the night of long knives

7/29/2019 The Night of Long Knives

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/the-night-of-long-knives 1/61

THENIGHTOFTHELONGKNIVES

ByFRITZLEIBER

ILLUSTRATEDbyFINLAY

CHAPTER1

_Anymanwhosawyou,orevenheardyourfootstepsmustbeambushed,stalkedandkilled,whetherneededforfoodornot.Otherwise,solongashisstrengthheldout,hewouldbeonyourtrail._

--TheTwenty-FifthHour,_byHerbertBest_

IwasonehundredmilesfromNowhere--andImeanthatliterally--whenIspottedthisgirloutofthecornerofmyeye.I'dbeenkeepinganextralookoutbecauseIstillexpectedtheotherundeadbuggerleftoverfromthemurderpartyatNowheretobestalkingme.

[Illustration:Theyweretwodesperatescavengersinano-man'slandofradiationanddeath.]

I'dbeenfollowingalineofhigh-voltagetowersallcantedoveratthesamegentlemanlytipsyanglebyanoldblastfromtheLastWar.Ijudgedthegirlwasgoinginthesamegeneraldirectionandwasbeingedgedovertowardmycoursebyadriftofdustthatevenatmydistanceshoweddangerousmetallicgleamsanddarkhumpsthatmightbedeadmenorcattle.

Shelookedslim,darktopped,andonguard.Smalllikemeandlikemewearingascarflooselyaroundthelowerhalfofherfaceinthestyle

oftheoldbuckaroos.

Wedidn'twaveorturnourheadsorgivetheslightestindicationwe'dseeneachotherasourpathsslowlyconverged.Butwewereintensely,minutelywatchful--IknewIwasandshehadbetterbe.

Overheadtheskywasalowdusthaze,asalways.Idon'trememberwhatahighskylookslike.ThreeyearsagoIthinkIsawVenus.OritmayhavebeenSiriusorJupiter.

Thehotsmokylightwasturningfromtheamberofmiddaytothebloodybronzeofevening.

ThelineoftowersIwasfollowingshowedthefaintestspreadinthedirectionoftheircanting--theymusthavebeenonlyafewmilesfromblastcenter.AsIpassedeachoneIcouldseewherethemetalontheblastsidehadbeeneroded--vaporizedbytheoriginalblast,mostlysmoothly,butwithweltsandpustuleswherethemetalhadmerelymeltedandrun.Isupposedthelinesthetowerscarriedhadallbeenvaporizedtoo,butwiththehazeIcouldn'tbesure,thoughIdidseethreedarkblobsuptherethatmightbevulturesperching.

Fromthedriftaroundthefootofthenearesttowerahumanskullpeered



whitely.Thatisratherunusual.Yearslaternowyoustillseemoredeadbodieswiththemeatonthemthanskeletons.Intenseradiationhaskilledtheirbacteriaandpreservedthemindefinitelyfromdecay,justlikethepackagedmeatinthelastadvertisements.Infactsuchbodiesareoneofthesignsofareallyhotdrift--youavoidthem.Thevulturespassupsuchpoisonouslyhotcarriontoo--they'velearnedtheirlesson.

Aheadsomebiggastanksbegantoloomup,likedeformedbattleshipsandflat-topsinasmokescreen,theirprowsbeingthejunctureofthenaturalcurveoftheoff-blastsidewiththemassiveconcavityoftheon-blastside.

NoneofthethreeotherbuggersandmehadhadtooclearanideaofwhereNowherehadbeen--hence,inpart,thename--butIknewinageneralwaythatIwassomewhereintheDeathlandsbetweenPorterCountyandOuachitaParish,probablymuchnearertheformer.

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It'sarealmixed-upAmericawe'vegotthesedays,youknow,withjustthefaintesttrickleofasenseofidentityleft,likeaguyinthepaddedestcellinthemostlockedupwardinthewholeloonybin.IfatimetravelerfrommidTwentiethCenturyhoppedforwardtoitacrossthefewinterveningyearsandlookedatamapofit,ifanybodyhasamapof

it,he'dthinkthatthemaphadrun--thatithadgotsomesortofdiseasethathadswollenafewtinypartsbeyondallbounds,papertumors,whilemostoftheotherparts,thepartsherememberedcarryingnamesinsuchbigprintandshowingsuchboldcolors,hadshrunktonothingness.

Totheeasthe'dseeAtlanticHighlandsandSavannahFortress.Tothewest,WallaWallaTerritory,PacificPalisades,andLosAlamos--andtherehe'dseeanactualchangeinthecoastline,I'mtold,wherethreeofthebiggeststockpilesoffusionablesletgoandopenedDeathValleytothesea--sothatLosAlamosisclosertobeingaport.Centrallyhe'dfindPorterCountyandMantenoAsylumsurprisinglyclosetogetherneartheGreatLakes,whicharetiltedandspilledoutabittowardthe

southwestwiththebigquake.South-centrally:OuachitaParishinchinguptheMississippifromoldLouisianaunderthecruelurgingoftheFisherSheriffs.

Thosehe'dfindandafew,averyfewotherplaces,includingacoupleIsupposeIhaven'theardof.Practicallyallofthemwouldsurprisehim--noonecanpredictwhatscrapsofablastednationaregoingtohangontoashredoforganizationandruthlesslymaintainitandveryslowlyandveryjealouslyextendit.

Butbiggestofall,occupyingpracticallyallthemap,reducingallthoseswollenlocalitiesI'vementionedbacktotinyblobs,boundingmostofAmericaandthrustingitsjettypseudopodseverywhere,he'dsee

thegreatinkblotoftheDeathlands.Idon'tknowhowelsethanbyanareaofsolid,absolutelyunrelievedblackyou'drepresenttheDeathlandswithitsmulticoloredradioactivedustsanditsskimpyfreightageoflonelyDeathlanders,eachboundonhismurderous,utterlypointless,bututterlyabsorbingbusiness--anareawherenameslikeNowhere,It,Anywhere,andthePlacearethemostnaturalthingintheworldwhenafewofusdecidetotrytopaddowntogetherforafewnervousmonthsorweeks.

AsIsay,IwassomewhereintheDeathlandsnearMantenoAsylum.



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Thegirlandmeweregettingclosernow,wellwithinpistolordartrangethoughbeyondanybutthemostexpertorluckyknifethrow.Sheworebootsandaweatheredlong-sleevedshirtandjeans.Theblacktoppingwashair,piledhighinanelaboratecoiffurethatwasheldinplacebytwistedshavingsofbrightmetal.Afinebug-trap,Itoldmyself.

Inherlefthand,whichwasclosesttome,shecarriedadartgun,pointedawayfromme,acrossherbody.Itwasthekindofpotenttinycrossbowyoucan'teasilytellwhetherthespringisloaded.Backaroundonherlefthipasmallleathersatchelwasstrappedtoherbelt.Alsoonthesamesideweretwosheathedknives,oneofwhichwasanoddity--ithadnohandle,justthebaretang.Fornothingbutthrowing,Iguessed.

IletmyownlefthanddriftalittleclosertomyBanker'sSpecialinitsopenholster--RayBaker'sgreatpsychologicalweapon,though(whoknows?)thetwo.38cartridgesitcontainedmightactuallyfire.TheoneI'dputtothetestatNowherehad,andveryluckyforme.

Sheseemedtobehidingherrightarmfromme.ThenIspottedtheweapon

itheld,oneyoudon'toftensee,astevedore'shook.She_was_hidingherrighthand,allright,shehadthelongsleevepulleddownoveritsojustthehookstuckout.Iaskedmyselfifthehandwereperhapscoveredwithradiationscarsorsoresorotherwisedisfigured.WeDeathlandershaveourvanities.I'msensitiveaboutmybaldness.

ThensheletherrightarmswingmorefreelyandIsawhowshortitwas.Shehadnorighthand.Thehookwasattachedtothewriststump.

Ijudgedshewasabouttenyearsyoungerthanme.I'mpushingforty,Ithink,thoughsomepeoplehavejudgedI'myounger.Nowayofmyknowingforsure.Inthislifeyouforgettrifleslikechronology.

Anyway,theagedifferencemeantshewouldhavequickerreflexes.I'dhavetokeepthatinmind.

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ThegreenishlyglintingdustdriftthatI'djudgedshewasavoidingswungcloserahead.Thegirl'sleftelbowgavealittlekicktothesatchelonherhipandtherewasasuddenburstofirregularticksthatalmostmademestart.IsteadiedmyselfandconcentratedonthinkingwhetherIshouldattachanyspecialsignificancetohercarryingaGeigercounter.Naturallyitwasn'tthesortofthinkingthatinterferedinanywaywithmywatchfulness--youquicklylosethehabitofthatkindofthinkingintheDeathlandsoryoulosesomethingelse.

Itcouldmeanshewassomesortofgreenhorn.Mostofusold-timerscanvisuallyjudgetheheatofadustdriftorcraterorrayedareamorereliablythananyinstrument.Somebuggersclaimtheyjustfeelit,thoughI'veneverknownanyofthelattertooeagertonavigateinunfamiliarcountryatnight--whichyou'dthinkthey'dbewillingtodoiftheycouldfeelheatblind.

Butshedidn'tlookonebitlikeatenderfoot--likeforinstancesomecitizenessnewlybanishedfromManteno.OrlikesomePorterburgher's



unfaithfulwifeortroublesomegirlfriendwhomhe'dpersonallycartedoutbeyondtheridgesofcleaned-outhotdustthathelpguardsuchplaces,andthenabandonedinrevengeorfromboredom--andtheycallthemselvescivilized,thoseculturalqueers!

No,shelookedlikeshe_belonged_intheDeathlands.Butthenwhythecounter?

Hereyesmightbebad,realbad.Ididn'tthinkso.Sheraisedherbootanextrainchtostepoveralittlejaggedfragmentofconcrete.No.

Maybeshewasjustaborndouble-checker,usingsciencetobackupknowledgebasedonexperienceasrichasmyownorricher.I'vemetthesuper-carefultypebefore.Theymostlygetalongprettywell,buttheytendtobeashadetooslowintheclutches.

Maybeshewas_testing_thecounter,planningtouseitsomeotherwayortradeitforsomething.

Maybeshemadeapracticeoftravelingbynight!Thenthecountermadegoodsense.Butthenwhyuseitbyday?Whyrevealittomeinanycase?

Wasshetryingtoconvincemethatshewasagreenhorn?Orhadshehopedthatthesuddennoisewouldthrowmeoffguard?Butwhowouldgotothe

troubleofcarryingaGeigercounterforsuchdeviouspurposes?Andwouldn'tshehavewaiteduntilwegotcloserbeforetryingthenoisegambit?

Think-shmink--itgetsyounowhere!

Shekickedoffthecounterwithanotherbumpofherelbowandstartedtoedgeintowardmefaster.Iturnedthethinkingalloffandgavemywholemindtowatchfulness.

Soonwewerebarelymorethaneightfeetapart,almostwithinlungingrangewithouteventhepreliminaryone-twostep,andstillwehadn'tspokenorlookedstraightateachother,thoughbeingthatclosewe'd

hadtocantourheadsaroundabittokeepeachotherinperipheralvision.Oureyeswouldbeoneachothersteadilyforfiveorsixseconds,thendartforwardaninstanttocheckforrocksandholesinthetrailwewerefollowinginparallel.Aculturalqueerfromoneofthe"civilized"placeswouldhavefounditfunny,Isuppose,ifhe'dbeenabletowatchusperforminanarenaorfrombehindarmorglassforhisexclusivepleasure.

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Thegirlhadeyebrowsasblackasherhair,whichinitspiled-upandmetal-knottedsavagerycalledtomindAfricanqueensdespitehertypicalpalecomplexion--verylittleultravioletgetsthroughthedust.Fromthe

insidecornerofherrighteyesocketanarrowradiationscarranupbetweenhereyebrowsandacrossherforeheadatarakishangleuntilitdisappearedunderasweepofhairattheupperleftcornerofherforehead.

I'dbeensmellingher,ofcourse,forsometime.

Icouldeventellthecolorofhereyesnow.Theywereblue.It'sacoloryouneversee.Almostnodustshaveabluishcast,therearefewblueobjectsexceptcertaindarksteels,theskynevergetsveryfar



awayfromtheorangerange,thoughitisgreenfromtimetotime,andwaterreflectsthesky.

Yes,shehadblueeyes,blueeyesandthatjauntyscar,blueeyesandthatjauntyscarandadartgunandasteelhookforarighthand,andwewerewalkingsidebyside,eightfeetapart,notaninchcloser,stillnotlookingstraightateachother,stillnotsayingaword,andIrealizedthattheinitialperiodofunadulteratedwatchfulnesswasover,thatI'dhadadequateopportunitytoinspectthisgirlandsizeherup,andthatnightwascomingonfast,andthathereIwas,onceagain,backwith_theproblemofthetwourges_.

Icouldtryeithertokillherorgotobedwithher.

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Iknowthatatthispointtheculturalqueers(andcertainlyourimaginarytimetravelerfrommidTwentiethCentury)wouldmakeagreatnoiseaboutnotunderstandingandnotbelievinginthegenuinenessofthesimpleurgetomurderthatgovernsthelivesofusDeathlanders.Likedetective-storypundits,theywouldsaythatamanorwomanmurdersforgain,orconcealmentofcrime,orfromthwartedsexualdesireoroutragedsexualpossessiveness--andmaybetheywouldlistafewother"rational"motives--butnot,theywouldsay,justforthesimplesakeof

murder,forthesurereleaseandreliefitgives,forthesakeofwipingoutonerecognizablebitmore(theclosestbitwecan,sincethoseofuswiththecourageorlazyrationalitytowipeoutourselveshavelongsincedoneso)--wipingoutonerecognizablebitmoreofthewholemiserable,unutterablydisgustinghumanmess.Unless,theywouldsay,apersoniscompletelyinsane,whichisactuallyhowalloutsidersviewusDeathlanders.Theycanthinkofusinnootherway.

Iguessculturalqueersandtimetravelerssimply_don't_understand,thoughtobesoblinditseemstomethattheyhavetooverlookmuchofthehistoryoftheLastWarandofthesubsequentyears,especiallythemushroomingofcrackpotcultswithamurdertinge:thewerewolfgangs,theBerserkersandAmuckers,therevivalofShivaworshipandtheBlack

Mass,themachinewreckers,thekill-the-killersmovements,thenewwitchcraft,theUnholyCreepers,theUnconsciousers,theradioactivebluegodsandrocketdevilsoftheAtomites,andadozenothergroupingsclearlyprefiguringDeathlanderpsychology.ThosecultshadallbeenasunpredictableasThuggeeortheDancingMadnessoftheMiddleAgesortheChildren'sCrusade,yettheyhadhappenedjustthesame.

Butculturalqueersaregoodatoverlookingthings.Theyhavetobe,Isuppose.Theythinkthey'rehumanitygrowingagain.Yes,despitetheirlaughablewarpednessandhystericalcrippledness,theyactuallybelieve--eachhowlinglydifferentcommunityofthem--thatthey'rethenewAdamsandEves.They'reallexcitedaboutthemselvesandwhetherornottheywearfigleaves.Theydon'tcarrywiththem,twenty-fourhours

aday,likeusDeathlandersdo,theburdenofallthatwasforeverlost.

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SinceI'vegonethisfarI'llgoabitfurtherandmaketheparadoxicaladmissionthatevenusDeathlandersdon'treallyunderstandoururgetomurder.Oh,wehaveourrationalizationsofit,justlikeeveryonehasofhisrulingpassion--wecallourselvesjunkmen,scavengers,gangrenesurgeons;wesometimesbelievewe'redoingthepersonwekilltheultimatekindness,yesandgetslobberytearfulaboutitafterwards;we



sometimestellourselveswe'vefinallyfoundandarerubbingouttheonemanorwomanwhowasresponsibleforeverything;wetalk,mostlytoourselves,abouttheaestheticsofhomicide;weoccasionallyadmit,butonlyeachtohimselfalone,thatwe'rejustplainnuts.

Butwedon'treallyunderstandoururgetomurder,weonly_feel_it.

Atthehatefulsightofanotherhumanbeing,wefeelitbeginstogrowinusuntilitbecomesanoverpoweringimpulsethatjerksus,likeapuppetisjerkedbyitsstrings,intotheactitselforitsattemptedcommission.

LikeIwasfeelingitgrowinmenowaswedidthisparalleldeathmarchthroughthereddeninghaze,meandthisgirlandourproblem.Thisgirlwiththeblueeyesandthejauntyscar.

Theproblemofthe_two_urges,Isaid.Theotherurge,thesexual,isonethatIknowallculturalqueers(andcertainlyourtimetraveler)wouldclaimtoknowallabout.Maybetheydo.ButIwonderiftheyunderstandhowintenseitcanbewithusDeathlanderswhenit'stheonlyrelease(exceptmaybeliquoranddrugs,whichweseldomcangetandevenmorerarelydareuse)--theonlycompleterelease,eventhoughabriefone,fromtheoverpoweringlonelinessandfromthetyrannyoftheurgetokill.

Toembrace,topossess,toglutluston,yesevenbrieflytolove,brieflytoshelterin--thatwasgood,thatwasareliefandreleasetobetreasured.

Butitcouldn'tlast.Youcoulddrawitout,propitupperhapsforafewdays,foramontheven(thoughsometimesnotforasinglenight)--youmightevenstarttotalktoeachotheralittle,afterawhile--butitcouldneverlast.Theglandsalwaystire,ifnothingelse.

Murderwastheonly_final_solution,theonly_permanent_release.OnlyusDeathlandersknowhowgooditfeels.Butthenafterthekillthelonelinesswouldcomeback,redoubled,andafterawhileI'dmeet

anotherhatefulhuman...

_Our_problemofthetwourges.AsIwatchedthisgirlsloggingalongparalleltome,asIkeptconstantwatchonherofcourse,Iwonderedhow_she_wasfeelingthetwourges.Wassheattractedtotheridgyscarsonmycheekshalfrevealedbymyscarf?--tometheyhaveapleasingsymmetry.Wasshewonderinghowmyheadandfacelookedwithouttheblackfeltskullcaplow-visoredovermyeyes?Orwasshethinkingmostlyofthathookswingingintomythroatunderthechinanddraggingmedown?

Icouldn'ttell.Shelookedaspoker-facedasIwastryingto.

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Forthatmatter,Iaskedmyself,howwas_I_feelingthetwourges?--howwasIfeelingthemasIwatchedthisgirlwiththeblueeyesandthejauntyscarandthearrogantlythinnedlipsthataskedtobesmashed,andtheslenderthroat?--andIrealizedthattherewasnowaytodescribethat,noteventomyself.Icouldonlyfeelthetwourgesgrowinme,sidebyside,likemonstroustwins,untiltheywouldsimplybetoobigformytautbodyandoneofthemwouldhavetogetoutfast.



Idon'tknowwhichoneofusstartedtoslowdownfirst,ithappenedsogradually,butthedustpuffsthatrisefromthegroundoftheDeathlandsundereventhelightesttreadingbecamesmallerandsmalleraroundourstepsandfinallyvanishedaltogether,andwewerestandingstill.OnlythendidInoticetheobviousphysicaltriggerforourstopping.Anoldfreewayranatrightanglesacrossourpath.Theshoulderbywhichwe'dapproacheditwassharplyeroded,sothatthepavement,whichevenhadashallowcaveerodedunderit,wasagoodthreefeetabovethelevelofourpath,formingalowwall.FromwhereI'dstoppedIcouldalmostreachoutandtouchtherough-edgedsmooth-toppedconcrete.Socouldshe.

Wewererightinthemidstofthegastanksnow,sixorsevenofthemtoweredaroundus,squeezedlikebeercansbythedecade-oldblastbuttheirmetallookingsoundenoughuntilyoubecameawareoftheredlightshowingthroughinoddpatternsofdotsanddasheswherevaporizationorlatererosionhadbeencomplete.Almostbutnotquitelace-work.Justaheadofus,rightacrossthefreeway,wasthesix-storeyskeletalstructureofanoldcrackingplant,saggedlikethepowertowersawayfromtheblastandthelowerstoreysdriftedwithpilesandridgesandsmoothgobbetsofdust.

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Thelightwasgettingredderandsmokiereveryminute.

Withthecessationofthephysicalmovementofwalking,whichisalwayssomesortofreleaseforemotions,Icouldfeelthetwinurgesgrowingfasterinme.Butthatwasallright,Itoldmyself--thiswasthecrisis,asshemustrealizetoo,andthatshouldkeyusuptobeartheurgesalittlelongerwithoutexplosion.

Iwasthefirsttostarttoturnmyhead.ForthefirsttimeIlookedstraightintohereyesandsheintomine.Andasalwayshappensatsuchtimes,athirdurgeappearedabruptly,anurgemomentarilyasstrongastheothertwo--theurgetospeak,totellandaskallaboutit.ButevenasIstartedtophrasethefirstcrazilyhappygreeting,mythroat

lumped,asI'dknownitwould,withtheawfulmelancholyofallthatwasforeverlost,withtheuselessnessofanycommunication,withtheimpossibilityofrecreatingthepast,ourindividualpasts,anypasts.Andasitalwaysdoes,thethirdurgedied.

Icouldtellshewasfeelingthatultimatepainjustlikeme.Icouldseehereyelidssqueezedownonhereyesandherfaceliftandhershouldersgobackassheswallowedhard.

Shewasthefirsttostarttolayasideaweapon.Shetooktwosidewisestepstowardthefreewayandreachedherwholeleftarmfurtheracrossherbodyandlaidthedartgunontheconcreteanddrewbackherhandfromitaboutsixinches.Atthesametimelookingatmehard--fiercely

angrily,you'dsay--acrossherleftshoulder.Shehadtheexperiencedduelist'strickofseemingtolookintomyeyesbutactuallyfocussingonmymouth.Iwasusingthesamegimmickmyself--it'stiringtolookstraightintoanotherperson'seyesanditcanputyouoffguard.

MyleftsidewasnearestthewallsoIdidn'tforthemomenthavetheproblemofreachingacrossmybody.Itookthesamesidewisestepsshehadandusingjusttwofingers,verygingerly--_disarmingly_,Ihoped--Iliftedmyantiquefirearmfromitsholsterandlaiditontheconcreteanddrewbackmyhandfromitalltheway.Nowitwasuptoheragain,



orshouldbe.Herhookwasgoingtobequiteaproblem,Irealized,butweneedn'tcometoitrightaway.

Shetemporizedbysuccessivelyunsheathingthetwoknivesatherleftsideandlayingthembesidethedartgun.Thenshestoppedandherlooktoldmeplainlythatitwasuptome.

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NowIamabuggerwhobelievesincarrying_oneperfectknife_--otherwise,Iknowforafact,you'llgoknife-happyandendupbyweighingyourselfdownwithdozens,literally.SoIamnaturallyveryreluctanttogetoutoftouchinanywaywithMother,whoisalittlerustyalongthesidesbutmadeofthetoughestandmostsharpenablealloysteelI'veeverrunacross.

Still,Iwasmostcurioustofindoutwhatshe'ddoaboutthathook,soIfinallylaidMotherontheconcretebesidethe.38andrestedmyhandslightlyonmyhips,allreadytoenjoymyself--atleastIhopedIgavethatimpression.

Shesmiled,itwasalmostanicesmile--bynowwe'dletourscarvesdropsinceweweren'traisinganymoredust--andthenshetookholdofthehookwithherlefthandandstartedtounscrewitfromthe

leather-and-metalbasefittingoverherstump.

Ofcourse,Itoldmyself.Andhersecondknife,theonewithoutagrip,mustbethatwaysoshecouldscrewitstangintothebasewhenshewantedaknifeonherrighthandinsteadofahook.Ioughttohaveguessed.

Igrinnedmyadmirationofhermechanicalingenuityandimmediatelyunhitchedmyknapsackandlaiditbesidemyweapons.Thenathoughtoccurredtome.Iopenedtheknapsackandmovingmyhandslowlyandveryopenlysoshe'dhavenoreasontosuspectaruse,Idrewoutablanketand,tryingtoshowherbothsidesofitintheprocess,asifIwereperformingsomedamnedconjuringtrick,droppeditgentlyontheground

betweenus.

Sheunsnappedthestrapsonhersatchelthatfastenedittoherbeltandlaiditasideandthenshetookoffherbelttoo,slowlydrawingitthroughthewideloopsofweathereddenim.Thenshelookedmeaningfullyatmybelt.

Ihadtoagreewithher.Belts,especiallyheavy-buckledoneslikeours,canbenastyweapons.Iremovedmine.Simultaneouslyeachbeltjoineditscorrespondingpileofweaponsandotherbelongings.

Sheshookherhead,notinanysortofnegation,andranherfingersintotheblackhairatseveralpoints,toshowmeithidnoweapon,then

lookedatmequestioningly.InoddedthatIwassatisfied--Ihadn'tseenanythingrunoutofit,bytheway.Thenshelookedupatmyblackskullcapandsheraisedhereyebrowsandsmiledagain,thistimewithaspiceofmockinganticipation.

InsomewaysIhatetopartwiththatheadpiecemorethanIdowithMother.Notreallybecauseofitssandwichedlead-meshinnerlining--iftherayshaven'tbakedmybrainyettheyneverwillandI'msurethatthepatchesofleadmeshsewedintomypantsovermyloinsgivealotmorepracticalprotection.ButIwasgettingrealattractedtothisgirl



bynowandtherearetimeswhenapersonmustmakeasacrificeofhisvanity.Iwhippedoffmystylishblackfeltandtosseditonmypileanddaredhertolaughatmyshinyeggtop.

Strangelyshedidn'tevensmile.Shepartedherlipsandranhertonguealongtheupperone.Igaveaneagergrininreply,anincautiouslywideone,andshesawmyplatesflash.

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Myplatesaresomethingratherspecialthoughtheyarebynomeansunique.BacktowardtheendoftheLastWar,whenitwasobvioustoanyrealisthowbadthingsweregoingtobe,thoughnothowstrangelyterrible,anumberofpeople,likemyself,hadalltheirteethjerkedandreplacedwithdurableplates.Iwentsomeofthemonebetter.Myplateswerestainlesssteelbitingandchewingridges,smoothcontinuousonesthatdidn'tattempttocopyindividualteeth.Apersonwholookscloselyataslabofchewingtobacco,say,Iofferhimwillbepuzzledbythesmoothlycurvedincision,madeasifbyarazorblademountedonthearmofacompass.Magneticpowderburiedinmygumsmakesforarealnicefit.

ThissacrificewasworsethanmyhatandMothercombined,butIcouldseethegirlexpectedmetomakeitandwouldtakenosubstitutes,and

inthisattitudeIhadtoadmitthatsheshowedverysoundjudgment,becauseIkeeptheincisorpartsofthoseplatesfiledtorazorsharpness.IhavetobecarefulaboutmytongueandlipsbutIfigureit'sworthit.WithmydentalscimitarsIcaninawinkbiteoutachunkofthroatandwindpipeorjugular,thoughI'veneverhadoccasiontodosoyet.

Forthefirstminuteitmademefeellikeanoldman,arealdodderer,butbynowtheattractionthisgirlhadformewasgettingirrational.Icarefullylaidthetwoplatesontopofmyknapsack.

Inreturn,asasortofrewardyoumightsay,sheopenedhermouthwideandshowedmewhatwasleftofherownteeth--abouttwo-thirdsofthem,

apatchworkoftartarandgold.

Wetookoffourboots,pantsandshirts,shewatchingverysuspiciously--Iknewshe'dbeenskepticalofmycarryingonlyoneknife.

Oddlyperhaps,consideringhowtouchyIamaboutmybaldness,Ifeltnosensitivityaboutrevealingthelackofhaironmychestandinfactasortofprideindisplayingtheslantingradiationscarsthathavereplacedit,thoughtheyarecrawlingkeloidsoftheugliest,bumpiestsort.Iguesstomesuchscarsaretribalinsignia--one-manandone-womantribesofcourse.Noquestionbutthatthescaronthegirl'sforeheadhadbeenthefirstfocusofmydesireforheranditstilladdedtomyinterest.

Bynowweweren'tstayingasperfectlyonguardorwatchingeachother'sclothingforconcealedweaponsascarefullyasweshould--IknowIwasn't.Itwasgettingdarkfast,therewasn'tmuchtimeleft,andtheotherinterestwassimplybecomingtoogreat.

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Wewerestillautomaticallycarefulabouthowwedidthings.Forinstancethewaywetookoffourpantswaslikeballet,simultaneously



crouchingalittleontheleftfootandwhippingtherightlegoutofitssheathinonemovement,allreadytojumpwithouttrippingourselvesiftheotherpersondidanythingfunny,andthenskinningdowntheleftpants-legwithamovementalmostasswift.

ButasIsayitwasgettingtoolateforperfectwatchfulness,infactforanykindofeffectivewatchfulnessatall.Thecomplexionofthewholesituationwaschanginginarush.Thepossibilitiesofdealingorreceivingdeath--alongwiththechanceoftheminorindignityofcannibalism,whichsomeofuspractice--weresuddenlygone,allgone.Itwasgoingtobeallrightthistime,Iwastellingmyself.Thiswasthetimeitwouldbedifferent,thiswasthetimelovewouldlast,thiswasthetimelustwouldbethefirmfoundationforunderstandingandtrust,thistimetherewouldbereallysafesleeping.Thisgirl'sbodywouldbehomeforme,abeautifultenderinexhaustiblyexcitinghome,andmineforher,foralways.

Asshethrewoffhershirt,thelastdarklyredlightshowedmeanothersmoothslantwisescar,thisonearoundherhips,likeanarrowgirdlethathasslippeddownalittleononeside.

CHAPTER2

_Murdermostfoul,asinthebestitis;Butthismostfoul,strangeandunnatural._

--Hamlet

WhenIwokethelightwasalmostfullamberandIcouldfeelnofleshagainstmine,onlytheblanketunderme.Iveryslowlyrolledoverandthereshewas,sittingonthecorneroftheblanketnottwofeetfromme,combingherlongblackhairwithabig,wide-toothedcombshe'dscrewedintotheleather-and-metalcapoverherwriststump.

She'dputonherpantsandshirt,buttheformerwererolleduptoherkneesandthelatter,thoughtuckedin,wasn'tbuttoned.

Shewaslookingatme,contemplatingmeyoumightsay,quitedreamilybutwithafaint,easysmile.

Ismiledbackather.

Itwaslovely.

Toolovely.Therehadtobesomethingwrongwithit.

Therewas.Oh,nothingbig.Justasolitarytrifle--nothingworthnoticingreally.

Butthetiniestsolitarythingscansometimesbethemostirritating,like_one_mosquito.

WhenI'dfirstrolledovershe'dbeencombingherhairstraightback,revealingawedgeofbaldnessfollowingthecontinuationofherforeheadscardeepbackacrossherscalp.Nowwithamovementthatwasswiftthoughnothurried-lookingshesweptthemassofherhairforwardandto



theleft,sothatitcoveredthebaldarea.Alsoherlipsstraightenedout.

Iwashurt.Sheshouldn'thavehiddenherbitofbaldness,itwassomethingwehadincommon,somethingthatbroughtuscloser.Andsheshouldn'thavestoppedsmilingatjustthatmoment.Didn'tsherealizeIlovedthatblazeonherscalpjustasmuchasanyotherpartofher,thatshenolongerhadanyneedtopracticevanityinfrontofme?

Didn'tsherealizethatassoonasshestoppedsmiling,hercontemplativestarebecameaninsulttome?Whatrighthadshetostare,criticallyIfeltsure,atmybaldhead?Whatrighthadshetoknowaboutthenearly-healedulceronmyleftshin?--thatwasapieceofinformationworthaman'slifeinafight.Whatrighthadshetocoverup,anyways,whileIwasstillnaked?Sheoughttohavewakedmeupsothatwecouldhavegotdressedaswe'dundressed,together.Therewerelotsofthingswrongwithhermanners.

Oh,IknowthatifI'dbeenabletothinkcalmly,maybeifI'djusthadsomebreakfastoralittlecoffeeinsideme,orevenifthere'dbeensomehotbreakfasttoeatatthatmoment,I'dhaverecognizedmyirritationfortheirrational,one-mosquitosurgeofnegativefeelingthatitwas.

Evenwithoutbreakfast,ifI'djusthadtheknowledgethattherewasareasonablysecuredayaheadofmeinwhichthere'dbeanopportunityformetostraightenoutmyfeelings,Iwouldn'thavebeenirked,oratleastbeingirkedwouldn'thavebotheredmeterribly.

ButasenseofsecurityisanevenrarercommodityintheDeathlandsthanahotbreakfast.

Givenjusttheghostofasenseofsecurityand/orsomehotbreakfast,I'dhavetoldmyselfthatshewasmerelybeingamusinglycoquettishaboutherbaldstreakandherhair,thatitwasnaturalforawomantotrytopreservesomemysteryaboutherselfinfrontofthemanshebedswith.

ButyougetleeryofanykindofmysteryintheDeathlands.Itmakesyoufrightenedandangry,likeitdoesananimal.Mysteryisforculturalqueers,strictly.TheonlywayfortwopeopletogetalongtogetherintheDeathlands,evenforawhile,isnevertohideanythingandnevertomakeamovethatdoesn'thaveanimmediateclearexplanation.Youcan'ttalk,yousee,certainlynotatfirst,andsoyoucan'texplainanything(mostexplanationsarejustliesanddreams,anyway),soyouhavetobedoublycarefulandexplicitabouteverythingyoudo.

*****

Thisgirlwasn'tbeingeither.Rightnow,ontopofherother

gaucheries,shewasunscrewingthecombfromherwrist--anunfriendlyifnotquiteahostileact,asanyonemustadmit.

Understand,please,Iwasn't_showing_anyofthesenegativereactionsofmineanymorethanshewasshowinghers,exceptforherstoppingsmiling.Infact_Ihadn't_stoppedsmiling,Iwasplayingthegametothehilt.

Butinsidemeeverythingwasstewedupandtheotherurgehadcomebackandpresentlyitwouldbegintogrowagain.That'sthetrouble,you



know,withsexasasolutiontotheproblemofthetwourges.It'sfinewhileitlastsbutitwearsitselfoutandthenyou'rebackwithUrgeNumberOneandyouhavenothinglefttobalanceitwith.

Oh,Iwouldn'tkillthisgirltoday,Iprobablywouldn'tseriouslythinkofkillingherforamonthormore,butOldUrgeNumberOnewouldbethereandgrowing,mostlyundercover,allthetime.OfcoursetherewerethingsIcoulddotoslowitsgrowth,lotsoflittlegimmicks,infact--Iwasprettyexperiencedatthisbusiness.

*****

Forinstance,Icouldtakeashotattalkingtoherprettysoon.Foracatchystarter,IcouldtellheraboutNowhere,howthesefiveotherbuggersandmefoundourselvesindependentlyskulkingalongafterthisscavengingexpeditionfromPorter,howwenaturallyjoinedforcesinthatsituation,howwesetapitfallfortheiralky-poweredjeepandwreckeditandthem,howwhenourhaulturnedouttobeunexpectedlybigthefourofusleftfromthekillchummiedupandpaddeddowntogetherandamusedeachotherforawhileandplayedgames,youmightsay.Why,atonepointweevenhadanoldcrankphonographgoingandreadsomebooks.And,ofcourse,howwhenthelootgaveoutandthefunworeoff,wehadourmurderpartyandIsurvivedalongwith,Ithink,abuggernamedJerry--atanyrate,hewasgonewhenthebloodstoppedspurting,

andI'dhadnostomachfortrackinghim,thoughIprobablyshouldhave.

Andinreturnshecouldtellmehowshehadkilledoffherlastsetofgirlfriends,orboyfriends,orfriend,orwhateveritwas.

Afterthat,wecouldhaveagoatexchangingnews,rumorsandspeculationsaboutlocal,nationalandworldevents.WasittruethatAtlanticHighlandshadplanesofsomesortorweretheyfromEurope?WeretheyactuallycrucifyingtheDeathlandersaroundWallaWallaoronlynailinguptheirdeadbodiesasdirewarningstootherssuch?HadMantenomadeChristianitycompulsoryyet,orweretheystilltoleratingZenBuddhists?WasittruethatLosAlamoshadbeencompletelywipedoutbyplague,buttheareatabootoDeathlandersbecauseoftherobot

guardsthey'dleftbehind--metalguardseightfeettallwhotrampedacrossthewhitesands,wailing?DidtheystillhavefreeloveinPacificPalisades?Didsheknowthere'dbeenapitchedbattlefoughtbyexpeditionaryforcesfromOuachitaandSavannahFortress?OverthelootofBirmingham,apparently,afteryellowfeverhadfinishedoffthatprincipality.Hadsherootedoutany"observers"lately?--someofthe"civilized"communities,themore"scientific"ones,trytomaintainafewweatherstationsandthelikeintheDeathlands,camouflagingthemelaboratelyandmanningthemwithoneortwoimpudentcharacterstowhomwegiveahardtimeifweuncoverthem.HadsheheardthetalethatwasgoingaroundthatSouthAmericaandtheFrenchRivierahadsurvivedtheLastWarabsolutelyuntouched?--andtheobviouslyridiculousriderthattheyhadblueskiesthereandsawstarseverythirdnight?Didshethink

thatsubsequentconditionswereshowingthattheEarthactuallyhadplungedintoaninterstellardustcloudcoincidentallywiththestartoftheLastWar(thedustcloudusedasacoverforthefirstattacks,somesaid)ordidshestillholdwiththemajoritythatthedustwassolelyofatomicoriginwithalittlehelpfromvolcanoesanddryspells?Howmanygreensunsetshadsheseeninthelastyear?

*****

Afterwe'dchewedoverthoseracytopicsandsomemorelikethem,and



incidentallygotboredwithguessingandfabricating,wemight,ifwefeltespeciallydaringandconversationweregoingparticularlywell,eventakeachanceontalkingalittleaboutourchildhoods,abouthowthingswerebeforetheLastWar(thoughshewasalmosttooyoungforthat)--aboutthe_little_thingsweremembered--thebigthingsweremuchtoodangeroustopicstoventureonandsometimeseventhelittlememoriescouldsuddenlytwistyouupasifyou'dswallowedlye.

Butafterthattherewouldn'tbeanythinglefttotalkabout.Anythingyou'drisktalkingabout,thatis.Forinstance,nomatterhowlongwetalked,itwasveryunlikelythatwe'deitherofustelltheotheranythingcompleteorveryaccurateabouthowwelivedfromdaytoday,aboutourtechniquesofsurvivingandstayingsaneoratleastfunctional--thatwouldbetooimprudent,itwouldgotoomuchagainstthegrainofanyplayerofthemurdergame.WouldItellher,oranyone,abouthowIworkedtherusesofplayingdeadanddisguisingmyselfasawoman,aboutmytrickofpickingapathjustbeforedarkandthencirclingbacktoitbyapre-surveyedroute,aboutthechessgamesIplayedwithmyself,aboutthebottleofgreen,terriblyhot-lookingpowderIcarriedtosprinklebehindmetobluffoffpursuers?Afatchanceofmyrevealingthingslikethat!

Andwhenallthetalkwasover,whatwouldithavegainedus?Ourmindswouldbefilledwithalotofpainfulstuffbetterkept

buried--meaninglesshopes,scrapsofvicariouslivingin"cultured"communities,memoriesthatwerenothingbutmelancholygivenconcreteform.Themelancholyiseasiesttobearwhenit'sthediffusedbackgroundforeverything;andallgarbageisbestkeptinthecan.Ohyes,ourtalkingwouldhavegainedusafewmoredaysofinfatuation,ofphantomsecurity,butthosewecouldhave--almostasmanyofthem,atanyrate--withouttalking.

ForinstancethingsweresmoothingoveralreadybetweenherandmeagainandInolongerfeltquitesoirked.She'dreplacedthecombwithaninoffensive-lookingpairoflightpliersandwasdoingupherhairwiththemetalshavings.AndIwasactingasifcontenttowatchher,asinawayIwas.I'dstillmadenomovetogetdressed.

Shelookedrealsweet,youknow,primpingherselfthatway.Herfacewasalittleflat,butitwasyoung,andthescargaveitjustthefillipitneeded.

Butwhatwasgoingonbehindthatforeheadrightnow,Iaskedmyself?Ifeltrealpsychicthismorning,mymindasclearasabottleofWhiteRockyoufindmiraculouslyunbrokeninablastedtavern,andtheanswerstothequestionI'daskedmyselfcameeffortlessly.

*****

Shewastellingherselfshe'dgotherselfamanagain,amanwhowas

adequateintheprimalclutch(Igavemyselfthatpatontheback),andthatshewouldn'thavetobeplaguedandhavehersafetyendangeredby _that_kindofmind-dullingrestlessnessandyearningforawhile.

Shewaslightlyplayingaroundwithideasabouthowshe'dfoundahomeandaprotector,knowingshewaskiddingherself,thatitwasthemostgimcrackyfemininemake-believe,butenjoyingitjustthesame.

Shewassizingmeup,decidingindetailjustwhatIwentforinawoman,whatwhettedmyinterest,soshecouldkeepthatrousedaslong



asseemeddesirableorprudenttohertocontinueourrelation.

Shewaskickingherself,onlylightlytobeginwith,becauseshehadn'ttakenanyprecautions--becausewewho'veescapedhotdeathagainstallreasonableexpectationsbyvirtueofsomeincalculableresistancetotheillsofradioactivity,quiteoftenfindwe'veescapedsterilitytoo.Ifsheshouldbecomepregnant,shewastellingherself,thenshehadarealstickybusinessaheadofherwherenomancouldbetrustedforasecond.

AndbecauseshewasthinkingofthisandbecauseshewasobviouslyarealisticDeathlander,shewasremindingherselfthatawomanisbasicallylessimpulsiveanddaringandresourcefulthanamanandsohadalwaysbetterbesureshegetsinthefirstblow.ShewouldbethinkingthatIwasarealistmyselfandasmartman,oneabletounderstandherpredicamentquiteclearly--andbecauseofthatamuchsoonerdangertoher.ShewasfeelingOldNumberOneUrgestartingtogrowinheragainandwonderingwhetheritmightn'tbewisesttogiveitthehot-housetreatment.

Thatisthetroublewithaclearmind.Foralittlewhileyouseethingsastheyreallyareandyoucanaccuratelypredicthowthey'regoingtoshapethefuture...andthensuddenlyyourealizeyou'vepredictedyourselfaweekoramonthintothefutureandyoucan'tlivetheinterveningtimeanymorebecauseyou'vealreadyimagineditindetail.

Peoplewholiveincommunities,eventheculturalqueersofourmaimedera,aren'tmuchbotheredbyit--theremustbesomesortofblinkerstheyhandyououtalongwiththekeytothecity--butintheDeathlandsit'safairlycommonphenomenonandthere'snohidingfromit.

*****

Meandmyclearmind!--onceagainithaddonemeoutofdaysoffun,changedathoroughly-exploredloveaffairintoaonenightstand.Oh,therewasnoquestionaboutit,thisgirlandIwerefinished,rightthisminute,asofnow,becauseshewasjustaspsychicasIwasthismorningandhadsensedeverylastthingthatI'dbeenthinking.

WithamovementsmoothenoughnottolookrushedIswungintoacrouch.Shewasonherkneesfasterthanthat,herlefthandhoveringoverthelittlesetoftoolsforherstump,whichlikeanygoodmechanicshe'dlinedupneatlyontheedgeoftheblanket--thehook,thecomb,alongtelescopingfork,acoupleofotheritems,andtheknife.I'dgrabbedahandfulofblanket,readytojerkitfromunderher.She'dseenthatI'dgrabbedit.Ourgazesdueled.

Therewasahigh-pitchedwhineoverourheads!Quiteloudfromthestart,thoughitsoundedasifitwereverydeepupinthehaze.Itswiftlydroppedinpitchandvolume.

Thetopoftheskeletalcrackingplantacrossthefreewayglowedwith

St.Elmo'sfire!Threetimesitglowedthatway,sobrightwecouldseetheviolet-blueflamesofitreachingupdespitethefullamberdaylight.

Thewhinediedawaybutinthelastmoment,paradoxically,itseemedtobecomingcloser!

Thissharedthreat--foranyunexpectedeventisathreatintheDeathlandsandamysteriouseventdoublyso--putastoptoourmurdergame.ThegirlandIwerebuddiesagain,buddiestobereliedonina



pinch,forthedurationofthethreatatleast.Noneedtosaysoortoreassureeachotherofthefactinanyway,itwastakenforgranted.Besides,therewasnotime.Wehadtouseeverysecondallowedusingettingreadyforwhateverwascoming.

FirstIgrabbedupMother.ThenIrelievedmyself--fearmadeiteasy.ThenIskinnedintomypantsandboots,slappedinmyteeth,thrusttheblanketandknapsackintotheshallowcaveundertheedgeofthefreeway,lookingaroundmeallthetimesoasnottobesurprisedfromanyquarter.

Meanwhilethegirlhadputonherboots,locatedherdartgun,unscrewedthepliersfromherstump,puttheknifein,andwasarrangingherscarfsoitmadeaslingforthemaimedarm--Iwonderedwhybuthadnotimetowasteguessing,evenifI'dwantedto,foratthatmomentasmalldullsilverplane,beetle-shapedmorethananythingelse,loomedoutofthehazebeyondthecrackingplantandcamesilentlydriftingdowntowardus.

Thegirlthrusthersatchelintothecaveandalongwithitherdartgun.IcaughtherideaandtuckedMotherintomypantsbehindmyback.

I'dthoughtfromthefirstglimpseofitthattheplanewasdisabled--Iguessitwasitssilencethatgavemetheidea.Thistheorywas

confirmedwhenoneofitsverystubbywingsorvanestouchedacornerpillarofthecrackingplant.Theplanewasmovingintooslowaglidetobewrecked,infactitwasmovinginaslowerglidethanIwouldhavebelievedpossible--butthenit'smanyyearssinceIhaveseenaplaneinflight.

Itwasn'twreckedbutthelittlecollisionspunitaroundtwiceinalazycircleanditlandedonthefreewaywithascuffingnoisenotfiftyfeetfromus.Youcouldn'texactlysayithadcrashedin,butitstayedatanoddtilt.Itlookedcrippledallright.

Anovaldoorintheplaneopenedandamandroppedlightlyoutontheconcrete.Andwhataman!Hewasnearersevenfeettallthansix,

close-croppedblondhair,faceandhandsrichlytanned,therestofhimcoveredbytrimgarmentsofagleaminggray.Hemusthaveweighedasmuchasthetwoofustogether,buthewasbeautifullybuilt,muscularyetsupple-seeming.Hisfacelookedbrightlyintelligentandeven-temperedandkind.

Yes,kind!--damnhim!Itwasn'tenoughthathisbodyshouldfairlyglowwithahealthandvitalitythatwasaninsulttooursearedskinsandstringymusclesandulcersandhalf-rottedstomachsandhalf-arrestedcancers,hehadtolookkindtoo--thesortofmanwhowouldputyoutobedandtakecareofyou,asifyouweresomesortofinterestingsickfox,andmaybeevensayalittleprayerforyou,andallmannerofotherabominations.

*****

Idon'tthinkIcouldhaveenduredmyfurystandingstill.Fortunatelytherewasnoneedto.Asifwe'drehearsedthewholethingforhours,thegirlandIscrambledupontothefreewayandscurriedtowardthemanfromtheplane,cunninglyswingingawayfromeachothersothatitwouldbeharderforhimtowatchthetwoofusatonce,butnotenoughtomakeitobviousthatweattendedanattackfromtwoquarters.



Wedidn'trunthoughwecoveredthegroundasfastaswedared--runningwouldhavebeentoomuchofagive-awaytoo,andthePilot,whichwashowInamedhimtomyself,hadastrange-lookingsmallguninhisrighthand.Infactthewaywemovedwaspartofouract--Idraggedonelegasifitwerecrippledandthegirlfakedanothersortoflimp,onethatmadeherapproachaseriesofhalfcurtsies.Herarmintheslingwasalltwisted,butatthesametimeshewasaccidentlyshowingherbreasts--Irememberthinking_youwon'tdistractthisbreedbullthatway,sister,heprobablyhasaharemofsix-footheifers_.Ihadmyheadthrownbackandmyhandsstretchedoutsupplicatingly.Meanwhilethebothofuswerebabblingabluestreak.Iwasrapidlycroakingsomethinglike,"MisterforGod'ssakesavemypalhe'shurtalotworse'nIamnotahundredyardsawayhe'sdyin'misterhe'sdyin'o'thirsthistongue'sblack'nallswoleupohsavehimmistersavemypalhe'snotahundredyardsawayhe'sdyin'misterdyin'--"andshewassingsonginganevenworserigamaroleabouthow"they"wereafterusfromPorterandgoingtocrucifyusbecausewebelievedinscienceandhowthey'dalreadyimpaledhermotherandherten-year-oldsisterandalotmoreofthesame.

Itdidn'tmatterthatourstoriesdidn'tfitormakesense,thebabblehadaconvincingtoneandgettingusclosertothisguy,whichwasallthatcounted.HepointedhisgunatmeandthenIcouldseehimhesitateandIthoughtexultingly_it'salotofhealthymeatyougotthere,

mister,butit'stamemeat,mister,tame!_

Hecompromisedbytakingastepbackandsortofhootingatusandwavingusoffwithhislefthand,asifwewereacoupleofstraydogs.

Itwasgreatlytoouradvantagethatwe'dactedwithouthesitation,andIdon'tthinkwe'dhavebeenabletodothatexceptthatwe'dbeenallsettokilleachotherwhenhedroppedin.Ourmusclesandnervesandmindswerekeyedforinstantruthlessattack.Andsome"civilized"peoplestillsaythattheurgetomurderdoesn'tcontributetoself-preservation!

*****

WewerealmostcloseenoughnowandhewassteelinghimselftoshootandIrememberwonderingforasplitsecondwhathisdamngundidtoyou,andthenmeandthegirlhadstartedthealternationroutine.I'dstopdead,asifcompletelycowedbythethreatofhisweapon,andashetooknoteofitshe'dgoinalittlefurther,andashisgazeshiftedtohershe'dstopdeadandI'dgoinanotherfootandthentrytomakemyhaltevenmoreconvincingashisgazedartedbacktome.Weworkeditperfectly,ourrhythmwasbeautiful,asifwewereolddancingpartners,thoughthewholethingwasabsolutelyimpromptu.

Still,Ihonestlydon'tthinkwe'deverhavegottohimifithadn'tbeenforthedistractionthatcamejustthentohelpus.Icouldtell,

yousee,thathe'dfinallysteeledhimselfandwestillweren'tquitecloseenough.Hewasn'tastameasI'dhoped.IreachedbehindmeforMother,determinedtodoalast-minuterushandleapanyway,whentherecamethissickscream.

Idon'tknowhowelsetodescribeitbriefly.Itwasascream,feminineforchoice,itcamefromsomedistanceandthedirectionoftheoldcrackingplant,ithadanoteofanguishandwarning,yetatthesametimeitwasweakandalmostfalteringyoumightsayandsqueakyattheend,asifitcamefromapersonhalfdeadandathroatchokedwith



phlegm.Ithadallthosequalitiesorawonderfulmimickingofthem.

Andithadquiteaneffectonourboyingrayforintheactofshootingmedownhestartedtoturnandlookoverhisshoulder.

Oh,itdidn'taltogetherstophimfromshootingme.HegotmepartlycoveredagainasIwasinthemiddleofmylunge.Ifoundoutwhathisgundidtoyou.Myrightarm,whichwastheparthe'dcovered,justwentdeadandIfinishedmylungeslammingupagainsthisironknees,likeahighschoolkidtryingtoblockoutaprofootballer,withtheknifeslippinguselesslyawayfrommyfingers.

Butintheblessedmeanwhilethegirlhadlungedtoo,notwithaslowslash,thankGod,butwithahigh,slicingthrustaimedarrow-straightforapointjustunderhisear.

Sheconnectedandafanofbloodsprayedherfullintheface.

Igrabbedmyknifewithmylefthandasitfell,scrambledtomyfeet,anddrovetheknifeathisthroatinaround-houseswingthathappenedtocomehandiestatthetime.ThepointwentthroughhisfleshlikenothingandjarredagainsthisspinewithaviolencethatIhopedwouldshockintonervousinsensibilitythestoutestmedullaoblongataandpreventanydyingreprisalsonhispart.

Igotmywish,inlargepart.Heswayed,straightened,droppedhisgun,andfellflatonhisback,givinghisskullamurderouscrackontheconcreteforgoodmeasure.Helaythereandafterahalfdozengushesthebrightbloodquitpumpingstronglyoutofhisneck.

Thencamethepartthatwaslikeadyingreprisal,thoughobviouslynotbeingdirectedbyhimasofnow.Andcometothinkofit,itmayhavehaditsgoodpoints.

*****

Thegirl,whowasclearlyamostcool-headedcuss,snatchedforhisgun

wherehe'ddroppedit,tomakesureshegotitaheadofme.Shesnatched,yes--andthenjerkedback,lettingoffasizablesquealofpain,anger,andsurprise.

Wherewe'dseenhisgunhittheconcretetherewasnowatinyincandescentpuddle.Arillofbloodsnakedoutfromthepoolaroundhisheadandtouchedthewhitelyglowingpuddleandajetofsteamsizzledup.

Somehowthegunhadmanagedtomeltitselfinthemomentofitsownerdying.Well,atanyratethatshowedithadn'tcontainedanygunpowderorordinarychemicalexplosives,thoughIalreadyknewitoperatedonotherprinciplesfromthewayithadbeenusedtoparalyzeme.Moreto

thepoint,itshowedthatthegun'sownerwasthememberofaculturethatbelievedintakingverycompleteprecautionsagainstitsgadgetsfallingintothehandsofstrangers.

Butthegunfusingwasn'tquiteall.Asthegirlandmeshiftedourgazefromthepuddle,whichwascoolingfastandnowglowedredliketheblood--asweshiftedourgazebackfromthepuddletothedeadman,wesawthatatthreepoints(pointsoverwhereyou'dexpectpocketstobe)hisgrayclothinghadcharredinsmallirregularlyshapedpatchesfromwhichthreadsofblacksmokeweretwistingupward.



Justatthatmoment,socloseastomakemejumpinspiteofyearsoflearningtoabsorbshocksstoically--rightatmyelbowitseemedto(thegirljumpedtoo,Imaysay)--avoicesaid,"Doneamurder,hey?"

Advancingbrisklyaroundtheskewilygroundedplanefromthedirectionofthecrackingplantwasanoldgeezer,aseasoned,hard-bakedDeathlanderifIeversawone.Hehadashockofbone-whitehair,therestofhimthatshowedfromhisweatheredgrayclothinglookedfriedbythesun'sraysandotherstoastringycrisp,andstrappedtohisbootsandweighingdownhisbeltwereagooddozenknives.

Notsatisfiedwiththeunnervingnoisehe'dmadealready,hewentonbrightly,"Neatjobtoo,Igiveyoucreditforthat,butwhythehelldidyouhavetosettheguyafire?"

CHAPTER3

_Wearealways,thankstoourhumannature,potentialcriminals.Noneofusstandsoutsidehumanity'sblackcollectiveshadow._

--TheUndiscoveredSelf,_byCarlJung_

Ordinarilyscroungerswhohidearoundontheoutskirtsuntilthekilling'sdoneandthencomeintosharethelootgetwhattheydeserve--wordlessorders,wellbackedup,tobeontheirwayatonce.Sometimestheyevencatchanafter-clapofthemurderurge,ifithasn'tallbeenexpendedonthefirstvictimorvictims.Yetthey_will_doit,trustingIsupposetotheirresistibleglamoroftheirpersonalities.Therewereseveralreasonswhywedidn'tatoncegivePopthistreatment.

Inthefirstplacewedidn'tneitherofushaveourdistanceweapons.Myrevolverandherdartgunwerebothtuckedinthecavebackattheedgeofthefreeway.Andthere'sonebadthingaboutabuggersoknife-happyhelugsthemaroundbythecarload--he'sgenerallygoodattossingthem.WithhisdozenorsoknivesPopdefinitelyoutgunnedus.

Second,wewerebothofuswithouttheuseofanarm.That'sright,thebothofus.MyrightarmstilldangledlikeastringofsausagesandIcouldn'tyetfeelanysignsofitcomingundead.Whileshe'dburnedherfingersbadlygrabbingatthegun--Icouldseetheirred-splotchedtipsnowasshepulledthemoutofhermouthforasecondtowipethePilot'sbloodoutofhereyes.Allshehadwasherstumpwiththeknifescrewedtoit.Me,Icanthrowaknifeleft-handedifIhaveto,butyoubetI

wasn'tgoingtoriskMotherthatway.

ThenI'dnosoonerheardPop'svoice,breathyandalittlehighlikeanoldman'swillget,thanitoccurredtomethathemusthavebeentheonewhohadgiventhefunnyscreamthathaddistractedthePilot'sattentionandletusgethim.WhichincidentallymadePopaquickthinkerandimaginativetoboot,andmeantthathe'dhelpedonthekilling.

*****



Besidesallthat,Popdidnotcomeinfawningandfullofextravagantpraise,asmostscroungerswill.Hejustassumedequalitywithusrightfromthestartandhetalkedinanabsolutelymatter-of-factway,neitherpraisingnorcriticizingonebit--toodamnmatter-of-factandopen,forthatmatter,tosuitmytaste,butthenIhaveheardotherbuggerssaythatsomeoldmenareapttogettalkative,thoughIhadneverworkedwithorrunintoonemyself.OldpeopleareveryrareintheDeathlands,asyoumightimagine.

Sothegirlandmejustscowledathimbutdidnothingtostophimashecamealong.Nearus,hisextrakniveswouldbenoadvantagetohim.

"Hum,"hesaid,"looksalotlikeaguyImurderedfiveyearsbackdownLosAlamosway.Samesilvermonkeysuitandalmostastall.Nicechaptoo--wastryingtogivemesomethingforafeverI'dfaked.Thathisgunmelted?Mymandidn'tsmokeafterIgavehimhisquietus,butthenitturnedouthedidn'thaveanymetalonhim.Iwonderifthischap--"Hestartedtokneeldownbythebody.

"Handsoff,Pop!"Igrittedathim.ThatwashowwestartedcallinghimPop.

"Whysure,sure,"hesaid,stayingthereononeknee."Iwon'tlaya

fingeronhim.It'sjustthatI'veheardtheAlamosershaveitriggedsothatanymetalthey'recarryingmeltswhentheydie,andIwaswonderingaboutthisboy.Buthe'sallyours,friend.Bytheway,what'syourname,friend?"

"Ray,"Isnarled."RayBaker."IthinkthemainreasonItoldhimwasthatIdidn'twanthimcallingme"friend"again."Youtalktoomuch,Pop."

"IsupposeIdo,Ray,"heagreed."What'syourname,lady?"

Thegirljustsortofhissedathimandhegrinnedatmeasiftosay,"Oh,women!"Thenhesaid,"Whydon'tyougothroughhispockets,Ray?

I'mrealcurious."

"Shutup,"Isaid,butIfeltthathe'dputmeonthespotjustthesame.Iwascuriousabouttheguy'spocketsmyself,ofcourse,butIwasalsowonderingifPopwasaloneorifhehadsomebodywithhim,andwhethertherewasanybodyelseintheplaneornot--thingslikethat,toomanythings.AtthesametimeIdidn'twanttoletontoPophowuselessmyrightarmwas--ifI'djustgetatwingeoffeelinginthatarm,IknewI'dfeelalotmoreconfidentfast.Ikneltdownacrossthebodyfromhim,startedtolayMotherasideandthenhesitated.

*****

Thegirlgavemeanencouraginglook,asiftosay,"I'lltakecareoftheoldgeezer."OnthestrengthofherlookIputdownMotherandstartedtopryopenthePilot'slefthand,whichwasclenchedinafistthatlookedamitetoobigtohavenothinginsideit.

ThegirlstartedtoedgebehindPop,buthecaughtthemovementrightawayandlookedatherwithagrinthatwassoknowingandyetsofriendly,andyetsopityingatthesametime--withthepityoftheoldproforeventheseasonedamateur--thatinherplaceIthinkI'dhaveblushedmyself,asshedidnow...throughthestreaksofthePilot's



blood.

"Youdon'thavetoworrynoneaboutme,lady,"hesaid,runningahandthroughhiswhitehairandincidentallytouchingthepommelofoneofthetwoknivesstrappedhighonthebackofhisjacketsohecouldreachoneovereithershoulder."Iquitmurderingsomeyearsback.Itgottobetoomuchofastrainonmynerves."

"Ohyeah?"Icouldn'thelpsayingasIpriedupthePilot'sindexfingerandstartedonthenext."Thenwhythestab-factory,Pop?"

"Ohyoumeanthose,"hesaid,glancingdownathisknives."Well,thefactis,Ray,Icarrythemtoimpressbuggersdumberthanyouandtheladyhere.AnybodywantstothinkI'mstillapracticingmurdererIgotnoobjections.Matterofsentiment,too,Ijusthatetopartwiththem--theybringbackimportantmemories.Andthen--youwon'tbelievethis,Ray,butI'mgoingtotellyoujustthesame--guysjustupandgivemetheirknivesandIdoublyhatetopartwithagift."

Iwasn'tgoingtosay"Ohyeah?"againor"Shutup!"either,thoughIcertainlywishedIcouldturnoffPop'sspigot,orthoughtIdid.ThenIfeltapainfultinglingshootdownmyrightarm.IsmiledatPopandsaid,"Anyotherreasons?"

"Yep,"hesaid."GottoshaveandImightaswelldoitinstyle.Anewbladeeverydayinthefortnightistwiceasgoodastheoldads.Youknow,itmakesyoukeepaknifeinfineshapeifyoushavewithit.Whatyougotthere,Ray?"

"Youwerewrong,Pop,"Isaid."Hedidhavesomemetalonhimthatdidn'tmelt."

IheldupforthemtoseetheobjectI'dextractedfromhisleftfist:abrightsteelcubemeasuringaboutaninchacrosseachside,butitfeltlighterthanifitweresolidmetal.Fiveofthefaceslookedabsolutelybare.Thesixthhadaroundbuttonrecessedinit.

FromthewaytheylookedatitneitherPopnorthegirlhadthefaintestideaofwhatitwas.Icertainlyhadn't.

"Hadhepushedthebutton?"thegirlasked.Hervoicewasthroatybutunexpectedlyrefined,asifshe'ddonenotalkingatall,noteventoherself,sincecomingtotheDeathlandsandsoretainedtheculturedintonationsshe'dhadearlier,wheneverandwhereverthathadbeen.Itgavemeafunnyfeeling,ofcourse,becausetheywerethefirstwordsI'dheardherspeak.

"Notfromthewayhewasholdingit,"Itoldher."Thebuttonwaspointeduptowardhisthumbbutthethumbwasontheoutsideofhisfingers."Ifeltanunexpectedsatisfactionathavingexpressedmyself

soclearlyandItoldmyselfnottogetchildish.

Thegirlslittedhereyes."Don'tyoupushit,Ray,"shesaid.

"ThinkI'mnuts?"Itoldher,meanwhileslidingthecubeintothesmallerpocketofmypants,whereitfittightandwouldn'tturnsidewaysandthebuttonmaybegetpressedbyaccident.Thetinglinginmyrightarmwasalmostunbearablenow,butIwasgettingcontroloverthemusclesagain.



"Pushingthatbutton,"Iadded,"mightmeltwhat'sleftoftheplane,orblowusallup."Itneverhurtstoemphasizethatyoumayhaveanotherweaponinyourpossession,evenifit'sjustasuicidebomb.

"Therewasamanpushedanotherbuttononce,"Popsaidsoftlyandreflectively.HisgazewentfaroutovertheDeathlandsandtookinagoodhalfofthehorizonandheslowlyshookhishead.Thenhisfacebrightened."Didyouknow,Ray,"hesaid,"thatIactuallymetthatman?Longafterwards.Youdon'tbelieveme,Iknow,butIactuallydid.Tellyouaboutitsomeothertime."

Ialmostsaid,"Thanks,Pop,forsparingmeatleastforawhile,"butIwasafraidthatwouldsethimoffagain.Besides,itwouldn'thavebeenquitetrue.I'veheardotherbuggerstelltheyarnofhowtheymet(andinvariablyrubbedout)theactualguywhopushedthebuttonorbuttonsthatsetthefusionmissilesblastingtowardtheirtargets,butIfeltasuddencuriosityastowhatPop'sversionoftheyarnwouldbe.Ohwell,Icouldaskhimsomeothertime,ifwebothlivedthatlong.IstartedtocheckthePilot'spockets.Myrighthandcouldhelpalittlenow.

*****

"Thoselooklikemeanburnsyougotthere,lady,"IheardPoptellthegirl.Hewasright.Therewereblisterseasytoseeonthreeofthe

fingertips."I'vegotsomesalvethat'sprettygood,"hewenton,"andsomecleancloth.Icouldputonabandageforyouifyouwanted.IfyourhandstartedtofeelpoisonedyoucouldalwaystellRayheretoslipaknifeinme."

Popwasacutegasser,youhadtoadmit.IremindedmyselfthatitwasPop'sbusinesstoplayuptothebothofus,charmbeingthesecretweaponofallscroungers.

Thegirlgaveaharshlittlelaugh."Verywell,"shesaid,"butwewillusemysalve,Iknowitworksforme."AndshestartedtoleadPoptowherewe'dhiddenourthings.

"I'llgowithyou,"Itoldthem,standingup.

Itdidn'tlooklikeweweregoingtohaveanymoremurderstoday--Pophadgotthroughthepreliminaryingratiationsprettywellandthegirlandmehadhadourcatharsis--butthatwouldbenoexcuseforanysuchstupidityaslettingthetwoofthemgetnearmy.38.

StrollingtothecaveandbackIeasedthesituationabitmorebysaying,"Thatscreamyouletoff,Pop,reallyhelped.Idon'tknowwhatgaveyoutheidea,butthanks."

"Ohthat,"hesaid."Forgetaboutit."

"Iwon't,"Itoldhim."Youmaysayyou'vequitkilling,buthelpedonado-intoday."

"Ray,"hesaidalittlesolemnly,"ifit'llmakeyoufeelanyhappier,I'lltakeabitoftheresponsibilityforeverymurderthat'sbeendonesincethebeginningoftime."

Ilookedathimforawhile.Then,"Pop,you'renotbyanychancethereligioustype?"Iaskedsuddenly.



"Lord,no,"hetoldus.

Thatstruckmeasasatisfactoryanswer.Godpreservemefromthereligioustype!WehavequiteafewofthoseintheDeathlands.Itgenerallymeansthattheytrytoconvertyoutosomethingbeforetheykillyou.Orsometimesafterwards.

Wecompletedourerrands.IfeltalotmoresecurewithOldFinancier'sFriendstrappedtomymiddle.Motheriswonderfulbutsheisnotenough.

IdawdledoverinspectingthePilot'spockets,partlytogivemyrighthandtimetocomebackalltheway.AndtotellthetruthIdidn'tmuchenjoythejob--acorpse,especiallysuchahandsomecadaverasthis,justdidn'tgowithPop'sbrandoflightpatter.

*****

Popdidupthegirl'shandinhighstyle,bandagingeachfingerseparatelyandthenpersuadinghertoputonabigleft-handworkglovehetookoutofhissmallpack.

"Losttheright,"heexplained,"whichwastheonlyoneIeverusedanyway.NeverknewuntilnowwhyIkeptthis.Howdoesitfeel,Alice?"

Imighthaveknownhe'dwormhernameoutofher.ItoccurredtomethatPop'sideasofscroungingmightextendtoAlice'sfavors.Theurgedoesn'tdieoutwhenyougetold,theytellme.Notcompletely.

He'dalsohelpedherreplacetheknifeonherstumpwiththehook.

BythattimeI'dpokedintoallthePilot'spocketsIcouldgetatwithoutstrippinghimandfoundnothingbutthreeirregularlyshapedblobsofmetal,stillhottothetouch.Underthecharredspots,ofcourse.

Ididn'twantthejobofstrippinghim.Somebodyelsecoulddoalittlework,Itoldmyself.I'vebeenbotheredbybodiesbefore(aswhohasn't,

Isuppose?)butthisonewasreallybeginningtomakemesick.MaybeIwascrackingup,itoccurredtome.Murderisaverywearingbusiness,asallDeathlandersknow,andalthoughsomecrackearlierthanothers,allcrackintheend.

ImusthavebeenshowinghowIwasfeelingbecause,"Cheerup,Ray,"Popsaid."YouandAlicehavedoneabigmurder--I'dsaythesubjectwassixfootten--soyououghttobehappy.You'vedrawnablankonhispocketsbutthere'sstilltheplane."

"Yeah,that'sright,"Isaid,brighteningalittle."There'sstillthestuffintheplane."IknewthereweresomeitemsIcouldn'thopefor,like.38shells,butthere'dbefoodandotherthings.

"Nuh-uh,"Popcorrectedme."Isaid_theplane_.Youmayhavethoughtit'swrecked,butIdon't.Haveyoutakenarealganderatit?It'sworthdoing,believeme."

Ijumpedup.Myheartwassuddenlypounding.Iwasgladofanexcusetogetawayfromthebody,buttherewasalotmoreinmyfeelingsthanthat.IwasfilledwithanexcitementtowhichIdidn'twanttogiveanamebecauseitwouldmakethelet-downtoogreat.



Oneofthewidestubbywingsoftheplane,rakingdownwardsothatitstipalmosttouchedtheconcrete,hadhiddentheundercarriageofthefuselagefromourview.Now,comingaroundthewing,Isawthat_therewasnoundercarriage_.

IhadtodroptomyhandsandkneesandscanaroundwithmycheeknexttotheconcretebeforeI'dbelieveit._The"wrecked"planewasatallpointsatleastsixinchesofftheground._

*****

Igottomyfeetagain.Iwasshaking.IwantedtotalkbutIcouldn't.Igrabbedtheleadingedgeofthewingtostopfromfalling.Thewholebodyoftheplanegaveafractionofaninchandthenresistedmyleaningweightwithlazypower,justlikeagyroscope.

"Antigravity,"Icroaked,thoughyoucouldn'thaveheardmetwofeet.Thenmyvoicecameback."Pop,Alice!Theygotantigravity!Antigravity--andit'sworking!"

Alicehadjustcomearoundthewingandwasfacingme.ShewasshakingtooandherfacewaswhitelikeIknewminewas.Popwaspolitelystandingoffalittletooneside,watchinguscuriously."Toldyouyou'dwonarealprize,"hesaidinhismatter-of-factway.

Alicewetherlips."Ray,"shesaid,"wecangetaway."

Justthosefourwords,buttheydidit.Somethinginmeunlocked--no,explodeddescribesitbetter.

"Wecangoplaces!"Ialmostshouted.

"Beyondthedust,"shesaid."MexicoCity.SouthAmerica!"ShewasforgettingtheDeathlander'scynicalarticleofbeliefthatthedustneverends,butthensowasI.Itmakesadifferencewhetherornotyou'vegotameansofdoingsomething.

"Rio!"Itoppedherwith."TheIndies.HongKong.Bombay.Egypt.Bermuda.TheFrenchRiviera!"

"Bullfightsandcleanbeds,"sheburstoutwith."Restaurants.Swimmingpools.Bathrooms!"

"Skindiving,"Itookitupwith,ashystericalasshewas."Roadracesandroulettetables."

"BentleysandPorsches!"

"AircoupsandDC4sandComets!"

"Martinisandhashishandicecreamsodas!"

"Hotfood!Freshcoffee!Gambling,smoking,dancing,music,drinks!"Iwasgoingtoadd_women_,butthenIthoughtofhowhard-bittenlittleAlicewouldlookbesidethedreamcreaturesIhadinmind.ItactfullysuppressedthewordbutIfiledtheideaaway.

Idon'tthinkeitherofusknewexactlywhatweweresaying.AliceinparticularIdon'tbelievewasoldenoughtohaveexperiencedalmostanyofthethingsthewordsreferredto.Theyweremysterioussymbolsof



long-interdicteddelightsspewingoutofus.

"Ray,"Alicesaid,hurryingtome,"let'sgetaboard."

"Yes,"IsaideagerlyandthenIsawalittleproblem.Thedoortotheplanewasacoupleoffeetaboveourheads.Whoeverhoistedhimselfupfirst--orgothoistedup,aswouldhavetobethecasewithAliceonaccountofherhand--wouldbemomentarilyattheother'smercy.IguessitoccurredtoAlicetoobecauseshestoppedandlookedatme.Itwasalittleliketheoldteaseraboutthefox,thegoose,andthecorn.

Maybe,too,wewerebothalittlescaredtheplanewasbooby-trapped.

*****

PopsolvedtheprobleminthedirectwayImighthaveexpectedofhimbysteppingquietlybetweenus,givingalightleap,catchingholdofthecurvingsill,chinninghimselfonit,andscramblingupintotheplanesoquicklythatwe'dhardlyhavehadtimetodoanythingaboutitifwe'dwantedto.Popcouldn'tbemuchmorethanabantamweight,evenwithallhisknives.Theplanesaggedaninchandthenswungupagain.

AsPopdisappearedfromviewIbackedoff,reachingformy.38,butamomentlaterhestuckouthisheadandgrinneddownatus,restinghis

elbowsonthesill.

"Comeonup,"hesaid."It'squiteaplace.Ipromisenottopushanybuttons'tilyougethere,thoughthere'swholeregimentsofthem."

IgrinnedbackatPopandgaveAliceaboostup.Shedidn'tlikeit,butshecouldseeithadtobehernext.ShehookedontothesillandPopcaughtholdofherleftwristbelowthebiggloveandheaved.

Thenitwasmyturn.Ididn'tlikeit.Ididn'tliketheideaofthosetwobuggerspoisedabovemewhilemyhandswerehelplessonthesill.ButIthought_Pop'sanut.Youcantrustanut,atleastalittleways,thoughyoucan'ttrustnobodyelse._Iheavedmyselfup.Itwasstrange

tofeeltheplanegivingandthenbracingitselflikesomethingalive.Itseemedtohavenotroubleacceptingourcombinedweight,whichafterallwashardlymorethanhalfagainthePilot's.

*****

InsidethecabinwasprettysmallbutasPophadimplied,ohmy!Everythinglookedsoftandsmoothlycurved,likeyouimagineyourinsidesbeing,andalmosteverythingwasarestfullydullsilver.Thegeneralshapeofitwassomethingliketheinsideofanegg.Forward,whichwasthelargerend,wereacoupleofscreensandawideviewportandsomesmalldialsandthebuttonbrigadesPophadmentioned,lineduplikeblanktypewriterkeysbutenoughforwritingChinese.

Justaftoftheinstrumentpanelweretwoverycomfortable-lookingstrangelowseats.TheyseemedtobefacingbackwardsuntilIrealizedtheyweremeanttobekneltinto.Theoccupant,Icouldsee,wouldsortofsprawlforward,hishandsfreeforbutton-pushingandsuch.Therewerespongychinrests.

Aftwasatinyinstrumentpanelandakindofsidewaysseat,notnearlysofancy.Thedoorbywhichwe'denteredwastotheside,alittleaft.



Ididn'tseeanyindicationsofcabinetsorfixedstoragespacesofanykinds,butsomehowstucktothewallshereandtherewerequiteafewsmoothblobbypackages,mostlydullsilvertoo,somelarge,somesmall--valisesandhandbags,youmightsay.

Allinall,itwasalovelycabinand,morethanthat,itseemedlivedin.Itlookedasifithadbeenshapedfor,andmaybebyoneman.Ithadapersonalityyoucouldfeel,astrongbutwarmpersonalityofitsown.

ThenIrealizedwhosepersonalityitwas.Ialmostgotsick--soclosetoitIstartedtellingmyselfitmustbesomethingantigravitydidtoyourstomach.

Butitwasalltoointerestingtoletyougetsickrightaway.Popwaspokingintotwoofthelargemound-shapedcasesthatweresittinglooseandopenontheright-handseat,asifreadyforemergencyuse.Onehadafoldedsomethingwithstrapsonitthatwasprobablyaparachute.ThesecondhadIjudgedathousandormoreoftheinchcubessuchasI'dpriedoutofthePilot'shand,allneatlystackedinacubicalboxinsidethesoftouterbag.Youcouldseetheone-cubegapwherehe'dtakentheone.

Idecidedtotaketherestofthebagsoffthewallsandopenthem,ifIcouldfigureouthow.Theothershadthesameidea,butAlicehadto

takeoffherhookandputonherpliers,beforeshecouldmakeprogress.Pophelpedher.Therewasroomenoughforustodothesethingswithoutcrowdingeachothertooclosely.

BythetimeAlicewassettogoI'ddiscoveredthetrickofgettingthebagsoff.Youcouldn'tpullthemawayfromthewallnomatterwhatforceyouused,atleastIcouldn't,andyoucouldn'tevenslidethemstraightalongthewalls,butifyoujustgavethemagentlecounterclockwisetwisttheycameofflikenothing.Twistingthemclockwisegluedthembackon.Itwasverystrange,butItoldmyselfthatiftheseboyscouldgenerateantigravityfieldstheycouldcreatescrewyfieldsofothersorts.

Italsooccurredtometowonderif"theseboys"camefromEarth.ThePilothadlookedhumanenough,buttheseaccomplishmentsdidn't--notbymystandardsforhumanachievementintheAgeoftheDeaders.AtanyrateIhadtoadmittomyselfthatmypetterm"culturalqueer"didnotdescribetomyownsatisfactionmembersofaculturewhichcouldcreatethingslikethiscabin.NotthatIlikedmakingtheadmission.It'shardtoadmitanexceptiontoapetgripeagainstthings.

TheexcitementofgettingdownandopeningtheChristmaspackagessavedmefromspeculatingtoomuchalongtheseoranyotherlines.

Ihitaminorjackpotrightaway.Inthesamebagwereacompass,acatalyticpocketlighter,aknifewithasaw-toothbackedgethatmade

myaffectionforMotherwaver,adustmask,whatlookedlikeacompactwater-filtrationunit,andseveralotheritemsaddinguptoadeluxeDeathlandsSurvivalKit.

ThereweresomegogglesinthekitIdidn'tsavvyuntilIputthemonandsurveyedthelandscapeouttheviewport.AnearbydustdriftIknewtobehotglowedgreenasdeathintheslightlysmokylenses.Wow!ThosespecshadGeigercountersbeatamileandIprivatelybetmyselftheyworkedatnight.Istucktheminmypocketquick.



*****

Wefoundbunchesoftinyelectronicsparts--Ithinktheywere;spoolsofmagnetictape,butnothingtoplayiton;reelsofverynarrowfilmwithframesmuchtoosmalltoseeanythingatallunmagnified;aboutthreethousandcigarettesinunlabeledtransparentpacksoftwenty--welitupquick,usingmynewlighter;apicturebookthatdidn'tmakemuchsensebecausetheviewsmighthavebeenoftissuesectionsorstarfields,wecouldn'tquitedecide,andtherewerenocaptionstohelp;athinbookwithricepaperpagescoveredwithChinesecharacters--_that_wasapuzzler;athickbookwithnothingbutcolumnsoffigures,allzerosandonesandnothingelse;sometinychisels;andamouthorgan.Pop,who'dmakeapointofjusthelpinginthehunt,appropriatedthatlastitem--Imighthaveknownhewould,Itoldmyself.Nowwecouldexpect"TurkeyintheStraw"atoddmoments.

Alicefoundawholebagofwhatwerewomen'sthingsjudgingfromthefrillinessofthegarmentsincluded.Shesetasidesomesqueeze-packsandlittlegadgetsandelasticitemsrightaway,butshedidn'ttakeanyoftheclothes.Icaughthermeasuringsomekindoftransparentchemiseagainstherselfwhenshethoughtweweren'tlooking;itwasforagirlmaybesixsizesbigger.

*****

Andwefoundfood.Cansoffoodthatwasheatedupinsidebythetimeyougotthetoprolledoff,thoughtheoutsidecouldstillbecooltothetouch.Cansofbonelesssteak,bonelesschops,creamsoup,peas,carrots,andfriedpotatoes--theyweren'tlabeledatallbutyoucouldgenerallyguessthecontentsfromtheshapeofthecan.Eggsthatheatedwhenyoutouchedthemandweresoft-boiledevenlyandbarelyfirmbythetimeyouhadtheshellbroke.Andsmallplasticbottlesofstrongcoffeethatheateduphospitablytoo--inthiscasethetopsdidafive-secondhesitationinthemiddleofyourunscrewingthem.

Atthatpointasyoucanimaginewelettherestofthepackagesgoandhadourselvesafeast.Thefoodateevenbetterthanitsmelled.Itwas

realhardformenottogorge.

ThenasIwasslurpingdownmysecondbottleofcoffeeIhappenedtolookouttheviewportandseethePilot'sbodyandthedarkeningpuddlearounditandthecoffeebegantotaste,well,notbad,butsickening.Idon'tthinkitwasguiltyconscience.Deathlandersoutgrowthoseiftheyeverhavethemtostartwith;lonersdon'tkeepconsciences--ittakesculturestogiveyouthoseandmakethemwork.ArtisticinappropriatenessistheclosestIcancometodescribingwhatbotheredme.Whateveritwas,itmademefeellousyforaminute.

AboutthesametimeAlicedidanoddthingwiththelastof_her_ coffee.Shesloppeditonaragandusedittowashherface.Iguess

she'dcaughtareflectionofherselfwiththebloodsmears.Shedidn'teatanymoreafterthateither.Popkeptonchompingaway,aslowfeederandappreciative.

TobedoingsomethingIstartedtoinspecttheinstrumentpanelandrightawayIwasallexcitedagain.Thetwoscreenswerewhatgotme.Theyshowedshadowymaps,oneofNorthAmerica,theotheroftheWorld.ThefirstonewasawholelotlikethemapI'dbeenimaginingearlier--faintcolorsmarkedthesmall"civilized"areasincludingoneinEasternCanadaandanotherinUpperMichiganthatmustbe"countries"



Ididn'tknowabout,andtheDeathlandswererealdarkjustasI'dalwaysmaintainedtheyshouldbe!

SouthofLakeMichiganwasabrightlyluminousgreenpointthatmustbewherewewere,Idecided.AndforsomereasonthecoloredareasrepresentingLosAlamosandAtlanticHighlandswereglowingbrighterthantheothers--theyhadanactiveluminosity.LosAlamoswasblue,Atla-Hiviolet.LosAlamoswasshownhavingmoreterritorythanIexpected.SavannahFortressforthatmatterwasawhole_lot_biggerthanI'dhavemadeit,pushingoutpseudopodswestandnortheastalongthecoast,thoughitsreddidn'thavetheextraglow.Butitsgrowth-patternreekedofimperialism.

*****

TheWorldscreenshoweddimcolorpatchestoo,butforthemomentIwasmoreinterestedintheother.

ThebuttonarmiesmarchedrightuptotheloweredgeofthescreensandrightawayIgotthecrazyhunchthattheywereconnectedwithspotsonthemap.Pushthebuttonforacertainspotandtheplanewouldgothere!Why,onebuttonevenseemedtohaveafaintvioletnimbusaroundit(orelsemyeyesweregoingbad)asiftosay,"PushmeandwegotoAtlanticHighlands."

AcrazynotionasIsayandnosensiblewaytohandleaplane'snavigationaccordingtoanystandardsIcouldimagine,butthenasI'vealsosaidthisplanedidn'tseemtobedesignedaccordingtoanystandardsbutratherinlinewithoneman'sideas,includinghiswhims.

Atanyratethatwasmyhunchaboutthebuttonsandthescreens.Ittantalizedratherthanhelped,fortheonlybuttonthatseemedtobemarkedinanywaywastheone(guessingbycolor)forAtlanticHighlands,andIcertainlydidn'twanttogothere.LikeAlamos,Atla-Hihasthereputationforbeingamysteriouslydangerousplace.Notopenlymeananddeath-on-DeathlanderslikeWallaWallaorPorter,butbuggerswhoswingtooclosetoAtla-Hihaveawayofneverturningupagain.You

neverexpecttoseeagaintwooutofthreebuggerswhopassinthenight,butforthreeoutofthreetokeepdisappearingisagainststatistics.

Alicewasbesidemenow,scanningthingsovertoo,andfromthewayshefrownedandwhatnotIgatheredshehadcaughtmyhunchandalsosharedmypuzzlement.

Nowwasthetime,allright,whenweneededaninstructionmanualandnotoneinChineseneither!

Popswallowedamouthfulandsaid,"Yep,now'dbeagoodtimetohavehimbackforaminute,toexplainthingsabit.Oh,don'ttakeoffense,

Ray,Iknowhowitwasforyouandforyoutoo,Alice.Iknowthebothofyou_had_tomurderhim,itwasn'tamatteroffreechoice,it'sthewayusDeathlandersarebuilt.Justthesame,it'dbenicetohaveawayofkilling'emandkeepingthemonhandatthesametime.IrememberfeelingthatwayaftermurderingtheAlamoserItoldyouabout.Yousee,IcomedownwiththeveryfeverI'dfakedandalmostdiedofit,whilethemanwhocouldhavecuredmeeasywouldn'tdonothingbutperfumethelandscapewiththehelpofagangofanaerobicbacteria.Stubbornsingle-mindedcuss!"



*****

Thefirstpartofthatorationstartedupmysicknessagainandirkedmenotalittle.Dammit,whatrighthadPoptotalkabouthowallusDeathlanders_hadto_kill(whichwastrueenoughandbyitselfwouldhavemademecottontohim)ifashe'dclaimedearlier_he'd_beenabletoquitkilling?Popwas,anoldhypocrite,Itoldmyself--he'dhelpedmurderthePilot,he'dadmittedasmuch--andAliceandme'dbebetteroffifwebeddedthebothofthemdowntogether.ButthenthesecondpartofwhatPopsaidsomademewanttofeelpleasantlysorryformyselfandlaughatthesametimethatIforgavetheoldgeezer.PracticallyeverythingPopsaidhadthatreassuringtouchofinsanityaboutit.

SoitwasAlicewhosaid,"Shutup,Pop"--andrathercasuallyatthat--andsheandmewentontospeculateandthentoargueaboutwhichbuttonsweoughttopush,ifanyandinwhatorder.

"Whynotjuststartanywhereandkeeppushing'emoneafteranother?--you'regoingtohavetoeventually,mayaswellstartnow,"wasPop'slight-heartedcontributiontothediscussion."Gottotakesomechancesinthislife."Hewassittinginthebackseatandstillnibblingawaylikeawhite-toppedmangyoldsquirrel.

OfcourseAliceandmeknewmorethanthat.Wekeptmakingguessesastohowthebuttonsworkedandthenbackingupourguesseswithhotlanguage.Itwasalittleliketwosavagestryingtodecidehowtoplaychessbylookingatthepieces.Andthentheoldescape-to-paradisethemetookholdofusagainandwestudiedthecoloredblobsontheWorldscreen,tryingtodecidewhichwouldhavethefanciestaccommodationsforblaseex-murderers.OntheNorthAmericascreentootherewasanintriguingpinkpatchinsouthernMexicothatseemedtotakeinoldMexicoCityandAcapulcotoo.

"Quittalkingandstartpushing,"Popproddedus."Thiswayyou'regettingnowherefast.Ican'tstandhesitation,itrilesmynerves."

Alicethoughtyououghttopushtenbuttonsatonce,usingbothhands,andshewasworkingoutpatternsformetotry.ButIwasoffonakickabouthowweshoulddarkentheplanetoseeifanyoftheotherbuttonsglowedbesidetheonewiththeAtla-Hiviolet.

"Lookhere,youkilledabigmantogetthisplane,"Popbrokein,comingupbehindme."Areyougoingtouseitfordiscussiongroupsorareyougoingtoflyit?"

"Quiet,"Itoldhim.I'dgotanewhunchandwasusingthedarkglassestoscantheinstrumentpanel.Theydidn'tshowanything.

"Dammit,Ican'tstandthisanymore,"Popsaidandreachedahandand

armbetweenusandbroughtitdownonaboutfiftybuttons,I'djudge.

Theotherbuttonsjustwentdownandup,buttheAtla-Hibuttonwentdownandstayeddown.

ThevioletblobofAtla-Hionthescreengotevenbrighterinthenextfewmoments.

Thedoorclosedwithatinythud.



Wetookoff.

CHAPTER4

_Anymanwhodealsinmurder,musthaveveryincorrectwaysofthinking,andtrulyinaccurateprinciples._

--_ThomasdeQuinceyin_ MurderConsideredasOneoftheFineArts

Forthatmatterwetookoff_fast_withtheplaneswingingtobeathell.Aliceandmewasinthetwokneelingseatsandwehuggedthemtight,butPopwaslooseandsortofrattledaroundthecabinforawhile--andservehimright!

OnoneoftheswingsIcaughtaglimpseofthesevendentedgastanks,lookinglikedullcrescentsfromthisanglethroughtheorangehazeandgettingrapidlysmallerastheyhazedout.

Afterawhiletheplanelevelledoffandquitswinging,andawhileafterthatmyimageofthecabinquitswingingtoo.OnceagainIjustmanagedtostaveoffthevomits,thistimethevomitsfromnaturalcauses.Alicelookedverypalearoundthegillsandkeptherfaceburiedinthechinrestofherchair.

Popendeduprightinourfaces,sortofspread-eagledagainsttheinstrumentpanel.IngettinghimselfoffithemusthavebracedhishandsagainsthalfthebuttonsatonetimeoranotherandInoticedthatnoneofthemwentdownafraction.Theywere_locked_.IthadprobablyhappenedautomaticallywhentheAtla-Hibuttongotpushed.

I'dhavestoppedhimmessingaroundinthatapishway,butwiththe

ultra-queasystateofmystomachIlackedallambitionandwashappyjustnottobesmellinghimsoclose.

Istillwasn'ttakingtoogreataninterestinthingsasIidlywatchedtheoldgeezerrummagingaroundthecabinforsomethingthatgotmisplacedintheshake-up.Eventuallyhefoundit--asmallalmond-shapedcan.Heopenedit.Sureenoughitturnedouttohavealmondsinit.Hefittedhimselfinthebackseatandmunchedthemoneatatime.Ish!

"Nothinglikeafewnutstotopoffwith,"hesaidcheerfully.

Icouldhavecuthisthroatevenmorecheerfully,butthedamagehadbeendoneandyouthinktwicebeforeyoukillapersoninclosequarters

whenyouaren'tabsolutelysureyou'llbeabletodisposeofthebody.HowdidIknowI'dbeabletoopenthedoor?IrememberphilosophizingthatPopoughtatleasttohavebrokeanarmsohe'dbeasbadlyoffasAliceandme(thoughforthatmattermyrightarmwasfullyrecoverednow)buthewasallinonepiece.There'snojusticeinevents,that'sforsure.

Theplaneploughedalongsilentlythroughtheorangesoup,thoughtherewasreallynowaytotellitwasmovingnow--untilaskewyspindleshapeloomedupaheadandshotbackovertheviewport.Ithinkitwasa



vulture.Idon'tknowhowvulturesmanagetooperateinthehaze,whichoughttocanceltheirkeeneyesight,buttheydo.Itshotpast_fast_.

Aliceliftedherfaceoutofthespongestuffandbegantostudythebuttonsagain.Iheavedmyselfupandaroundalittleandsaid,"Pop,Aliceandmearegoingtotrytoworkouthowthisplanenavigates.Thistimewedon'twantnointerference."Ididn'tsayawordmoreaboutwhathe'ddone.Itneverdoestohashoverstupidities.

"That'sperfectlyfine,gorightahead,"hetoldme."Ifeelcalmasakittennowwe'regoingsomewheres.That'sallthatevermatterswithme."Hechuckledabitandadded,"YougottoadmitIgaveyouandAlicesomethingtoworkwith,"butthenhehadthesensetoshutuptight.

*****

Weweren'tsocharyofpushingbuttonsthistime,buttenminutesorsoconvincedusthatyoucouldn'tpushanyofthebuttonsanymore,they _were_alllockeddown--alllockedexceptformaybeone,whichwedidn'ttryatfirstforaspecialreason.

Welookedforothercontrols--sticks,levers,pedals,finger-holesandthelike.Thereweren'tany.AlicewentbackandtriedthebuttonsonPop'sminorconsole.Theywerelockedtoo.Poplookedinterestedbut

didn'tsayaword.

Werealizedinageneralwaywhathadhappened,ofcourse.PushingtheAtla-Hibuttonhadsetusonsomekindofirreversibleautomatic.Icouldn'timaginethewhyofgimmickingaplane'scontrolslikethat,unlessmaybetokeeploosechildrenorprisonersfrombeingabletomessthingsupwhilethepilottookasnooze,buttherewerealotofwhystothisplanethatdidn'tseemtohaveanystandardanswers.

ThebusinessoftakingoffonirreversibleautomatichadhappenedsoneatlythatInaturallywonderedwhetherPopmightnotknowmoreaboutnavigatingthisplanethanheleton,awholelotmoreinfact,andtheseeminglyidioticpetulanceofhispushingallthebuttonshavebeena

shrewdcoverforpushingtheAtla-Hibutton.ButifPophadbeenactinghe'dbeenactingbeautifully,withaserenedisregardforthechancesofbreakinghisownneck.IdecidedthiswasapossibilityIcouldthinkaboutlaterandmaybeactonthen,afterAliceandmehadworkedthroughthemoreobviousstuff.

Thereasonwehadn'ttriedtheonebuttonyetwasthatitshowedagreennimbus,justliketheAtla-Hibuttonhadhadavioletnimbus.NowtherewasnogreenoneitherofthescreensexceptforthetinygreenstarthatIhadfiguredstoodfortheplaneanditdidn'tmakesensetogowherewealreadywere.Andifitmeantsomeotherplace,someplacenotshownonthescreens,youbetweweren'tgoingtobetooquickaboutdecidingtogothere.ItmightnotbeonEarth.

Aliceexpresseditbysaying,"MynamesakewasalwaysalittletooquickatrespondingtothoseDRINKMEcues."

Isupposeshethoughtshewasbeingcryptic,butIfooledher."_AliceinWonderland_?"Iasked.Shenodded,andgavemealittlesmile,notatalllikeoneoftheEATMEsmilesshe'dgivenmelastevening.

Itisfunnyhowcrazilyhappyalittletouchoftheintellectualpastlikethatcanmakeyoufeel--andhowhorriblyuncomfortableamoment



later.

WebothstartedtostudytheNorthAmericascreenagainandalmostatoncewerealizedthatithadchangedinonesmallparticular.Thegreenstarhadtwinned.Wheretherehadbeenonepointofgreenlighttherewerenowtwo,veryclosetogetherlikethedoublestarinthehandleoftheDipper.Wewatcheditforawhile.Thedistancebetweenthetwostarsgrewperceptiblygreater.Wewatcheditforawhilelonger,considerablylonger.Itbecameclearthatthepositionofthemorewesterlystaronthescreenwasfixed,whilethemoreeasterlystarwasmovingeasttowardAtla-Hiwithaboutthespeedofthetipoftheminutehandonawristwatch(twoinchesanhour,say).Thepatternbegantomakesense.

*****

Ifigureditthisway:themovingstarmuststandfortheplane,theothergreendotmuststandforwheretheplanehadjustbeen.Forsomereasonthespotonthefreewaybytheoldcrackingplantwasrecognizedasamarkedlocalitybythescreen.WhyIdon'tknow.Itremindedmeoftheold"XMarkstheSpot"ofnewspapermurders,butthatwouldbegettingveryfancy.Anywaythespotwe'djusttakenofffromwassomarkedandinthatcasethebuttonwiththegreennimbus...

"Holdtight,everybody,"IsaidtoAlice,grudginglyincludingPopinmywarning."Igottotryit."

Igrippedmyseatwithmykneesandonearmandpushedthegreenbutton.Itpushed.

Theplaneswungaroundinalevelloop,nottootighttodisturbthestomachmuch,andsteadiedoutagain.

Icouldn'tjudgehowfarwe'dswungbutAliceandmewatchedthegreenstarsandafteraboutaminuteshesaid,"They'regettingcloser,"andalittlewhilelaterIsaid,"Yeah,forsure."

Iscannedtheboard.Thegreenbutton--thecracking-plantbutton,tocallitthat--waslockeddownofcourse.TheAtla-Hibuttonwasup,glowingviolet.Alltheotherbuttonswerestillupand_locked_up--Itriedthemallagain.

*****

Itwasclearasdayusedtobe.WecouldeithergotoAtla-Hiorwecouldgobackwherewe'dstartedfrom.Therewasnothirdpossibility.

Itwasalittlehardtotake.Youthinkofaplaneasfreedom,assomethingthatwillcarryyouanywhereintheworldyouchoosetogo,especiallyanyparadise,andthenyoufindyourselfworselimitedthan

ifyou'dstayedontheground--atleastthatwasthewayitwashappeningtous.

ButAliceandmewererealists.Weknewitwouldn'thelptowail.Wewereupagainstanotherofthose"two"problems,theproblemoftwodestinations,andwehadtochooseours.

_Ifwegoback_,Ithought,_wecantrekonsomewhere--anywhere--richerbythelootfromtheplane,especiallythatSurvivalKit.Trekonwithsomelootwe'llmostlyneverunderstandandwiththeknowledgethatwe



areleavingaplanethatcanfly,thatweareshrinkingbackfromanunknownadventure_.

_Alsoifwegobackthere'ssomethingelsewe'llhavetoface,somethingwe'llhavetolivewithforalittlewhileatleastthatwon'tbenicetolivewithafterthiscozilypersonalcabin,somethingthatshouldn'tbothermeatallbut,dammit,itdoes._

Alicemadethedecisionforusandatthesametimeshowedshewasthinkingaboutthesamethingasme.

"Idon'twanttohavetosmellhim,Ray,"shesaid."Iamnotgoingbacktokeepcompanywiththatfilthycorpse.I'dratheranythingthanthat."AndshepushedtheAtla-HibuttonagainandastheplanestartedtoswingshelookedatmedefiantlyasiftosayI'dreversethecourseagainoverherdeadbody.

"Don'ttenseup,"Itoldher."Iwantanewshakeofthedicemyself."

"Youknow,Alice,"Popsaidreflectively,"itwasthesmellofmyAlamosergottometoo.Ijustcouldn'tbearit.Icouldn'tgetawayfromitbecausemyfeverhadmepinneddown,sotherewasnothingleftformetodobutgocrazy.NoAtla-Hiforme,justBug-land.Myminddied,thoughnotmymemory.BythetimeI'dgotmystrengthbackI'd

startedtobeanewbugger.Ididn'tknownomoreaboutlivingthananewbornbabe,exceptIknewIcouldn'tgoback--gobacktomurderingandallthat.Mynewmindknewthatmuchthoughotherwiseitwasjustablank.Itwasallveryfunny."

"AndthenIsuppose,"Alicecutin,hervoicecorrosivewithsarcasm,"youhuntedupawanderingpreacher,orperhapsakindlyoldhermitwholivedonhotmanna,andheshowedyouthebluesky!"

"Whyno,Alice,"Popsaid."ItoldyouIdon'tgoforreligion.Asithappens,Ihuntedmeupacoupleofmurderers,guyswhowereworsecasesthenmyselfbutwho'dwantedtoquitbecauseitwasn'tgettingthemnowhereandwho'dfound,I'dheard,awayofquitting,andthethreeof

ushadalongtalktogether."

"AndtheytoldyouthegreatsecretofhowtoliveintheDeathlandswithoutkilling,"Alicecontinuedacidly."Dropthenonsense,Pop.Itcan'tbedone."

"It'shard,I'llgrantyou,"Popsaid."Youhavetogocrazyorsomethingalmostasbad--infact,maybegoingcrazyistheeasiestway.Butitcanbedoneand,inthelongrun,murderisevenharder."

*****

Idecidedtointerruptthisidlechatter.Sincewewerenowdefinitely

headedforAtla-Hiandtherewasnothingtodountilwegotthere,unlessoneofusgotabrainstormaboutthecontrols,itwastimetostartonthelessobviousstuffI'dtabledinmymind.

"Whyareyouonthisplane,Pop?"Iaskedsharply."WhatdoyoufigureongettingoutofAliceandme?--andIdon'tmeanthefreemeals."

Hegrinned.Histeethwerewhiteandeven--plates,ofcourse."Why,Ray,"hesaid,"IwasjustgivingAlicethereason.Iliketotalktomurderers,practicingmurdererspreferred.Ineedto--_have_totalkto



'em,tokeepmyselfstraight.OtherwiseImightstartkillingagainandI'mnotuptothatanymore."

"Oh,soyougetyourkicksatsecondhand,youoldpeeper,"Aliceputinbut,"Quitlying,Pop,"Isaid."Abouthavingquitkilling,foronething.Inmybooks,whichhappentobetheoldbooksinthiscase,theaccompliceiseverybitasguiltyasthemanwiththeslicer.YouhelpeduskillthePilotbygivingthatfunnyscreamandyouknowit."

"WhosaysIdid?"Popcountered,rearingupalittle."Ineversaidso.Ijustsaid,'Forgetit.'"Hehesitatedamoment,studyingme.Thenhesaid,"Iwasn'ttheonegavethatscream.Infact,I'dhavestoppeditifI'dbeenable."

"Whodidthen?"

Againhestudiedmeashehesitated."I'mnottelling,"hesaid,settlingback.

"Pop!"Isaid,sharpagain."Buggerswhopadtogethertelleverything."

"Ohyeah,"heagreed,smiling."Iremembersayingthattoquiteafewguysinmyday.It'saveryrestfulcomradelysentiment.Ikilledeverylastoneof'em,too."

"Youmayhave,Pop,"Igranted,"butwe'retwotoone."

"Soyouare,"heagreedsoftly,lookingthebothofusover.Iknewwhathewasthinking--thatAlicestillhadjustherpliersonandthatintheseclosequartershiskniveswereasgoodasmygun.

"Givemeyourrighthand,Alice,"Isaid.WithouttakingmyeyesoffPopIreachedtheknifewithoutahandleoutofherbeltandthenIstartedtounscrewthepliersoutofherstump.

"Pop,"IsaidasIdidso,"youmayhavequitkillingforallIknow.ImeanyoumayhavequitkillingcleandecentDeathlandstyle.ButIdon't

believeonebitofthatguffabouthavingtotalktomurdererstokeepyourmindsweet.Furthermore--"

"It'struethough,"heinterrupted."Igottokeepmyselfremindedofhowlousyitfeelstobeamurderer."

"So?"Isaid."Well,here'sonepersonwhobelievesyou'vegotamorepracticalreasonforbeingonthisplane.Pop,what'sthebountyAtla-HigivesyouforeveryDeathlanderyoubringin?WhatwoulditbefortwoliveDeathlanders?Andwhatsortofrewardwouldtheypayforalostplanebroughtin?Seemstometheymightverywellmakeyouacitizenforthat."

"Yes,evengiveyouyourownchurch,"Aliceaddedwithasortofwickedgaiety.Isqueezedherstumpgentlytotellherletmehandleit.

"Why,Iguessyoucanbelievethatifyouwantto,"Popsaidandletoutasoftbreath."Seemstomeyouneedalotofcoincidencesandhappenstancestomakethattheoryholdwater,butyousurecanbelieveitifyouwantto.Igotnoway,Ray,toprovetoyouI'mtellingthetruthexcepttosayIam."

"Right,"IsaidandthenIthrewthenextoneathimrealfast."What's



more,Pop,weren'tyoutravelinginthisplanetobeginwith?Thatcutsahappenstance.Didn'tyouhopoutwhileweweretoobusywiththePilottonoticeandjust_pretend_tobecomingfromthecrackingplant?Weren'tthebuttonslockedbecauseyouwerethePilot'sprisoner?"

*****

Popcreasedhisbrowthoughtfully."Itcouldhavebeenthatway,"hesaidatlast."Couldhavebeen--accordingtotheevidenceasyousawit.It'squiteabrightidea,Ray.Icanalmostseemyselfskulkinginthiscabin,whileyouandAlice--"

"Youwereskulkingsomewhere,"Isaid.IfinishedscrewingintheknifeandgaveAlicebackherhand."I'llrepeatit,Pop,"Isaid."We'retwotoone.You'dbettertalk."

"Yes,"Aliceadded,disregardingmyprevioushint."Youmayhavegivenupfighting,Pop,butIhaven't.Notfighting,norkilling,noranythinginbetweenthosetwo.Anyleastthing."Mygirlwasbeinghermostpantherish.

"NowwhosaysI'vegivenup_fighting_?"Popdemanded,rearingalittleagain."Youpeopleassumetoomuch,it'sadangeroushabit.Beforewehaveanytroubleandsomebodysquawksaboutmecheating,let'sgetone

thingstraight.IfanybodyjumpsmeI'lltrytodisablethem,I'lltrytohurttheminanywayshortofkilling,andthatmeanshamstringingandrabbit-punchingandeverythingelse.Everyleastthing,Alice.AndiftheyhappentodiewhileI'mhonestlyjusttryingtohurttheminawayshortofkilling,thenIwon'tgrievetoomuch.Myconsciencewillbereasonablyclear.Isthatunderstood?"

Ihadtoadmitthatitwas.Popmightbelyingaboutalotofthings,butIjustdidn'tbelievehewaslyingaboutthis.AndIalreadyknewPopwasquickforhisageandstrongenough.IfAliceandmejumpedhimnowthere'dbebloodletsixdifferentways.Youcan'tjumpamanwhohasadozenkniveseasytohandandnotexpectthattohappen,twotooneornot.We'dgethimintheendbutitwouldbegory.

*****

"Andnow,"Popsaidquietly,"I_will_talkalittleifyoudon'tmind.Lookhere,Ray...Alice...thetwoofyouareconfirmedmurderers,Iknowyouwouldn'ttellmenothingdifferent,andbeingsuchyoubothknowthatthere'snothinginmurderinthelongrun.Itsatisfiesahungerandmaybegetsyoualittlelootanditletsyougetontothenextkilling.Butthat'sall,absolutelyall.Yetyougottodoitbecauseit'sthewayyou'rebuilt.Theurgeisthere,it'sanoverpoweringurge,andyougotnothingtoopposeitwith.YoufeeltheBigGriefandtheBigResentment,thedustiseatingatyourbones,youcan'tstandthecitysquares--thePorteritesandMantenorsand

such--becauseyouknowthey'rewhistlinginthedarkandit'sadirtytune,soyougoonkilling.Butiftherewereadecentpracticalwaytoquit,you'dtakeit.AtleastIthinkyouwould.WhenyoustillthoughtthisplanecouldtakeyoutoRioorEuropeyoufeltthatway,didn'tyou?Youweren'tplanningtogothereasmurderers,wereyou?Youweregoingtoleaveyourtradebehind."

Itwasprettyquietinthecabinforacoupleofseconds.ThenAlice'sthinlaughslicedthesilence."Weweredreamingthen,"shesaid."Wewereoutofourheads.Butnowyou'retalkingaboutpracticalthings,as



yousay.Whatdoyouexpectustodoifwequitourtrade,asyoucallit--gointoWallaWallaorOuachitaandgiveourselvesup?ImightlosemorethanmyrighthandatOuachitathistime--thatwasjustonsuspicion."

"OrAtla-Hi,"Iaddedmeaningfully."Areyouexpectingustoadmitwe'remurdererswhenwegettoAtla-Hi,Pop?"

Theoldgeezersmiledandthinnedhiseyes."Nowthatwouldn'taccomplishmuch,wouldit?Mostplacesthey'djuststringyouup,maybeafterticklingyourpainnervesabit,orifitwasMantenotheymightputyouinacageandfeedyouslopsandprayoveryou,andwouldthathelpyouoranybodyelse?Ifamanorwomanquitskillingthere'salotofthingshe'sgottostraightenout--firsthisownmindandfeelings,nexthe'sgottodowhathecantomakeupforthemurdershe'sdone--helpthenextofkinifanyandsoon--thenhe'sgottocarrythenewstootherkillerswhohaven'theardityet.He'sgotnotimetowastebeinghanged.Believeme,he'sgotworklinedupforhim,workthat'sgottobedonemostlyintheDeathlands,andit'sthesortofworkthecitysquarescan'thelphimwithonebit,becausetheyjustdon'tunderstandusmurderersandwhatmakesustick.Wehavetodoitourselves."

*****

"Hey,Pop,"Icutin,gettingalittleinterestedintheargument(therewasn'tanythingelsetogetinterestedinuntilwegottoAtla-HiorPopletdownhisguard),"Idigyouonthecitysquares(Icall'emculturalqueers)andwhatsortofscrewed-upfatheadstheyare,butjustthesameforamantoquitkillinghe'sgottoquitlone-wolfingit.He'sgottobelongtoacommunity,he'sgottohaveacultureofsomesort,nomatterhowdisgustingornutsy."

"Well,"Popsaid,"don'tusDeathlandershaveaculture?Withcustomsandfolkwaysandalltherest?Averytightlittleculture,infact.Nutsyasallgetout,ofcourse,butthat'soneofthebeautiesofit."

"Ohsure,"Igrantedhim,"butit'saculturebasedonmurderanddevotedwhollytomurder.Murderisourwayoflife.Thatgetsyourargumentnowhere,Pop."

"Correction,"hesaid."Orrather,re-interpretation."Andnowforalittlewhilehisvoicegotlessold-manharshandyetbiggersomehow,asifitweremorethanjustPoptalking."Everyculture,"hesaid,"isawayofgrowthaswellasawayoflife,becausethefirstlawoflifeisgrowth.OurDeathlandcultureisdevotedtogrowing_through_murder _awayfrom_murder.That'smythought.It'saboutthetoughestwayofgrowthanybodywaseveraskedtofaceupto,butit'sawayofgrowthjustthesame.Alotbiggerandfancierculturesnevercouldfigureouttheanswertotheproblemofwarandkilling--_we_knowthat,allright,

weinhabittheirgrandestfailure.MaybeusDeathlanders,workingwithmurdereveryday,unabletopretendthatitisn'tpartofeveryoneofus,unabletoputitoutofourmindslikethecitysquaresdo--maybeusDeathlandersaretheonestodothatlittlejob."

"Buthell,Pop,"Iobjected,gettingexcitedinspiteofmyself,"evenifwegotaculturehereintheDeathlands,aculturethatcangrow,itain'taculturethatcandealwithrepentantmurderers.Ina_real_ cultureamurdererfeelsguiltyandconfessesandthenhegetshangedorimprisonedalongtimeandthatsquaresthingsforhimandeverybody.



Youneedreligionandcourtsandhangmenandscrewsandalltherestofit.Idon'tthinkit'senoughforamanjusttosayhe'ssorryandgoaroundglad-handingotherkillers--_that_isn'tgoingtobeenoughtowipeouthissenseofguilt."

Popsquaredhiseyesatmine."Areyousofancythatyouhavetohaveasenseofguilt,Ray?"hedemanded."Can'tyoujustseewhensomething'slousy?Asenseofguilt'saluxury.Ofcourseit'snotenoughtosayyou'resorry--you'regoingtohavetospendagoodpartoftherestofyourlifemakingupforwhatyou'vedone...andwhatyouwilldo,too!Butabouthangingandprisons--wasiteverprovedthoseweretherightthingformurderers?Asforreligionnow--someofuswho'vequitkillingarereligiousandalotofus(meincluded)aren't;andsomeoftheonesthatarereligiousfigure(maybebecausethere'snowayforthemtogethanged)thatthey'redamnedeternally--butthatdoesn'tstopthemdoinggoodwork.Iaskyounow,isanylittlethinglikebeingdamnedeternallyasatisfactoryexcuseforbehavinglikeacompleterat?"

Thatdidit,somehow.ThatlaststatementofPop'sappealedsomuchtomeandwascompletelycrazyatthesametime,thatIcouldn'thelpwarminguptohim.Don'tgetmewrong,Ididn'treallyfallforhislineofchatteratall,butIfounditfuntogoalongwithit--solongastheplanewasinthisshuttlesituationandwehadnothingbettertodo.

Aliceseemedtofeelthesameway.IguessanybuggerthatcouldkidreligionthewayPopcouldgotalittlesilverstarinherbooks.Bronze,anyway.

*****

Rightawaytheatmospheregoteasier.TostartwithweaskedPoptotellusaboutthis"us"hekeptmentioningandhesaiditwassomedozens(orhundreds--nobodyhadaccuratefigures)ofkillerswho'dquitandwentnomadingaroundtheDeathlandstryingtorecruitothersandhelpthosewhowantedtobehelped.Theyhadsemi-permanentmeetingplaceswheretheytriedtogettogetheratpre-arrangeddates,butmostlytheykeptonthego,bytwosandthreesor--morerarely--alone.Theywereallmen

sofar,atleastPophadn'theardofanywomenmembers,but--heassuredAliceearnestly--hewouldpersonallyguaranteethattherewouldbenoobjectionstoagirljoiningup.TheyhadrecentlytakentocallingthemselvesMurderersAnonymous,aftersomepre-warorganizationPopdidn'tknowtheoriginalpurposeof.Quiteafewofthemhadslippedandgonebacktomurderingagain,butsomeofthesehadcomebackafterawhile,moredeterminedthanevertomakeagoofit.

"Wewelcomed'em,ofcourse,"Popsaid."Wewelcomeeverybody.Everybodythat'sagenuinemurderer,thatis,andsayshewantstoquit.Guysthataren'tbloodedyetwedrawthelineat,nomatterhowfinetheyare."

Also,"Wehavealotoffunatourmeetings,"Popassuredus."Youneversawsuchhightimes.Nobody'sgotarighttogogloomingaroundorpullalongfacejustbecausehe'sdoneakillingortwo.Religionornoreligion,pride'sasin."

AliceandmeateitalluplikewewasacoupleofkidsandPopwastellingusfairytales.That'swhatitallwas,ofcourse,afairytale--acrazymixed-upfairytale.AliceandmeknewtherecouldbenofellowshipofDeathlanderslikePopwasdescribing--itwasimpossibleasbluesky--butitgaveusakicktopretendtoourselvesforawhileto



believeinit.

*****

Popcouldtalkforever,apparently,aboutmurderandmurderersandhehadabottomlessbagoffunnystoriesonthesametopicandcharactervignettes--themurdererswhowereforeverwantingtheirvictimstounderstandandforgivethem,theoneswhothoughtofthemselvesaslittlekingswithdivinerightsofdispensingdeath,theoneswhoinsistedonlayingdown(chastely)besidetheirfinishedvictimsandplayingdeadforacoupleofhours,theoneswhoweren'tsochaste,theoneswhocouldonlydotheirkillingswhentheyweredressedacertainway(andthetroublestheyhadwiththeirmurdercostumes),theoneswhocouldonlykillpeoplewithcertaintraitsorofacertainappearance(red-heads,say,orpeoplewhoreadbooks,orwhocouldn'tcarrytunes,orwhousedbadlanguage),theoneswhoalwaysmixedsexandmurderandtheoneswhobelievedthatmurderwascontaminatedbytheleastbreathofsex,thesticklersandtheSloppyJoes,theartistsandthebutchers,theax-andstiletto-types,the_com_pulsivesandthe_re_pulsives--honestly,Pop'sportraitsfromlifeaddeduptoaDanceofDeathasgoodasanythingtheMiddleAgeseverproducedandtheyoughttohavebeenillustratedlikethosebysomegreatartist.Poptoldusalotabouthisownkillingstoo.Aliceandmewasinterested,butneitherofuswasn'ttemptedintomakingparallelrevelationsaboutourselves.Yourprivate

life'syourownbusiness,Ifelt,ascloseasyourguts,andnojoke'sgoodenoughtojustifyrevealingaknotofit.

NotthatwetalkedaboutnothingbutmurderwhilewewerebulletingalongtowardAtla-Hi.Theconversationwasfree-wheelingandwegotontoallsortsoftopics.Forinstance,wegottotalkingabouttheplaneandhowitflewitself--orlevitateditself,rather.Isaiditmustgenerateanantigravityfieldthatwaskeyedtothebodyoftheplanebutnothingelse,sothat_we_didn'tfeellighter,noranyoftheobjectsinthecabin--itjustworkedonthedullsilverymetal--andIprovedmypointbyusingMothertoshavealittlewispofmetalofftheedgeofthecontrolboard.Thecurlicuestayedintheairwhereveryouputitandwhenyoumovedityoucouldfeelthefaintestsortofgyroscopic

resistance.Itwasverystrange.

Poppointedoutitwasalittlelikemagnetism.Agermridingonanironfilingthatwastravelingtowardthepoleofabigmagnetwouldn'tfeelthemagneticpull--itwouldn'tbeoperatingonhim,onlyontheiron--butjustthesamethegerm'dbecarriedalongwiththefilingandfeelitsaccelerationandall,providedhecouldholdon--butforthatpurposeyoucouldimagineatinycabininthefiling."That'swhatweare,"Popadded."Threegerms,jumbosize."

Alicewantedtoknowwhyanantigravityplaneshouldhaveeventhestubbiestwingsorajetforthatmatter,forwerememberednowwe'dnoticedthetubes,andIsaiditwasmaybejustareservesystemincase

theantigravityfailedandPopguesseditmightbeforextra-fastbattlemaneuveringorevenforoperatingoutsidetheatmosphere(whichhardlymadesense,asIprovedtohim).

"Ifwe'reabattleplane,where'sourguns?"Aliceasked.Noneofushadananswer.

Werememberedthenoisetheplanehadmadebeforewesawit.Itmusthavebeenusingitsjetsthen."Anddoyousuppose,"Popasked,"thatitwassomethingfromtheantigravitythatmadeelectricityflareoutof



thetopofthecrackingplant?Liketohavescaredthepantsoffme!"Noanswertothateither.

Nowwasalogicaltime,ofcourse,toaskPopwhatheknewaboutthecrackingplantandjustwhohaddonethescreamifnothim,butIfiguredhestillwouldn'ttalk;aslongaswewereactingfriendlytherewasnopointinspoilingit.

*****

Weguessedaroundalittle,though,aboutwheretheplanecamefrom.PopsaidAlamos,IsaidAtla-Hi,Alicesaidwhynotfromboth,whycouldn'tAlamosandAtla-Hihavesomesortoftreatyandtheplanebetravelingfromtheonetotheother.Weagreeditmightbe.AtleastitfittedwiththeAtla-HivioletandtheAlamosbluebeingbrighterthantheothercolors.

"Ijusthopewegotsomesortofanti-collisionradar,"Isaid.Iguessedwehad,becausetwicewe'djoggedinourcoursealittle,maybetocleartheAlleghenies.TheeasterlygreenstarwasbynowgettingprettyclosetothevioletblotofAtla-Hi.Ilookedoutattheorangesoup,whichwas_one_thingthathadn'tchangedabitsofar,andIgottowishinglikeababythatitwasn'tthereandtothinkinghowitblanketedthewholeEarth(starsovertheRiviera?--don'tmakeme

laugh!)andIheardmyselfasking,"Pop,didyouruboutthatguythatpushedthebuttonsforallthis?"

"Nope,"Popansweredwithouthesitation,justasifithadn'tbeenfourhoursorsosincehe'dmentionedthepoint."Nope,Ray.FactisIwelcomedhimintoourlittlefellowshipaboutsixmonthsback.Thisis _his_knifehere,thishorn-handleinmyboot,thoughheneverkilledwithit.Heclaimedhe'dbeentorturedforyearsbythethoughtofthemillionsandmillionshe'dkilledwithblastandradiation,butnowhewasfindingpeaceatlastbecausehewaswherehebelonged,withthemurderers,andcouldstarttodosomethingaboutit.Severaloftheboysdidn'twanttolethimin.Theyclaimedhewasn'tarealmurderer,doingitbyremotecontrol,nomatterhowmanyhebumpedoff."

"I'dhavebeenontheirside,"Alicesaid,thinningherlips.

"Yep,"Popcontinued,"theygotrealhotaboutit._He_gothottooandallexcitedandofferedtogooutandkillsomebodywithhisbarehandsrightoff,ortryto(he'saskinnylittlerunt),ifthat'swhathehadtodotojoin.Weargueditover,Ipointedoutthatweletex-soldierscountthekillingsthey'ddoneinservice,andthatwecountedpoisoningsandboobytrapsandsuchtoo--whichareremote-controlkillingsinaway--soeventuallywelethimin.He'sdoinggoodwork.We'refortunatetohavehim."

"Doyouthinkhe'sreallytheguywhopushedthebuttons?"IaskedPop.

"HowshouldIknow?"Popreplied."Heclaimstobe."

Iwasgoingtosaysomethingaboutpeoplewhofakedconfessionstogetalittleeasyglory,ascomparedtotheguyswhowerereallyguiltyandwouldsoonerbechoppedupthantalkaboutit,butatthatmomentafourthvoicestartedtalkingintheplane.ItseemedtobecomingoutofthevioletpatchontheNorthAmericascreen.Thatis,itcamefromthegeneraldirectionofthescreenatanyrateandmymindinstantlytiedittothevioletpatchatAtla-Hi.Itgaveusafright,Icantellyou.



Alicegrabbedmykneewithherpliers(shechangedagain),harderthanshe'dintended,Isuppose,thoughIdidn'tletoutayip--Iwastoodefensivelyfrozen.

*****

ThevoicewastalkingalanguageIdidn'tunderstandatallthatwentupanddownthescalelikeatonalmusic.

"SoundslikeChinese,"Popwhispered,givingmeanudge.

"It_is_Chinese.Mandarin,"thescreenrespondedinstantlyinthepurestEnglish--atleastthatwashowI'ddescribeit.PracticallyBoston."Whoareyou?AndwhereisGrayl?Comein,Grayl."

IknewwellenoughwhoGraylmustbe--orrather,havebeen.IlookedatPopandAlice.Popgrinned,maybeamitefeeblythistime,Ithought,andgavemealookasiftosay,"_You_wanttohandleit?"

Iclearedmythroat.Then,"We'vetakenoverforGrayl,"Isaidtothescreen.

"Oh."Thescreenhesitated,justbarely.Then,"Doanyof'you'speakMandarin?"

IhardlybotheredtolookatPopandAlice."No,"Isaid.

"Oh."Againatinypause."IsGraylaboardtheplane?"

"No."Isaid.

"Oh.Incapacitatedinsomeway,Isuppose?"

"Yes,"Isaid,gratefulforthescreen'stactfulness,unintentionalornot.

"Butyouhavetakenoverforhim?"thescreenpressed.

"Yes,"Isaid,swallowing.Ididn'tknowwhatIwasgettingusinto,thingsweremovingtoofast,butitseemedthemerestsensetoactcooperative.

"I'mverygladofthat,"thescreensaidwithsomethinginitstonethatmademefeelfunny--Iguessitwassincerity.Thenitsaid,"Isthe--"andhesitated,andstartedagainwith"Aretheblocksaboard?"

Ithought.Alicepointedatthestuffshedumpedoutoftheotherseat.Isaid."There'saboxwithathousandorsoone-inchunderweightsteelcubesinit.Likeachild'sblocks,butwithbuttonsinthem.Alongsideaboxwithaparachute."

"That'swhatImean,"thescreensaidandsomehow,maybebecausewhoeverwastalkingwastryingtohideit,Icaughtanoteofgreatrelief.

"Look,"thescreensaid,morerapidlynow,"Idon'tknowhowmuchyouknow,butwemayhavetoworkveryfast.Youaren'tgoingtobeabletodeliverthesteelcubestousdirectly.Infactyouaren'tgoingtobeabletolandinAtlanticHighlandsatall.We'resiegedinbyplanesandgroundforcesofSavannahFortress.Allouraircraft,suchashaven'tbeendestroyed,arepinneddown.You'regoingtohavetoparachutethe



blockstoapointasnearaspossibletooneofourgroundpartiesthat'smadeasortie.We'llgiveyouasignal.Ihopeitwillbelater--nearerhere,thatis--butitmaybesooner.Doyouknowhowtofighttheplaneyou'rein?Operateitsarmament?"

"No,"Isaid,wettingmylip.

"Thenthat'sthefirstthingI'dbestteachyou.AnythingyouseeinthehazefromnowonwillbefromSavannah.Youmustshootitdown."

CHAPTER5

_AndwearehereasonadarklingplainSweptwithconfusedalarmsofstruggleandflight,Whereignorantarmiesclashbynight._

--DoverBeach,_byMatthewArnold_

Iamnotgoingtotrytodescribepointbypointallthathappenedthe

nexthalfhourbecausetherewastoomuchofitanditinvolvedallthreeofus,sometimesdoingdifferentthingsatthesametime,andalthoughweweretoldalotofthings,wewereseldomifevertoldthewhyofthem,andthroughitallwastheconstantimpressionthatweweredealingwithhumanbeings(Ialmostleftoutthe"human"andI'mstillnotabsolutelysurewhetherIshouldn't)ofvastlygreaterscope--andprobablyintelligencetoo--thanourselves.

Andthatwasjustthe_basic_confusion,togiveitaname.Afterawhilethesituationgotmoredifficult,asI'lltrytotellinduecourse.

*****

Tobeginwith,itwasextremelyweirdtoplungefromaratherleisurelyconfababoutafairy-talefellowshipofnon-practicingmurderersintoashootingwarbetweenavioletblobandadarkredpuddleonashadowyfluorescentmap.Thevoicedidn'tthrowanygreatshininglightsonthistopic,becauseafterthefirst--andperhapsunguarded--revelation,welearnedlittlemoreofthewarbetweenAtla-HiandSavannahFortressandnothingofthereasonsbehindit.PresumablySavannahwastheaggressor,reachingoutnorthaftertheconquestofBirmingham,buteventhatwasjustaguess.Itishardtodescribehowshadowyitallfelttome;thereweresomeminuteswhilemymindkeptmixingupthewholethingwithwhatI'dreadlongagoabouttheCivilWar:SavannahwasLee,Atla-HiwasGrant,andwehadbeendroppedspangintothemiddleofthe

secondBattleoftheWilderness.

ApparentlytheSavannahplaneshadsomesortofneedlerayaspartoftheirarmament--atanyrateIwaswarnedtowatchoutfor"swinginglinesinthehaze,likestraightstringsofpinkstars"andlatertoldtoaimatthesourcesofsuchlines.AndnaturallyIguessedthatthesteelcubesmustbesomecrucialweaponforAtla-Hi,orammunitionforaweapon,orpartsforsomeessentialinstrumentlikeagiantcomputer,butthevoiceignoredmyquestionsonthatpointanddidn'tfallintothecoupleofcrudeconversationaltrapsItriedtoset.Weweretodrop



thecubeswhentold,thatwasall.Pophadtheboxofthemclosedagainandriggedtotheparachute--hetookoverthatjobbecauseAliceandmewerebusywithotherthingswhentheinstructionsonthatcamethrough--andhewastoldhowtoopenthedooroftheplaneforthedrop(youjustheldyourhandsteadilyonapointbesidethedoor),but,asIsay,thatwasall.

Naturallyitoccurredtomethatoncewehadmadethedrop,Atla-HiwouldhavenomoreuseforusandmightsimplyletusbedestroyedbySavannahorotherwise--perhaps_want_ustobedestroyed--sothatitmightbewisestforustorefusetomakethedropwhenthesignalcameandhangontothosemyriadsteelcubesasouronlybargainingpoint.Still,Icouldseenoadvantagetorefusing_before_thesignalcame.I'dhavelikedtodiscussthepointwithAliceandmaybePoptoo,butapparentlyeverythingwesaid,evenwhispered,couldbeoverheardbyAtla-Hi.(Weneverdiddetermine,incidentally,whetherAtla-Hicould _see_intothecabinoftheplanealso.Idon'tbelievetheycould,thoughtheysurehaditbuggedforsound.)

Allinall,wefoundoutalmostnothingaboutAtla-Hi.Infact,threewitlessgermstravelinginacabininanironfilingwasn'tabaddescriptionofusatall.AsIoftensayofmydeductivefaculties--think--shmink!ButAtla-Hi(alwaysmeaning,ofcourse,thepersonalitybehindthevoicefromthescreen)foundoutallitwanted

aboutus--andapparentlyknewagooddealtostartwith.Foronething,theymusthavebeentrackingourplaneforsometime,becausetheyguesseditwasonautomaticandthatwecouldreverseitscoursebutnothingelse.ThoughtheyseemedundertheimpressionthatwecouldreverseitscoursetoLosAlamos,notthecrackingplant.HereobviouslyIdidgetanuggetofnewdata,thoughitwasjustabouttheonlyone.Foramomentthevoicefromthescreengotrealunguarded--anxiousasitasked,"DoyouknowifitistruethattheyhavestoppeddyingatLosAlamos,oraretheymerelybroadcastingthattocheerusup?"

Ianswered,"Ohyes,they'reallfine,"tothat,butIcouldn'thavemadeitveryconvincing,becausethenextthingIknewthevoicewasgettingmetoadmitthatwe'donlyboardedtheplanesomewhereinthe

CentralDeathlands.Ievenhadtodescribethecrackingplantandfreewayandgastanks--Icouldn'tthinkofaliethatmightn'tgetusintoasmuchtroubleasthetruth--andthevoicesaid,"Oh,didGraylstaythere?"andIsaid,"Yes,"andbracedmyselftodosomemoreadmitting,orsomeheavylying,astheinspirationtookme.

ButthevoicecontinuedtoskirtaroundthequestionofwhatexactlyhadhappenedtoGrayl.Iguesstheyknewwellenoughwe'dbumpedhimoff,butdidn'tbringitupbecausetheyneededourcooperation--theywerehandlinguslikechildrenorsavages,yousee.

*****

Oneprettyamazingpoint--Atla-HiapparentlyknewsomethingaboutPop'sfairy-talefellowshipofnon-practicingmurderers,becausewhenhehadtospeakup,whilehewasgettinginstructionsonpreparingthestuffforthedrop,thevoicesaid,"Excuseme,butyousoundlikeoneofthoseM.A.boys."

MurderersAnonymous,Pophadsaidsomeoftheirboyscalledtheirunorganizedorganization.

"Yep,Iam,"Popadmitteduncomfortably.



"Well,awordofadvicethen,orperhapsIonlymeangossip,"thescreensaid,foroncegettingonasidetrack."Mostofourpeopledonotbelieveyouareseriousaboutit,althoughyoumaythinkthatyouare.Ourskeptics(whichincludesallbutaveryfewofus)splitquiteevenlybetweenthosewhothinkthattheM.A.spiritisaterminalpsychoticillusionandthosewhobelieveitisanelaborateruseinpreparationforsomeconcertedattackoncitiesbyDeathlanders."

"Can'tsaythatIblametheeitherofthem,"wasPop'sonlycomment."IthinkI'mnutsmyselfandamurdererforever."Aliceglaredathimforthatadmission,butitseemedtodousnodamage.Popreallydidseemoutofhisdepththoughduringthispartofouradventure,moreoutofhisdepththanevenAliceandme--Imean,asifhecouldonlyreallyfunctionintheDeathlandwithDeathlandersandwantedtogetanythingelseoverquickly.

*****

IthinkonereasonPopwasthatwaywasthathewasfeelingveryintenselysomethingIwasfeelingmyself:asortofsadnessandbewildermentthatbeingsassmartasthevoicefromthescreensoundedshouldstillbefightingwars.Murder,asyoumustknowbynow,Icanunderstandandsympathizewithdeeply,butwar?--no!

Oh,Icanunderstandculturalqueersfightingcitysquaresandevengetakickoutofitandwhoop'emon,buttheseAtla-HiandAlamosfolkseemedadifferentsortofcataltogether(thoughI'donlycometothatpointofviewtoday)--thekindofcatthatoughttohaveoutgrownwarorthoughtitswayaroundit.MaybeSavannahFortresshadsimplyforcedthewaronthemandtheyhadtodefendthemselves.Ihadn'tcontactedanySavannans--theymightbeasblood-simpleasthePorterites.Still,Idon'tknowthatit'salwaysagoodexcusethatsomebodyelseforcedyouintowar.Thatsortofjustificationcankeeponuntiltheendoftime.Butwho'sagermtojudge?

AminutelaterIwasfeelingdoublylikeagermandaverylowlyone,

becausethesituationhadjustgotmoredifficultanddepressingtoo--thethinghadhappenedthatIsaidI'dtellyouaboutinduecourse.

ThevoicewasjustrepeatingitsinstructionstoPoponmakingthedrop,whenitbrokeoffofasuddenandasecondvoicecamein,adeepvoicewithasortofEuropeanaccent(notChinese,oddly)--nottalking_to_ us,Ithink,buttothefirstvoiceandoverlookingornotcaringthatwecouldhear.

"_Also_tellthem,"thesecondvoicesaid,"thatwewillblowthemoutoftheskytheinstanttheystopobeyingus!Iftheyshouldhesitatetomakethedroporiftheyshouldputafingeronthebuttonthatreverses

theircourse,then--_pouf!_Suchbrutesunderstandonlythelanguageofforce._Also_warnthemthattheblocksareatomicgrenadesthatwillblowthemoutoftheskytooif--"

"Dr.Kovalsky,willyoupermitmetopointout--"thefirstvoiceinterrupted,gettingasclosetoexpressingirritationasIimagineiteveralloweditselftodo.Thenbothvoicescutoffabruptlyandthescreenwassilentfortensecondsorso.Iguessthefirstvoicethoughtitwasn'tniceforustooverhearAtla-Hibickeringwithitself,evenifthesecondvoicedidn'tgiveadamn(anymorethanafarmerwouldmind



thepigsoverhearinghimsquabblewithhishiredman;ofcoursethisguyseemedtooverlookthatwewerekiller-pigs,buttherewasn'tanythingwecoulddointhatlinejustnowexceptgetburnedup).

Whenthescreencameonagain,itwasjustthefirstvoicetalkingoncemore,butithadsomethingtosaythatwasprobablytheresultofarapidconferenceandcompromise.

"Attention,everyone!Iwishtoinformyouthattheplaneinwhichyouaretravelingcanbeexploded--meltedintheair,rather--ifweactivateacertaincontrolatthisend.Wewill_not_doso,noworsubsequently,ifyoumakethedropwhenwegivethesignalandifyouremainonyourpresentcourseuntilthen.Afterwardsyouwillbeatlibertytoreverseyourcourseandescapeasbestyoumay.Letmere-emphasizethatwhenyoutoldmeyouhadtakenoverforGraylIacceptedthatassertioninfullfaithandstillsoacceptit.Isthatallfullyunderstood?"

Wealltoldhim"Yes,"thoughIdon'timaginewesoundedveryhappyaboutit,evenPop.HoweverIdidgetthatfunnyfeelingagainthatthevoicewasbeingreallysincere--anillusion,Isupposed,butstillacomfortingone.

Nowwhileallthesethingsweregoingon,believeitornot,andwhiletheplanecontinuedtobulletthroughtheorangehaze--whichhadn't

shownanyforeignobjectsinitsofar,thankGod,evenvultures,letalone"straightstringsofpinkstars"--Iwasreceivingacramcourseingunnery!(DoyouwonderIdon'ttrytotellthispartofmystoryconsecutively?)

*****

ItturnedoutthatAlicehadbeenbrilliantlyrightaboutonething:ifyoupushedsomeofthebuttonssimultaneouslyinpatternsoffivetheyunlockedandyoucouldplayonthemlikeorgankeys.Twosetsoffivekeys,playedproperly,wouldrigoutasightjustinfrontoftheviewportandletyouaimandfiretheplane'smainguninanyforwarddirection.Therewasarearwardfiringguntoo,thatyouaimedby

changingovertheWorldScreentoarear-viewTVwindow,butwedidn'tgetaroundtomasteringthatone.Infact,inspiteofmyspecialtalentsitwasallIcoulddotoachieveabeginner'scontroloverthemaingun,andIwouldn'thavemanagedeventhatexceptthatAlice,fromthethinkingshe'dbeendoingaboutpatternsoffive,wasquickatunderstandingfromthevoice'sdescriptionswhichbuttonsweremeant.Shecouldn'tworkthemherselfofcourse,whatwithherstumpandburnthand,butshecouldpointthemoutforme.

AftertwentyminutesofdrillIwasagunnerofsorts,sprawledintheright-handkneelingseatandintentlyscanningtheonrushingorangehazewhichatlastwasbeginningtochangetowardthebronzeofevening.IfsomethingshowedupinitI'dbeabletomakeastabatgettingashot

in.NotthatIknewwhatmygunfired--thevoicewasn'tgivingawayanyunnecessarydata.

NaturallyIhadaskedwhydidn'tthevoiceteachmetoflytheplanesothatIcouldmaneuverincaseofattack,andnaturallythevoicehadtoldmeitwasoutofthequestion--muchtoodifficultandbesidestheywantedusonaknowncoursesotheycouldplanbetterforthedropandrecovery.(Ithinkmaybethevoicewouldhavegivenmesomehints--andmaybeeventoldmemoreaboutthesteelcubestooandhowmuchdangerwewereinfromthem--ifithadn'tbeenforthesecondvoice,which



presumablyhadissuedfromabeingwhowaskeepingwatchtomakesureamongotherthingsthatthefirstvoicedidn'tgetsoft-hearted.)

SothereIwasbeingafrontgunner.Actuallyapartofmewasgettingabigbangoutofit--fromantiqueBanker'sSpecialtoneedlecannon(orwhateveritwas)--butatthesametimeanotherpartofmewasdisgustedwiththeideaofactinglikeIbelongedtoaliveculture(evenasmart,unqueerone)andworkinginawar(evenjustsoastogetoutofitfast),whileathirdpartofme--onethatInormallykeepdown--wasverysimplyhorrified.

Popwasbackbythedoorwiththeboxand'chute,readytomakethedrop.

Alicehadnodutiesforthemoment,butshe'dsuddenlystartedgatheringupfoodcansandpackingtheminonebag--Icouldn'tfigureoutatfirstwhatshehadinmind.Orderlyhousewifewouldn'tbeexactlymydescriptionofheroccupationalpersonality.

Thenofcourseeverythinghadtohappenatonce.

Thevoicesaid,"Makethedrop!"

AlicecrossedtoPopandthrustoutthebagofcanstowardhim,writhing

herlipsinsilent"talk"totellhimsomething.Shehadaknifeinherburnthandtoo.

*****

ButIdidn'thavetimetodoanylip-reading,becausejustthenaglitteringpinkasteriskshowedupinthedarkeninghazeahead--awholehalfdozenstraightlinesspreadingoutfromablankcentralspot,asifasuper-fastgiganticspiderhadlaidinthefirststrandsofitsweb.

Windwhistledasthedooroftheplanestartedtoopen.

Ifoughttocentermysightontheblankcentralspot,whichdrifted

towardtheleft.

Oneofthestraightlinesgrewdazzlinglybright.

IheardAlicewhisperfiercely,"Drop_these_!"andthepartofmymindthatcouldn'tbeappliedtogunneryinstantlydeducedthatshe'dhadsomelast-minuteinspirationaboutdroppingabunchofcansinsteadofthesteelcubes.

Igotthesightcenteredandhelddownthefiringcombo.Thethoughtflashedtome:_it'sacityyou'refiringat,notaplane_,andIflinched.

Thedazzlinglypinklinedippeddowntowardme.

Behindme,thesoundofastruggle.AlicesnarlingandPopgivingagrunt.

ThenallatonceascreamfromAlice,abigwhooshofwind,aflashwayahead(whereI'daimed),aspatterofhotmetalinsidethecabin,ablindingspotinthemiddleoftheWorldScreen,asearingbeaminchesfrommyneck,anelectricshockthatliftedmefrommyseatandrippedatmyconsciousness!



*****

WhenIcameto(ifIreallyeverwasout--secondslater,atmost)therewerenomorepinklines.Thehazewasjustitsdisgustinglytawnyeveningselfwithblackspotsthatwereonlyafter-images.Thecabinstunkofozone,butwindfunnelingthroughaholeintheone-timeWorldScreenwasblowingitoutfastenough--Savannahhadgotteninonelick,allright.Andwewerefalling,theplanewasswingingdownlikeacrippledbird--Icouldfeelitandtherewasnousekiddingmyself.

Butstaringatthecontrolpanelwouldn'tkeepusfromcrashingifthatwasinthecards.IlookedaroundandtherewerePopandAliceglaringateachotheracrosstheclosingdoor.Helookedmean.Shelookedagonizedandwaspressingherburnthandintohersidewithherelbowasifhe'dstampedonthehand,maybe.Ididn'tseeanybloodthough.Ididn'tseetheboxand'chuteeither,thoughIdidseeAlice'sbagofgroceries.IguessedPophadmadethedrop.

Now,itoccurredtome,wasabullytimeforVoiceTwotomelttheplane--ifhehadn'talreadytried.MyfirstthoughthadbeenthatthespatterofhotmetalhadcomefromtheSavannahcraftspittingus,buttherewasnowaytobesure.

Ilookedaroundattheviewportintimetoseerocksandstuntedtreesjumpoutofthehaze._GoodoldRay_,Ithought,_alwaysinatthedeath_.Butjustthentheplanetookasickeningbounce,asifitsantigravityhadonlystartedtooperatewithinyardsoftheground.Anotherlurchingfallandanotherbounce,lessviolent.Acoupleofrepetitionsofthat,eachonealittlegentler,andthenweweresortofbumpingalongonanevenkeelwiththerocksandsuchslidingpastfastaboutahundredfeetbelow,Ijudged.We'dbeenspoiledforaltitudework,itseemed,butwecouldstillcripplealonginsomesortoflow-powerrepulsionfield.

IlookedattheNorthAmericascreenandthebuttons,wonderingifIshouldstartusbackwestagainorleaveussetonAtla-Hiandseewhat

thehellhappened--atthemomentIhardlycaredwhatelseSavannahdidtous.Ineedn'thavewastedthementalenergy.Thedecisionwasmadeforme.AsIwatched,theAtla-Hibuttonjumpedupbyitselfandthebuttonforthecrackingplantwentdownandtherewassomeextrabumpingasweswungaround.

Also,thevioletpatchofAtla-Hiwentrealdimandthebuttonforitnolongerhadavioletnimbus.TheLosAlamosbluewentdulltoo.Thecracking-plantdotglowedabrightergreen--thatwasall.

Allexceptforonething.AsthevioletdimmedIthoughtIheardVoiceOneveryfaintly(notasifspeakingdirectlybutasifthescreenhadheardandremembered--notavoicebutthefluorescentghostofone):

"Thankyouandgoodluck!"

CHAPTER6

_Manyamanhasdatedhisruinfromsomemurderorotherthatperhapshethoughtlittleofatthetime._



--ThomasdeQuincey

"Andalongmerrysiegetoyou,sir,androastratforChristmas!"Iresponded,veryoutloudandrathertomysurprise.

"War!HowIhatewar!"--thatwaswhatPopexplodedwith.Hedidn'texactlydanceinsenilerage--hewasstillkeepingtoosharpawatchonAlice--buthisvoicesoundedthatway.

"Damnyou,Pop!"Alicecontributed."Andyoutoo,Ray!Wemighthavepulledsomething,butyouhadtogoobedience-happy."Thenherangergotthebetterofhergrammar,ormaybePopandmewascorruptingit."Damnthebothofyou!"shefinished.

Itdidn'tmakemuchsense,anyofit.Wewerejustcuttingloose,Iguess,afterbeingscaredtosayanythingforthelasthalfhour.

IsaidtoAlice,"Idon'tknowwhatyoucouldhavepulled,exceptthechainonus."ToPopIremarked,"Youmayhatewar,butyousurehelpedthatonealong.ThosegrenadesyoudroppedwillprobablytakecareofafewhundredSavannans."

"That'swhatyoualwayssayaboutme,isn'tit?"hesnappedback."ButI

don'tsupposeIshouldexpectanykinderinterpretationofmymotives."ToAlicehesaid,"I'msorryIhadtoslapyourburntfingers,sister,butyoucan'tsayIdidn'twarnyouaboutmylow-downtactics."Thentomeagain:"I_do_hatewar,Ray.It'sjustmurderonabiggerscale,thoughsomeoftheboysgivemeanargumentthere."

"Thenwhydon'tyougopreachagainstwarinAtla-HiandSavannah?"Alicedemanded,stillveryhotbutnotquitesobitter.

"Yeah,Pop,howaboutit?"Iseconded.

"MaybeIshould,"hesaid,thoughtfulallatonce."Theysureneedit."Thenhegrinned."Hey,how'dthissound:HEARTHEWORLD-FAMOUSMURDERER

POPTRUMBULLTALKAGAINSTWAR.WEARYOURSTEELTHROATPROTECTORS.Prettygood,hey?"

Wealllaughedatthat,grudginglyatfirst,thenwithatouchofwholeheartedness.Ithinkweallrecognizedthatthingsweren'tgoingtobeverycheerfulfromhereoninandwe'dbetternotturnupournosesatthefeeblestfun.

"IguessIdidn'thaveanythingverybrightinmind,"Aliceadmittedtome,whiletoPopshesaid,"Allright,Iforgiveyouforthepresent."

"Don't!"Popsaidwithashudder."Ihatetothinkofwhathappenedtothelastbuggermadethemistakeofforgivingme."

Welookedaroundandtookstockofourresources.Itwastimewedid.Itwasgettingdarkfast,althoughwewerechasingthesun,andthereweren'tanycabinlightscomingonandwesuredidn'tknowofanywayofgettingany.

WewaddedacoupleofsatchelsintotheholeintheWorldScreenwithouttryingtoprobeit.Afterawhileitgotwarmeragaininthecabinandtheairalittlelessdusty.Presentlyitstartedtogettoosmokyfromthecigaretteswewereburning,butthatcamelater.



Wescrewedoffthewallsthefewstoragebagswehadn'tinspected.Theydidn'tcontainnothingofconsequence,notevenaflashlight.

Ihadonelastgoatthebuttons,thoughthereweren'tanyleftwithnimbusesonthem--thedarkeritgot,theclearerthatwas.EventheAtla-Hibuttonwouldn'tpushnowthatithadlostitsviolethalo.Itriedthegunnerypatterns,figuringtoputinalittletimetakingpotshotsatanymountainsthatturnedup,butthebuttonsthathadbeenrespondingsowellafewminutesagorefusedtobudge.Alicesuggesteddifferentpatterns,butnoneofthemworked.Thatconsolewasreallylocked--maybetheshotfromSavannahwaspartlyresponsible,thoughAtla-Hiremote-lockingthingswasexplanationenough.

"Thebuggers!"Isaid."Theydidn'thavetotieusup_this_tight.Goingeastweatleasthadachoice--forwardorback.Nowwegotnone."

"Maybewe'rejustaswelloff,"Popsaid."IfAtla-Hihadbeenabletodoanythingmoreforus--thatis,iftheyhadn'tbeensiegedin,Imean--they'dsureasanythinghavepulledusin.Pulltheplanein,Imean,andpickedusoutofit--withabigpairoftweezers,likelyasnot.Andcontrarytoyourflatteringopinionofmypreaching(whichbythewaynoneofthereligiousboysinmyoutfitshare--theycallme'thatmisguidedoldatheist'),Idon'tthinknoneofuswouldgoover

bigatAtla-Hi."

*****

Wehadtoagreewithhimthere.Icouldn'timaginePoporAliceorevenmecuttingmuchofafigure(evenifweweren'tmurder-pariahs)withthepackofgeniusesthatseemedtomakeuptheAtla-Alamoscrowd.TheDouble-ARepublics,togivethemaname,mighthavetheirsmall-braintypes,butsomehowIdidn'tthinkso.TheremustbemorethanoneEdison-Einstein,itseemedtome,backofantigravityandallthewondersinthisplaneandtheotherthingswe'dgottenhintsof.Also,Graylhadseemedbredforbrainsaswellassize,evenifussmallmammalshadcookedhisgoose.Andnoneofthemodern"countries"had

morethanafewthousandpopulationyet,Iwasprettysure,andthathardlyleftroomforadumbbellclass.Finally,too,IgotholdofamemoryI'dbeenreachingforthelasthour--howwhenIwasakidI'dreadaboutsomescientistswholearnedtotalkMandarinjustforkicks.ItoldAliceandPop.

"Andif_that's_theaverageAtla-Alamoser'sideaofmentalrecreation,"Isaid,"well,youcanseewhatImean."

"I'llgrantyoutheygotamonopolyofbrains,"Popagreed."Notsense,though,"headdeddoggedly.

"Intellectualsnobs,"wasAlice'scomment."IknowthetypeandIdetest

it."("You_are_sortofintellectual,aren'tyou?"Poptoldher,whichfortunatelydidn'tstartariot.)

Still,Iguessallthreeofusfounditfuntochewoverabitthenewslantwe'dgottenontwo(inaway,three)ofthegreat"countries"ofthemodernworld.(Andaslongaswethoughtofitasfun,wedidn'thavetoadmittheenvyandwistfulnessthatwasbehindourwisecracks.)

Isaid,"We'vealwaysfiguredinageneralwaythatAlamoswastheremainsofacommunityofscientistsandtechnicians.Nowweknowthe



same'strueoftheAtla-Higroup.They'retheBrookhavensurvivors."

"ManhattanProject,don'tyoumean?"Alicecorrected.

"Nope,thatwasinColoradoSprings,"Popsaidwithfinality.

*****

Ialsopointedoutthatacommunityofscientistswouldeducatefortechnicalintelligence,maybebreedforittoo.AndbeingagrouppickedforhighI.Q.tobeginwith,theymightmakestartlinglyfastprogress.Youcouldeasilyimaginesuchfolk,unimpededbytheboobs,creatingawonderworldinacoupleofgenerations.

"Theygottheirtroublesthough,"Popremindedmeandthatledustospeculatingaboutthewarwe'ddippedinto.SavannahFortress,weknew,wassupposedtobebasedonsomebigatomicplantsontheriverdownthatway,butitscultureseemedtohaveafierceringredientthanAtla-Alamos.Beforeweknewitwewere,musingalmostromanticallyabouttheplightofAtla-Hi,besiegedbysuperiorand(itwaseasytosuppose)barbaricforces,andmaybedistantLosAlamosinasimilarpredicament--Aliceremindedmehowthevoicehadaskediftheywerestilldyingoutthere.ForamomentIfoundmyselffiercelyproudthatIhadbeenabletostrikeablowagainstevilaggressors.Atonce,of

course,then,therevulsioncame.

"Thisisahellofaway,"Isaid,"forthreeso-calledrealiststobemooningaboutthings."

"Yes,especiallywhenyourheroeskickedusout,"Aliceagreed.

Popchuckled."Yep,"hesaid,"theyeventookRay'sartilleryawayfromhim."

"You'rewrongthere,Pop,"Isaid,sittingup."Istillgotoneofthegrenades--theonethepilothadinhisfist."TotellthetruthI'dforgottenallaboutitanditbotheredmealittlenowtofeelit

snuggedupinmypocketagainstmyhipbonewheretheskinisthin.

"YoubelievewhatthatoldDutchmansaidaboutthesteelcubesbeingatomicgrenades?"Popaskedme.

"Idon'tknow,"Isaid,"Hesuredidn'tsoundenthusiasticabouttellingusthetruthaboutanything.Butforthatmatterhesoundedmeanenoughtotellthetruthfiguringwe'dthinkitwasalie.Maybethis_is_somesortofbabyA-bombwithafusetimedlikeagrenade."Igotitoutandheftedit."HowaboutIpressthebuttonanddropitoutthedoor?Thenwe'llknow."Ireallyfeltlikedoingit--restless,Iguess.

"Don'tbeafool,Ray,"Alicesaid.

"Don'ttenseup,Iwon't,"Itoldher.AtthesametimeImademyselfthelittlepromisethatifIevergottofeelingrestless,thatis,restlessand_bad_,I'djustgoaheadandpunchthebuttonandseewhathappened--sortofleavemyfutureuptothegodsoftheDeathlands,youmightsay.

"Whatmakesyousosureit'saweapon?"Popasked.

"Whatelsewoulditbe,"Iaskedhim,"thatthey'dbesohotongetting



theminthemiddleofawar?"

"Idon'tknowforsure,"Popsaid."I'vemadeaguess,butIdon'twanttotellitnow.WhatI'mgettingat,Ray,isthatyourfirstthoughtaboutanythingyoufind--intheworldoutsideorinyourownmind--isthatit'saweapon."

"Anythingworthwhileinyourmindisaweapon!"Aliceinterjectedwithsurprisingintensity.

"Yousee?"Popsaid."That'swhatImeanaboutthebothofyou.Thatsortofthinking'sbeengoingonalongtime.Cavemanpicksuparockandrightawayaskshimself,'WhocanIbrainwiththis?'Doesn'toccurtohimforseveralhundredthousandyearstouseittostartbuildingahospital."

"Youknow,Pop,"Isaid,carefullytuckingthecubebackinmypocket,"you_are_sortofpreachyattimes."

"GuessIam,"hesaid."Howaboutsomegrub?"

*****

Itwasagoodidea.Anotherfewminutesandwewouldn'thavebeenable

toseetoeat,thoughwiththecansshapedtotelltheircontentsIguesswe'dhavemanaged.Itwasafunnycircumstancethatinthiswonderplanewedidn'tevenknowhowtoturnonthelight--andagoodmeasureofourgeneralhelplessness.

*****

Wehadourlittlefeedandlitupagainandsettledourselves.Ijudgeditwouldbeanovernighttrip,atleasttothecrackingplant--weweren'tmakinganythinglikethespeedwehadbeengoingeast.PopwassittinginbackagainandAliceandIlayhalfhitchedaroundonthekneelingseats,whichallowedustowatcheachother.Prettysoonitgotsodarkwecouldn'tseeanythingofeachotherbuttheglowingtipsof

thecigarettesandabitoffacearoundthemouthwhenthepersontookadeepdrag.Theywereagoodidea,thosecigarettes--keptusfromhavingideasabouttheotherpersonstartingtocreeparoundwithaknifeinhishand.

TheNorthAmericascreenstillgloweddimlyandwecouldwatchourgreendottryingtomakeprogress.Theviewportwasdeadblackatfirst,thentherecamethefaintestsortofbronzeblotchthatveryslowlyshiftedforwardanddown.TheOldMoon,ofcourse,goingwestaheadofus.

AfterawhileIrealizedwhatitwaslike--anoldPullmancar(I'dtraveledinoneonceasakid)orespeciallythesmokerofanoldPullman,verylateatnight.Ourcrippledantigravity,workingonthe

irregularitiesofthegroundastheycamealongbelow,madetheriderhythmicallybumpy,yousee.Irememberedhowlonelyandstrangethatoldsleepingcarhadseemedtomeasakid.Thisfeltthesame.Ikeptwaitingforahootorawhistle.Itwasthesortoflonelinessthatsettlesinyourbonesandkeepsworkingatyou.

"IrecallthefirstmanIeverkilled--"Popstartedtoreminiscesoftly.

"Shutup!"Alicetoldhim."Don'tyouevertalkaboutanythingbut



murder,Pop?"

"Guessnot,"hesaid."Afterall,it'stheonlyreallyinterestingtopicthereis.Doyouknowofanother?"

Itwassilentinthecabinforalongtimeafterthat.ThenAlicesaid,"Itwastheafternoonbeforemytwelfthbirthdaywhentheycameintothekitchenandkilledmyfather.He'dbeenwise,inaway,andhaduslivingataspotwherethebombsdidn'ttouchusortheworstfallout.Buthehadn'tcountedonthelocalwerewolfgang.He'djustbeenslicingsomebread--homemadefromourownwheat(Dadwasgreatonbacktonatureandall)--buthelaiddowntheknife.

"Dadcouldn'tseeanyobjectorideaasaweapon,yousee--thatwashisgreatweakness.Dadcouldn'tevenseeweaponsasweapons.Dadhadaphilosophyofcooperation,thatwashisnameforit,thathewasgoingtoexplaintopeople.SometimesIthinkhewasgladoftheLastWar,becausehebelieveditwouldgivehimhischance.

"Butthewerewolvesweren'tinterestedinphilosophyandalthoughtheirknivesweren'tassharpasDad'stheydidn'tlaythemdown.Afterwardstheyhadthemselvesameal,withmefordessert.Irememberoneofthemusedasliceofbreadtosopupbloodlikegravy.Andanotherwashedhishandsandfaceinthecoldcoffee..."

Shedidn'tsayanythingelseforabit.Popsaidsoftly,"Thatwastheafternoon,wasn'tit,thatthefallenangels..."andthenjustsaid,"Mybigmouth."

"Youweregoingtosay'theafternoontheykilledGod?'"Aliceaskedhim."You'reright,itwas.TheykilledGodinthekitchenthatafternoon.That'showIknowhe'sdead.Afterwardstheywouldhavekilledmetoo,eventually,except--"

*****

Againshebrokeoff,thistimetosay,"Pop,doyousupposeIcanhave

beenthinkingaboutmyselfastheDaughterofGodalltheseyears?Thatthat'swhyeverythingseemssointense?"

"Idon'tknow,"Popsaid."Thereligiousboyssaywe'reallchildrenofGod.Idon'tputmuchstockinit--orelseGodsurehassomelousychildren.Goonwithyourstory."

"Well,theywouldhavekilledmetoo,excepttheleadertookafancytomeandgottheideaoftrainingmeupforaWeregirlorShe-wolfDeborwhatevertheycalledit."

"Thatwasmyfirstexperienceofideasasweapons.HegotanideaaboutmeandIusedittokillhim.Ihadtowaitthreemonthsformy

opportunity.Igothimsolazyheletmeshavehim.HebledtodeaththesamewayasDad."

"Hum,"Popcommentedafterabit,"thatwasachiller,allright.IgottoremembertotellittoBill--itwassomebodykillinghismotherthatgot_him_started.Alice,youhadaboutasgoodajustificationforyourfirstmurderasanyIrememberhearing."

"Yet,"Alicesaidafteranotherpause,withjustatraceoftheoldsarcasmcreepingbackintohervoice,"Idon'tsupposeyouthinkIwas



righttodoit?"

"Right?Wrong?Whoknows?"Popsaidalmostblusteringly."Sureyouwerejustifiedinawholepackofways.Anybody'dsympathizewithyou.Amanoftenhasfinejustificationforthefirstmurderhecommits.Butasyoumustknow,it'snotthatthefirstmurder'salwayssobadinitselfasthatit'sapttostartyouonakillingspree.Yoursenseofvaluesgetsshiftedatinybitandnevershiftsback.ButyouknowallthatandwhoamItotellyouanything,anyway?I'vekilledmenbecauseIdidn'tlikethewaytheyspit.AndmayverywelldoitagainifIdon'tkeepwatchingmyselfandmymindventilated."

"Well,Pop,"Alicesaid,"Ididn'talwayshavesuchdandyjustificationformykillings.Lastonewasamoonyoldphysicist--hefixedmetheGeigercounterIcarry.Asillyoldgeek--Idon'tknowhowhesurvivedsolong.Maybeanexileorarunaway.Youknow,Ioftenattachmyselftotheelderlydo-goodertypelikemyfatherwas.Orlikeyou,Pop."

Popnodded."It'sgoodtoknowyourself,"hesaid.

*****

Therewasathirdpauseandthen,althoughIhadn'texactlybeenintendingto,Isaid,"Alicehadjustificationforherfirstmurder,

personaljustificationthatanapewouldunderstand.Ihadnopersonaljustificationatallformine,yetIkilledaboutamillionpeopleatamodestestimate.Yousee,IwasthebossofthecrewthattookcareofthehydrogenmissileticketedforMoscow,andwhentheticketwasfinallytakenupIwastheonetopunchit.Myfingeronthefiringbutton,Imean."

Iwenton,"Yeah,Pop,Iwasoneofthebutton-pushers.Therewerereallyquiteafewofus,ofcourse--that'swhyIgetsuchalaughoutofstoriesaboutbeingorrubbingoutthe_one_guywhopushedallthebuttons."

"Thatso?"Popsaidwithonlymild-soundinginterest."Inthatcaseyou

oughttoknow--"

Wedidn'tgettohearrightthenwhoIoughttoknowbecauseIhadafitofcoughingandwerealizedthecigarettesmokewasgettingjusttoothick.Popfixedthedoorsoitwasopenacrackandafterawhiletheatmospheregotreasonablyokaythoughwehadtoputupwithalowlonelywhistlingsound.

"Yeah,"Icontinued,"IwasthebossofthemissilecrewandIworeaveryhandsomeuniformwithimpressiveinsignia--notthebullyoldstripesIgotonmychestnow--andIwasveryyoungandhandsomemyself.Wewereallveryyounginthatlineofservice,thoughafewofthemenundermewerealittleolder.Younganddedicated.Irememberfeelinga

verydeepandgrim--and_clean_--responsibility.ButIwondersometimesjusthowdeepitwentorhowcleanitreallywas.

"Ihadanuncleflewinthewartheyfoughttolickfascism,bombardieronaFlyingFortressorsomething,andoncewhenhegotdrunkhetoldmehowsomedaysitdidn'tbotherhimatalltodroptheeggsonGermany;thebuildingsandpeopledownthereseemedjustliketoysthatakidsetsuptokickover,andthewholebusinessaboutasnaivefunaspokingananthill.



"_I_didn'tevenhavetoflyoveratsevenmileswhatIwasgoingtobeaimingat.OnlyIremembersometimesgettingoutamapandlookingatacertainlargedotonitandsmilingalittleandsoftlysaying,'Pow!'--andthengivingalittleconventionalshudderandfoldingupthemapquick.

"Naturallywetoldourselveswe'dneverhavetodoit,firethething,Imean,wejokedabouthowaftertwentyyearsorsowe'dallbegivenjobsasmuseumattendantsofthissamebomb,deactivatedatlast.Butnaturallyitdidn'tworkoutthatway.TherecamethedaywhenoursideoftheworldgothitandtheordersstartedcascadingdownfromDefenseCoordinatorBigelow--"

"Bigelow?"Popinterrupted."NotJoeBigelow?"

"JosephA.,Ibelieve,"Itoldhim,alittleannoyed.

"Whyhe'smyboythen,theoneIwastellingyouabout--theskinnyrunthadthishorn-handle!Canyoubeatthat?"Popsoundedstartlinglyhappy."Himandyou'llhavealottotalkaboutwhenyougettogether."

Iwasn'tsosureofthatmyself,infactmyfirstreactionwasthattheoppositewouldbetrue.TobehonestIwasforthefirstmomentmorethanalittleannoyedatPopinterruptingmystoryofmyBigGrief--for

itwasthattome,makenomistake.Heremystoryhadfinallybeenteasedoutofme,againstallexpectation,afterdecadesofrepressionandinspiteofdozensofassortedpsychologicalblocks--andherewasPopinterruptingitforthesakeofalotoftrivialorganizationalgossipaboutJoesandBillsandGeorgeswe'dneverheardofandwhatthey'dsayorthink!

ButthenallofasuddenIrealizedthatIdidn'treallycare,thatitdidn'tfeellikeaBigGriefanymore,thatjuststartingtotellaboutitafterhearingPopandAlicetelltheirstorieshadpurgeditofthatunnecessaryweightoffeelingthathadmadeitamillstonearoundmyneck.ItseemedtomenowthatIcouldlookdownatRayBakerfromaconsiderableheight(butnotanangelicorcontemptuouslysuperior

height)andaskmyself_not_whyhehadgrievedsomuch--thatwasunderstandableandevendesirable--butwhyhehadgrievedso_uselessly_ insuchastuffylittleprivatehell.

Andit_would_beinterestingtofindouthowJosephA.Bigelowhadfelt.

"Howdoesitfeel,Ray,tokillamillionpeople?"

*****

IrealizedthatAlicehadaskedmethequestionseveralsecondsbackanditwashangingintheair.

"That'sjustwhatI'vebeentryingtotellyou,"Itoldherandstartedtoexplainitalloveragain--thewordspouredoutofmenow.Iwon'tputthemdownhere--itwouldtaketoolong--buttheywerehonestwordsasfarasIknewandtheyeasedme.

Icouldn'tgetoverit:herewereusthreemurderersfeelingatrustandunderstandingandsharingacommunionthatIwouldn'thavebelievedpossiblebetween_any_twoorthreepeopleintheAgeoftheDeaders--orin_any_age,totellthetruth.ItwasagainsteverythingIknewof



Deathlandpsychology,butitwashappeningjustthesame.Oh,ourstrangeisolationhadsomethingtodowithit,Iknew,andthatPullman-carmemoryhypnotizingmymind,andourreactionstothevoicesandviolenceofAtla-Alamos,butinspiteofallthatIrankeditasawonder.IfeltaninwardfreedomandeasinessthatIneverwouldhavebelievedpossible.Pop'slittledisorganizedorganizationhadreallygotholdofsomething,Icouldn'tdenyit.

*****

Threetreacherouskillerstalkingfromthebottomsoftheirheartsandbelievingeachother!--foritneveroccurredtometodoubtthatPopandAlicewerefeelingexactlylikeIwas.Infact,wewereallsosureofitthatwedidn'tevenmentionourcommuniontoeachother.Perhapswewerealittleafraidwewouldruboffthebloom.Wejustenjoyedit.

Wemusthavetalkedaboutathousandthingsthatnightandsmokedacoupleofhundredcigarettes.Afterawhilewestartedtakinglittlecatnaps--we'dgottentoomuchoffourchestsandcometofeeltootranquilforevenourexcitementtokeepusawake.IrememberthefirsttimeIdozedwakingupwithacoldstartandgrabbingforMother--andthenhearingPopandAlicegabbinginthedark,andrememberingwhathadhappened,andrelaxingagainwithasmile.

Ofallthings,Popwassaying,"Yep,IimagineRaymustbegoodtomakeloveto,murderersalmostalwaysare,theygotthefire.ItremindsmeofwhataguynamedFredtoldme,oneofourboys..."

Mostlywetookturnsgoingtosleep,thoughIthinkthereweretimeswhenallthreeofusweresnoozing.AboutthefifthtimeIwokeup,aftersometightershut-eye,theorangesoupwasbackagainoutsideandAlicewassnoringgentlyinthenextseatandPopwasupandhadoneofhisknivesout.

Hewaslookingathisreflectionintheviewport.Hisfacegleamed.Hewasrubbingbutterintoit.

"Anotherday,anotherpackoftroubles,"hesaidcheerfully.

Thetoneofhisremarkjangledmynerves,asthattonegenerallydoesearlyinthemorning.Isqueezedmyeyes."Wherearewe?"Iasked.

HepokedhiselbowtowardtheNorthAmericascreen.Thetwogreendotswerealmostone.

"MyGod,we'repracticallythere,"Alicesaidforme.She'dwakedfast,Deathlandsstyle.

"Iknow,"Popsaid,concentratingonwhathewasdoing,"butIaimtobeshavedbeforetheycommencelandingmaneuvers."

"Youthinkautomaticwilllandus?"Aliceasked."Whatifwejuststartcirclingaround?"

"Wecanfigureoutwhattodowhenithappens,"Popsaid,whittlingawayathischin."Untilthen,I'mnotinterested.There'sstillacoupleofbottlesofcoffeeinthesack.I'vehadmine."

Ididn'tjoininthischit-chatbecausethegreendotsandAlice'sfirstremarkhadremindedmeofalotdeeperreasonformyjanglednervesthan



Pop'scheerfulness.Nightwasgone,withitsshieldingcloakanditsfeelingofbeingabletotalkforever,andthenakeddaywashere,withitsdemandsforaction.Itisnotsodifficulttochangeyourwholeviewoflifewhenyouareflying,orevenbumpingalongabovethegroundwithfriendswhounderstand,butsoon,Iknew,I'dbedowninthedustwithsomethingIneverwantedtoseeagain.

"Coffee,Ray?"

"Yeah,Iguessso."ItookthebottlefromAliceandwonderedwhethermyfacelookedasglumashers.

"Theyshouldn'tsaltbutter,"Popasserted."Itmakesitlousyforshaving."

"Itwasthe_best_butter,"Alicesaid.

"Yeah,"Isaid."TheDormouse,whentheybutteredthewatch."

Itmaybetruethatfeeblehumorisbetterthannone.Idon'tknow.

"Whatareyoutwoyakkingabout?"Popdemanded.

"Abookwebothread,"Itoldhim.

"Eitherofyouwriters?"Popaskedwithsuddeninterest."Someoftheboysthinkweshouldhaveabookaboutus.Isayit'stoosoon,buttheysaywemightalldieofforsomething.Whoa,Jenny!Easydoesit.Gently,please!"

Thatlastremarkwasbywayofrecognizingthattheplanehadstartedanauthoritativeturntotheleft.Igotasickandcoldfeeling.Thiswasit.

Popsheathedhisknifeandgavehisfaceafinalrub.Alicebeltedonhersatchel.Ireachedformyknapsack,butIwasstaringthroughtheviewport,deadahead.

Thehazelightenedfaintly,threetimes.IrememberedtheSt.Elmo'sfirethathadflamedfromthecrackingplant.

"Pop,"Isaid--almostwhined,tobetruthful,"why'dthebuggereverhavetolandhereinthefirstplace?HewasrushingstufftheyneededbadatAtla-Hi--why'dhehavetobreakhistrip?"

"That'seasy,"Popsaid."Hewasbeingabadboy.Atleastthat'smytheory.HewassupposedtogostraighttoAtla-Hi,buttherewassomebodyhewantedtocheckuponfirst.Hestoppedheretoseehisgirlfriend.Yep,hisgirlfriend.Shetriedtowarnhimoff--that'smyexplanationofthejuicethatflaredoutofthecrackingplantand

interferedwithhislanding,thoughI'msureshedidn'tintendthelast.Bytheway,whateversheturnedontogivehimthewarningmuststillbeturnedon.ButGraylcameondowninspiteofit."

*****

BeforeIcouldassimilatethat,thesevendeformedgastanksmaterializedinthehaze.Wegotthefreewayinoursightsandsteadiedandslowedandkeptslowing.Theplanedidn'tgrazethecrackingplantthistime,thoughI'dhaveswornitwasgoingtohititheadon.WhenI



sawwe_weren't_goingtohitit,Iwantedtoshutmyeyes,butIcouldn't.

ThestainwasblacknowandthePilot'sbodywasthickerthanIremembered--bloated.Butthatwouldn'tlastlong.Threeorfourvultureswereworkingonit.

CHAPTER7

_Herenowinhistriumphwhereallthingsfalter,Stretchedoutonthespoilsthathisownhandspread,Asagodself-slainonhisownstrangealtar,Deathliesdead._

--AForsakenGarden,_byCharlesSwinburne_

Popwasfirstdown.BetweenuswehelpedAlice.BeforejoiningthemItookalastlookatthecontrolpanel.Thecrackingplantbuttonwasupagainandtherewasabluenimbusonanotherbutton.ForLosAlamos,I

supposed.Iwastemptedtopushitandgetawaysolo,butthenIthought,_nope,there'snothingformeattheotherendandthelonelinesswillbeworsethanwhatIgottofacehere_.Iclimbedout.

Ididn'tlookatthebody,althoughwewerepracticallyontopofit.Isawalittlepatchofsilverofftoonesideandrememberedthegunthathadmelted.Thevultureshadwaddledoffbutonlyafewyards.

"Wecouldkillthem,"AlicesaidtoPop.

"Why?"heresponded."Didn'tsomeHindususethemtotakecareofdeadbodies?Notabadidea,either."

"Parsees,"Aliceamplified.

"Yep,Parsees,that'swhatImeant.Giveyouanicecleanskeletoninamatterofdays."

Popwasleadinguspastthebodytowardthecrackingplant.Iheardthefliesbuzzingloudly.Ifeltterrible.Iwantedtobedeadmyself.JustwalkingalongafterPopwasanawfuleffort.

"Hisgirlwasrunningahiddenobservationtowerhere,"Popwassayingnow."Weatherandallthat,Isuppose.Ormaybesettinguparobotstationofsomekind.Icouldn'ttellyouaboutherbefore,becauseyouwerebothinamoodtotrytoruboutanybodyremotelyconnectedwith

thePilot.Infact,Ididmybesttoleadyouastray,lettingyouthinkI'dbeentheonetoscreamandall.Evennow,tobehonestaboutit,Idon'tknowifI'mdoingtherightthingtellingandshowingyouallthis,butaman'sgottotakesomeriskswhateverhedoes."

"Say,Pop,"Isaiddully,"isn'tsheapttotakeashotatusorsomething?"NotthatI'dhavemindedonmyownaccount."Orareyouandherthatgoodfriends?"

"Nope,Ray,"hesaid,"shedoesn'tevenknowme.ButIdon'tthinkshe's



inapositiontodoanyshooting.You'llseewhy.Hey,shehasn'tevenshutthedoor.That'sbad."

Heseemedtobereferringtoakindofmanholecoverstandingonitsedgejustinsidetheopen-walledfirststoryofthecrackingplant.Hekneltandlookeddowntheholethecoverwasdesignedtocloseoff.

"Well,atleastshedidn'tcollapseatthebottomoftheshaft,"hesaid."Comeon,let'sseewhathappened."Andheclimbedintotheshaft.

Wefollowedhimlikezombies.Atleastthat'showIfelt.Theshaftwasabouttwentyfeetdeep.Therewerefoot-andhand-holds.Itgotstuffyrightaway,andwarmer,inspiteoftheshaftbeingopenatthetop.

Atthebottomtherewasashorthorizontalpassage.Wehadtoducktogetthroughit.Whenwecouldstraightenupwewereinalargeandluxuriousbomb-resistantdugout,togiveitaname.Anditwasstuffierandhotterthanever.

Therewasalotofscientificequipmentaroundandseveralsmallcontrolpanelsremindingmeoftheoneinthebackoftheplane.Someofthem,Isupposed,connectedwithinstruments,weatherandotherwise,hiddenupintheskeletalstructureofthecrackingplant.Andthereweresignsofoccupancy,ayoungwoman'soccupancy--clothesscatteredaroundina

frivolousway,andsomesmallobjectsofart,andaslightlymorethanlife-sizeheadinclaythatIguessedtheoccupantmusthavebeensculpting.Ididn'tgivethatlastmorethanthemostfleetinglook,strictlyunintentionaltobeginwith,becausealthoughitwasn'tfinishedIcouldtellwhoseheaditwassupposedtobe--thePilot's.

*****

Thewholeplacewasfinishedindullsilverlikethecabinoftheplane,andlikewiseitinstantlystruckmeashavingalivingpersonality,partlythePilot'sandpartlysomeoneelse's--thepersonalityofamarriage.Whichwasn'tabitnice,becausethewholeplacesmeltofdeath.

ButtotellthetruthIdidn'tgivetheplacemorethanthequickestlook-over,becausemyattentionwasrivettedalmostatonceonalongwidecouchwiththecoverskickedoffitandonthebodythere.

Thewomanwasaboutsixfeettallandbuiltlikeagoddess.Herhairwasblondeandherskintanned.Shewaslyingonherstomachandshewasnaked.

Shedidn'tcomeanywherenearmylibido,though.Shelookedsicktodeath.Herface,twistedtowardsus,washollow-cheekedandflushed.Hereyes,closed,weresunkenanddark-circled.Shewasbreathingshallowlyandrapidlythroughheropenmouth,gaspingnowandthen.

Igotthecrazyimpressionthatalltheheatintheplacewascomingfromherbody,radiatingfromherfever.

Andthewholeplacestunkofdeath.HonestlyitseemedtomethatthisdugoutwasDeath'sundergroundtemple,thebedDeath'saltar,andthewomanDeath'ssacrifice.(HadIunconsciouslycometoworshipDeathasagodintheDeathlands?Idon'treallyknow.Thereitgetstoodeepforme.)



No,shedidn'tcomewithinamillionmilesofmylibido,buttherewasanotherpartofmethatshewaseatingat...

Ifguilt'saluxury,thenI'maplutocrat.

...eatingatuntilIwasanemptyshell,untilIhadnopropsleft,untilIwantedtodiethenandthere,untilIfiguredIhadtodie...

Therewasafaintsharphissrightatmyelbow.Ilookedandfoundthat,unbeknownsttomyself,I'dtakenthesteelcubeoutofmypocketandholdingitsnuggledbetweenmyfirstandsecondfingersI'dpunchedthebuttonwithmythumbjustasI'dpromisedmyselfIwouldifIgottoreallyfeelingbad.

Itgoestoshowyouthatyoushouldnevergiveyourmindanykindofinstructionsevenhalfinfun,unlessyou'repreparedtohavethemcarriedoutwhetheryouapprovelaterornot.

PopsawwhatI'ddoneandlookedatmestrangely."Soyouhadtodieafterall,Ray,"hesaidsoftly."Mostofusfindoutwehaveto,onewayoranother."

Wewaited.Nothinghappened.Inoticedaveryfaintmilkycloudafewinchesacrosshangingintheairbythecube.

Thinkingrightawayofpoisongas,Ijerkedawayalittle,dispersingthecloud.

"What'sthat?"Idemandedofnooneinparticular.

"I'dsay,"saidPop,"thatthat'ssomethingthatsquirtedoutofatinyholeinthesideofthecubeoppositethebutton.Aholesonearlymicroscopicyouwouldn'tseeitunlessyoulookedforithard.Ray,Idon'tthinkyou'regoingtogetyourbabyA-blast,andwhat'smoreI'mafraidyou'vewastedsomethingthat'sdamnvaluable.Butdon'tletitworryyou.BeforeIdroppedthosecubesforAtla-HiIsnaggedone."

Anddarnifhedidn'tpullthebrotherofmycubeoutofhispocket.

"Alice,"hesaid,"Inoticedahalfpintofwhiskeyinyoursatchelwhenwegotthesalve.Wouldyouputsomeonaragandhandittome."

Alicelookedathimlikehewasnuts,butwhilehereyeswerelookingherpliersandherglovedhandweredoingwhathetoldher.

Poptooktheragandswabbedaspotonthesickwoman'snearestbuttockandjammedthecubeagainstthespotandpushedthebutton.

"It'sajethypodermic,folks,"hesaid.

Hetookthecubeawayandtherewasthewelttosubstantiatehisstatement.

"Hopewegottoherintime,"hesaid."Theplagueistough.NowIguessthere'snothingforustodobutwait,maybeforquiteawhile."

Ifeltshakenbeyondallrecognition.

*****



"Pop,youoldcavemandetective!"Iburstout."Whendidyougetthatideaforasteelhospital?"Don'tthinkIwasfeelinganywherenearthatgay.Itwasreaction,closetohysterical.

Popwastakenaback,butthenhegrinned."IhadacoupleofcluesthatyouandAlicedidn't,"hesaid."Iknewtherewasaverysickwomaninvolved.AndIhadthatboutwithLosAlamosfeverItoldyou.They'vehadalotoftroublewithit,Ibelieve--somesayitssporescomefromoutsidetheworldwiththecosmicdust--andnowitseemstohavebeencarriedtoAtla-Hi.Let'shopethey'vefoundtheanswerthistime.Alice,maybewe'dbetterstartgettingsomewaterintothisgal."

Afterawhilewesatdownandfittedthefactstogethermoreorderly.Popdidthefittingmostly.Alamosresearchersmusthavebeenworkingforyearsontheplagueasitravagedintermittently,maybewithmutationsandETtrickstomakethejobharder.Veryrecentlythey'dfoundapromisingtreatment(cure,wehoped)andprepareditforrushshipmenttoAtla-Hi,wheretheplaguewasragingtooandtheyweresiegedinbySavannahaswell.Graylwaspickedtoflytheserum,ordrugorwhateveritwas.Buthekneworguessedthatthislonewomanobserver(becauseshe'dfallenoutofradiocommunicationorsomething)hadcomedownwiththeplaguetooandhedecidedtolandsomeserumforher,probablywithoutauthorization.

"Howdoweknowshe'shisgirlfriend?"Iasked.

"Orwife,"Popsaidtolerantly."Why,therewasthatbagofwoman'sstuffhewascarrying,frillythingslikeamanwouldbringforawoman.Whoelse'dhebeapttomakeaspecialstopfor?

"Anotherthing,"Popsaid."Hemusthavebeenusingjetstohurryhistrip.Weheardthem,youknow."

Thatseemedaboutascloseareconstructionofeventsaswecouldget.Strictlyhypothetical,ofcourse.Deathlanderstryingtofigureoutwhatgoesoninsidea"country"likeAtla-Alamosand_why_aresortoflikefoxestryingtounderstandworldpolitics,orwolvestheGothic

migrations.Ofcoursewe'reallhumanbeings,butthatdoesn'tmeanasmuchasitsounds.

*****

ThenPoptoldushowhe'dhappenedtobeonthescene.He'dbeendoinga"tourofduty",ashecalledit,whenhespottedthiswoman'sobservatoryanddecidedtohangaroundanonymouslyandwatchoverherforafewdaysandmaybehelpprotectherfromsomedangerouscharactersthatheknewwereintheneighborhood.

"Pop,thatsoundslikealousyideatome,"Iobjected."Risky,Imean.Spyingonanotherperson,watchingthemwithouttheirknowing,wouldbe

thesurestwaytostirupinmetheideaofmurderingthem.Safestthingformetodointhatsituationwouldbetoturnaroundandrun."

"_You_probablyshould,"heagreed."Fornow,anyway.It'sallamatterofknowingyourownstrengthandstageofgrowth.Me,ithelpstogivemyselftheselittlejobs.Andtheessenceof'emisthattheotherpersonshouldn'tknowI'mhelping."

ItsoundedlikeknighthoodandpilgrimageandtheBoyScoutsalloveragain--formurderers.Well,whynot?



Pophadseenthiswomancomeoutofthemanholeacoupleoftimesandlookaroundandthengobackdownandhe'dgottheimpressionshewassickandtroubled.He'devenguessedshemightbecomingdownwithAlamosfever.He'dseenusarrive,ofcourse,andthathadbotheredhim.Thenwhentheplanelandedshe'dcomeupagain,actingoutofherhead,butwhenshe'dseenthePilotandusgoingforhimshe'dgiventhatscreamandcollapsedatthetopoftheshaft.He'dfiguredtheonlythinghecoulddoforherwaskeepusoccupied.Besides,nowthatheknewforsureweweremurderershe'dstartedtoburnwiththedesiretotalktousandmaybehelpusquitkillingifweseemedtowantto.Itwasonlymuchlater,inthemiddleofourtrip,thathebegantosuspectthatthesteelcubeswerejethypodermics.

WhilePophadbeentellingusallthis,wehadn'tbeenwatchingthewomansoclosely.NowAlicecalledourattentiontoher.Herskinwascoveredwithfinebeadsofperspiration,likediamonds.

"That'sagoodsign,"PopsaidandAlicestartedtowipeheroff.WhileshewasdoingthatthewomancametoinagroggysortofwayandPopfedhersomethinsoupandinthemiddleofhisdoingitshedroppedofftosleep.

Alicesaid,"AnyothertimeIwouldbewildtokillanotherwomanthat

beautiful.ButshehasbeensoclosetodeaththatIwouldfeelIwasrobbinganothermurderer.Isupposethereismorebehindthechangeinmyfeelingsthanthat,though."

"Yeah,alittle,Isuppose,"Popsaid.

Ididn'thaveanythingtosayaboutmyownfeelings.Certainlynotoutloud.Iknewthattheyhadchangedandthattheywerestillchanging.Itwascomplicated.

AfterawhileitoccurredtomeandAlicetoworrywhetherwemightn'tcatchthiswoman'ssickness.Itwouldserveusright,ofcourse,butplagueisplague.ButPopreassuredus."ActuallyIsnaggedthree

cubes,"hesaid."Thatshouldtakecareofyoutwo.IfigureI'mimmune."

Timeworeon.Popdraggedouttheharmonica,asI'dbeenafraidhewould,buthisplayingwasn'ttoobad."TentingTonight,""WhenJohnnieComesMarchingHome,"andsuch.Wehadameal.

ThePilot'swomanwokeupagain,inherfullmindthistimeorsomethinglikeit.Wewereclusteredaroundthebed,smilingalittleIsupposeandlookinginquiring.Beingevenassistantnursesmakesyouallconcernedaboutthepatient'shealthandstateofmind.

Pophelpedhersitupalittle.Shelookedaround.ShesawmeandAlice.

Recognitioncameintohereyes.Shedrewawayfromuswithalookofloathing.Shedidn'tsayaword,butthelookstayed.

Popdrewmeasideandwhispered,"IthinkitwouldbeanicegestureifyouandAlicetookablanketandwentupandsewedhimintoit.Inoticedabigneedleandsomethreadinhersatchel."Helookedmeintheeyeandadded,"Youcan'texpectthiswomantofeelanyotherwaytowardyou,youknow.Noworever."

Hewasrightofcourse.IgaveAlicethehighsignandwegotout.



Nopointindwellingonthenextscene.Aliceandmesewedupinablanketabigguywho'dbeendeadadayandworkedoverbyvultures.That'sall.

Aboutthetimewe'dfinished,Popcameup.

"Shechasedmeout,"heexplained."She'sgettingdressed.WhenItoldherabouttheplane,shesaidshewasgoingbacktoLosAlamos.She'snotfittotravel,ofcourse,butshe'sgivingherselfinjections.It'snoneofourbusiness.Incidentally,shewantstotakethebodybackwithher.Itoldherhowwe'ddroppedtheserumandhowyouandAlicehadhelpedandshelistened."

ThePilot'swomanwasn'tlongafterPop.Shemusthavehadtroublegettinguptheshaft,shehadalittletroubleevenwalkingstraight,butsheheldherheadhigh.Shewaswearingadullsilvertunicandsandalsandcloak.AsshepassedmeandAliceIcouldseethelookofloathingcomebackintohereyes,andherchinwentalittlehigher.Ithought,whyshouldn'tshewantusdead?Rightnowsheprobablywantstobedeadherself.

Popnoddedtousandwehoistedupthebodyandfollowedher.Itwasalmosttooheavyaloadevenforthethreeofus.

Asshereachedtheplaneasilverladdertelescopeddowntoherfrombelowthedoor.Ithought,_thePilotmusthavehaditkeyedtohersomeway,soitwouldletdownforherbutnobodyelse.Averylovelygesture._

Theladderwentupafterherandwemanagedtoliftthebodyaboveourheads,ourarmsstraight,andwewalkeditthroughthedooroftheplanethatway,shereceivingit.

Thedoorclosedandwestoodbackandtheplanetookoffintotheorangehaze,uswatchingituntilitwasswallowed.

Popsaid,"Rightnow,Iimagineyoutwofeelprettygoodinascrewed-upsortofway.IknowIdo.Buttakeitfromme,itwon'tlast.Adayortwoandwe'regoingtostartfeelinganotherway,the_old_way,ifwedon'tgetbusy."

Iknewhewasright.Youdon'tshakeOldUrgeNumberOneanythinglikethateasy.

"So,"saidPop,"IgotplacesIwanttoshowyou.GuysIwantyoutomeet.Andthere'sthingstodo,alotofthem.Let'sgetmoving."

Sothere'smystory.Aliceisstillwithme(UrgeNumberTwoisevenhardertoshake,supposingyouwantedto)andwehaven'tkilledanybody

lately.(NotsincethePilot,infact,butitdoesn'tdotoboast.)We'remakingastab(mylanguage!)atdoingthesortofworkPopdoesintheDeathlands.It'stoughbutinteresting.Istillcarryaknife,butI'vegivenMothertoPop.HehasitstrappedtohimalongsideAlice'sscrew-inblade.

Atla-HiandAlamosstillseemtobeinexistence,soIguesstheserumworkedforthemgenerallyasitdidforthePilot'sWoman;theyhaven'tsentusanymedals,buttheyhaven'tsentahangman'ssquadafteruseither--whichismorethanfair,you'lladmit.ButSavannah,turnedback



fromAtla-Hi,isstillgoingstrong:there'sarumortheyhaveanarmyatthegatesofOuachitarightnow.WetellPophe'dbetterstartpreachingfast--it'soneofourstandardjokes.

There'salsoarumorthatacertainfellowshipofDeathlandersisdoingsurprisinglywell,arumorthatthere'sanewAmericagrowingintheDeathlands--anAmericathatneverneedkillagain.Butdon'tputtoomuchstockinit.Not_too_much.

THEEND

the night of long knives

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