Winter/Holiday 2014-15

Thoughts on My Son, Stephen Joseph Leach It has been five and a half years since we lost our Stephen (a.k.a. “Smiley Pete” and “Big Heart”). I remember when he wrestled. He weighed 103 lbs. and was 5’8”. He would diet the day of a match to stay at 103 even though he was at 4 percent body fat. He would lose every match, but still wanted to wrestle every week. That’s when I knew Stephen had a bigger heart than anyone I ever knew. By the way, I never pushed or thought Stephen would want to wrestle. Thank God he only did it for one year so he could beef up to 120 lbs. !I love talking about Stephen as I believe all parents enjoy talking about their children. My belief is that it is my place to bring him up in conversations as if he is still with us on Earth. It took time, but I know who I am since Stephen passed. I’m a man who can cry at anytime. I cry thinking of my son, I cry when holidays come, I cry when I’m happy, and I probably cry in my sleep. The flow of tears can be controlled more now that some time has passed. I’m glad that controlling tears has come, because this allows me to speak of Stephen clearly and keep conversation with people about him without them feeling uncomfortable. Well, there you go—Stephen’s BIG HEART helping me and thinking of others. !It has been a roller coaster ride for five years and six months. Thankfully the anxiety of the big drop has lessen and it’s more the turns of the ride we go through now. Seems weird to say we are happy, but this is the new and best happy. We laugh now when we didn’t in the past. We’re starting to actually see other people again and re-enter their lives. No longer in a cloud and unaware of others problems. Our eyes have opened to the world again to take a few more steps forward. The tears cloud our eyes now and then, hopefully to help us see crystal clear later. !This sad journey is a marathon, not a sprint. I can’t stop before the finish, if I did how BIG would my HEART be? What I do know for sure is Stephen will be with us forever. In our thoughts, in our prayers, in daily routines, and in our future. Obviously not physically but inside us. I guess that’s where a BIG HEART should be! Love you Smiley Pete!!! !Love You Stephen Forever ❤ ️ Your Dad !—Paul Galitskie Member, TCF of Greater Providence !

In Memory of Our Children As long as we live, our children too shall live, for they are part of us in our memories. We lovingly remember the following children on Their Anniversary.

Brandon Bellucci Brandi Lyn Burgess Richard W. Buteau Ronald S. Buteau Megan Caron Jon Converse Anne & John D’Ercole Jamie Dale Ebert

Kyle Fish Nicholas Gershkoff Rebecca Greene Todd M. Hallworth John Anthony Koczan Dino Ludovici Margarett June Marchand Taylor M. Marshall

Charles McMahon Kelly Salisbury Stephen Smith John Taglione Michael Varone Alexander Gonsalves Veiga

Angeline Nayah Antoine Travis Battle Steven Joseph Caito Henry Clemence

Christopher Jacob Costello Marc T. Fears Alan T. Lemay Michael V. Medeiros

Louie Moynihan Rose Block Shatz Rowan Christopher Williams

November

Geoffrey Hugh Beattie Vickey Branco Meghan Cooney Dina Davis

Karyn DeLuca Pete C. Falso, Jr. Christopher Higgins Michael Marzilli

Nicholas Messier Kevin Munroe Brian Squadrito Karen Michelle Young

January

December

OUR MISSION: To assist families toward the positive resolution of grief following the

death of a child of any age and to provide help to others to be supportive.

Birthday Remembrances We celebrate the day they were born and hold them in our hearts forever.

Abby Aukerman Alison Bowman Vickey Branco Henry Clemence Jon Converse Karyn DeLuca Kyle Fish

Marissa Gardner Erika Hall Charles McMahon Candace Mendes Joseph A. Pari Allison (Allie) Remarski Gregor Smith

Jonathan Stack Zachary Stiness Samantha Walsh Beau Wennermark Rowan Christopher Williams !

NovemberCaitlyn Marie Adler Joseph Allard Michael Barry Steven Joseph Caito John David Bartholmew Cinquegrana Meghan Cooney

Dante Cappelli Anne & John D’Ercole Todd M. Hallworth Michael Latraverse Dino Ludovici Margarett June Marchand Christopher J. Meehan

Frank Osborne, Jr. Kelly Salisbury Naryah Santana Joshua Turcotte Bobby Wallas !

December

Patrick Cannon Matthew A. Cardillo Luigi Civitelli Christine Grinavic Jamie Mayer

Rachel Elaine Morris Jason G. Naylor Martha Noble Marc Daniel Pinzon Christopher R. Shippee

Alexander Gonsalves Veiga Terry Wallas Karen Michelle Young !!

January

Todd M. Hallworth  –  Forever  Loved  and  Remembered.  Mary Elaine Ackaway – Love, Mom

Paula Jane Torrico – Love Always, Mom and Dad Anthony Stephen Casale – Forever in my Heart

Daniel Erik Schuster – Loving you forever and missing you every day. Bobby “Bo” Desmet – Forever in our hearts. We miss and love you, Love, Mom, Terri and Tiffani

Karyan J. DeLuca Dugan – We remember you with such joy. Your Loving Family Christopher Boone – Happy Birthday

Marc Daniel Pinzon – Missing you! The Pinzons Rose Block Shatz – In Loving Memory of Our Daughter

Kaitlin Ryan Goldstein – Miriam Hospital Main OR and Staff Angela Rose Sbardella – I love you, all day, every day, Dad

Angela Rose Sbardella – Thinking of you, Pete Khoury Alan Lemay – Love, Mom

Nathaniel Asselin – Love, Mom and Dad Nathan Parker – Love, Mom !

Thank You for your donations in memory of Our Children.

Gifts & Remembrance Garden Love GiftsA Love Gift is a living memorial ! your child. Usually given on bir#days, anniversaries of #eir dea#s, holidays, or just ! remember. Our #anks ! #e following for #eir generous dona$ons.

The following donations were made in memory of Donald Anthony Capasso to the TCF

Remembrance Garden: Mr. & Mrs. Richard Boscia

Mr. & Mrs. Gaetano Aglione Lori and Anthony Zona

Guarino Family Bert and Janice Pellegrini Joseph and Angela Feula

Donald Capasso, Sr. Kathy Pingitore Friends Ellen and Mark Capasso

Louis Feula Joseph, Diane, and Alexandra Comella

Richard/Brenda Leone James/Doreen Ahigian and Family

Thomas and Julie Ferranti

A special donation was made from Adler Brothers Construction for the

upkeep of The Compassionate Friends’ Remembrance Garden !

In memory of Caitlyn Marie Adler

2014 TCF Calendar Raffle Winners

Congratulations to following winners of the 2014 October calendar raffle: !October 1 Ruth Verber #139 October 2 Ray Vincent #73 October 3 Albert Guarnieri #153 October 4 Jacqueline Pelletier #52 October 5 Craig Valliere #154 October 6 Doris Desmet #54 October 7 Teresa Converse #102 October 8 Linda Chase #63 October 9 Doris Ead #79 October 10 John Schewchuk #49 October 11 Tony Civitelli #111 October 12 Tony D’Arezzo #152 October 13 Lisa DiPalma #113 October 14 June Cook #150 October 15 Lori Bessette #34 October 16 Maureen Ritz #71 October 17 Tammy Pelland #37 October 18 Audrey Royer #23 October 19 Linda Gray #64 October 20 Susan Parker #21 October 21 Barbara Lemay #93 October 22 Ronald Bernier #53 October 23 Karen Johnston #122 October 24 Carmen Rodriguez #110 October 25 Roberta Dickenson #81 October 26 Lucille Valliere #159 October 27 Mike Choquette #28 October 28 Darlene Spragye #98 October 29 Diane Meschisen #140 October 30 Darlene Sprague #99 October 31 Judy Martin #25 Koczan Family Christmas Tree

at Slater Park The Koczan family is once again inviting all Chapter members to help decorate their family tree at Slater Park in memory of their son John Anthony Koczan and all the Angels of the Compassionate Friends. The decorating will be December 4 at 1 p.m. at Slater Park in Pawtucket. If you have an ornament with a picture of your child, you may bring it to the meetings on November 10 and November 24 or to the park on the day of the event. If you have any questions, you can email Betty Koczan at bettykoczan@yahoo.com.

Candles in the Night

Candles flame in darkness, flicker, steadily glow,

bringing light from shadows and help to soothe me so.

My daughter, like the candles, gave my life true light.

I use the candle’s beacon to connect us in the night.

As I light the candles, my wish and my request

is that she'll see my signal and know my love's expressed.

As her light joins my lights, our worlds touch and flame. As I snuff out the candles,

I softly say her name.

—Genesse Bourdeau Gentry from Stars in the Deepest – After the Death of a

Child

Join us for the TCF Worldwide Candle Lighting, Sunday, December 14, 2014 We will take part in our annual Worldwide Candle Lighting on Sunday, December 14, 2014 at 6:00 p.m. this event will take place at the Central Congregational Church at 296 Angell Street, Providence, RI. At this event, we come together with friends and families for a special program that includes a soloist providing beautiful music to ease our pain, as well as readings from our members that speak of hope, and love we have for our children. The highlight of the event is lighting a candle and saying our child’s name as we go around the room, which begins promptly at 7:00 p.m. When you light your child’s candle this begins a wave of light for 24 hours around the globe in memory of our precious children. !You are invited to bring a picture or remembrance of your child to be placed on our table where we all gather for friendship and support following the program. Refreshments will be served. We also ask that you bring an unwrapped toy to be donated to children who are in need during the holiday season. !If you would like your child’s picture included in the slide show, please email up to three photos to Becky Sheldon at bsheldonri@hotmail.com or send them by mail to her at 43 North Capalbo Drive, Bradford, RI 02808. Please make a copy of your pictures also write your child’s name on the back of each picture before mailing them, but they will be returned to you the night of the candle lighting, or at the January support group meeting. If your child has been part of this slide show in the past, those pictures will remain in the presentation. !Sharing with the group has helped us get through many holidays and given us strength and healing to keep going. Each passing event tells us that we can survive. And remember that the anticipation of any day is often worse than the actual day itself. !All questions can be directed to Lucille at 401-231-9229 or lcvalliere49@cox.net or Sheila at 401-272-6267 or sheilac252@cox.net.

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!10!Dail!Drive!North!Providence,!RI!02911! Return!Service!Requested!

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Love Gift Donation

Name:_________________________________________________________!!!Address:______________________________________________________!! ! ! ! ++City:+___________________________State:+________Zip:_____________++In+Loving+Memory+of:______________________________________________________ !Birth!Date:!___________________________Death!Date:______________________!!Love!Gift:!$__________!Message:______________________________________________________________!_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Your+tax>deductible+donations+help+defray+the+costs+for+the+Newsletter,+postage,+and+other+chapter+expenses,+and+help+for+others+who+are+grieving.++Your+donations+are+greatly+appreciated+and+will+be+acknowledged+in+the+newsletter.+Checks+are+to+be+made+payable+to+TCF+Greater+Providence+Chapter.+

+Send+Donations+to:+

Co>Leader:+Lucille+Valliere,+10+Dail+Drive++N.+Providence,+RI+02911+

+

Name _______________________________________________________________ !Address _____________________________________________________________ !City _________________________________________ State ______ ZIP ________________ !In Loving Memory Of _______________________________________________________________ !Love Gift $ ______________________ Message __________________________________________ !___________________________________________________________________________________ !I would like my Love Gift to go toward (please check one): General Chapter expenses Upkeep of our Remembrance Garden !Your tax-deductible donation provides help for those who are grieving. General Chapter expenses helps defray the cost for the newsletter, postage, and other Chapter expenses. Upkeep of our Remembrance Garden goes toward lawn care and garden maintenance. Your donation is greatly appreciated and will be acknowledged in this newsletter. Please make your check payable to: TCF Greater Providence Chapter. !Please send donations to: Co-Leader Lucille Valliere 10 Dail Drive North Providence, RI 02911 !

Remembrance Garden Walkway Engraving Dedication Ceremony !On Sunday, September 21, 2014, we dedicated 38 new names to the stone walkway in our Remembrance Garden. The names of 296 of our beloved children are now represented in this lasting way for all who visit the garden to remember. Thank you to everyone who joined us at this very moving and beautiful ceremony. Here are a few highlights.

10 Dail Drive North Providence, RI 02911 !tcfprovidence.com

Upcoming Events !Our regular support group meetings take place on the second Monday of each month. All meetings begin at 7:00 p.m. at the Central Congregational Church, 296 Angell St., Providence, RI. !• November 10 – Ladies’ and Mens’ Night • November 24 – Coping with the holidays • January 12, 2015 • February 9, 2015

Sunday, December 14, 6:00 p.m. – Worldwide Candle Lighting Ceremony, 296 Angell St., Providence, RI.