the uc personal statement:. adds clarity, depth and meaning to information collected in other parts...
TRANSCRIPT
The UC The UC Personal Personal
Statement:Statement:
• Adds clarity, depth and meaning to Adds clarity, depth and meaning to information collected in other parts of the information collected in other parts of the UC applicationUC application
• Is part of the comprehensive review Is part of the comprehensive review process. process.
The Personal StatementThe Personal Statement
• The UC personal statement is your chance to tell the University The UC personal statement is your chance to tell the University who you are and what is important to you. who you are and what is important to you.
• View this as an opportunity. It is an opportunity to introduce View this as an opportunity. It is an opportunity to introduce yourself in your own words.yourself in your own words.
• Take Your Time!!Take Your Time!!
• Be open. Be reflective. Find your individual voice and express Be open. Be reflective. Find your individual voice and express it honestly.it honestly.
• UC’s are looking for evidence of your intellectual curiosity and UC’s are looking for evidence of your intellectual curiosity and your interest in personal development.your interest in personal development.
Purpose of the Personal Purpose of the Personal StatementStatement
A Message From UC A Message From UC FacultyFaculty
• While it is acceptable to receive feedback or While it is acceptable to receive feedback or helpful suggestions, applicants’ personal helpful suggestions, applicants’ personal statements statements should reflect their own ideas should reflect their own ideas andand be written by them alone.be written by them alone.
• Don’t let a parent write it for you!Don’t let a parent write it for you!
• We can tell if it’s not student work…We can tell if it’s not student work…
InstructionsInstructions• There are two prompts. Students must respond to BOTH.There are two prompts. Students must respond to BOTH.
• Students respond to both questions.Students respond to both questions. A maximum of 1,000 words totalA maximum of 1,000 words total
• Students choose length of each response.Students choose length of each response. If students choose to respond to one prompt at greater If students choose to respond to one prompt at greater
length, the shorter answer should be no less than 250 length, the shorter answer should be no less than 250 words. words.
Describe the world you come from Describe the world you come from —— for for example, your family, community example, your family, community oror school school —— andand tell us how your world has shaped tell us how your world has shaped your your dreams and aspirations. dreams and aspirations.
• This is about you, so focus on the dreams and This is about you, so focus on the dreams and aspirations. Don’t get caught up describing Rocklin.aspirations. Don’t get caught up describing Rocklin.
• This prompt could read - “What are your dreams and This prompt could read - “What are your dreams and aspirations and what is aspirations and what is oneone thing that influenced them?” thing that influenced them?”
Prompt #1Prompt #1
Prompt 1 TipsPrompt 1 Tips• ““World" is a versatile term. What really makes up your "world"? Is it your World" is a versatile term. What really makes up your "world"? Is it your
team? The local animal shelter? Your grandmother's kitchen table? Your team? The local animal shelter? Your grandmother's kitchen table? Your church? The pages of a book? Someplace where your imagination likes to church? The pages of a book? Someplace where your imagination likes to wander?wander?
• Focus on "how." How has your world shaped you? How do you connect Focus on "how." How has your world shaped you? How do you connect your environment to your identity. Then project forward and imagine your your environment to your identity. Then project forward and imagine your future.future.
• Focus on you. You may have a brother with a disability who perseveres Focus on you. You may have a brother with a disability who perseveres through life and is an inspiration to you, but remember this is your through life and is an inspiration to you, but remember this is your application, not his.application, not his.
• Avoid the obvious. Thousands of students could write an essay about how Avoid the obvious. Thousands of students could write an essay about how their supportive parents helped them succeed. Make sure your essay is their supportive parents helped them succeed. Make sure your essay is about you and isn't something that thousands of other students could have about you and isn't something that thousands of other students could have written.written.
Prompt #2Prompt #2
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution accomplishment, contribution oror experience experience that is important to you. What about this quality that is important to you. What about this quality oror accomplishment accomplishment makes you proud makes you proud and how and how does it relate to does it relate to the person you arethe person you are??
• This prompt could read: “Who are you, and what one thing This prompt could read: “Who are you, and what one thing are you most proud of that exemplifies who you are are you most proud of that exemplifies who you are today?”today?”
Prompt 2 TipsPrompt 2 Tips• Consider what makes you proud. Then determine the Consider what makes you proud. Then determine the
experience, quality, accomplishment, etc. That lead to experience, quality, accomplishment, etc. That lead to this.this.
• How has what you are writing about shaped you as an How has what you are writing about shaped you as an individual?individual?
• Negative experience is okay as long as it is not a Negative experience is okay as long as it is not a complaint or excuse and that something positive was complaint or excuse and that something positive was gained that you are proud of.gained that you are proud of.
• Write about something that is personally significant to Write about something that is personally significant to you, not just what you think sounds impressive.you, not just what you think sounds impressive.
Additional CommentsAdditional Comments• Use Additional Comments box for Use Additional Comments box for
clarification, expansion on important clarification, expansion on important details:details: Additional names/schools/transcript Additional names/schools/transcript
irregularityirregularity Visa issueVisa issue Additional exams taken or certificates earnedAdditional exams taken or certificates earned
This is NOT an extension of the Personal Statement.This is NOT an extension of the Personal Statement.
Important StrategiesImportant Strategies
• Answer the prompt!!Answer the prompt!!
• Avoid the list.Avoid the list.
• Balance pride and humility. Don’t make excuses.Balance pride and humility. Don’t make excuses.
• Reveal your character.Reveal your character.
• Get good feedback.Get good feedback.
Be PersuasiveBe Persuasive• Present your information and ideas in a Present your information and ideas in a
focused, deliberate and meaningful focused, deliberate and meaningful manner. Provide specific, concrete manner. Provide specific, concrete examples to support your point. examples to support your point.
• Your job is to persuade the reader that you Your job is to persuade the reader that you are a creative, ambitious, and unique are a creative, ambitious, and unique individual who will contribute to the individual who will contribute to the intellectual vitality and cultural life on intellectual vitality and cultural life on campus.campus.
Think Like an Admissions Think Like an Admissions ReaderReader
• Readers are friendly professionals who want to admit Readers are friendly professionals who want to admit you.you.
• Readers are looking for answers to questions they have Readers are looking for answers to questions they have regarding the application.regarding the application.
• Readers are seasoned professionals who can spot Readers are seasoned professionals who can spot baloney.baloney.
• Readers know nothing about you except what’s on your Readers know nothing about you except what’s on your application. application.
• Remember you do not know your readers, so steer clear Remember you do not know your readers, so steer clear of divisive issues such as social issues, religion and of divisive issues such as social issues, religion and politics.politics.
TipsTips
• Don’t try to impress. Be sincere and write Don’t try to impress. Be sincere and write in your voice. in your voice.
• Write to create and share the emotions of Write to create and share the emotions of your passionyour passion
• Embrace this opportunity for the readers to Embrace this opportunity for the readers to “meet” you. You want them to feel as “meet” you. You want them to feel as though they know you.though they know you.
CautionCaution
• No sarcasmNo sarcasm
• Don’t use offensive languageDon’t use offensive language
• Be careful with humor Be careful with humor
• Avoid being “cute” or “perky”Avoid being “cute” or “perky”
• Don’t write about another person! Don’t write about another person!
• Remember humility is much more pleasant Remember humility is much more pleasant that hubris.that hubris.
Common PitfallsCommon PitfallsFLUFFFLUFF
Theater did not come naturally to me, and I felt remarkably self-conscious and nervous the first few times I set foot on stage in the eighth grade. My best friend had talked me into auditioning for Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.
I have to admit that theater did not come naturally to me, and I remember that felt remarkably self-conscious and nervous the first few times I set foot on stage. The first time I was on stage was in the eighth grade when my best friend talked me into auditioning for our school’s performance of the play Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.
BetterBetter
The length of your essay is limited and you want The length of your essay is limited and you want your words to be impactful, not filler.your words to be impactful, not filler.
Common PitfallsCommon PitfallsVagueVague
Not only do I find basketball fun, but the sport has helped me develop my leadership and communication skills, as well as my ability to work with a team. As a result, my love of basketball will make me a better business major.
I like a lot of things about basketball. For one, the activity allows me to develop abilities that will help me in my future endeavors.
BetterBetter
Avoid words like “stuff”, “things”, “aspects”, “society”, Avoid words like “stuff”, “things”, “aspects”, “society”, etc.. They leave the reader guessing. Your essay etc.. They leave the reader guessing. Your essay should answer questions, not create them.should answer questions, not create them.
Common PitfallsCommon PitfallsClichésClichés
Throughout high school, I have tried to emulate my brother. He takes his responsibilities seriously, yet he is generous when dealing with the shortcomings of others. This combination of reliability and graciousness makes others turn to him for leadership. My own successes in high school are due largely to my brother's example.
My brother is one in a million. If given a responsibility, he never falls asleep at the wheel. When others fail, he is not one to make a mountain out of a molehill. To make a long story short, throughout high school I have tried to emulate my older brother and I credit him with many of my own successes.
BetterBetter
Clichés diminish the essay's message and reveal Clichés diminish the essay's message and reveal the author's lack of creativity.the author's lack of creativity.
Common PitfallsCommon PitfallsVerboseVerbose
The game was close. I won't receive credit for our win, but I did pass the ball to my teammate who scored the winning goal. He shot the ball through the narrow space between the goalie's hands and the upper corner of the goal post.
The game was spectacularly wonderful. I didn’t score the defining goal, but I did manage dexterously to pass the ball to my amazingly talented teammate who adroitly kicked it between the goalie’s desperately reaching fingers and the rigid frame of the right-hand corner of the goal.
BetterBetter
Strong verbs, not adjectives and adverbs, make your essay Strong verbs, not adjectives and adverbs, make your essay come to life. Two or three adjectives or adverbs in every come to life. Two or three adjectives or adverbs in every sentence, are indications of an immature writer who is trying sentence, are indications of an immature writer who is trying too hard to impress the reader.too hard to impress the reader.
Did you answer questions Did you answer questions or create questions?or create questions?
• Review your applicationReview your application• Read your statementRead your statement• Did you create more questions?Did you create more questions?• Did you answer questions?Did you answer questions?• Did you show a theme?Did you show a theme?• Did you demonstrate an ability to Did you demonstrate an ability to
contribute to the vitality of a campus?contribute to the vitality of a campus?
Always keep in mind…Always keep in mind…• The readers will know nothing about you except what The readers will know nothing about you except what
they will get from your application and your personal they will get from your application and your personal statement.statement.
• It is critical that you read, and reread, your own writing It is critical that you read, and reread, your own writing then ask multiple people for feedback.then ask multiple people for feedback.
• DO NOT attempt to write a story intended to make the DO NOT attempt to write a story intended to make the reader feel bad for you. Your goal should not be to try reader feel bad for you. Your goal should not be to try and gain admissions through pity. Mainly because it will and gain admissions through pity. Mainly because it will not work. Your goal is to give the application reviewer not work. Your goal is to give the application reviewer concrete reasons for why they should accept you into concrete reasons for why they should accept you into their university.their university.
Last Thing (from UCI)Last Thing (from UCI)• Don't stress out trying to write the ultimate Don't stress out trying to write the ultimate
personal statement. There is no single right way personal statement. There is no single right way to write a personal statement that will guarantee to write a personal statement that will guarantee your acceptance into a university. There is only your acceptance into a university. There is only the best personal statement you can write for the best personal statement you can write for yourself. As long as your personal statement yourself. As long as your personal statement gives a clear and accurate representation of who gives a clear and accurate representation of who you are as a person, then you've accomplished you are as a person, then you've accomplished your task. That is the best personal statement your task. That is the best personal statement you can write.you can write.
