The Unwritten Rules of Persuasion

Jamie Turner Author | Speaker | CEO

Jamie.Turner@60SecondMarketer.com

The Science Behind Words and Actions that Engage and Influence Others

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I’ve written a few books

I get on TV sometimes

And I’ve helped a few clients you

may have heard of

But the thing I love to do most is to help people like you

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In-Depth Reading

“The only form of ethical persuasion that exists is when the goals of the persuader are

aligned with the goals of the persuadee.”

— Tristan Harris, former design ethicist for Google

Harvard Business Review rated the ability to communicate the most important fact in making an executive promotable — more important than ambition, education, hard work, and even technical skill.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.

You can, however, make him thirsty.

How Humans Behave• They FOCUS on a desired outcome.

• They assign MEANING to that outcome.

• They tie their EMOTIONS to the meaning.

• They make DECISIONS based on the emotions.

• They take ACTION based on their decisions.

Sally: What brings you in today? Eric: Well, I think it’s time I get in shape. Sally: Yes, and you’ve come to the right place. Eric: Well … that’s what I’m trying to figure out. I’ve got some other options to look at still. Sally: But you’re here! Obviously, there’s a good reason for that. Eric: You’re the closest gym to my house. Sally: Yes, and we have five hundred other locations worldwide, too. Obviously, a gym membership doesn’t do you any good if you don’t ever go, right? Eric: Yeah, I’ve gone down that road before. (A negative thought. Time for a But eraser.) Sally: But somehow I get the feeling this time is totally different for you. Tell you what, let me give you a tour, and then we’ll come back here and I’ll show you some numbers.

Sally and Eric at the Health Club

3 Steps to StartWhen possible, answer each of the following questions before you begin the conversation, a pitch, or a presentation:

• Step 1: What action do you want them to take?

• Step 2: How do they need to feel in order to take action?

• Step 3: What do they need to believe in order for them to feel that way?

Finding the first “yes.”

Use Tag Questions — which are written with question marks, but delivered as statements.

“Isn’t the weather great today?” “The Olympics has been fun to watch, right?” “Aren’t you glad it’s Friday?”

Practice LY-ing

Start sentences with “obviously,” “clearly,” or “naturally.”

Other Tips• Backtracking: Using what people have

said as a way to get a little yes. “You said you’ve gone down that path before?”

• Nodding: If you are nodding your own head while delivering a statement, the person you’re speaking to is much more likely to nod themselves.

• Barnum Statements: A generalization that is true for everyone. “At times, you are withdrawn and quiet, while at other times you are outgoing and personable.”

Use the word “But” to erase previous statements.

“But” at a Glance• A “but” erases what came before it and enhances what comes after it.

• This power is often accidentally misused, but when used intentionally, it can have a very positive impact on the outcome of communication.

• Intentional But Erasers can help to overcome a soft “no.”

• Combine “yes” and “but” during a dialogue to create a nearly hypnotic effect.

• “And” (which is the opposite of “but”) can be used to eliminate the But Effect as well as link an agreeable idea to a less agreeable idea — making the less agreeable idea more likely to be accepted.

Using “But” Effectively• “I know you don’t like to wash the

dishes, but I also know that you like doing nice things for your mom when she’s stressed.”

• “I know it seems everyone is asking you for money this time of year, but I also know that you’re one of the most committed contributors to the organization.”

• “I know you’re busy, but you’ve got to see this.”

“And” Linking• “And” links two ideas together as

one.

• Taking a positive, agreeable statement, and linking it to a less agreeable statement in order to minimize the impact of the less agreeable statement.

Sally: What brings you in today? Eric: Well, I think it’s time I get in shape. Sally: Yes, and you’ve come to the right place. Eric: Well … that’s what I’m trying to figure out. I’ve got some other options to look at still. Sally: But you’re here! Obviously, there’s a good reason for that. Eric: You’re the closest gym to my house. Sally: Yes, and we have five hundred other locations worldwide, too. Obviously, a gym membership doesn’t do you any good if you don’t ever go, right? Eric: Yeah, I’ve gone down that road before. (A negative thought. Time for a But eraser.) Sally: But somehow I get the feeling this time is totally different for you. Tell you what, let me give you a tour, and then we’ll come back here and I’ll show you some numbers.

Sally and Eric at the Health Club

The power of suggestion• Dentist: “I’m going to put your chair back,

but you may become so relaxed that you’ll want to fall asleep.”

• Financial Advisor: “I’m gong to lay out all your options, but you may want to take my advice on a specific option.”

• YouTube Sales: “I’m going to show you how this works, but you may find yourself pulling out your phone to place an order.”

The power of the word “because.” When she said “May I

use the copier?” 60% said yes. When she

said “because I’m in a rush” 94% said yes.

Amazingly, when she just said “because”

93% still said yes.

Using “Why” to allow people to fill in their own “because.”

Why do you think it’s important to attend executive development meetings?

“Because” at a glance• “Because” is magical because it satisfies

the brain’s need for a link between cause and effect.

• “Because” doesn’t always need a logical or compelling reason behind it in order for it to be effective.

• Leaders — Make sure your team members understand the organization’s “because” in addition to their own “because.”

• Salespeople — People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.

What is one of the best ways to connect with someone?

Ask for help.

Don’t underestimate the power of words like “let’s” and “we.”

Persuasion via Q&A

Persuasion via Q&A• Open questions encourage discussion (e.g.,

“What are you looking for in a car?”). Closed questions narrow the focus (e.g., “What do you like about this car?”).

• Permission questions open up a situation (e.g., “Do you mind if I ask about cars you already own?”).

• Magic wand questions explore what the person answering wants or desires (e.g., “If money were no object, what kind of car would you own?”).

• Catchall questions build bridges to the next phase of the process (e.g., “Do you mean something like this car?”).

• Jamie is a fractional CMO for organizations that are trying to solve marketing problems.

• In that capacity, he works with businesses that need a seasoned executive, but that don’t need a full time CMO.

• He also speaks at events, trade shows, and conferences around the globe.

• You can reach Jamie at 678-313-3472 or at Jamie.Turner@60SecondMarketer.com

Let’s Open Up a Dialogue, Shall We?

Jamie Turner Author, Speaker, and

CEO of SIXTY and 60SecondMarketer.com