the woman in power or
TRANSCRIPT
THE WOMAN IN POWER OR
POSITION: THE HOME FRONT
By
Mrs. Funmi Babington-Ashaye, FCII
MD/CEO
02/02/2009 1
MD/CEO
RISK ANALYST INSURANCE BROKERS LTD
This material is property of Risk Analyst Insurance Brokers Ltd.
Introduction
� Who is the woman in power or position?
� What constitutes the home front?
� Can a woman combine corporate success with efficient
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Can a woman combine corporate success with efficient
management of the home front?
� How can a woman be in position or power and still win?
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Introduction(contd)
� In the corporate world, to be in power is to have the
authority to call the shot;
� In that capacity, you have the executive powers to act
without seeking clearance or authority from a higher
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without seeking clearance or authority from a higher
level.
� In essence, you are the chief executive officer from
whom all the authority flows.
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Introduction (contd)
� You have the authority to positively reward or sanction
subordinates.
� You take full and final responsibility for the decisions
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� You take full and final responsibility for the decisions
taken.
� Effectively,the buck rests on your table
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Introduction(contd)
� To be in this position in the corporate world requires:
� Good education;
� Ambition;
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Ambition;
� Focus; and
� Will power to stand up for your principles.
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Introduction(contd)
� In the home setting, the woman is hardly in
position or power. The man is divinely the boss
� To a married woman, her husband is the head of
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� To a married woman, her husband is the head of
the family from whom all authorities flow
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Introduction(contd)
� The extent to which the woman is involved in decision
making depends largely on
� The relationship between a wife and husband
� The husband’s level of education
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� The husband’s level of education
� The Economic power of the woman
� The woman’s level of education
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Introduction (contd)
� To a single parent(woman), she exercises all authority in
her home without recourse to anyone.
� However, the absence of a father figure may affect the
extent to which she can control her kids
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extent to which she can control her kids
� Admittedly, single parenthood is alien to the African
culture
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What Constitutes the Home Front
� From the foregoing, the players in the home front will
vary.
� To the married woman, the home front consists of
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� The husband
� The children
� The Extended family members.
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What Constitutes the Home Front
� To the single parent, the home front consists of
� The children
� The Extended Family
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The Extended Family
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Giving defines Femininity
� These aforementioned important parties exercise great
pressure on the woman which she must strive to balance
� For instance,
� what should a young married woman do if her
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� what should a young married woman do if her
husband wants to move overseas to advance his
career even if it disrupts or derails her own?
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Giving defines Femininity (contd)
� Should she be yielding, loyal and cheerful or should
she object and be forceful?
� What happens when her husband’s business
meetings last long into the night, and there is no
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meetings last long into the night, and there is no
parent at home with the children unless she leaves
the workplace early?
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Giving defines Femininity(contd)
� What happens when both of them return home at the
same time (probably late in the night) and the wife
is expected to move straight into the kitchen to cook
while the man goes to the living room to watch
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while the man goes to the living room to watch
movies or listen to the network news?
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Giving defines Femininity(contd)
� How do you manage a situation where you are on
duty in the night, for instance, as a female doctor or
nurse when your husband is at home?
� If this continues on a regular basis, what
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� If this continues on a regular basis, what
implications do these have for your marriage and
home?
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Giving defines Femininity (contd)
� Pursuit of career by women is socially condoned only if
they have first satisfied the needs of all family members:
husbands, children, elderly parents and others.
� If this requirement is not met, women’s ambitions as
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� If this requirement is not met, women’s ambitions as
well as their femininity will be called into question.
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Giving defines Femininity (contd)
� In her compassionate and supportive roles, she must
provide something for the other person, be that person a
husband, a child or a member of the extended family.
In essence, giving is the chief activity that defines
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� In essence, giving is the chief activity that defines
femininity.
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The Place of Women in Society
� From creation, the roles of the man and woman were
clearly defined:
� Man was made the head/leader
� The woman was made as a reliable, dependable
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� The woman was made as a reliable, dependable
supporter who can adapt to the changing
responsibilities of her husband.
� Even as the Lord charged the man to love the woman as part of his
flesh, He also directed the woman to submit totally to the authority
of the man.
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The Place of Women in Society (contd)
� Historically but unfortunately, in nearly every nation and culture,
women have been regarded:
� as inferior to men, holding a secondary place in the world;
� Objects for sensual gratification alone;
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Objects for sensual gratification alone;
� Weak; incapable of real strength;
� Lacking in intelligence and therefore having nothing to
contribute to society.
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The Place of Women in Society (contd)
� The personal property of men.
� Personal servants, whose only purpose is to meet the needs
of their masters.
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� Objects to be passed around until finished with, and then
discarded.
� Deserving of abuse.
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Fighting these Prejudices
� I love being a woman; I have never wanted to be anything
but a woman.
� That’s why I’m dismayed when I see women focus on the
idea that as women we are victims.
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idea that as women we are victims.
� We can choose NOT to be victims, but rise above the
circumstances that threaten to redefine our purpose in life.
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Fighting these Prejudices (contd)
� We have two choices, we can throw up our hands and
surrender to life’s cruel ways and become victims or
� We can shake off the terror, stand a bit taller and say to
ourselves, life isn’t fair? So what?
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ourselves, life isn’t fair? So what?
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Fighting these Prejudices (contd)
� I have what it takes to fight my battles, and with hardwork and
dedication, I can create the life I choose by myself.
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dedication, I can create the life I choose by myself.
� I don’t need to lean on others except God.
� I have everything I need to fight here inside – That is the moment of
discovering your “FEMININE FORCE”.
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Fighting these Prejudices (contd)
� In my view, the road to success for the average career woman is
bumpy, stressful and challenging to her intellect, physique and
character.
� However, if the woman endures, she would inevitably shine like a
million stars.
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However, if the woman endures, she would inevitably shine like a
million stars.
� After all, except a woman is prepared to experience and endure the
pangs of childbirth, she cannot enjoy the joy of motherhood.
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Fighting these Prejudices (contd)
� According to Martin Luther King (Jr.) “the ultimate
measure of a man (woman) is not where he(she) stands
in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he
(she) stands at times of challenge and controversy”.
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(she) stands at times of challenge and controversy”.
� You must stand up and be counted as professionals who
endured and became winners in a man’s world both in the
boardroom and in the home front.
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Management of the Home
� A woman must manage her home to avoid a broken
marriage and ill-bred children.
� Since we all desire good children and the accolades that go
with having them, hiring of house-helps to achieve this
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with having them, hiring of house-helps to achieve this
ideal cannot be an option
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Management of the Home (contd)
� The outcomes in many instances have been embarrassing
and unpleasant.
� Some house-helps are known to have “taken over” the
homes of their madams/ogas while some others have
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homes of their madams/ogas while some others have
influenced children with bad behaviourial traits.
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Relationship with Spouse
� There is this adage behind every successful woman, there is an
understanding husband, with all the support and encouragement and
vice versa.
� Women need the support and co-operation of their husband to be
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� Women need the support and co-operation of their husband to be
successful.
� Almost every successful career woman I know struggles with issues
of balance.
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Relationship with Spouse (contd)
� Creating our own identity and blazing our own trail takes
time, heart and space. It takes focus. It takes resolve,
guts, patience e.t.c
Is there any space left for love?
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� Is there any space left for love?
� You must create the time if you want your husband’s
support and co-operation.
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Relationship with Spouse (contd)
� Finding out that you can nurture yourself and nurture
others – despite all the demands of your particular
circumstances is one of the biggest rewards of tapping into
your inner abilities.
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your inner abilities.
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Relationship with Spouse (contd)
� A good marriage takes commitment; the love you put into
it returns to you and replenishes itself – over and over.
� We must recognize that “at work, we may be the boss, but
at home, we are the wife and mother” and submit to our
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at home, we are the wife and mother” and submit to our
husband. Husbands want to be respected.
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Conclusion
� Women today are struggling with the delicate balance of
� attending to the needs of both their families and their
careers,
� job competition with men,
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� job competition with men,
� emotional turmoil and
� lost income due to divorce, single parenthood,
� conflicts stemming from cultural changes in the way
women and men interrelate.
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Conclusion (contd)
� Some women are confused about what a woman
should be and how she should conduct herself because
they’re not sure what a woman is supposed to be
responsible for anymore.
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responsible for anymore.
� In my view, women should be winners in all areas of their
lives.
� The Proverbs 31 woman is God’s ideal and I believe and
know that if truly you are willing and obedient, you will
eat the best of the land.
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Conclusion (contd)
� It is possible to become that Proverb 31 woman, which is
God’s aim for all women. If it were not achievable, God
wouldn’t have placed it in the Scriptures.
� In other words, the pride of a woman should rightly be in
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� In other words, the pride of a woman should rightly be in
her husband and the home that she keeps.
� Such a peaceful home will form the basis for building a
virtuous society
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Conclusion (contd)
� In spite of these, the pride of a woman should rightly be in
her husband and the home that she keeps.
� Such a peaceful home will form the basis for building a
virtuous society
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virtuous society
� How to keep your home as a female professional is not an
insurmountable challenge. It can be effectively managed.
� It requires patience, obedience, love and sacrifice
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THANK YOU
� Q & A
02/02/2009 35This material is property of Risk Analyst Insurance Brokers Ltd.