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The Pursuit of Being Happy

Simple Ways to Create More Meaning and Deep Fulfillment

Happiness…it can sound trite, but it has recently become a serious part of scientific study in such fields as Social Science and Positive Psychology. Why? Because evidence shows that when we’re happy, we’re naturally more:

• Successful • Calm • Focused • Healthy • Engaged • Productive • Satisfied in our relationships

How we define happiness is unique to each person and informed by your values and what is most important to you. The Merriam Webster dictionary defines happiness as “a state of well-being and contentment”.

And still, there’s one caveat often overlooked: feeling happy takes work (i.e. chasing euphoria – a short-lived option), while being happy is organically ingrained (i.e. maintaining buoyancy during stress – both a long-term and sustainable option).

As reported on Happify Daily, recent research suggests trying to feel good all the time actually undermines our ability to feel good at all, since what we expect (all the time) isn’t physically possible for most individuals.

Instead, Assistant Professor of Psychology at Hiram College, Dr. Acacia Parks says, “happiness is a combination of how satisfied you are with your life (i.e. finding meaning in your work) and how good you feel on a day-to-day basis.”

This leads us to ask two questions:

• How satisfied are you with your life currently – as it stands? • How good do you feel on a day-to-day basis even in the midst of challenges?

These questions are important as they help you to focus and be more aware of your current level of happiness. When we’re aware, we have more choices available to us.

Another critical component that enables you to experience more happiness, in addition to awareness, is to understand you can control who you’re being. How you feel about yourself, a situation, or a relationship will determine the course of action you take.

So, you ask, what steps can you take to be happier? We’ve put together six ways you can “be happiness…” aligning your mind, body, and spirit.

1 Sound Mind, Sound BodyAccording to an article in Greater Good, happiness contributes to physical wellbeing in the following ways:

• Protects your heart • Strengthens your immune system • Counteracts stress • Incites fewer aches and pains • Improves wellbeing for those with disabilities and/or disease • Contributes to longevity

Conversely, there is significant evidence that physical activity releases “feel good hormones” that have emotional, mental, and physical benefits according to the World Psychiatry online journal.

Stress negatively impacts your ability to be happy. Melanie Greenberg, PhD and author of The Stress-Proof Brain says, “The ability to successfully manage stress is one of the most important skills that you need for happiness and success in today’s rapidly changing world.”

Physically moving your body is the remedy for your routine. So, get the blood pumping and the muscles toning, and you’ll naturally be grinning from ear to ear.

2 Mind Your WordsAs a child, you may have been told to mind your manners. In the same vein, it’s critical to also mind your words. Language impacts our genes, our brain, and our cognitive function. In other words, what you say to yourself and to others carries weight.

Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman, authors of the book Words Can Change Your Brain, explain the bridge between our verbal cues and the biological “domino effect” that ensues:

Positive words, such as “peace” and “love,” can alter the expression of genes, strengthening areas in our frontal lobes and promoting the brain’s cognitive functioning. They propel the motivational centers of the brain into action, according to the authors, and build resiliency.

Conversely, hostile language can disrupt specific genes that play a key part in the production of neurochemicals that protect us from stress. Humans are hardwired to worry — part of our primal brains protecting us from threats to our survival — so our thoughts naturally go here first.

However, a single negative word can increase the activity in our amygdala (the fear center of the brain). This releases dozens of stress-producing hormones and neurotransmitters, which in turn interrupts our brains’ functioning.

2 Mind Your Words ContinuedConsider keeping a language journal for a few days. Jot down words or phrases you notice you’re using that negatively impact how you feel (and who you’re being – as in your reactions to situations or people). When you’re done, go back through and write a positive word or phrase beside the negative one.

Adopt this positive re-frame in order to rewire your brain. For example, if you stub your toe, in the past you may have said, “I’m so stupid for not paying attention.” You could rewrite that as, “I’m becoming more aware of my surroundings.”

3 Make excuses…Yes, we said excusesFollow the wisdom of Doug Kisgen, Live Lead Play podcast guest and author of Rethink Happy: consider being willing to give up.

He isn’t suggesting writing off happiness by any means. He recommends focusing our efforts on either giving up something for others or giving up a habit that doesn’t lead to happiness. We don’t need evidence, though there is data on this, to know that volunteering or finding other ways to help someone else simply makes us“feel” better.

But, how do we “be” better? Kisgen suggests that investing time in giving up a vice can also lead to experiencing more happiness.

“Put your behaviors or choices into the three buckets of Start, Stop, and Keep. Then make a decision to work on stopping or starting something today,” he says.

4 Like Attracts Like If you’re not a huge fan of exercise, all is not lost. A 75 year-long study on adult development by Harvard shows relationships play a major role in contributing to health and happiness. “The conclusions are simple. Close relationships can make or break a person’s well-being,” according to Robert Waldinger, Harvard professor of psychology and director of the center behind the study. Michelle Gielan, Live Lead Play podcast guest and speaker for the World Happiness Summit agrees. “Social support is the greatest predictor of long-term levels of happiness we have in the research.”

And a Kaiser study recently showed that breast cancer survivors with strong, positive social connections had improved (or higher) survival rates.

Happiness is definitely a team sport – our biological make-up needs heart to heart, human to human connection. So, next time you’re enjoying small talk at the water cooler, just think of how you’re up-leveling your happiness quotient. “Being happiness” can be both fun and relaxing if you choose it.

5 Garbage In, Garbage Out Gielan, a former news anchor, notes that we should be mindful of our “mental diet” and notice what thoughts we’re taking in from the world around us including the news and social media.

“We found in our first study that just three minutes of negative news in the morning can lead to a 27% higher likelihood of you having a bad day as reported six to eight hours later.”

Researchers at the University of Pittsburgh also concluded that “highly idealized representations of peers on social media elicits feelings of envy and the distorted belief that others lead happier, more successful lives.” This is a psychological phenomenon also known as “social comparison”.

The bottom line: be consciously aware of the messages and the mediums that you choose to consume. Notice how you feel after hearing or reading something potentially “toxic” to your moods. Just like eating a heart-healthy breakfast, what might be different if you started each day with a positive thought, instead of jumping into the morning news or your Facebook feed?

Switch that dial – make it a lifestyle choice – and adjust the volume on your life to protect your bliss. After all, it’s the most precious commodity we have.

6 Live A Meaningful LifeIf we’re seeking happiness we may be operating from a space of lack, feeling like something is missing. This can lead to a self-imposed judgment that something is wrong with our life. And when seeking to fill a gap there can become an attachment to this idea of trying to “feel whole” again. Yet, happiness isn’t a feeling to be chased… it’s in the being and the choosing to “show up” with gratitude for all the good things we do have.

Luke Iorio, Live Lead Play contributor and host of the podcast, The Meaningful Way, has interviewed many “A” list thought leaders and philosophers on the subject. In all of his interviews, one theme pops up time and time again: everyone intrinsically desires more meaning over money and more meaning over material assets.

According to Iorio, “your values, and leaning into them, are what moves the needle forward toward being happiness. Bliss is an inside job, not an outcome or goal to sprint towards, and certainly not something to be manufactured by way of force or with artificial means.”

6 Live A Meaningful Life ContinuedResearchers Emily Esfahani Smith and Jennifer Aaker are of the same camp touting, “the happy life and the meaningful life differ.”

Case in point… this applies not only in our personal life but also in the work we choose to do.

In a survey of over 2 million people in more than 500 jobs by the organization PayScale, those who reported finding the most meaning in their careers were clergy, teachers, and surgeons — difficult jobs that don’t always cultivatehappiness in the moment, but that contribute to society and bring those doing them satisfaction.”

So, what drives you? What convictions do you stand for? How deeply are your values present in your life? If happiness is a natural byproduct of finding meaning, how can you instill this magic “M” word into your day-to-day endeavors?

Want more?

Be sure to follow the happiness movement. Check out the first annual World Happiness Summit, and stay up-to-date with inspiration by visiting LiveLeadPlay.com, your source for coaching and guidance, actionable steps, and the creative license to live your best life.

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