the leadership mindset leading with presence leading ......4) how to zfeel the charge of your desire...

Copyright © 2015 Groover Seminars, Inc.

The Leadership Mindset

Leading with Presence

Leading Without Old Patterns

Leading with a Compelling Communication Style

Leading in your Career

Mastering the Mind-Body-Spirit Connection

Mastering Motivation

Mastering Productivity

Mastering Self-Awareness

Mastering Fear

Mastering Money

Mastering Relationships


10,000 Hours to Mastery

“Practice isn't the thing you do once you're good. It's the thing you do that makes you good.”

“In fact, researchers have settled on what they believe is the magic number for true expertise: ten thousand hours.”

“To become a chess grandmaster also seems to take about ten years. (Only the legendary Bobby Fischer got to that elite level in less than that amount of time: it took him nine years.) And what’s ten years? Well, it’s roughly how long it takes to put in ten thousand hours of hard practice. Ten thousand hours is the magic number of greatness.”

“Success is not a random act. It arises out of a predictable and powerful set of circumstances and opportunities.”

From the book Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell.

What do you want to be great at?

No reason is necessary to justify why you want to be great at something.

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How many years have you been consistently practicing so far?

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What Happens Outside Your Circle of Comfort?

What dynamics allow you to retreat back into the circle?

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Patterns, Practice, and Procrastination

What are some of your patterns/habits (put down the good, the bad, and the ugly):

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What habits get in your way, or make you feel bad?

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If you could wave your magic want and have any habits you wanted, without work or discipline, what

would they be?

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What habits do you have right now that you feel good about?

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When you procrastinate, what usually happens? In other words, what do you put as a higher priority

over what you know you must do?

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What would it take to break the habit you just described above (that leads to procrastination)?

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What positive habit could you do that would break your procrastination pattern (starting with the ‘worst

first,’ for example)

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Heart’s Desire Process

The Heart’s Desire Process is used for 4 main reasons:

1) How to move up the emotional scale at will (a.k.a. How to feel better any time you want)

2) How to discern the difference between what you should do and what you really want

3) How to amplify motivation to follow through on your commitments

4) How to ‘feel the charge’ of your desire and manifest it quicker

Heart’s Desire Questions:

To move up the emotional scale at will, use the following questions:

1. How do I really feel right now?

2. Given how I am feeling, what do I want that would help me feel a little better right now?

To discern the difference between what you should do and what you really want AND

To amplify motivation to follow through on your commitments, use the following questions:

1. How do I really feel in this particular area of my life?

2. Given how I am feeling, what do I want that would help me feel a little better in this area?

Question #1: Give yourself a few minutes to notice how you authentically feel in this moment.

This is not about running the story in your mind of what is happening; it is about feeling the

feelings in your body in the moment. Remember that no emotion is inherently ‘better’ than

another. Some feel better than others, but if we judge our ‘lower’ emotions, we often cut

ourselves off from them and the information they are trying to send us. Our feelings are the

doorway to discovering what we truly want.

Question #2: Once you have felt the feelings that are present, gently ask yourself the second

question. Lower your head and feel your body, and allow the answer to emerge from within.

Give yourself plenty of time to feel or hear an answer. It usually takes a few minutes. If you

notice your mind trying to figure out the answer, let that go and keep coming back to your

heart space and power center.

When you feel an authentic desire, your energy will naturally increase and you will feel better

immediately, even if you haven’t yet manifested what you want.


To “feel the charge” of your desire and manifest it quicker, use the following questions:

1. What is it that I want?

2. Can I feel that desire in my body right now without having to work out how I am going to

manifest it?

Notes:

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For more details on Heart Circles, which are small groups that practice this work, visit Tej

Steiner at http://HeartCircleNetwork.com

http://heartcirclenetwork.com/


Your Soul Child

Each Enneagram Type has a “soul child” point, a.k.a the “heart point” or the “security point.”

Working with your “soul child” is the doorway out of the ego’s fixation on your Type. The

challenge is that we resist connecting with our “Soul Child.”

Think of it this way. You came into this world as a child with a particular Enneagram Type. At

some point in your childhood or teen years, you were sent the message that being the way you

were was NOT the way to get love and safety. In order to gain love and safety you moved to

the next point on the Enneagram and the ego got “fixated” there. It makes sense why there is a

deep feeling of resistance and unsafety at the thought of really living into our “Soul Child.”

Each Type has “higher qualities” and “lower qualities that manifest, and with awareness we can

live more of the “higher qualities” of our Type. With awareness you will notice that you feel

much more happiness in the present moment. You will gain more freedom and quiet in your

mind and more motivation to take consistent inspired action. You and others will see more of

your soul’s essence shine through.

You can determine your “Soul Child” point on the Enneagram by finding your Type and then

moving one point in the direction of the arrows.

The following is taken from my Enneagram Professional Training through the Enneagram

Studies in the Narrative Tradition with David Daniels, M.D. and Helen Palmer.


http://EnneagramWorldwide.com

Type 1: The Perfectionist (Soul Child Point is Type 7: The Epicure)

The PERFECTIONIST comes to believe that you gain worthiness and love by being good,

correcting errors and meeting the requirements of the critical mind. You develop resentment

and suppressed anger or guilt over impulses and bad behavior.

Mental Habit – Resentment: judging, critiquing, comparing, getting things right.

Emotional Habit - Anger

Defense Mechanism – Reaction Formation: To oppose or react against “bad behaviors,”

especially impulses and desires.

Life Lesson: To change what can be changed, to accept what cannot be changed, and to develop the

wisdom to know the difference.

Rachael Jayne’s perception of the Lesson of the Soul Child: Play, allow desires, be spontaneous

and adventurous.

Spiritual Practice: Having fun

Type 2: The Giver (Soul Child Point is Type 4: The Romantic)

The GIVER comes to believe that you can gain love and approval, and fulfill your personal

needs, through your own giving to others. You develop a sense of being indispensable and a

prideful energy of knowing what others need best.

Mental Habit – Flattery: complimenting, pleasing, concentrating on others, helping.

Emotional Habit - Pride

Defense Mechanism – Repression: to blank out your own needs, desires or feelings through

your attention on others.

Life Lesson: To develop the humility that comes from allowing yourself to be loved without being

needed and to have needs of your own

Rachael Jayne’s perception of the Lesson of the Soul Child: It okay to receive and have the

attention on you than on others. You are unique, special and lovable whether or not you are

anything

Spiritual Practice: Being self-centric and a good receiver

Type 3: The Achiever (Soul Child Point is Type 6: The Loyal Skeptic)

The ACHIEVER comes to believe that you can gain love, recognition and acceptance through

achieving, doing, and success. You develop a go-ahead energy of self-deception to match the

image of success and approval. Your attention naturally goes to tasks, goals and things to

accomplish.

Mental Habit – Vanity/Go: identifying with image of being successful, multiple tasks, getting

things done.

http://enneagramworldwide.com/


Emotional Habit - Deceit

Defense Mechanism – Identification: to take on the attributes of a desired image of success as

your own.

Life Lesson: To reclaim the truth that love comes to you because of who you are, not because of what

you do.

Rachael Jayne’s perception of the Lesson of the Soul Child: It okay to feel fear and not do

anything to get rid of it. Look ahead to see what might go wrong and look deeper into what is

true for you.

Spiritual Practice: Feeling fear and not jumping into “doing” to feel better.

Type 4: The Romantic (Soul Child Point is Type 1: The Perfectionist)

The ROMANTIC comes to believe that you can regain the lost ideal love or perfect state by

finding the love or situation that is unique, special and fulfilling. You develop envy and longing

over what you idealize but is unavailable.

Mental Habit – Melancholy: what is missing, disappointments or lacks, being special

Emotional Habit - Envy

Defense Mechanism – Introjection: To take in or incorporate an idealized person or object

(both desirable and undesirable attributes) inside yourself to lessen the pain of loss and keep

the connection going.

Life Lesson: To reclaim wholeness in the present moment by appreciating what is here and now,

feeling the experience in their bodies rather than over-indulging in the story of what’s happening, and

accepting yourself as you are without needing to be special or unique.

Rachael Jayne’s perception of the Lesson of the Soul Child: It’s freeing and enjoyable to strive

for perfection and at the same time recognize the perfection in the present moment.

Spiritual Practice: Gratitude for what is absolutely perfect right now.

Type 5: The Observer (Soul Child Point is Type 8: The Protector)

The OBSERVER comes to believe that you gain protection from intrusion and insufficient

resources and assure life through privacy, self-sufficiency, limiting desires and acquiring

knowledge. You develop avarice for time, energy, knowledge and possessions.

Mental Habit – Stinginess: demands from others, analyzing, wanting time alone.

Emotional Habit - Avarice

Defense Mechanism – Isolation: To detach or cut off from feelings and intrusion from others, as

well as your own feelings and desires.

Life Lesson: To reconnect to the vitality of your life force and your heartfelt feelings, realizing that

ample energy and resources are available.

Rachael Jayne’s perception of the Lesson of the Soul Child: There is plenty of room for your big

vibrant energy of leadership. Your life force increases with feeling your anger and gut energy.


Spiritual Practice: Express More, Live Larger.

Type 6: The Loyal Skeptic (Soul Child Point is Type 9: The Mediator)

The LOYAL SKEPTIC comes to believe that you can assure life and certainty through avoiding

(the phobic stance) or facing harm (the counter-phobic stance) through vigilance, an active

imagination, questioning and either battling or escaping the perceived hazards. You develop

fear, which may be hidden or unrecognized, and doubt or questions concerning what might

threaten safety and security.

Mental Habit – Doubt: questioning of self and others, figuring out what to do and what could

go wrong.

Emotional Habit - Fear

Defense Mechanism – Projection: to attribute inner concerns, aggression, imagined dangers

and fears to others and external situations.

Life Lesson: To reclaim trust in yourself, others and the world, and live comfortably with uncertainty.

Rachael Jayne’s perception of the Lesson of the Soul Child: To feel our connection and bond

with others and feel compassion for others even when they are acting from their “lower

qualities.”

Spiritual Practice: Trust and practicing non-judgment of others.

Type 7: The Epicure (Soul Child Point is Type 5: The Observer)

The EPICURE comes to believe that you must escape frustration and pain, assuring a good life

by going into options, opportunities and adventures. You develop a gluttony of the mind for

positive possibilities, pleasures and future plans.

Mental Habit – Planning: seeing positive futures, fantasizing about possibilities, keeping options

open.

Emotional Habit - Gluttony

Defense Mechanism – Rationalization: To reframe painful and negative experiences and

circumstances in a positive way, thus escaping limitations and reducing negatives by giving

them a new meaning.

Life Lesson: To reclaim and accept all of life, the pleasures and the pains, in the present moment.

Rachael Jayne’s perception of the Lesson of the Soul Child: To allow yourself the quiet time to

go inward and feel and enjoy the limits of the moment.

Spiritual Practice: Committing to one path

Type 8: The Protector (Soul Child Point is Type 2: The Giver)

The PROTECTOR comes to believe that you can assure protection and gain respect (worthiness)

by becoming strong and powerful, by imposing your own personal truth and by hiding


vulnerability. You develop a big, lustful energy.

Mental Habit – Vengeance: blaming self or others, asserting own truth

Emotional Habit - Lust

Defense Mechanism – Denial: to not experience or see dangers, fears or your own vulnerability

(thus minimizing these), or to dismiss or treat obvious external factors as though they don’t

exist.

Life Lesson: To harness the life force in productive ways, integrating self-assertion with vulnerability.

Rachael Jayne’s perception of the Lesson of the Soul Child: To feel the vulnerability of needing

and wanting love and praise from others and realizing you do not always need to be the one

protecting everyone else. To feel your tender and huge heart energy.

Spiritual Practice: Serving others with humility

Type 9: The Peacemaker (Soul Child Point is Type 3: The Achiever)

The PEACEMAKER comes to believe that, as a substitute for your own worth, you can gain

belonging and comfort by attending to and merging with others and by dispersing energy into

substitute objects. You develop inertia (self-forgetting) about your own priorities and limits.

Mental Habit – Self-Forgetting: replacing essentials with inessential substitutes, seeking

comfort, more concern with others’ agendas than your own.

Emotional Habit - Sloth

Defense Mechanism – Narcotization: To “numb out” and forget the self by dispersing energy

into comforting substitutes.

Life Lesson: To reclaim yourself and wake up to personal priorities.

Rachael Jayne’s perception of the Lesson of the Soul Child: To be effective and efficient in

getting the most important desires you have achieved and completed. To reclaim the desire of

being in the spotlight and being someone who is important and achieves great things.

Spiritual Practice: Consistently working hard toward your own goals.

What are 3 examples of how you have seen your Soul Child at work?

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What thoughts and feelings does your Life Lesson bring up for you?

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What are 3 ways you can take on the Spiritual Practice of your Soul Child?

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Ongoing Observation Practice

1) Practice dropping your attention down and back into the body with your breath.

2) Be aware of what you are experiencing, thinking and/or feeling.

3) Name the “habitual pattern” that is causing you to “react” as you keep your attention on

your center.

4) Continue to be the observer of your personal reactivity as much as possible and return to

your center with your breath.


What are your key mental and emotional habits that happen when you feel bad about yourself

or the way your business is going?

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Is it your fault when you feel bad, or is it someone else’s fault when you feel bad?

Which way do you swing?

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Ownership

The opposite of ownership is ______________________________

Some of the types of _______________________________ I practice are:

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If you can’t think of any, make sure you put down ‘denial’

Where have you experienced someone practicing ownership, and what happened?

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What happened when you practiced it?

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One of the most important aspects of leaders is ownership, and not ______________

________________ on anyone else.

People are ______________ by a leader who takes full responsibility, and they trust them

______________. Ironically, many people ‘instinctively’ think if they own their ______________ and

_____________ people will trust them________________, but this is totally not true.

Even when people __________________ over someone’s stated _________________, they both

___________________ and _________________________ that person ____________.

A leader, in the above used sense of the word, may be a teacher, business owner, coach, or other type

of leader. These principles work and apply to all the above, including to the leaders of large

movements.


Health/Fitness Goals My commitments:

Financial Goals My commitments:

Personal/Spiritual Goals My commitments:

Professional Goals My commitments:

the leadership mindset leading with presence leading ......4) how to zfeel the charge of your desire...

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