the secret sauce for conflict resolution or how to negotiate with the devil
TRANSCRIPT
The Secret Saucefor Conflict Resolution
Or How To Negotiate with the Devil
Goals
• Recognize the Values Conversation• Determine What Is REALLY Going On• Artfully Negotiate a Lasting Resolution• Laugh
Everything in Negotiation and Problem Solving Is About Values
Story Time
• Once upon a time …
• Based on the story what do you think of each
of the people involved? • What values are coming into play?
Values
Exercise
• List ALL Your Values• Cross off 3• Cross off all but the Top 3• Cross off all but the Top 1 • YES. All but the Top 1
All Conflict is About Values
• Values are Always Positive
• Cannot Be Traded or Compromised
• Can Be Met In A Variety of Ways
Distinguishing Proposals from Positions from Values from Issues
Proposals – The expression of how “my needs get met”
Distinguishing Proposals from Positions from Values from Issues
Position- The explanation the stance a person takes. What they have decided upon.
Distinguishing Proposals from Positions from Values from Issues
Value / Motivation- our internal needs and wants.
Distinguishing Proposals from Positions from Values from Issues• Issue- What people argue about. Big Topics
The Devil Is In the Details
“ A proposal is generally wrapped up in a position that hints at the issue but does not address the value or the internal motivation of the person making the proposal.”
The Devil Compels Choices
Effective Negotiation as a method of resolving tension and conflict involves articulating then racking and stacking values.
Identify – Verify – Organize
Negotiating is about Articulating Values then Racking and Stacking Those Values - Hopefully for MUTUAL Benefit.
Negotiating : 3 Easy Steps
1. Ask – Clarifying Questions
2. Repeat – What You Heard
3. Respond – Yes, No, Counter
Cheers to Jeanette Nydenwww.jnyden.com
Successful Counters
1. Include YOUR values
2. Have verifiable data
3. Also meet the EXPRESSED values of the other
Hurrah to Bill Lincoln for this.www.cri.cc
Call to Action
• Write down 3 insights
• Detail how you will put the insight to use
• How will you measure your success
• Who will you share your knowledge withand why?
Goals
• Recognize the Values Conversation
• Determine What Is REALLY Going On
• Artfully Negotiate a Lasting Resolution
• Laugh
More Resources
[email protected]: CarolNBowserLinkedin: Carol Bowser
Blog: The Workplace Conflict Expert SayseNews