the leadership pause - q4 consulting · 2017-08-29 · www. q4-consulting.com copyright©2017 chris...

The Leadership Pause™

Cultivating Your Life’s Potential

By Chris L. Johnson, PsyD.

Q4 Consulting, Inc.

WWW. Q4-CONSULTING.COM COPYRIGHT©2017 CHRIS JOHNSON & Q4 CONSULTING, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 1

Table of Contents

Introduction ……………………………………………………………………………... 2

Quick Start……………………………………………………………………………......5

About the Author ………………………………………………………………………6

Chapter 1: Stopping to Pause………………………………………………………8

Chapter 2: How are You Juggling? ………………………………………………15

Chapter 3: Being a Beginner, Curiosity & Deliberate Practice ………….…..21

Chapter 4: Pausing into Presence and Acceptance of What Is..……….….26

Chapter 5: Stress to Resiliency …………………………………………………….32

Chapter 6: Noticing Your Breathing ……………………………………………...39

Chapter 7: Energy Bodies & Walking …………………………………….………45

Chapter 8: Triggers, Pacing & Choice …………………………………………..51

Chapter 9: Your Mindset: Fixed or Growth? …………………………..…….....57

Chapter 10: Self-Leadership ………………………………………………………..62

Conclusion ……………………………………………………………………………..66


Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that

space is our power to choose our

response. In our response lies our growth and our

freedom.

~~ Viktor Frankl

Introduction

lad you're choosing The Leadership Pause:

Cultivating Your Life’s Potential™

Today’s leaders and their teams are shaped

in the time-crunched reality of marketplace

opportunities, workplace experiences, and personal life

choices—all evolving

out of an intricate

network of personal

relationships. It’s easy

to become

distracted.

As such, the single

biggest competitive

advantage in

business today is

training one’s

attention on what

matters most.

Future success will depend upon one’s ability to pause.

Let me say that again with a different emphasis. Your

future success will depend upon your ability to pause.

Pause is that momentary space between stimulus and

response that opens possibilities for self-awareness and

conversations to unfold naturally.

G


When we don’t pause, we tend to rush through life, we

don’t even see the roses let alone stop and smell then,

and meaningful conversations just don’t have the

space to occur.

And, since the conversation really is the relationship,

both with ourselves or with others,

how we drop into them, explore

them, sustain them, prolong them

matters---a lot.

Powerful, heartfelt conversations require mindful

attention, listening with one’s whole body and

engaging in inquiry together. It happens with a pause.

The results?

New learning opportunities are generated, new insights

and skillful actions emerge, new futures created.

Definitely, a competitive advantage.

In The Leadership Pause you’ll discover how to cultivate

Pause in your life and explore the reasons it’s essential

to your well-being, your potential, and to your life as a

leader.

You’ll take steps to reflect on the pause and develop a

Pause Practice. You’ll read some tidbits of research

about pausing, stress and resilience, the impact on your

leadership, along with a story or two of how someone

Too often, our lives cease working

because we cease working at life,

because we are unwilling to take responsibility for

things as they are, and to work with

our difficulties.

We don’t understand that it is actually possible to

attain clarity, understanding, and transformation right

in the middle of what is here and now, however,

problematic it may be.

~~Jon Kabat Zinn


used the Pause at Work™, and what happened for

them.

While I'll ask you for 5-10 minutes a day to engage in

the practices of The Leadership Pause, you'll get the

most out of what’s here if you take a few extra minutes

at the end of the practices to reflect on your own

experiences (no "supposed to's" here, only what you're

observing).

Simply notice what shows up as a key take-away of importance for you. Jot down your observations.

Simple. Pause, reflect, write out your experiences. Why bother?

Because we’re drawn to leaders with Presence. They’re self-aware, authentic and actively connect with others. They’re active learners and apply their learning to lead from heart-felt values. They’re grace under pressure and accountable for their choices. Developing a Pause Practice, an intentional, new behavior to expand your awareness and direct your attention, cultivates Presence. Your Presence. Besides, we know that highly successful leaders have

contemplative pause practices. You will too as you

develop your own Leadership Pause.


Ready? Let's get started.

Oops, I nearly forgot.

To make this most useful, I’m including a cheat sheet

right up in front for a quick start with The Leadership

Pause. You’ll still want to read the book, but this page

can be a handy resource for you as you begin.

The Leadership Pause™ is a skill you can develop to grow your Core Presence™. Use the following questions & practices to begin.


The Leadership Pause™ is a skill you can develop to grow your Core Presence™. Use the following questions & practices to begin.

Pause

What happens if you stop, now, tune into the sensations of your breath? Notice.

Beginner’s Mind

What do you observe if you commit to noticing three new things that you didn’t ‘see’ before?

Resiliency

What are your top three Signature Stresses?

Energy

What behaviors energize you most? Zap you of energy?

Mindset

What’s the state of your mind? Open to learning? Slipping into “I know” mind?

Juggling

What commitments are you juggling now? To what end?

Presence

What’s your body telling you about being in the present moment?

Breath

Can you follow your breath through 3 full cycles, picking it up where it’s most vivid for you?

Triggers

What triggers your stress & takes you out of the moment?

Self Mastery

Can you catch yourself being yourself today?


About Chris Johnson

hris Johnson, Psy.D, an experienced

psychologist, speaker, and leadership coach

has worked extensively for over 20 years with

individual leaders and their teams to effectively

grapple with system-wide change.

Dr. Chris believes that creating feedback-rich

environments, where excellence in leadership and

learning has a place to take root, is the future. To that

end, she founded Q4 Consulting Inc to fulfill on her

commitment.

She’s coached executives and managers in

organizations as diverse as health care, finance,

manufacturing, local municipalities, and education.

Together they co-create customized opportunities to

cultivate leadership presence, develop 360° awareness

that facilitates embodied learning, and conversational

skills to deepen competencies. All this to take

embodied action towards results that matter.

Mindfulness--the simple yet powerful capacity to be

awake—serves as the backbone of her customized

consulting and leadership coaching practice.

To that end she’s designed The Core Commitment

Cycle™, a process integrating Awareness, Attention,

and Conversational skills, an innovative offer for teams

seeking to up their game.

C


When she’s not working,

Dr. Chris is likely either gardening, reading a

great book, making art, or at the aikido dojo where

she practices and teaches

the art of peace.

Dr. Chris holds a PsyD. from the Chicago School of

Professional Psychology where she’s taught in both the

Business Psychology and the Executive and Professional

Development Programs.

She’s certified as an ‘Integral Coach’ by New Ventures

West and as a Master Somatic Leadership Coach by

the Strozzi Institute where she’s taught leadership

development.

To expand the reach and impact of mindfulness, Dr.

Chris has offered Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction

(MBSR) classes in the community each quarter for the

past sixteen years.

And currently, as part of her commitment to cultivating

Conscious Businesses, she’s a founding member of the

Executive Team for the Chicago Chapter of Conscious

Capitalism where she’s the Chair of Learning &

Practice.

.


One: Stopping to Pause

fundamental skill of effectively leading

one's life, not to mention a family or a

business, is to learn to Pause.

Simple? Yes; easy, no.

Leading well--on point, with care, in

collaboration with others---requires a balance

between reflection and action to be effective,

powerful, impactful.

Yet, we live in a 24/7 workaday world where the

underlying value to constantly push and

outperform ourselves despite our natural energy

levels, reigns supreme.

To Pause is to interrupt an automatic, typically

out-of-awareness behavior--a thought, an action

or even an emotion--to allow for reflection.

Pausing develops Core Presence.

Now before you go thinking something like, "sure,

if it were that easy don't you think I'd have done

this?" or, "I don't have time to pause, there's so

much work to do!" give yourself a chance to get

started. You won't know just how good this will be

for you until you start having a felt sense vs.

thinking about taking a pause.

A To Pause is to interrupt an automatic,

typically out-of-awareness

behavior to allow for reflection.

Pausing develops Core Presence™


So beyond the commonsensical notion that it

might be a good idea to Pause, what exactly is

The Leadership Pause?

The Leadership Pause is for anyone who leads in

life. It's a ten-step process for intentionally

cultivating your Pause muscles to experience this

moment, (yes this one), fully, now. It involves:

Ø Committing to learning to Pause

Ø Momentarily pausing what you're doing

Ø Focusing your attention, on purpose

Ø Observing something tangible---typically your

breath---and returning to it again and again.

Ø Learning about your signature automatic

reactions: your thinking patterns, your

emotional reactions, your bodily responses,

your actions.

Ø Choosing effective next steps.

In fact, those who fail to learn to Pause, to renew

their energies, do so to their own peril.

Stress research reveals that those who work-

around-the-clock, who don't allow for renewal

and restoration, are prone to illness, disease,

even early death.

Stress increases the neurochemical and electrical

activity in our right pre-frontal cortex and releases

hormones that activate our 'fight or flight or

freeze' reactions. In turn, we go into a state of


Seventy-five percent of adults

reported experiencing

moderate to high levels of stress in the

past month

~~ APA Report on Stress, 2016

heightened alert, that can become a chronic

state if not allowed to 'reset.'

A 2016 survey from the American Psychological

Association yielded some interesting results.

Seventy-five percent of adults reported

experiencing moderate to high levels of stress in

the past month, with 42% reporting that their

stress increased in the past year. Physically, 53%

reported trouble sleeping, resulting in ongoing

fatigue while greater than 60% struggle with

irritability, anger, and decreased levels of energy

and motivation as a result of their stress levels.

Our bodies (including our thinking capacity, our

ability to 'feel' into other's concerns, to take

effective action) require rest to recalibrate our

psychobiological systems, to renew ourselves for

the sake of meeting the challenges of the day.

As you can see, learning to Pause is not simply a

good idea, but physiologically essential as an

antidote to overly high stress and burnout-factors

that can impact any leader.

To begin, here’s your first Pause Practice. Have a

look below at what It involves, then set this aside

to begin (setting an alarm is useful so you don't

have to stop to notice your watch):


Ø Sit, back straight, shoulders relaxed

Ø Close your eyes

Ø Tune your attention to your breath,

wherever you notice it most fully: at your

nose, your chest, or deep in your belly

Ø Then, after a few breaths, drop your

attention to feel your breath at your belly

See if you can keep your attention initially

focused on your breathing cycle for three

minutes.

You’re simply observing the experience of your

own breathing, and then coming back to your

breath with your attention each time it wanders

(it will, trust me on this front).

When your alarm goes off, continue to sit, for a

few moments, and reflect on what occurred.

Curiosity is your friend.

What was your body's response? Were your

shoulders up and high? How's your jaw---tight or

relaxed? What other body sensations did you

notice?

Where did your mind go? To all the to-do

decisions of the day? To your next project? To a

family concern? Blank?

Curiosity is your friend.


What emotions surfaced? Anxiety about that

last-minute order or project due? Irritability with a

colleague or spouse? Excitement at a new

opportunity? Unsure?

Simply observe what occurred without self-

judgement about whatever came up for you.

You're developing a new muscle, the muscle of

attention. Jot down some of your experiences in

the space below. You'll be glad you did at the

end of The Leadership Pause.

Notes: ______________________________________

____________________________________________

____________________________________________

________________________________________________

Pause Tip: One simple way to get started (ok,

you've already begun because you're here!), is

to formally calendar a time to Pause. Yep, put it

in your calendar.

This may seem silly, frivolous even, but it works. It

works because you're in the process of fine-

tuning a skill, one your body already knows how

to do.

If you take the time to book an appointment with

yourself, in your calendar, you're re-committing

each day to Pausing. You're not scheduling over


it because you're too busy! Instead you're

intentionally shifting gears from death exhausting

habits to life-giving practices.

And, if you're ready to be bold schedule in a 2nd

time to Pause in your day. I dare you!

Or, schedule in 30 minutes instead of 15. This will

allow for more transition time to arrive to the

moment, to feel the spaciousness, and to step

into the next moment with a flexible mindset.

Pushing Pause at Work: By Pausing to Slow Down You'll Find More Time

A client of mine, Joe, the VP of Operations at a

large and growing non-profit, incorporated The

Leadership Pause into the start of his day.

He sat at his desk in front of his computer before

he turned it on for the day. He practiced

focusing on his breath, and settling into himself.

Initially skeptical, he kept practicing.

He later reported that while he had, in fact,

missed a day here and there, he noticed that his

early morning, high-stress mood began to shift.

He could 'see' what was truly important to attend

to that day vs. simply reacting to email, phone

calls and the like.


He felt more present to meet his day. His

normally stressed out stomach calmed, and the

quality of his listening changed—others reported

that they felt Joe heard them.

Practice: As you begin your day, spend three

minutes sitting quietly tuning into your breathing.

See if you can keep your attention on your

breath for the full cycle of inhalation and

exhalation. When you notice you’re off,

distracted, preoccupied, simply acknowledge

that fact, and return, again, to the breath. A

timer’s helpful here.

Notes: ______________________________________

____________________________________________

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Two: How’re You Juggling?

lad you stopped to Pause--it's a

powerful leadership move.

You read that correctly--- to Pause is a

powerful leadership move.

As a leader, you steward energy---in your

company, organization, even in your own

family. You will inspire or demoralize others by

how well you work with your own energies

and by how well you focus, galvanize,

invent--even renew-- the collective energies

of those you lead.

Amidst the hustle and bustle of our globally

connected world, we're all challenged to be

superheroes, super bosses, super leaders.

We try to juggle so many responsibilities and

opportunities that we're easily caught up in

the activity at hand, losing sight of what's

important at any given moment.

Or, if we do know what's important to us, our

energies are spread out across our lives, like bits

of confetti floating in the wind. We're often

unsure just how to collect ourselves.

As a leader, you inevitably deal with this 'power

stress' that’s created by a combination of high

G


responsibility, a constant need for self-monitoring,

and addressing the myriad of crises that exist in

day-to-day leadership. These can leave even the

hardiest leader physically, mentally and

emotionally drained.

As a leader, if you don't deal with this power

stress, you may fall prey to what Annie McKee,

managing director at Telios Leadership Institute,

and her colleagues call "the grip of the Sacrifice

Syndrome."

This vicious cycle of overmuch is fueled by being

highly responsible, which can arouse passionate

emotions involved in helping and serving:

concern, interest, resentment, fear, and result in

mental, emotional and physical fatigue of

caring. Sacrifices involved in putting others first,

(the team, the project, the community, etc)

without respite or renewal for your self begin to

deepen. The Sacrifice Syndrome is in full swing!

In addition to dips in self-confidence, energy and

lapsing judgment as the strain wears on, the

impact of this cycle can spread out to others too,

resulting in strained relationships.

The antidote? Being fully engaged, in a present

moment state that requires you to be physically

fit, emotionally connected, mentally focused,

Pause is a part of a larger cycle of work

and renewal, the ebb and flow of life.

It’s not simply a good idea. It’s a required nutrient, like air or water or

food.


and spiritually aligned with a purpose beyond the

immediate interest at hand.

In other words, cultivating the power of Pause.

Why don't we Pause anyway?

We don't take time to Pause because of its

weighty baggage. Take a look at the definition

below.

Pause (poz)

a temporary stop, delay, wait, or rest, especially in speech or action

a cessation of activity because of doubt or to cause to hesitate or be unsure as if from surprise

or doubt

to make a brief stop or delay; wait; hesitate; rest; linger or tarry ~~ Merriam Webster

As you can see, Pause tends to be associated

with uncertainty, doubt, hesitation. Not exactly

what you want more of as you're juggling all

those balls in the air!

Certainly, it looks as though our very language

might be getting in the way of actively Pausing,

yet, as a leader, prone to 'power stress' you can't

sustain your effectiveness if you can't sustain

yourself.


Reclaim Pause. To stop and pause is a leadership

move.

Pause is part of a larger cycle of work and

renewal, the ebb and flow of life. It's not simply a

good idea. It's a required nutrient not unlike air or

water.

Richard Boyatzis, professor of organizational

behavior at the Weatherhead School of

Management, specializes in the study of

leadership.

Good leaders, he says, attain resonance with

those around them through self-awareness, self-

management, social awareness, and relationship

management, all elements of Emotional

Intelligence.

As a good leader, you can easily move to an

"approach" orientation to the task - emotionally

open, engaged and innovative - from an

"avoidance" orientation characterized by

aversion, irritability and close-mindedness.

And, you guessed it, It begins with stopping to

Pause.

Pausing strengthens the tendency towards the

approach mode of mind. This is because it

teaches you to take an interest in all aspects of

Pausing interrupts your automatic

reactions to life’s events and the stories that flow

from those reactions.


your experience and to "approach" it, treating it

with acceptance and curiosity.

Pausing interrupts your automatic reactions to

life’s events and the stories that flow from those

reactions.

Pausing allows your mind to take a break, and to

be with life as it is vs. how we’d like it to be.

To Pause is a powerful leadership move.

Pause Tip: Belly Breaths

As you go through your day today, simply stop,

drop your attention to your breath at your belly

and take three deep breaths.

You have no other agenda other than to Pause.

Look up and out at your surroundings; what do

you notice? What’s the quality of connection you

notice with yourself? With others?

Do this practice three times throughout the day

and reflect on this practice as you complete your

day. Answer the question, “What did I learn?”

Notes: ________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

To Pause is a powerful

leadership move.


"I never do anything without an

agenda," while others nodded in

agreement.

Pushing Pause at Work: No Agenda

Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the Center for

Mindfulness at UMass Medical Center, tells of

leading a retreat for business executives in

Chicago. He began the day by asking these

leaders to simply 'sit and be, with no agenda,' to

let go of whatever expectations and stories they

had brought into the workshop. And, to simply

feel, or sense, into how things were for them in

that moment.

The results were astonishing.

A few began to tear up, one executive telling

him, "I never do anything without an agenda,"

while others nodded in agreement.

Seems that simply encouraging folks to Pause

and 'sit without agenda,' released grief, tension,

and frustration at not having--starving even for--

quiet, for space and stillness in their lives.

How about you? Can you sit still without an

agenda for an hour? A day? Try it and record

your learning below.

Notes: ______________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

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Three: Beginner's Mind, Curiosity & Deliberate Practice

ongratulations! Stop, Pause, and

acknowledge that you've just

committed to being a 'beginner' in this

new practice called Pausing.

By definition, being a beginner involves stumbling

around a bit in attempts to learn something new.

To learn something new, to create a new habit

is tough. If you've ever set out a New Year's

resolution, you'll know how hard this can be to

do.

Why is it hard?

Well, it might be that you're not really committed

to the resolution.

Or, perhaps you're not stopping to pause and be

fully in the new commitment.

Or, maybe you’re simply not giving it enough

time and patience to develop, or what I'd call

letting the practice work on you.

We're so often in a hurry to see results that we

sabotage ourselves. We tell ourselves "I don't

have enough time," or, “it shouldn’t take this

long,” or, “it won’t work anyway.”

Sound familiar?

C Being a beginner involves stumbling

around a bit in attempts to learn something new.


In the European Journal of Social Psychology

researchers reported results from 96 people on

the length of time it took for a new, daily

practiced behavior to become automatic,

without having to consciously think about it (or

embodied-in-action).

Behaviors varied from drinking a glass of water

each morning to running for 15 minutes a day to

doing 50 sit-ups before breakfast.

Results were inconsistent in terms of actual time it

takes to develop a new habit. And, as you might

have guessed, the length of time varied with the

difficulty of the behavior: it took less long to

incorporate drinking a glass of water each day

(about 8 days) than to do 50 sit ups each day

before breakfast (about 100 days).

Research tells us that with 300 repetitions of a

new action you produce body memory, that is,

you can do the new move from memory. While

3000 repetitions produce embodiment, or what

we could call our ‘new normal’ or new second

nature.

What helps in the arduous (and tedious) process

of sustaining effort is to tap into the passion of

your commitment: how much do you want to

develop greater presence, have an impact, live

fully?

Research tells us that with 300

repetitions of a new action you produce body

memory, that is, you can do the new move from memory. While 3000 repetitions

produce embodiment, or what we could call our ‘new

normal.’


It’s your passion (and commitment to practice)

that will provide the necessary energy to achieve

exceptional levels of ability, even the ability to

pause and be present.

Also, results indicated that early practice was

rewarded with greater increases in automaticity,

or new, embodied behavior.

So, take heart, your early commitment here will

pay off.

Pause Tip: Did you know that back in the

1950's clock makers began incorporating

something we now know as the 'snooze' on the

alarm clock? Who knew? The way the

mechanistic gears were arranged allowed for

slightly less snooze time than 10 minutes, or about

9 minutes. As a result, once you hit the snooze

button the 'snooze' was set to 'go off' in 9

minutes.

You can use this 'Snooze Technique' to your

advantage to help you begin to Pause.

You might wonder at Pausing first thing in the

morning, because isn't it about learning to Pause

in the midst of a busy day you ask?

Yes. And, what better way than to begin your

day than with an intentional Pause.

New research shows that

outstanding performance is the product of

years of deliberate

practice and coaching, not of any innate talent

or skill. Harvard Business Review,

July 2007, The Making of an Expert, Ericsson et al.


So, hit that Snooze button, and lie there-awake--

focusing on your breathing, the sounds in the

morning, and how it feels to lie there, quiet, still

alert. When it feels right, sit up to vertical.

Such an early morning Pause can help you

intentionally greet the day, and determine your

mood vs. 'getting up on the wrong side of the

bed.'

Pushing Pause at Work: Snooze Here Too

You can use the "Snooze Technique" here too,

though it'll likely look a bit different.

What do you really do once at work? Use the

space below under ‘Notes’ to record your

reflections to these questions and the ones

below.

Notice your first 3 moves once you get into the

office. Drop the briefcase? Check e-mail? Grab

that first cup of coffee?

Do those actions serve to help you be more

present to the moment, or are you catapulted

into tomorrow before you even get started in

your day?

Regardless of what you actually do in those first 3

moves, you can bring the Snooze Technique in


by pausing to pay attention to your first 9

minutes, on purpose, observing yourself as you

move through your current routine.

The trick here will be to observe those nine

minutes without judgment. Or, given that our

minds are soooo busy, notice your self-judgments

as you’re observing.

Don’t forget to record your learning below.

Notes: ______________________________________

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Four: Pausing into Presence, Acceptance of ‘What Is’

y slowing down to Pause you interrupt

your own automatic reactions to

whatever life happens to be throwing

your way at any given moment.

By slowing down to Pause you're practicing

collecting yourself, presencing yourself in this very

moment.

It’s only in this moment that you can make

critical, informed decisions and take effective

action.

By slowing down to Pause, you get

yourself on track to renew your central

nervous system, the amazing

psychobiological system you are, that

regulates your energies.

You've likely heard of the 'fight-flight-

freeze' syndrome, the body's built-in,

factory loaded mechanism for dealing

with stress and threat.

Like a zebra on the savannah, once we

perceive a threat, our survival system

kicks into high gear, flood gates open in the

central nervous system, and stress hormones--

adrenaline, cortisol, noradrenaline--begin to

cascade through the body directing us toward

B


Some think stress

motivates people to perform at

higher levels. This is only true for the first 90 seconds after the shock of a

potential failure. If stress

and fear continue

beyond this threshold, it

will result in a rapid decline

in performance.

Make no mistake. A

brain under stress is

incapable of sustaining

peak performance.

~~~Don Joseph Goewey

actions that provide us safety and connection vs.

certain death (at least that’s how it can feel.).

The result?

You've felt it.

Your heart rate increases, your pupils dilate for

greater visual acuity, your hearing becomes

sharper, and your peripheral awareness

increases as you scan the environment looking

for additional trouble.

Whether you're aware of it or not, your digestion

slows to allow blood flow to your major muscle

groups so you can literally escape the danger at

hand.

Your thinking is momentarily hyper-focused,

overridden by the threat of the moment. Yet in

time, if the threat persists, you’ll become

irrational, overwhelmed, your judgment impaired.

You see, your brain can’t tell if the lion in pursuit is

real or not.

Sounds like a typical day at the office, yes?

Trouble is, unless you’re on safari, you're not likely

out on the savannah fearing the lion's approach.

Instead, you're in the office or the board room, at

a child's soccer game or the PTA with screaming

parents. Your centuries old fight-flight-freeze


reaction isn't really required in any of those

situations, despite how unpleasant your current

situation may be. And, that old reaction may

actually be hindering your best performance.

The antidote to our body's overreaction--out of

context of a real, life-threatening experience---is

to invoke the relaxation response on purpose.

The fight-flight--freeze syndrome activates the

sympathetic nervous system which acts as the

gas to rev up your system. It cannot, however,

co-exist with the relaxation response. Activating

the parasympathetic nervous system is akin to

putting the brake on your reaction.

And, you guessed it, Pushing Pause allows you to

invoke the relaxation response by paying

attention to yourself, and your sensations, right

now. It allows you to be with ‘what is’ right now. It

allows you to ask yourself, ‘what pace is required

in this situation?’

Pushing Pause allows you to reset, re-calibrate

the stress hormones coursing through our bodies,

re-establish critical thinking, and relax into what

is actually occurring v.s. your fear of what might

be, or could be, occurring. Big difference.

Pause Tip: The quickest way into the moment is

to notice your physical sensations

It’s only in this moment that we

can make critical, informed

decisions and take effective

action.


There's a portion of your cerebral cortex, called

the insula, that registers the internal sensations in

your body that you're likely not conscious of at

any given moment: balance, motor movements

(think swallowing), eye & hand coordination,

blood pulsing especially during exertion, non-

painful skin sensations like heat/coolness,

language, even empathy and compassion.

In short, this brain function integrates your body's

array of experiences and produces for you an

emotionally relevant context for your sensory

experience.

Three areas to pay attention to, sensation-wise

include: temperature, pressure, movement. Some

examples follow.

You may notice varying temperatures in different

spots in your body e.g. your hands are cold as

you prep for that stress-filled meeting this

afternoon though you're generally warm.

Pressure can take the form of a tightening or

contraction e.g. that stiff neck you've been

noticing has become painful to the point you're

ready to call the massage therapist for an

appointment.

Noticing the pulsing of your blood in your heart or

noticing the stream of your breath at your belly


are both examples of attending to inner

movement.

Pushing Pause will allow you to tune in to yourself,

on purpose, to turn up the volume on your

awareness, take actions most suited to you in the

moment.

Pushing Pause at Work: From Story To

Sensations

The Director of Marketing in an academic

institution, let's call her Susan, came into our

coaching sessions with stories upon stories of how

the new marketing campaign couldn't possibly

fly, how she didn't feel 'heard' in the executive

meetings where key brand decisions were

discussed, how resources were denied to her

department, etc.

She felt miserable, alternating between being

overwhelmed and being angry at--well,

everyone.

While true that we all live inside of 'stories' and

the ‘what-if's’ of business, it's important to be able

to Push Pause and catch ourselves in the midst of

the juicy story we're currently telling.

As Susan began to Practice Pause, she’d catch

herself in a story, take a breath, step back to

take in more internal and external information.


First, she learned to tune into her physical

sensations, particularly her breath. Then she

learned to take three deep breaths and direct

her attention, literally, to the soles of her feet.

Next, she’d ask a series of questions. “What was

the context of the meeting?” “What basis in fact

was there for each obstacle (vs. simply her fears

at a campaign or project not going well)?”

“Who else was in the room?” “Was I open to

them and their contribution?” “How did I

actually present myself to be heard?”

Lastly, she could determine how she wanted to

proceed in the discussion and the mood she

wanted to proceed from for the conversation.

Overall, Susan reported feeling more 'in control'

of her Self while engaging with others at work.

Practice: Pause and tune into the current story

you're living n, the one that’s contributing to your

stress. Center yourself first in your sensations and

then shift focus to the realities of the situation vs.

your feelings about the situation. Spend a few

moments reflecting and jot your learning below.

Notes: ______________________________________

____________________________________________

____________________________________________

_______________________________________________

If you're over-stressed, not

attending to the current story you're living

within, it's important to

Pause, center yourself first in

your sensations and then shift focus to the

realities of the situation vs. your feelings about the situation.

A distinction worth noticing.


Five: Stress to Resiliency

f you've stopped to Pause for the past five

days in a row you're clearly past the mid-point,

and on your way to increased resiliency and

choice.

What have you observed in your five days of

Pausing?

Early on in my career I found I had a problem,

one that shook me up quite a bit, one that

reflected my drive for results. It taught me a lot,

and it increased my resilience.

Let me tell you how. And, remember, I hadn't

learned how to Pause yet.

I'll admit to being driven and self-competitive like

a lot of leaders with ideas about where to go

and how to get there.

I developed a set of painful, irritating, and

embarrassing symptoms: chronic itchy legs. Not

jumpy legs, but itchy legs---itchy to the point of

flaming red bumps that kept me up at night,

scratching (like I said, embarrassing to admit).

These symptoms went on for a few weeks before

I just couldn't stand it any longer. I consulted my

physician.

I


I was convinced I'd developed an allergy or at

least was having an allergic reaction (both good

guesses, by the way, but wrong) even though I

could think of nothing---nothing physical---that

was different in those few weeks.

After conducting a series of allergy tests---

thankfully I wasn't allergic to anything--the doctor

concluded that I was suffering from the effects of

chronic stress. Her diagnosis? Contact dermatitis.

Ha!

I was not happy, convinced she was wrong!

You see, I was decidedly not stressed---at least

that was the story I told myself anyway! And,

while the good doctor recommended a stress

management program, which I thought was

absurd (I was then teaching such a course at a

large financial house!), I went my way, filling the

benadryl prescription, but not addressing the

stress.

It took the bumps a few months to clear up, and

all the while I was befuddled at my doctor’s

recommendation.

Hindsight being what it is, I could later 'see' that

working two jobs, while completing an

advanced degree, and moving to a new home

just a few weeks before had placed me high on

the stress scale.


However, I couldn't 'see' it because I:

a) didn't want to view myself as stressed out;

b) believed that hard work and extra hours--for a

good cause no less--would prevail (I was quite

attached to my belief about hard work which, of

course, contributed to my stress. More on mindset

shortly);

c) hadn't taken time to pause to really reflect on

what my body clearly knew to be true: I was

indeed stressed and my body needed more

attention from me.

Pause Tip: Learn Your Own Stress

Symptoms

Learn your own stress symptoms, those you keep

overriding and that keep you from pausing in the

moment to really notice what's really occurring.

As you Practice Pausing today, tense and then

relax different muscles of your body, one by one.

Tense and hold each for 5-10 seconds, feeling

into your sensations, before moving on.

Begin with your face, move down your shoulders

and out to your arms and hands. Then expand

your awareness and move down your torso and


ribs, then notice your butt in the chair, and on

down to your thighs, knees, calves, your feet.

When we're stressed we tend either to get way

out ahead of ourselves, or stuck in a past

situation, ruminating.

And, if we're not yet in the Practice of Pausing to

really pay attention to what's actually occurring

in this very moment, we miss all kinds of

opportunities, not the least of which is to

enhance our leadership in life by being more

consistently in the moment.

At the end of Practicing Pause today, check out

yourself in these domains: physical, mental,

emotional, and action.

Do this without judgment, simply noticing your

stress symptoms like you'd notice the time on your

wristwatch-with detached awareness.

Are you tired, in pain, hungry? Any particular

physical bugaboos showing up e.g. shoulder

pain, headaches, GI issues, sleeping

disturbances?

What's the tenor of your self-thoughts? Moving

towards a Relaxation Response, or beating you

up, sounding like, "I should've . . . known, I was

such a knucklehead"?


How's your decision-making today? Impulsive,

thoughtful, numbed out?

What mood are you in now? Crabby, rushed,

calm, anxious, optimistic? How long's your fuse

just now?

Are you pushing too hard, ready to give up,

procrastinating, moving along at just the right

pace?

Push Pause at Work: Re-Align, Re-Set, Re-

Start

Reflect for a moment about those times

you wished you'd Paused, or maybe

noticing how you act when you're having

'a really bad day.'

Are you short with people? Do you go for

a coffee? Maybe a sweet? Do you get

brain fog, synapses moving slowly, maybe

troubled with forgetfulness and not

accessing the details you need?

Jim, a CEO client of mine in a round-the-

clock, highly regulated business, had no

idea that symptoms of stress were

catching up with him. He simply wasn't pausing

to notice.

He spent 14 hours a day at work never leaving

before 7 p.m. He'd gained over 65 pounds in the


past year. He barked at his employees--which he

hated himself for--yet was left wondering why no

one listened to him.

Once he Paused and took a self-inventory he

was shocked! He noticed that he subsisted on a

diet of high fat foods, always felt tired (of

course!), and that his anger at a former business

partner had spilled over to his employees.

Quickly he determined to pay attention to

himself in a different way, re-aligning with what

was important to him. He re-set and shifted a few

key behaviors, like leaving work at 5 p.m. and

beginning the day with a protein breakfast so he

could have more energy. And, he re-started on

his commitment to what mattered most to him.

His efforts proved successful.

Practice: Observe all your stress 'symptoms,'

listing them on a sticky note or a brightly colored

3x5 card. Post them in a prominent place where

you'll see them during the day. Look at the list

every day for a week. Jot what you’re observing

in the ‘Notes’ below.

Then, when you observe a symptom popping up

(or a cluster, since they often occur together)

and notice you're less productive, maybe caught

up in the Sacrifice Syndrome mentioned earlier,

Pause (no you're not wasting time, merely re-


setting your meter), re-align with yourself and

your body, re-set your intentions on what’s really

true for you in this moment, and re-start again,

moving toward what’s important to you.

Repeat this awareness practice over the

upcoming weeks, allotting time for brief pauses

to reflect. Jot your learnings below.

Notes: ______________________________________

____________________________________________

____________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

____________________________________________

____________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________


Chapter Six: Noticing Your Breathing

oday when you Push Pause, notice your

breathing.

Most people look at me funny when I ask

them to pay attention to their breathing. Yes, if

you're reading this you're breathing, so, you

might ask, what

could be so

important about

paying attention to

your breathing?

You might think that

all breath is the

same--what most of

us think--until we pay

attention to our

breathing.

By nature's design, healthy breathing is circular

and flowing, much like the ebb and flow of a

wave as it moves in and then out from the

shoreline.

The Pause lives at the resting phase of the in and

out breath; Pause can be called "a point of

stillness."

When we bring our full attention to the Pause

we're sending a signal to our central nervous

T


system that it can rest, thereby eliciting the

relaxation response mentioned earlier.

Pauses that last less than 3 seconds invite fatigue

and distressing stress. Such a short pause rate

can correlate with anxiety panic attacks, heart

conditions, high blood pressure, weight problems,

being chronically stressed out, and Type A, driven

personality.

No Pause, no rest. With too short a pause, your

body never really rests, not even while sleeping.

Elsa Gindler, a German gymnastics teacher and

somaticist in the early 20th century--and a

pioneer on the importance of breath to the

body---learned this early in life.

She healed herself from an attack of tuberculosis

by concentrating her attention on breathing with

her healthy lung while resting her diseased lung.

She tells us that the Pause is "the vital preparation

for what is to follow."

What follows from a Pause?

When we're racing around the office at

breakneck speed, not pausing to reflect and

renew, our breathing will shift and begin to

reflect our actions.

This can result in all sorts of mischief over time,

with over 200 physical conditions and disease

Pause is the vital

preparation for what is to follow.

~~Elsa Gindler


processes related to incorrect breathing. Dr.

Andrew Weil states that "Improper breathing is a

common cause of ill health."

Findings from a 30-year longitudinal study of over

5,200-people, reveal that one's pulmonary

function measure (how well you’re breathing) is

an indicator of general health, vigor and literally

impacts your potential life span.

Five facts about breathing that you should know:

o Shallow breathing is harmful to your body.

o Shallow breathing goes hand-in-hand with

experiencing negative emotions.

o Deep belly breathing balances out your

acid/alkaline ratio.

o Laughter engages healthy breathing (it's fun

too!)

o Deep breathing can lower your blood

pressure.

Pause Tip

Pause, inhale in through your nose, exhale out

through your mouth. Pay close attention to the

Pause that lives between the in-breath and out-

breath.

Linger there a moment observing your

experience.


Ø More tense? More relaxed?

Ø What was the cadence of that breath?

Ø Was the breath shallow or deep?

Ø What parts of your body were involved in

breathing?

Next, as you breathe in, then out, elongate your

exhalation. Breathe in on a 5 count, out on a 7

count. Repeat this 3 or 4 times, and then let

breath simply happen.

Reflect on what you observed in your breathing.

Now this time breathe shallowly on purpose, from

the top of your chest cavity, not allowing a deep,

full inhalation.

Notice the effects on you when you do this.

Ø Feel light-headed? Faint?

Ø A bit of anxiety in the chest?

Ø Notice any so-called negative emotions

arise?

Lastly, go back and repeat the 5/7 count again,

breathing in through your nose, out through your

mouth three or four times.

Then, go ahead and allow breath to simply

happen, though keep your attention on your

breath at your belly. Keep observing your breath

and returning to it when you get distracted.


Our breathing not only connects us with the

outer world, but it also connects and aligns our

body, mind, emotions, and spirit.

Our breath will always show us, if we can be

receptive to it, the various forces acting on us in

the moment.

Attending to our breathing can even show us

where the sticky, uninvited experiences and

emotions—those we don’t want to face—live

and resonate in our bodies.

First, by following our breathing we can stabilize

and strengthen our inner attention.

Second, our breathing reflects everything else

that is occurring in and around us, thus proving a

powerful tool of self-observation.

Jot your learnings from this Pause Tip in the

‘Notes’ below.

Pushing Pause at Work: It’s the Small Stuff

By definition, Sean is a busy guy as VP of

Operations in a professional services firm. Each

week for eight weeks he chose to focus his

attention, to Pause, and breathe during a

mundane daily task (before you open your office

door, as you step into your car, you get the idea)


to see if he could really incorporate Pausing into

his full schedule.

For example, for a couple of weeks he chose to

stop and Pause, and take a deep full breath just

prior to answering his ringing phone v.s.

immediately picking it up while still working on

the document in front of him.

He was amazed!

After consistently practicing he reported two

things: it was hard to remember to stop as he

was so practiced at automatically grabbing up

the phone.

Yet, when he did so he realized that Pausing, and

breathing on purpose, actually increased his

attention to the caller and to that space in

between inhalation and exhalation. He reported

being more clear-headed in response to his

caller’s concerns.

Though it sounds like a small step--and it is—

Sean’s consistency in this practice opened up an

awareness that he, himself, could slow down his

day and improve his listening, simply by Pausing

to breathe!

Practice: Pick a mundane task—answering the

phone, opening your office door, opening your

mail, etc—and bring attention to Pausing before


you complete the task. Notice what occurs for

your as you intentionally slow down your actions.

Jot your learnings down in the ‘Notes’ below.

Notes: ______________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

Seven: Energy Bodies & Walking

e are energies bodies. We measure

energies in blood pressure, heart

rates, and pulmonary output to

name a few. How we manage our

energies, not our time, will

determine how well we'll perform.

Jim Loehr, principal at LGE

Performance Systems and author of

The Power of Full Engagement,

reminds us of a few key points about

energy:

1) Energy diminishes both with

overuse and underuse, requiring a

balance between energy

expenditure and energy renewal.

2) Increasing our energy, building

W


our capacity, requires that we commit to pushing

beyond our limits, much like elite athletes.

3) The key to sustained high performance is

contained in positive energy rituals, or what I've

been calling 'developing new practices' toward

what matters most to you.

Pausing allows us to notice, with directed

attention, that our bodies are a great source of

wisdom that can guide us into the next moment

if we listen.

Pause Tip: Take a Walk

As you Pause today, take it outside and walk.

Walk around the block, feel your head clear as

you take a deep breath, feel your breath at your

belly, breathing in through your nose, out through

your mouth. Walking as practice.

As leaders, with so much to do, it's easy to get

caught moving through our days with our

attention always focused on the next task at

hand. This can look like head down, laser

attention, squinty eyes.

A part of the brain, the cerebellum, coordinates

the integration of movement, emotion, and


action. It gets activated when we move, when

we walk.

What would happen if you lifted your head up,

took another deep breath, relaxed your

shoulders and jaw, softened your eyes as you

walked?

What if you shift from a focused attention to a

wide-angle view, taking in more of your

environment?

How much of life are you missing when you're not

pausing to notice?

Or, when you do stop to Pause, where do you

most notice your energies inside of your own

skin? around you? in the environment?

Taking another breath, notice what incoming

information from your senses emerges.

Pushing Pause at Work: From Busyness to

Center

After a few moments of Pausing today, recall a

typical busy day for you, for what I call the

‘Busyness Practice.’

Turn up the volume on the busyness—notice

what keeps you moving soooo fast.


What time is it? What are you doing? Are you at

work? At home? Who's there with you?

Notice how you’re talking to yourself. What are

you saying to yourself?

Now let go of all the stories in your mind . . . and

tune in to your body’s energy, noticing what and

where you sense it inside yourself.

What’s the quality of your energy like right now?

Are there butterflies in your stomach? Tightness in

your chest? Are you at ease? Tense?

Stay with whatever arises for a time and notice all

that's going on inside of your own experience

without judging yourself.

Of course, emotions may arise, so allow them to

rise, crest, dissipate naturally, without fighting

them.

Simply observe your thoughts, your sensations,

your emotions without any judgment as to

whether they're good or bad.

What matters is your willingness to be aware and

stay present to your experiences.

At a workshop for leaders in health care,

attendees were asked to focus their attention to

their own ‘busyness.’ Common feelings evoked in


this 'busyness' practice included anxiety, fear,

sadness, grief, loneliness, and anger.

Practice: Can you shift from thinking about the

length of your to-do list and how busy you are,

which reinforces staying your head, and drop

your attention down into your heart?

From there can you drop down into your belly to

feel the emotional and sensory reality of busyness

in your body?

If you're willing to do that, to Pause and follow

your sensations here, a space outside of time

can open for you.

From there you can

use your felt

experience of

sensations and

emotions to do the

work of informing,

energizing, and

motivating you to live

your life in alignment

with what matters most

to you in work and life.

Of course, we often

'stay busy' as a

distraction from

unpleasant emotions, facts of the matter, and


those dirty details of life from coming up too

strong.

It takes courage to face our experiences,

especially if unpleasant.

As you Pause you may notice opportunities to

address matters you long thought were

complete.

Or, you may 'see' difficult choices to that you

need to face into (remember my story of 'not

being stressed?!)

Observe how much energy can you free up by

noticing and addressing what needs to be

addressed.

Jot your learnings in the ‘Notes’ below.

Notes: ______________________________________

____________________________________________

____________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________


________________________________________________

____________________________________________

____________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

____________________________________________

Eight: Triggers, Pacing & Choice

ou've stopped to Pause and noticed your

breathing. You've stopped to Pause and

notice your stress symptoms. Today, stop

to Pause and pay attention to your triggers.

You know, those 'things' that tick you off, set off a

domino effect of stresses and stories. Those things

that trigger you and take you away from

whatever's present in this moment.

We all have triggers. The

trick is to know them,

catch them, re-center

yourself and your energies,

Y


To move

faster

slow

down

and re-direct the traffic of your day.

Do you fill your days completely, schedule

meetings back to back, squeezing every last

minute out of your day?

Many of us do, to our detriment.

We live in such a Type A culture. We drive hard,

we drive fast, we drive with a sole focus on

performance that it's easy to get caught up in

the vortex of busyness we call business.

At this point, of course, our breathing shifts, our

muscles tense, we quit noticing what's around us.

We run on empty.

However, it doesn't have to be this way.

Living in this culture we tend to think we must be

faster (read: beat the 'competition'), smarter

(read: be the 'expert' in our field), better (read:

better than the other guy).

Yet, it just isn't so. None of this drive, drive, drive is

sustainable on a day-to-day basis.

By Pausing to notice what's going on inside

yourself, around you with your team members or

colleagues, in the larger community of your

marketplace you'll begin to see some different

truths.


To move faster you actually have to slow down.

To be smarter you'll have to be open to learning

and inquiring about those around you including

your people, your customers.

To be better you'll want to shift your personal

focus to that wide-angle view and give back to

those who support you.

To begin, however, you'll need an accurate view

of yourself, noticing just what triggers take you

out of this moment and catapult you into

cerebral craziness of Type A thinking: “I must be

faster, smarter, better.”

Pause Tip: By Pausing We Self-Correct

By Pausing, we can self-correct, downshift our

pace, and move more effectively through our

lives.

Slow down on purpose today. Pause and bring to

mind one of your triggers and the underlying

belief that supports it.

Listed below are a few common triggering

beliefs.

Ø I need to be 'right'

Ø What’s the right way to do X?


Ø I can’t afford to lose face.

Ø I’ll be 'found out if I speak up.'

Ø I’ll be hurt if I say anything.

Ø Something bad will happen or I’ll

lose something or someone important.

Turn up the dial on the trigger, noticing both your

sensations and your emotions as you do so.

What are they? When and where do they show

up most frequently?

What beliefs drive your triggers?

On purpose, allow yourself to let the rising

energy of the trigger dissipate by using your

breath to do this. Reflect on what your learning is

teaching you. Jot your learning in the ‘Notes’

below.

Notes: ______________________________________

____________________________________________

____________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________


Pushing Pause at Work

Derek, general manager at a global

environmental company, is mentally quick,

likeable, focused, action-oriented, and has a

hair-trigger temper, reacting quickly to almost all

incoming information!

His colleagues and direct reports called him

'defensive.' This accurate truth kept Derek

moving at too quick a pace, kept him from being

an optimal performer.

In coaching Derek over an 9-

month period we focused on

pace by first recognizing his own

triggers.

Derek needed to slow down in

order 'see' what was going on

around him vs. simply reacting to

each moment as if everything

was a crisis.

We began with a simple

exercise: He paused to notice his

triggers, observing the common belief among

each of them.

Two beliefs 'drove' his reactions.

1) ‘There's a right way to do this.'


1) ‘I have to work hard—always.’

These beliefs drove his body—he was chronically

tensed, to the point of exhaustion. They drove his

emotions—he was consistently impatient and

irritable. They drove his actions—he was hard

driving both with himself and his direct reports.

By tuning into his triggers, Derek recognized his

exhaustion, how he contributed to it, how it

fueled his defensiveness. A relief to know!

By practicing Pause three (3) times a day,

keeping his triggers in sight, Derek could then

choose to 'let go' of his triggered reaction---in

that moment---pace himself, and to do

something else that was more effective, efficient,

on target.

Derek learned to slow down.

Within a few months his colleagues and direct

reports were noticing a difference. He smiled

more. He engaged them with questions more

readily. He incorporated their ideas about where

best to move the business. He reported 'feeling

more clear- headed, better.'

He was on track to be faster, smarter, better. On

track for optimal performance.

How about you?


Practice: Pause for a few moments. Bring to

mind a situation that triggers you. Observe your

body’s reactions as you simply recall your own

reactions. How’s your breath, now? How would

pacing help you here?

Jot your learnings in the ‘Notes’ below.

Notes: ______________________________________

____________________________________________

____________________________________________

Nine: Your Mindset, Fixed or Growth?

Our world is rapidly changing. To

engage in what some have

labelled a ‘VUCA world’--volatile

uncertain, complex and

ambiguous--requires agility,

nimbleness, a willingness to ‘not

know’ or ‘be attached’ to set

outcomes while still setting goals.

Such a stance will enable us to

shift gears quickly and efficiently in

response to changing circumstances.

One of most important reasons for knowing our

triggers (beyond managing them more


effectively) is that they reflect our existing

mindset for dealing with this increasing

turbulence, or what the Center for Creative

Leadership has called “perpetual whitewater.”

Surprisingly, triggers can serve as a hidden

doorway into the values and beliefs that

comprise our mindset, and ultimately our identity.

At the threshold to a deeper understanding of

ourselves as leaders, triggers can propel us

through the doorway to new learning, despite

not always being pleasant. Especially important

for those of us attempting to lead in today’s

world.

You likely know this to be true.

Psychologist, Carol Dweck, a well-known

psychologist at Stanford, has been studying the

phenomenon of mindset for years.

She’s found that regardless of the baseline ability

Mother Nature happened to bestow on any one

of us, nurture (effort and attitude) can produce

extraordinary gains in ability.

With a ‘fixed’ or acquired mindset, we tend to

believe that our basic qualities, like intelligence

or talent, are fixed traits. And as a result, we can

spend lots of time documenting our smarts and

talents instead of developing them.

A growth mindset

transforms and expands our mind itself by stretching it,

challenging it, and evolving to

a more expansive level

complexity.


This fixed mindset also sets us up to believe that

our innate talent alone creates success—without

much effort. Not so much.

A more fluid, or ‘growth’ mindset allows that our

most basic abilities can be developed through

dedication and hard work, with good brains and

talent-out-of-the-box simply serving as the

starting point. This mindset creates an engaged

love of learning that results in the resiliency

essential for great accomplishments.

Unlike a fixed mindset, which just acquires and

adds new knowledge to an already existing way

of making sense of the world (without changing

any of our

underlying

fundamental

assumptions), a

growth mindset

transforms and

expands our mind

itself by stretching it,

challenging it, and

evolving to a more

expansive level

complexity.

Like an athlete who knows the burn of pushing his

muscles to make them stronger, the leader who


The illiterate of the future

are not those who

cannot read and write, but those that

cannot learn,

unlearn, and re-learn.

~~Alvin Toffler

trains and grows her mind also knows the

discomfort of stretching beyond her mental,

emotional and embodied limits.

Contrary to popular opinion, as we develop over

the course of our careers, we don’t tend to

become more adept or proficient but rather less

so, despite our experience and ‘expertise.’

This notion on first blush seems counterintuitive.

Yet, research by Anders Ericsson and his

colleagues, who study performance across in a

wide variety of fields--from the arts to the

sciences, athletics, and music--found that gifted

performers are almost always made, not born.

Seems that the journey to excellent performance

requires passionate commitment, a dash of

struggle and sacrifice, topped off with the

honesty of grounded assessments that come

from wise coaches and mentors.

Yet, how you view learning e.g. acquired and

fixed, or fluid and adaptive, will impact the ease

of working with new information and varying

circumstances. Do you become overly stressed

out and triggered, or able to handle new events

with ease?


Willingness to learn, and to challenge your

mindset will impact your choices and your

practices.

Surfacing your mindset via the doorway of

triggers allows greater self-awareness and growth

to occur. Then you can employ those practices

designed to improve your competencies through

ongoing efforts and experiences, regular

feedback, and deep learning.

Pause Practice: Triggers Open Door to Mindset

Pause for a moment, and breathe slowly for a bit,

settling yourself.

Recall a situation where you were triggered. A

situation where your automatic reaction to stress

or threat showed up, maybe in spades.

Allow the recollection to be as clear as possible

(again this may not be comfortable—simply

notice without judgment).

While we’re in the middle of reacting to a trigger

it’s likely, whether we’re aware of it or not, that

some internal line was inadvertently, or even

purposefully, crossed.

Reflect for a few moments on the sensations of

your triggered reaction. Keep breathing.


Tune into the value that the trigger surfaced for

you. What’s the belief about how things ‘should

be’ that showed up? Jot your learning in ‘Notes’

below.

Notes: _________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

Ten: Self-Leadership

You're nearing the home stretch with The

Leadership Pause.

By now you're likely noticing an internal shift in

your awareness, maybe even observing that your

mood is a bit lighter, your mental faculties more

on point.

And while you knew that stress was working on

you, you may be amazed at just how much

calmer and energized you are as you've been

involved in the challenge and Practice of

Pausing each day.

All of this by practicing a simple Pause.

Stopping to pause allows us to take note of

ourselves (our sensing, feeling, thinking selves)

and the environment around us (people,

situations, landscape).

Stopping to pause allows

us to take note of

ourselves, others and

the environment around us.


As a leader, the more keenly attuned you are to

your 'lived' experience, to 'what's important?' and

to your Self, the more effective you'll be in

moving your work forward.

As a leader, your primary source of power - what

makes others really want

to follow you - comes not

from your position or rank,

but from those qualities

that enable you to

connect, inspire, and

engage others toward

effective action.

As a leader, you've

begun a practice in

Pausing that will allow

you greater access to

your energies, focused mental acuity, more joy in

your life at work and home as you focus on what

matters most.

Pushing Pause at Work: Catching Yourself

While implementing a large-scale leadership

coaching initiative, a training colleague, Todd,

humorously stated, "you have to catch yourself

being yourself to move toward what you want in

life."

Catch yourself being yourself. Really!


I don't know about you, but catching myself

being myself hasn't always been a great time,

especially as a leader!

And, you can't do without stopping to Pause.

As you pause to catch yourself, you'll inevitably

notice what you're practicing, your habits of

mind, mood, and action that make you, well,

you!

To pause and catch yourself

can stir a bit of discomfort

and questions:

Can I admit to foibles in my

leadership?

What impact will it have if I

admit to 'not knowing' e.g.

what to do, when to do it,

how to go about it, etc?

Can vulnerability help or hurt me, my team, my

network, my organization over all?

What do I do with the emotions that get stirred

inside of me?

Pause Tip

As you've been stopping to Pause, noticing your

own experiences, listening both internally to your

own intuition, and externally to those around you,


you've likely become more skillful in attuning to

the following three behaviors. Check in with

yourself with the following questions:

1) Self-Correction--Once you've caught yourself

becoming reactive or being unaware of the

situation around you, can you more easily stop,

pause, and correct your responses to be in line

with your values?

2) Self-Acceptance--In catching yourself, can

you also offer yourself acceptance, that

experience of 'yes, this is me, this is what I do,

particularly under stress' and offer yourself good

will?

3) Self-Generation--In doing the above, have

you developed a greater capacity to generate

energy in the form of new ideas, new possibilities,

new actions toward what's most important to

you? Hope so. We call that resilience.

Pause. Reflect. Notice what comes up for you

across your entire experience of sensations,

thoughts, feelings. Jot your learning below in

‘Notes.’

Notes: _______________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________


Life is a dash.

Pause in the

present.

Enjoy this moment.

~~ J.R. Rim

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Conclusion

Congratulations! You’ve completed The

Leadership Pause.

At the outset of this work together, I shared my

belief that leading well--on point, with care, in

collaboration with others---requires a balance

between reflection and action to be effective,

powerful, impactful.

By now you’ve learned a bit about the

importance of Pausing, and how deliberately

practicing Pause strengthens your attentional

muscle, the one that underlies your potential as a

leader.

You’ve likely had at least a glimpse into your own

signature automatic reactions: your thinking

patterns, your emotional reactions, your bodily

responses, your actions.

This expanded awareness will serve you well in

the days ahead on your leadership journey.

Review the benefits of Pause below.


Pausing strengthens

our resilience to life’s

stresses & challenges,

creating learning amidst

triggers.

Benefits of Pause

Ø Pausing interrupts automatic, typically

out-of-awareness thoughts, feelings &

behaviors to allow for reflection.

Ø Pausing allows us to

juggle our life commitments with greater

agility & ease.

Ø Pausing opens up the

possibility to experience the

extraordinary in each moment.

Ø Pausing expands our

awareness to 360°: we experience others

& the environment more fully.

Ø Pausing sets the stage for conversations

that matter.

Ø Pausing strengthens our resilience to life’s

stresses & challenges, creating learning

amidst triggers.

Ø Pausing allows breath to do the job of

keeping us healthy.

Ø Pausing catalyzes our energies—

physical, mental, emotional, relational--

so we can get the most out of each

day.

Ø Pausing creates opportunities for

learning, pacing & choice.

Ø Pausing creates your Core Presence.


As you move ahead, knowing these benefits of

pausing, I’d encourage you to deliberately

commit and continue your Pause practice each

day, integrating it into your daily life.

Check out the Q4 website where I invite you to

share your Pause experiences on our blog, and

to keep abreast of new course offerings

designed to deepen your leadership presence.

All the best to you as you cultivate your

Leadership Pause.

the leadership pause - q4 consulting · 2017-08-29 · www. q4-consulting.com copyright©2017 chris...

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