Ariel cheung | managing editor

A former University of Cincinnati student was found dead in her Fairfield Twp. residence Monday morning, according to Fairfield Twp. police.

Melissa Kramer, 41, was found dead after an apparent murder-suicide. Her husband, Dale Kramer, 58, fatally shot his wife before turning the gun on himself.

Kramer, who went by the name Lissa, was planning to graduate from UC in fall 2010 with a bachelor’s degree in journalism and aspired to be a book editor.

She was named the 2007-08 intern in the Archives & Rare Books Library, where she spearheaded a project on indexing Clifton Magazine, the student publication that existed from 1972 until 1994.

“She was older than most of the people in our classes, so she always had a mature outlook on things,” said Taylor Dungjen, 22, who graduated in 2010 with a bachelor’s degree in journalism. “You appreciate that perspective when you’re surrounded by 20-somethings all the time.”

In March 2009, Kramer also released her first book, “The Inclines of Cincinnati,” which examined the history of the Highland House and its surrounding area, which, according to Kramer’s website, put Cincinnati on the cultural map a century ago.

“Lissa was always incredibly helpful and always suggested ideas about journalism,” said Dungjen. “And she had a lot of input on how the industry could change and how she was interested in watching it change and being a part of the evolution.”

The incident is still under investigation. The News Record will continue to update the story as more information becomes available.

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She had a lot of input on how the industry could

change and how she was interested in watching it

change and being a part of the evolution.

—taylor dungjen UC ALUMNA

Obama calls for college affordabilitygerMAn lOPez | neWS editor

President Barack Obama made a call Monday for more cost effectiveness and transparency in higher education.

The president, speaking to college journalists in a phone conference, explained the need to make college more affordable.

“[Spending on higher education]

is the only place where inflation is higher than health care inflation,” Obama said.

Obama mentioned a few tax policies that are aimed to help make college affordable despite the rising costs.

“We’re tripling the investment in college tax credits for middle-class families,” he said.

The president also described policies that he hoped would make student debts manageable.

“We’re raising the value of Pell Grants and we’re going to make sure they keep up with inflation,” Obama said. “What we’ve also done is made

sure that future borrowers are able to choose a plan so that you never have to pay more than 10 percent of your salary each month to service student loans that you’ve taken.”

Student loans will also be forgiven after ten years if the student keeps up with his payments and goes into public service, Obama said.

Obama also policies from the Affordable Care Act, the health-care reform that passed last year, which will assist students in making the jump from college to the workplace.

Shooting takes life of former student

UC community service honored

juSTin TePe | STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

MeeT AnD greeT Undergraduate Student Government President Drew Smith and Vice President Mark Rooney speak with Ohio 32nd District state Rep. Dale Mallory and his campaign manager after the presentation commending UC on its community service.

PhOTO cOurTeSY OF jAnice Shulz

TrAgeDY hiTS hOMe Mellissa “Lissa” Kramer was a UC journalism student and author of the book “The Inclines of Cincinnati.” She was 41 years old.

jAMeS SPrAgue | neWS editor

The University of Cincinnati added another award to its mantle Monday, as it received federal and state recognition for its community service programs.

UC was named to the 2009 President’s Higher Education Community Service Honor Roll, which recognizes colleges and universities in the U.S. for their achievements in community service annually.

The university was previously named to the 2007 and 2008 honor rolls.

State representative Dale

Mallory, of Ohio’s 32nd District, presented UC President Greg Williams with a resolution from the 128th General Assembly of Ohio during a ceremony on the steps of Tangeman University Center.

The resolution commended the school for its commitment to community service and its being named to the honor roll.

Mallory praised UC for the academic atmosphere it fosters.

“The university provides educational opportunities by creating an environment where freedom and equality and discourse may occur,” Mallory said.

Mallory also stressed the

university’s involvement with the city as the impetus for the award.

“The reason we are here is that the university is committed to creating a vibrant campus community, while also participating fully with the people of our Uptown neighborhood, Greater Cincinnati and beyond,” Mallory said.

The recognition couldn’t have occurred without the involvement of the UC community, Mallory said.

“If it were not for the selfless giving of hundreds of UC students, faculty and staff our

Mallory awards state resolution to school

FILE ART | THE NEWS RECORD

TriM The cOST Among President Obama’s goals for students is affordable tuition and health care.

WEDNESDAY

76°70°

THUR FRI SAT SUN

75° 69° 66° 64°50° 46° 44° 40

ThiS iSn’T crAYOlA Artists from around Cincinnati populate the sidewalks of Clifton with chalk renditions of famous artwork from around the world. The two-day festival paid homage to the European tradition of street art and included music and entertainment.

STREETSCAPESThe eight year street festival converts Clifton sidewalks into a canvas of art

PhOTOS BY AnnA BenTleY | STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

uc’s niemer eyeing school records

PROFESSOR ACCUSED OF STALKINGjAMeS SPrAgue | neWS editor

A University of Cincinnati professor was indicted Sept. 22 on a felony charge of stalking after a woman for four months.

George Bishop, 68, a UC political science professor, was charged for stalking local resident Laurie Russo.

UC has neither taken any action nor released a statement concerning Bishop’s situation, said Greg Hand, university spokesperson.

Bishop reportedly made threatening phone calls to Russo’s residence from various United Dairy Farmers stores and Shell gas stations throughout the city.

Among the purported threats from Bishop to Russo included burning her house down and Bishop said he had been on her porch and in her hot tub.

Russo traced one of the calls to a Shell station at the intersection of Madison and Edwards roads in the Cincinnati neighborhood of Hyde Park. Video surveillance from the gas station showed a man walking to the phone booth at the same time Russo received a threatening phone call.

The video also revealed the license plate number of the vehicle the man used by the man, which was traced back to Bishop.

Bishop turned himself in to the Hamilton County Sheriff’s office Friday and was later released on his own recognizance with orders to remain at home and stay away from Russo.

georgebishop

See AWArD | 3

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SPOTLIGHT

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2

Gin A. Ando | Editor-in-ChiEf

It’s 2:31 p.m. News Record photo editor Eamon Queeney and I are sitting on two chairs in a clean, formal office in Van Wormer Hall. We make small

talk waiting for our meeting with new Senior Vice President For Academic Affairs and Provost Santa J. Ono. He’s on the phone, connecting ends on all sides of the school. Between the two chairs are issues of the Business Courier — still addressed to and being sent to former provost Anthony Perzigian.

After about 10 minutes of wondering what the hell I was going to do with a mini Jimmy John’s sandwich I got for free, Ono’s secretary informs us the provost will not have time to provide in-depth answers for the questions I have for him.

The meeting is supposed to last for half an hour. Well, Ono’s busy. Ono, the new provost, is busy. That’s a good sign ... right?

We return at 5 p.m., after Ono sped off to East Campus for a white-coat awards ceremony, to the same smiling secretary, Geneva, and were shown back to Ono’s office.

“Have a seat,” Ono says. His voice sounds more attuned to laughter than speaking.

Eamon starts to set up the lighting equipment as Ono takes a seat and gives a staccato chuckle. He’s worried about whether he’ll have to take a formal pose: Smile and give a thumbs up next to something stamped with the University of Cincinnati seal. Eamon assures him to be casual — something Ono seemingly relishes.

Before we even start talking, he pulls out a BlackBerry and handles it like a professional. Double thumbs. Business never stops, and there’s no rest for the provost.

Background stories next. I give him the story of my life, Eamon gives his and Ono laughs.

“Sorry, you’re supposed to be interviewing me,” he says. It’s all right, though. It’s laid-back. Ono exudes a sense of being casual despite the wall of awards and his record of teaching at schools people

use as clichés of prestige — Harvard, Johns Hopkins and Emory.

Academia actually runs in Ono’s family; his family — aside from his daughters — is basically comprised of scholars.

“People joke that we could open up our own university,” he says, listing off a brother who teaches math at Emory, a brother at Tokyo University (which is often called the Harvard of Japan) a cousin who specializes in James Joyce, another cousin who works with circadian rhythm and a storied list of scholars and researchers in his family. “And it’s actually pretty true.”

Born in Canada but raised in Baltimore, his parents came to the United States after World War II. He recalls discussing Plato and Socrates growing up. But he isn’t the kind of guy who walks around in ragged Victorian clothing incessantly asking what it means to “be.” He’s pretty close to the opposite.

Ono’s wearing a light pink shirt. It’s nicely pressed, crisp and clean with the collar buttoned. But his tie — a shiny teal with red and blue dots — almost pleads for

a break in formalities. His jacket hangs seemingly brand new near the door: Put it on when you go out, take it off when you’re back in the office. Which is for the best, since a jacket might inhibit his grand gesticulations.

Ono’s that kind of guy.“I’m a bit childish,” he says with a laugh.

Ono is the university administrator who volunteers to be dunked in the dunk tank. Or flies down a Slip ‘n’ Slide. Or “likes” a Facebook status. All of which he has done.

In his office hangs a frame with four photos stacked atop one another.

“My bosses,” he says. And he’s serious. No, it’s not four pictures of UC President Gregory Williams. His “bosses” are the ones who helped him as a student — advisers, overseers. The Santa Onos to Santa Ono.

His office is an extension of himself. Not just Provost Ono or Mr. Ono. Santa J. Ono’s office. Books on branches of science that sound too long to be actual disciplines, awards, photographs, certificates and a section

of a tree. The “tree” was an award he earned over every other administrator and faculty member that he earned at Emory.

There’s a photo of a group of what looks to be silhouettes in front of the Louvre Museum in Paris — it kind of reminded me of a more stylized motivational poster picture.

Is it a “Wish You Were Here” kind of thing? No. It’s a group of students belonging to an a capella group, a group Ono himself sang with. And the group he helped get funding for their trip to Paris.

Not quite a motivational poster.A personable administrator? There’s

not enough room on campus for two Greg Hands. As a provost — a position that oversees deans from all colleges, analyzes enormous budgets and develops university-wide academic plans — Ono wants to make sure he gets his message across. He isn’t messing around as an administrator.

He’s confident, but he’s filling the shoes once held by a nearly legendary figure: Anthony Perzigian, a man who knew UC inside-out.

The keys to realizing his academic master plan? Fluidity and connection. Fluidity of administration and connections between all people affiliated with the university.

His magnum opus won’t be giving College-Conservatory of Music students a chance to hang out with Shakespeare fanatics. Instead, he’s looking to make a breakthrough in cross-disciplinary education for students and faculty because it’s what they want. An environment in which “students would teach faculty.”

He wants to help professors with office hours in McMicken to teach courses in the College of Design, Art, Architecture and Planning, not because the auditorium class can seat an inflated roster, but because the course belongs in DAAP.

In a sentence, Ono wants to change UC. He wants to use President Williams’ “broad strokes” of a plan that is UC2019 to paint a Klimt on a canvas the size of a stamp with the various faces of academia standing in for the squares, textures and colors.

Ono wants to create a unified campus. He wants to break down the walls between colleges, faculty, students and administrators and bring everyone under one seal.

“It’s important I establish that connection,” he says.

Although colleges have been merging and each school is being asked to do more with less, Ono’s looking to mold them together. Synthesize a curriculum that could truly result in a multifaceted program. Then bring it all under one person. The provost. Him. E pluribus Ono.

Well, maybe nothing that dramatic, but he’s the new guy in town and the first thing on his agenda is to possibly piss some people off.

He explains this with raised eyebrows and smiles with optimism. But, there’s also a tinge of acceptance — understanding the effort he has promised to put forth. An excited smile coupled with a nod of responsibility.

He wants to consolidate a campus dotted by colleges that seemingly have borders, different cultures and different languages.

This is day 29 behind the desk inside Van Wormer Hall.

But what Santa Jeremy Ono also wants to do is play softball. At Emory, he organized a football game between the administration and students — which they lost. When it changed to softball, Ono left with the Emory administration holding a 2-1 record.

UC’s new senior vice president and provost takes some time to tell us about his plans

eAmon queeney | phOtO EDItOR

doWn To eARTH Santa ono discusses his experience in education, his family and his plans for fluidity and connection within all parts of the university.

BUSINESS CASUAL

eAmon queeney | phOtO EDItOR

A PeRSonABLe AdminiSTRAToR Provost ono admits he’s a bit childish, as he volunteers to be dunked in the dunk tank or flies down a Slip ‘n’ Slide. he’s also the administrator who “likes” a status or two on facebook.

eAmon queeney | phOtO EDItOR

dediCATion To eduCATion Ono’s office is full of awards, photographs and certificates reflecting his experience and passion for teaching and students.

We are officially welcoming one of the our best and brightest classes of new

students in our history.—mitchel livingston

Vice president for student affairs

SEE ono | 3

Wednesday

September 29 | 2010

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Accidental death by cop not malicious

THE GREENECITY sam

greene

“If your employer does not offer you health care, or if you’re having trouble finding a job, during that period when you’re looking for a job, you will be covered under your parents’ plan up to the age of 26,” Obama said.

Obama hopes the plan will relieve students have of one less cost to bear after graduation.

Obama also had some advice concerning the issue of how colleges could be made more affordable for students.

“Students as consumers, parents as consumers, and state legislators and governors are going to need to put more pressure on universities,” he said.

The president targeted the advanced athletic facilities and food courts that colleges have

adapted since he went to college.“Somebody has to pay for that,” he said. Obama says students and parents as

consumers can put these facilities in a different perspective.

“You’re not going to the university to join a spa; you’re going there to learn so that you can have a fulfilling career,” he said.

Obama did say costs have to be transparent before they can be more effective.

“You should know where your tuition is going,” he said. “There should be a pie chart at every university that says, out of every dollar you spend in tuition, here’s where your money is going.”

from OBAMA | 1

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from AWARD | 1today,” Mallory said.

Greg Williams said the award added substance to the university’s image.

“What this resolution does today, it shows that we’re much more than a pretty face,” Williams said, in reference to UC being named as one of “Forbes” magazine’s most beautiful campuses in the world.

The UC community assisted approximately 800 organizations last year,

with student involvement in community service increasing 23 percent, Williams said.

Despite those numbers, Student Government president Drew Smith expressed a desire to increase participation from students.

“I want to tap on the shoulders, as President Williams says, and double our current student involvement,” Smith said.

That goal might be attainable, judging by Smith’s appraisal

of UC students wanting to take part in service activities.

“I’ve been amazed at the number of students that have expressed a passion to become involved with the community,” Smith said.

Mallory was extremely proud of presenting the award to UC and the impact it will have in Columbus at the state house.

“We have to fight for things — fight for money, fight for recognition,” Mallory said. “This brings it all home.”

hard as I can. If that stuff comes along with it, that’s great, but I just try to do my best every time I get out on the court.”

One of the only things Niemer hasn’t won in her tenure at Cincinnati is a Big East tournament championship — something she and Sunahara both have expectations of winning.

“I’m shooting for going undefeated in-conference,” Niemer said. “We definitely have high expectations for our team and we think we can accomplish that.”

If the team continues its dominating play, the Bearcats shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

The team is riding a six-game winning streak and a 35-game home winning streak — one that

Niemer helped engineer and one she doesn’t want to see crumble.

“With our home winning streak, we definitely want to keep that alive,” Niemer said. “I don’t want that to break during my senior year and we’re going to work hard to defend our home court.”

The team began conference play with a perfect 6-0 set record, but with a tough Big East schedule still ahead of them, Niemer and the Lady Cats still have a long way to go.

“I think we’re doing pretty well,” Niemer said. “Conference play just started and we went 3-0 both matches, but we’re looking forward to the rest of the conference.”

He stands holding a mitt, smiling at Eamon and me.

“Do you think the students would do it?” he asks us. Play softball? Connect? Liquidize to form the fluidity that serves as one of two pillars of his idealistic UC?

“Yeah,” Eamon and I respond almost in unison. We look at each other; we know what to ask next.

It’s not like the UC administration would be able to beat us anyway.

“Do you think the administration would play?” I ask. Would the administrators work to tear down the walls between the colleges? Fill in the proverbial moats? Let their gilded, tenured professors teach to other students? Fill in the squares, textures and help choose and mix the colors while he paints his masterpiece? ... Play softball against UC students? He smiles instinctively.

“I can handle that.”

A homeless woman killed in Cincinnati’s Over-the-Rhine neighborhood is the type of story a person just might skip over, but when that woman’s death involves a police officer, people want answers.

That’s just the type of story that made headlines this past July when Cincinnati Police Officer Marty Polk ran over Joann Burton, a 48 year-old homeless woman sleeping under a pile of blankets in Washington Park on July 27.

Any time a citizen is killed by a police officer it creates a sticky situation for both the police department and the city government as a whole. The death of an innocent woman who wasn’t suspected of a crime or even being pursued by the officer at the time is an extremely sensitive matter where peoples’ assumptions unfortunately tend to ring louder than the facts.

People first hearing of the incident commonly jumped immediately to the conclusion that the officer was behaving recklessly when he left the pavement to drive through the park. They wanted to know how a police officer could hit and kill a woman sleeping in a park in broad daylight.

Advocates for the rights of homeless people in the city were livid when it was announced that officer Polk would not be prosecuted under any felony charges after Burton’s death was ruled an accident.

Following the announcement, The Greater Cincinnati Coalition for the Homeless staged a protest in Over-the-Rhine, even though the full report produced by the Ohio State Highway Patrol supported the Hamilton County Prosecutor Joe Deters’ decision that no crime was committed.

While the event was tragic, it was certainly not a malicious act on the part of Polk. The officer left the pavement while in pursuit of a suspect. Driving through the grass in Washington Park was said to be routine activity since there are not paved pathways through the area.

Polk was said by witnesses to

have broken down in tears after seeing the mistake he had made. The idea that a person would be sleeping entirely under a blanket in the middle of a hot summer day likely never even crossed the officer’s mind. Almost any experienced driver can probably tell you a time or two when they made a mistake behind the wheel as a result of forgetting to consider 100 percent of the possible consequences.

The witnesses of the accident, the Prosecutors office, the Highway Patrol, other homeless people in Washington Park and the majority of people overall seem to be in agreement that Polk made an honest mistake, and the guilt he will have to live with for the rest of his life in punishment enough. The only people who seem to have a problem with the situation are people who have something to gain from the criminalization of Polk.

The victim’s family have stood up and sought legal advice as to how they might sue in civil court to make some money off of the situation. It’s interesting the same family that would allow Burton to live on the streets is suddenly so interesting in her well-being once they stand to make some money.

Various activists groups have also spoken up, claiming that to forego a criminal trial is to deny the human rights of Burton. They say that if she had been a more well-to-do citizen that there is no way anyone would over look the case. Some groups have even claimed that the city has let Polk slide because the victim was an African American – ignoring the fact that Polk himself is a African American as well.

It’s tragic that the death of an innocent woman has become just another opportunity for some people to stand up and grab a payday or 15 minutes of fame for their cause. At a time when people should be standing up to support the friends and family of Burton, or stand by officer Polk who will never live down his guilt, they instead attempt to make the situation about themselves.

Wednesday

September 29 | 2010

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sam weinberg

QUIT YERWEININ’

Sam Elliott | SportS Editor

After an emotional 31-29 loss to No. 8 Oklahoma, the University of

Cincinnati football team heads into its first bye week 1-3 with one-third of the season complete.

The Bearcats have yet to beat a Football Bowl Subdivision

opponent in Butch Jones’ four-game tenure, but the head coach has seen the

Bearcats continue to progress through a period of transition.

“I think it’s an ongoing process,” Jones said. “You look throughout the country, any time there’s change, there’s a period of time that you go through. But I’ve said it since I walked in here

and I’m going to keep saying it: our kids have bought in. They’ve been great.”

The Bearcats looked their best of the season against their toughest test yet Saturday

at Paul Brown Stadium.“I think we probably played our best ball game

overall, but we still made a lot of mistakes,” junior linebacker J.K. Schaffer said. “It’s a positive thing for us because we did play pretty well and we got

a lot of good things to build off of.”The bye week gives the Bearcats ample time to

build before their Saturday, Oct. 9, meeting with Miami (OH). Kickoff against the RedHawks has been set for 7 p.m. at Nippert Stadium.

The 115th Battle for the Victory Bell will be Cincinnati’s final non-conference game before Big East play begins Friday, Oct. 15, in Louisville.

“We’ve still got a long season to go,” Jones said. “I don’t want to make it sound like coach speak, but it is what it is. The only thing you can do is go and get better and work extremely hard and make sure we’re being disciplined in everything we do.”

Cincinnati’s strong showing against the Sooners might have inspired hope for Big East success during the final two-thirds of the season, but the bye week will be a busy one for the Bearcats.

“The fact of the matter is we know what we have to get better at as a team,” said sophomore linebacker Maalik Bomar. “It was just some small things that made the difference in the game. We have to work on that. We need to come back and we need to look over what we need to fix, but I think we’re coming together as a team.”

Scott WinfiEld | Staff rEportEr

Cross-town rival Xavier University (1-2-2) will host the University of Cincinnati men’s soccer team Wednesday as the Bearcats look to improve their 3-2-2 record.

The Bearcats rank near the bottom of the Big East in goals this season, but the offense has taken 90 shots — 38 on goal —

and 41 corner kicks through seven games. Cincinnati hopes to pressure the Xavier net

early with help from midfielder Matt Bahner. The junior leads the team with four goals, one assist and 12 shots on goal this year.

Head coach Hylton Dayes is confident in his offense after the Bearcats won a decisive 2-0 victory against Georgetown Saturday to begin conference play.

Senior midfielder Mark Konitsch has three assists this season and senior forward Nick Weightman scored his first goal of the year against the Hoyas.

“You always want to play with confidence,” Dayes said. “We’re definitely going into the Xavier game off of a good win against Georgetown.”

Cincinnati’s concern for the upcoming matchup is its penalty-stricken play. The Bearcats have collected 13 yellow cards this season and Dayes has his concerns about clean play in a fierce rivalry.

“This game is going to bring out a lot of emotion,” Dayes said. “We just have to keep our heads in the game.”

Xavier’s offense has managed just one goal this season after putting 13 shots on goal through five games.

Dayes is confident in his defense after the Bearcats have posted four shutouts this season, but remains focused on keeping the unit focused as the season progresses.

“We always want to make sure we have a solid base on defense and we need to have good pressure and challenge every ball,” Dayes said. “Just because they’re not scoring goals doesn’t mean they can’t score on us.”

In a game between two teams struggling to find the back of the net this season, one goal might be all it takes Wednesday.

“This might be one of those one-goal games and we’re going to have to find ways to get behind them from an offensive standpoint,” Dayes said. “We have to be ready to execute at critical points in this game.”

The clash between Cincinnati and the Musketeers begins at 7 p.m. Wednesday at Xavier University.

Sam WEinbErg | SportS Editor

When it’s all said and done, Stephanie Niemer will be remembered as one of the all-time volleyball greats at the University of Cincinnati.

From countless awards to becoming one of the program’s top career scorers to the scars left in Fifth Third Arena left by her patented “Niemer Bombs,” she will be remembered.

But she’s not done yet. Now halfway through her final

season in a Bearcat uniform, Niemer is on track to have her best year yet.

She has led the team to a 13-3 start, two-straight wins in Big East play and a top-25 American Volleyball Coaches Association ranking — the team’s first since 2003.

“She’s having a great year up to this point and it’s important for her to continue that,” head coach Reed Sunahara said. “She’s our go-to player, and if she can continues to do what she has been doing, I think we can go a long way.”

In his 14 years as a Cincinnati volleyball coach, Sunahara said Niemer is one of the best players he has had the opportunity to coach and one of the most talented players to come through the program.

Her stats make it hard to argue otherwise.

Niemer ranks ninth on UC’s all-time kills list with 1,644, but is on pace to finish the season with 608 kills — a mark that would put her in second on the all-time list.

With 14 regular season games and two tournaments left on the schedule, Niemer has shown no signs of slowing down.

Niemer made history Thursday, Sept. 21, by becoming the first Cincinnati and Big East player to win the AVCA National Player of the Week award.

She has also been named Big East Player of the Week for three-consecutive weeks.

“I definitely wasn’t expecting that,” Niemer said. “I’m just trying to play as hard as I can. If that stuff comes along

Bye week gives Bearcats break

Cross-town kickoff, UC visits rival Xavier

coultEr loEb | ChIEf PhOTOGRAPhER

croSStoWn riValrY rESumES in their previous meeting, the Bearcats defeated the Musketeers 2-1 in an overtime victory at Gettler Stadium.

Pat Strang | SENIOR PhOTOGRAPhER

niEmEr bomb incoming Senior Stephanie Niemer leads the No. 22 Bearcats with a team-best 295 kills through 16 matches this season.

Eamon QuEEnEY | PhOTO EDITOR

bYE WEEK rEliEf after a 1-3 start, the Bearcats will take one week off before facing Miami (oH) Saturday, oct. 9.

i think we probably played our best ball game overall, but we still

made a lot of mistakes.—J.K. schaffer

UC jUnior LinebaCker

NEW HEIGHTSranked Cats led by record-seeking Niemer

SEE VollEYball | 3

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September 29 | 2010

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Columnist bitter over latest loss

4

Football: A game of physical endurance played by 22 battle-hardened and trained athletes, testing their mettle against each other on the gridiron.

It’s a game of skill only a select few can mentally and physically compete in.

Fantasy football: A game of numbers, requiring no physical prowess played by 12 men on the Internet while drinking beer and wearing another man’s name on their back.

It requires only one skill: the ability to drag and drop.

As silly and ludicrous as the game sounds, fantasy football is one of the biggest aspects of real football today — and it’s horrible.

There have been a lot of bad things that have spawned from America’s game — the Bill Belichick fashion style, corny insurance commercials and the Cleveland Browns just to name a few.

But those pale in comparison to football’s real demon offspring: fantasy football.

It’s the worst thing to happen to the game since Roger “No Fun” Goodell was elected NFL commissioner.

Fantasy football is like heroin for football fans — one taste and they’re addicted. Possibly the worse thing about the game is how it turns once-passionate fans into treacherous dogs who couldn’t give two cents about their once favorite real life team.

One of the greatest things about football is the loyalty and passion fans display for their teams. No other sport has fans as rabid as football.

Go to any college or NFL tailgate and you’ll instantly understand that in the fall, football is more than just a sport — it’s a way of life.

Enter fantasy football. It takes that frenzy and love and tears it into pieces.

Besides having Eric Mangini as your head coach, there’s nothing that can make you jump ship and abandon your favorite team quite like fantasy football.

Sure, I’ve been an avid Houston Texans fan since their creation in 2002 and would probably sell a kidney to see them play in a Super Bowl.

But even I was rooting against Andre Johnson Sunday as he went on to ruin my fantasy weekend and spoil my three-game winning streak.

Sorry Texans, there’s a chance at $80 and a trip to the Super Bowl — my fantasy league Super Bowl — on the line.

The other Sunday, I even heard my friend from Boston curse Tom Brady because he was playing him in fantasy.

Are you kidding me? A person from Boston cursing “Terrific Tom” is like the pope denouncing Jesus.

And if turning fans into backstabbers isn’t enough, fantasy football is also one of the biggest time wasters on Earth.

More than 27.7 million people spend, on average, nine hours per week managing their fantasy football teams, according to USA Today.

And I thought Facebook was bad.

Instead of doing productive things like homework, paying bills or working out to get better at things like real football, people spend hours online competing for a coveted picture of a trophy that’s sent in an e-mail.

Nothing says “I’m a stud muffin” like hanging one of those on the fridge.

I hate it, yet I can’t get enough of it. It’s so addicting, yet so stupid and pointless.

Unfortunately for fans like myself who have been hooked on it for years and are now suffering the side effects, things are not looking up.

Fantasy football has become ingrained into American sports culture. From a comedy on FX to hours of weekly tips on ESPN, fantasy football is only getting bigger.

Why this virtual phenomenon of nothing more than numbers is so popular and addicting is anyone’s guess, but the world of football would be better off without it.

What’s that, fantasy hockey and basketball start in October? Sign me up for two leagues each, please.

Are you a fantasy football nut, or does cheering on your real life team take priority? E-mail Sam at sports.newsrecord@gmail.com.

EFFICIENCIES, 1-BEDROOM, 2-BEDROOM in HYDE PARK for rent in excellent condition. New appliances including dishwashers, A/C. HEAT and WATER paid. Balcony, pool use, 10 minutes from UC. New kitchens and bathrooms. Laundry, off-street parking/garage. Starting at $545 per month. Contact us at 513-477-2920 or pgspropertiesincincinnati@gmail.com

Nice, large 4 bedroom house. Walk to UC, hospitals. Driveway, equipped kitchen, carpet and hardwood floors. A/C. Basement, yard, deck, storage shed. New remodeled bath. Available immediately. $1195. Call 513-631-5058 or 513-484-0960. 412 Ada Street.

Efficiency $375. Call 513-382-9000.

One, two, three bedrooms and studios. Walk to UC. Free utilities! Hardwood, laundry, dishwasher, parking. Deposit special with approval. Call 513-652-2339.

4 bedroom house close to UC. Straight Street. Spacious living areas. Refrigerator, stove, washer, dryer . Oversized porch; private, fenced yard. $1100. Call 513-489-7653.

One bedroom $395. Call 513-382-9000.

BARTENDING. $250/DAY POTENTIAL. No experience necessary, training provided. Call 1-800-965-6520 ext 225.

Earn $1,000 to $3,200 a month to drive our car ads. www.AdCarDriver.com.

Extras needed to stand in the background for a major film production. Earn up to $200 per day. Experience not required. All looks needed. Call 877-744-4960.

Campus Marketing Position. Want to work for HP or Intel but haven’t got a degree yet? Be a campus ambassador and get paid to promote these brands on your campus. www.repnation.com/hp.intel

Caregiver wanted in Mason for active, physically disabled 52-year-old. No experience, flexible hours. 10+/hour. Call 513-564-6999 Ext. 688990

Looking for a few good people to help our inventory of customers with mortgage and retirement protection. We have training, mentors, leadership and fast payment for those qualified. Call 800-705-3372.

PT WORK, excellent pay in customer sales/service. Flexible schedules, evenings & weekends available, no experience necessary, all majors welcome. All ages 18+, conditions apply, www.workforstudents.com

Looking for responsible, caring individual to care for a 2 year old child in our Hyde Park home. Willing to work around schedule. Pay is negotiable. Contact at jdv@rawdonmyers.com or call 513-460-0059.

We are currently looking for part-time reps for business to business phone sales. The position pays an hourly plus commission. Perfect opportunity for college students who may be looking for a flexible work schedule, or a part time summer job. Call Scott or Patrick today to arrange an interview. 513-244-6542.

Cleaning, painting $7.50-$9.00. Call 513-221-5555.

IMPROVE YOUR ENGLISH CONVERSATION SKILLS! Free one-on-one practice with trained local volunteers. Register at information meeting at 7 pm, Wednesday, October 6. Call 859-441-4999 or 513-481-5820 for location and additional information.

Wednesday

September 29 | 2010

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CLASSIFIEDS POLICY1 All ads must be prepaid.2 Out-of-town advertisers must send check with copy.3 NIU’s must be signed and filled out before acceptance of ads.4 All ad changes are due two days prior to publication.5 No refunds unless a mistake by The News Record’s staff occurs in the advertisement. Refunds are not granted for ads placed, then cancelled. Adjustments are limited to the portion of the ad which is incorrect. Under no circumstances will an adjustment be issued greater than the cost of the ad.

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Our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are

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