the waking of a thousand twinkling lights

8/12/2019 The Waking Of A Thousand Twinkling Lights

1/27

The Waking

Of AThousand

TwinklingLights

by Neha Singh


2/27

Warning:

fires

never

start

on their own


3/27

Prolonged Eye Contact From Opposite Ends Of The

Cafeteria

yesterday I watched you eat nothing at lunch again

you continue to solemnly stare into nothing

and there are kinder ways that I could be spending my time

but this timeyour mouth opened up into a

wide, uninhibited, sincere smile

and every atom of my being

lit up until I looked like too many Christmas lights packed too

densely together and

you caught my eye

I shone brighter than what is scientifically possible

and shattered into a million microscopic pieces

simultaneously while simple

confusion and discomfort painted your face

for four beautiful seconds

my insides remained warm for the rest of eternity


4/27

The End Of Everything Is Very Close But Dont Be Too

Happy

the fragile, temporary universe breathes through

a shape shifting reality

and you?

the little, desperate gasps escaping from your toxic jaws

simple proof

you are

inconquerable


5/27

The Size Of The Universe Is Subjective

i.

she kind of looked at you like your skin was seeping something

beautifully otherworldly and you kind of didnt look at her at

all

ii.when you told me I was yours my entire existence shrunk to the

size of the mole on your chin

can I be the mole on your chin

iii.

the propensity of emotion you are

embedding in the crevices of my being is

incomprehensible and overwhelming but

please please dont stop

iv.

the small bits of your ever so effortless

eerily perfect facewear indifference so well

v.

you smiled vaguely in her general direction

she was as vast and as star-filled

as our beloved universe


6/27

Haikus For Haiku-less Situations

I spilled my coffee

this regrettable morning

your eyes diverted

-

tissue paper sits

in your quiet, dampened mind

she collects herself

-

countless atoms live

in the space between your home

and reality

-maybe you should try

pretending that Im, in fact,

here to help you out.

-

my breath quickens as

the sun shifts slightly in theunforgiving sky


7/27

And Maybe I Was Wrong

there are pieces of me you could destroy

that is the bulk of everything youve ever been

the nostalgia the hopelessness the enticement

oh let me entice you

the entitlement

oh let me title you

the inevitability

oh let me end you

and she sleeps with her head turned sideways

pale and frozen and sorry

and there are daggers hidden in the cracks of your skin

and there are daggers hidden in the waists of your lovers

and there are pieces of me you have destroyed


8/27

there is a distinct sort of

sweetness in solidarity

your breath tastes sweeter but you also kind of devoured

every ounce of love I had for you with canine, bloodied

teeth so

never have I seen eyes filled with such relentless,

bloodlusty thirst

it knows no mercy

you know no mercy

sometimes when I wake up the taste of your kind, honey-

laced words rests on the softest part of my tongue

I inevitably choke and

the memory of you fills me with a burning desire to burn

any semblance of feeling I have

go ahead

envelop my entirety in defiant, tinted kerosene

light a match

Envisioning A Future Without The Burden Of Your Face


9/27

Everything Will Be Just Fine As Long As You

when was the last time you were disemboweled?

his mouth opened like a wound words came tumbling out the

iciness of the morning did nothing to stop him a sizeable

mountain of meaningless fragments rose above his feet his chest

his head

until he was no longer visible

she apologized once

twice

three times

again and again and again softer and softer and softer until heunderstood

they sat on the grass no words no coats

and watched the magnolia sunset


10/27

It Is Hard To Be Solid And Alone

the face defeat wears is not a

pretty

one

then again

success is much

uglier

her face

marked and disfigured

what would you like, dearie?


11/27

My Feet Begin To Hurt And Then Suddenly Im Beyond

Pain

its a transcendental life

said someone sometime somewhere

the details arent of utmost importance

dont look at me like thatjust because he left beautiful blue fingerprints

in the shifts of my spine

does not mean I remember the

inexplicable amount of tenderness

with which his fingers

pressed into my soft, malleable skin and

dont look at me like that

((sometimes the worst of times

involves delicious, palpable, self-indulgent

pain))

your heart is loud and uncomfortable and unapologetic

what are you going to do


12/27

A Fragmented Sense Of Reality Is Dangerously Cool

i.

flecks of purple flutter onto the snow covered pavement

are you seeing what Im seeing?

ii.

I met youmy hands trembling (earth-shatteringly) with anticipation

your eyes an unbelievable purple

your heart unbelievably nonexistent

iii.

you disappeared like a magic trick that seems to impress no onebut me

I thought perhaps we could make it work

I thought I could fix you maybe you could learn to love someone

(read: me) but I forgot to consider your willingness to participate

in this idealistic endeavor of mine

iv.

all my hopes of ever truly figuring out the intricacies of your

brain burst from my core into Earths atmosphere

bits of purple precipitate with the snow


13/27

You Can Eat My Shoes But Leave My Feet Alone

tomorrow is a new day

she says, smiling like every secret desperately grasped within the

mouths of terrified children is interlaced between her lips,

I promise


14/27

Open Lines Open Times Open Mouths

shaking is a fun pastime

it keeps you occupied and appears to be

involuntary

it appears to be

impulsive

involuntary and impulsive

the opening line of your biography

the next line being:

she kicked herself in the face eternally and thats why shes

always crying

(this is also the last line)

I was never able to properly open my mouth

I have never spoken a single word

what stories you heard

were not

mine


15/27

You Arent Alone In This

okay?

(you shook imperceptibly)

the world is a dark and glorious place

come experience it with me

(louder and louder and louder)

there are corners you havent felt,

sights you havent heard,

breaths you have not lost

and I want to lose mine with you

(they dragged on and on pulling at your sides)

I wish I could see the most impassioned version of yourself

the open intellect

the unapologetic adventurer

(you just wanted to stay)

((please))


16/27

The Inevitability And Instability Of Certain Moments

ice rests between your teeth

open velocities open moments

my hands move quickly

quickly

quickly

your breath steams through the atoms concentrated in the space

between us little streams of your essence melt on my skin

chant:

is it working

is it working

is it working

is it working

please is it working

I am shifting in the strangest, most unappetizing ways but you tie

your insides to mine anyway

((we are ununderstanbly gloating and glimmering and

grandiose))


17/27

Things Are Most Often Smaller Than They Appear

you crushed me with

shifts in the mindset of a larger context

small beats in a larger universe in a larger organism in a larger

heart in a larger

nothing

water slips down your throat gratefully, its oxygens clinging to

you, its hydrogens blending with you

we are all small

you are the weight of empty air


18/27

Voices

lose yourself

silk specters

speak in

sickly sweet

symphonies

(your mind is engulfed in cavities)

no one will find you

this time


19/27

Dreaming Is The Easy Part

I always wondered where you got it from

your always dry eyes

the potential to do so much

yet the desire to do none of it and

I took your words at face value

I thought we had an understanding

I thought the boundaries of your heart were more open andinfinite

I thought you were an entity that was beyond human

no matter how good you smell or how vast you make yourself

the tides are pulled always by what you have done

and there is a perpetual, cyclical burning in the soles of my feet

and there is the unfeeling emptiness of indifference carried by

yours


20/27

Tremors In Your Spine Should Be Left Alone

making you stay proved to be a futile task

energies and synergies are unfortunate products of a shifting

world

and it is high time

you amped up

and cooperated

with the endless obscurities


21/27

You Can No Longer Walk In Single File

ants upon ants

strut up your shoelaces

one by

one by

one by

one

they claim to have never meant any harm

the roaring itch in your foot

begs to differ


22/27

The Lights Too Soft, Not Dim Enough

look a small procession of blanket apologies isnt going to get

you anywhere

I am used to pity

it is charged in every piece of my molecular buildup

it is branded into the inner parts of my skin

you are just an extra pulse in my system

just another mark on my interior

you are nothing new

nothing

different


23/27

The More Infinite We Are

i.

we are all part of

this vast entity of emptiness

you had better start acting like it

ii.

she spoke in murmurs as the inequity of her face became more

apparent with the passing hours

with the passing hours

she learnt to not speak at all

iii.

a faceless name with little to say

now where have you seen that before

its overused and tired and broken

now you shouldnt fix what isnt broken but

never fix what is


24/27

Speak Up Please

maybe the ends of the ocean are tired of meeting the shore over

and over and over

and maybe the entropy of it all is appealing in its own sense;

disorder has always been meant to be

find me the quietest place on earth where not a single floorboard

creaks where the wind never rattles itself where you can hear the

sound of your heart straining to beat constantly where the

pressure of the silence nearly bursts your eardrums

that is where I will stay

I just wanted some peace and quiet but my brain spurs and winds

and gears chunkily along never stopping to breathe never

stopping to open up a little

hey, just open up a little


25/27

Too Much Too Soon

you said you spoke quietly but you yelled quite loudly yesterday

an improper resignation is in order I think

one of regret and remittance

and what do you know about keeping to yourself


26/27

Behind Closed Doors

extinguish

and

radiate

on your own


27/27

picture on title page is of an infrared view of M16s Pillars ofCreation taken by M.McCaughrean and M.Andersen of the

American Institute of Physics (AIP) for the European Southern

Observatory (ESO) and can be found here: http://www.eso.

org/public/images/eso0142b/

thank you so much for reading!!!
http://www.eso.org/public/images/eso0142b/http://www.eso.org/public/images/eso0142b/http://www.eso.org/public/images/eso0142b/

the waking of a thousand twinkling lights

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