The Personal Essay How to tell the college admissions office or the human resources director who you are beyond the application

Purpose of the Personal Essay

  It is one of “The Standards”   It tells a prospective college admission board

something your application cannot   It tells a prospective employer something

your application cannot   It focuses the decision maker on what you

want them to know   It helps you eliminate fluff and BS   It is a space to reveal a subjective truth

Personal Essay prompting

•They want to know what skills or traits you have that will help them. •They want to know why you want to go to school/work here?

Questions extremely varied Response goal is the same

Actual Applications

The UC Personal Statement Prompt

The Common Application Personal Essay Prompt

Every Career Employer Everywhere: 1. Tell us a little something about yourself, or 2. Do you have any questions, or 3. Is there anything else you’d like us to know before we

make our decision? (Typically an oral response, 1 minute or so…about 200-300 words)

Topics are endless. Time is not.

Start with some brainstorming :

• Adversity that prompted positive change • Struggle followed by success • Struggle followed by failure (and response) • Epiphany moment (a new truth) • If you could do anything/be anywhere/be with anyone? • Strongest unwavering trait (belief? philosophy? ritual?) • Most important non-school activity

• Unrecognized accomplishments • Distinct attribute, quality, skill • Largest external influences

Narrowing to a single Topic

  Important  Not found on your

application or records   Supportable   If controversial, will

focus on you  Memorable

The best topic to write about will be something:

Drafting

Three things to help put pen to paper:   Focus on a single positive quality. There

are many, many applicants. Your job is to give the decision maker an easy connect from you to the school/job.

  Think about you. That is what this is about. Ask others to tell how you exhibit this quality – especially in a social pressure situation (again, connect you to the school/job).

  Tell a story. A narration of a real-world example of your subjective truth can cement that connection.

 Revise, Revise, Revise…

Preparing a complete Draft

  Start Strong. Many decision makers will only take one or two minutes to ingest this information.

  Keep the Focus Narrow. You have to connect you to this school or job in that short time span.

  Be Specific. One story of one event. True, not my usual preaching, but this is an exceptional circumstance.

  Be You. When writing, write as yourself, not like a descendant of Roget or Faulkner.

  Prove it. I am dedicated. I see, and I am the King of Ireland. Your story/essay will prove your claim. I, of course cannot.

  End Strong. How? Connect your points. Connect you to the school/job.

The Gone Method: Eliminating Word Count Fluff

Mr. G’s combination of fluff eliminators from the Purdue University Writing Lab “Paramedic Method” and Oxbridge Writing Centre

(editors educated at Oxford and Cambridge).   Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into, that,

which, etc.)   Draw a box around the "is" verb forms, including "was" and

"were" (these normally make the sentence passive).   Ask, "Where's the action?"   Change the "action" into a simple verb   Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking whom)   Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups   Eliminate any redundancies. (You can normally delete many

adjectives and adverbs without changing the meaning of the paragraph.)

An Example

The Purdue Paramedic Method (found at OWL)

Now You Try

Use the Gone Method in the sentences below to practice making your sentences more concise.

  The point I wish to make is that the students studying at this school are in need of a much better way of management of their time.

  It is widely known that the students at Canyon Crest Academy have become active participants in the local arts scene in recent years.

  After reviewing the results of my previous research, and in light of the relevant information found within the context of this study, there is ample evidence for making important, significant changes to my personal essay.

Example Concise Solutions:

  Students at this school need better time management skills. (Original word count: 27. New word count: 9).

  In recent years, students at CCA have participated in the local arts scene. (Original word count: 23. New word count: 13).

  After reviewing my previous research results, and within the context of this study, I find evidence supporting significant changes in my personal essay. (Original word count: 35. New word count: 23).