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ZENPEBBLE

Number 5 News from the Zen Community of Baltimore/Clare Sangha Winter 2014

The Gratitude of Service in Our 20th Year

This newsletter commemorates the 20th anniversary of

Clare Sangha’s founding in 1993. It is dedicated to service

in its many forms, and to those who practice it.

We appreciate the skillful means to notice and

respond to service needs through not knowing/bearing

witness/and loving actions. These Peacemaker tenets and

methodology are similarly expressed in the practices of

beginner’s mind, bare attention and loving kindness.

Whether we call it not-knowing or beginner’s mind, our core

practice helps us to see clearly and put “deed before creed”

in serving others (and ourselves at the same time).

In From the Sangha Heart below, we hear the

experience of 16 practitioners. This is followed in the

Founders’ Corner by encouraging words from Roshi

Janet Richardson and Sensei Rosalie McQuaide; and by a

report of the Third ZCB Jukai in March 2013. Then

come Service Project write-ups from two sangha friends:

JoAnna Allen, a master school teacher who mentored

inmates in the local jail for two years; and Peter Wechsler,

an artisan carpenter who went to Fukushima to help a Zen

priest rebuild his temple.

1 Gratitude of Service in Our 20th

Year

2 From the Sangha Heart

3 Founders’ Corner

4 Service Projects

5 Third ZCB Jukai

6 Letters to Sangha

7 ZCB Schedule

8 Remembering Gry Esho Gambert

Fukushima to help a Zen priest rebuild his temple.

Next come Letters to Sangha and the ZCB to to

priest rebuild his temple. Letters to Sangha and

the ZCB Schedule 2014 are next. The newsletter

concludes by Remembering Gry Esho Gambert,

founder of the Baltimore Dharma Group.

In the World From the Sangha Heart

Contents Congratulations ZCB/Clare Sangha!, Marjean

Irwin and Mim Quaid

Memories of Baltimore Zen, Dorothy Farley

Reflection, Roberta Hucek

Recollections of a New “Shoot,” Barbara Craig

The Lima Bean Sutra, Carl Pohlner

Carpe Diem Lilies, Judy Bond

Coming Home, Ed Sullivan

Buen Camino, John Hebb

Thoughts on Service, Anthony Falcone

A Meditation on Service, Josh Rothschild

Why Jukai?, Sue Knause

Quilting the Buddha’s Robes, Alice Magorian

The Mindful Way and Clare Sangha, Mimi Marks

Story of the Bhagavad Gita, Sushma Rao

Wednesday Night Practice, Carole Andrews

“A Wonderful Act”, Bruce Blackman

INSIDE THIS ISSUE

1 Gratitude of Service in Our 20th Year

1 From the Sangha Heart

11 Founders’ Corner

12 Third ZCB Jukai

13 Service Projects

19 Letters to Sangha

20 ZCB Schedule 2014

21 Remembering Gry Esho Gambert

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Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

—The Buddha

Congratulations ZCB/Clare Sangha! By Marjean Irwin and Mim Quaid

Can it possibly be 20 years since we sat in Janet and Rosalie’s spare bedroom in that little apartment in Cockeysville?

Congratulations to the dedicated leadership of the ZCB/Clare Sangha which has provided stability and inspiration throughout

these years with a focus on taking the fruits of zazen out to the needs of the wider community. Marjean and Mim continue to sit

with a group on Thursday nights in Marjean’s new house following rituals and chants that are used in the ZCB/Clare Sangha. We

have found that regular meditation opens us up to be more attentive to the needs of the world and the needs of our own sangha

members. Throughout our years together, people have come to practice with us in times of crisis and have found strength and

solace in silent sitting.

Greater clarity of vision resulting from our zazen practice has led us to engage in different outreach projects. For

instance, in 2002, we raised funds to build a much needed school in a remote Cambodian village. Another member of ZCB/Clare

Sangha helped put us over the top in our fundraising efforts so construction could begin. We are happy to say that the school

continues to thrive. Recently, Marjean joined other sangha members in rehabbing a house for St. Frances Academy. More

important than these special projects, we believe that simply being present to people and showing compassion on a daily basis are

lasting gifts of zazen. Congratulations to ZCB/Clare Sangha, where we have our roots, on 20 remarkable and fruitful years of

mindful meditation and meaningful service from the practice of zazen.

Memories of Baltimore Zen

By Dorothy Farley For this newsletter, I was asked to recount what I remember from the early days of

Zen in Baltimore. Even before there was a formal zendo in Cockeysville, I would

meet Sister Mary Byrnes in Saddle River to begin the drive down to Baltimore. We

would always stop along the way for coffee, yogurt or ice cream. Once I ordered

pumpkin yogurt for me only. She would not even sample it, and never – ever

forgot that unusual (in her book) request. We would talk and laugh all the way

from New Jersey to Maryland. Silence was yet to come.

The first sitting was part of a sesshin in the home of Janet, Rosalie and

Mary to be followed by “real” sesshins and sittings in the new zendo outside their

home. I was privileged to lead kinhin often. Knowing the faithful members was a

delight. Their enthusiasm and sharing of delicious foods, especially homemade

soup, gave us the strength and thankfulness to continue sitting. There was a small

but worthwhile library collection for members to use and to contribute books already read. The presence of members of many

faiths provided a wealth of experience and understanding.

Reflection By Roberta Hucek

Reflecting on my experience with Clare Sangha, dates are long forgotten. Zazen came to my house. At first I was not "at home"

or present to the grace of the silence. Mostly I was a housewife; the house was there and I cared for it royally. This remembers me

to Fr. Greg Hartley who started the awareness that "If Roberta is not home, we should meet elsewhere."

I began and through these years continued the practice of sitting Zen. NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) teacher

Dick McHugh encouraged Zen retreats. So I was back at my own door and home - literally. I have Greg and Dick, two Jesuits, to

thank for my leaving the house and coming home. Sending gratitude to Janet, Rosalie, Bruce and to all the Clare Sangha for

touching my life these 20 years. Love and blessings.

May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back, the way it is with children." - Rainer Maria Rilke

Zen Retreat, 1991

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Recollections of A “New Shoot” By Sensei Barbara Craig

Since the 15th Anniversary edition of Zen Pebble documented well the early days of the Clare Sangha, I want to share something

of the life of a “new shoot”, the birth and growth of the FLOWING RIVER SANGHA.

On December 1, 1996, the Interfaith Resource Center for Peace and Justice (of which I was a member) sponsored a Zen

Workshop led by Janet Richardson, then Sensei, and assisted by student Shalom Belnick. On that day Janet strongly encouraged me

to tell those who were present that a weekly zen group would begin very soon. And soon it was. Our very first group gathering was

on a Thursday night, January 30, 1997, in the basement of the Sisters of Mercy Province Center in Dallas. Meantime we were

invited by one of our sisters to come to Mercy Hospital in Wilkes-Barre, and so, on February 6, 1997, we began our weekly zen

sitting that continues today. Mercy Hospital was sold a few years back to the Geisinger Health System. We are still welcome there.

Then our Tuesday group grew out of a Zen Workshop at Misericordia in March 2001. After a few months in various

locations at the college, we moved to Mercy Center on the same campus, and have been there on Tuesday afternoons since then.

All this happened before my installation as a zen teacher. Our “life line” came from the Clare Sangha. Janet and Rosalie

spent a number of Zazenkai days with us, just as Stephanie and I had travelled to the Clare Sangha on so many 2nd Saturdays. We

became an independent group in 2002, but remain in the spirit of interdependence, continuing joint sesshins and team teaching

with the Clare Sangha.

Over the years we’ve been involved in a number of service projects, including prison ministry in two prisons. We also

worked with a group of women who made sleeping bags for the homeless. We supplied most of the materials needed for that. And

most recently, two of our members visit a homeless shelter for women one night a week and very informally help those interested

to “just sit” for a few minutes. It seems to be helpful.

The Three Tenets of the Peacemaker Order are what we come back to, over and over, not knowing, bearing witness,

loving action. All this in gratitude to our roots: ZCB/Clare Sangha.

The Lima Bean Sutra By Carl Pohlner

One formative image I have is of the kitchen of my mother’s childhood home, an upstairs apartment in Scranton, where the

benches from the porch had to be brought in for all of us to sit around the table when we came visiting from Baltimore. The

apartment was filled with the kinds of things that make us who we are—a heavy green box with shoe-shining tins and brushes, a

closet with two doors that connected the bathroom and the back porch, a coal stove.

At one time after the benches had been placed, a large bowl of steaming lima beans was set on the table, the beans

mounded high above the rim. On top of the mountain of beans my grandmother set a slab of butter cut from the block. As I sat

on the rough bench waiting for all to be seated, waiting for all the prayers to be said, ducking the flapping wings of elbows and

arms that flew above me, enduring all the confusion it takes for the human species to feed itself, I watched the butter melt. I

watched the mass of heroic proportion run endlessly as it turned in an alchemical way from gold to silver and flowed into the pale

green crevices. I think I was the only one who saw this. When I grew up I realized how important this was.

Carpe Diem Lilies Etegami by Judy Bond

Avalokitesvara “Please.” Please make me simple,

please make me free.

The moment you call saying “please” is

Avalokitesvara.

There is no subject calling and there is no object

being called upon,

Because the one who is calling is simultaneously

What one is looking for.

This is Avalokitesvara.

-Dainin Katagiri, Roshi

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Coming Home By Ed Sangetsu Sullivan

On a sunny Saturday morning, four members of the Red Rose Sangha of Lancaster, PA took a trip south to Cockeysville, MD.

One of us had heard about a sangha that held a monthly zazenkai, and, get this, actually had teachers! We packed up our zafus and

zabutons and decided to investigate. Our seventy-five minute journey ended in an almost empty parking lot. We weren’t sure if

we were in the right place. Who ever heard of a zendo located in an industrial park? But then I saw the sign, “Zen Community of

Baltimore/Clare Sangha.” I didn’t know it then, but I had found my spiritual home.

We entered a simple office space – no beautifully inscribed Japanese scrolls imparting cryptic bits of Zen wisdom, no

polished wooden floors: just plain white walls and standard-issued office carpeting. We were informed that kinhin would be held

in the parking lot. I liked it.

Roshi Janet Richardson began the day, as she typically did, with a teisho. In the afternoon, Sensei Rosalie McQuaide gave

her talk. Both gave interviews, and I was determined to talk with them both. I was looking for a Zen teacher. As I recall, our

meetings were essentially getting-to-know-you interviews. No dharma combat occurred, no koans proffered. Nonetheless, by the

end of the day, I knew I had hit the jackpot. I found not one, but two teachers--two women who wanted nothing from me except

my best effort to wake up. And, in the past several years, I have had the opportunity to work with their successor, Sensei Bruce

Blackman, who offered me koan and precept study—both now parts of my own long-term practice.

Since that first day 12 years ago, I have attended many more zazenkais but in different venues: the Witherspoon house,

the Quaker meeting house, the Trinitarian Retreat Center, and, now, the Unitarian-Universalist Church of Towson. And with each

zazenkai, I continue to come home to the same warmth, friendliness, and Zen that Janet and Rosalie made possible that first sunny

Saturday.

Buen Camino! By John Hebb

We gathered beside the Rio Sarria, early on a Sunday morning in September. I soaked up the 50 degree cool, having left the 100

degree weather of the Baltimore summer that began in April. A day pack, a scalloped shell, shorts, t-shirt and a staff would be my

equipment for the coming days. Quietly, we walked through the sleeping town of Sarria to the Monastery of Mary Magdalen where

we learned what was ahead for us that day. A hand-painted yellow arrow, on the 125 km marker, pointed the direction of the

Camino de Santiago, the Way of St. James.

James was the fourth person Jesus called to be his apostle. Together with Peter and John, James belonged to the inner

circle of the apostles of Christ. At delicate moments in His three year ministry, Christ allowed no one close to Him except Peter,

James and John. On the night he was betrayed, and hours before his crucifixion, Peter, James and John were with Christ in the

garden of Gethsemane.

Legend holds that just before his crucifixion, Jesus divided up the world among His Apostles. James was assigned the

Iberian Peninsula and traveled to the Galicia, preaching as he went. He decided to return to the Holy Land. Once back, James was

beheaded in Jerusalem by King Herrod Agrippa in 44 AD, and so became the first of Christ’s apostles to be martyred. The reason

for the beheading remains obscure.

Friends secreted the body of Santiago out of Jerusalem and put it on a stone boat that - with no sails, oars, or even sailors -

traveled across the Mediterranean Sea, and north along the Iberian coast to the town of Finisterre. According to legend, scallop

shells are said to have covered James’ body when it was found on the Galician shore. When the boat reached Galicia, Santiago’s

“Inhale, and God approaches you.

Hold the exhalation, and God remains with you.

Exhale and you approach God.

Hold the exhalation, and surrender to God.”

-Krischnamacharya, 1888-1989

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disciples were there and took his body inland to bury James on a hill. Soon the tomb began drawing pilgrims. Around the hillside,

the city of Santiago de Compostela grew. The small chapel that guarded the relics eventually became the massive Catedral de Santiago de

Compostela.

The path from Sarria to Portomarin was spread equally between quiet country roads and natural walkways, typical of

Galicia, in the northwestern part of Spain. Portomarin led to Palas de Rei, then onto Arzua and finally to O Pino, each leg covering 20

km. Each day we walked through woodlands, across main roads, through farm yards sometimes sharing the Way with sheep, goats

and cows. Beside us always were other pilgrims, all pressing onward toward Santiago. As we got nearer the city, asphalt and crowds

replaced the countryside of Galicia. The last hill to be traversed before Santiago, was the Monte de Gozo or Mount of Joy. About half

a block from the Cathederal, we went through a narrow passage, turned left and entered the Praza Obradorio. To our left was the

massive Catedral de Santiago de Compostela, the end of the pilgrimage.

By tradition, we walked up the steps, passing through Master Mateo’s masterpiece, the Portico de Gloria, into the Cathedral.

Pilgrims entered the Cathedral with varying emotions, some in tears, some laughter, others in a daze. Others collapsed into the

wooden pews, seemingly unable to take another step. I was grateful for safe arrival into this beautiful stone building that was filled

with the sense of so many thousands of pilgrims through the centuries.

From the Cathedral, we went to the Compostela office to receive our compostelanas, written in Latin, after proving our

legitimacy as walking pilgrims. Pilgrims from around the world were in line. At our mass, it took five minutes to read all the pilgrim

countries from the previous day. At the end of mass, several men swung the giant incense burner Botafumerio, bathing the pilgrims

in rich incense. In his homily, the priest encouraged us to keep the Camino in our hearts for the rest of our lives.

What did it mean to be a pilgrim? A pilgrim comes to encounter the sacred in a journey and to merge with it. I think it

means becoming the journey, being one-with it, finding direction in and appreciating one’s life in the process. A pilgrimage may

afford an authentic experience of time: rising before the sun is up, walking silently in the early morning fog, seeing how the colors

change as the day advances, living each moment as fully as possible, resting in a church or in some shade; living without a watch;

without calculating time or distance. What mattered was not the fleeting but the constancy, continually becoming the Way, being

the present.

The Camino serves as a metaphor for life. A well-trodden path may guide our steps, but does not shield us from the

questions that our busy lives may prevent us from recognizing. Do we go blindly through life unaware of our actions and how

they affect ourselves and others as well? The road offers nothing to hide behind. Life is along whichever road, path or way we find

ourselves on.

Passing another pilgrim on the Camino de Santiago, two words of encouragement were commonly exchanged. For me, this

often came at times of wondering why was I doing this. The words meant Good luck, see you at the next km marker, keep going, the next

town is nearer than you think, yes it is that hot, there is water ahead, my feet hurt too. Buen Camino!

Zazenkai, 1998

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Thoughts on Service By Anthony Falcone

Service – I’ve thought about it quite a bit and realized that my understanding of service has been changing with time. I believe

service can be experienced in different ways. It can be a self- other experience. It can be a selfless experience.

The self-other context implies separation. I serve you in some capacity, or you serve me, or we do something for each

other. There is a construct of the mind that colors our awareness during the activity. There is someone doing and someone

receiving.

I participated in a volunteer project in Baltimore led by Kevin McCamant of Clare Sangha. This was a row home

renovation on behalf of St. Frances Academy whose mission includes serving the East Baltimore community. My participation

involved helping clean the property behind the home as well helping remove debris and clean inside the home. I realize now that I

participated with self-other awareness. I enjoyed the work and I believe the contribution of my time and effort had value, but it

was definitely service with separation. This doesn’t make it good or bad, better or worse, but it was certainly service with

separation.

Is it possible to serve without self-other separation? How does one go about that? What does it look like? How does it

work? How can I possibly achieve it? I think that selfless service is just that. I believe it is being so absorbed in the activity of the

moment that nothing else is present, not even an awareness of service.

Service without separation takes practice. In the beginning, our meditation practice is difficult. The mind wanders and the

inner dialog races along. With consistent practice, the mind quiets and something else arises. The change only comes with

considerable effort and dedication. I believe the same is true of service. In the beginning, it is service with self-other awareness; this

is natural and to be expected. But with practice, effort, and mindfulness, I believe something else slowly and gracefully emerges. I

believe that self-other service gradually transforms into selfless service. We learn, through service, to be totally immersed in the

moment even in the midst of activity.

I have heard many times that Zen is letting go. We learn to let go in our sitting practice. A zendo filled with empty

cushions at sesshin. We also learn to let go through service, and I think service is just as necessary as our sitting practice.

Ultimately, service is practice and practice is service.

A Meditation on Service

By Josh Rothschild

This summer I bought a book of Jataka Tales which are stories of the Buddha’s past lives. One of the stories spoke strongly to me.

In the story, a jackal, a water-weasel, a monkey and a rabbit are all friends. The hare suggests one day that each of the friends fast

for a day, and give all the food they find “to any poor creature we meet.” The friends all agree. So it was, the jackal, water-weasel

and monkey all find food and stash it away, thinking themselves good for what they have done. Then, a poor woman finds each of

the animals and asks each of them for food. Each animal offers what it found, but the poor woman rejects their offerings.

The hare has a different experience. At first, the hare despairs that he cannot find anything to give away. Then comes a

solution—he would offer himself to anyone who wanted to eat! When the hare thought of this plan he “leaped with joy.” When

the poor woman comes to the hare for food, the hare tells her to build a fire. As the story goes, “full of joy the hare jumped into

the glowing fire.”

This is the world of fairy tales, of course, so we have some magical twists and all turns out well in the end. Still, the story

affected me profoundly in how it captured the essence of service. We hear of service in spiritual practice, and we often do funny

things to the concept. We may try to get away with giving what we don’t need; or offer in the spirit of thinking about what we can

get in return. We may not feel good about giving away things we like and want. But true service involves dissolution of the ego,

and a willingness to forgo material things in the cause of love. In a spirit of service, we feel alive and joyful.

A couple years ago, I was just walking through town and found myself close to the homeless shelter where I used to

work. I remembered someone had told me that a resident at the shelter named Cindy had been very ill recently (like all who lived

there, Cindy had AIDS). Cindy came only at the end of my time at the shelter, and I didn’t know her so well.

Somehow, a purposeful spirit sprang into my shoes. I walked to a nearby flower shop, and found a lovely flowered

jewelry box and a bouquet of flowers. I also found a card. Borrowing a pen from the store owner, I wrote a note—“hoping you

feel better,” but did not sign the card.

Holding the card, the bouquet of flowers and the jewelry box, I found myself smiling. My heart felt very full, like it might

burst out of my shirt. It seemed like I was in on a fantastic scheme, playing the most wonderful kind of practical joke. I went into

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the shelter and greeted a friend who worked at the front desk. “It’s so strange!” I told her. “Someone outside just asked me to

give these to you to give to Cindy.” She looked at the flowers and the gift. “Who was it?” she asked. “I don’t know, I didn’t

recognize them!” I said. “Can you give them to Cindy?” She agreed. I thanked her and walked out.

I never found out what happened. Did Cindy even get the gifts? How did she react? What happened? I never cared.

Service is nourishing like this; it brings the sweet taste of joy.

Why Jukai? By Sue Knause

Why Jukai? I don't know how many times I asked myself that...why? Maybe I'm not ready? Now is not the time - how on earth am

I going to have time to sew this rakusu? Maybe I am not prepared for what it means to take the precepts...

I had only been a Zen student for about three years. I was shown the Dharma path by my teacher, Zuijun Esho

Gambert,at Baltimore Dharma Group. On January 30, 2012, Esho passed away and I felt lost. I knew I needed another teacher.

Before she died, we talked extensively about this.

I started practicing with Clare Sangha and Sensei Bruce Blackman and from the first time I sat with them it felt like home.

It was a great balance to the Mount Equity Soto Zen service style. As Esho's health began to deteriorate, I discussed with her

taking the Zen Peacemaker precepts with Clare Sangha. Our last conversation was so very intense. I could tell she was trying to get

a lot of information to me. No doubt she understood it was probably our last time together and she wanted me to understand the

depth of this decision. She underscored that this vow is as important and as intense as a wedding vow...it was a commitment to

save ALL sentient beings......phew...no pressure!

I went through my precept study with the idea of “renting with an option to buy.” In the middle of all this, on a Thursday

afternoon in July, on a hot and crowded MARC train from my job in DC, I took a phone call that will forever change my life – our

adoption agency had a beautiful, newborn baby boy waiting for my partner and me - shabam!!! We got our beautiful boy on August

2nd, 2012, and a new journey began.

The more I spent time and received support from BDG members with and without children, and the more I talked to my

partner and readjusted to my new role and responsibilities, the more I felt the connection to my practice and how important it was,

and the harder I struggled to maintain it - if that makes sense. With Blackman-sensei’s support, I undertook the “Zen 108”

challenge of Clare Sangha to sit at least an hour daily for 108 days straight. I used my time to sit zazen early in the morning on the

train ride to DC. I completed the 108; it has helped my practice a lot.

I began the task of rakusu sewing, resewing, and sewing again. If I added all the times I have had to rip out and resew a

section, I think I could have sewn THREE rakusus! Most of the time my sewing was meditative and I lost myself in it. Clare

Sangha’s support was encouraging; 14 others were also preparing for jukai. Our sewing mentor Alice Magorian opened her home

to us; she was very helpful and kind. The process served as a metaphor for deciding to take my vows, uncertainties and questions

about how to BE in this world – how skillfully I went about my work. Was I paying attention? Then, when I got behind, oh no,

can I do this? Can I get this rakusu done? WHY do I want to get this done? What does this mean to me? Do I have to start

“acting” a certain way, as people expect Buddhists to be a certain way. More often than not, I am brash, kind of loud, and

somewhat (ok, A LOT) opinionated.

I am overwhelmed by the responsibility that the precepts imply but I am also transported to a little room on the second

floor of my teacher’s house, and the comfort of her, the Sangha, and the anticipation of our discussions of the dharma. I know that

the three treasures: the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha are where I seek refuge. I also recognize that taking these vows

connects me FOREVER with a lineage of my teachers, including Esho. I may not yet be able to fully take that all in, but I know

what I can do for right now is to be present and follow my breath.

'My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand’ – Thich Nhat Hanh

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Quilting the Buddha’s Robes By Alice Magorian

While I am a long time meditator, and an even longer time quilter, I am relatively new to Zen practice, so it took me by surprise

when Sensei Bruce Blackman asked me to lead a sewing class as part of the Jukai preparation study group. I rarely get a chance to

bring these two areas of my life together, even though my love of both of them springs from the same place in my heart. Any

quilter will tell you; the rhythmic repetitiveness of piecing together a quilt top or sewing the layers of a quilt together has a

meditative quality. If you don’t maintain a certain level of mindfulness while you sew, you make many more mistakes.

Like Buddhist practice, quilting can be done by anyone. It has been adopted by and adapted to many cultures all over the

world. You can make a quilt with little more than donated scraps, cardboard for making templates, and a needle and thread, or you

can use an $8000 sewing machine and lots of expensive fabric and equipment, but the result is the same: a visible expression of

love and effort and community. There is a famous quote from a 19th century quilter: “My whole life is in that quilt. It scares me

sometimes when I look at it. All my joys and all my sorrows are stitched into those little pieces.” And so it is with the rakusu. In

our sangha we use donated scraps of fabric and simple tools to piece together something that represents our love and respect for

the dharma and our willingness to make a constant effort.

All of the above being said, none of us approached the project with a sense of joyful meditative ease! Most people in the

group had either never sewn a stitch, or hadn’t since they took home economics in 6th grade. Learning that their long awaited goal

of taking precepts was contingent upon learning a whole new skill set and producing something beautiful and precise within the

short span of a few months was very anxiety provoking. And while the sewing itself held fewer anxieties for me, I felt that

everyone’s success or failure was also mine, and I had never made a rakusu or taught anyone else to sew, so really we were all in the

same boat.

We started out slowly, deciphering the instructions, learning to create a paper pattern and cut out the pieces, to thread a

needle and tie a knot in the thread, to take simple stitches. We met infrequently at first, then more and more often as the deadline

grew nearer, and performing more complicated sewing tasks took the place of basics. Towards the end we were going flat out with

weekly meetings that went long into the evening. Everyone sewed not only their love and commitment to the dharma into those

rakusus, but also their panic, their resentment, their resistance, and their willingness to do what Pema Chodron refers to as

“reaching your limit” and then being willing to take a step beyond that. We got to know each other a lot better during the year,

which was really nice for me as a new person. We all had a rakusu at the end of the process – no one’s was perfect, but turns out

that wasn’t what it was all about.

The Mindful Way and Clare Sangha By Mimi Marks

Collaboration between The Mindful Way and Clare sanghas began in 2009. Bruce Blackman and Mark Wiess came one Monday

evening to check out the space at the Towson Unitarian Universalist Church – where The Mindful Way to this day continues

meeting on Mondays – and to see whether the two sanghas (Vipassana and Zen) would be compatible to joint activities. The

answer was yes on both counts.

Working with Debbie Haverson, then leader of The Mindful Way, Clare Sangha began holding quarterly Saturday retreats

at TUUC. Finding the main floor meeting room an appealing space, Clare Sangha and The Mindful Way now offer Saturday

retreats most months, and a smaller meditation group, facilitated by Carole Andrews, usually meets one Wednesday evening on the

lower level. Expanding our knowledge of other spiritual traditions, Sushma Rao of The Mindful Way gave an excellent

presentation at the September retreat on the sacred Hindu text, Bhagavad Gita.

Story of the Bhagavad Gita By Sushma Rao

There are three unique scriptures of Hinduism: The Upanishads, The Brahma Sutra, and The Gita. The Bhagavad Gita means

“celestial song” or “song of the Lord.” It is part of the great Indian epic, the Mahabharata, composed more than 5000 years ago.

The Gita has 18 chapters and comprises of 700 sholkas. Chapters 1-6 discuss the Karma Yoga, Chapters 7-12 Bhakti

Yoga, and 13-18 the Gyan Yoga. The Gita is not a ritualistic, sectarian book at all, but a book of spirituality applicable to all the

human world. It carries the message of Realization and Liberation or Moksha (Nirvana), freedom from cycle of birth and death.

The Gita is a conversation between the warrior, Arjuna from the royal Pandava family and his charioteer Lord Krishna. A

war is about to begin between the Pandavas and the Kauravas. Arjuna is in a state of panic on the morning of the battle. The

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enemies are Kauravas, his cousins. He is about to fight his cousins, uncles and gurus. In his desperate predicament, Arjun turns to

Krishna for help.

The answers he gets are not exactly what he wants to hear, but it is an opportunity for Krishna to tell the mortals how the

universe operates and the best approach to life. This book operates on various levels: poetry, scripture, philosophy and self help

guide. Arjuna’s predicament is that he does not want to wage war against his own people. The story is allegorical; it is action and

non-action. The Gita introduces the concepts of Karma and Dharma.

Arjun wonders why he should do anything good or anything at all in a world that is so bad. Joseph Campbell’s

interpretation is that part of maturity is telling Yes to the abominable and to recognize its existence in the world. What exists does

so for some reason, even if the reason is for you to fight it. It will be nice to withdraw from life or be above it all, but one cannot

do so. Because we are alive, we cannot avoid action and its effects. This is Karma.

There is action motivated by desire, and action undertaken out of a sense of purpose. The first type of action is easy and

does not require reason and self-knowledge. The second type of action is action in the most natural way, the salvation of our

existence, and source of joy, the word for it is Dharma. It embodies the clear and insightful mind capable of choosing the way of

purpose over automaticity of life led by desire.

If Arjun follows his desire not to fight he learns nothing. Instead Krishna tells him to fight the good fight. This is his

duty, his purpose, his Dharma. Krishna explains that his opponents have death coming at them anyways. Arjun is the instrument

(Nimitta) of divine karma.

Reason is the process by which we discover our place in the larger scheme of things, specially the work or action by

which our existence is justified and fulfilled. It is what makes us human beings.

The material life is full of misery, unhappiness and distress, either physical or mental. Everyone craves happiness and runs

after money, fame, power and material things throughout life and yet remains unhappy, unfulfilled till the end. The aim of our life

is to achieve permanent happiness and to end unhappiness. Lord Krishna gives the answer to this predicament in the Gita.

Wednesday Night Practice By Carole Andrews

In response to member interest, ZCB/Clare Sangha started a weeknight practice in February, 2013. It is on the fourth Wednesday

of most months, 7 – 8:30pm at the Towson Unitarian-Universalist Church on the lower level. This practice complements our

monthly zazenkai, normally held the second Saturday of the month, also at the Towson Church.

Our Wednesday practice is simple and quiet. The sitting consists of three 25-minute periods with kinhin between sits,

and (current) text study of Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Shunryu Suzuki, and related material. We chant the Heart Sutra at the end

along with the Great Vows for All. We offer instruction in meditation and awareness practice to anyone wanting it. Wednesday

practice is an opportunity to sit with senior students and meditation mentors, and to prepare for all day practice on Saturdays.

Practitioners often find these meetings a welcome respite from the demands of daily living in our time. All are welcome, including

beginners and newcomers to ZCB/Clare Sangha.

“A Wonderful Act” By Bruce Blackman

After returning to Virginia from work overseas, I volunteered to mentor in a local jail. Mentors were matched to inmates due for

release within six months.

My first client told me he was “framed” in his conviction and wanted to appeal it. Checking, I found an appeal had been

denied which, the client told me, was because of his incompetent lawyer. This tack seemed unpromising, so I inquired about his

plan for transition; he was eligible for release in four months. Though estranged from his family, he felt he had nowhere to go but

home after his discharge. He doubted this could be, but requested I contact his sister, which I did. She and her husband were

disappointed in the brother; there was some hostility from the husband, but also some willingness to consider his moving in with

them. So it was, after a few weeks of phone calls and meetings at the jail, we worked out a trial arrangement wherein my client

could stay with them subject to “keeping his nose clean” and “no monkey business.” He would have to get a job and contribute to

the rent.

"I like not to know for as long as possible because then it tells me the truth instead

of me imposing the truth" – Michael Moschen

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The client seemed satisfied with this arrangement. He still wanted to appeal and clear his name. In our last couple

meetings, we discussed this possibility in detail. He allowed that he had been “in with a bad crowd,” then “in the wrong place at

the wrong time.” But he steadfastly denied any part in a robbery. The more I listened the more sympathetic I became (still

offering my opinion that it’s more useful to look forward than backward). There had been some injustice. I encouraged the client

to devote his efforts to a successful transition that could make an appeal more feasible down the road. That’s how we left it, and

he was soon released.

In those days, mentors were not allowed to contact clients after release. I called his sister who told me the arrangement

was “so far so good,” after the first month. Reflecting, I hoped a strong start outside would help him leave behind the trauma of his

conviction. But my sad sense was this would be hard for him – practical advice from would-be helpers notwithstanding.

A colleague and I exchanged stories of our mentoring experience. From initial cases we agreed that a wise rule for

mentors is to focus on one or two client needs, not attempting all one is requested or might try to do. The colleague recounted his

first client’s interest was to land a job after discharge. As mentor, he arranged a work-release for the client at the “county yard”

twice weekly for a couple months. This helped the client build a current work record for job applications. The client had prior

technical training and work experience in electronic sensors, but feared his skills were rusty from incarceration. He requested –

and the mentor obtained jail approval to lend the client – a couple manuals on sensor technology from the local library. The client

took to reading the manuals, grateful for his resourceful mentor.

The client was released sooner than my colleague expected (mentors were not informed of release dates in those days),

and before he could retrieve the technical manuals. Soon he received an overdue notice from the library. He called a friend of the

client he had met, but no answer. In a month, more overdue notices, the library fines were increasing. “Drat!” he told me, “it

looks like this is a codb (cost of doing business) in the jail.”

I came across my colleague in the jail some weeks later. He told me he had gone to pay the library fines, and was

surprised to find the manuals had been returned and the fines paid. “That’s the best news for me in a long time!” he grinned.

From then on, we laughingly referred to this as that “wonderful act of an ex-inmate!”

I was asked to join the board of directors of the restorative justice agency administering local jail programs – which I did,

while continuing to mentor inmates. Unexpectedly, work with this agency continued through 18 years. My colleague, other jail

workers and I developed and ran courses in emotional awareness and healing, stress management, and yoga/meditation. In a

recent class, we graduated a record 28 participants, all qualifying by their class attendance and participation; the stretching and

breath awareness practices we teach are popular in these trainings. I served terms as board treasurer, president and interfaith

liaison with local churches. The agency won a “Points of Light” award for its work with incarcerated women. The agency is now

concentrating efforts on reentry support. Prisoner release is accelerating as our nation comes to terms with the rising cost of

incarcerating some 25% of the world’s prisoners with only 5% of the world’s population.

I’m glad for the opportunity to work in prisoner assistance these years, and look forward to more of it. Serving on the

board of the non-profit, restorative justice agency was interesting, with many dedicated people. In human service with people doing

time, I like to encourage and witness their promise – as in that “wonderful act” of a former prisoner.

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Founders’ Corner ZCB 20th Anniversary

By Janet Jinne Richardson, Roshi

The legacy is a stitch through a single thread of the canvas: Know Yourself. That stitch is

the anchor, so to speak, and the beginning. Continue as the first and expand: Who am I?

Beginning the next row with a new stitch "I and the great earth and beings------"At the

following row, resume stitching adding: What do I have to share? Widen the area and then

enter the needle into the canvas and pull out an optional number of canvas threads away:

To yourself be true and it follows as day follows night, you cannot be false to anyone else.

Continue, changing the color according to taste, broadening the area covered and

interweaving appropriately. A beautiful, indeed, elegant design!

Now, as some have said, finding out how to stitch and to design is essential. Here

there is a very useful if old description: "To study the Self is to forget the Self. To forget

the Self is to be enlightened by all things. To be enlightened by all things is to drop off the

body and mind of self and others." (Dogen "Genjo Koan") So now it's clear: stitching

and designing have to do with an inherited yet new approach and a new way of doing things! I like that. Just as the value of a

prescription is not the words but the doing, so, too, the legacy's worth.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Janet Jinne Richardson, csjp, recalling Dr. Jim Thomas, from the Eastern Shore, an early ZCB member and creator of needlepoint rugs. He is third from the right in the photo on page 5 of this newsletter. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Roshi Richardson continues mentoring and corresponding with prisoners in Florida. Here is a poem from one of them:

Mockingbird, 6:15 In the predawn blue I stood in a line-up

Waiting patiently on breakfast Prayed up and awake enough to let

The monotone cursing and babble float Past my ears like the forbidden wake-up smokes

Covertly blooming here and there.

A mockingbird sang out too-whee too-whee too-WHEE Just a little out of tune, then chirp chirp chirp – You’d have thought another was there except

For that tell-tale tuning problem Which didn’t feel like a problem so much as that Mockingbird just singing exuberantly, belting out His versions of every birdsong in Hardee County.

They say the mockingbird’s mocking is for the purpose Of defending his spot, but mocking seems judgmental,

And aping, even worse. How many songs have I learned

As my heart heard new lives’ melodies from my own Distant kin, each leaving its subtle print in passing,

Newfound phrases working their way into the warp and Weft of my own high-flying song?

Maybe the mockingbird has learned just enough of his

Neighbors’ moods to share a friendly note or two, While I’m trying to master my own best defense:

None needed, none at all, all welcomed in my arms.

- JK, June, 2012

Founding Teachers, 1992

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Note of Thanks and Encouragement to Clare Sangha’s Board of Directors On Its 20th Anniversary

By Rosalie Jishin McQuaide, Sensei

Dear Friends and Companions Along the Way,

Twenty years yield a great many memories of our Zen practice together,

and commemorating and acknowledging this common endeavor is not only fun

but instructive.

Foremost, is the strong bond of shared effort, the respect for and trust

in each other, the genuine willingness to assist one another in birthing and

sustaining our common practice as ZCB/Clare Sangha. These attributes of

solidarity and generosity, shared among us through the years, provide strong and

sustainable scaffolding for our Sangha’s next 20 years.

In your service as board members, be assured of the gratitude of the

Sangha members, and draw freely upon the legacy of past officers and Sangha

members who have forged the path before you, recalling as you do, the Clare

Sangha “moving” song with words from Basho’s Narrow Road to the Interior,

Along the Michinoku: “Along the Michinoku, every place is wonderful; but in

Shiogama, fishing boats, pulling together, are most amazing of all.”

With congratulations and in peace, Rosalie Jishin McQuaide, csjp

ZCB’s Third Jukai By Kevin Lavey

On March 16, 2013, at St. Raphaela’s Center in Haverford, PA, 15 Zen students from three Sanghas – ZCB/Clare Sangha,

Red Rose Sangha, and the Baltimore Dharma Group – received the precepts in a Jukai ceremony. This third ZCB Jukai

was the culmination of two strands of preparation beginning in

autumn of 2011.

The first strand is studying the 16 precepts or vows to

which the Zen student commits her/himself as an ethical base.

How did the 15 students go about studying the precepts? Ed

Sullivan, from the Red Rose Sangha, was the precept leader. He

created a Jukai Text Study curriculum which outlines guide

questions and texts to study. The ZCB holds a monthly zazenkai,

part of which was devoted to a precept circle in which Jukai

students, and others, would share reflections about the meaning

of each vow.

In his Jukai Text Study, Ed writes: “Some

consider taking the vows as ‘becoming a Buddhist.’ Others see it

as adopting an ethical code which supports and strengthens one’s

Zen practice, such as developing the power of concentration. What does taking the Bodhisattva vows mean to you?” A

central pursuit of the Zen student is to study the self with the aim of realizing and actualizing one’s awakened nature (a

sign of which is dropping conditioned responses to events in one’s life). Students are invited to define for themselves what

receiving the precepts means to them in their life circumstances and conditions. Students enter a tradition, yet how they

live a life in harmony with their ethical awareness is a practice which they must discover, adjust and commit to themselves.

The second strand in preparation for Jukai is sewing the rakusu. The rakusu is a bib-like garment worn around the

neck, a miniature version of larger more formal robes. It is worn by practitioners who have taken the precepts and

indicates a commitment to following them. Alice Magorian, ZCB member and seamstress extraordinaire, with help from

Carole Andrews, guided students through the challenging process of creating the rakusu. This practice goes back to the

Buddha himself who instructed his followers to gather and sew their robes and garments from material thrown away in

trash heaps and garbage pits. While sewing the rakusu, students may reflect on the bare bones character of Zen. Wearing

Sesshin, 2002

First Multi-Sangha Jukai, 1998

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the rakusu doesn’t elevate one to a place of esteem, but instead expresses a communion with simplicity and “embracing a

candidness as plain as bark.”

Zen students sew their rakusu following a pattern, often using black cloth for the neck strap and border of the

rice field. The rice field – the open space front of the rakusu – is made from strips of material students have gathered,

including material given by other people in their lives. On the reverse side of the rice field is white cloth upon which the

Preceptor writes the Verse of the Kesa (robe), the student’s Dharma name, and the time/place of the Jukai ceremony.

Finally, the students create a lineage chart. They write down the line and names of transmitting teachers, starting

with the Buddha himself, on down to the present day and the Jukai student. As with sewing the rakusu, writing the names

requires care and mindfulness. Kevin Lavey guided students in creating their lineage chart.

The Jukai ceremony, then, was the culmination of 18 months of effort. The students receiving the precepts and

members of the three sanghas started their day sitting in meditation. Bruce Seiryu Blackman, Sensei, of ZCB/Clare Sangha,

presided as Preceptor. Grover Genro Gauntt, Roshi, from the Hudson River Zen Center attended as guest teacher. Mid-

morning, Jules Shuzen Harris, Sensei, from the Soji Zen Center, gave a precept talk.

The Jukai ceremony was held in the afternoon. Family members and friends of the students receiving the

precepts attended. Students recited the Heart Sutra from memory and the transmissions initiating the recipients were held.

A powerful part of the ceremony was when recipients thanked members of their sanghas and families for accompanying

and helping them along their journey. Such recognition signifies the interconnectedness of these lay students with their

world outside of the zendo, which in truth is their sangha.

The 15 recipient-Bodhisattvas are: George Campion; Mary Beth Campion; Glen Carswell; Dianna Delucca; Ken

Delucca; Anthony Falcone; David Ganse; John Hebb; Ailish Hopper; Susan Knause; Alice Magorian; Dan Magorian; John

Miller; Mike Shanahan; and Carolyn Young. Congratulations to them all!

Service Projects

The Kindness Project By JoAnna Allen Commenting on his completion of the The Kindness Project, an inmate said, “I have benefited from meditation drastically. Before

meditation I was very aggressive and temperamental. I was a person that would fight at the drop of a hat as soon as anyone said the wrong thing. Now I

am more at peace and less temperamental or aggressive.” Another wrote, “I’ve built up walls through years of chaos. This class taught me that I can

knock the walls down and be a human being. Through me letting my walls down, I don’t see the world as such a harmful place and now I want to

continue to better myself and help others deal with their pain.”

What was The Kindness Project? It was a mindfulness project that ran for almost two years at a

Baltimore area facility, reaching out to 386 inmates and growing to three yoga and five meditation

classes per week by the end of the project. The three objectives of were for inmates to better

discover and understand themselves, to give them tools for managing emotions, and for them to grow

in inner peace. Midway through the ten 6-week series of classes, pre and post assessments measuring

maturity levels and sense of inner peace were administered. The results were unexpected, dramatic,

and heartening.

Each class was 2 ½ hours long but the actual time spent meditating was only a small portion

of beginner classes compared to advanced classes. The components of the project included yoga,

meditation techniques and practice, readings and poetry, journaling, circles for reflection and sharing,

experiential activities, and films. Each week had a theme. They were: Who We are/Why We’re Here, Self-Discipline, Honesty,

Kindness, Forgiveness, and Spreading Loving-Kindness.

Inmates applied to be admitted. By the second February there were over 150 applications. There was enough demand to

initiate separate yoga classes in a gym in order to free up time during the meditation classes. Volunteer yoga teachers assisted in

teaching the yoga. Other volunteers helped to implement the meditation classes.

Materials provided free to the inmates included pens, manila folders, blank journals and a book-- We’re All doing Time by

Bo Lozoff. There was an extensive lending library used exclusively by the meditation students. The journals were used for taking

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notes such as “Meditation is simple, but not easy,” for penning reactions to films such as “Doing Time, Doing Vipassana”, and to

answer unique homework prompts. Poetry emerged from the inmates and also from Mrs. Allen, a new experience for her (see

below).

This was not a religion class but rather intended to be non-sectarian, drawing from truths and practices from multiple

religions and philosophies. Participants ranged from fervent Muslims to an orthodox Jew to many Christians and non-affiliated.

The name The Kindness Project derived from the organization that published the book, The Human Kindness Foundation.

The opening comments in this article are typical of the comments received from inmates on evaluation forms that asked

how they had benefited and for suggestions on how to increase the benefits. Research data collected and analyzed showed that

the classes reduced anger and helped to instill calmness and lessen anxiety. There were unsuccessful attempts to hold meditation

classes for officers off campus as well as yoga classes for them at the jail in response to requests. As an alternative, free yoga for

correction officers was offered at a local yoga studio.

Upon the successful completion of the course, inmates were inducted into the RASK gang in which members were

pledged to do Random Acts of Senseless Kindness (and love) such that they became Mrs. Allen’s RASKals.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ JoAnna Allen is a married householder living in Towson, Md. She has three grown children, was educated at Mount Mary College, Harvard University and Johns Hopkins, served in the Peace Corps, and taught school in Baltimore County for 26 years. She started her two year Kindness Project in 2008. In 2010 she attended the Symposium for Socially Engaged Buddhism sponsored by the Zen Peacemakers in Montague, Mass. In 2012 she volunteered her manual labor in Clare Sangha's project with the St Frances Academy for homeless youth in East Baltimore. She is currently facilitating an Alternatives to Violence Project, and hopes to facilitate another meditation program in the future.

Poetry Poetry and journaling were part of The Kindness Project. Here are six poems, two by the author and four by inmates.

Invitation to Meditate (to my students)

Be my guest, come take a rest.

There are no laws, against a pause,

To go inside, where shadows hide.

No secrets keep, find love that’s deep.

As thoughts arise, like clouds in skies,

Just let them go, away they’ll flow.

Let quiet balm, find peace, feel calm.

The air will clear, as truths appear.

So come, go deep, fear not to weep.

Release your pain, again, again.

Embrace your worth, your path on earth.

To hear His will, be still, be still.

- JoAnna Allen, April 18, 2010

Shower Sanctuary He was late for his special session, so I called again.

The guard in his unit explained Nick had been waiting in the sally

port,

But the escort guard said he should have been ready earlier.

And wouldn’t bring him to me, and now he was in the shower.

I insisted he come and we had a good class--with hair damp and

tousled.

There was a mix-up in the lists that gave 4V men permission to

come.

And the CO told those waiting eagerly -- they weren’t on the list.

So the guys thought they weren’t coming, until I called

To straighten things out. But one of them never got to class,

Because when everyone else left, he was in the shower.

When the women were ready to listen, Connie began her tale

Of the bad news she had gotten, that ended a call to home too

soon,

That reminded her of how little she could do to manage damage

Of water that coursed from floor to floor and ruined her kitchen.

So swallowed by frustration and angst, she sought refuge under

water.

Allofasudden, I finally understood the power of the shower

In a place of public toiletry,

Where a drowning rush of rain

Gives camouflage to sorrows too sad to show.

Where noise and clamor and crowding and stress

Make sanctuaries out of

Blank sterile echoey tiled caves.-

- JoAnna Allen, April 14, 2009

Pleasure and Pain I have lived through

High and low points

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Pleasure and pain

All through my life.

At an early age

The rage was developing.

Was it at 9 years old

Or was it earlier?

Perhaps I will never know.

But through the years

I lost all control.

At the bottom of the pit

Was the answer, death.

Somehow I started to climb.

I wanted to be free of

The anger and pain.

To live in peace and love,

To get back the control I never had.

With baby steps through meditation

I am working on putting the anger

And negative emotions aside.

Anger and rage no longer overwhelm me

I am not alone, I am loved.

- TS, 9/27/09

Zen Judaism Shlamiel, shlamazel

Mitzva, metta, rashi, roshi

Judaism, Buddhism?

What’s with these “isms’?

What’s their Shtikh?

Which one do I pick?

At first I thought Vipassana was mashugana!

Now I see it helps my n’shama,

And metta is my spiritual mikhva.

Oy’veizmeir! Everything is now made clear.

Look deep inside.

Both serve as a good guide.

Combine these two “isms”

And I get instant Zen Judaism!

- RM, 6/21/10

Far and Away Somewhere tonight a woman cries.

She can’t stop thinking about all his lies.

He promised her that the beatings would stop

But they don’t—and it makes her heart drop.

She wants to believe tomorrow will be a better day

But it never is; she doesn’t want him to stay.

He won’t leave her but he won’t let her go.

She begs and pleads but he still says no.

She tries one day to leave it all behind

But he catches her, beats her, drags her back to the grind.

He’s beaten her up and he’s broken her down.

She covers her bruises and hides her frown.

If no one knows, maybe it’s not that bad.

She sits and dreams for the life she’s never had.

- KS, February, 2009

Pitch Black Sometimes quietness is the most relaxing time

One could spend during the day cause In a matter of minutes or hours the quietness will be filled with

noise.

So enjoy the quiet times you have. Take time to think about things done or that need to be done

While your mind is free of noise.

The best kind of quietness for me is Pitch Black quietness, When all the lights are out.

Everything just stands still in meditation in their own way.

Pitch Black is the most relaxing time for me to meditate. Lights and sound create noise.

Pitch Black creates stillness and quiet motionless sounds.

Imagine if the whole world went black. Keepin’ the Head Up!

- EB.com, 3/09

Fukushima By Peter Wechsler

When I heard in March 2011, that a large earthquake had occurred off the coast of Fukushima, Japan, I was deeply

shocked since I had spent a couple of years living there, and returned to visit a number of times. The earthquake was

followed by a tsunami, killing up to 20,000 people, and causing a disaster at a nuclear plant on the coast, releasing large

ZEN PEBBLE | 16

amounts of radiation. The crisis continued for several weeks, and even now is not resolved. I had lived away from the

coast, so the people I knew were not affected by the tsunami, but they were only 30-40 miles from the nuclear plant. I

called the day after the quake, and found that my friends were OK, but as I followed the nuclear plant situation, and

watched videos of the tsunami destroying whole villages, I felt a sense of helplessness at the scale of the tragedy.

The following year I got a call from a carpenter friend, who was overwhelmed with work repairing temples

damaged in the earthquake. He wondered if I would want to come over and help. So I went to work with him for 6 weeks

- as long as I could stay away from my family. I was not exactly a first responder, and my contribution would be modest,

but I wanted to help in some way, and to see how people were coping with the situation.

I was first invited to Japan by a priest, Kohsho Nakazawa, whom I met in 1975 at the Kashin Zendo in

Washington, DC. I don't think he expected me to take him up on the invitation. But I became interested in going to

Japan and took some Japanese language classes. When I wrote him some time later, he was constructing a new building, so

I said I would love to help work on it. The master carpenter was very skeptical, and wrote that this wouldn't be possible,

but I could come and watch. So I went. I remember being jet lagged after my flight and a five hour train trip north from

Tokyo, and also my culture shock at realizing I was in a small city where there were no other foreigners and only the priest

spoke any English. Soon I met the master carpenter, Shoji Yoshida; within a week he brought me tools and I was working

with the carpenters.

It was lonely and difficult at first, but it was a life changing experience. I felt lucky to be where I could learn

traditional carpentry, be part of ordinary Japanese life, and become friends with the carpenter and priest and their families.

I spoke little Japanese, and the carpenters spoke a local dialect, so most of the time I had no idea what was going on. But

the carpenters were patient. I spent a lot of time sweeping up,

holding one end of a beam, or running wood through machines.

After some weeks I was able to sharpen and use a Japanese plane

by hand, and was gradually given more to do, and learned a lot.

I came home for six months, then returned to work

with the carpenter on another temple nearby, and lived with his

family in a mountain village. Eventually I went to Kamakura to

study Zen, returning to Fukushima when I could to visit and help

the carpenter. I also met and became friends with a younger

carpenter, Hatsuo Kanomata, who was working for Yoshida. A

couple years later I returned home to Washington, DC.

After that, I wasn't able to return to Japan for

several years, but finally got a chance to go back and see everyone, and help Kanomata, now a master temple carpenter

himself, with a new job. I was joined by my girlfriend Heidi Welsh, and we returned a couple years later after we were

married. We also went back when our daughters were 2 years and 2 months of age. This time I helped Kanomata with

another addition to Kohsho's temple, and stayed in the temple that I helped build 20 years before. My first teacher,

Yoshida, unfortunately died soon after that, but I returned to help Kanomata in 2008, again joined by Heidi and our

daughters, now 11 and 9.

When I arrived in Fukushima in August, 2012, most of the obvious damage had been cleaned up, and on the

surface things looked fairly normal. Fukushima Prefecture is now connected to Tokyo by a bullet train, and you can get

there in about an hour and a half, but it is still mostly rural. It is a beautiful area, but has been losing population for many

years, as young people go to Tokyo to find better jobs. I’m sure people welcomed the idea of a nuclear plant with good

paying local jobs, but it had a history of problems.

Kohsho's temple, Fuoji, was mostly repaired, except for the heavy decorative tile ridge which came down in the

earthquake, crushing a storage building. Kohsho told me that the earthquake had been so severe he had been unable to

stand up for five minutes, and showed me pictures of the temple right after the earthquake. All the temple buildings

survived, but most of the doors and windows had fallen out, the clay and straw walls were badly damaged, and the

gravestones had all fallen over. It was quite cold when the quake occurred, with snow on the ground, and they had no heat

or water for weeks. Despite the road damage, Kanomata loaded his truck with water and came to see how they were the

day after the quake. He found some plywood to board things up and then worked several months repairing the building.

Kohsho’s Temple

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The village where Kanomata lives is about 30 miles from the nuclear plant, and Sukagawa, the city where

Kohsho's temple is located is about 40 miles. Fortunately there is a mountain between them and the nuclear plant, and in

general the wind was blowing the other way, so the radiation levels weren't as high as in some other areas further from the

plant. Kanomata initially took his family to Sukagawa, but discovering the radiation levels were higher there, they returned

home. The Japanese government established a 12 mile exclusion zone around the plant, and his town became one of the

main resettlement areas. The radiation levels have dropped, but the anxieties continue, most recently with ground water

getting into the damaged reactors, becoming highly contaminated, and ending up in the ocean. This apparently was

covered up by Tokyo Electric Power, the utility in charge of the plant and managing the cleanup. While I was there, a

loudspeaker in the village still announced the radiation levels every day, and the daily readings for every town came on

television along with the weather.

There is now anger towards both the government and the utility, and a distrust of their information. A number

of villages near the plants are abandoned, and their population scattered. Many wish to return, but don’t know when or if

this will be possible. Unlike the US, most of these people have lived in the same places for generations, and someone is

always expected to stay and maintain the family graves, so this dislocation has been extremely difficult, especially for the

elderly. Families with children are also worried about the effects of radiation, and many who can are opting to try for a new

life, far away from nuclear plants. Many schools have been forced to close or consolidate, accelerating the trend towards a

greying population. In Japan, a quarter of the population is over 65, but I am sure it is much higher in Fukushima now.

The rebuilding has created a boom for those in construction, but most people were unable to harvest their rice and

vegetables last year, and concerns about radiation are a long term problem for farmers and fishermen, since people now

avoid products from the area.

Kanomata was working on a small Zen temple that had also been badly damaged in the earthquake. It had a

heavy tile roof, and was leaning about five inches out of plumb, but over several weeks he had managed to pull it back into

position and brace the walls.

Birthday Party at the Kanomata Residence (Peter Wechsler 2nd from right)

He was now building an addition to the rear of the temple, so I worked with him in his shop a few weeks,

preparing the posts and beams, then helping him put it up and under roof. Kanomata was working with a carpenter called

Ishii, 70, who was about five feet tall and worked at a pace I found hard to keep up with.

Japanese carpentry is a discipline one spends a whole life trying to master, so it was great to have another chance

to work with Kanomata. It was also good staying with him and Kohsho and seeing their families and other people whom I

have known for many years. Everyone was older, and remarked on how much older I looked. This brought home the

truth of impermanence, but also made me grateful for these lifelong relationships. I turned 65 while there, so Kanomata

had a party for me, inviting all his neighbors, a memorable birthday.

I played no big role in the community’s rebuilding from the disaster at Fukushima, but I’m glad I went. I think

people liked having someone from outside come to work with them and take part in their daily lives. Talking about service,

the Zen teacher Jeff Shore, who lives in Japan, quoted a newspaper interview with one of the workers at the nuclear plant.

When asked about his motivation for entering the damaged reactors right after the accident, he said someone had to do it,

so he became that person. What I did was far less heroic, but I did feel a satisfaction that I had done what I could, and that

people deeply appreciated it.

ZEN PEBBLE | 18

Peter Wechsler lives in Boonsboro, Maryland, with his wife and two teenage daughters. He has been a member/friend of Clare Sangha since the mid-1990s, previously studying at the San Un Zendo of Koun Yamada-Roshi in Kamakura, Japan. He continues his artisan carpentry work in the mid-Atlantic region as he has in Japan through the years, including recent work with his priest and carpenter friends in their recovery from the Fukushima earthquake.

* * *

In their service, JoAnna Allen and Peter Wechsler responded to what they were witnessing. They freely offered help and wherewithal, adjusting their action to felt needs as they went along. There is a common query in our time: with the hardship and suffering so plain to see in the world today, why don’t more of us respond? One answer is the turning away from it, as expressed in song by Pink Floyd. Another is the discouragement that can come in offering service. Mother Theresa’s poem – Anyway – gives her wisdom for dealing with discouragement.

Letters to Sangha

Letters to Sangha

April, 2013 Dear Members and Friends of Clare Sangha, Happy springtime! May it be a season of renewal in our practice and service to others. The board asked me to write this annual letter on the occasion of our 20th anniversary. Roshi Janet Richardson and Sensei Rosalie McQuaide founded Clare Sangha in 1993.

The Turning Away

By Pink Floyd

On the turning away

From the pale and downtrodden

And the words they say

Which we won't understand

Don't accept it what's happening

It’s just a case of others' suffering

Oh you'll find that you're joining in

The turning away.

It's a sin that somehow

Light is changing to shadow

And casting it's shroud

Over all we have known

Unaware how the ranks have grown

Driven on by a heart of stone

We could find that we're all alone

In the dream of the proud…

No more turning away

From the weak and the weary

No more turning away

From the coldness inside

Just a world that we all must share

It's not enough just to stand and stare

Is it only a dream that there'll be

No more turning away?

Anyway By Mother Teresa

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

*Inscribed on the wall of Mother Teresa's children's home in Calcutta, and

attributed to her.

ZEN PEBBLE | 19

You know, through the years we see people coming to Zen with common concerns and questions. How to find meaning in life in these troubled times? Can one live authentically midst the turmoil and suffering that is so plain to see? We have no fixed answers to such questions, but our aim is to help members and friends experience what is empowering, lifegiving and healing in the practice of Zen meditation and service. Efforts in 2012 included:

Helping students establish a daily meditation and awareness practice. Our ongoing support of Zen 108 helped several more members and friends meet the sangha challenge to sit one hour for 108 consecutive days, establishing a home practice in the process. After completing the 108, many continue sitting the daily hour, finding it brings inner freedom in their life practice. We will recognize them in the next bead ceremony of Clare Sangha. When asked by people around him how they could also become awakened, the Buddha responded Stop, and see! In short, stop grasping, stop your mind from wanting more and more, and just be still. Be still, and you will see. Daily zazen (seated meditation) is how we take up this invitation of the Awakened One, and find the place of peace we long for. The Psalmist enjoins us: Be still, and know. I am what the nations grope toward. I am the earth’s desire. (Psalm 46, Norman Fischer, Zen-Inspired Translations of the Psalms. Penguin, 2001, p.68.) Responding to opportunities for service. In 2012, Clare Sangha helped the St Frances Academy, a private school serving grades K through 12 (founded in 1828 by the first order of African-American nuns), to implement its project for homeless youth in East Baltimore. We thank Kevin McCamant for his leadership in connecting with the Academy and defining how we could assist. Thanks also to Josh Rothschild, founder of Peace in Baltimore, for enlisting the support of like-minded groups, including the Urban Teacher Center. Sangha members and friends provided manual labor for the first phase of the project, starting in June and completing in October of 2012. In the process, several surpassed the volunteer requirement of our Service 108 challenge. We will recognize them in our next bead ceremony. Supporting precept study. Precepts are studied and integrated into our daily practice for the purpose of concentration; for enabling us to “stop and see,” in the words of the Buddha. Fifteen students received the precepts in our third jukai ceremony on March 16, 2013. Recipients memorized the 16 Bodhisattva precepts and the Heart Sutra, thereby internalizing them. When we let the lines become part of us, then in times of joy and in times of sorrow the words arise from within and their truth and power help us. We thank Ed Sullivan of the Red Rose Sangha for leading this training cycle and helping prepare a diverse group for jukai. Participants in the ceremony came from several states: Delaware, Maryland, New York, Pennsylvania and Virginia. As it has for many years, Clare Sangha continues serving individuals and groups in a wide geographic area. Developing links with like-minded groups. All three of the above efforts were accomplished with partnering sanghas. Cooperative programs help all groups provide practice and training opportunities for their members. Partners this year include: Baltimore Dharma Group; Baltimore Shambhala Center; Mindful Way; Red Rose Sangha; and Zen Peacemakers. Clare Sangha continues to grow, thanks to your support. In response to increasing interest and participation, we now offer a Wednesday night practice meeting, along with our monthly day of silence. Both are held at the Towson Unitarian-Universalist Church (www.towsonuuc.org) whose welcoming spirit and hospitality we appreciate. Our board of directors changed this year. We welcome the new officers: President Anthony Falcone; Vice President Kevin Lavey; Secretary Alice Magorian; Treasurer Ed Stokes; Special Projects Andrew Linskey. Immediate past President Carl Pohlner continues on the board as well. Mark Wiess, former President and immediate past Treasurer, has stepped down for a leave of absence from the board. We thank him for his years of dedicated service to the Sangha.

This is the time of year we ask members to contribute annual dues to support the work of the sangha. Tax-deductible dues are used for facility rental, partial scholarships for retreats, teacher travel, insurance, supplies, mailings and related services. We seek to keep these donations affordable as well as sufficient for us to break even across the yearly schedule of programs. Donations this year are again set at $100 for members and $25 for Friends of ZCB and full-time students.

Please write checks to ZCB and send to: Ed Stokes, Treasurer, 3400 Oakenshaw Place, Baltimore, MD 21218. If you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope with your donation, we will send you the Clare Sangha Never Mind bookmark, laminated in bright kelly green and banner blue, by return of post. May the road rise up to meet you and the Way be ever clearer! Nine bows, Seiryu/Bruce Blackman Guiding Teacher

ZEN PEBBLE | 20

December 2013 Dear Sangha Members and Friends, In January 2013, I began my term as treasurer of the ZCB Clare Sangha. I took the reins from Mark Weiss who served us as treasurer for several years. We owe Mark a debt of gratitude for all of the time and effort he dedicated to the financial business of the Sangha.

The Clare Sangha operates on a break-even basis. We set our suggested contributions such that all monies we collect roughly equal our costs, including a reserve for unforeseens and contingencies. That is the case so far this year. We began the year with a balance of operating funds of $6,742, and $1,070 in the Fr. Greg Hartley Memorial Fund. As of November 15, 2013, our balance of operating funds was $7144 , with the same balance of $1,070 in the Fr. Hartley Fund.

If you contribute to ZCB Clare Sangha by check, I am happy to provide a year-end report of your tax-free contributions. Sincerely, Ed Stokes Treasurer

ZCB/Clare Sangha Schedule 2014

Here is our schedule of zazenkais, weeknight meetings and sesshins in 2014:

Event Date/Time Place

Zazenkai Sat, Jan 11, 10-5pm Towson U-U Church (TUUC)

Weeknight Wed, Jan 22, 7-8:30pm TUUC

Zazenkai Sat, Feb 8, 10-5pm TUUC

Weeknight Wed, Feb 26, 7-8:30pm TUUC

Winter Sesshin Feb – Mar, TBA TBA

Zazenkai Sat, Mar 8, 10-5pm TUUC

Weeknight Wed, Mar 26, 7-8:30pm TUUC

Zazenkai Sat, Apr 12, 10-5pm TUUC

Weeknight Wed, Apr 23, 7-8:30pm TUUC

Zazenkai Sat, May 10, 10-5pm TUUC

Weeknight Wed, May 28, 7-8:30pm TUUC

Summer Sesshin June 20-26 TBA

Zazenkai Sat, Jul 12, 10-5pm TUUC

Weeknight Wed, Jul 23, 7-8:30pm TUUC

Summer Break August

Zazenkai Sat, Sep 13, 10-5pm TUUC

Weeknight Wed, Sep 24, 7-8:30pm TUUC

Zazenkai Sat, Oct 18, 10-5pm TUUC

Weeknight Wed, Oct 22, 7-8:30pm TUUC

Fall Sesshin Nov – Dec TBA TBA

Weeknight Wed, Nov 19, 7-8:30pm TUUC

Zazenkai Sat, Dec 6, 10-5pm TUUC

www.zcbclaresangha.org info@zcbclaresangha.org register@zcbclaresangha.org

Note: As all arrangements are temporary, our schedule is subject to change.

Remembering Gry Esho Gambert

By Zen Peacemakers Who Knew Her

Born in Norway, Gry Esho Gambert began her Zen training in the early 1990’s at the Zen Community of New York with

Roshi Bernie Glassman. She received the 16 bodhisattva precepts there. In 1998, she and her family moved to Baltimore.

Esho founded the Baltimore Dharma Group in 1999, and was instrumental in founding the Buddhist Network of Greater

Baltimore soon after.

ZEN PEBBLE | 21

Over the years, Clare Sangha and the BDG have collaborated in practice and

precept study. Esho helped us prepare for our second Jukai ceremony in 2009. She was

subsequently named a Dharma Holder in the Clare and Zen Peacemaker Sanghas. Esho

died of brain cancer in January 2012. Below are remarks given at the memorial service in

her family residence, officiated by Dai-en Bennage Roshi of Mt Equity Zendo.

February 3, 2012:

“We of Clare Sangha thank the Gambert family – Steve, Iselin and Christopher

– for hosting this gathering, and giving us all a chance to remember and to celebrate Gry

Esho’s life. Thanks also to Dai-en Roshi for leading this service. After brief remarks, I

will read out two messages received this week from Zen Peacemaker teachers who also

knew Esho and want to participate in this celebration from afar – from Massachusetts and

New Jersey.

I met Esho 12 years ago at a Buddha Day celebration in Baltimore. My first

impression was how dedicated she seemed. As I came to know her better, this impression proved quite accurate. She was

devoted to teaching students what she knew from years of training with Bernie Glassman Roshi of the Zen Community of

New York, and with Dai-en Bennage Roshi of the Mt Equity Zendo.

Another impression of Esho was her kindness. We in Clare Sangha held our first Jukai in 1998. When we started

work toward another in 2007, not much was recalled from the first one. Esho kindly offered to assist in the preparations,

including rakusu sewing, and facilitating our Jukai in late 2009. And at that time, in a collaboration with Roshis Glassman

and Bennage – recognizing her decade of successful teaching – Esho was named a Dharma Holder in the Zen Peacemaker

tradition.

She was committed to compassionate service with others. We compared notes on our work with prisoners –

hers in the Balto jails – mine in county jails in No. Va. We were planning some sangha work in Maryland prisons, but we

ran out of time. Sayang! as they say in East Asia – such a pity. In my last visit with her, she appreciated mention of this

observation of SN Goenka whose teaching and prison work we both admired:

“Vipassana teaches the art of dying: how to die peacefully, harmoniously. And one learns the art of dying by learning the art of

living: how to become master of the present moment.”

Esho was present to the end. May her memory be for a blessing,

Seiryu/Bruce Blackman

Clare Sangha, Maryland

* * *

Dear Steven, Iselin and Christopher,

This dewdrop world

Is but the dewdrop world

And yet – and yet…- Issa

All come and go, nothing and no one remain the same. Still we cry from pain, and other times we weep from joy.

When we think of Gry Esho, kindness comes to mind. Clarity and compassion come to mind. Purpose and

persistence come to mind. Most of all, grace comes to mind.

There was always a lot of doing and arranging and creating around Gry when she was a member of the Zen

Community of New York in Yonkers. But behind the energy and activity, there was a smile that started small, and then,

almost despite itself, widened into brilliance.

With Buddha’s miraculous powers, all creations are benefited.

In these days marking your loss, Steven, Iselin and Christopher, please accept our deepest love and gratitude for

sharing your Buddha with us.

Bernie Glassman and Eve Marko

Zen Peacemakers Sangha, Massachusetts

ZEN PEBBLE | 22

To the family, sangha, and friends of Gry Esho Biong Gambert,

I and the entire Lincroft Zen Sangha joins you in your celebration of Esho’s life and in the feeling of loss. Back in 1994, when we

were just Merle and Gry, the task of completing a rakusu seemed completely beyond me. Gry generously guided me through the

whole process, and I have felt a bond with her ever since.

It was wonderful to come full circle and have her guide the Jukai recipients of my own Sangha in a similar way. She

infused our precept practice and Jukai ceremony with generosity and joy. She transmitted her courage as well.

Thank you for sharing her last words. Her life was a gift to us and to many practitioners of the Dharma.

Deep bows,

Rev. Merle Kodo Boyd, Lincroft Zen Sangha, New Jersey

Credits:

Page 1, “In the World,” from the Ten Oxherding Pictures of Zen.

Page 9, Enso: the Village Zendo, New York.

Page 22, ZCB Logo: Marjean Irwin, Baltimore

Page 22, Enso: Peggy Campbell, Ottawa

ZEN COMMUNITY OF BALTIMORE

CLARE SANGHA

Bruce Seiryu Blackman, Sensei

Anthony Falcone, President

Carl Roji Pohlner, Immed. Past President

Kevin Lavey, Vice President

Alice Magorian, Secretary

Ed Stokes, Treasurer

Andrew Linskey, Special Projects

Mike Shanahan, Registrar

Carole Andrews, Head Monk

Pebble breaks the still surface of a pool;

Wave crashes on a distant shore.

ZEN PEBBLE COMMITTEE Bruce Blackman

Holly Blackman Brooks

Kevin Lavey

“In Zen practice we say that we do our sitting meditation not for ourselves but for the world." —Roshi Bernie Glassman