The Lost Treasure: By Jordan Cardell

The Lost Treasure: By Jordan Cardell

Copyright (c) 2010 This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.

CHARACTERS:

CASTAWAYS-

DAKOTA: Leader of the castaways; caring but tough (Female)

ALEXIS: Dakota's best friend (Female)

FATHER ABRAM: The ship's Priest (Male)

DESTINY: Her father was a drunkard and used to abuse her before she ran away from home so now she is quite sensitive (Female)

MATHEW: The ship's old map charter (Male)

ROSE: Secretly in love with Mathew and does not think herself as beautiful; wears glasses (Female)

JANE: A snob; always making fun of others, is always worried about her looks, and carries around lip gloss (Female)

PIRATES-

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Captain of the pirates and insists that everyone call him Captain Blackbeard (Male)

LAYNE: The ships first mate and Captain Abbey's best friend (Male)

JONATHAN: Smartest of all pirates; leads the mutiny (Male)

SAMUEL: Has a very loud and annoying voice and always wanted to be on Broadway (Male)

ETHAN: Really wishes he had wife (Male)

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BRANDON: Very lazy and reluctant; mother always wanted him to be a lawyer (Male)

BAILEY: Doesn't listen very well; father was a carpenter (Can be played by Male or Female)

JAKE: Not too bright

The Lost Treasure is designed for a cast of 14, about 8 males and 6 females. However, you may adjust the cast to suit your needs. Some of the pirates can easily be played by females if you change the name. You may add extra castaways or pirates. If you would like a smaller cast, you may combine SAMUEL and BAILEY or SAMUEL and BRANDON etc.

PLACE

The main action takes place on a deserted island with palm trees, birds, etc.

TIME

The present

COSTUMES

Castaways

All castaways wear frayed shorts that come at least to the knees, modern blouses with the option of tears, and tennis shoes, flip-flops, or they may go barefoot. This is with the exception of FATHER ABRAM, DESTINY, MATHEW, and JANE

FATHER ABRAM wears white priest robes that come down to his ankles and brown sandals with a cross necklace around his neck. He carries a Bible. DESTINY wears a modern blouse with tears if possible and an undershirt so the tears will not show too much skin. MATHEW wears brown cargo shorts with a green button up shirt with a tropical floral pattern and has a pair of binoculars with a string on it so he can wear it around his neck and brown sandals and wears a pencil behind his ear. JANE wears a ruffled light pink skirt that comes down to her knees and a white shirt with another shirt on top of that of which ties in the front. She has a pair of sunglasses that she wears either on her eyes or on top of her head, whichever is better. She wears either white or pink flip-flops and carries around lip gloss.

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Pirates

The pirates wear a variety of colors, different types of shirts and pants. They may go barefoot or wear sandals. Their clothes can be old, dirty, ruffled, or torn. They also wear sashes and bandanas on their heads, waist, or around the shoulder. They may also wear pirate’s hats if they choose. They may wear earrings, and strap a foam or real sword for better effect at their sides.

CAPTAIN ABBEY has the most elaborate costume of them all. He wears a white ruffled shirt with long puffy sleeves, a long black coat with large cuffs, black pants, black boots, and a red sash. He wears a black curly wig and fake black beard, a musketeer hat with a feather, a sword at his side, and an eye patch.

PROPS

Act One: Coconuts, bananas, boulder to sit on, swords for pirates, pencil, lip gloss, Bible, binoculars, string, bologna, smart phone, and a map.

Act Two: Leaves, sticks, hair beret, treasure chest filled with beads, necklaces, chalices, and other treasures, ropes, and a bandana.

Act Three: Map and sharp sticks for the castaways.

BEFORE THE CURTAIN

For the sets, try painting sand dunes and palm trees. You may also have shells, birds, rocks, etc.

The Lost Treasure

By Jordan Cardell

ACT ONE, SCENE ONE

Setting:

A remote/deserted island. There is a cutout of a large rock stage right and palm trees, shrubs, tropical plants etc. all around. The sets are painted with a blue sky with optional clouds, and are to resemble a rainforest. There are other beach items scattered around the stage such as palm trees, tropical birds, plants, sand hills, driftwood, etc.

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At Rise:

Pirate's hideout; Pirates are sitting around resting. JONATHAN is sitting on one end of the rock writing something with a quill onto a piece of worn paper, SAMUEL is doing kicks as if he is on Broadway, ETHAN is sitting at the other end of the rock with a flower in his hand picking the petals one by one, BAILEY is carving something into a piece of driftwood, and BAILEY and JACOB are sleeping on the ground.

JACOB: Where be Captain Abbey and Layne?

BAILEY: Why, they’ve been looking for food for hours!

ETHAN: I bet he found a woman... he probably found love... At least he has love! I hope he be happy...

SAMUEL: Oh would ye just shut up ye incompetent fool! If the Captain hears you call him (In a whisper) Captain Abbey, (In a louder voice) he would keelhaul ye! Ye know that he likes to be called Captain Blackbeard!

Jacob: Arg! Why that gutless swab wouldn’t do anything!

JONATHAN: Calm ye selves, men! First of all, they went looking for food, not women Ethan! There hasn’t been a real women on this blasted island for probably a hundred years! Second of all, they’ve only been gone for 26, 27, 28, 29, sixteen and a half minutes!

(Layne enters from RIGHT carrying coconuts, bananas, etc.)

LAYNE: Avast ye maties! Captain Blackbeard the Third!

(All the pirates reluctantly stand up and salute. CAPTAIN ABBEY struts in from RIGHT)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: At ease men. Layne! Get over here!

(CAPTAIN ABBEY turns to the left, LAYNE runs to the right. As CAPTAIN ABBEY looks to the right, LAYNE runs to the left. They repeat this several times before CAPTAIN ABBEY finally sees him)

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CAPTAIN ABBEY: There ye be! I need you to ration this out.

LAYNE: What’s the magic word?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: NOW!

LAYNE: That’s not it. Come on, say it!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Fine... Please...

LAYNE: Actually the magic word was now, but I just wanted to hear you say please.

(CAPTAIN ABBEY points over to stage left and as LAYNE looks that way, CAPTAIN ABBEY smacks him upside the head)

LAYNE: Ouch! That hurt Captain!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Well it wasn’t supposed to feel good you idiot!

LAYNE: Well that didn’t feel too great either!

(Ethan crosses over to CAPTAIN ABBEY)

Ethan: Captain, we were just...thinking...uh, Jonathan, you can take it from there!

(ETHAN pushes JONATHAN in front of him, CAPTAIN ABBEY pulls out his sword and holds it against JONATHAN’S throat)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: What are ye tryin’ to says?

JONATHAN: We were just wonderin’ if we could have a new...uh...leader?

(CAPTAIN ABBEY rears his sword back as if he is going to swing. JONATHAN leans back as CAPTAIN ABBEY swings at him but stops right as the sword is about to hit him. The other pirates gasp)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Ye know what? Why not! And just who do ye elect?

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(Jacob steps forward)

JACOB: I nominate meself!

Brandon: Why ye fool, ye can’t be the leader!

JACOB: Why not?

JONATHAN: Because the leader can’t have an IQ of 19.8!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Anyone else?

(CAPTAIN ABBEY waves his sword around. CAPTAIN ABBEY starts to turn around and walk off with satisfaction)

BRANDON: So darn charasmatic! I vote for Abbey! Oops...

(CAPTAIN ABBEY stops and turns back around. He is extremely mad)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: What did you just call me?

BRANDON: I’m sorry Captain! I didn’t mean to, I swear! I promise I’ll never do it again!

(CAPTAIN ABBEY again rears his sword back)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Yes, I know you won’t!

LAYNE: Captain wait! Don’t kill him!

(CAPTAIN ABBEY whirls around)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Give me one good reason I can’t slit his throat right now?!

LAYNE: (Searching for a reason) Because....uh...’twould be one less man to help you look for the treasure!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Ah yes... One-eyed John’s treasure... Fine. He shan’t die today. But just remember, if ye EVER call me that wretched name ever again, I’ll KEELHAUL YE!

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LAYNE: Calm yeself Captain!

(LAYNE takes CAPTAIN ABBEY over stage left as the other pirates are talking to each other)

SAMUEL: I told you so! Never call him that!

BRANDON: (Sarcastically) Yes, thank you.

JONATHAN: Actually, you told Jacob that.

(Everyone gives him a dirty look)

JONATHAN: What? I was just sayin’!

ETHAN: When are we goin’ to mutiny mates?

SAMUEL: We have to elect someone to lead the mutiny first.

JACOB: I nominate Jonathan!

SAMUEL: Why him?!

JACOB: Because yer biggest dream is to be on Broadway. That’s why!

SAMUEL: S-s-so? W-w-what’s wrong with Broadway?

JACOB: Oh nothin’...’cept that it’s just a bunch of people in tights prancing ‘round like someone just gave ‘em an atomic wedgie!

(JACOB starts frolicking and dancing around the stage. SAMUEL crosses his arms and gives him a dirty look)

ETHAN: Get back over here ye yellow-bellied blowfish!

JACOB: Who ye callin’ a yellow-bellied blowfish ye scurvy-infested swine!

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(JACOB punches ETHAN, ETHAN punches back, JACOB falls, ETHAN starts kicking him. The other pirates drag ETHAN away from JACOB as he gets up and dusts himself off)

JONATHAN: Back off ye scallywags! There is business at hand!

BRANDON: All those in favor of Jonathan in leading the mutiny against old Blackbeard?

(Everyone raises their hands)

JONATHAN: Alright then, it’s settled.

ETHAN: When shall we attack?

JACOB: What about that scurvy Layne?

JONATHAN: When ‘tis time, we shall give him one chance and one chance only to join us.

BRANDON: If he don’t, we’ll slit his throat alongside Blackbeard!

JONATHAN: When the time is right, but for now we must continue to look for Old One-eye John’s buried treasure with them.

(CAPTAIN ABBEY and LAYNE walk over)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: What be goin’ on over here?

BRANDON: Nothing! We were just talkin’ about the...

(JONATHAN elbows BRANDON in the stomach)

BRANDON: -economy! Yes! Tough times... and the... uh... weather! (Laughs nervously)

ETHAN: You idiot!

JONATHAN: Never mind him Captain. We were just talking about One-eye John’s treasure chest! Shall we continue the search?

(CAPTAIN ABBEY looks at them suspiciously)

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CAPTAIN ABBEY: Hmm...fine. Off we go.

(All pirates exit left except for CAPTAIN ABBEY and LAYNE)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Now Layne, if I tell ye somethin’, ye must swear ye shall never tell another livin’ soul! Especially them thrivin’ pirates! Do ye hear?

LAYNE: Yes sir Captain!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Ye must pirate swear!

LAYNE: Not the pirate swear!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Oh yes! The pirate swear...

(The “Pirate Swear” is a handshake that consists of clashing swords four times in a cross, using their swords to draw something in the sand, lifting the sword in the air, putting them away, then singing Rosie Posie but with these lyrics while holding hands and spinning around in a circle.

“Pirate’s swear, Pirate’s Swear

I solemnly swear

That I will keep this secret shared

Or blow the man down!”

(Both let go and fall on the ground, then stand up)

LAYNE: Well shiver me timbers I sure to remember the simpler times of the pinky swear!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Oh shut up ye scurvy dog! Avast ye! Now, me lad, the reason we have never found the old seadog One-eyed John’s booty is because the map is incomplete.

LAYNE: What do you mean, incomplete?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: There is another piece to the map but I thought I

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would have already found it years ago. It is hidden somewhere on this island. We need it to find the treasure. I know them blasted landlubber pirates are up to no good and I have a feeling that we have some mutineers on our hands! If we don’t find that last piece to the map, they will slit our throats for sure!

LAYNE: Whoa whoa whoa... WHOA! Calm down Captain! Let’s just slow down and...

(LAYNE starts screaming, throwing his hands in the air, and

running around in circles. CAPTAIN ABBEY puts his hand over his mouth. The other pirates enter in from left)

Jonathan: What be goin’ on here Blackbeard?

(CAPTAIN ABBEY quickly takes his hand away when he sees them)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Why nothing at all Laddie!

ETHAN: But we heard screaming?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Oh, that? That was just Layne. I..uh...stepped on his foot! Yes, that’s it!

(CAPTAIN ABBEY steps on LAYNE’S foot and he tries not to scream as he in bouncing around in pain)

BRANDON: Well alright then! Let’s go find that treasure!

LAYNE: (In a high pitched squeaky voice) Yes! Let’s....

(CAPTAIN ABBEY leads off left, followed by LAYNE who is limping, then the rest)

ACT ONE, SCENE TWO

(Castaways have just been shipwrecked. All enter from right)

JANE: Omg! That’s all I can say. Omg! Ugh, I cannot believe this

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is really happening!

ROSE: It’s not that bad, Jane.

DESTINY: We’ll get off the island somehow!

JANE: WHO CARES?! I’m almost out of Lover girl lip gloss number five! (Steps forward and spreads arms out) From easy, peasy, wonderful, Lover girl!

(Everyone stares at her with strange expressions)

JANE: What? If I’m going to be lost, I might as well look fabulous!

DAKOTA: No one said we were lost!

FATHER ABRAM: Well?

DAKOTA: Well what?

FATHER ABRAM: Are we lost?

DAKOTA: Oh. Yeah, we are definitely lost.

MATHEW: We are not lost. I know exactly where we are!

EVERYONE: Where?!

MATHEW: Umm... I do not appreciate being yelled at. Thank you very much!

JANE: Listen here you little pigeon-toed weasel! I have an appointment to get my nails done tomorrow and I am NOT going to miss it!

(JANE starts to walk off)

MATHEW: Just a second ago you were worried about your lip gloss, and now it’s you nails?! Boy, someone is in a mood! Once again, I

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don’t appreciate being yelled at. Sheesh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the hair salon.

(JANE turns back around and advances toward him with a raised fist but before she can hit MATHEW, DAKOTA and FATHER ABRAM grab her)

FATHER ABRAM: Jane! God shall punish the ones that let anger and greed take over! Do not let that happen.

JANE: (Sighs) You’re right Father. I apologize.

MATHEW: I know this much; we are somewhere on an uncharted island in the Caribbeans. We are hundreds of miles from any civilization.

DAKOTA: Which means we are going to be here a while.

(JANE starts to complain before DAKOTA cuts her off)

DAKOTA: Don’t start Jane. It’s bad enough we are stuck here. We don’t your prissy attitude to start drama and make things worse!

JANE: Well! How incredibly rude!

DAKOTA: We need to elect a leader. So who’s up for the job?

(Everyone looks at each other and no one says anything)

DAKOTA: Anybody? Father Abram?

FATHER ABRAM: I would, but God is telling me that it is not my job.

DAKOTA: Then whose is it?

FATHER ABRAM: I think we all know who it is, my child.

DAKOTA: Alexis?

ALEXIS: Dakota, I love you and all, but I’m just your sidekick. I

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would do it, but you know I can’t even hold down a job as a clerk at Bull’s Eye! (Resembling to “Target”)

DAKOTA: Yes, I know. When a customer got an attitude because she wanted you to have a pleasant tone during checkout, you got all worked up about it.

ALEXIS: Well she started it!

DAKOTA: Did you have to cross-country slap her in front of her kids?!

ALEXIS: My grandmother died the day before and I hadn’t had my coffee. I was out of my mind!

DAKOTA: Mathew? You’re a man.

MATHEW: No way!

DAKOTA: Alright then, scratch that.

MATHEW: Hey!

ROSE: I think what Father Abram is getting at, Dakota, is that you should lead us.

DAKOTA: What? No, no, no, no, no, and if it weren’t any clearer, NO!

ALEXIS: Dakota…

DAKOTA: Fine, I’ll do it. I had better not have to make some sort of life or death decisions. First order of business is to see what all we have. Everyone empty your pockets and set everything on the ground.

FATHER ABRAM: Ahem!

DAKOTA: Except the Bible. Yes, I know Father Abram.

(Everyone puts what they have on the ground)

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DAKOTA: It’s not much, but here’s what we’ve got. We are stuck on this wasteland with a Bible, a tube of Lover girl lip gloss number five, a pair of binoculars, a number two pencil, a piece of string, a piece of bologna, and a milky way smart phone. Jane, why in the world you bring a smart phone?!

JANE: Why wouldn’t I?! It’s to call for help! Duh!

DAKOTA: (Chuckles for a moment) You know what, Jane? You call for help! You do that!

(JANE picks up the phone and tries to “call” someone)

ROSE: Is she really-? (DAKOTA interrupts)

DAKOTA: I-I have no idea…

(JANE hangs up)

JANE: They didn’t answer! That’s believable! They should always pick up the phone!

MATHEW: Well who did you call?

JANE: My salon, of course! It’s my speed dial number one.

DESTINY: Oh my goodness…

JANE: What?! (Starts crying softly)

DAKOTA: (Slowly takes the phone from JANE) Jane, listen honey. The reason they didn’t answer is because we are in the middle of NOWHERE if you haven’t noticed!!! I mean, I’m just saying…

(JANE grunts and goes stage left to pout and sulk)

EVERYONE: (Except JANE) Ugh, drama queens!

ROSE: What’s next on the agenda, Dakota?

ALEXIS: Hey, what’s this?

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(Picks up something off the ground and dusts it off)

DESTINY: What is it?

ALEXIS: It looks like……A treasure map!

(EVERYONE starts adlibbing “A treasure map?!” “Is it real?” etc. DAKOTA tries to calm them down but it is not working)

ALEXIS: HEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!

(EVERYONE gets quiet)

DAKOTA: Thank you.

ALEXIS: Anytime.

DAKOTA: Slow down everyone. Let me have a look at that, Alexis.

ALEXIS: Okay, see for yourself!

(Hands the map to DAKOTA)

DAKOTA: Hmm… It says that this is the map to One-eyed John’s treasure chest. Ha! I do not believe any of that foolish nonsense.

ALEXIS: Do you think it’s real?

DAKOTA: It says that there are four pieces to the map, and this is the fourth.

JANE: So that means that there are three other parts to the map?

DESTINY: I guess so.

MATHEW: Well then let’s go find them!

DAKOTA: Wait a second everyone! I- I’m sure it’s not even real! Besides, there are still other things to worry about here. We still need to find food and water.

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JANE: Oh! I found water!

DAKOTA: That was easy! Where is it?

JANE: Over there! That will last us a lifetime! (Indicates to the ocean)

ALEXIS: Jane, were you dropped on your head as a baby?! That’s the ocean! If we drank that, we would be sick to our stomachs! We need FRESH water!

FATHER ABRAM: Ahem! Alexis!

ALEXIS: Sorry Father…

FATHER ABRAM: Thank you.

DESTINY: What are we going to do about the treasure map?

DAKOTA: Okay, that’s enough! This was probably just made by a bored sailor and his ship was wrecked like us, and this washed up on shore. That’s all! Now I want each of you to stop talking about all of this foolishness because that is not what is important right now. We need to build a shelter to keep us safe from the bad weather we may encounter while we are here. Mathew and Father Abram go gather sticks and tree branches. Jane, Rose, and Destiny go gather leaves and mud. Alexis and I will go look for food and water.

JANE: Uh… EXCUSE me?! I am not going to get mud on this skirt!

DAKOTA: If you don’t, mud won’t be the only thing getting on your precious little skirt!

(JANE gasps and runs off right screaming. FATHER ABRAM and MATHEW exit left. ROSE and DESTINY exit right. ALEXIS starts to exit left but stops when she notices that DAKOTA is still looking at the map)

ALEXIS: Dakota? What’s wrong?

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DAKOTA: I’ve seen this before. I-I know I have.

ALEXIS: What are you talking about?

DAKOTA: The map. I’ve seen it before.

ALEXIS: I thought you said that it was nonsense? Foolishness? You said that you didn’t even know if it was real.

DAKOTA: Well I don’t, but I know I have seen this somewhere.

ALEXIS: Umm… why don’t we just go look for water and maybe you’ll feel better. The heat must be getting to you.

(Tries to pull DAKOTA offstage but DAKOTA pulls away)

DAKOTA: You think I’m crazy, don’t you?

ALEXIS: (Sarcastically) No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Okay, well maybe just a little. But who can blame you? We don’t have any water and it’s like an oven on the sun out here!

DAKOTA: Really? An oven… on the sun?! The sun would melt an oven in an instant!

ALEXIS: Oh you know I’m not good at Sciencey stuff!

DAKOTA: Sciencey?

ALEXIS: Well?

DAKOTA: Whatever, let’s just go.

ALEXIS: Thank you! I feel like I could just tear a tree up by its roots and build an air conditioner with sonic-like speed that’s powered by coconut milk!

DAKOTA: Okay…Seriously, you have GOT to stop reading so many comic books!

ALEXIS: What? Can I help it if the amazing Tarantula Man is TOTALLY hot?!

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DAKOTA: Oh girl! Don’t I know it! Wait- what am I saying?!

ALEXIS: Fine.

(ALEXIS exits left. DAKOTA takes one last look at the map before putting it in her pocket and exits left)

Act One, Scene Three

(CAPTAIN ABBEY and LAYNE enter from left. LAYNE sits down on the rock as CAPTAIN ABBEY starts pacing)

LAYNE: You’re bein’ overly dramatic about all of this.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Aaaarrrg! If we don’t find that blasted map, those pirates are going to slit me throat and I’ll be sent to… (Shudders) Davy Jones Locker… Savvy?

LAYNE: Aye Captain. Although, standin’ around and panickin’ is gonna get us nowhere. We need to think of a plan.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: (Very quick and worried-sounding) I-I…I be not panicking! Wha-wha, what makes you think I be panicking? Why, I be as calm as the sea!

(At that moment, you may play a thunderstorm sound effect or waves crashing to resemble that the sea is reckless- just like CAPTAIN ABBEY. At the sound, CAPTAIN ABBEY and LAYNE both scream and run toward each other wanting to jump in each other’s arms)

CAPTAIN ABBEY/LAYNE: Hold me!

(Only to hit each other in mid air and fall on the ground. After a few moments of checking himself to make sure he is okay, LAYNE gets up and dusts himself off)

LAYNE: Yes, I know you are. That be exactly why a plan is what we need.

(LAYNE and CAPTAIN ABBEY start to think. SAMUEL and BAILEY sneak

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in and crouch behind the rock so they are not seen by CAPTAIN ABBEY and LAYNE. CAPTAIN ABBEY jumps up)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: I’ve got it!

LAYNE: Me too!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Are you thinking what I be thinking?

LAYNE: I think so.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: If ye be thinking about a way to get us out of this pickle, then aye we are!

LAYNE: Oh, well I be thinkin’ about lunch.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Nay ye fool!

(CAPTAIN ABBEY smacks LAYNE upside the head)

LAYNE: Ouch, Captain! That hurt!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Well it wasn’t supposed to feel good. Now, I have thought of a plan.

LAYNE: Does it involve monkeys because I know a guy.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: If it did I wouldn’t need you to get a hold of him because I think I already found one!

LAYNE: Where?!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Right in front of me.

(LAYNE looks around)

LAYNE: Well blow me down, Captain! I don’t see him!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Well, do ye got a mirror on ye?

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(LAYNE starts checking his pockets and pulls out a small hand mirror)

LAYNE: Here ye go.

(CAPTAIN ABBEY, irritated, takes the mirror and turns it around so LAYNE can see himself)

LAYNE: Oh! Why aren’t ye a handsome devil!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Son of a biscuit eater! Nay ye nitwit!

LAYNE: Oh, I see. Here, let me fix the bird’s nest on ye scalp.

(LAYNE takes off CAPTAIN ABBEY’s hat and tries to fix his hair but CAPTAIN ABBEY snatches the hat back, puts it on his head, and smacks LAYNE upside the head)

LAYNE: Ouch, Captain! That hurt!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Well it wasn’t supposed to feel good! Okay, here’s the plan: We are going to get the old chest from me Captain’s quarters and bring it here. We will fill it with treasures, and tell the men that it be One-eyed John’s treasure chest! That way they won’t have the urge to mutiny so I may resume position as captain!

LAYNE: Shiver me timbers! That be a wonderful plan, captain!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: I know.

LAYNE: Hmm… I wonder why I didn’t think of that.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Oh, I be comin’ up with a few ideas!

(LAYNE looks confused)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Oh come on.

(CAPTAIN ABBEY and LAYNE exit off left. SAMUEL and BAILEY come out from behind the rock)

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SAMUEL: Did ye hear that?

BAILEY: Aye! Layne knows a place where we can get our own monkeys!

SAMUEL: No ye idiot! They be tryin’ to fool us with a fake treasure!

BAILEY: Oh, that. Nay, I was too focused on what I was going to name me monkey. How does Bob sound?

SAMUEL: We must go tell the others so they be not fooled by this shallow trickery!

BAILEY: No! What about Steve? That is a perfect name!

SAMUEL: Ye know Bailey, ye are quite the moron. Do ye know that?

BAILEY: I BE NOT!

SAMUEL: Shut up ye fool! They’ll hear us!

LAYNE: (From off left) Did ye hear that, Captain?

SAMUEL: I told ye!

(SAMUEL runs off right, notices that BAILEY is still standing there, goes back and pulls him off stage right while BAILEY is staggering. CAPTAIN ABBEY and LAYNE re-enter left)

LAYNE: I could’ve sworn I heard something!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: I’m sure ye just be hearin’ things. Now come on, let’s go get that chest.

LAYNE: Aye, Captain.

(CAPTAIN ABBEY and LAYNE exit off left. BLACKOUT)

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Act Two, Scene One

(DESTINY, ROSE, and JANE enter right carrying sticks and twigs)

JANE: You know, I don’t think Dakota should be the leader. She’s terrible at it!

ROSE: What are you talking about?

DESTINY: She is a great leader!

ROSE: Yeah. Besides, you’re just jealous of her!

JANE: What?! I am not!

ROSE: Face it, Jane. Everyone likes her but you. You just can’t stand the thought of being stranded and that we have to work together. You know, not everything is about you!

DESTINY: You’re used to being a spoiled brat and babied by your rich father. Since we’re stranded, this will give you a chance to know what labor feels like.

JANE: L-l-labor? You mean… I have to work?! Oh this is awful! My life is so unfair!

(DESTINY drops the sticks that she was holding)

DESTINY: You don’t even know the meaning of the words unfair! For your information, my mother left me when I was just two years old. My father was a drunkard and he used to beat me every single night. Sometimes he would take it easy on me and not

break anything or knock me out. (Starts crying softly and she talks) I was constantly covered in bruises and blood. Over the years he has broken both of my arms, a leg, four of my fingers, two ribs, dislocated my shoulder, and fractured my foot three times. One night, when I couldn’t take it anymore, I packed up a small bag of clothes and ran away. I came aboard the ship because I knew that if my father ever found me he would surely kill me. THAT is unfair! If you think you have it bad then what is my life?! Huh? WHAT IS IT?!

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JANE: (Shocked) Destiny, I…I didn’t know…

DESTINY: Well now you do.

JANE: I’m sorry.

ROSE: I had no idea you were treated like that, Destiny. Why didn’t you ever tell me?

DESTINY: I didn’t want you to know, that’s why.

JANE: I really am sorry… I will make it up to you. I will get rid of my beret.

ROSE: Jane! That’s your favorite beret, though!

JANE: (Takes out the beret) Don’t remind me.

(JANE slowly sticks out her balled fist which is holding out the beret. After a tough time, she finally drops it on the ground. JANE gasps)

ROSE: This is a miracle!

DESTINY: Wow Jane, you really did it.

JANE: Yep… I guess I did. You know what? It actually feels… good!

ROSE: I’m glad.

DESTINY: Yeah. (Wipes her eyes) Do you know something, Jane?

JANE: What is that?

DESTINY: I’m sorry.

ROSE: Why are you sorry, Destiny?

DESTINY: I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I shouldn’t have told you that. It was my burden to carry, not yours, and I should’ve kept it to myself. I’m sorry.

23

JANE: Don’t be sorry.

DESTINY: Well I am.

ROSE/JANE: Well don’t be!

DESTINY: Alright, alright! (Giggles)

ROSE: We are your friends, you can tell us anything.

JANE: Yeah!

DESTINY: Thanks guys…

JANE: Okay, unless I have something TOTALLY messed up here, I am NOT a guy!

(All laugh)

ROSE: You crack me up!

DESTINY: Like an egg…

JANE: Aw shucks!

(Laugh again)

ROSE: Since we are all contributing something out of our comfort zones, I have a question.

DESTINY: What is it?

ROSE: Can I trust you two with a secret?

DESTINY: Yes!

JANE: Of Course!

ROSE: Well… I love Mathew.

(DESTINY/JANE: Really? Are you serious? Etc.)

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ROSE: Yes I do. I always have. He would never go for a girl like me…

JANE: A girl like what?

ROSE: An ugly nerd.

JANE/DESTINY: WHAT?!

DESTINY: One, you are NOT ugly. You are a beautiful girl and any boy would love to call you his and would fight to keep it that way.

JANE: Two, you are not a nerd. You are very smart. Just because you wear glasses doesn’t mean that you are a nerd. You know what?

(JANE crosses to ROSE and takes off her glasses and takes her hair down. She then steps back to admire what she has done)

ROSE: Wow…

DESTINY: Nice work, Jane!

(JANE and DESTINY give each other a high five)

JANE: You look great!

DESTINY: Totally.

JANE: If Mathew doesn’t fall head over heels when he sees your new look, nothing will!

ROSE: Thanks girls, but I think I’ll save this for when the time is right.

DESTINY: Alright.

JANE: Fine with us!

DESTINY: Well I guess we should go meet back up with the others.

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ROSE: They are probably looking for us.

JANE: Yeah. Let’s go.

(All start to exit left)

DESTINY: Hey! I will catch up with you later. I have to get the sticks!

ROSE: (From offstage) Okay!

JANE: (From offstage) We will meet you back at camp!

(DESTINY quickly picks up the sticks and runs off left. In the rush, she does not pick up all of them)

Act Two, Scene Two

(CAPTAIN ABBEY and LAYNE walk in carrying an old pirate’s treasure chest with necklaces, beads, crowns, chalices, and other treasures hanging out)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Just set it down over here, Layne.

LAYNE: Aye, Captain.

(They put the chest down near the sticks and beret)

LAYNE: Do ye think that the plan will work?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Aye. We will just put it here and then get the men. Remember, it is One-eyed John’s treasure. Got it?

LAYNE: I thought it was a fake?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Aye, it is.

LAYNE: I’m confused.

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CAPTAIN ABBEY: Look. It is a fake treasure that looks like One-eyed Johns treasure. Now do ye understand?

LAYNE: Oh! I get it now.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Hallelujah.

(CAPTAIN ABBEY sits down on the chest. As LAYNE is about to sit, he slips on the sticks and falls down and sees the beret. CAPTAIN ABBEY helps him up)

LAYNE: Ouch!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Are ye alright?

LAYNE: I be fine.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Good.

(CAPTAIN ABBEY smack LAYNE upside the head)

LAYNE: Ouch, Captain! That hurt!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Well it wasn’t supposed to feel good! Now what happened?

LAYNE: I found something!

(Hands CAPTAIN ABBEY JANE’S beret)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: What be this?

LAYNE: It looks like a hair piece.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: But there be no women on the island in years!

LAYNE: Or has there…

CAPTAIN ABBEY: You may be right for once. There may actually be another livin’ soul here!

LAYNE: Why have we not seen them?

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CAPTAIN ABBEY: They must be hidin’.

LAYNE: What if they are the ones who have the last piece to the map?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Why would ye say that?! That be a terrible thing to say! Why put that negative energy here?

(Swats the air)

LAYNE: Sorry, Captain.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: ‘Tis alright. Just do not say it again!

LAYNE: Aye sir. But Captain, what are we going to do about the strangers?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: We shall keep a sharp eye out for them and when we find them, they will be shark bait!

LAYNE: Good decision.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: I know.

LAYNE: Ye know, Captain? That is something that I have always admired about ye. So incredibly humble!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Yes, I know that too.

LAYNE: What shall we do now?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: We are going to go back to camp and tell the men about the ‘treasure!’

LAYNE: Aye.

(CAPTAIN ABBEY and LAYNE exit right)

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Act Two, Scene Three

DAKOTA: Where is everyone? They should have been back by now.

ALEXIS: I’m sure they are around.

DAKOTA: Alexis? I think we should go look for the rest of this map.

(DAKOTA pulls out the map)

ALEXIS: What? Are you sure?

DAKOTA: Are you trying to change my mind?

ALEXIS: No.

DAKOTA: Alright then. Everyone was really curious about it. I think it would put the others in a good mood considering we are stranded. Who knows? It could be fun! Maybe we might even run into some pirates on the way!

(Both start laughing hysterically)

ALEXIS: (Suddenly stops laughing) Umm… Dakota?

DAKOTA: Yes?

ALEXIS: What if there really are pirates on this island?

DAKOTA: I highly doubt it. Pirates are just in fairytales our parents told us when we were kids.

ALEXIS: My parents didn’t tell me stories about pirates.

DAKOTA: They didn’t? I remember when I was little, my father used to tell me all kinds of stories of his days at sea and what he encountered. He escaped from the clutches of strange Indians and fought fierce pirates! But that was before…

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ALEXIS: Before what?

DAKOTA: Before my father left us when I was only four years old.

ALEXIS: I am very sorry. I never knew that.

DAKOTA: It’s okay. That was the only reason that I bought a ship. To go out to sea to try and find him. I guess that is all over.

ALEXIS: I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that you will see him someday.

DAKOTA: For all we know, he may not even be on the sea!

ALEXIS: I’m sure he is. If anyone can love something so much as to where they would leave their family, I’m sure he is on the ocean.

DAKOTA: I don’t know. Hey, look! Here come the others!

ALEXIS: Finally!

(MATHEW and FATHER ABRAM enter from left)

DAKOTA: Hey guys!

MATHEW: We got the things you asked for.

ALEXIS: It took you long enough!

FATHER ABRAM: I apologize, it is my fault. I kept tripping over my robes.

MATHEW: That doesn’t make it your fault, Father.

ALEXIS: Yeah.

(JANE, ROSE, and DESTINY enter from right. Everyone sets down what they found. Leaves, sticks, small branches, etc.)

30

DAKOTA: Alright everyone I have something to say. I have decided that we are going to go look for the rest of this map so we can try to find this “treasure.”

(Everyone starts talking wildly and saying things like, “How exciting!” "What an adventure!’’ etc. DAKOTA tries to calm them down but it’s not working)

ALEXIS: HEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!

(Everyone gets quiet)

DAKOTA: Thanks.

ALEXIS: Anytime.

DAKOTA: We are going to split up. We will stay in the same groups that we were in to look for food. If you find anything, come back here. Capeesh?

EVERYONE: Capeesh!

DAKOTA: Alright! Let’s go!

(MATHEW and FATHER ABRAM exit left. JANE, ROSE, and DESTINY exit left)

DAKOTA: Are you ready to do this?

ALEXIS: As ready as I’ll ever be!

(DAKOTA and ALEXIS exit right)

Act Two, Scene Four

(JONATHAN, ETHAN, AND JACOB enter left)

ETHAN: They should have been back by now!

JACOB: Aye!

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JONATHAN: Those fools had better hurry up! I am getting impatient.

(JACOB walks over to stage right)

JACOB: There they be!

(SAMUEL and BAILEY run in from right, knocking JACOB down. BAILEY helps him up)

SAMUEL: Get up ye fool!

BAILEY: It be not the time to sit around all the do-da day!

SAMUEL: We bring bad news.

JONATHAN: (Groans) What is it, Samuel?

BAILEY: THERE IS A FAKE TREASURE!

(SAMUEL then bonks BAILEY on the head and he falls on the ground)

SAMUEL: He asked me!

(BAILEY gets up, dusts himself, and punches SAMUEL. They keep fighting until JONATHAN steps in and hits their heads together. They both fall on the floor with a series of moans and groans)

JONATHAN: Now will the both of ye straighten up and tell me what you found out?!

BAILEY/SAMUEL: Aye sir.

(Both stand up)

ETHAN: Did I hear ye right?

JACOB: Did ye say that there was a treasure?

BAILEY: Ye see…

SAMUEL: What had happened was…

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BAILEY: We were spying on the two crooks when we heard their plan.

JONATHAN: Which is…?

SAMUEL: They are going to get an old chest, fill it with jewels, and trick us with it.

Jonathan: What?!

BAILEY: They are going to tell us that it be One-eyed John’s treasure chest.

JONATHAN: WHAT?!

BAILEY: We just told you what.

JONATHAN: (Becomes enraged with anger) AAAAARRRRRGG!!!!! (He swings to punch BAILEY, who ducks, and hits JACOB, who was standing behind BAILEY)

JACOB: Why did ye do that?

JONATHAN: Ye shouldn’t have been standin’ there!

ETHAN: What shall we do?

JONATHAN: Mutiny!

SAMUEL: Now?

JONATHAN: Aye, maties. ‘Tis time…

ALL PIRATES: AAAARRG!!!

(At that moment, LAYNE enters from right ready to announce the arrival of CAPTIAN ABBEY but as soon as he spots the blood-thirsty pirates, he tries to run off left. He is not fast enough and all the pirates grab him as JONATHAN pulls out his sword and puts it to LAYNE’S throat)

33

LAYNE: Wha-what’s g-goin’ on?

SAMUEL: We heard yer plan to fool us with a fake treasure!

ALL PIRATES: ARG!

LAYNE: What? No, no, no, no, no! We said that we was… (Searches for an excuse)

…Going to surprise you! With One-eyed John’s treasure that we found!

SAMUEL: Are ye callin’ me a liar?

LAYNE: No! Of course not!

BAILEY: Ye had better not be!

ETHAN: We won’t believe yer lies!

BAILEY: The treasure ‘tis a fake!

JONATHAN: Now listen up ye old dog!

LAYNE: (Gulps nervously and in a high pitched squeaky voice) Aye?

JONATHAN: We are goin’ to mutiny against that scallywag Blackbeard and we are going to give ye one chance and one chance only to join us.

JACOB: And if ye refuse, we’ll slit yer throat!

ALL PIRATES: AYE!

JONATHAN: So… what do ye say?

SAMUEL: Will ye join us?

LAYNE: Hey look! It be Captain Blackbeard! (LAYNE points stage left and all the pirates look that way as LAYNE makes his escape off stage right)

34

JONATHAN: (Very long, loud, and dramatic) LAYNE!!!!!!!

BAILEY: Let’s get him!

(BAILEY runs off stage right with his sword raised)

JONATHAN: Bailey?

(BAILEY comes walking back in nonchalantly)

JONATHAN: Where do ye think ye are going?

BAILEY: To go slit that landlubber’s throat!

JONATHAN: We have to have a plan first ye idiot.

BAILEY: Oh yeah…

SAMUEL: Okay, so what is it?

JONATHAN: What if I don’t have one?

JACOB: Ye’re the smartest!

ETHAN: So ye should think of the plan. What it be?

BRANDON: Aye.

JONATHAN: I’ve got it!

(All pirates huddle together and talk for a few moments)

JONATHAN: Alright, now that ye all know the plan, do any of ye have any questions?

(All pirates look at each other)

ALL PIRATES: Nay.

JONATHAN: Good! Now, who is ready to mutiny that old scurvy infested swine Blackbeard?!

35

ALL: AYE!!!

(As the pirates exit right they sing a chant with the lyrics of “We’re going to mutiny the old swine, hurrah! Hurrah! We’ll hunt him down and slit his throat, hurrah! Hurrah! Then may his soul rest in peace in Davy Jones’s Locker! Hurrah! Hurrah!)”

Act Two, Scene Five

(CAPTAIN ABBEY and LAYNE enter from right)

LAYNE: (VERY dramatic) I tried to outrun them, but they were just too fast. They chased me down and held me against me will. Jonathan held the sword up to me throat and said that if I didn’t join the mutiny against you then they would slit me throat. I used my (Looks proud) grand intelligence to outsmart them so I could make my daring escape!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Well I’ll be darned. Ye outsmarted someone? There’s a first for everything!

LAYNE: Captain!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: It be true!

LAYNE: No, Captain. What I be tryin’ to say is, they are coming after ye!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: I knew this would happen…

LAYNE: It looks like your plan didn’t work after all! I guess there is a first for everything!

(CAPTAIN ABBEY smacks LAYNE upside the head)

LAYNE: Ouch! Captain, that hurt!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Well it wasn’t supposed to feel good!

DAKOTA: (From offstage right) Let’s look over here, Alexis!

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ALEXIS: Okay, I’m right behind you.

(CAPTAIN ABBEY and LAYNE’S eyes get very big)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Did ye just say something?

LAYNE: Nay. Did ye?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Nay. It sounded like the voice of a woman. That be why I asked ye!

LAYNE: Captain, there be two of them.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Do ye think?

LAYNE: It could be! I hope so!

(DAKOTA and ALEXIS enter from right)

CAPTAIN ABBEY/LAYNE: Women!

DAKOTA: Alexis?

ALEXIS: Yeah?

DAKOTA: I don’t think those were fairy tales! I think we’ve found the answer to this map.

ALEXIS: You think?

(LAYNE faints)

ALEXIS: Aren’t you going to help him?!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Oh he’ll be fine. (He pulls out his sword) Who are ye?

DAKOTA: I’m Dakota, this is Alexis, and we’re not afraid of you.

(DAKOTA steps up to him and ALEXIS follows close behind)

37

ALEXIS: We aren’t?

DAKOTA: Nope. (Not taking her eyes off the pirate)

ALEXIS: Oh…

CAPTAIN ABBEY: (Slowly starts stepping toward them) Well, ye should be!

DAKOTA: Sorry to disappoint you!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Layne, get up!

(LAYNE starts to come to)

LAYNE: What happened?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Ye fainted when ye saw these women.

(LAYNE jumps up quickly when he remembers DAKOTA and ALEXIS)

LAYNE: I’m good! (Struts over to them) And I’m Layne. Nice to meet you lovely ladies!

(ALEXIS giggles while DAKOTA is annoyed. LAYNE sticks out his hand for ALEXIS to shake it. DAKOTA spots a mark shaped like a skull and crossbones on his arm)

DAKOTA: You’re pirates! I’ve seen that scar. Alexis, run!

(ALEXIS is too busy flirting and holding hands with LAYNE to hear)

DAKOTA: Run!

ALEXIS: Run?

DAKOTA: Yes!

(ALEXIS tries to run but LAYNE does not let go over her hand. He pulls her back towards him, ties her hands and feet, and forces

38

her to sit while she is struggling and screaming. At the same time, CAPTAIN ABBEY grabs DAKOTA and puts the sword to her throat)

LAYNE: Ye aren’t goin’ anywhere beautiful.

DAKOTA: Let us go!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Never!

ALEXIS: What do you want with us?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Ye two lassies don’t happen to know anything about a map, do ye?

(ALEXIS looks at DAKOTA worriedly)

DAKOTA: No, we don’t. Now leave us alone!

LAYNE: We ain’t gonna let ye go so easily.

DAKOTA: Why can’t you?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Because there is something ye’re not tellin’ me. Now, I will ask this one more time. Do ye know anything about a map?

DAKOTA/ALEXIS: No!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: I didn’t ask ye!

(CAPTAIN ABBEY grabs DAKOTA by the hair and throws her to the ground. He then pulls out his sword. He crosses over to ALEXIS, pulls out his sword and grabs her arm roughly)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: What did ye say?

ALEXIS: I said… no! You know darn well that you heard me loud and clear!

39

(CAPTAIN ABBEY gives ALEXIS a mighty blow on the arm with his sword. ALEXIS screams and is bleeding terribly)

DAKOTA: Oh no you didn’t! Boy you better watch out because I’m about to open this islands finest coconut of butt-whooping!

LAYNE: Oh wow. We’re shakin’!

DAKOTA: You should be!

(DAKOTA elbows LAYNE in the stomach, takes him arm, twists it, and flips him over. Do this close to the ground. This is completely safe and does not hurt if done correctly. DAKOTA crosses to CAPTAIN ABBEY, grabs the sword, smacks him in the bottom with it, and as he surprisingly turns around. He tries to punch her but she drops to the ground, puts one foot in front of his legs and another behind, and trips him to the ground. She then gets up and dusts off her hands)

DAKOTA: That’s what you get when you mess with me and my best friend! (DAKOTA drops the sword and runs to ALEXIS) Alexis, are you okay?

ALEXIS: I…I think so…

(DAKOTA unties her)

DAKOTA: Where does it hurt?

ALEXIS: (Groans) It’s my arm.

(DAKOTA tries to touch it)

ALEXIS: No need to interrupt you, but… OW!!!!!

DAKOTA: Oh, sorry Alexis.

ALEXIS: It’s fine. Oh man, this really hurts!

(DAKOTA takes a cloth off of her costume and ties it around ALEXIS’S arm)

40

DAKOTA: The cut is too deep for just a bandage. I have to get you back to camp. Maybe Father Abram knows of any remedies.

ALEXIS: Just go get help. I will stay here.

DAKOTA: (Desperate) I’m not leaving you alone with these goons! They won’t be on the ground for long, Alexis!

CAPTAIN ABBEY/LAYNE: Hey!

DAKOTA: Come on Alexis, you have to get back to camp before you lose too much blood! Here is what I need you to do: Go look for the others, they are still in search for the you-know-what. After your wound is tended to, I need you to keep them at camp and sharpen sticks and logs for protection. Do NOT bring them here, because, as leader, I cannot put them in danger. Tell them to build a secure raft and if I’m not back within an hour, leave the island without me...

ALEXIS: WHAT?! I’m not leaving you here!

DAKOTA: I can’t risk putting you in any more danger! I don’t want anyone getting seriously injured like you or even killed. I mean, I’m sure this isn’t the worst that this island could throw at us.

CAPTAIN ABBEY/LAYNE: HEY!

DAKOTA: I will fend these guys off for as long as I can… Now go!

ALEXIS: Okay…

(ALEXIS stands and exits stage right while holding her arm painfully. At that moment, CAPTAIN ABBEY and LAYNE slowly get up and get to the sword)

DAKOTA: (Mumbles) Ugh… I knew this map was a bad idea…

(DAKOTA then turns around to find that CAPTAIN ABBEY and LAYNE are back on their feet. They both have their swords in hand and capture DAKOTA with a little difficulty. They tie her up and

41

force her to sit down upper center stage. CAPTAIN ABBEY motions for LAYNE to come downstage)

LAYNE: What shall we do with her?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Arg, I know exactly what we’re gonna do. A trade!

LAYNE: A trade?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Aye.

LAYNE: Alright. Tell me more.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: The map, in exchange for her and her friend’s freedom.

LAYNE: How can ye be sure that she even does have the map?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: I can tell she is lyin’. I know she has the map, trust me on this laddie.

DAKOTA: You will never get away with this!

LAYNE: And how can ye be so sure?

DAKOTA: You don’t need to know!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: And if she refuses, I shall hand her over to those raft ridin’ seal sniffin’ pirates. They will be able to do anything they want with her.

LAYNE: What about her friend?

DAKOTA: You had better leave my friends alone!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Friends??? You mean there are more of you?!

DAKOTA: I didn’t say that!

LAYNE: (Sarcastically) Oh Dakota, but ye did!

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CAPTAIN ABBEY: We will hand them over to the other men as well. That Alexis girl will go first!

DAKOTA: If you even think about touching my friends, especially Alexis, I’ll… I’ll…

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Ye’ll what?!

DAKOTA: I will make you wish that you hadn’t crawled out of the dark hole you came from and (makes a face) obviously never took a bath in! Did you think I came out to sea unprepared? If you did, then you are off your nut, dude!

(CAPTAIN ABBEY takes a bandana out of his pocket and hands it to LAYNE)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Here, tie this around her mouth.

LAYNE: Aye, Captain.

(As LAYNE tries to tie the bandana around DAKOTA’S mouth, she bites him)

LAYNE: AAAAARRRGG! She bit me!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Just tie it!

LAYNE: Gee Captain, if only I had thought of that!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Well…

(LAYNE finally ties the bandana around DAKOTA’S mouth. CAPTAIN ABBEY crosses upstage)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Not so tough now, are ye lassie?

(DAKOTA stomps on CAPTAIN ABBEY’S foot. He again pulls out his sword but LAYNE stops him)

LAYNE: Captain, WAIT!

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(LAYNE steps between CAPTAIN ABBEY and DAKOTA. He accidentally trips over DAKOTA and falls backwards. DAKOTA mumbles a mocking “ha-ha.” LAYNE gives her a look)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Get up ye clumsy incompetent fool!

(CAPTAI ABBEY puts his sword away. LAYNE scrambles to stand up and both walk downstage again)

LAYNE: What will we do about the mutiny?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: I’ve got a question. Why must ye ask so many questions?

LAYNE: I be only curious.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Well stop, it’s annoying.

LAYNE: Wait, one more question…

CAPTAIN ABBEY: (Groans) What is it?

LAYNE: What shall we do now?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Well, for now we will keep Dakota here while we wait for her little friends to rescue her. When they get here, we will just make the… trade… Got it?

LAYNE: Seems simple enough!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Good. So now… we wait.

(CAPTAIN ABBEY and LAYNE sit on either side of DAKOTA, cross their arms, and look at her. DAKOTA looks at each of them and is annoyed and rolls her eyes. BLACKOUT)

Act Three, Scene One

(ROSE, DESTINY, and JANE are searching the island for the map. Each occasionally stopping to dig or look behind a plant or tree)

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JANE: I’m not trying to complain or anything, but (in an extremely whiney voice) it’s hot out here! I’m tired! I’m thirsty!!! Can’t we take a break?

DESTINY: We haven’t been out here for that long, but I guess we should get a sip of water to keep us hydrated.

JANE: Thank you! (Relieved)

ROSE: I don’t know if we will ever be able to find this map. It could take us years before we ever find anything. This island is huge!

JANE: (Groans) She’s right. We’ll never find it!

DESTINY: Don’t give up! We can’t give up! Just imagine the fortune and the treasures! We could be rich! We could eat like queens every single night, sleep with silk blankets, and live in a beautiful palace! (DESTINY wanders off in her own little land of imagination before ROSE snaps her out of it)

ROSE: Destiny? Destiny! Snap out of it! In case you haven’t noticed, this isn’t the 10th century anymore!

JANE: Yeah girl, where have you been?

DESTINY: Huh? Oh, sorry about that.

JANE: Well, if we aren’t going to stop looking, let’s go back to camp and fill our canteens. I’m parched! (Takes off the canteen that was strapped around her shoulder and turns it upside down to represent that it is empty)

ROSE: I still have some water in mine, here. (Hands JANE her canteen. JANE pretends to drink out of the canteen)

JANE: Ahh… That is refreshing!

ROSE: Hey! You drank it all!

JANE: See? Didn’t I tell you that we needed to fill our canteens?

45

(ROSE gives her a look)

JANE: What? You did…

DESTINY: (Leans toward ROSE) You did say that…

ROSE: (DESTINY a look and sarcastically says) REALLY?! I had absolutely NO idea!

(DESTINY gives ROSE a look)

(All exit stage left. Pirates enter right)

JONATHAN: I am so peeved!

(All other pirates echo in a series of “He is so peeved!” “So peeved!” “Oh yes!” JONATHAN paces back and forth across the stage as the other pirates are following him. As he turns around on about his third or fourth pace, he runs into the others. JONATHAN and the pirates are both trying to get around each other but keep going the same way. JONATHAN finally pushes through and continues pacing)

JONATHAN: Where could they be?! (Pirates keep repeating what he is saying) I mean, they couldn’t have gone far!

ALL PIRATES: Nope! Not far… Not at all!

JONATHAN: Would you idiots stop copyin’ everything I say?!

BAILEY: Stop copying everything you say! Oops… uh yeah… Right.

JONATHAN: (Sarcastically) Thank you…

(All exit left)

(After a few moments, ALEXIS enters right and collapses center stage while holding her now very bloody arm)

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ALEXIS: Man, this hurts! I don’t think I can go any farther. I might as well just stay here till I die. (Looks at her wound and groans)

(JANE, DESTINY, and ROSE enter left and see ALEXIS bleeding on the ground. JANE faints. As JANE falls to the ground, she accidentally hits ROSE in the head and it knocks her out. DESTINY gasps and runs over to ALEXIS)

DESTINY: Alexis! Alexis! Are you okay? Speak to me!

(ALEXIS groans and rolls over on her back)

DESTINY: Alexis… Thank goodness you are okay! What happened to you? Where is Dakota? Oh no… was she…?

ALEXIS: (Still a little groggy) Whoa, whoa, whoa… WOAH! Slow down! Okay here goes nothing: Pirates captured me and Dakota. One of them had obviously had a bad day or something because he cut my arm with his sword. Dakota then beat the living crud out of them and gave me specific directions. (She is losing focus because of the blood loss so DESTINY starts using various items to “cure” ALEXIS’S arm)

DESTINY: With all of the things that I’ve been through, it’s a good thing I know some good remedies for this stuff.

ALEXIS: Huh? What… what do you mean?

DESTINY: Uh… nothing. Anyway, what were your directions? Try not to use too much energy to speak.

(JANE and ROSE slowly come to and scramble over to ALEXIS and DESTINY)

JANE: Eww! Totally gross!

ALEXIS: Ugh, yeah thanks…

JANE: Sorry.

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ALEXIS: Whatever.

ROSE: What happened?

DESTINY: Tell you later. Now what were the directions that Dakota gave you, Alexis?

ALEXIS: She told me to come back to camp and after my wound got some treatment, gather the others, sharpen sticks, build a raft, and if she didn’t come back within an hour, leave without her…

JANE/DESTINY/ROSE: WHAT?! We’re NOT leaving without her!

ALEXIS: No need to shout, I’m RIGHT here. Anyway, that’s what I said, but she said that she could not risk putting any of us in any more danger.

ROSE: Great… We have NO leader!

DESTINY: Don’t say that!

ALEXIS: I know Dakota, and she is one tough chick. She is not one to give up easily. By the way, I forgot to mention something. It’s kind of important.

ROSE: What is it?

ALEXIS: They were looking for a map. They kept asking us if we knew anything about one, and we told them nothing of the search.

ROSE: Well THAT would have been some good information to know!

DESTINY: Take it easy on her. Do you think her day has been very peachy?

ROSE: By the looks of it, I’m gonna go with a no…?

(DESTINY and ALEXIS give her a look)

JANE: What ever happened to Dakota? You never told us, or was I out?

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DESTINY: Yeah, what did happen to her?

ALEXIS: Right, she said that she’d fight them off for as long as she could.

ROSE: So that means…

DESTINY: She… was, you know…

JANE: Or she’s kicking some serious pirate booty! (Laughs) See what I did there? See what I did there? (Everyone gives her a look) What? It’s called a pun!

DESTINY: Yeah… we know what it’s called.

(FATHER ABRAM and MATHEW enter right)

FATHER ABRAM: (Sees ALEXIS) Oh Lord! What has happened here?!

(Everyone stands up except ALEXIS, who is now being aided by FATHER ABRAM)

MATHEW: (Puts his hands on ROSE’S shoulders) What happened?!

ROSE: (She is in a daze by him) Eeeeeeeeeepppp!!!!!!!!!!

(MATHEW quickly takes his hands off of her shoulders and they both just awkwardly stand there)

JANE: Wh- what she meant to say was is that… (Looks at ALEXIS who is looking at her and nodding) there are pirates.

DESTINY: We don’t have time to tell you the whole story right now.

ALEXIS: We will tell you on the way.

EVERYONE: Huh?

ALEXIS: (Stands up) We have to save Dakota. Even if it is the last thing we ever do!

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JANE: It actually might be the last thing we ever do.

ALEXIS: As long as we tried to do the right thing, we shall not die in vain!

FATHER ABRAM: It looks like someone has been reading their scriptures!

ALEXIS: Who’s with me?

(One by one, everyone says “I”)

ALEXIS: Great! Let’s go.

(Everyone exits left. BLACKOUT)

Act Three, Scene Two

(Lights up as DAKOTA is still tied up and sitting center stage. She is crying)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: I am getting impatient! Where could they be?

LAYNE: Maybe they sailed off the island and left her to die here.

(DAKOTA squirms)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Aww look! She’s cryin’! Take the bandana off her mouth, and let’s see what she has to say!

(LAYNE unties DAKOTA’S mouth)

DAKOTA: If my friends truly care, they will believe in me and know that I am coming back!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: You really think that this isn’t really happening? You keep telling yourself this, so you are actually starting to believe it! They are NEVER coming back. They left you! Pretty soon the pirates will be here. Once more, do ye have a map?!

DAKOTA: NO!

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CAPTAIN ABBEY: (Slaps her) Fine, be that way!

LAYNE: Captain…

CAPTAIN ABBEY: (Whips around) WHAT?

LAYNE: (Looking out stage left) Here they come…

CAPTAIN ABBEY: (Unties DAKOTA’S legs and yanks her to her feet) Get up!

DAKOTA: I hate you.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: I can live with that!

BRANDON: (From offstage) There they be!

JONATHAN: Come on men! Let’s get them!

ALL PIRATES: AAAARRRG!!!!!

(ALL PIRATES enter left with their swords drawn)

CAPTAIN ABBEY/LAYNE: EEEEEEEEPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!

(LAYNE hides behind DAKOTA)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Layne! What are ye doin’?

LAYNE: What does it look like? I’m doing? I’m hiding!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Well make room for me!

(Hides behind LAYNE. The pirates all look at each other. They then surround them, capturing them. ALEXIS, ROSE, DESTINY, JANE, MATHEW, and FATHER ABRAM enter left)

ROSE: Oh no!

DESTINY: This is terrible!

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JANE: Poor Dakota!

MATHEW: We have to save them.

BAILEY: Whoa…

ETHAN: Women!!!

JACOB: Where did they come from?

JONATHAN: Who cares?! GET THEM!

ALEXIS: CHARGE!

(The castaways should be carrying sharpened sticks when they come in. They use that to fight with. Everyone should be fighting with someone, except DAKOTA, who is still tied up. FATHER ABRAM unties her)

FATHER ABRAM: Hey! (Trying to stop the fighting) Hey! HEY!

DAKOTA: HEEEEYY!!!!!!!

(Everyone stops)

FATHER ABRAM: Thank you! Now, look what has come between us. This! (Pulls out the last piece to the map. JONATHAN reaches for the map but FATHER ABRAM raises it out of his reach)

JONATHAN: Not fair…

FATHER ABRAM: Is too. Now stop fighting!

EVERYONE: NO!!!

(Keep fighting. JONATHAN grabs CAPTAIN ABBEY from behind and holds the sword to his throat. SAMUEL does the same with LAYNE)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: DAKOTA!

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DAKOTA: (Fighting still) WHAT?!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: I have something to tell you!

DAKOTA: Right NOW?! Really? In case you haven’t noticed, I am a little mad at you right now!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: (Trying to get free) It is important!

DAKOTA: WHAT?!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: (Gulps nervously) I am… your FATHER!!!

(Everyone freezes immediately in shock)

Everyone: WHOA……

DAKOTA: What?

CAPATIN ABBEY: Yes…

DAKOTA: I- I… I can’t believe this!

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Well you had better, because it is true.

DAKOTA: But that would mean that you were the one that told me all of those childhood stories, you leaving when I was little, you could tell that I was lying when I said that I didn’t know anything about a map. Why?

(Pulls away from JONATHAN and slowly walks toward DAKOTA)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: I was born to live the life of a pirate and sail the seas, but I didn’t want you to have the same terrible future. Leaving you and your mother was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but it had to be done.

JONATHAN: (Clears throat to interrupt the moment) Ahem? Not to interrupt this beautiful moment, but there is a mutiny in progress so would you mind?

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FATHER ABRAM: How can there be a mutiny, of there is nothing to fight for?

JOANTHAN: Of course there is something to… (Turns around to find the last piece to the map shredded up and thrown all over the ground. JONATHAN yells, gets on his hands and knees and picks through the pile)

JONATHAN: No!!!!! You fool!

SAMUEL: So…. Does that mean that we can never find the treasure?

(LAYNE pulls away quickly)

LAYNE: I guess not…

BRANDON: Well then…

BAILEY: I guess that was a little pointless.

FATHER ABRAM: It was not pointless. This will teach you all a valuable lesson that hopefully you can all learn from.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Well… what do ye say that we forget the past. I’m sorry.

(All pirates except JONATHAN laugh. He just shakes his hand)

JONATHAN: I am too. Why don’t we continue sailing the seas and scavenger the islands again, Captain?

CAPTAIN ABBEY: I appreciate the offer Jonathan, but I think I should return home and catch up on all of the years that I missed of my daughter’s life. How does that sound sweetie?

DAKOTA: Sounds great, Dad.

ETHAN: (Struts over to ROSE) Hello there. I’m Ethan, and who do I have the pleasure of meeting?

ROSE: I’m Rose, it is nice to meet you.

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ETHAN: The pleasure is all mine! Let me just say that you are the most beautiful person that I have seen in the whole world.

ROSE: Really?

ETHAN: Really.

MATHEW: (Crosses over to them) Rose?

ROSE: Mathew…

MATHEW: Would you like to go grab a shake when we get back on the mainland?

ETHAN: Oh, are you two dating?

MATHEW: We will be if that is how she wants it.

ETHAN: Or would you rather me make you one from the finest ingredients on the island, my lady? (Bows)

MATHEW: Who will it be, Rose?

Rose: Choose? Well… Ethan.

MATHEW: I thought you liked me?

ROSE: You knew?

MATHEW: You aren’t that secretive. Why, Rose?

ROSE: Before I ever went on this adventure, you never even noticed me. You treated me like I wasn’t even there!

MATHEW: Rose, I’m sorry.

ROSE: Well… it’s too late for that, now isn’t it? (Hooks arms with ETHAN)

(MATHEW stomps away. DAKOTA walks over to LAYNE)

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DAKOTA: Hey.

LAYNE: Hey.

DAKOTA: Just to clarify, you aren’t my brother or anything, are you?

(CAPTAIN ABBEY walks over)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: No he isn’t. (Chuckles)

DAKOTA: Okay, good, because you’re pretty cute. If you were my brother, this would just be awkward…

LAYNE: Well it’s a good thing you aren’t, because I think you’re cute too.

DAKOTA: (Blushes) Aww shucks!

(Both laugh)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: What is that I hear?

(The marriage song starts playing. CAPTAIN ABBEY is the priest. Everyone has a partner as they walk down the aisle. DAKOTA and LAYNE step up)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: I can’t believe my baby is all grown up and getting married!

DAKOTA: I’ll be fine, dad. Trust me.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Alright, darling.

(Everyone gets in position for the ceremony)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Layne, do you take my daughter (gives him a sinister look to make sure that he treats her well) to be your wife?

LAYNE: Aye! I do.

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Dakota, do you take Layne to be your husband?

DAKOTA: I sure do!

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CAPTAIN ABBEY: Are you sure???

DAKOTA: Yes Dad…..

CAPTAIN ABBEY: (Reluctantly) Okay… You may kiss the bride!

(LAYNE and DAKOTA kiss lovingly while everyone claps)

CAPTAIN ABBEY: Okay you two take it easy. Don’t swallow each other! Geesh!

(Everyone continues clapping. Upbeat music starts playing as everyone runs up to LAYNE and DAKOTA to congratulate them. Then they all exit off right. Bows may be organized however the director pleases)

The End!

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