. being +i2ed by the
;starets;. /as right$
The interest o+ his li+e consisted not only in an
ever greater and greater sub7ugation o+ his /ill. but in
the attainment o+ all the ,hristian virtues. /hich at
+irst seemed to him easily attainable$ 4e had given his
/hole estate to his sister and did not regret it. he had
no !ersonal claims. humility to/ards his in+eriors /as
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not merely easy +or him but a++orded him !leasure$ 0ven
victory over the sins o+ the +lesh. greed and lust. /as
easily attained$ 4is director had s!ecially /arned him
against the latter sit. but 3asatsky +elt +ree +rom it
and /as glad$
ne thing only tormented him && the remembrance o+
his +iancee and not merely the remembrance but the vivid
image o+ /hat might have been$ (nvoluntarily he recalled
a lady he kne/ /ho had been a +avourite o+ the 0m!eror s.
but had a+ter/ards married and become an admirable /i+e
and mother$ The husband had a high !osition. in+luence
and honour. and a good and !enitent /i+e$
(n his better hours 3asatsky /as not disturbed by
such thoughts. and /hen he recalled them at such times he
/as merely glad to +eel that the tem!tation /as !ast$
ut there /ere moments /hen all that made u! his !resent
li+e suddenly gre/ dim be+ore him. moments /hen. i+ he
did not cease to believe in the aims he had set himsel+.
he ceased to see them and could evoke no con+idence in
them but /as sei=ed by a remembrance o+. and && terrible
to say && a regret +or. the change o+ li+e he had made$
The only thing that saved him in that state o+ mind
/as obedience and /ork. and the +act that the /hole day
/as occu!ied by !rayer$ 4e /ent through the usual +orms
o+ !rayer. he bo/ed in !rayer. he even !rayed more than
usual. but it /as li!&service only and his soul /as not
in it$ This condition /ould continue +or a day. or
sometimes +or t/o days. and /ould then !ass o+ itsel+$
ut those days /ere dread+ul$ 3asatsky +elt that he /as
neither in his o/n hands nor in -od s. but /as sub7ect to
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something else$ all he could do then /as to obey the
;starets;. to restrain himsel+. to undertake nothing. and
sim!ly to /ait$ (n general all this time he lived not by
his o/n /ill but by that o+ the ;starets;. and in this
obedience he +ound a s!ecial tran6uility$
So he lived in his +irst monastery +or seven years$
At the end o+ the third year he received the tonsure and
/as ordained to the !riesthood by the name o+ Sergius$
The !ro+ession /as an im!ortant event in his inner li+e$
4e had !reviously e2!erienced a great consolation and
s!iritual e2altation /hen receiving communion. and no/
/hen he himsel+ o++iciated. the !er+ormance o+ the
!re!aration +illed him /ith ecstatic and dee! emotion$
ut subse6uently that +eeling became more and more
deadened. and once /hen he /as o++iciating in a de!ressed
state o+ mind he +elt that the in+luence !roduced on him
by the service /ould not endure$ and it did in +act
/eaken till only the habit remained$
(n general in the seventh year o+ his li+e in the
monastery Sergius gre/ /eary$ 4e had learnt all there
/as to learn and had attained all there /as to attain.
there /as nothing more to do and his s!iritual dro/siness
increased$ uring this time he heard o+ his mother s
death and his sister 5arvara s marriage. but both events
/ere matters o+ indi++erence to him$ 4is /hole attention
and his /hole interest /ere concentrated on his inner
li+e$
(n the +ourth year o+ his !riesthood. during /hich
the isho! had been !articularly kind to him. the
;starets; told him that he ought not to decline it i+ he
/ere o++ered an a!!ointment to higher duties$ Then
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monastic ambition. the very thing he had +ound so
re!ulsive in other monks. arose /ithin him$ 4e /as
assigned to a monastery near the metro!olis$ 4e /ished
to re+use but the ;starets; ordered him to acce!t the
a!!ointment$ 4e did so. and took leave o+ the ;starets;
and moved to the other monastery$
The e2change into the metro!olitan monastery /as an
im!ortant event in Sergius s li+e$ There he encountered
many tem!tations. and his /hole /ill&!o/er /as
concentrated on meeting them$
(n the +irst monastery. /omen had not been a
tem!tation to him. but here that tem!tation arose /ith
terrible strength and even took de+inite sha!e$ There
/as a lady kno/n +or her +rivolous behaviour /ho began to
seek his +avour$ She talked to him and asked him to
visit her$ Sergius sternly declined. but /as horri+ied
by the de+initeness o+ his desire$ 4e /as so alarmed
that he /rote about it to the ;starets;$ And in
addition. to kee! himsel+ in hand. he s!oke to a young
novice and. con6uering his sense o+ shame. con+essed his
/eakness to him. asking him to kee! /atch on him and not
let him go any/here e2ce!t to service and to +ul+il his
duties$
esides this. a great !it+all +or Sergius lay in the
+act o+ his e2treme anti!athy to his ne/ Abbot. a cunning
/orldly man /ho /as making a career +or himsel+ in the
,hurch$ Struggle /ith himsel+ as he might. he could not
master that +eeling$ 4e /as submissive to the Abbot. but
in the de!ths o+ his soul he never ceased to condemn him$
and in the second year o+ his residence at the ne/
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monastery that ill&+eeling broke out$
The 5igil service /as being !er+ormed in the large
church on the eve o+ the +east o+ the (ntercession o+ the
lessed 5irgin. and there /ere many visitors$ The Abbot
himsel+ /as conducting the service$ Father Sergius /as
standing in his usual !lace and !raying" that is. he /as
in that condition o+ struggle /hich al/ays occu!ied him
during the service. es!ecially in the large church /hen
he /as not himsel+ conducting the service$ This con+lict
/as occasioned by his irritation at the !resence o+ +ine
+olk. es!ecially ladies$ 4e tried not to see them or to
notice all that /ent on" ho/ a soldier conducted them.
!ushing the common !eo!le aside. ho/ the ladies !ointed
out the monks to one another && es!ecially himsel+ and a
monk noted +or his good looks$ 4e tried as it /ere to
kee! his mind in blinkers. to see nothing but the light
o+ the candles on the altar&screen. the icons. and those
conducting the service$ he tried to hear nothing but the
!rayers that /ere being chanted or read. to +eel nothing
but sel+&oblivion in consciousness o+ the +ul+illment o+
duty && a +eeling he al/ays e2!erienced /hen hearing or
reciting in advance the !rayers he had so o+ten heard$
So he stood. crossing and !rostrating himsel+ /hen
necessary. and struggled /ith himsel+. no/ giving /ay to
cold condemnation and no/ to a consciously evoked
obliteration o+ thought and +eeling$ Then the sacristan.
Father Nicodemus && also a great stumbling&block to
Sergius /ho involuntarily re!roached him +or +lattering
and +a/ning on the Abbot && a!!roached him and. bo/ing
lo/. re6uested his !resence behind the holy gates$
Father Sergius straightened his mantle. !ut on his
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biretta. and /ent circums!ectly through the cro/d$
>Lise. regarde a droite. c est luiB> he heard a
/oman s voice say$
> u. ouD (l n est !as tellement beau$>
4e kne/ that they /ere s!eaking o+ him$ 4e heard
them and. as al/ays at moments o+ tem!tation. he re!eated
the /ords. >Lead us not into tem!tation>. and bo/ing his
head and lo/ering his eyes /ent !ast the ambo and in by
the north door. avoiding the canons in their cassocks /ho
/ere 7ust then !assing the altar&screen$ n entering the
sanctuary he bo/ed. crossing himsel+ as usual and bending
double be+ore the icons$ Then. raising his head but
/ithout turning. he glanced out o+ the corner o+ his eye
at the Abbot. /hom he sa/ standing beside another
glittering +igure$
The Abbot /as standing by the /all in his vestments$
4aving +reed his short !lum! hands +rom beneath his
chasuble he had +olded them over his +at body and
!rotruding stomach. and +ingering the cords o+ his
vestments /as smilingly saying something to a military
man in the uni+orm o+ a general o+ the (m!erial suite.
/ith its insignia and shoulder&knots /hich Father
Sergius s e2!erienced eyes at once recogni=ed$ this
general had been the commander o+ the regiment in /hich
Sergius had served$ 4e no/ evidently occu!ied an
im!ortant !osition. and Father Sergius at once noticed
that the Abbot /as a/are o+ this and that his red +ace
and bald head beamed /ith satis+action and !leasure$
This ve2ed and disgusted Father Sergius. the more so /hen
he heard that the Abbot had only sent +or him to satis+y
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his +its o+ anger /ere due to the +act that in re+using
all clerical honours he humiliated himsel+ not +or the
sake o+ -od but +or the sake o+ his !ride$ >There no/.
am ( not a s!lendid man not to /ant anythingD> That /as
/hy he could not tolerate the Abbot s action$ >( have
renounced everything +or the glory o+ -od. and here ( am
e2hibited like a /ild beastB> >4ad you renounced vanity
+or -od s sake you /ould have borne it$ @orldly !ride is
not yet dead in you$ ( have thought about you. Sergius
my son. and !rayed also. and this is /hat -od has
suggested to me$ At the Tambov hermitage the anchorite
4ilary. a man o+ saintly li+e. has died$ 4e had lived
there eighteen years$ The Tambov Abbot is asking /hether
there is not a brother /ho /ould take his !lace$ And
here comes your letter$ -ot to Father Paissy o+ the
Tambov Monastery$ ( /ill /rite to him about you. and you
must ask +or 4ilary s cell$ Not that you can re!lace
4ilary. but you need solitude to 6uell your !ride$ May
-od bless youB>
Sergius obeyed the ;starets;. sho/ed his letter to
the Abbot. and having obtained his !ermission. gave u!
his cell. handed all his !ossessions over to the
monastery. and set out +or the Tambov hermitage$
There the Abbot. an e2cellent manager o+ merchant
origin. received Sergius sim!ly and 6uietly and !laced
him in 4ilary s cell. at +irst assigning to him a lay
brother but a+ter /ards leaving him alone. at sergius s
o/n re6uest$ The cell /as a dual cave. dug into the
hillside. and in it 4ilary had been buried$ (n the back
!art /as 4ilary s grave. /hile in the +ront /as a niche
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+or slee!ing. /ith a stra/ mattress. a small table. and
a shel+ /ith icons and books$ utside the outer door.
/hich +astened /ith a hook. /as another shel+ on /hich.
once a day. a monk !laced +ood +rom the monastery$
And so Sergius became a hermit$
(((
At ,arnival time. in the si2th year o+ Sergius s
li+e at the hermitage. a merry com!any o+ rich !eo!le.
men and /omen +rom a neighbouring to/n. made u! a troyka&
!arty. a+ter a meal o+ carnival&!ancakes and /ine$ The
com!any consisted o+ t/o la/yers. a /ealthy lando/ner. an
o++icer. and +our ladies$ ne lady /as the o++icer s
/i+e. another the /i+e o+ the lando/ner. the third /as
his sister && a young girl && and the +ourth a divorcee.
beauti+ul. rich and eccentric. /ho ama=ed and shocked the
to/n by her esca!ades$
The /eather /as e2cellent and the sno/&covered road
smooth as a +loor$ They drove some seven miles out o+
to/n. and then sto!!ed and consulted as to /hether they
should turn back or drive +arther$
> ut /here does this road lead toD> asked Makovkina.
the beauti+ul divorcee$
>To Tambov. eight miles +rom here.> re!lied one o+
the la/yers. /ho /as having a +lirtation /ith her$
>And then /hereD>
>Then on to L&&&. !ast the Monastery$>
>@here that Father Sergius livesD>
>Ces$>
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>3asatsky. the handsome hermitD>
>Ces$>
>mesdames and messieurs. let us drive on and see
3asatskyB @e can sto! at Tambov and having something to
eat$>
> ut /e shouldn t get home tonightB>
>Never mind. /e /ill stay at 3asatsky s$>
>@ell. there is a very good hostelry at the
Monastery$ ( stayed there /hen ( /as de+ending Makhin$>
>No. ( shall s!end the night at 3asatsky sB>
>(m!ossibleB 0ven your omni!otence could not
accom!lish thatB>
>(m!ossibleD @ill you betD>
>All rightB (+ you s!end the night /ith him. the
stake shall be /hatever you like$>
>A discretionB>
> ut on your side tooB>
>Ces. o+ course$ Let us drive on$>
5odka /as handed to the drivers. and the !arty got
out a bo2 o+ !ies. /ine. and s/eets +or themselves$ The
ladies /ra!!ed u! in their /hite dogskins$ the drivers
dis!uted as to /hose troyka should go ahead. and the
youngest. seating himsel+ side/ays /ith a dashing air.
s/ung his long knout and shouted to the horses$ The
troyka&bells tinkled and the sledge&runners s6ueaked over
the sno/$
The sledges s/ayed hardly at all$ The sha+t&horse.
/ith his tightly bound tail under his decorated
breechband. gallo!ed smoothly and briskly the smooth
road seemed to run ra!idly back/ards. /hile the driver
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dashingly shook the reins$ ne o+ the la/yers and the
o++icer sitting o!!osite talked nonsense to Makovkina s
neighbour. but Makovkina hersel+ sat motionless and in
thought. tightly /ra!!ed in her +ur$ >Al/ays the same
and al/ays nastyB The same red shiny +aces smelling o+
/ine and cigarsB The same talk. the same thoughts. and
al/ays about the same thingsB And they are all satis+ied
and con+ident that it should be so. and /ill go on living
like that till they die$ ut ( can t$ (t bores me$ (
/ant something that /ould u!set it all and turn it u!side
do/n$ Su!!ose it ha!!ened to us as to those !eo!le && at
Saratov /as itD && /ho ke!t on driving and +ro=e to death
$$$$ @hat /ould our !eo!le doD 4o/ /ould they behaveD
asely. +or certain$ 0ach +or himsel+$ And ( too should
act badly$ ut ( at any rate have beauty$ They all kno/
it$ And ho/ about that monkD (s it !ossible that he has
become indi++erent to itD NoB That is the one thing
they all care +or && like that cadet last autumn$ @hat
a +ool he /asB>
>(van NikolaevichB> she said aloud$
>/hat are your commandsD>
>4o/ old is heD>
>@hoD>
>3asatsky$>
> ver +orty. ( should think$>
>And does he receive all visitorsD>
>Ces. everybody. but not al/ays$>
>,over u! my +eet$ Not like that && ho/ clumsy you
areB NoB More. more && like thatB but you need not
s6uee=e themB>
So they came to the +orest /here the cell /as$
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Makovkina got out o+ the sledge. and told them to
drive on$ they tried to dissuade her. but she gre/
irritable and ordered them to go on$
@hen the sledges had gone she /ent u! the !ath in
her /hite dogskin coat$ the la/yer got out and sto!!ed
to /atch her$
(t /as Father Sergius s si2th year as a recluse. and
he /as no/ +orty&nine$ 4is li+e in solitude /as hard &&
not on account o+ the +asts and !rayers :they /ere no
hardshi! to him< but on account o+ an inner con+lict he
had not at all antici!ated$ The sources o+ that con+lict
/ere t/o" doubts. and the lust o+ the +lesh$ And these
t/o enemies al/ays a!!eared together$ (t seemed to him
that they /ere t/o +oes. but in reality they /ere one and
the same$ As soon as doubt /as gone so /as the lust+ul
desire$ ut thinking them to be t/o di++erent +iends he
+ought them se!arately$
> my -od. my godB> thought he$ >/hy does thou not
grant me +aithD There is lust. o+ course" even the
saints had to +ight that && Saint Anthony and others$
ut they had +aith. /hile ( have moments. hours. and
days. /hen it is absent$ @hy does the /hole /orld. /ith
all its delights. e2ist i+ it is sin+ul and must be
renouncedD @hy has Thou created this tem!tationD
Tem!tationD (s it not rather a tem!tation that ( /ish to
abandon all the 7oys o+ earth and !re!are something +or
mysel+ there /here !erha!s there is nothingD> And he
became horri+ied and +illed /ith disgust at himsel+$
>5ile creatureB And it is you /ho /ish to become a
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saintB> he u!braided himsel+. and he began to !ray$ ut
as soon as he started to !ray he sa/ himsel+ vividly as
he had been at the Monastery. in a ma7estic !ost in
biretta and mantle. and he shook his head$ >No. that is
not right$ (t is dece!tion$ ( may deceive others. but
not mysel+ or -od$ ( am not a ma7estic man. but a
!itiable and ridiculous oneB> And he thre/ back the
+olds o+ his cassock and smiled as he looked at his thin
legs to their underclothing$
Then he dro!!ed the +olds o+ the cassock again and
began reading the !rayers. making the sign o+ the cross
and !rostrating himsel+$ >,an it be that this couch /ill
be my bierD> he read$ And it seemed as i+ a devil
/his!ered to him" >A solitary couch is itsel+ a bier$
FalsehoodB> And in imagination he sa/ the shoulders o+
a /ido/ /ith /hom he had lived$ 4e shook himsel+. and
/ent on reading$ 4aving read the !rece!ts he took u! the
gos!els. o!ened the book. and ha!!ened on a !assage he
o+ten re!eated by heart" >Lord. ( believe$ 4el! thou my
unbelie+B> && and he !ut a/ay all the doubts that had
arisen$ As one re!laces an ob7ect o+ insecure
e6uilibrium. so he care+ully re!laced his belie+ on its
shaky !edestal and care+ully ste!!ed back +rom it so as
not to shake or u!set it$ The blinkers /ere ad7usted
again and he +elt tran6uilli=ed. and re!eating his
childhood s !rayer" >Lord. receive me. receive meB> he
+elt not merely at ease. but thrilled and 7oy+ul$ 4e
crossed himsel+ and lay do/n on the bedding on his narro/
bench. tucking the summer cassock under his head$ 4e
+ell aslee! at once. and in his light slumber he seemed
to hear the tinkling o+ sledge bells$ 4e did not kno/
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/hether he /as dreaming or a/ake. but a knock at the door
aroused him$ 4e sat u!. distrusting his senses. but the
knock /as re!eated$ Ces. it /as a knock close at hand.
at his door. and /ith it the sound o+ a /oman s voice$
>My godB ,an it be true. as ( have read in the
;Lives o+ the Saints;. that the devil takes on the +orm
o+ a /omanD Ces && it is a /oman s voice$ And a tender.
timid. !leasant voice$ PhuiB> And he s!at to e2orcise
the devil$ >No. it /as only my imagination.> he assured
himsel+. and he /ent to the corner /here his lectern
stood. +alling on his knees in the regular and habitual
manner /hich o+ itsel+ gave him consolation and
satis+action$ 4e sank do/n. his hair hanging over his
+ace. and !ressed his head. already going bald in +ront.
to the cold dam! stri! o+ drugget on the draughty +loor$
4e read the !salm old Father Pimon had told him /arded
o++ tem!tation$ 4e easily raised his light and emaciated
body on his strong sine/y legs and tried to continue
saying his !rayers. but instead o+ doing so he
involuntarily strained his hearing$ 4e /ished to hear
more$ All /as 6uiet$ From the corner o+ the roo+
regular dro!s continued to +all into the tub belo/$
utside /as a mist and +og eating into the sno/ that lay
on the ground$ (t /as still. very still$ And suddenly
there /as a rustling at the /indo/ and a voice && that
same tender. timid voice. /hich could only belong to an
attractive /oman && said"
>Let me in. +or ,hrist s sakeB>
(t seemed as though his blood had all rushed to his
heart and settled there$ 4e could hardly breathe$ >Let
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-od arise and let his enemies be scattered$$$>
>but ( am not a devilB> (t /as obvious that the
li!s that uttered this /ere smiling$ >( am not a devil.
but only a sin+ul /oman /ho has lost her /ay. not
+iguratively but literallyB> She laughed$ >( am +ro=en
and beg +or shelter$>
4e !ressed his +ace to the /indo/. but the little
icon&lam! /as re+lected by it and shone on the /hole
!ane$ 4e !ut his hands to both sides o+ his +ace and
!eered bet/een them$ Fog. mist. a tree. and && 7ust
o!!osite him && she hersel+$ Ces. there. a +e/ inches
+rom him. /as the s/eet. kindly. +rightened +ace o+ a
/oman in a ca! and a coat o+ long /hite +ur. leaning
to/ards him$ their eyes met /ith instant recognition"
not that they had ever kno/n one another. they had never
met be+ore. but by the look they e2changed they && and he
!articularly && +elt that they kne/ and understood one
another$ A+ter that glance to imagine her to be a devil
and not a sim!le. kindly. s/eet. timid /oman. /as
im!ossible$
>@ho are youD @hy have you comeD> he asked$
> o !lease o!en the doorB> she re!lied. /ith
ca!ricious authority$ >( am +ro=en$ ( tell you ( have
lost my /ay$>
> ut ( am a monk && a hermit$>
> h. do !lease o!en the door && or do you /ish me to
+ree=e under your /indo/ /hile you say your !rayersD>
> ut ho/ have you$$$>
>( shan t eat you$ +or -od s sake let me inB ( am
6uite +ro=en$>
She really did +eel a+raid. and said this in an
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almost tear+ul voice$
4e ste!!ed back +rom the /indo/ and looked at an
icon o+ the Saviour in 4is cro/n o+ thorns$ >Lord. hel!
meB Lord. hel! meB> he e2claimed. crossing himsel+ and
bo/ing lo/$ Then he /ent to the door. and o!ening it
into the tiny !orch. +elt +or the hook that +astened the
outer door and began to li+t it$ 4e heard ste!s outside$
she /as coming +rom the /indo/ to the door$ >AhB> she
suddenly e2claimed. and he understood that she had
ste!!ed into the !uddle that the dri!!ing +rom the roo+
had +ormed at the threshhold$ 4is hands trembled. and he
could not raise the hook o+ the tightly closed door$
> h. /hat are you doingD Let me inB ( am all /et$
( am +ro=enB Cou are thinking about saving your soul and
letting me +ree=e to death$$$>
4e 7erked the door to/ards him. raised the hook. and
/ithout considering /hat he /as doing. !ushed it o!en
/ith such +orce that it struck her$
> h && ;!ardon;B> he suddenly e2claimed. reverting
com!letely to his old manner /ith ladies$
She smiled on hearing that ;!ardon;$ >4e is not
6uite so terrible. a+ter all.> she thought$ >(t s all
right$ (t is you /ho must !ardon me.> she said. ste!!ing
!ast him$ >( should never have ventured. but such an
e2traordinary circumstance$$$>
>(+ you !leaseB> he uttered. and stood aside to let
her !ass him$ A strong smell o+ +ine scent. /hich he had
long not encountered. struck him$ She /ent through the
little !orch into the cell /here he lived$ 4e closed the
outer door /ithout +astening the hook. and ste!!ed in
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a+ter her$
>Lord Eesus ,hrist. Son o+ -od. have mercy on me a
sinnerB Lord. have mercy on me a sinnerB> he !rayed
unceasingly. not merely to himsel+ but involuntarily
moving his li!s$ >(+ you !leaseB> he said to her again$
She stood in the middle o+ the room. moisture dri!!ing
+rom her to the +loor as she looked him over$ 4er eyes
/ere laughing$
>Forgive me +or having disturbed your solitude$ but
you see /hat a !osition ( am in$ (t all came about +rom
our starting +rom to/n +or a sledge&drive. and my making
a bet that ( /ould /alk back by mysel+ +rom the 5orobevka
to the to/n$ ut then ( lost my /ay. and i+ ( had not
ha!!ened to come u!on your cell$$$> she began lying. but
his +ace con+used her so that she could not continue. but
became silent$ she had not e2!ected him to be at all
such as he /as$ 4e /as not as handsome as she had
imagined. but /as nevertheless beauti+ul in her eyes"
his greyish hair and beard. slightly curling. his +ine.
regular nose. and his eyes like glo/ing coal /hen he
looked at her. made a strong im!ression on her$
4e sa/ that she /as saying$
>Ces$$$so.> said he. looking at her and again
lo/ering his eyes$ >( /ill go in there. and this !lace
is at your dis!osal$>
And taking do/n the little lam!. he lit a candle.
and bo/ing lo/ to her /ent into the small cell beyond the
!artition. and she heard him begin to move something
about there$ >Probably he is barricading himsel+ in +rom
meB> she thought /ith a smile. and thro/ing o++ her /hite
dogskin cloak she tried to take o++ her ca!. /hich had
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become entangled in her hair and in the /oven kerchie+
she /as /earing under it$ She had not got at all /et
/hen standing under the /indo/. and had said so only as
a !rete2t to get him to let her in$ but she really had
ste!!ed into the !uddle at the door. and her le+t +oot
/as /et u! to the ankle and her overshoe +ull o+ /ater$
She sat do/n on his bed && a bench only covered by a bit
o+ car!et && and began to take o++ her boots$ The little
cell seemed to her charming$ The narro/ little room.
some seven +eet by nine. /as as clean as glass$ There
/as nothing in it but the bench on /hich she /as sitting.
the book&shel+ above it. and a lectern in the corner$ A
shee!skin coat and a cassock hung on nails by the door$
Above the lectern /as the little lam! and an icon o+
,hrist in 4is cro/n o+ thorns$ The room smelt strangely
o+ !ers!iration and o+ earth$ (t all !leased her && even
that smell$ 4er /et +eet. es!ecially one o+ them. /ere
uncom+ortable. and she 6uickly began to take o++ her
boots and stockings /ithout ceasing to smile. !leased not
so much at having achieved her ob7ect as because she
!erceived that she had abashed that charming. strange.
striking. and attractive man$ >4e did not res!ond. but
/hat o+ thatD> she said to hersel+$
>Father SergiusB Father SergiusB r ho/ does one
call youD>
>@hat do you /antD> re!lied a 6uiet voice$
>Please +orgive me +or disturbing your solitude. but
really ( could not hel! it$ ( should sim!ly have +allen
ill$ And ( don t kno/ that ( shan t no/$ ( am all /et
and my +eet are like ice$>
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>Pardon me.> re!lied the 6uiet voice$ >( cannot be
o+ any assistance to you$>
>( /ould not have disturbed you i+ ( could have
hel!ed it$ ( am only here till daybreak$>
4e did not re!ly and she heard him muttering
something. !robably his !rayers$
>Cou /ill not be coming in hereD> she asked.
smiling$ >For ( must undress to dry mysel+$>
4e did not re!ly. but continued to read his !rayers$
>Ces. that is a manB> thought she. getting her
dri!!ing boot o++ /ith di++iculty$ She tugged at it. but
could not get it o++$ The absurdity o+ it struck her and
she began to laugh almost inaudibly$ ut kno/ing that he
/ould hear her laughter and /ould be moved by it 7ust as
she /ished him to be. she laughed louder. and her
laughter && gay. natural. and kindly && really acted on
him 7ust in the /ay she /ished$
>Ces. ( could love a man like that && such eyes and
such a sim!le noble +ace. and !assionate. too des!ite all
the !rayers he muttersB> thought she$ >Cou can t deceive
a /oman in these things$ As soon as he !ut his +ace to
the /indo/ and sa/ me. he understood and kne/$ The
glimmer o+ it /as in his eyes and remained there$ 4e
began to love and desired me$ Ces && desiredB> said she.
getting her overshoe and her boot o++ at last and
starting to take o++ her stockings$ To remove those long
stockings +astened /ith elastic it /as necessary to raise
her skirts$ She +elt embarrassed and said"
> on t come inB>
ut there /as no re!ly +rom the other side o+ the
/all$ The steady muttering continued and also a sound o+
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moving$
>4e is !rostrating himsel+ to the ground. no doubt.>
thought she$ > ut he /on t bo/ himsel+ out o+ it$ 4e is
thinking o+ me 7ust as ( am thinking o+ him$ 4e is
thinking o+ these +eet o+ mine /ith the same +eeling that
( haveB> And she !ulled o++ her /et stockings and !ut
her +eet u! on the bench. !ressing them under her$ She
say a /hile like that /ith her arms round her knees and
looking !ensively be+ore her$ > ut it is a desert. here
in this silence$ No one /ould ever kno/$$$$>
She rose. took her stockings over to the stove. and
hung them on the dam!er$ (t /as a 6ueer dam!er. and she
turned it about. and then. ste!!ing lightly on her bare
+eet. returned to the bench and sat do/n there again /ith
her +eet u!$
There /as com!lete silence on the other side o+ the
!artition$ She looked at the tiny /atch that hung round
her neck$ (t /as t/o o clock$ > ur !arty should return
about threeB> She had not more than an hour be+ore her$
>@ell. am ( to sit like this all aloneD @hat nonsenseB
( don t /ant to$ ( /ill call him at once$>
>Father Sergius. Father SergiusB Sergey mitrichB
Prince 3asatskyB>
eyond the !artition all /as silent$
>ListenB This is cruel$ ( /ould not call you i+ it
/ere not necessary$ ( am ill$ ( don t kno/ /hat is the
matter /ith meB> she e2claimed in a tone o+ su++ering$
> hB hB> she groaned. +alling back on the bench$ And
strange to say she really +elt that her strength /as
+ailing. that she /as becoming +aint. that everything in
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her ached. and that she /as shivering /ith +ever$
>ListenB 4el! meB ( don t kno/ /hat is the matter
/ith me$ hB hB> She un+astened her dress. e2!osing
her breast. and li+ter her arms. bare to the elbo/$ > hB
hB>
All this time he stood on the other side o+ the
!artition and !rayed$ 4aving +inished all the evening
!rayers. he no/ stood motionless. his eyes looking at the
end o+ his nose. and mentally re!eated /ith all his soul"
>Lord Eesus ,hrist. Son o+ -od. have mercy u!on meB>
ut he had heard everything$ 4e had heard ho/ the
silk rustled /hen she took o++ her dress. ho/ she ste!!ed
/ith bare +eet on the +loor. and had heard ho/ she rubbed
her +eet /ith her hand$ 4e +elt his o/n /eakness. and he
might be lost at any moment$ That /as /hy he !rayed
unceasingly$ 4e +elt rather as the hero in the +airy&
tale must have +elt /hen he had to go on and on /ithout
looking round$ So Sergius heard and +elt that danger and
destruction /ere there. hovering above and around him.
and that he could only save himsel+ by not looking in
that direction +or an instant$ ut suddenly the desire
to look sei=ed him$ At the same instant she said"
>This is inhuman$ ( may die$$$$>
>Ces. ( /ill go to her. but like the Saint /ho laid
one hand on the adulteress and thrust his other into the
bra=ier$ ut there is no bra=ier here$> 4e looked
round$ The lam!B 4e !ut his +inger over the +lame and
+ro/ned. !re!aring himsel+ to su++er$ And +or a rather
long time. as it seemed to him. there /as no sensation.
but suddenly && he had not yet decided /hether it /as
!ain+ul enough && he /rithed all over. 7erked his hand
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a/ay. and /aved it in the air$ >No. ( can t stand thatB>
>For -od s sake come to meB ( am dyingB hB>
>@ell && shall ( !erishD No. no soB>
>( /ill come to you directly.> he said. and having
o!ened his door. he /ent /ithout looking at her through
the cell into the !orch /here he used to cho! /ood$
There he +elt +or the block and +or an a2e /hich leant
against the /all$
>(mmediatelyB> he said. and taking u! the a2e /ith
his right hand he laid the +ore+inger o+ his le+t hand on
the block. s/ung the a2e. and struck /ith it belo/ the
second 7oint$ The +inger +le/ o++ more lightly than a
stick o+ similar thickness. and bounding u!. turned over
on the edge o+ the block and then +ell to the +loor$
4e heard it +all be+ore he +elt any !ain. but be+ore
he had time to be sur!rised he +elt a burning !ain and
the /armth o+ +lo/ing blood$ 4e hastily /ra!!ed the
stum! in the skirt o+ his cassock. and !ressing it to his
hi! /ent back into the room. and standing in +ront o+ the
/oman. lo/ered his eyes and asked in a lo/ voice" >@hat
do you /antD>
She looked at his !ale +ace and his 6uivering le+t
cheek. and suddenly +elt ashamed$ She 7um!ed u!. sei=ed
her +ur cloak. and thro/ing it round her shoulders.
/ra!!ed hersel+ u! in it$
>( /as in !ain$$$( have caught cold$$$($$$Father
Sergius$$$($$$>
4e let his eyes. shining /ith a 6uiet light o+ 7oy.
rest u!on her. and said"
> ear sister. /hy did you /ish to ruin your immortal
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soulD Tem!tations must come into the /orld. but /oe to
him by /hom tem!tation comes$ Pray that -od may +orgive
usB>
She listened and looked at him$ Suddenly she heard
the sound o+ something dri!!ing$ She looked do/n and sa/
that blood /as +lo/ing +rom his hand and do/n his
cassock$
>@hat have you done to your handD> She remembered
the sound she had heard. and sei=ing the little lam! ran
out into the !orch$ There on the +loor she sa/ the
bloody +inger$ She returned /ith her +ace !aler than his
and /as about to s!eak to him. but he silently !assed
into the back cell and +astened the door$
>Forgive meB> >4o/ can ( atone +or my sinD>
>-o a/ay$>
>Let me tie u! your hand$>
>-o a/ay +rom here$>
She dressed hurriedly and silently. and /hen ready
sat /aiting in her +urs$ The sledge&bells /ere heard
outside$
>Father Sergius. +orgive meB>
>-o a/ay$ -od /ill +orgive$>
>Father SergiusB ( /ill change my li+e$ o not
+orsake meB>
>-o a/ay$>
>+orgive me && and give me your blessingB>
>(n the name o+ the Father and o+ the Son and o+ the
4oly -hostB> && she heard his voice +rom behind the
!artition$ >-oB>
She burst into sobs and le+t the cell$ The la/yer
came +or/ard to meet her$
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>@ell. ( see ( have lost the bet$ (t can t be
hel!ed$ @here /ill you sitD>
>(t is all the same to me$>
She took a seat in the sledge. and did not utter a
/ord all the /ay home$
A year later she entered a convent as a novice. and
lived a strict li+e under the direction o+ the hermit
Arseny. /ho /rote letters to her at long intervals$
(5
Father Sergius lived as a recluse +or another seven
years$
At +irst he acce!ted much o+ /hat !eo!le brought him
&& tea. sugar. /hite bread. milk. clothing. and +ire&
/ood$ ut as time /ent on he led a more and more austere
li+e. re+using everything su!er+luous. and +inally he
acce!ted nothing but rye&bread once a /eek$ 0verything
else that /as brought him he gave to the !oor /ho came to
him$ 4e s!ent his entire time in his cell. in !rayer or
in conversation /ith callers. /ho became more and more
numerous as time /ent on$ nly three times a year did he
go out to church. and /hen necessary he /ent out to +etch
/ater and /ood$
The e!isode /ith Makovkina had occurred a+ter +ive
hears o+ his hermit li+e$ That occurrence soon became
generally kno/n && her nocturnal visit. the change she
under/ent. and her entry into a convent$ From that time
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Father Sergius s +ame increased$ More and more visitors
came to see him. other monks settled do/n near his cell.
and a church /as erected there and also a hostelry$ 4is
+ame. as usual e2aggerating his +eats. s!read ever more
and more /idely$ Peo!le began to come to him +rom a
distance. and began bringing invalids to him /hom they
declared he cured$
4is +irst cure occurred in the eighth year o+ his
li+e as a hermit$ (t /as the healing o+ a +ourteen&year&
old boy. /hose mother brought him to Father Sergius
insisting that he should lay his hand on the child s
head$ (t had never occurred to Father Sergius that he
could cure the sick$ 4e /ould have regarded such a
thought as a great sin o+ !ride but the mother /ho
brought the boy im!lored him insistently. +alling at his
+eet and saying" >@hy do you. /ho heal others. re+use to
hel! my sonD> She besought him in christ s name$ @hen
Father Sergius assured her that only -od could heal the
sick. she re!lied that she only /anted him to lay his
hands on the boy and !ray +or him$ Father Sergius
re+used and returned to his cell$ ut ne2t day :it /as
in autumn and the nights /ere already cold< on going out
+or /ater he sa/ the same mother /ith her son. a !ale boy
o+ +ourteen. and /as met by the same !etition$
4e remembered the !arable o+ the un7ust 7udge. and
though he had !reviously +elt sure that he ought to
re+use. he no/ began to hesitate and having hesitated.
took to !rayer and !rayed until a decision +ormed itsel+
in his soul$ This decision /as. that he ought to accede
to the /oman s re6uest and that her +aith might save her
son$ As +or himsel+. he /ould in this case be but an
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insigni+icant instrument chosen by -od$
And going out to the mother he did /hat she asked &&
laid his hand on the boy s head and !rayed$
The mother le+t /ith her son. and a month later the
boy recovered. and the +ame o+ the holy healing !o/er o+
the ;starets; Sergius :as they no/ called him< s!read
throughout the /hole district$ A+ter that. not a /eek
!assed /ithout sick !eo!le coming. riding or on +oot. to
Father Sergius and having acceded to one !etition he
could not re+use others. and he laid his hands on many
and !rayed$ Many recovered. and his +ame s!read more and
more$
So seven years !assed in the Monastery and thirteen
in his hermit s cell$ 4e no/ had the a!!earance o+ an
old man" his beard /as long and grey. but his hair.
though thin. /as still black and curly$
5
For some /eeks Father Sergius had been living /ith
one !ersistent thought" /hether he /as right in
acce!ting the !osition in /hich he had not so much !laced
himsel+ as been !laced by the Archimandrite and the
Abbot$ That !osition had begun a+ter the recovery o+ the
+ourteen&year&old boy$ From that time. /ith each month.
/eek. and day that !assed. Sergius +elt his o/n inner
li+e /asting a/ay and being re!laced by e2ternal li+e$
(t /as as i+ he had been turned inside out$
Sergius sa/ that he /as a means o+ attracting
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visitors and contributions to the monastery. and that
there+ore the authorities arranged matters in such a /ay
as to make as much use o+ him as !ossible$ For instance.
they rendered it im!ossible +or him to do any manual
/ork$ 4e /as su!!lied /ith everything he could /ant. and
they only demanded o+ him that he should not re+use his
blessing to those /ho came to seek it$ For his
convenience they a!!ointed days /hen he /ould receive$
They arranged a rece!tion&room +or men. and a !lace /as
railed in so that he should not !ushed over by the cro/ds
o+ /omen visitors. and so that he could conveniently
bless those /ho came$
They told him that !eo!le needed him. and that
+ul+illing ,hrist s la/ o+ love he could not re+use their
demand to see him. and that to avoid them /ould be cruel$
4e could not but agree /ith this. but the more he gave
himsel+ u! to such a li+e the more he +elt that /hat /as
internal became e2ternal. and that the +ount o+ living
/ater /ithin him dried u!. and that /hat he did no/ /as
done more and more +or men and less and less +or -od$
@hether he admonished !eo!le. or sim!ly blessed
them. or !rayed +or the sick. or advised !eo!le about
their lives. or listened to e2!ressions o+ gratitude +rom
those he had hel!ed by !rece!ts. or alms. or healing :as
they assured him< && he could not hel! being !leased at
it. and could not be indi++erent to the results o+ his
activity and to the in+luence he e2erted$ 4e thought
himsel+ a shining light. and the more he +elt this the
more /as he conscious o+ a /eakening. a dying do/n o+ the
divine light o+ truth that shone /ithin him$
>(n ho/ +ar is /hat ( do +or -od and in ho/ +ar is
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it +or menD> That /as the 6uestion that insistently
tormented him and to /hich he /as not so much unable to
give himsel+ an ans/er as unable to +ace the ans/er$
(n the de!th o+ his soul he +elt that the devil had
substituted an activity +or men in !lace o+ his +ormer
activity +or -od$ 4e +elt this because. 7ust as it had
+ormerly been hard +or him to be torn +rom his solitude
so no/ that solitude itsel+ /as hard +or him$ he /as
o!!ressed and /earied by visitors. but at the bottom o+
his heart he /as glad o+ their !resence and glad o+ the
!raise they hea!ed u!on him$
There /as a time /hen he decided to go a/ay and
hide$ 4e even !lanned all that /as necessary +or that
!ur!ose$ 4e !re!ared +or himsel+ a !easant s shirt.
trousers. coat. and ca!$ 4e e2!lained that he /anted
these to give to those /ho asked$ And he ke!t these
clothes in his cell. !lanning ho/ he /ould !ut them on.
cut his hair short. and go a/ay$ First he /ould go some
three hundred versts by train. then he /ould leave the
train and /alk +rom village to village$ 4e asked an old
man /ho had been a soldier ho/ he tram!ed" /hat !eo!le
gave him and /hat shelter they allo/ed him$ the soldier
told him /here !eo!le /ere most charitable. and /here
they /ould take a /anderer in +or the night. and Father
Sergius intended to avail himsel+ o+ this in+ormation$
he even !ut on those clothes one night in his desire to
go. but he could not decide /as best && to remain or to
esca!e$ At +irst he /as in doubt. but a+ter/ards this
indecision !assed$ 4e submitted to custom and yielded to
the devil. and only the !easant garb reminded him o+ the
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thought and +eeling he had had$
0very day more and more !eo!le +locked to him and
less and less time /as le+t him +or !rayer and +or
rene/ing his s!iritual strength$ Sometimes in lucid
moments he thought he /as like a !lace /here there had
once been a s!ring$ >There used to be a +eeble s!ring o+
living /ater /hich +lo/ed 6uietly +rom me and through me$
That /as true li+e. the time /hen she tem!ted meB> :4e
al/ays thought /ith ecstasy o+ that night and o+ her /ho
/as no/ Mother Agnes$< She had tasted o+ that !ure
/ater. but since then there had not been time +or it to
collect be+ore thirsty !eo!le came cro/ding in and
!ushing one another aside$ and they had tram!led
everything do/n and nothing /as le+t but mud$
So he thought in rare moments o+ lucidity. but his
usual state o+ mind /as one o+ /eariness and a tender
!ity +or himsel+ because o+ that /eariness$
(t /as in s!ring. on the eve o+ the mid&Pentecostal
+east$ Father Sergius /as o++iciating at the vigil
Service in his hermitage church. /here the congregation
/as as large as the little church could hold && about
t/enty !eo!le$ They /ere all /ell&to&do !ro!rietors or
merchants$ Father Sergius admitted anyone. but a
selection /as made by the monk in attendance and by an
assistant /ho /as sent to the hermitage every day +rom
the monastery$ A cro/d o+ some eighty !eo!le && !ilgrims
and !easants. and es!ecially !easant&/omen && stood
outside /aiting +or Father Sergius to come out and bless
them$ Mean/hile he conducted the service. but at the
!oint at /hich he /ent out to the tomb o+ his
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!redecessor. he staggered and /ould have +allen had he
not been caught by a merchant standing behind him and by
the monk acting as deacon$
>@hat is the matter. Father SergiusD ear manB
LordB> e2claimed the /omen$ >4e is as /hite as a sheetB>
ut Father Sergius recovered immediately. and though
very !ale. he /aved the merchant and the deacon aside and
continued to chant the service$
Father Sera!him. the deacon. the acolytes. and so+ya
(vanovna. a lady /ho al/ays lived near the hermitage and
tended Father Sergius. begged him to bring the service to
an end$
>No. there s nothing the matter.> said Father
Sergius. slightly smiling +rom beneath his moustache and
continuing the service$ >Ces. that is the /ay the Saints
behavedB> thought he$
>A holy man && an angel o+ -odB> he heard 7ust then
the voice o+ So+ya (vanovna behind him. and also o+ the
merchant /ho had su!!orted him$ 4e did not heed their
entreaties. but /ent on /ith the service$ Again cro/ding
together they all made their /ay by the narro/ !assages
back into the little church. and there. though
abbreviating it slightly. Father Sergius com!leted
ves!ers$
(mmediately a+ter the service Father Sergius. having
!ronounced the benediction on those !resent. /ent over to
the bench under the elm tree at the entrance to the cave$
4e /ished to rest and breathe the +resh air && he +elt in
need o+ it$ ut as soon as he le+t the church the cro/d
o+ !eo!le rushed to him soliciting his blessing. his
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advice and his hel!$ There /ere !ilgrims /ho constantly
tram!ed +rom one holy !lace to another and +rom one
;starets; to another. and /ere al/ays entranced by every
shrine and every ;starets;$ Father Sergius kne/ this
common. cold. conventional. and most irreligious ty!e$
There /ere !ilgrims. +or the most !art discharged
soldiers. unaccustomed to a settled li+e. !overty&
stricken. and many o+ them drunken old men. /ho tram!ed
+rom monastery to monastery merely to be +ed$ And there
/ere rough !easants and !easant&/omen /ho had come /ith
their sel+ish re6uirements. seeking cures or to have
doubts about 6uite !ractical a++airs solved +or them"
about marrying o++ a daughter. or hiring a sho!. or
buying a bit o+ land. or ho/ to atone +or having overlaid
a child or having an illegitimate one$
All this /as an old story and not in the least
interesting to him$ 4e kne/ he /ould hear nothing ne/
+rom these +olk. that they /ould arouse no religious
emotion in him but he liked to see the cro/d to /hich
his blessing and advice /as necessary and !recious. so
/hile that cro/d o!!ressed him it also !leased him$
Father Sera!him began to drive them a/ay. saying that
Father Sergius /as tired$ ut Father Sergius.
remembering the /ords o+ the -os!el" >Forbid them>
:children< >not to come unto me.> and +eeling tenderly
to/ards himsel+ at this recollection. said they should be
allo/ed to a!!roach$
4e rose. /ent to the railing beyond /hich the cro/d
had gathered. and began blessing them and ans/ering their
6uestions. but in a voice so /eak that he /as touched
/ith !ity +or himsel+$ Cet des!ite his /ish to receive
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them all he could not do it$ things again gre/ dark
be+ore his eyes. and he staggered and gras!ed the
railings$ 4e +elt a rush o+ blood to his head and +irst
/ent !ale and then suddenly +lushed$
>( must leave the rest till tomorro/$ ( cannot do
more today.> and. !ronouncing a general benediction. he
returned to the bench$ The merchant again su!!orted him.
and leading him by the arm hel!ed him to be seated$
>FatherB> came voices +rom the cro/d$ > ear FatherB
o no +orsake us$ @ithout you /e are lostB>
The merchant. having seated Father Sergius on the
bench under the elm. took on himsel+ !olice duties and
drove the !eo!le o++ very resolutely$ (t is true that he
s!oke in a lo/ voice so that Father Sergius might not
hear him. but his /ords /ere incisive and angry$
> e o++. be o++B 4e has blessed you. and /hat more
do you /antD -et along /ith you. or ( ll /ring your
necksB Move on thereB -et along. you old /oman /ith
your dirty leg&bandsB -o. goB /here are you shoving toD
Cou ve been told that it is +inished$ Tomorro/ /ill be
as god /ills. but +or today he has +inishedB>
>FatherB nly let my eyes have a glim!se o+ his dear
+aceB> said an old /oman$
>( ll glim!se youB @here are you shoving toD>
Father Sergius noticed that the merchant seemed to
be acting roughly. and in a +eeble voice told the
attendant that the !eo!le should not be driven a/ay$ 4e
kne/ that they /ould be driven a/ay all the same. and he
much desired to be le+t alone and to rest. but he sent
the attendant /ith that message to !roduce an im!ression$
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>All right. all rightB ( am not driving them a/ay$
( am only remonstrating /ith them.> re!lied the merchant$
>Cou kno/ they /ouldn t hesitate to drive a man to death$
They have no !ity. they only consider themselves$$$$
Cou ve been told you cannot see him$ -o a/ayB
tomorro/B> And he got rid o+ them all$
4e took all these !ains because he liked order and
liked to domineer and drive the !eo!le a/ay. but chie+ly
because he /anted to have Father Sergius to himsel+$ 4e
/as a /ido/er /ith an only daughter /ho /as an invalid
and unmarried. and /hom he had brought +ourteen hundred
versts to Father Sergius to be healed$ For t/o years
!ast he had been taking her to di++erent !laces to be
cured" +irst to the university clinic in the chie+ to/n
o+ the !rovince. but that did no good then to a !easant
in the !rovince o+ Samara. /here she got a little better
then to a doctor in Mosco/ to /hom he !aid much money.
but this did no good at all$ No/ he had been told that
Father Sergius /rought cures. and had brought her to him$
So /hen all the !eo!le had been driven a/ay he a!!roached
Father Sergius. and suddenly +alling on his knees loudly
e2claimed"
>4oly FatherB less my a++licted o++s!ring that she
may be healed o+ her malady$ ( venture to !rostrate
mysel+ at your holy +eet$>
And he !laced one hand on the other. cu!&/ise$ 4e
said and did all this as i+ he /ere doing something
clearly and +irmly a!!ointed by la/ and usage && as i+
one must and should ask +or a daughter to be cured in
7ust this /ay and no other$ 4e did it /ith such
conviction that it seemed even to Father Sergius that it
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should be said and done in 7ust that /ay. but
nevertheless he bade him rise and tell him /hat the
trouble /as$ The merchant said that his daughter. a girl
o+ t/enty&t/o had +allen ill t/o years ago. a+ter her
mother s sudden death$ She had moaned :as he e2!ressed
it< and since then had not been hersel+$ And no/ he had
brought her +ourteen hundred versts and she /as /aiting
in the hostelry till Father Sergius should give orders to
bring her$ She did not go out during the day. being
a+raid o+ the light. and could only come a+ter sunset$
>(s she very /eakD> asked Father Sergius$
>No. she has no !articular /eakness$ she is 6uite
!lum!. and is only neurasthenic the doctors say$ (+
you /ill only let me bring her this evening. Father
Sergius. ( ll +ly like a s!irit to +etch her$ 4oly
FatherB ?evive a !arent s heart. restore his line. save
his a++licted daughter by your !rayersB> And the
merchant again thre/ himsel+ on his knees and bending
side/ays. /ith his head resting on his clenched +ists.
remained stock still$ Father Sergius again told him to
get u!. and thinking ho/ heavy his activities /ere and
ho/ he /ent through /ith them !atiently not/ithstanding.
he sighed heavily and a+ter a +e/ seconds o+ silence.
said"
>@ell. bring her this evening$ ( /ill !ray +or her.
but no/ ( am tired$$$> and he closed his eyes$ >( /ill
send +or you$>
The merchant /ent a/ay. ste!!ing on ti!toe. /hich
only made his boots creak the louder. and Father Sergius
remained alone$
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4is /hole li+e /as +illed by ,hurch services and by
!eo!le /ho came to see him. but today had been a
!articularly di++icult one$ (n the morning and im!ortant
o++icial had arrived and had had a long conversation /ith
him a+ter that a lady had come /ith her son$ this son
/as a sce!tical young !ro+essor /hom the mother. an
ardent believer and devoted to Father Sergius. had
brought that he might talk to him$ The conversation had
been very trying$ The young man. evidently not /ishing
to have a controversy /ith a monk. had agreed /ith him in
everything as /ith someone /ho /as mentally in+erior$
Father Sergius sa/ that the young man did not believe but
yet /as satis+ied. tran6uil. and at ease. and the memory
o+ that conversation no/ dis6uieted him$
>4ave something to eat. Father.> said the attendant$
>All right. bring me something$>
The attendant /ent to a hut that had been arranged
some ten !aces +rom the cave. and Father Sergius remained
alone$
The time /as long !ast /hen he had lived alone doing
everything +or himsel+ and eating only rye bread. or
rolls !re!ared +or the ,hurch$ 4e had been advised long
since that he had no right to neglect his health. and he
/as given /holesome. though Lenten. +ood$ 4e ate
s!aringly. though much more than he had done. and o+ten
he ate /ith much !leasure. and not as +ormerly /ith
aversion and a sense o+ guilt$ So it /as no/$ 4e had
some gruel. drank a cu! o+ tea. and ate hal+ a /hite
roll$
The attendant /ent a/ay. and Father Sergius remained
alone under the elm tree$
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(t /as a /onder+ul May evening. /hen the birches.
as!ens. elms. /ild cherries. and oaks. had 7ust burst
into +oliage$
The bush o+ /ild cherries behind the elm tree /as in
+ull bloom and had not yet begun to shed its blossoms.
and the nightingales && one 6uite near at hand and t/o or
three others in the bushes do/n by the river && burst
into +ull song a+ter some !reliminary t/itters$ From the
river came the +ar&o++ songs o+ !easants returning. no
doubt. +rom their /ork$ The sun /as setting behind the
+orest. its last rays glo/ing through the leaves$ All
that side /as brilliant green. the other side /ith the
elm tree /as dark$ The cockcha+ers +le/ clumsily about.
+alling to the ground /hen they collided /ith anything$
A+ter su!!er Father Sergius began to re!eat a silent
!rayer" > Lord Eesus ,hrist. Son o+ -od. have mercy
u!on usB> and then he read a !salm. and suddenly in the
middle o+ the !salm a s!arro/ +le/ out +rom the bush.
alighted on the ground. and ho!!ed to/ards him chir!ing
as it came. but then it took +right at something and +le/
a/ay$ 4e said a !rayer /hich re+erred to his abandonment
o+ the /orld. and hastened to +inish it in order to send
+or the merchant /ith the sick daughter$ She interested
him in that she !resented a distraction. and because both
she and her +ather considered him a saint /hose !rayers
/ere e++icacious$ ut/ardly he disavo/ed that idea. but
in the de!ths o+ his soul he considered it to be true$
4e /as o+ten ama=ed that this had ha!!ened. that he.
Ste!an 3asatsky. had come to be such an e2traordinary
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saint and even a /orker o+ miracles. but o+ the +act that
he /as such there could not be the least doubt$ 4e could
not +ail to believe in the miracles he himsel+ /itnessed.
beginning /ith the sick boy and ending /ith the old /oman
/ho had recovered her sight /hen he had !rayed +or her$
Strange as it might be. it /as so$ Accordingly the
merchant s daughter interested him as a ne/ individual
/ho had +aith in him. and also as a +resh o!!ortunity to
con+irm his healing !o/ers and enhance his +ame$ >They
bring !eo!le a thousand versts and /rite about it in the
!a!ers$ The 0m!eror kno/s o+ it. and they kno/ o+ it in
euro!e. in unbelieving 0uro!e> && thought he$ And
suddenly he +elt ashamed o+ his vanity and again began to
!ray$ >Lord. 3ing o+ 4eaven. ,om+orter. Soul o+ TruthB
,ome and enter into me and cleanse me +rom all sin and
save and bless my soul$ ,leanse me +rom the sin o+
/orldly vanity that troubles meB> he re!eated. and he
remembered ho/ o+ten he had !rayed about this and ho/
vain no/ his !rayers had been in that res!ect$ 4is
!rayers /orked miracles +or others. but in his o/n case
-od had not granted him liberation +rom this !etty
!assion$
4e remembered his !rayers at the commencement o+ his
li+e at the hermitage. /hen he !rayed +or !urity.
humility. and love. and ho/ it seemed to him then that
-od heard his !rayers$ 4e had retained his !urity and
had cho!!ed o++ his +inger$ And he li+ted the shrivelled
stum! o+ that +inger to his li!s and kissed it$ (t
seemed to him no/ that he had been humble then /hen he
had al/ays seemed loathsome to himsel+ on account o+ his
sin+ulness and /hen he remembered the tender +eelings
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/ith /hich he had then met an old man /ho /as bringing a
drunken soldier to him to ask alms and ho/ he had
received ;her;. it seemed to him that he had then
!ossessed love also$ ut no/D And he asked himsel+
/hether he loved anyone. /hether he loved So+ya (vanovna.
or Father Sera!him. /hether he had any +eeling o+ love
+or all /ho had come to him that day && +or that learned
young man /ith /hom he had had that instructive
discussion in /hich he /as concerned only to sho/ o++ his
o/n intelligence and that he had not lagged behind the
times in kno/ledge$ 4e /anted and needed their love. but
+elt none to/ards them$ 4e no/ had neither love nor
humility nor !urity$
4e /as !leased to kno/ that the merchant s daughter
/as t/enty&t/o. and he /ondered /hether she /as good&
looking$ @hen he in6uired /hether she /as /eak. he
really /anted to kno/ i+ she had +eminine charm$
>,an ( have +allen so lo/D> he thought$ >Lord. hel!
meB ?estore me. my Lord and -odB> and he clas!ed his
hands and began to !ray$
The nightingales burst into song. a cockcha+er
knocked against him and cre!t u! the back o+ his neck$
4e brushed it o++$ > ut does 4e e2istD @hat i+ ( am
knocking at a door +astened +rom outsideD The bar is on
the door +or all to see$ Nature && the nightingales and
the cockcha+ers && is that bar$ Perha!s the young man
/as right$> And he began to !ray aloud$ 4e !rayed +or
a long time till these thoughts vanished and he again
+elt calm and con+ident$ 4e rang the bell and told the
attendant to say that the merchant might bring his
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daughter to him no/$
The merchant came. leading his daughter by the arm$
4e led her into the cell and immediately le+t her$
she /as a very +air girl. !lum! and very short. /ith
a !ale. +rightened. childish +ace and a much develo!ed
+eminine +igure$ Father Sergius remained seated on the
bench at the entrance and /hen she /as !assing and
sto!!ed beside him +or his blessing he /as aghast at
himsel+ +or the /ay he looked at her +igure$ As she
!assed by him he /as acutely conscious o+ her +emininity.
though he sa/ by her +ace that she /as sensual and
+eeble&minded$ 4e rose and /ent into the cell$ She /as
sitting on a stool /aiting +or him. and /hen he entered
she rose$
>( /ant to go back to Pa!a.> she said$
> on t be a+raid.> he re!lied$ >@hat are you
su++ering +romD>
>( am in !ain all over.> she said. and suddenly her
+ace lit u! /ith a smile$
>Cou /ill be /ell.> said he$ >PrayB>
>@hat is the use o+ !rayingD ( have !rayed and it
does not good> && and she continued to smile$ >( /ant
you to !ray +or me and lay your hands on me$ ( sa/ you
in a dream$>
>4o/ did you see meD>
>( sa/ you !ut your hands on my breast like that$>
She took his hand and !ressed it to her breast$ >Eust
here$>
4e yielded his right hand to her$
>@hat is your nameD> he asked. trembling all over
and +eeling that he /as overcome and that his desire had
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already !assed beyond control$
>Marie$ @hyD>
She took his hand and kissed it. and then !ut her
arm round his /aist and !ressed him to hersel+$
>@hat are you doingD> he said$ >Marie. you are a
devilB>
> h. !erha!s$ @hat does it matterD>
And embracing him she sat do/n /ith him on the bed$
At da/n he /ent out into the !orch$
>,an this all have ha!!enedD 4er +ather /ill come
and she /ill tell him everything$ She is a devilB @hat
am ( to doD 4ere is the a2e /ith /hich ( cho!!ed o++ my
+inger$> 4e snatched u! the a2e and moved back to/ards
the cell$
The attendant came u!$
> o you /ant some /ood cho!!edD Let me have the
a2e$>
Sergius yielded u! the a2e and entered the cell$
She /as lying there aslee!$ 4e looked at her /ith
horror. and !assed on beyond the !artition. /here he took
do/n the !easant clothes and !ut them on$ Then he sei=ed
a !air o+ scissors. but o++ his long hair. and /ent out
along the !ath do/n the hill to the river. /here he had
not been +or more than three years$
A road ran beside the river and he /ent along it and
/alked till noon$ Then he /ent into a +ield o+ rye and
lay do/n there$ To/ards evening he a!!roached a village.
but /ithout entering it /ent to/ards the cli++ that
overhung the river$ There he again lay do/n to rest$
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(t /as early morning. hal+ an hour be+ore sunrise$
All /as dam! and gloomy and a cold early /ind /as blo/ing
+rom the /est$ >Ces. ( must end it all$ There is no
-od$ ut ho/ am ( to end itD Thro/ mysel+ into the
riverD ( can s/im and should not dro/n$ 4ang mysel+D
Ces. 7ust thro/ this sash over a branch$> This seemed so
+easible and so easy that he +elt horri+ied$ As usual at
moments o+ des!air he +elt the need o+ !rayer$ ut there
/as no one to !ray to$ There /as no -od$ 4e lay do/n
resting on his arm. and suddenly such a longing +or slee!
overcame him that he could no longer su!!ort his head on
his hand. but stretched out his arm. laid his head u!on
it. and +ell aslee!$ ut that slee! lasted only +or a
moment$ 4e /oke u! immediately and began not to dream
but to remember$
4e sa/ himsel+ as a child in his mother s home in
the country$ A carriage drives u!. and out o+ it ste!s
ncle Nicholas Sergeevich. /ith his long. s!ade&sha!ed.
black beard. and /ith him Pashenka. a thin little girl
/ith large mild eyes and a timid !athetic +ace$ And into
their com!any o+ boys Pashenka is brought and they have
to !lay /ith her. but it is dull$ She is silly. and it
ends by their making +un o+ her and +orcing her to sho/
ho/ she can s/im$ She lies do/n on the +loor and sho/s
them. and they all laugh and make a +ool o+ her$ She
sees this and blushes red in !atches and becomes more
!itiable than be+ore. so !itiable that he +eels ashamed
and can never +orget that crooked. kindly. submissive
smile$ And Sergius remembered having seen her since
then$ Long a+ter. 7ust be+ore he became a monk. she had
married a lando/ner /ho s6uandered all her +ortune and
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/as in the habit o+ beating her$ She had had t/o
children. a son and a daughter. but the son had died
/hile still young$ And Sergius remembered having seen
her very /retched$ Then again he had seen her in the
monastery /hen she /as a /ido/$ She had been still the
same. not e2actly stu!id. but insi!id. insigni+icant. and
!itiable$ She had come /ith her daughter and her
daughter s +iance$ They /ere already !oor at that time
and later on he had heard that she /as living in a small
!rovincial to/n and /as very !oor$
>@hy am ( thinking about herD> he asked himsel+. but
he could not cease doing so$ >@here is sheD 4o/ is she
getting onD (s she still as unha!!y as she /as then /hen
she had to sho/ us ho/ to s/im on the +loorD ut /hy
should ( think about herD @hat am ( doingD ( must !ut
an end to mysel+$>
And again he +elt a+raid. and again. to esca!e +rom
that thought. he /ent on thinking about Pashenka$
So he lay +or a long time. thinking no/ o+ his
unavoidable end and no/ o+ Pashenka$ She !resented
hersel+ to him as a means o+ salvation$ At last he +ell
aslee!. and in his slee! he sa/ an angel /ho came to him
and said" >-o to Pashenka and learn +rom her /hat you
have to do. /hat your sin is. and /herein lies your
salvation$>
4e a/oke. and having decided that this /as a vision
sent by -od. he +elt glad. and resolved to do /hat had
been told him in the vision$ 4e kne/ the to/n /here she
lived$ (t /as some three hundred versts :t/o hundred
miles< a/ay. and he set out to /alk there$
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5(
Pashenka had already long ceased to be Pashenka and
had become old. /ithered. /rinkled Praskovya Mikhaylovna.
mother&in&la/ o+ that +ailure. the drunken o++icial
Mavrikyev$ she /as living in the country to/n /here he
had had his last a!!ointment. and there she /as
su!!orting the +amily" her daughter. her ailing
neurasthenic son&in&la/. and her +ive grandchildren$ she
did this by giving music lessons to tradesmen s
daughters. giving +our and sometimes +ive lessons a day
o+ an hour each. and earning in this /as some si2ty
rubles :GH< a month$ So they lived +or the !resent. in
e2!ectation o+ another a!!ointment$ She had sent letters
to all her relations and ac6uaintances asking them to
obtain a !ost +or her son&in&la/. and among the rest she
had /ritten to Sergius. but that letter had not reached
him$
(t /as a Saturday. and Praskovya Mikhaylovna /as
hersel+ mi2ing dough +or currant bread such as the ser+
cook on her +ather s estate used to make so /ell$ She
/ished to give her grandchildren a treat on the Sunday$
Masha. her daughter. /as nursing her youngest child.
the eldest boy and girl /ere at school. and her son&in&
la/ /as aslee!. not having sle!t during the night$
Praskovya Mikhaylovna had remained a/ake too +or a great
!art o+ the night. trying to so+ten her daughter s anger
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against her husband$
She sa/ that it /as im!ossible +or her son&in&la/.
a /eak creature. to be other than he /as. and reali=ed
that his /i+e s re!roaches could do no good && so she
used all her e++orts to so+ten those re!roaches and to
avoid recrimination and anger$ nkindly relations
bet/een !eo!le caused her actual !hysical su++ering$ (t
/as so clear to her that bitter +eelings do not make
anything better. but only make everything /orse$ She did
not in +act think about this" she sim!ly su++ered at the
sight o+ anger as she /ould +rom a bad smell. a harsh
noise. or +rom blo/s on her body$
She had && /ith a +eeling o+ sel+&satis+action &&
7ust taught Lukerya ho/ to mi2 the dough. /hen her si2&
year&old grandson Misha. /earing an a!ron and /ith darned
stockings on his crooked little legs. ran into the
kitchen /ith a +rightened +ace$
>-randma. a dread+ul old man /ants to see you$>
Lukerya looked out at the door$
>There is a !ilgrim o+ some kind. a man$$$>
Praskovya Mikhaylovna rubbed her thin elbo/s against
one another. /i!ed her hands on her a!ron and /ent
u!stairs to get a +ive&ko!ek !iece Iabout a !ennyJ out o+
her !urse +or him. but remembering that she had nothing
less than a ten&ko!ek !iece she decided to give him some
bread instead$ She returned to the cu!board. but
suddenly blushed at the thought o+ having grudged the
ten&ko!ek !iece. and telling Lukerya to cut a slice o+
bread. /ent u!stairs again to +etch it$ >(t serves you
right.> she said to hersel+$ >Cou must no/ give t/ice
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over$>
She gave both the bread and the money to the
!ilgrim. and /hen doing so && +ar +rom being !roud o+ her
generosity && she e2cused hersel+ +or giving so little$
The man had such an im!osing a!!earance$
Though he had tram!ed t/o hundred versts as a
beggar. though he /as tattered and had gro/n thin and
/eather&beaten. though he had cro!!ed his long hair and
/as /earing a !easant s ca! and boots. and though he
bo/ed very humbly. Sergius still had the im!ressive
a!!earance that made him so attractive$ ut Praskovya
Mikhaylovna did not recogni=e him$ She could hardly do
so. not having seen him +or almost t/enty years$
> on t think ill o+ me. Father$ Perha!s you /ant
something to eatD>
4e took the bread and the money. and Praskovya
Mikhaylovna /as sur!rised that he did not go. but stood
looking at her$
>Pashenka. ( have come to youB Take me in$$$>
4is beauti+ul black eyes. shining /ith the tears
that started in them. /ere +i2ed on her /ith im!loring
insistence$ and under his greyish moustache his li!s
6uivered !iteously$
Praskovya Mikhaylovna !ressed her hands to her
/ithered breast. o!ened her mouth. and stood !etri+ied.
staring at the !ilgrim /ith dilated eyes$
>(t can t beB Ste!aB SergeyB Father SergiusB>
>Ces it is (.> said Sergius in a lo/ voice$ > nly
not Sergius. or Father Sergius. but a great sinner.
Ste!an 3asatsky && a great and lost sinner$ Take me in
and hel! meB>
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>(t s im!ossibleB 4o/ have you so humbled yoursel+D
ut come in$>
She reached out her hand. but he did not take it and
only +ollo/ed her in$
ut /here /as she to take himD The lodging /as a
small one$ Formerly she had had a tiny room. almost a
closet. +or hersel+. but later she had given it u! to her
daughter. and Masha /as no/ sitting there rocking the
baby$
>Sit here +or the !resent.> she said to Sergius.
!ointing to a bench in the kitchen$
4e sat do/n at once. and /ith an evidently
accustomed movement sli!!ed the stra!s o+ his /allet
+irst o++ one shoulder and then o++ the other$
>My -od. my -odB 4o/ you have humbled yoursel+.
FatherB such great +ame. and no/ like this$$$>
Sergius did not re!ly. but only smiled meekly.
!lacing his /allet under the bench on /hich he sat$
>Masha. do you kno/ /ho this isD> && and in a
/his!er Praskovya Mikhaylovna told her daughter /ho he
/as. and together they then carried the bed and the
cradle out o+ the tiny room and cleared it +or Sergius$
Praskovya Mikhaylovna led him into it$
>4ere you can rest$ on t take o++ence $$$ but (
must go out$>
>@here toD>
>( have to go to a lesson$ ( am ashamed to tell
you. but ( teach musicB>
>MusicD ut that is good$ nly 7ust one thing.
Praskovya Mikhaylovna. ( have come to you /ith a de+inite
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ob7ect$ @hen can ( have a talk /ith youD>
>( shall be very glad$ @ill this evening doD>
>Ces$ ut one thing more$ on t s!eak about me. or
say /ho ( am$ ( have revealed mysel+ only to you$ No
one kno/s /here ( have gone to$ (t must be so$>
> h. but ( have told my daughter$>
>@ell. ask her not to mention it$>
And Sergius took o++ his boots. lay do/n. and at
once +ell aslee! a+ter a slee!less night and a /alk o+
nearly thirty miles$
@hen Praskovya Mikhaylovna returned. Sergius /as
sitting in the little room /aiting +or her$ 4e did not
come out +or dinner. but had some sou! and gruel /hich
Lukerya brought him$
>4o/ is it that you have come back earlier than you
saidD> asked Sergius$ >,an ( s!eak to you no/D>
>4o/ is it that ( have the ha!!iness to receive such
a guestD ( have missed one o+ my lessons$ That can
/ait$$$ ( had al/ays been !lanning to go to see you$ (
/rote to you. and no/ this good +ortune has come$>
>Pashenka. !lease listen to /hat ( am going to tell
you as to a con+ession made to -od at my last hour$
Pashenka. ( am not a holy man. ( am not even as good as
a sim!le ordinary man ( am a loathsome. vile. and !roud
sinner /ho has gone astray. and /ho. i+ not /orse than
everyone else. is at least /orse than most very bad
!eo!le$>
Pashenka looked at him at +irst /ith staring eyes$
ut she believed /hat he said. and /hen she had 6uite
gras!ed it she touched his hand. smiled !ityingly. and
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said"
>Perha!s you e2aggerate. StivaD>
>No. Pashenka$ ( am an adulterer. a murderer. a
blas!hemer. and a deceiver$>
>My -odB 4o/ is thatD> e2claimed Praskovya
Mikhaylovna$
> ut ( must go on living$ And (. /ho thought ( kne/
everything. /ho taught others ho/ to live && ( kno/
nothing and ask you to teach me$>
>@hat are you saying. StivaD Cou are laughing at
me$ @hy do you al/ays make +un o+ meD>
>@ell. i+ you think ( am 7esting you must have it as
you !lease$ but tell me all the same ho/ you live. and
ho/ you have lived your li+e$>
>(D ( have lived a very nasty. horrible li+e. and
no/ -od is !unishing me as ( deserve$ ( live so
/retchedly. so /retchedly$$$>
>4o/ /as it /ith your marriageD 4o/ did you live
/ith your husbandD>
>(t /as all bad$ ( married because ( +ell in love
in the nastiest /ay$ Pa!a did not a!!rove$ ut ( /ould
not listen to anything and 7ust got married$ Then
instead o+ hel!ing my husband ( tormented him by my
7ealousy. /hich ( could not restrain$>
>( heard that he drank$$$>
>Ces. but ( did not give him any !eace$ ( al/ays
re!roached him. though you kno/ it is a diseaseB 4e
could not re+rain +rom it$ ( no/ remember ho/ ( tried to
!revent his having it. and the +right+ul scenes /e hadB>
And she looked at 3asatsky /ith beauti+ul eyes.
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/e had no means$$$$( al/ays ho!e it /ill !ass o+ itsel+$
4e has no !articular !ain. but$$$>
>LukeryaB> cried and angry and +eeble voice$ >She
is al/ays sent a/ay /hen ( /ant her$ Mamma$$$>
>( m comingB> Praskovya Mikhaylovna again
interru!ted hersel+$ >4e has not had his dinner yet$ 4e
can t eat /ith us$>
She /ent out and arranged something. and came back
/i!ing her thin dark hands$
>So that is ho/ ( live$ ( al/ays com!lain and am
al/ays dissatis+ied. but thank -od the grandchildren are
all nice and healthy. and /e can still live$ ut /hy
talk about meD>
> ut /hat do you live onD>
>@ell. ( earn a little$ 4o/ ( used to dislike
music. but ho/ use+ul it is to me no/B> 4er small hand
lay on the chest o+ dra/ers beside /hich she /as sitting.
and she drummed an e2ercise /ith her thin +ingers$
>4o/ much do you get +or a lessonD>
>Sometimes a ruble. sometimes +i+ty ko!eks. or
sometimes thirty$ They are all so kind to me$>
>And do your !u!ils get on /ellD> asked 3asatsky
/ith a slight smile$
Praskovya Mikhaylovna did not at +irst believe that
he /as asking seriously. and looked in6uiringly into his
eyes$
>Some o+ them do$ ne o+ them is a s!lendid girl &&
the butcher s daughter && such a good kind girlB (+ (
/ere a clever /oman ( ought. o+ course. /ith the
conne2ions Pa!a had. to be able to get an a!!ointment +or
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my son&in&la/$ ut as it is ( have not been able to do
anything. and have brought them all to this && as you
see$>
>Ces. yes.> 3asatsky. lo/ering his head$ >And ho/
is it. Pashenka && do you take !art in ,hurch li+eD>
> h. don t s!eak o+ it$ ( am so bad that /ay. and
have neglected it soB ( kee! the +asts /ith the children
and sometimes go to church. and then again sometimes (
don t go +or months$ ( only send the children$>
> ut /hy don t you go yoursel+D>
>To tell the truth> :she blushed< >( am ashamed. +or
my daughter s sake and the children s. to go there in
tattered clothes. and ( haven t anything else$ esides.
( am 7ust la=y$>
>And do you !ray at homeD>
>( do$ ut /hat sort o+ !rayer is itD nly
mechanical$ ( kno/ it should not be like that. but (
lack real religious +eeling$ The only thing is that (
kno/ ho/ bad ( am$$$$>
>Ces. yes. that s rightB> said 3asatsky. as i+
a!!rovingly$
>( m comingB ( m comingB> she re!lied to a call
+rom her son&in&la/. and tidying her scanty !lait she
le+t the room$
ut this time it /as long be+ore she returned$ @hen
she came back. 3asatsky /as sitting in the same !osition.
his elbo/s resting on his knees and his head bo/ed$ ut
his /allet /as stra!!ed on his back$
@hen she came in. carrying a small tin lam! /ithout
a shade. he raised his +ine /eary eyes and sighed very
dee!ly$
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overgro/n by desire +or human !raise$ Ces. there is no
-od +or the man /ho lives. as ( did. +or human !raise$
( /ill no/ seek 4imB>
And he /alked +rom village to village as he had done
on his /ay to Pashenka. meeting and !arting +rom other
!ilgrims. men and /omen. and asking +or bread and a
night s rest in ,hrist s name$ ccasionally some angry
house/i+e scolded him. or a drunken !easant reviled him.
but +or the most !art he /as given +ood and drink and
even something to take /ith him$ 4is noble bearing
dis!osed some !eo!le in his +avour. /hile others on the
contrary seemed !leased at the sight o+ a gentleman /ho
had come to beggary$
ut his gentleness !revailed /ith everyone$
+ten. +inding a co!y o+ the -os!els in a hut he
/ould read it aloud. and /hen they heard him the !eo!le
/ere al/ays touched and sur!rised. as at something ne/
yet +amiliar$
@hen he succeeded in hel!ing !eo!le. either by
advice. or by his kno/ledge o+ reading and /riting. or by
settling some 6uarrel. he did not /ait to see their
gratitude but /ent a/ay directly a+ter/ards$ And little
by little -od began to reveal 4imsel+ /ithin him$
nce he /as /alking along /ith t/o old /omen and a
soldier$ They /ere sto!!ed by a !arty consisting o+ a
lady and gentleman in a gig and another lady and
gentleman on horseback$ The husband /as on horseback
/ith his daughter. /hile in the gig his /i+e /as driving
/ith a Frenchman. evidently a traveller$
The !arty sto!!ed to let the Frenchman see the
!ilgrims /ho. in accord /ith a !o!ular ?ussian
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su!erstition. tram!ed about +rom !lace to !lace instead
o+ /orking$
They s!oke French. thinking that the others /ould
not understand them$
> emande=&leur.> said the Frenchman. >s ils sont
bien sur de ce 6ue leur !elerinage est agreable a ieu$>
The 6uestion /as asked. and one old /oman re!lied"
>As -od takes it$ ur +eet have reached the holy
!laces. but our hearts may not have done so$>
They asked the soldier$ 4e said that he /as alone
in the /orld and had no/here else to go$
They asked 3asatsky /ho he /as$
>A servant o+ -od$>
>Ku est&ce 6u il ditD (n ne re!ond !as$>
>(l dit 6u il est un serviteur de ieu$ ,ela doit
etre un +ils de !retre$ (l a de la race$ Ave=&vous de
la !etite monnaieD>
The Frenchman +ound some small change and gave
t/enty ko!eks to each o+ the !ilgrims$
>Mais dites&leur 6ue ce n est !as !our les cierges
6ue 7e leur donne. mais !our 6u ils se regalent de the$
,hay. chay !our vous. mon vieu2B> he said /ith a smile$
And he !atter 3asatsky on the shoulder /ith his gloved
hand$
>May ,hrist bless you.> re!lied 3asatsky /ithout
re!lacing his ca! and bo/ing his bald head$
4e re7oiced !articularly at this meeting. because he
had disregarded the o!inion o+ men and had done the
sim!lest. easiest thing && humbly acce!ted t/enty ko!eks
and given them to his comrade. a blind beggar$ The less
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im!ortance he attached to the o!inion o+ men the more did
he +eel the !resence o+ -od /ithin him$
For eight months 3asatsky tram!ed on in this manner.
and in the ninth month he /as arrested +or not having a
!ass!ort$ This ha!!ened at a night&re+uge in a
!rovincial to/n /here he had !assed the night /ith some
!ilgrims$ 4e /as taken to the !olice&station. and /hen
asked /ho he /as and /here /as his !ass!ort. he re lied
that he had no !ass!ort and that he /as a servant o+ -od$
4e /as classed as a tram!. sentenced. and sent to live in
Siberia$
(n Siberia he has settled do/n as the hired man o+
a /ell&to&do !easant. in /hich ca!acity he /orks in the
kitchen&garden. teaches children. and attends to the
sick$