the oredigger issue 21 - march 23, 2009

8/14/2019 The Oredigger Issue 21 - March 23, 2009

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Volume 89, Issue 21 March 23, 2009

News 2 Features 4 sports 9 opiNioN - 10

~world headlines

~csm academy lecture

~tech break

~music reviews

~strawberry fields

forever

~cultural diversities

~tim’s two cents

satire 11~Election Cancelled!

~ASCSM Leaderless!

Renewable energy sources; weare immersed in many of them ona daily basis. Although this energyis evident every time we step intothe sun, actually harnessing theseenergies and implementing themeconomically can be a monumentaltask. Sandia, a National NuclearSecurity Administration Labo-ratory, has taken note of thisand has a different perspec-tive on how solar energycould be utilized—not byeliminating a dependence onfuel, but rather by recyclingthe carbon dioxide alreadypresent in the atmosphere torecreate fuel.

Ellen Stechel, manager of Sandia’s Fuels and Energy

Transitions Department, wasvery optimistic about this ap-proach of creating fuels from solarenergy. While she adamantly main-tained that every option should beexplored in light of the energy crisis

plight, she pointed out some of theformidable obstacles that many of the renewable energy processesbeing explored would have to over-come to be successful.

Inarguably, there is no lack of renewable energies: solar, geother-mal, biomass, and wind are preva-

photo courtesy sandia national laboratories

lent across the globe. However,there are many challenges whenit comes to utilizing these renew-able energies in a way that wouldbe easily adaptable to present-daysociety. The first addressed issimply that the technology has stillto live up to the scientic theories

behind the processes, althoughwith current research, the progressis promising. Another point stated

by Stechel was that these variedenergy source’s “geographic diver-sity” places them randomly aboutthe planet and oft times majorconcentrations are “stranded andfar from any major loads.” This ac-centuates the issue of transportingand storing these energies, whichwould require a complete overhaulof the infrastructure currently in use.

Utilizing concentrated solarenergy to reverse combustion

and transform carbon dioxideinto carbon monoxide and waterwould provide a means to createliquid fuel and continued use of the current infrastructure wouldsubsequently ensue. Since the fuelis the same as the liquid fuel in usetoday, the transition would be easyfrom an economic perspective.

The invention that would performthis reverse combustion process is

named the Counter RotatingRing Receiver Reactor Re-cuperator, dubbed the CR5.

The CR5 would be poweredby concentrated solar heatcollected in parabolic dishes.

This renewable thermal en-ergy would provide the initialenergy needed to recycle, ina sense, carbon dioxide tomake fuel. Stechel postulatesthat by “reusing” fuel, the ideaof carbon dioxide as a wasteproduct would be reinvented

into hopefully an “increased valueand of utilization of CO

2” and fur-

thermore, lead to the containmentof harmful emissions to an extent.

The prototype for the CR5 hasbeen constructed and is within daysof a trial run. Sandia looks forwardto the successful testing and pos-sible implementation of this newsolar to petrol technology that willhopefully provide energy securityand mitigate climate change.

Using solar energy to recycle CO2Sarah Nelson

sff W

The CR5 would be powered by

concentrated solar heat collected

in parabolic dishes. This renewable

thermal energy would provide the

initial energy needed to recycle,

in a sense, carbon dioxide to make

fuel.

One of the parabolic dishes to be used to provide energy.

ASCSM spent the abbreviatedMarch 19 meeting arguing aboutthe wording of the ballot itemconcerning the bus pass, paid forby Mines’s Intermodal Transporta-

tion Fee. Due to a rate increase onthe part of RTD, keeping currentservice levels would require a rateincrease of $6 per semester, to $46total per semester. The alternativeoptions would be to downgradeRTD passes, keeping the fee thesame or raising itby inflation, or todiscontinue the In-termodal Transpor-tation Fee entirely,a long with RTDservice.

The RTD Col-lege Pass, theprogram in whichMines currently participates, in-creased in price twice in the last

two years; the Intermodal Trans-portation Fee started at $35, andlast year increased to $40 to copewith the rate increase. The increaseapplies to all students on-campus,though the proportion of studentswho pick up a pass is 55%, a num-ber comparable to other campuseswho participate in the program. A monthly pass with equivalent fea-

tures would cost several times theStudent Pass rate.

RTD also offers more limitedoptions for its college pass. $42.55per semester provides studentswith the current amenities, minusSkyRide access. $34.66 per se-mester, roughly the amount paid

by Mines when the Intermodal Transportation Fee was instituted,now allows for local access (the16 and 17 bus routes) as well asdiscounted fares elsewhere.

After much discussion and de-bate, ASCSM members voted to

allow for three options available tostudents voting regarding the mea-

sure: increase the per-semesterrate to $46 and keep current ameni-ties, increase the rate by ination to

$41.20, or disband the fee ent irely. The delta between $41.20 and theprice of the reduced-access RTDpass would be used for on-campussustainability efforts, such as bikeracks and discounted tickets fortransportation not covered by the

downgraded RTD offering.Due to limitations of the Ban-

ner administrative system andconcerns about bias inherent ina three-choice single-questionsystem, ASCSM members de-cided that the vote on this matterwould be conducted as a series

of two questions in the onlinevoting system. The rst will be of

whether to keep current amenities,thus raising the fee, or not. Thesecond, contingent on not raisingthe Intermodal Transportation Feeto $46 per semester, would be of

whether to keepthe fee at all. If thefee is kept, it willbe raised at leastby the amount of ination, which was

3% for this year.Despite a com-

ment to the con-trary by Board of

Student Organization’s TreasurerKarlyn Adams, a notice of the ina-

tionary increase will be mentionedin the question series.

Derek Morgan had prepareda presentation regarding the RTDpass, however was unable to pres-ent due to technical difficulties.Check the online version of thisarticle for a link to the presentationor to discuss how you will vote onthe pass.

ASCSM decides wording of bus pass voteIan Littman

a Wm

After much discussion and debate, ASCSM

members voted to allow for three options

available to students voting regarding the

measure

Thursday’s ASCSM meetingwas quite different than the usualconvocation; the overwhelming

focus of the meeting was on theupcoming student governmentelections and the platforms of each major student governmentcandidate. Student Body Presi-dent Kevin Duffy was pleased toannounce the rst ASCSM election

forum in, if not forever, then at leasta long while.

Sophomore, Junior, and Seniorclass president candidates startedthe ASCSM election forum, whichlasted for about half of the nearly-two-hour meeting. Most notably,the Junior class presidency wascontested by current Sophomore

Treasurer Ben Seling and KeithStevens. Seling, absent due toa calculus test, had prepared re-

marks, which were read during hisalloted speech time, and includedgoals of reaching out to the Minescommunity and beyond to tailorsuch things as bus passes andrestaurant hours.

Board of Trustees candidateDamien Illing then spoke abouthis upcoming position; anothercandidate had missed the deadline

for signature collection. The oor

was then opened for questions,which included that of how hewould approach Board of Trusteesmembers with student concerns,posed by Faculty Advisor Derek

Morgan. He responded that mat-ters would be dealt in as direct amanner as possible, though with-out the less-reasoned facets of hisconstituency’s views. Regardingstudent views, he plans to createan anonymous drop box to col-lect them.

Next, current Sophomore Rep-resentative John Bristow and

Ashley Young, a junior, made theiropening remarks contesting theposition of Student Body VicePresident.

Bristow’s main thrust wasincreased ASCSM involvementin both student-focused and ad-ministrative roles, backed by thisschool year’s resolution to add

another student to the studentbody representation at FacultySenate meetings.

Young’s platform included gen-eral campus outreach and creationof a committee to oversee andexamine the various fees thatstudents currently pay.

ASCSM hosts threecandidate debatesIan Littman

a Wm

SEE “CANDIDATES DEBATE”

ON PAGE 7

ASCSM Election Specialsee pages 6 & 7

Minds at Mines

see page 10

Celebrating springtime



n e w s March 23, 2009

w w w . O R E D I G G E R . n e t

Oredigger Staff

Sara Post

Editor-in-Chief

Lily GiddingsManaging Editor

Zachary Boerner Copy Editor

Abdullah AhmedBusiness Manager

Amanda Graninger Design Editor

Ryan BrowneWebmaster

Cericia Martinez Asst. Design Editor for Layout

Robert Gill

Assistant Business Manager

Ian Littman Assistant Webmaster

Mike StoneFool’s Gold Content Manager

Tim WeilertContent Manager

Jake RezacContent Manager

Spencer NelsonContent Manager

Neelha MudigondaContent Manager

David FrossardFaculty Advisor

Headlines from around the world

Jake Rezac, Content Manager

Emily Trudell, Staff Writer

Local News

Pranav Veera, a six-year-oldboy living in Ohio, has been foundto have a one-in-a-million IQ of

176. The child appears to have aphotographic memory, can spellthe alphabet backwards, and isable to name all of the US presi-dents, in order.

The body of 18-month-oldEmma Leigh Barker was foundon a freeway near Los Angeles.Her mother, who remains unnamedand was the last person to see thechild, claims that the child diedaccidentally, and that she fearfully

dumped the body on the freeway. Actress Natasha Richardson

died after suffering blunt trauma tothe head and internal bleeding dur-ing a skiing accident at a resort inQuebec. Though she seemed ne

initially after the accident, her con-dition deteriorated and she wasbrought to a Canadian hospital,where she died Wednesday.

Josef Friztl, the 73 year old Austrian man who pleaded guiltyto enslaving his daughter for 24years, fathering seven children withher, and allowing one of the chil-dren to die, was sentenced tolife imprisonment in an institu-tion for mentally ill offenders.

More babies were born

in the United States in 2007than in any other year, with4,317,119, far surpassingthe record set in the baby

boom era. The percent of babies born to unwed moth-ers increased to 40% andthe amount of babies bornto teenagers also increasedsignicantly.

The fossilized remains of a 95 million-year-old octo-

pus were discovered. The octo-pus is one of the rarest fossils everfound, as it is composed mainly of muscle and soft tissues that gener-ally decay very quickly after death.

Though there are nearly 300 knownspecies of octopus, none haveever been found in fossilized form.

Charles Clemens, a 61-year-old man from Kansas, faces big-amy charges after one of his twowives discovered him with his oth-er wife. Clemens married the rst

woman 22 years ago and the sec-ond woman three years ago.

In his rst interview since leavingofce, former President George

W. Bush said that he would notcriticize Barack Obama. Mr. Bushspoke at an event in Calgary, Can-ada entitled “Conversations withGeorge W. Bush,” an invitationalspeech with about 2000

people paying $3,100 to be pres-ent.

A 7.9 magnitude earthquake occurred off the main island of Ton-ga, causing fears of ash and lavaows. A two hour tsunami warning

was issued for countries locatedwithin 625 miles of the epicenter of the quake.

A group of European scientistshave used genetic engineering tomodify tobacco plants to producea powerful anti-inammatory pro-tein that could help patients suffer-ing from insulin-dependent diabe-tes or other autoimmune diseases.

Two United States naval ves-

sels, a submarine and an am-

phibious ship, collided in the Straitof Hormuz between Iran and the

Arabian Peninsula. 15 sailors werereported to be slightly injured, andboth ships suffered some minordamages, and are currently head-ing toward port for repairs.

Livermore, CA: Scientists have developed an anti-mosquito laser to prevent malaria. Malaria,which kills over 1 million people per year, is transmitted by mosquitoes. The scientists, who begantheir research after seeing a satirical YouTube video with the same concept, hope that the lasersystems will be deployed as shields for villages.

Shefeld, UK: Scientists in California, Canada, andthe UK have made a discovery which helps to explainhow solar weather affects Earth. The researchers, whohave detected twisting waves in the Sun’s atmosphere,say it helps to explain why the Sun’s corona is hotter thanthe Sun’s surface. The scientists believe this new under-

standing will help climate scientists to predict how thesun’s rays will affect the Earth in the future.

Beijing, China: Geologists in Beijing have discovered dinosaur fossils whichmay have implications on thoughts about the earliest instances of feathers.

While feathers on dinosaurs are not a new discovery, the newly found fossilsare on a dinosaur on a different side of the dinosaur evolutionary tree than thefeathered dinosaurs. Researchers say it indicates that feathers evolved manytimes in dinosaur evolutionary history.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania: Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania haveengineered nerve tissue which causes nerve regeneration in animals. Scientists hopethis will help the estimated 300,000 Americans who suffer from nerve injuries eachyear. To prevent permanent damage, nerve regeneration must occur quickly, which iswhat scientists say their new technique does. According to the discoverers, this is abrand new way of generating nerves.

Dr Terry Parker will inter-view for the postion of Provostat Mines this Wednesday and

Thursday, March 25 and 26.

The CSM Golf Team’s JoeSchwark was named RMAC’sGolfer of the Week.

CSM’s Wrestling Squad wasranked 2nd on the Division II

All-Academic list. The teamposted a 3.424 average GPA.

Diamond AnniversarE-Daystickets will go on sale this week.

Akira Rattenbury, GeologicalEngineering, has won a CriticalLanguage Scholarship to study

Arabic. The award letter said, inpart, “The Bureau of Education-al and Cultural Affairs of the USDepartment of State, the spon-sor of the Critical LanguageScholarship Program, joins theCouncil of American OverseasResearch Centers (CAORC) inoffering congratulations on youracceptance. The applicant poolwas highly competitive, and thereview panels found your ap-plication impressive. We hopeyou will nd this a rewarding

opportunity for your academicand professional development.”

Ashley Young, Chemical En-gineering, has been selected as

a nalist for the Truman Schol-arship in public policy. She isinterested in pursuing a projectthat will change perceptionsabout how we think about, use,and abuse water.

[info courtesy CSM]



n e w sMarch 23, 2009 Page


ASCSMelections

are here!Meet your candi-

dates, fnd out where

they stand, make

your choice

ASCSM Elections

3/30 and 3/31

Hossein Kazemi, Chesebro’Distinguished Chair and Profes-sor of Petroleum Engineering atMines, spoke at the March 20CSM Academy on the topic of Pe-troleum Reservoirs and Oil Sup-plies.

Kazemi, who has been teach-ing at Mines since 1981, believesthat the United States has a strongability to produce oil and gas in thef u t u r e .“Peopled o n ’ ttell thet r u t h …the fact that we can use a lot of energy sources efciently. Oil and

gas will be a major source for our

growing environment.” Accordingto Kazemi, the US spends $86

Dr. Charles Hoyle of the Uni-versity of Southern Mississippi, ina talk he gave at Mines last Friday,spoke of a process he and his col-leagues have developed called Thi-ol-Ene Chemistry. Hoyle explainedthat, “It’s kind of a different way of looking at chemistry… it’s like howyou’ve always wanted chemistry tobe.”

Hoyle began his talk by explain-ing click chemistry, a chemicalphilosophy which species quickly

generating substances by joiningsmall chemi-

cal units to-gether. “Theidea of click c h e m i s t r ywas founded by Barry Sharp-less… and it’s a great process,”Hoyle explained. “But under stan-dard processes, you have to usecatalysts (copper)… and copper isnot always a great thing to leave ina chemical.” This downfall of click chemistry was the jumping point forHoyle’s research.

“That [click chemistry] is a greatway of doing chemistry, but howcan you extend that?”

He explained that, in his re-search, he looks for a number of properties in his chemical reactions:

high conversions and little or noside products, no purication re-quired, and rapidness.

“You mix it together, you put it in

On March 16, President Scog-gins announced that Dr. Daniel Fox

was taking over the position of VicePresident of Student Life, a role leftby Harold Cheuvront after 32 years.Fox brings to ofce many plans to

continue improving student life oncampus and is excited for the op-portunity. “This is what I’ve spentthe last 18 years preparing for,”said Fox. “This is my craft. This iswhat I’ve rened and worked on for

several years.”Fox came into an ever-chang-

ing ofce that has new opportu-nities and challenges every year.“We do a lot more things than wedid 10 years ago in student sup-port,” stated Fox. Changes, suchas an increased student body,make Fox’s new position consid-

erably different than what Cheuv-ront stepped into in 1976. Fox ex-plained, “Over the years... [StudentLife] has really grown and changedin the demands of the position andthe load that is there.”

Many changes are expectedaround the Student Life depart-ment. Fox mentioned that Presi-dent Scoggins intends on lookingaround the department to see whatis and isn’t necessary in Student

CSM Academy discusses

America’s oil problemAnand Erdenebileg

Staff Writer

million for oil and gas in one yearand the world uses 500 billion bar-rels per year.

Kazemi stated that Americaneeds more oil and energy re-sources because it leads the worldin use of the aircraft. These aircraftconsume 26 trillion cubic feet oil peryear. Furthermore, it has been pre-dicted that 1.2 billion cars will be on

American roads by 2016. Kazemibelieves that new technologiesmust be developed to keep up withthis fuel demand.

T h eU n i t e dS t a t e se n e r g yu s a g e

statistics are that oil is 40% of ourtotal energy, gas 22%, coal 3%,nuclear 8%, and hydroelectric 7%

per year. However, most of theseresources require the extensive

production of carbon dioxide. Tochange this, reliable and protable

new technologies are needed.

There are three types of gaseswhich can be used, according toKazemi. These are conventionalgas, which produces large quan-tities, unconventional gas, whichis very difcult to produce, and

ultra-unconventional gas, whichrequires a huge amount of energy

to produce. “In order to producethe ultra-unconventional gas, weneed 60 Gigawatts, which this en-ergy is capable to give electricityto large 100 American big cities,”says Kazemi.

Kazemi concluded that today’sstudents are our future. “I encour-age my students to solve theseproblems for their own future. Weneed to do this project as soon as

possible so that fuels and the en-ergy will be more productive.”

The US spends $86 million for oil

and gas in one year

New Vice President of

Student Life takes ofceLife and rearranging as required.

However, “I don’t see many peoplehere not working real hard,” saidFox. The changes around the de-partment are simply a result of the

continuous development in theirservice to students.

“I didn’t come to this institutionwith the idea that I’d become the

VP of Student Operations,” admit-ted Fox. Although his intentionswere less ambitious, he does be-lieve he is adequately prepared for

his new role. As Dean of Studentsfor Spaulding University, Fox hadmany of the same responsibili-ties as he will as Vice President of Student Life at Mines. He expectshis “role primarily will be more of the senior administration stuff, likeworking with the Executive Com-mittee, working with the Board of

Trustees, and working with the oth-er Vice Presidents on campus very

closely to be the one who overallis responsible for all the student lifecomponents”

Fox comes from a considerablebackground in higher education.He received his undergraduate de-gree in Biology and English fromMontana State. After graduating,he earned his teaching certication

and spent a few years as a highschool teacher. Returning to col-lege, he gained his Masters degree

in Communications from EasternNew Mexico University, followedby a job there for a while wherehe worked in a variety of areas of student life, including housing. Fox

realized then that he “ultimatelywanted to work in senior admin-istration.” Staying at ENMU, headded his Ph.D. in College StudentPersonnel Administration. Sincethen, he has worked at 6 colleges,including several in Colorado, a fewin New Mexico, one in Montana,and one in Kentucky. He servedas the Director of Residence Lifeat Mines from August 2005 until apromotion to Director of Studentlife in February 2007.

Personally, Fox has a very widetaste in activities. Being a Montananative, he loves the mountains. Heenjoys hiking with his dog, golng,

skiing, music, reading, and the-ater. He admits that he probably

works too much, like everyone elsein administration, but still tries tomaintain as balanced a life as pos-sible. A very talkative person, Foxexudes a friendly nature. He recog-nizes that at Mines, as well as inthe rest of the world, “If you don’tlaugh some, there’s going to be alot of crying.” His positive attitudehas the perseverance to accom-plish much as Vice President of Student Life.

Spencer Nelson

Content Manager

New chemical

process opens

doorsJake Rezac

Content Manager

the NMR [nuclear magnetic reso-nance spectrometer], and you haveexactly what you need. No cleanup,no nothing,” he explained of his ide-al chemical process. This ideal pro-cess, he explained, is exactly whathe and his colleagues have done.

“Do you know how many tri-vinyl esters which are pure that youcan buy in the history of chemis-try? None. It’s two steps… you mixthem together… and shine light onthem. Literally ve minutes, with

100% yield,” he explained of hisprocess, which can be powered bysunlight, if a chemist desires.

Hoyle has already begun pro-ducing items

which usethis pro-cess. He de-scribed one

use which should be in productionsoon.

“You can imprint this material toyour teeth and make a mouth guardand have… 91% energy absorptionby the mouth guard. This has impli-cations for saving teeth for athletesand for head trauma victims,” hesaid.

He also described a method bywhich this process can be used inPET (polyethylene terephthalate)water bottles, which are built tokeep oxygen from owing into the

bottle and interacting with the wa-

ter.“PET is good… but in one

case… no oxygen goes across it.None. It keeps oxygen out.” Even

the less effective of Hoyle’s meth-ods for decreasing oxygen perme-ability is nearly 5 times less perme-able than PET.

Hoyle ended his presentationby showing some of the productswhich have been produced by hismethod.

“[We’ve made] a glass that be-haves like a rubber ball… a rubberball that bounces 90-95% of theway back, machine-able rubber,and glass you can bend,” he ex-plained before demonstrating thematerials he described.

In a humble statement, Hoyle

summed up the process used tomake these products.

“It’s a nice method for makingmaterials.”

“[We’ve made] a glass that

behaves like a rubber ball.”



f e a t u r e s March 23, 2009


Art of Science

Metrorail, Washington, D.C.

“Give me a lever long

enough and a fulcrum

on which to place it, and

I shall move the world.” ~Archimedes

ERIK LORD / OREDIGGER

Geek Weekof

the

...Bryce Robbins, Freshman: Engineering PhysicsAlec Westerman

Staff Writer

Russell Herman “Rut” Volk had a long and distinguishedcareer at Mines. He receivedan Engineer of Mines degreein 1926 and Master of Science(MSc) degree of Mining in 1931.

While an undergraduate, Vok earned 15 varsity letters in foot-ball, boxing, and wrestling. Hewas undefeated in boxing andwrestling throughout his fouryears as an undergraduate. Hewas also successful outside of sports, holding the position of sophomore class president andMines delegate to a studentleadership conference in Yugo-slavia in 1926.

With all these accoladeshaving been received duringhis time at Mines, it’s not sur-prising that he continued tosupport the school later in life.In 1956, he received a Distin-guished Achievement Medal

and was awarded an Honor-ary Membership in the CSM Alumni Association in 1965.He was a CSM Trustee from1967 until his death in 1973. Hewas the president of the CSM

Alumni Association in 1939and a past director of the CSMFoundation, Inc. Rut Volk con-tributed $6,720 to CSM duringhis life, and then bequeathedthe School $123,750 after hisdeath.

According to Marvin L. Kay(Professor Emeritus, AthleticsDevelopment Associate) whohas been at the school for for-

ty years, recalls “Volk was thefirst Hall of Fame in the Colo-rado School of Mines history. If I want to name the true Alum-nus, I would name Rut Volk.”

Kay added, “He had a suc-cessful repetition in both schooland athletics and he was agreat family man.”

According to the Office of In-stitutional Advancement, “[He]gained national recognition asa leader in the petroleum in-dustry while serving as presi-dent and chairman of the boardof the Plains Exploration Co.,Denver, an independent petro-leum production firm which hefounded.” He also was a civilactivist and was the memberon the board of trustees of Colorado Woman’s College, di-rector for the United Fund cam-paign, advisory board memberof the Institute of InternationalEducation (Rocky Mountain Of-fice), and past president of thePetroleum Club, where he was

honored as a “Man o f the Year”in 1965 for his contribution tothe construction of the club’sbuilding.

Russell “Rut” Volk had twochildren. He had a son, Dick,who graduated from Mines in1958, and a daughter Denise.

Source:*1 - http://www.oia.mines.

edu/tour/volk/01.htm*2 - Interview with Marvin L.

Kay*3 - http://www.co.jefferson.

co.us/placenames/search3.cfm?ps_oid=113090&search

Anand Erdenebilieg

Staff Writer

Campus Benefactors: Volk

Do you consider yourself a

geek?

Yeah.Do you think other consider

you a geek?

Yeah, I think others considerme a geek, especially when theysee me in the cafeteria with myheadphones on listening to MIT lectures.

Why headphones, even in

class?

Ever since I got my rst mp3

player in eighth grade, I wear themduring class. It just helps me focusbetter.

What is your favorite type of

music?

Classic rock.What do you lis-

ten to your music

on? A Zune.Why did you

choose a Zune over

anything else?

I got it for ninetydollars on Black Fri-day.

Do you prefer

Microsoft or Mac?

Microsoft… I’m just so used to it. I useMedia Center a lot.

Is it true that you

work on homework

during class?

I do that a lot… Itry to use my time aswisely as possible I try

to get my homework done the rst day it’s

assigned.Do you have any

strange talents?

I play In theGroove. It’s kind of like DDR… I go totournaments andstuff.

What is the

geekiest thing you

own?

I’m not like one of those StarTrek typegeeks, so let me

think… I’ve got a Rubik’s cube,which I guess is pretty typical.

What is the geekiest thing

you have done at Mines?I read text books… I read every

page.What is the geekiest thing

you have done in your life?

I play that DDR game almostevery day.

Why did you choose to at-

tend Mines?

I like small schools. I’m a reallyindependent type student. I didn’twant to go out of state either.

What is your favorite class?

Modern physics… or advancedmathematics.

What are your plans for after

college?

Working for… probably Lock-

heed Martin. [He also commentedthat he would like to get into re-newable energy at some time.]

What are your hobbies?

In the Groove. I play guitar.Obviously, Rock Band and GuitarHero. I like to run, brush my teeth,and sleep, that just about covers it.

If you could take three things

with you to a desert island what

would they be?

I’d have a laptop with Verizonbroadband. [He then joked abouthaving a Wilson volleyball and con-tinued to list a toothbrush and a

dune buggy.]If you suddenly

came by one mil-

lion dollars what

would you do withit?

I’d probably openmy company, a com-pany that’s devotedto alternative en-ergy… Give some to

AIG employees.What year are

you?

Freshman.What classes

are you taking?

Analog Electron-cis, Modern Physics,

Advanced Mathe-matics for Engineers,Intro into Thermody-namics, Chemistry II,

and PA (the runningone). …I aced bothof my rst Chemis-try II exams… I gota 100% on both of them.

Why Advanced

Mathematics for

Engineers?

It was my last al-ternative; the PDEclass was just toomuch for me to han-dle given the rest of my load.

ALEC WESTERMAN / OREDIGGER

DEIDER BARRICK / OREDIGGER

Be a guest bartender!

See bartender for details



f e a t u r e sMarch 23, 2009


Join us or an Inormation Session and Reception to learn

about the benefts o the ETM Program and to meet the ETM

aculty, students, and alumni.

Monday, March 30th at 6:00 p.m.

Ben Parker Student Center – Ballroom C1600 Maple Street, Golden

~ Refreshments will be served ~

Please RSVP by March 25th to [email protected]

Enhance your technical undergraduate degree with a Master of

Science in Engineering and Technology Management (ETM).

A growing number of working engineers and scientists have

taken advantage of this unique graduate program.

• Learn business problem-solving techniques

• Enhance your leadership skills

• Develop a managerial perspective

• Integrate your technical and business skills

• Greatly increase your career opportunities

Graduate Studies inEngineering and

Technology Management

Division of Economics and Business

J o i n u

s

http://etm.mines.edu

The Best

of Both

Worlds

Ra, Roadrunner, and really fast computers

Ian Littman, Tech Break Columnist

In the basement of the CTLM,

behind a locked door and inside

a locked data center cage, lies a

beast. Since this column is TechBreak, the beast in question is Ra,

a supercomputing cluster devoted

to studying various energy-related

projects. Ranging from biofuel

work by Mark Nimlos of the Na-

tional Renewable Energy Labora-

tory (NREL) to acoustic and elec-

tromagnetic scattering simulations

spanning 320 cores on a few doz-

en nodes, the system’s 2144 pro-

cessing cores, pumping out be-

tween 17 and 23 teraops (trillion

oating point operations per sec-

ond), keep quite busy. Stepping

into the miniature data center that

houses Mines’s servers, Ra among

them, is quite literally a chilling ex-

perience, due to the high-capacity

air conditioning units required tokeep the cluster running at maxi-

mum speed. Unless you’re on the

“hot row,” where a voluminous

cloud of hot air pours through the

grating of the Dell racks in which

Ra is housed along with the req-

uisite networking and tape backup

systems to connect and protect

the two-million-dollar rig.

The tour guide, Director of High

Performance Computing Services

Tim Kaiser, noted at the far end of

the racks that a few of the com-

pute nodes, specically two of

the handful of quad-socket, dual-

processor servers (the other 256,

out of 268, nodes use quad-core,

dual-socket processors) had been

replaced. The telltale sign: differentfaceplates on the otherwise-identi-

cal gear. The reason: those nodes

had gone down a few days before

due to the intersection between

heavy load and garden-variety sta-

tistics, and thus, were swapped

out by Dell, Ra’s manufacturer, for

working systems. Regarding Dell,

they’re not particularly known for

high performance computing ini-

tiatives, but they offered the right

number of ops at the right time

at the right price, and Mines took

the offer. Of the deal, Mahadevan

Ganesh, one of the chief propo-

nents and users of the system (the

only user with 320 cores working

in tandem on a single process)

says, “Dell came up with a greatoffer, saying that ‘We’ll give you

so many ops…’ [for much less]

than Sun was offering.” Mines was

also in talks with IBM, another ma-

jor supercomputer manufacturer,

but ended up taking the Dell deal.

A few circumstances arose from

the decision to buy Dell. First was

the choice of Intel processors over

AMD’s new offerings, upon which

the world’s fastest supercomputer,

Roadrunner (in Los Alamos Na-

tional Laboratory) is partly based.

The Intel parts were more read-

ily available, as AMD’s chips had

a few more pressing customers

(among them, “Ranger,” a top-

ten supercomputer located at

UT-Austin). Somewhat less pivotalwas the operating system choice:

ROCKS, a clustered overlay on

RedHat Enterprise Linux, Dell’s

Linux of choice. Why Linux? “It’s

not possible to get... big clusters

with the Windows operating sys-

tem [for scientic purposes],” says

Ganesh.

A talk with Tim Kaiser served to

provide a snapshot of how Ra is

put to use. His job is to “help sci-

entists do their science,” as he put

it. “I have a couple of researchers

that I’m working with... basically

trying to get their jobs to run moreeffectively,” he added. Among his

duties are putting together work-

shops to show potential users

how to take full advantage of Ra’s

processing power and avoiding

possible pitfalls like swaple usage

that reduce performance on such

a system by a factor of ten. If the

system is used ideally, with routing

storage over multi-gigabyte-per-

second Inniband links, processes

move along at a good clip whether

the cores are dealing with carbon

sequestration, enzyme studies, or

ways of converting solar energy

and water into hydrogen fuel. “The

machine is primarily here... to do

energy research,” Kaiser stated.

Kaiser, on the other hand, is thereto keep scientists’ code running

smoothly on the systems, avoid-

ing rather deadly memory leaks

and, if possible, swaple usage,

which pushes tasks normally re-

served for memory into hard disk

space, which is orders of magni-

tude slower.

In all, around 70 users are active

on the system, using around 16%

of the 300 TB storage array as of

a few weeks ago. One of the more

notable projects featured in this

month’s Golden Energy Comput-

ing Organization (GECO) newslet-

ter is by Matt Walsh studying Gas

Hydrate formation. “Gas hydrates

are solid ice-like compounds in

which gas molecules, such asmethane and ethane, are trapped

in hydrogen-bonded water cages

(resembling microscopic soccer

balls)... in spite of its industrial sig-

nicance, the molecular mecha-

nism of hydrate nucleation has

remained intractable to research-

ers because its physics are gov-

erned by a disorder-to-order ‘rare

event’ phase transition... Before

this research, no ‘Top-300’ super-

computer had been used to simu-

late the process...[h]owever, the

formidable computing power of

‘Ra’ has already allowed the CSM

Chemical Engineering department

to simulate the nucleation of hy-

drates by “brute-force” molecular

dynamics techniques,” the news-letter project description states. As

this article is being written, Walsh

has 33 jobs running on Ra, totaling

a whopping 792-2.6 GHz cores in

use for the project.

Each of the 99 nodes on-task

is grabbing 6.5 KB/s of band-

width from the Mines network.

Hardly anything per node, to be

sure, but in aggregate, the proj-

ect overall is grabbing about ve

megabits of bandwidth, nonstop,

on the download side and about

100 kilobits on the upload. That’s

not a ton, but the overall network

transfer on Ra stays around fteen

megabits per second, twenty-four

hours a day, even when the Mines

network gets congested. At times,the gigabit network uplink on the

system is utilized a bit more as

someone on-campus downloads

their data set. Yet, for archival and

remote data set purposes, Ra re-

ally needs a higher-bandwidth

connection. That’s why, according

to Michael Robbert, system ad-

ministrator for the cluster, “Those

of us in the GECO team, ...and

some of the scientists, are the

ones primarily pushing to imple-

ment 10 gigabit speeds over that

ber once it’s implemented.” By

“that ber,” Robbert meant the joint CDoT/Mines ring that should

go online any day now. I wouldn’t

say that Ra itself is constrained,”

he says of the currently-available

bandwidth. “Everything that is go-

ing to run on Ra is going to run

just as fast, but what’s going to

change if we can get 10 gigabit

is in the way that we can share

data with scientists off-campus.”

Robbert also responded on the

subject of upgrading Ra, which

has already fallen to 285 on the

TOP500 supercomputer list. “As

far as adding additional nodes,

even adding additional memory

or faster processors, we’re really

limited by the power and cooling

in the data center right now. We’rereally pushing the limits of that

right now, so there’s not much

room to expand... over the years,

we’ll probably have minor things

here and there that we’ll possibly

tweak its capabilities, but nothing

major,” Robbert stated. “At this

point, our next major push is go-

ing to be for whatever the next big

machine that will replace Ra, and

along with that is going to be g-

uring out what new data center is

going to house that.”

The “next big machine” ar-

chitecture was discussed in the

greatest detail by Ganesh, who

compared Cell processors (used in

PlayStation 3 consoles) and GPUs

(and their computing-focusedbrethren, such as nVidia’s Tesla

series) to the typical arrangement

of CPUs used for processing su-

percomputing tasks. “There is no

drawback,” said Ganesh, regard-

ing use of GPUs in a supercom-

puter, “except you have to cur-

rently… think about programmingslightly differently than you’re used

to programming in x86. So... when

you learn C programming or FOR-

TRAN or Java, you’re pretty much

taught to program for CPUs... On

the other hand, if you are to do pro-

gramming [with] GPUs... you have

to get into the [GPU] frame of mind.

Programming used to be very dif-

cult for GPUs some years back.”

With nVidia’s new CUDA program-

ming language, which is based on

C, GPU programming is a lot easi-

er than hardcoding the GPU, but it

still remains nonstandard and even

proprietary. “Everybody has their

own way, and you have to get into

their shell to program,” Ganesh

explained. “On the other hand,[with a] CPU, it doesn’t matter

who you get it from [or] where you

get it from. You program it once,

and it runs forever.” Since Ra has

to cater to the scientists working

on it, currently CPUs are the best

option from a programming stand-

point. “We’ve got some of our

scientists writing their own code,”

says Robbert of the situation. “But

we’ve also got a lot of scientists

that use general purpose code

that they have no idea how to write

the code for it. All they know how

to do is put together different ex-

periments using this code that has

been parallelized and completely

written by some third party... un-

til those types of applications getported to Cell or GPUs, we prob-

ably won’t be using those, at

least not as our primary platform.”

The advantage of Cell processors

and GPUs is speed. Roadrunner

derives much of its petaop-plus

performance from Cell processors,

and many universities are nowaugmenting their current x86 (Intel,

AMD, etc.) systems with GPUs to

drastically increase performance

with relatively low hardware and

space outlay. “One of the reasons

why people suddenly nd GPUs

very fast [is] because they’re really

coding a lot in parallel computing

[with] a lot of things to work on...

you put in a little bit [of] effort, and

suddenly, you see that your same

code is running ten times faster,”

says Ganesh of GPUs, which now

sport as many as 240 processors

apiece. nVidia’s Tesla system, ef-

fectively a superclocked graphics

card with four gigabytes of mem-

ory and no video out, can deliver

close to a teraop per card.Granted, these special-pur-

pose processors aren’t great at

everything; currently GPUs are 32-

bit processor clusters-on-a-card,

meaning that four GB of memory

is the absolute maximum they can

address. This makes them unus-

able for applications involving large

data sets. But what they do, they

do very well, provided a scientist

or software rm knows how to

program for the system. “It’ll be in-

teresting to see what will happen,

but my feeling is that the best way

to proceed is to have a hybrid of

CPUs, GPUs, and Cell and pro-

gram in such a way you’re passing

the mathematically intensive oper-

ations such as [Fast Fourier Trans-forms] to Cells and GPUs, and the

rest of the operations to CPUs,”

Ganesh said of this synergy. “That

is what’s done in Los Alamos.”



Lisa Truong

Damian Illing

Ashley Young

John Bristow

Brian Pal

Jaime Thorpe

Board of TrusteesRepresentative

a s c s m e l e c t i o n s a s c s m e l e c t i o n sMarch 23, 2009 Page 7

w w w . O R E D I G G E R . n e t w w w . O R E D I G G E R . n e t

Hometown:Lopez Island, WA Current Class: JuniorDepartment:Engineering, Mechanical SpecialtyCampus Activities: Cycling Club, Libertarian ClubWhy are you running for this position?

I believe that ASCSM’s role should be expanded to take a muchmore active role in working with campus organizations that mayfrustrate students on a daily basis. Public safety, Aramark, and theregistrar’s ofce are just a few examples of organizations that shouldbe changed in order to better serve the students who pay for theirservices.

Detail any other ofces or positions that you have held on

campus.

Administrator of the Ran-Duece Facebook group.What makes you a standout person for this job?

I’m not interested in a popularity contest or another line on myresume. I am going to run a zero-bullshit campaign and if electedI will work to provide changes that will have a real impact on every

student at Mines.What would you like to see ASCSM accomplish in the next year?

If elected, I will:Work with public safety to create an accountability system in order to improve relations between ofcers and students

Work with student life to revamp or replace the Aramark contract when it comes up for renewal in 2010.Work with the registrar’s ofce to improve and streamline operations.

Expand ASCSM’s role to include voting seats on every board on campus.

Hometown:Broomeld, COCurrent Class: Junior/SeniorDepartment: Chemical and Biochemical Engineering (B.S.), Economics and

Business (M.S. in ETM)Campus Activities: ASCSM Senior Class Representative, Tau Beta Pi, Blue Key,

McBride, Pre-Med Society, Men’s LacrosseWhy are you running for this position?

I am running for this position because I understand how important open, effective,and consistent lines of communication are between ASCSM and the school’s admin-istration. I want to personally ensure that these lines of communication remain openand the relationship between ASCSM and the Board of Trustees remains strong. Myexperience in ASCSM will make me a great intermediary between the student bodyand the Board of Trustees, and a strong voice for the students, guaranteeing that theneeds of the student body are heard during board meetings.

Detail any other ofces or positions that you have held on campus:

Over the past year, I have served as an ASCSM senior class representative. My

duties have included participating in ASCSM meetings, organizing class events, andpreparing for Senior Bus. For the past three and a half years, I have also served asa class of 2009 McBride Student Representative. In this position I have been theintermediary between the McBride administration and my classmates, have helpedreorganize the freshman schedule, and have started a freshman-senior mentoring program.

What makes you a standout person for this job?

My experiences in ASCSM, McBride, and other organizations have given me the opportunity to understand how to work with many different groups of people, and have made me an effective liaison between several different bodies. My involvementin a variety of groups across campus will allow me to ensure the student body’s collective voice is heard. I would be a strongvoice for the student body on the Board of Trustees, and would ensure that the student’s needs are heard.

What would you like to see ASCSM accomplish in the upcoming year?

I believe that one of the most important things ASCSM should strive for in the upcoming year is to further improve theavenues of communication, not just between ASCSM and the school’s administration, but, more importantly, between the

administration and the student body as a whole. Additionally, I would like to see the implementation of new, benecial ap -plications for the intermodal transportation fee and the capital construction fee.

Hometown:Kingwood, TX Current Class: JuniorDepartment:Chemical EngineeringCampus Activities: ASCSM (2006 – present), Theta Tau Profes-

sional Engineering Fraternity (Currently re-starting a chapter at CSM),McBride Honors Program (2006 – present), Sigma Kappa Sorority(2007 – present), SWE (2006 – present), AIChE (2007 – present)

Why are you running for this position?

I am running for ASCSM President because I want to deliver to thestudent body the accountability it deserves. As students, we are thecustomers of this school, and we must demand that our voices areheard by the faculty, staff, and administration. I will strive to establisha strong working relationship with these parties to ensure that thiswill happen.


campus.

During my freshman and sophomore years, I served as ASCSMclass treasurer. I was then appointed ASCSM Treasurer for the 2008-09 year, during which I have worked diligently building relationships with many student organizations. I also serve as aclass representative for McBride, reconciling conicts between my peers and the administration. Additionally, I serve

as President of Theta Tau, an organization we are striving to renew at Mines after an approximately 30 year hiatus.What makes you a standout person for this job?

I have worked diligently since coming to Mines to represent my classmates through my various leadership positions

by promoting honesty, ethics, and transparency in government. I am the best candidate for the position because I amthe only candidate who has served on the Executive Council of ASCSM. This gives me greater insight into the role thatthe president plays, and more experience in dealing with issues that the Executive Council handles.


In the upcoming year, I want to see ASCSM develop a stronger relationship with both the campus and the com-munity. In order to do this, accountability to the students must be our foremost priority. The student government existsto serve the needs of the students, from parking tickets to grading systems. My goal is that the students at-large willguide the course of their governing body and experience the purest form of democracy possible.

Hometown:Grand Junction, COCurrent class: SophomoreDepartment:Engineering, Civil SpecialtyWhy are you running for this position?

Over the past year, I have seen rst-hand how critical studentgovernment can be in shaping policies at the Colorado School of Mines. I look forward to representing the student body to the faculty,institution, and community in every facet. I will strive to constantly seek what is best for students. My experience on ASCSM has inspired meto continue working for my peers and keeping my classmates informedand included in school politics.


campus.

Currently, I have the great privilege of being Sophomore ClassPresident. As president, I have aided in organizing class events, es-tablishing Ofce Hour Forums, and choosing the Class of 2011 t-shirt.Furthermore, I have listened to my peers during the plus/minus gradingsystem debate, opened lines of communication between the Class of 2011 & the Sophomore Ofcers, and co-authored ASCSM resolutions.

Additionally, I am the secretary for PASES and AGC, and a representative for McBride.What makes you a standout person for this job?

ASCSM has become a high priority for me due to the issues that I have encountered over the past two years.Recently, I have worked intimately on many issues concerning my peers, including co- authoring an ASCSM resolutionsto increase the student representatives at Faculty Senate. I feel that with my experience in ASCSM, my varied campusinvolvement, and my dedication to the student body, I am highly-qualied to serve ASCSM as president.


Student government was created to represent the student body. In the upcoming year, I hope to increase studentinteraction with ASCSM. By improving dialogue, I hope to tackle issues that concern all students. Some of thesematters include concerns with public safety, improving transportation options, and keeping students at the forefrontof capital construction. No topic is too big or too small for ASCSM.

Hometown: Loveland, COCurrent Class: JuniorDepartment: Chemical EngineeringCampus Activities: Tau Beta Pi Engineering Honor Society, In-

terVarsity Christian Fellowship, Band, Blue Key, American Institute of Chemical Engineers (AIChE), Kappa Kappa Psi (Honorary Band Orga-nization), Society of Women Engineers (SWE), Student Ambassador,McBride Honors Program

Why are you running for this position?

It is my inherent belief that by serving as Student Body Vice President,I can affect change on the Mines campus. It was Mahatma Gandhi whoonce said that “you must be the change you want to see in the world.”I want to rise to that challenge by listening to and representing the stu-dents’ views—your views—in a responsible, ethical, and honest manner.


campus.

Currently I serve as Recording Secretary and Activities Chair for TauBeta Pi, Service/Newsletter Ofcer for AIChE, and Secretary for KappaKappa Psi. I am also a leader in InterVarsity Christian Fellowship andam a section leader in Band.

What makes you a standout person for this job?

It would be an honor and privilege to serve as your Vice President. A consistent attendee and frequentpublic forum speaker at ASCSM meetings, I have a solid understanding of ASCSM’s practical functions. Moreimportantly, I am dedicated to increasing student body participation in ASCSM to ensure all students’ voices theopportunity to be heard.


ASCSM should work to improve communication between itself and the student body by publishing surveysand hosting more events to collect feedback from concerned students. Campus parking tickets can and shouldbe decreased by working with Public Safety to develop updated campus parking signs and easy-to-read maps.In conjunction with Student Activities and other fee-collecting entities on campus, ASCSM should work to publish

a comprehensive brochure detailing how each student fee is used every year.

President

Vice President

The candidates’ statements were transcribed directly from written submissions with-

out changes to maintain objectivity. The views expressed above are solely those of the

candidates. The Oredigger abstains from endorsing or supporting any of the candidates.

Hometown: Golden, COCurrent class: SophomoreDepartment: Geological EngineeringCampus activities: Geological Engineering,

ASCSM, Phi Gamma Delta, Geology MuseumWhy are you running for this position?

I have spent the last two years as a class represen-tative and I feel that I have gained the responsibility tomove up and not only help my class but the studentbody as a whole.

Detail any other ofces or positions that you

have held on campus.

I currently work as a veteran student aide at thegeology museum. In my fraternity, I have helped outwith the social activities recently.

What makes you a standout person for this

job?

I feel that I have a unique dedication to the studentsof the Colorado School of Mines and I know if I wereto ll this position that I would continue my role of trying to get the student’s voices heard not only in the school

but in the Golden community.What would you like to see ASCSM accomplish in the upcoming year?

I would love to see ASCSM address the parking and safety issues on campus and help direct public safetyin a way that makes the students more comfortable with them.

At Large CommunitySharif Jawad

At Large FacultyRambert Nahm

At Large UniversityAlec Westerman

Senior Class PresidentSara Post

Senior Class Treasurer No Candidates

Senior Class Senator Keith Roman

Marilou Canon

Sophomore PresidentJosh Dickerson

Sophomore Treasurer Zach Boerner

Sophomore Senator Mona Finchum

Russell Quick

Junior Class PresidentKeith Stevens

Ben Seling

Junior Class Treasurer Ian Littman

Nathan Jorgensen

Junior Class Senator Justin Tappan

Daniel Haughey

Other Candidates

Meet the candidates

Student questions, and the re-sulting debate, mainly consisted of questions regarding public safety,due to the Student Body Vice Presi-dent’s additional position as chair of the Public Safety Committee.

The first concern, voiced byJunior Class Representative MarilouCanon, focused on poor lighting onsome parts of the Mines campus.Both candidates replied that theywould take necessary measuresand contact the appropriate partiesto solve this problem.

Bristow mentioned going to theCity of Golden, if necessary, while Young focused on disseminatingsurveys via The Oredigger or oth-

erwise to nd out what studentswanted in this arena.

The remaining public safetyquestions focused on the problemof blind spots on-campus, whichcost a life last semester, com-pounded by lack of parking facilitieson-campus. Bris-tow and Youngagreed that “redzones,” spaceswhere parking isdisallowed (nearcorners), would likely be needed,stating that safety should trumpparking congestion concerns.

Both candidates suggestedreworking reserved lot policiesto counteract the loss of avail-able parking. Additionally, Bristowchampioned clarication of parking

signage to better inform studentsof where they may or may not park.

Young, on the other hand, sug-gested a rewrite of current Minesparking maps, stating that the cur-rent maps are confusing and thata more modern map with clearlydelineated parking areas, wouldbe ideal.

In response to a question, askedby current Sophomore Class Rep-resentative Justin Tappan, Youngstated that she would be steppingdown her in-volvement invarious cam-pus groups inorder to betterfulfill her roleof StudentBody V icePresident, if elected.

The nal debate was between

the three Student Body Presidentcandidates: Brian Pal, current Stu-dent Body Treasurer Jaime Thorpe,and current Sophomore ClassPresident Lisa Truong.

Truong focused on studentoutreach, calling for increased of-ce hours, participation on part of

ofcers as well as students, and

encouraging use of online resourcesto get student input. Truong stated

that she wanted tosee more avenuesof student govern-ment outreach, inaddition to ASC-SM meetings, in-cluding meetingswith class presi-

dents and professional societies.Pal, whose primary leadership

experience has been in industry,presiding over a small team of construction workers on $50,000projects, was the most specificwith his promises, endeavoring tox such areas as Brown Building

classrooms, food services, andother areas of student complaint.

Truong had also discussed over-sight on the use of the CapitalConstruction Fee, which wouldmake such building improvementspossible. Pal also announced hisintentions of rechecking all campusclubs to see whether they were truly

giving back to the Mines communityin accord with the money given themin the Student Activities budget.

Jaime Thorpe started her plat-form speechwith her quali-fications: ascurrent Stu-den t Body Treasurer, shehas overseenthe f low of $600,000 peryear. Her main

points included assisting clubs sothat they may grow, additionally not-ing that ASCSM should be placedmore extensively in the public eye, toshow that the student governmentgroup has a real impact on the Mines

community.S e v e r a l

q u e s t i o n swere posedby the audi-e n c e a n dother ASC-SM mem-b e r s . T i mWeilert askedthe candi-dates to, inten secondsor less, statetheir most extreme goal for the up-coming year, were they to be electedas Student Body President. Truongand Thorpe both stated they wouldlike to see more ASCSM participa-tion, with Truong’s goal being anattendance of 100 students at an ASCSM meeting. Pal respondedthat his goal was to improve stu-dents’ quality of living.

Another major question was

that of club relations. All agreedthat clubs are an important part of Mines life, though Brian Pal againdiscussed his concerns as to howmuch funding clubs were gettingversus their contribution back to

the Mines community. Jaime Thorpementioned her ongoing relationshipwith the Board of Student Organiza-tions and her work on the proposedtier system to make it a win-win forall student organizations.

One of the nal questions wasposed in absentia by Zach Aman. The premise was that Mines haddecided to scrap the Friday E-Days holiday, replacing it with a fullcomplement of classes, quizzes,and tests. This hypothetical ques-tion addressed how the StudentBody President would react to sucha move.

Thorpe and Truong dismissedthe scenario as highly unlikely, giventhat so many E-Days events takeplace on that day, but stated that

they wouldgo direct lyto the Minesadministra-tion to voicestudent con-cerns.

T r u o n gstressed thatthis case wasa good ex-ample of un-foreseen cir-cumstances

that might be faced by the StudentBody President in the next year, nottoo far removed from the recentPlus-Minus grading controversy.

Pal took a harder line, stating thathe would organize a student striketo get the holiday back. “They can’tfail everyone, right?” he pondered,though others in the room seemeduneasy as to the real answer to thisquestion.

The forum concluded with clos-ing remarks from the presidentialcandidates and Kevin Duffy’s state-ment that, no matter who wins theelections, he felt student govern-ment would be led well.

Candidates debate at ASCSMCONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

Truong and Thorpe

both stated they would

like to see more ASCSM

participation

Truong stressed that this case

was a good example of unfore-

seen circumstances that might

be faced by the Student Body

President in the next year

Pal also announced his inten-

tions of rechecking all campus

clubs to see whether they

were truly giving back to the

Mines community in accord

with the money given them in

the Student Activities budget.



l i f e s t y l e March 23, 2009Page 8


The lm medium has long been able to represent ideas that are impossible to see in real life. Whether it’smultiple personalities, the concept of time travel, or the high of illicit drug use, movies have been able to givean audience a look into a world that they would not otherwise be privy to. Through the use of special effects,or just plain artistic license, lmmakers can make the intangible tangible. If a movie can make an audience stopand think, even if it is just for a moment, about the oddities of the psychological world around us, then it couldbe considered a mindbender movie. This week’s Must See Movies examine three such movies that push theenvelope of human understanding.

1. Fight Club (1999)What would you do if you found yourself in a dead-end job, unable to sleep and homeless due to a freak gas

leak? Well, if you’re the Narrator of Fight Club (Edward Norton), you’d make friends with Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt),a soap salesman who has a rich and colorful history as varied as the jobs he’s had. When they move in togetherto an abandoned house, things start getting out of hand. In order to vent out all the pent up rage of being stuck in a mundane existence, the Narrator and Tyler start Fight Club, an underground battle arena. As the lm pro-gresses, the Fight Club becomes something much larger, and much more resembling a terrorist organization.Now, what if you were to nd out that Tyler wasn’t who you thought he was? In the mind-bending ending to FightClub, the frightening reality of the mind’s powers is fully brought to light.

2. Donnie Darko (2001)Donnie Darko (portrayed by Jake Gyllenhaal) is your average 1980’s teenager. Well, average except for a few

abnormalities. First of all, he sees visions of a large, creepy rabbit. Secondly, he narrowly missed being killed byan errant jumbo jet engine crashing into his bedroom. Also, he knows when the world will end. Perhaps due tothese abnormalities, Donnie commits some pretty impressive crimes that bring the quiet suburbia into an uproar.

At rst glance, Donnie Darko seems like an ordinary teenage angst lm, but under the surface lies an intriguingscience ction. “Philosophy of Time Travel” is the name of the book given to Donnie that does a pretty good

job of explaining the intricacies of the impossible. By the end of the lm, the world hasn’t ended, but time hastraveled full circle to Donnie’s demise.

3. Requiem for a Dream (2000) The world of a junkie is an interesting place. Time no longer holds any relevance as everything seems to be

traveling in slow motion or unbearably fast. Requiem for a Dream follows four addicts on their downward spiralto ruin. The intriguing thing about addictions is that sometimes they aren’t to illegal substances. Even house-hold activities like watching television are artistically represented in the same way as getting high on cocaine.However, even if it seems like everything is working out well and nothing could go wrong, consequences lie justaround the dark corner. Requiem for a Dream begins to get intense as the consequences rear their ugly heads.From prostitution and prison to hospitalization, the results of a life of addiction are painfully obvious at the end of this lm. If ever there’s a lm to get people to stop doing drugs, Requiem for a Dream is it.

For Homework – See Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

Must See MoviesBenjamin M. Weilert, Staff Writer Mindbenders

Japanese beer is dry. This is as bad a stereotype as

saying all Japanese people areterrible drivers and love karaoke.On the contrary, exceptions tothese cardinal cultural rules ex-ist. You just have to dig deeper

to nd them.Enter Hitachino Nest Red Ale.

The name is a testament to Jap-anese inventiveness. I have noidea why it is a “Nest Red Ale” orwhat that means. I do know thatat 7% ABV in a bomber just abit bigger than a pint, this beercan bring out the couch-nesterin you after a long day at school.

I picked this one up in thespecial section at Golden TownLiquors for a staggering $12.But like a sugar-hungry childstaring into the eyes of cartooncharacters on cereal boxes, Iknew the goofy little owl on thebottle was a keeper.

The dark green bottle pours

a slight amber-tinted ale with theusual yeast-laden translucenceand yellow/orange hue indica-tive of the style. A thick, creamywhite head stands prominentlyon top reminding me of an up-side-down cooked egg.

My rst sniff detects some-thing odd immediately. A sec-ond deeper whiff brings outthe truly distinctive smell of afreshly opened can of black ol-ives. None of my fellow imbibersagree.

With Belgian Strong Pale Ales, one expects bountiful

Akira Rattenbury

Staff Writer

Beer Review: Hitachino Nest Red Ale

AKIRA RATTENBURY / OREDIGGER

spices and fruity odors to matchthe rich yeasty avors. Behindthe overpowering olive smell,this brew has just a mild tart andyeastiness reminiscent of theSaison Dupont featured a fewweeks ago.

It has a heavier avor thantypical Japanese beer. Thenagain, it is not just another ste-

reotypical cheap lager. It alsohas a milder essence and sub-dued pungency compared toother Belgian Strong Ales likeDuvel. The mild taste matchesthe mild smell minus the olives.

First sip is well-carbonatedand smooth. The ale leaves justa slight tingle andsome sourness witha mildly astringentmouthfeel. I sensethe potent yeasts,hops and typicalavors are paireddown and seem al-most gift wrappedfor later enjoyment.It lacks a strong al-

coholic taste and itsmild avor lingerswith a feeling like abland stickiness…

just like rice.Somehow the

infusion of red ricegives this quirkybeer a smoothnessand also its amberhue. Instead of typi-cal zests and fruits,it tastes of a moresubtle oral sweet-ness.

Maybe the red

rice just kills the beer and sim-ply takes up space typically re-served for more powerful avors.I think it adds a balance and asmoother mouthfeel which hidesthe higher alcohol content.

Fellow samplers were full of compliments about the taste.“It reminds me of Asian owersand gingerberries.” Asked what

Asian owers or gingerberriestasted like, my fellow samplershrugged, “I don’t know. That’s

just what I imagine it is.”“Makes you want to hop right

under a dragon. It’s delicious,”said sampler Alex Brown. “It hasa lot of avor for an Asian beer.”

Introduction:

Imagine you’re asleep. You’redreaming. The world oats aroundyou in bathed in bright colors andwarm sounds. You hear a voice, it isdrenched in reverb. Now wake up.

This experience is not something of the surreal, but is an accurate de-

scription of M. Ward’s newest work Hold Time.Oftentimes a collaborator rather

than a solo musician, Ward hasworked with some of today’s mostprominent indie bands, includingeveryone from Bright Eyes and MyMorning Jacket to Rilo Kiley’s JennyLewis. Ward has added his mellowsound to more than a few projectsof note within recent years. In 2008,Ward worked with singer/actressZooey Deschanel on a critically ac-claimed project known as She &

Him: Volume One.Memorable Song:

“Hold Time,” the title track of the album, showcases Ward at his

best. Simple layers of strings andpiano accompany ethereal vocalsand provide a strong support forthe deep lyrics. “You were beyondcomprehension tonight, but I under-stood.” “Jailbird” is another strongtrack with a straightforward pop-sensibility and catchy lyrics.

Forgettable Song:

“Oh, Lonesome Me,” a DonGibson cover featuring Lucinda

Williams, is by far the black sheepof the record. The track starts outalright, but soon Williams’s raspyvocals take over. Her delivery is soodd and out of place on the smoothtrack that it sounds like she’s re-covering from a bad head cold, notsinging.

Final Thoughts:

This is a country record for thosewho do not like country music. Donot expect to hear Garth Brooks, oreven Johnny Cash, but think SamCooke meets Elvis meets BrightEyes. Ward’s simple country/gos-pel/indie sound is mellow enough torelax listeners, yet catchy enough togarner repeated listening.

Music Review: Hold Time, M. WardTim Weilert

Content Manager



s p o r t sMarch 23, 2009 Page


I could hear voices, possibly

hundreds of voices, but couldn’t

see more than ve feet in front of me. It was im-

possibly dark.I’d never been

in a place so

dark outside

of a cave. The

sky felt a little

bit like that as it

arched above

me; or like one of those restored

domed theaters with twinkle light

ceilings, just before the movie

starts. Only more black, more vast,

lacking the sticky oors and pop-

corn smell, and with the most bril-

liant array of stars I had ever seen.

Stars must hate to be seen

wanly twinkling through the eter-

nal twilight of the metropolis. Out

in the remote night of the Rockies,

they’re in their element, stunning.I looked intently at them, trying

to catch sight of a shooting star

and wondering if I was seeing the

cloudiness of the Milky way, or just

some steam rising.

The steam rose in bits and bil-

lows as it rolled off the water, ob-

scuring everything, and then van-

ishing. In my blindness, I naturally

felt the need to explore. Coarse

sand squished under my toes, and

my ngers felt moss growing overthe rock walls, but I couldn’t see

any of it as I dipped down in the

water, allowing only my head to

break the surface. I had to tread

Sarah McMurray

Staff Writer

Steamed strawberries discoveredcarefully, peering through the mist;

my arms slightly out in front. Cloth-

ing is optional after dark, and the

uneven, sandy bottom of the pool

was throwing me off-balance. I

had opted for clothing, but I didn’t

want to tip

bodily intosomeone who

hadn’t.

Strawber-

ry Park Hot

Springs. It

was denitelywith good

reason that this place was named

Best Hot Springs in the north-

west region of Colorado by the

Colorado’s Best guidebook. The

book names the best of

everything, from canyons

to cinnamon rolls, within

a region. I got the book to

aid with my beginner’s ex-

ploration of my new home

state and haven’t been

disappointed yet. At the entrance to the

rst pool, the water falls infrom its source at a toasty

135°F. It quickly became

overpowering though,

and my companions and I

wove our way through the throng

to locate another, more moder-

ate pool. I wanted to cling to my

leader like a child in a mall, about

to be swept away by a crowd of

Christmas shoppers. I made do

with a nger on her shoulder so wewouldn’t be separated.

I knew there were more pools,

and I wanted to set out to look for

them. Perhaps a gem had been

overlooked by everyone in this

darkness. So, I made my friends

stay in the same place so I could

nd them again and made my si-lent cruise around the pool. I felt

like some sort of giant, deadly

water snake, passing groups un-detected – a couple making out,

a circle of loud friends who had

snuck in a digital camera, people

who were trying to get high but

couldn’t keep their weed dry.

Each emerged from the steam as

I approached and vanished as I

passed by.

At last, I located steps and

crawled up to see over the wall.

There it was! A pristine, empty

pool was mine for the taking. I

didn’t dare fate by asking why it

had been overlooked. I should

have. I quickly got in and got out

even quicker. There happen to be

only three pools, and that was the

cold one. ‘Refreshing in summer,’ I

thought, and snaked my way back

to my friends.

A summer daylight visit is im-

perative. My guidebook reports

that Strawberry Park employs two

full-time gardeners “and it shows.”

Unlike some other hot springs

that look more like spas or public

pools, Strawberry Park has tried to

maintain a primitive, natural feel,

making relaxation its primary fo-cus.

This incred-

ibly surreal ex-

perience is not

without a price

though. Okay, so the price is only

ten dollars (ten dollars!). But if you

slip off the road in the middle of

winter, you may have to tack on a

$500 ne.Strawberry Park is located

about 45 minutes outside of

Steamboat Springs, with the

last couple miles of the drive

being dirt road. I use the term

‘road’ very loosely. It was re-

ally more like a gray Swiss

cheese trail. The percentage

of the road that was pot-holes was truly astounding.

The jerk in the anonymous

monster vehicle that drove

up on us and rode our tail

the rest of the way there was

also astounding. Could he

not feel the pain that each jolt into

the unavoidable holes brought?

Was he not afraid his humungous

vehicle was going to tumble off the

narrow road down the sheer side

of the mountain? I guess not.

It’s a testament to the amaz-

ing rejuvenating power of these

natural mineral springs and the

entire weird steamy experience

that, within ve minutes of being inthe water, I got over my initial fury

that was roused upon entering

the property after my bumpy ride.

Word to the wise: bring a ashlight. There are no lights in the parking

lot. There are no lights along the

path. There are no lights anywherenear the hot

springs or

changing tee-

pee (yes, tee-

pee). It’s a zig-

zag branching path down to water

that we couldn’t see, and we took

the wrong turn down an embank-

ment into ankle deep mud.

With our muddy, cold entrance

behind us and our aqueous solu-

tion before us, we eventually stum-

bled into a pleasant little enclave in

the wall with a built in stone seat at

just the right depth for neck-deep

submersion. If my pal had been of

a different gender, it would’ve been

the perfect place to snuggle up. As

it was, we just had a conversationabout it and about the fact that we

thought we heard drumming in the

distance.

When the draw of the drum-

ming could no longer be ignored,

we poked our little heads up over

the wall. To my utter astonishment,

not only was the drumming louder,

but two orange, ery orbs werespinning through the steam be-

yond. A re show!What more can I say? A re

show in a warm, wet, steamy, ut-

terly dark and alien environment?

It was the best ten dollars I’ve ever

spent.

Stars must hate to be seen

wanly twinkling through

the eternal twilight of the

metropolis.

At the entrance to the frst pool,

the water falls in from its source at

a toasty 135°F. It quickly became

overpowering though, and my

companions and I wove our way

through the throng to locate an-

other, more moderate pool.

Word to the wise: bring a

ashlight.



o p i n i o n March 23, 2009Page 10


two ents¢ T im ’ s

Commenter cultureTim Weilert

Content Manager

An open and free exchange of

ideas exists mere inches from our

ngertips. Perhaps one of the most

intriguing things about the internet

is the direct parallels to philosophi-

cal reality. Within the last century

we’ve seen the rise of post-mod-

ernism, and an underlying driving

force: relativism. This article is not

designed to argue semantics, but

instead challenge the status quo.

A phenomenon I’m calling “com-

menter culture” exists because rel-

ativism and technology have been

working hand in glove.

Anyone who is familiar with

YouTube will know what I’m talking

about when I propose that 99%

of comments on videos are inane

chatter, often slipping toward pure

vulgarity. YouTube stands as one

example of the “commenter cul-

ture” that has developed alongside

the internet. To have your opinions

published used to take some level

of skill: an understanding of writing,

the topic of discussion, and a repu-

table outlet.

Anyone can start a blog, upload

a video, post on a message board,

and critique art, science, religion,

culture, etc. Intellect has died be-

cause the authority behind such

expressions is oftentimes not pres-

ent. You don’t need to be educat-

ed in a particular eld to publish an

opinion, you just need a computer.

The real tragedy is that almost all

opinions (including those that have

no authoritative backing) are con-

sidered valid and equal.

Fortunately there still exists a di-

vide between most scientic study

and “commenterism” (in the form

of scientic, peer-reviewed, jour-

nals.) As an internet user, I have

been guilty of taking advantage

of the easy expression of opinion,

however, as an engineering stu-

dent, I still believe in authority and

the need for education.

Roby Brost

Staff Writer

Celebrating springtimeMinds at Mines

This past week brought the rst day of spring. Normally typied by snowstorms with multiple feet of snow

and chilly weather, spring in Colorado nonetheless brings up happy memories. This year, there wasn’t a bliz-

zard over Spring Break, just beautiful weather. With the outdoors sunny and warm, many students at Colorado

School of Mines are seizing the opportunity to be outside while the sunshine lasts. These warm days rekindle

happy springtime memories from the past, and fellow students at Mines recount the best parts about spring

both past and present.

“Spring is time to go ski A Basin with a keg in my trunk. My fa-

vorite memory of spring is probably playing tennis in high school.”

Dan Williamson and Erik Johnson

“My favorite part about springtime is that it’s the time when all the owers start

popping up. It’s so colorful. It brings back childhood memories of breaking the icicles

off of the roof and sucking on them like Popsicles.”Mary Snooks

“The best part about spring is the warm weather. It’s the best

time to just take a nap on the grass. When I was little, the best part

was being able to plant a garden with my Mom.”

Sarah Cooper

“Spring brings spring football. It’s the perfect time; not too hot, not too

cold. My best memory is of my rst bike ride. I remember it being in the

spring.”

Ryan Marcellus

“My best childhood memory in the spring was eld day at elementary school.

Everyone knows it was the coolest. The best part of spring now still has to do with

school. It’s the time right before we get out for the summer.”

Eric Threet

“When I was younger springtime meant teasing the cows on my dirt bike.

The best part about spring is when it’s warm. Being able to go biking, be

outside and of course, slack lines. Fun stuff like that. ”

Timothy O’Rourke

Last week, I attended a class that

teaches Mines Students about En-

gineering and Sustainable Com-

munity Development (ESCD). The

central concern of the discussionwas understanding the community.

Professor Jon Leydens invoked and

guided the discussion and David

Frossard is the Primary instructor of

this class. Jon and David roleplayed

a case that happened in Lesotho.

While Jon role played as an ethnog-

rapher, David took the role of one of

the richest pastoralists in Lesotho, a

country in Southern part of Africa.

There was a problem Jon sought

in Lesotho. Cattle were dying, but the

pastoralists didn’t want to sell them

to get money. He didn’t know that

for the pastoralists in Lesotho, cattle

were worth more than money. David,

until the end of the roleplay, remained

a lover of cattle rather than money.

He would rather all of his cattle die

than sell them. After the roleplay, stu-

dents gave their ideas on what the

Engineer should do when thinking of

starting a project in a particular com-

munity. The class agreed that, under-

standing the community’s valuables

is vital and foremost.

I would like to connect this case

to the story of Women and Eggs.

When I was young, every day

after dinner, we would gather at our

grandfather’s compound to hear sto-

ries. Our grandfather meant to hand

down our society’s cultural values

through oral tradition. Through sto-

ries, we would be able to remem-

ber, uphold, and honor our culture.

One day, as he nished narrating the

story he asked, “What does this story

teach us?” We all responded in uni-

son, “Expectant mothers shouldn’t

eat eggs.” He said, “Very good. So

when you marry, don’t let your wives

eat eggs when they are expecting.”

The answer to us was so obvi-

ous because he told us that if an ex-

pecting woman eats eggs, then the

baby will be born without hair on the

head making the head look like an

egg. Beause of this, women decided

not to eat eggs at all because hair is

something valuable.

When I went to school, my nutri-

tion teacher, who was a white British

woman, taught that eggs are nutri-

tious and she recommended that

expecting mothers eat them. I was

confused. I honored my grandfatherbut I didn’t want to offend my teach-

er, too. I remained with that dilemma

for more than fteen years.

When I was 25-years old, I had a

private conversation with my grand-

father, Mayokola. I wanted to un-

derstand more about why women

shouldn’t eat eggs. To my surprise,

he said that there was nothing wrong

for women to eat eggs, but the health

circumstances forced the elders to

make eggs a taboo for women. They

understood that eggs were nutritious

and that if a pregnant woman eats

them, the baby in the womb would

be healthy and grow big. Before the

inception of this taboo, many babies

and mothers died due to delivery

complications. There were no hos-

pitals or experts who knew how to

increase the way through which the

baby had to come out. So if the baby

was bigger than the way, death was

the expected.

As a preventive measure to this

problem, they thought that it would

be rational if the expecting moth-

ers ate less protein so as to limit the

growth of the baby in the womb.

Eggs were more easily available than

other sources of protein. Since hair

was valued, they created a taboo for

women not to eat eggs to prevent

deaths.

Before my grandfather explained

to me this reason, I thought that men

were greedy. They wanted the best

things for themselves and maltreating

women; of course this was the ar-

gument of my nutrition teacher. She

didn’t want to nd out why eggs were

a taboo for women. She prejudged

the practice. My call to Engineers who

plan to engage in community devel-

opment is that your project will only

be sustainable if you take initiatives to

understand the community you work

with. “Learn their language before

teaching them your language.”

Cultural DiversitiesWhy women should not eat eggsGeorges M. Ngonyani

Staff Writer



s a t i r eMarch 23, 2009 Page 11


PETA (People for the Ethical Treat-ment of Animals) has canceled allplanned recruitment dinners at TheColorado School of Mines. They is-sued a written statement on recycledcotton paper to the AP (AssociatedPress) regarding their planned han-dling of what has been called the‘Mines hates animals’ incident. Un-fortunately, no one in the AP cared.Fortunately, an unpaid intern, with adegree from Boulder in Humanities,faxed the Oredigger a copy (You canthank him from 4-11 PM, MTWR @

checkout stand #5 in King Soopersin Golden):It has come to the attention of

PETA that the Colorado School of Mines has been and continues toactively support the abuse of Mulesin third-world mining operations. Themules are not properly trained onmine evacuation procedure. Theyare not even given proper respira-tion protection, as stipulated by theMSHAM (Mining Safety and Health

Administration for Mules) regulation#4. And, worst of all, the mules areused to place explosives that their hu-man counterparts refuse to.

Until it can be discerned that CSMno longer teaches or en-dorses these practices,

PETA has ofcially can-celed all planned recruit-ment efforts at CSM. Weencourage all other com-panies who take the timeto think about our evolu-tionarily-challenged friendto do the same. Together,we can make a difference.

With a downwardturning economy, the En-vironmental Engineeringdepartment stands to loseout on 3 internships fortheir graduating seniors.PETA had planned to hire3 interns to design an en-

PETA ProblemsAdam Freeland

Dog Lover

vironmentally conscious way to con-trol malaria in Africa without harmingany mosquitoes. Their former effortswith Chemical Engineering internswere thought to be a failure, until now.

PETA has sequestered all infor-mation about a chemical developedby Chemical Engineers that had thecapability to eradicate mosquitoesin any given area with no humanside effects. The substance was sosafe that many scientists consumedspoonfuls of it in demonstrations.We only know of this chemical froman internal PETA memo in which aboard member, presumably an ape,stated, “It would be wrong to say thatthe prospect of saving 2,000,000people a year is worth killing billions of mosquitoes and a few birds. We canproudly look at those people and say,‘You are the bravest of us all.’”

Mines has allocated $470,000 inanticipated economic stimulus grantmoney to investigate the mule abuseissue. It is widely believed that thisentire ‘Mines hates animals’ incidentstemmed from a single PETA ofcial

who, while looking at an image of Blaster, saw the stick of dynamite.

As he stood up in shock, he poppedhis back triggering an LSD ashback.

During this ashback, he imagined

that the mining practices of the pastcenturies were still in place.

“Blaster. A last meal before venturing

into the mine.”

ADAM FREELAND / OREDIGGER

Research being conducted at theCenter for Rationalizing Youth Sub-culture (CRYS) has nally achieved

a breakthrough in the explanationfor the subculture in today’s youthknown as “emo.” This demograph-ic usually consists of high schoolstudents who are sad all the time,cannot see behind their bangs, andlisten to Dashboard Confessional. A large amount of governmental fundshave been allocated for research tothe cause of the emo. Scientists atCRYS have nally broken the code

and seem to know what causes aperson to become emo: hoodies.

Lead researcher at CRYS, Dr.Drew Meyer, gave this statementat a conference, “It’s quite simple,really. The hoodie has just enoughextra weight that is only distributedaround the head and neck. This ex-tra weight causes distortions in thespine that produces large amountsof pain in the wearer.” Throughpsychological analysis of test sub-

jects, this pain leads to depression,thoughts of suicide, and tolerance

Hoodies cause emoBenjamin M. Weilert

Right to Bare Arms

Scientists confrm correlationfor My Chemical Romance.

CRYS’s statistical analyst, Dr. Kur-tis Griess, says that the data collectedleaves almost an undeniable correla-tion between wearing a hoodie andbeing emo. “Compared to our controlset, who wore just normal sweat-shirts, the people who wore hoodiestended to exhibit emo behavior evenafter just one instance of wearing ahoodie. In fact, once the hoodie wasremoved from the test subjects, theycontinued to show evidence of beingemo.”

The hoodie correlation was obvi-ous in the subjects who were no lon-ger wearing the clothing item, as theytried to replicate the effect of wearinga hoodie. Hairstyles of these subjectstended to be mid-length, with bangsthat would cover the eyes, replicatingthe shadows and darkness producedwhen a hoodie is worn on the head.Long sleeve shirts worn underneath

T-shirts were another sign of a post-hoodie subject. “Perhaps the longsleeves of the hoodie are used tohide the scars on their arms from ex-tended razor-blade use,” explainedDr. Meyer, “However, since we havebeen unable to see the bare arms

of these subjects, this theorem ispurely hypothetical.”

Another disturbing statistic of theemo is its tolerance to the genre of music referred to as “screamo.” Dr.Griess explains, “Since most of thehoodie wearers wear their hood up,there is a natural barrier to acousticalstimulants. In order to overcome thisbarrier, the music they listen to mustbe louder and more angst lled than

the normal “emo” music provides.”Music also seems to be the primarynourishment for the emo. However,due to its low nutritional value, mu-

sic does not constitute a healthydaily diet, thereby causing the emoto be much skinnier than the rest of the obese, general public.

Despite nding the link between

the hoodie and the creation of theemo, as of present time, no cure hasbeen found. Common prescriptionsfor emo are sunlight, interaction withother people, outdoor activities, andlarge doses of speed and/or discomusic. If you or someone you knowmay be emo, please consult yourfamily physician and/or Hot Topicfor a correct diagnosis.

The math majors of Mines have just returned from their annual Flat-land Field Trip, an intercollegiateevent for “students so nerdy, theyhave blown-up pictures of Riemann,Euler, and Cauchy on their walls”said event coordinator Dr. JordanCampbell. Though FFT has beenheld since 1965, this is the rst time

that The Oredigger has been al-lowed to cover it. “We realized wewere being too insular,” admittedCampbell, “and less people were

majoring in mathematics becausethey didn’t get to see this – we usedto restrict FFT to juniors and abovemajoring in theoretical mathemat-ics only, but we’ve denitely been

loosening the requirements. Twentyyears ago, you had no hope of com-ing if you were a Mines student; nowat least we let the Computationalscome… still a bit leery about theStats.”

The two-day conference beganlast Friday, when most universities

Janeen Neri

Mathematical Punologist

Mathematical Geology Spring conference:are wrapping up their spring breaks.

The students were bused in to Port-land International Airport, wherethey were greeted by 11 charteredKM-p13x planes. There were sev-eral noticeable oohs and aahs atthis point. Once everyone had got-ten onto the planes, each group gota short history of FFT. “Our namecomes from a famous book by Ed-win Abbott,” explained Dr. HermannChristoffel, one of the tour guides, “Iwonder how many of you have readit?” At this point, several hands shotup. Christoffel went on to explainthat Flatland: A Romance of Many

Dimensions, written in 1884 as asocial satire, is now known for theway that it makes the reader able tograsp the experience of one, two,and even four-dimensional space.“We will not be traveling to Flatland,I’m afraid,” Christoffel remarked,“but we hope that our eld trip will

be just as eye-opening.”Seven hours later, the planes

touched down on a small island inthe Pleiss Sea. When asked where,precisely, we were, Christoffel re-

sponded mysteriously “it won’tbe on your map, but it has beenmapped.” Most of the studentsnodded in understanding as theyunbuckled their seatbelts and re-trieved their luggage.

The landscape outside wasfairly ordinary, something whichconfused some of the students.“Wait, how is it possible that thereare hills, but you don’t have issueswith innite cliffs?” asked Mines

sophomore Mary Rudin. “Well,”Christoffel replied, “does anyonehave any ideas?” One studentcalled out “Because it’s undened

past the coast?” Christoffel shook his head. “No, negative values

are not undened. They’re just wet.

Anyone else?” After pausing for abeat, he added, “Come, I’ll showyou how it can be bounded.” At this,he began leading the group towarda fenced-off pasture area.

The owner of the area, JimDoyne, proceeded to show thestudents his orchard of synguleratrees, stunted little plants laden withedible fruit. “One o’ these things,”Doyne said, “and you’re looking ata typical yield t to ll two pies, aye.

Got to make certain you get themin when you’re setting the contourof your fence, otherwise your land’s

worth nothing.” The mathematicsstudents were taking rapid notes bythis point.

After they were nished exploring

the orchard, Christoffel led the groupto a at plain, where they formed a

ring and did some group algebraproblems before heading to bed.

The next morning, the studentswere given a tour of the Center forMathematical Biology. The buildingwas lled with stacks and stacks of

square and rectangular Petri dishes.In each dish were neat rows andcolumns of tiny organisms, “whichdisplay interesting interactions, eventransformations, when broughtnear other colonies,” Christoffel ex-plained. After several demonstra-

tions with different sizes and shapesof colonies, the students were al-lowed a few hours to experimentbefore it was time to head back tothe planes.

As the students got off the KM-p13x planes and back into theirbuses, Campbell reminded them to“be sure to come back next year!If our shuttle construction stays onschedule, we’ll be visiting Euclideanplanets in FFT 193!”

Flatland feld trip 191

“Flatland. The Center for

Mathematical Biology and a

syngulera tree.”

ADAM FREELAND / OREDIGGER



a d v e r t i s e m e n t s March 23, 2009Page 12


• Proudly Serving

Allegro Coffee & TeA

• orgAniC eSPreSSo drinkS

• Hormone-free Milk • Do you work on Campus on Satur-days? You can now get your AFPP(afternoon face plant prevention)at the Book & Brew from noon -4:00PM• Also open Sundays 1:00-9:00PM

the oredigger issue 21 - march 23, 2009

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