the last pizza delivery driver on earth final script1

UNTITLED

by

KRIS KEMP

Kris Kemp712 Winters St

West Palm Beach, FL 33405(561) 255-2545

[email protected]

EXT. UPPER CLASS NEIGHBORHOOD - EVENING

Ambersville, a small midwestern town. A new-looking FordGremlin enters a subdivision of houses. Late eighties musicis playing from the radio. The bumpersticker on the carreads: Proud to be class of ’89. Storm clouds rolloverhead.

INT. JIM’S CAR - EVENING

JIM WHEELER, a skinny 17-year old, wearing a loose-fittingtuxedo and shiny shoes, drives while drumming his fingers onthe steering wheel to eighties music.

JIM WHEELERHi Natlie.

Jim clears his throat.(using low voice)

You look like a flower. A wildflower.

INT. LARGE HOUSE. LIVING ROOM - EVENING

NATALIE LaSHANE, eighteen, examines herself in themirror. She’s wearing a prom dress with puffy sleeves. Sheis applying makeup.

Her sister, WENDY LaSHANE, 11, sits quietly on the couch,watching TV. She’s engrossed in a documentary about theslaughter of dolphins by commercial tuna fisherman.

Natalie walks in front of Wendy, who’s transfixed by theimages from the TV.

WENDYLike PeeWee Herman’s wife. If hehas one.

NATALIEWhat do you know?

Using an big remote control, Wendy turns up the volume. Sheleans closer to the TV. She is spellbound.

Natalie continues examining herself in the mirror.

Wendy leans in closer to the TV. A look of concern crossesher face. She watches the grainy footage (captured byanimal right’s activists) of netted dolphins beingslaughtered by commercial tuna fisherman.

2.

EXT. LARGE HOUSE. FRONT YARD - EVENING

Jim Wheeler exits the car and approaches the front door. Hetakes a deep breath, then knocks.


A knock is heard on the front door.

A look of concern crosses Wendy’s face. She watches thegrainy footage (captured by animal right’s activists) ofnetted dolphins being slaughtered.

NATALIEMom! I’m leaving!

Natalie opens the front door.

EXT. LARGE HOUSE. FRONT DOOR - EVENING

Jim Wheeler is standing there with a big grin.

JIM WHEELERHi Natalie. You look like a -

Natalie pushes past him.

NATALIEI’m gonna be late.


As she watches the massacre, the shouts of her sister seemto fade into a whisper. Wendy’s lips quiver. A tear forms,then runs down her cheek. Her look of concern is replacedby a look of anger.

Wendy jumps from the couch and storms into the kitchen.

INT. LARGE HOUSE. KITCHEN - EVENING

This kitchen is spacious, with an island in themiddle. Wendy climbs onto a chair and begins opening thecupboards. She is on a mission. In the last one, she spotsfive cans of tuna.

3.

INT. JIM’S CAR - EVENING

Jim and Natalie are in his car. He’s driving, glancing ather nervously. She’s looking in the mirror, touching herhair. Jim rolls down his window.

NATALIEMy hair.

Natalie sniffs, then makes a sour expression.Don’t tell me. Did you?

JIMIt just happens.

Thunder is heard. It begins to rain.

NATALIEYou’re eighteen -

JIMSeventeen.

NATALIESame diff. Can’t you control it?

JIMI guess I’m just nervous.

NATALIEDon’t be. We’re not on adate. I’m letting you give me aride.

Natalie slides away from Jim, sprays perfume onherself. Jim coughs, swatting the air.

EXT. LONELY ROAD - NIGHT

It’s raining heavily. A small turtle waddles across thestreet. Jim’s car screeches to a stop. The turtle pullsitself into it’s shell.

Jim runs out, grabs turtle, returns to car with it.

INT. JIM’S CAR - NIGHT

Jim places turtle in the backseat while Natalie watches,appauled.

4.

NATALIEWhat are you doing?

JIMIt’s obviously confused.

NATALIEUhh, gross.

JIMJust keep an eye on it, okay? I’mgonna call him Morp. Get it?

NATALIEWhatever. I’m gonna belate. Should’ve gotten a ride withBen.

Jim winces when he hears the word Ben.

EXT. AMBERSVILLE HIGH SCHOOL. PARKING LOT - NIGHT

It’s raining outside, a downpour. Jim’s car veers into theparking lot of Ambersville High.

Beside the school campus sits the gymnasium, with a vinylbanner that reads: PROM - CLASS OF ’89. Crowds ofsuit-wearing senior high students mill about the gymnasiumdoor, underneath the awning. Limos idle in front. Musiccan be heard coming from inside.


Natalie’s adjusting her hair in the mirror. Jim cuts theengine.

NATALIELeave the air on, I’m sweating.

Jim turns on the ignition. The engine sputters.

JIMI just got this thing.

He revs the engine, turns on the a/c.

JIM (cont’d)Where’s the turtle?

Natalie shrugs indifferently. Jim looks in the backseat,feels his hand underneath the seats.

5.

NATALIESomething stinks.

Jim looks at Natalie.


Blackness gives way to light as the hood of Jim’s car isopened. Trails of smoke escape. Cautiously, Jim, thenNatalie, peek their heads over the engine.

NATALIEUgghhh.

Natalie steps away from the car in disgust. Jim lowers hishand into the engine. He pulls out the turtle, it’s shellsmoldering. Natalie is quickly walking away.

JIMWhere you going?

NATALIETo be with normal people.

JIMBut you’re my date. And they’re

(beat)so boring.

Natalie moves toward a group of seniors standing outside alimo. They welcome her with smiles, hugs.


Jim trudges through the front school yard toward the gym,cradling the turtle in an old T-shirt. Others run to dodgethe rain, but Jim, obvlivious, continues walking.

EXT. AMBERSVILLE HIGH SCHOOL. BEHIND GYM - NIGHT

Jim walks toward the pond behind the gym. He stops at theedge, kneels, and drops the turtle into water near thebank. The turtle plummets to the bottom and drifts away.

JIMAre you dead, littleturtle? Where’d you go?

6.

SCREEN FADES TO BLACK - 15 YEARS LATER (IN WHITE TEXT)

INT. AMBERSVILLE HOSPITAL - NIGHT

Jim Wheeler, now 32, looks suprisingly young. He’s wearinga Pizza Planet shirt, khaki shorts, black socks pulled up tothe knees, and worn sneakers. His clothing is stained withdried pizza sauce and a film of white flour. He isunshaven.

On his belt hang two cell phones, one that is scratched up,another that appears new.

Jim is carrying five pizzas in two warmer bags, walkingthrough the a brightly lit hospital corridor. He sees adoor and tries it. It is locked.

He continues ahead toward an empty wheelchair. He sets thepizzas onto the wheelchair. He punches buttons on hiscellphone.

A nurse is walking toward him.

JIM(speaking into phone)

I can’t find this place. You havea room -

NURSEExcuse me. If you wanna talk,you’ll have to go to the staircase.

The nurse points to a sign on the wall with a cellphone witha line through it.

JIM(to nurse)

Oh sorry.

Jim walks through the door into the stairwell.

JIM (cont’d)Did you give them my number?

INT. PIZZA PLANET - NIGHT

PAM MARTINEZ, the store manager, a short, broad-shoulderedHispanic woman, has the phone to her shoulder as she kneadsout pizza dough.

7.

PAMCome back. They’ll pick it up.

INT. AMBERSVILLE HOSPITAL - NIGHT

Jim returns his cell phone to its holdster. He picks up thepizzas, walks down the hallway. From behind one of thedoor, partially open, laughter is heard. Jim peeks inside.

Sitting in a hospital bed is an older man, jotting into anotepad, laughing to himself. The man looks a lot like Jim,with 60 years on him. The old man looks up at Jim.

Embarrassed, Jim hurredly continues down the hall.

EXT. AMBERSVILLE HOSPITAL - NIGHT

Jim carries the pizzas to his car, the same car he drove tothe prom, fifteen years earlier. The car looks like it wastaken from a junkyard.

His cell phone rings. Jim sets the pizzas on the roof. Heanswers the cell phone.

JIMHello?

INT. PIZZA PLANET - NIGHT

The store is busy. The phones are ringing incessantly. PamMartinez has a phone in each hand. Pizzas are coming out ofthe oven. The make line (where pizzas are dressed) is adisaster area.

PAMWhere are you?

JIM (O.S.)I’m on my way.

PAMHurry back. Everyone gonehome. You’re the last pizzadelivery driver.

8.


Jim is driving, drumming his fingers on the steeringwheel. Seeing a green light turn yellow, he pushes the gaspedal to the floor. The car sputters.

EXT. AMBERSVILLE STREET, INTERSECTION - NIGHT

A police car slows to a stop at the intersection.


Jim notices the police car and applies the brakes. Thetires, bald, squeal as the car slides past the intersectionbefore coming to a stop.

Jim eyes the policeman.

JIMHa, ha, ha.

(using Asian accent)No ticket for you.

The pizzas, which Jim left on the roof, fly off. Some landon the street. Others land on the hood. The last pizza boxflies open and the pizza lands sauce-side down on thewindshield.

The pepperonis form a smiley face that becomes a sad face asthey descend down the windshield.

Jim turns on the windshield wiper fluid, then the wiperblades, which push the pizza toward the side of thecar. The pizza falls part-way into the car window, fallingonto Jim’s lap.

INT. POLICE CAR - NIGHT

The cop, watching what happened, smiles as he drives by.

EXT. FANCY RESTAURANT. OUTSIDE DOCK, EMPLOYEE AREA - NIGHT

An upscale restaurant that borders a river or waterway thatleads to the ocean. This is the outside dock, near thebackdoor to the kichen, where the restaurant employees hangout. A wooden partition, and a row of plants, separatesthis area from the outside dining area for the patrons.

9.

WENDY LaSHANE, now 26, is slim, with short dark hair andeyes that sparkle. She’s wearing a waitress uniform. Shesits on a bucket.

JOSH, a bearded guy in his mid-to-late twenties, standsbehind her. He wipes his hands on a dishrag that hangs fromhis kitchen apron. He’s wearing chef pants and a stainedv-neck T-shirt.

A shooting star appears. Wendy hits Josh on the shoulder,points at the shooting star. They both watch it.

WENDYThat’s a sign.

JOSHYou up for this?

WENDYC’mon.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT. INSIDE DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Dim lights cast a warm, romantic glow. Well-dressed patronschat softly over the sounds of live piano music. The waitstaff, attentive and polite, circulate like polite vultures.

Wendy LaShane pushes an aquarium of live lobsters betweenthe tables. The water inside the aquarium is a filthygreen. Wendy keeps her eyes ahead of her, toward thekitchen doors.

A bejewelled finger belonging to a female customer tapsWendy.

CUSTOMERExcuse me.

WENDYCan I help you?

CUSTOMER(taps aquariumglass, pointing at fatlobster)

How much for that one?

WENDYI believe it’s $75-dollars. I’llcheck.

10.

CUSTOMERThat’s the one I want.

WENDYAlright. I’ll let your waiterknow, and he’ll be right with you.

CUSTOMERI have my eye on him.

Wendy nods and smiles, then turns pushing the aquarium away.

WENDY(to herself)

Hope you know how to swim.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

Wendy rolls the cart into the kitchen and through the doorsinto a smaller room that serves as the dishwashing station.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT. DISHWASHING STATION - NIGHT

Dishwashing station is a narrow hallway with a swinging doorwith round window. Josh is using his fingers to finish offthe remains of a half-eaten piece of chocolate cake thatsits among a pile of unwashed dishes.

Beside the dishwasher is an aquarium with clean water thatsits atop a tray with wheels. Seeing Wendy arrive, Joshhelps her pull the cart into the dishwashing area. Joshpeers out the door window, then returns to the car.

JOSHDid John-Paul see you?

WENDY(shakes her head)

Using tongs, Wendy begins moving the lobsters from theaquarium and placing them onto the counter. Josh cuts therubber bands that bind their claws, then puts the lobstersinto another cleaner aquarium.

They continue doing this. A few lobsters remain in thedirty aquarium ...

COOK’S VOICE (O.S.)I need that fatty!

11.

JOSHAlright, hang on. We’re - I’mgetting it for you right now!

Josh and Wendy continue to remove the lobsters rubber bandsand place them into the aquarium with clean water.

COOK’S VOICE (O.S.)I need that lobster!

JOSHHe’s at the bottom. I’m gettinghim for you right now!

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - DISHWASHING STATION - NIGHT

A heavyset cook with a shaved head busts open the swingingdoor. On his kitchen apron hang tongs and a greasydishtowel.

He runs into Josh, who’s walking out with the fat lobster,thrashing wildly.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - KITCHEN - NIGHT

COOKKnew they shouldn’t’ve hiredyou. Stoner.

The cook attempts to take the lobster from Josh.

JOSHI got him.

COOKMan, gimme that thing!

The cook carries the lobster toward the microwavesteamer. We see from the lobster’s point of view, it’sclaws swinging wildly as it moves among the cooks toward thesteel microwave steamer. It’s put inside the steamer andthe door is closed.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Watching in horror, Josh spots four sautee pans with hot oilsizzling on hot, gas stove. He grabs a nearby lighter,ignites the oil, then knocks the pan to the ground. Itflames up near the line cooks.

The nearby cooks throw water on it.

12.

COOKStop! I’ll get the flour!

Cook runs to get flour. Josh opens the microwave steamerand carries the lobster toward the backdoor.

EXT. FANCY RESTAURANT. OUTSIDE DOCK, EMPLOYEE AREA - NIGHT

Wendy standing beside a safety rail, a three-foot highbarrier comprised of thick ropes running through 4 x4’s. She’s attempting to tilt the aquarium, dumping thelobsters into the body of water below.

Josh runs toward her and tosses the lobster into theair. It lands with a splash.

Josh joins Wendy, lifting the aquarium over the ropedbarrier.

The kitchen door slams open. JOHN-PAUL, a short,narrow-shouldered Frenchman, appears in the doorway. He isbacklit, like a monster that’s discovered its prey. Despitehis size, he carries a formidable presence. He is smoking.

JOHN-PAULWhat are you doing?!

JOSHFreeing the hostages.

WENDY(overlapping)

Returning them home.

Wendy and Josh struggle to upset the aquarium.

JOHN-PAULThe price of those lobsters makeswhat you’re doing

(exhales smoke)a federal offense.

WENDYThe real offense

With a surge to match her convictions, Wendy and Josh tipthe aquarium.

WENDY (cont’d)is steaming them alive.

The aquarium tips. The lobsters and water, in one giantball, drop toward the water below.

13.

JOHN-PAULThis is a joke, right? Where arethe cameras?

JOSHBehind you. Up in the ceiling.

John-Paul turns around.

EXT. DOCK - NIGHT

Josh and Wendy crawl under the dock, scaling thetrusses. They land in an embankment, then push off in awaiting canoe.

EXT. WATERWAY - NIGHT

JOSHHa, ha, ha. Did you see hisface? It looked like a beet!

(beat)We should lay low for a while.

WENDYC’mon.

JOSHWe’re still leaving tomorrow,right?

Wendy looks at Josh.

EXT. TRUCK STOP GAS STATION/STORE - NIGHT

Wendy and Josh are sitting on the outside curb of the truckstop store, near the entrance. Beside them, sit a duffelbag and a large backpack.

A steady throng of truckers and travellers exit and enterthe store.

JOSHThat guy looks okay. Go ask him.

WENDYYou ask him.

JOSHYou’re a girl. Tell him I’m yourbrother. Your deaf brother thistime.

14.

Wendy stands, picks up the duffel bag, and walks toward thetrucker who’s fueling his rig. Josh watches as she speakswith him. The trucker glances at Josh.

As she continues talking to the trucker, Wendy has bothhands in the air like an orchestra conducer. She taps thetrucker on the shoulder, then laughs. The trucker looks atJosh, waves him over.

EXT. LUXURY HOUSE - DAY

A beautifully-manucured lawn. A big luxury house. We seeall sides of it, including the back screened in patio andpool.

INT. LUXURY HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY

We see photos sitting on the kitchen counter. One ofNatalie LaShane, appearing to be in her late twenties, withher arm around her husband, Bryce Gallager, at theirwedding.

Another photo of Natalie and Bryce hugging in front of thetheir new house.

INT. LUXURY HOUSE, LAUNDRY ROOM - DAY

Natalie Gallager, now 33, is dressed in baggy pants and aT-shirt, stands beside the washing machine, selectingclothes for wash from a nearby laundry basket.

She stops suddenly, bringing a hospital shirt closer to herface, examining it carefully. Turning it over, she smellsit.

INT. LUXURY HOUSE, BEDROOM - DAY

Natalie plops on the bed and opens an envelope. Sheextracts the contents. We see that it’s a cell phonebill. She highlights certain numbers.

INT. TV NEWS STATION - EVENING

A flurry of activity as the camera crew readies for theevening news. Natalie, dressed in a business suit, sits atthe desk beside another reporter, Don McDougal.

15.

A producer moves, a clipboard in his left hand, walks infront of the camera, holding out his right hand and usinghis fingers to count off.

PRODUCERAnd four, three, two -

The producer moves away from the camera.

DON MCDOUGALGood evening, I’m Don McDougal -

NATALIEAnd I’m Natalie Gallager. Thankyou for tuning in tonight.

DON MCDOUGALOur top story tonight comes fromnearby Greenville, where -

His voice fades into white noise. We see a closeup ofNatalie’s face as tears begin to form in the corners of hereyes.

INT. COSTUME SHOP - EVENING

Inside, the store walls are covered with costumes andmasks. All kinds of costumes, disguises, accessoriesoverflow the narrow aisles.

RICK BOTTOM, Jim’s friend, a short, stocky fireplug of aman, in his late twenties. He is sitting at the frontcounter, watching TV.

Jim Wheeler walks walks into the store. He has thebeginnings of a moustache. He’s wearing his "Planet Pizza"uniform, which is stained with old pizza sauce and caked ina layer of fine flour. Jim carries a pizza warmer bag inone hand, with a pizza inside.

JIMI called you earlier. Why didn’tyou answer?

RICKChecking the petstore. Mr.Newhouse wants me to watch it forhim while he’s out of town.

JIMIs he paying you?

16.

RICKHe’s gonna give me that puppy.

(beat)Why do you have two cell phones?

JIMThis one has the numbers on it.

Jim puts the warmer bag on the counter and quickly pulls itoff, sliding the box of pizza onto the counter.

RICKThanks.

(beat)You’re growing a moustache.

JIMMakes my teeth look whiter.

Jim smiles widely. Rick looks at him flatly. Jim’s phonerings. He looks at it.

RICKWear black lipstick. Then yourteeth’ll look really white.

JIMYou first.

RICKI thought only gay people woremoustaches.

JIMDo I look gay to you?

RICKYou’d have to dress better.

The front door opens. Two attractive girls appearing to bein their mid-to-late twenties stroll in. They gaze at themerchandise hanging from the walls.

Jim stands at attention, sticks out his butt. Jim looks atRick. Rick smiles at Jim. Jim rubs his moustache.

RICK (cont’d)Can I help you?

GIRL #1I’m looking for something realisticlooking. No one can know who I am.

17.

RICKI have the perfect thing.

Rick leads them toward the back. He pulls down amask. They try a few of them on. They return to thecounter with different masks.

JIMAre we gonna see you on the news?

Jim’s cell phone rings. He ignores it.

GIRL #2What?

JIMRobbing a bank.

Girl #1 slips hands Rick her credit card. He looks at it,slides it. Types into register. A receipt prints.

GIRL #2Party tomorrow night.

RICKWhere’s it at. I wanna come.

GIRL #2It’s private.

JIM(to Rick)

I thought you were going to myparty.

GIRL #1(to Girl #2)

Nice moustache.

JIMI heard that. I started growingfacial hair in the fifth grade. Mydermatologist said

(BEAT)it was high levels of testosterone.

Rick, shakes his head in embarassment. The girls looks atJim flatly. The girls turn to leave. They walk towarddoor.

18.

JIMWait.

Jim’s phone rings. The girls turn.

JIM (cont’d)You look like a flower. A wildflower. In my line of business, Ihear about parties all the time -

The beginning of a fart erupts in Jim’s pants.

JIM (cont’d)If you leave me your digits -

The fart sounds like a trumpet blast. The girls look ateach other with faces of disgust.

GIRL #1Gross.

The girls leave the store.

GIRL #2Loser.

RICKYou needa do something about that.

JIMI have this idea.

RICKTell it to me.

JIMAlright. Here it is.

EXT. COSTUME SHOP - EVENING

From outside the costume shop, we see Jim excitedly talkingto Rick. Jim is using his hands in broad sweeping motions,moving around, very animated in his gestures. Jim stopsmoving, moves toward counter where Rick is sitting.

INT. COSTUME SHOP - EVENING

JIMSo what do you think of thatidea? You like it?

19.

RICKYou want me to be honest?

JIMYou’re my friend. That’s what Iexpect from you.

(CONT)Seriously. What do you think?

RICKUm, I think it sucks.

(BEAT)You know what? You’re reallynegative. Why do I even ask you?

Jim walks out.

INT. ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY - DAY

Jim, wearing his pizza uniform, is standing in a hallway, infront of a door that’s partially open.

EDITH (O.S.)Come in. I’ll be right out.

Jim enters the door.

INT. APARTMENT - DAY

The inside of this apartment is clean, with a lot ofpictures hanging on one wall.

Jim enters the apartment, sets pizza on nearby table. Jimlooks at pictures on wall. One by one, we see them. Blackand white pictures of a ballet troupe. Several are closeupsof a female ballet dancer.

EDITH WORTHINGTON steps into the room. She’s a woman in hermid-to-late sixties, strikingly pretty, with a simmeringenergy and grace that could power a small town in Nebraska.

EDITHI used to get roses thrown at myfeet.

JIMThis is you?

20.

EDITHHave I changed that much? I usedto get fan mail every week. I wastreated like royalty. Men wantedme. Women envied me.

Edith looks in the mirror, adjusts her hair.(cont)

Now the kids don’t even visit.

Edith disappears into the kitchen, returns with a glass ofwine, drinks some. She opens the curtains, then moves closeto Jim.

EDITH (cont’d)It’s my birthday.

JIMYou said that last week.

EDITHDon’t think you can seduce me. Myhusband will be here any minute.

JIMListen, you’re an attractive womanbut I’m -

EDITHThirty four years strong. And wedon’t have separate beds. There’sa picture of him on the wall.

Edith points at a picture, sitting at the edge of thewall. Jim approaches the picture to get a better look.

Jim looks at the picture. It’s a man in a coffin. He’swearing a suit. The picture looks dated. Jim gasps.

EDITH (cont’d)Isn’t he handsome.

JIMSure was - is.

INT. ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY, ELEVATOR - DAY

Jim gets in the elevator. Another woman, appearing to be inher sixties, gets in elevator. The elevator doors close.

21.

ELEVATOR WOMANYou brought food for Edith?

JIMHow’d you know?

ELEVATOR WOMANShe orders all the time.

JIMDoes she always say it’s herbirthday.

ELEVATOR WOMANAs long as I’ve known her. Someoneneeds to throw her a party.

EXT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE - EVENING

A rundown, two-story, woodframe house 1930’s era. The yardis overgrown. A dying flowerbed lines the perimeter of thehouse. This house, this yard, used to be nice.

A giant wheel rolls into view, crushing the grass. Thewheel belongs to a big truck that’s parked intself on thelawn. The gate of this truck is peppered withbumperstickers. One by one, we see them.

The first sticker has the outline of a deer head. Thesecond one reads: America: Love it or Leave it! The thirdone is an American flag sticker. The fourth onereads: Back off city boy." The fifth one reads: I like myturtles swimming in potatoes and onions. The sixth onereads: "Beef - Real Food for Real People."

The truck door opens. A worn construction boot hits thegrass.

INT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Assorted, framed jigsaw puzzles, in all sizes, most of themlarge, dominate the walls. The furniture is in pristinecondition, despite the fact that the syle is mid-to-lateeighties. One of the reclining sofas has been painted alight blue, the fabric, not the wood.

One puzzle contains pictures of the Wheeler family: JimWheeler, Sandra (his mom), Leslie Wheeler (his dad) andKaren (Jim’s older sister).

22.

INT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE, KITCHEN - NIGHT

An old fashioned kitchen with big windows that lookout onto the front yard.

SANDRA WHEELER, Jim’s mom, is an attractive woman in her midfifties. Like Jim, she looks ten years younger than herage. Her hair is pulled back. She wears glasses. She has ano nonsense look to her, but a comforting smile. Herdominating presence makes her appear taller than her 5’4.

DOBBS GENTRY, Sandra’s friend, is a tall, tanned fellow inhis late forties. His merry disposition belies hisstubborness. He wears blue jeans and a plaid shirt. Hisgait is best described as a waddle.

Sandra Wheeler and Dobb’s Gentry are lighting the candles ona cake--two Pepperidge Farm cakes that sit on top of eachother.

Rick opens the freezer, takes two boxes of cheap ice cream,and puts it into a cooler full of ice.

INT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE, DINING ROOM - NIGHT

An old fashioned dining room with large windows that lookout onto the back yard. Jim Wheeler sits at the table.

Sandra Wheeler, Dobbs Gentry, and Rick exit the kitchen.

Sandra Wheeler is carrying a large plate containing twoPepperidge Farm cakes stacked on top of each other. Thefirst one is coconut, the second one is chocolate.

Dobbs has a kitchen towel around an apple pie.

Rick carries out a cooler, filled with ice, containing boxesof ice cream.

SANDRA, DOBBS, RICKOh, oh, oooo, it’s your birthday,ooo, oh, oh, oooo -

Jim sits on the living room couch, watching them approach.

RICKYou are a zoo creature -

Jim sinks into the couch, as if he’s trying to hide, hopingto be swallowed by the sense of familiarity the cushionspromise.

23.

From Jim’s point of view, we see the trio approach. Theyadvance in slow motion. Even their singing slows to amolasses tempo.

JIM (V.O.)They should make metal detectors inthe back pockets of pants. I’dnever have to work again. Justvisit people with change-hungrycouches.Look at these people. Is this myposse? What am I doing with mylife? Shouldn’t I have agirlfriend by now? I’m pathetic.

The cake, about to topple over, is laid on the table. Thecandles spell out: 32.

SANDRAJim?

Jim blinks, snapping out of his mild fantasy. He leansforward, blows at the candles. The last candle flickersstubbornly, but finally extinguishes as Jim’s about to runout of air.


Jim, Rick, Sandra, Dobbs sit around the dining roomtable. A small piece is left of the cake. The ice cream ismelting into the ice. The kitchen table is a mess of crumbsand spilled ice cream. A half-eaten apple pie sits in themiddle.

SANDRAand whoever puts the puzzletogether the fastest wins a 7-daycruise to the Virgin Islands.

RICKI can put a puzzle together.

JIMRick, it’s for professionals.

RICKI’m a professional.

JIM(overlapping)

It’s a cruise for one?

24.

SANDRANo.

Sandra shoots Dobbs a knowing smile. Noticing this, Jimglares at Sandra.

DOBBS32 years old. Not a kidanymore. Still delivering pizzas.

Jim nods.

DOBBS (cont’d)Why don’t you quit thatjob. Seriously. It’s a go nowherejob. You don’t wanna be deliveringpizzas when you’re forty.

JIMWhy not?

DOBBSMy cousin’s supervisor at BiggieMart. They start you at $7 an hourand you get benefits after -

JIM(overlapping)

I’m not interested in working at acompany that exploits adolescentasians for 30-cents an hour.

DOBBSDon’t start with that socialist BS.

JIMBesides I don’t plan on being herethat long.

DOBBS(talking with food in mouth)

Where you going?

JIMI’m not sure.

SANDRAHe’s just like his father.

Jim pushes his chair back.

25.

SANDRA (cont’d)Where you going?

JIM(grabbing plate of pie)

I’m gonna heat it up.

Sandra grabs the plate from him.

SANDRAI’ll microwave it. It’ll only takea second.

JIMI’ll heat it up, in theoven. Microwaves are harmful.

SANDRAI don’t know where you heard -

JIM(overlapping)

The internet.


The computer? Boy, you can’tbelieve what they say. That’s abunch a nonsense.

SANDRA(overlapping)

Anyone can say whatever they wanton the internet.

JIMDid you know that microwaves werebanned in the former Soviet Union?


Communist. You can’t believe acommunist.

SANDRAThe internet’s not a reliablesource of information. Especiallyconspiracy sites.

SANDRA (cont’d)(to Dobbs)

Want your pie heated, too?

Sandra takes a plate of apple pie to the kitchen.

26.

DOBBS(to Dobbs)

Want your pie irradiated?

RICKI wanna be radiated. Look atme. I’m radiation man.

The microwave is heard whirring to life.

JIM(to Rick)

C’mon Rick, that’s not funny.

Sandra returns to the dining room, sits down.

JIM (cont’d)I’m serious, though, microwaves areharmful. They cook food from theinside out. They turn food into anon-food, like plastic.

SANDRAWhat do you want me to do?

JIMBury it. The microwave.

RICKIt’ll grow a microwave tree.

DOBBSHar, har, har.

A piece of food falls out of Dobb’s mouth. Dobbs continuesto eat with his mouth open.

JIMWhat cigarettes were to thenineties, microwaves will be to thezeroes. They need to be banned.

SANDRAThat’s what your father used tosay.

JIMHe’s right. It’s true.

SANDRAAnd look where it got him.

Stunned at the comment, Jim puts his fork down.

27.

JIMI can’t believe you said that.

SANDRAWell I’m not going to apologize ifthat’s what you want.

JIM(to Dobbs)

Can you chew with your mouthclosed? Please. Look like awashing machine.

RICKHeh, heh, heh, heh, heh.

Jim spoons out some ice cream, flicks it at Rick. It landson his neck.

RICK (cont’d)Hey! What did you do that for?

JIMI’m 32. I’m a man. I can dowhatever I want.


Jim, Sandra, Dobbs, and Rick sit around the kitchen table, aclutter of crumbs, melted ice cream, half-eaten apple pie.

Jim rips open a gift.

SANDRADon’t expect much.

The wrapping falls away to reveal a can of Fix-A-Flat.

SANDRA (cont’d)You are on the road a lot. Thisway, you don’t have to let a flattire slow you down.

JIMThis, is practical. Thanks mom.

Jim rips open the second gift. It’s a lucky rabbit’s footwith a leather string through it.

DOBBSI caught it myself last season.

28.

RICKHow?

Jim examines the rabbit’s foot. There’s a bit of blood onit.

DOBBSI was out of traps and I seen it,so

(flexing arms)picked up a big rock and wai -

JIMThat’s enough. We get the picture.

DOBBSYou rub it for good luck.

JIMShould’ve rubbed its ownfoot. Thanks, I guess.

Rick leans under the table and brings up a large brown papergrocery bag, stapled at the top. He slides it toward Jim.

With a smile, Jim opens the bag, sinks his hand inside. Hepulls out a very realistic-looking mask of an elderly whiteman. The nose appears to be botched, with additionalplastic hanging from it.

Jim looks at it, starts laughing silently to himself. Rickstarts laughing.

RICKHeh, heh, heh. What? Heh, heh,heh.

Jim slips the mask over his head.

JIM(using old man’s voice)

I’d like the senior citizen’sspecial. No salt. Makes myankle’s swell up.

EXT. POST OFFICE - DAY

Wendy LaShane and Josh are standing on the sidewalk near apost office. They look dishevelled, their hair everywhere,their faces sunburned.

Josh watches as a semi-truck parks across the street. Wendywalks toward the post office.

29.

JOSHWhere you going?

Wendy holds up envelope.

JOSH (cont’d)(pointing at truck)

Hurry up, there’s a ride.

INT. POST OFFICE - DAY

A normal post office interior, decorated with framedsets-of-stamps, postal rules, brochures, new stampdesigns. Wendy stands at the counter. A MAIL CLERKapproaches.

Wendy slides an envelope toward the mail clerk. Theenvelope is addressed to Natalie Gallager, with anink-penned sketching of wilderness, with two people hikingnear a stream.

WENDYStamp.

MAIL CLERKWould you like insurance for50-cents more?

WENDYNo.

The mail clerk peels off an American flag stamp from a blockset.

WENDY (cont’d)What flavors do you have -

The mail clerk shoots Wendy a curious look.

WENDY (cont’d)besides the American flag.

The mail clerk’s look turns sober. The mail clerk opens adrawer, pulls out assorted block sets of stamps, eachcontaining different artwork.

Wendy’s dirty finger lands on a stamp depicting forestwildlife.

30.

INT. POST OFFICE, LOBBY - DAY

A post office lobby, containing machines that sell stamps,mail delivery slots, a wall of post office boxes in small,medium, large sizes.

On the way out of the post office, Wendy passes by a glassencased bulletin board listing "FBI - WANTED". Below arepictures of assorted criminals.

One of the pictures is a grainy, black-and-white picture ofWendy, wearing a hooded sweatshirt and big sunglasses,releasing animals from an animal testing facility.

EXT. UPSCALE GATED COMMUNITY - NIGHT

Jim, dressed in his "Planet Pizza" uniform, stands at thedoor of a big house. Against his surroundings--an opulenthouse with a manicured lawn, Jim, with his matty hair,stained shirt, baggy khaki shorts, black socks pulled up tohis knees, dirty sneakers, looks like a stain against thisman made vision of paradise. A luxury SUV and shiny sportscar sit parked in the driveway.

Jim presses the doorbell. An assortment of bellschime. The door opens.

JAKE KENDAL, preppily-dressed, late twenties, standing inside the house, studies Jim’s face. He hands Jim somebills.

JAKEKeep it.

JIMThanks. Thanks a lot.

Jim hands Jake the two pizzas. Jake takes them, closes thedoor. Jim returns toward car. Jake opens the door of thehouse, puts his hand to his mouth.

JAKEHey! Wait a second!

Jim jogs back to the door.

JIMEverything alright?

JAKEAren’t you Jim?

31.

JIMYeah. How’d you know my name?

JAKEYou don’t remember me? AmbersvilleHigh. Geometry class. I sat acouple rows behind you.

Jim studies Jake’s face.

JIMDid you have blond hair?

JAKEI dyed it.

JIMYou always brought your skateboardto class?

JAKEYep, that’s me.

(extends hand)Jake Kendall.

JIMWow. How long’s it been? Like tenyears?

JAKEEveryone looked up to you.

JIMReally?

JAKEYou were the only senior in ninthgrade math. What are you doingnow?

JIMWell, uh, I work herepart-time. I’m usually managingthe store but tonight we’re reallybusy. But, I’m actually working on-

JAKEI used to do that when I was ajunior.

32.

JIMa patent for an idea I have.

JAKE’S WIFE (O.S.)You’re missing the movie!

JAKEThat’s my wife. I gotta go. Didyou hear about the reunion?

Jake jogs to house, goes inside, jogs back to Jim, hands Jima flier. Jim looks at the flier.

The flier reads: Ambersville High. Class of ’89Reunion. Below this are the date, the time, with games &prizes. Live deejay playing your favorite 80’s classics.


Jim walks into the house. He’s wearing his "Planet Pizza"uniform and has three boxes of pizzas with him. Rick issitting on the couch, watching TV, laughing.

Inside the house, along with the walls of framed jigsawpuzzles, hang animal heads, all kinds of animals. Jim looksat them curiously.

JIMWhat’s going on with the animalfaces?

RICKDobbs ran out of space in histrailer.

JIMLooks like a redneck version of"Trading Places".

Jim sits down on the couch. He has a dazed, soberexpression on his face. Rick continues watching TV.

JIM (cont’d)I never expected to be doing whatI’m doing for a living. Not at myage.

RICKGet in line.

Jim grabs the remote, turns off the TV.

33.

RICK (cont’d)Hey!

Jim hands Rick the high school reunion flyer. We see anupclose shot of the high school reunion flier. The camerapulls back. Rick is holding the flyer, sitting on theliving room couch, in front of the TV that’s on low volume.

Jim is pacing the living room.

RICK (cont’d)Are you gonna go?

JIMNo.

RICKYou should go.

JIMWhy? To remind me of how much aloser I am. You should’ve seenthat guy’s house. And he was inninth grade when I was asenior. My 10 year high schoolreunion is in two weeks and it’sembarassing. I’m probably gonna bedelivering pizzas to their hotelrooms.

RICKSo.

JIMLook at me. I’m a 32 year oldpizza delivery driver. I don’t havea girlfriend and I drive a carthat’s on the verge of exploding.

RICKI’ll help you get a girl. You needto solve that problem of yoursfirst, though.

JIMYeah, I have this idea.

RICK(leans in towards Jim’s head)

You’ve got white hair.

34.

JIMThanks. Thanks for pointing thatout. Thanks for that vote ofconfidence.

RICKI’m just being honest.

Rick starts laughing.

JIMEverything’s a big joke to you,isn’t it?

RICKSo, what’s your idea?

JIMOkay, you’ve heard of pouporri,right?

RICKYes.

JIMI’ve tried the conventionalremedies for gas problems and theydon’t work. When I get nervous, Ifart. So how about a pill thatcould make my farts smell likeflowers. But I need the help of achemist or a scientist or -

RICKMy uncle’s an inventor.

Jim looks at Rick.

RICK (cont’d)He has commercials. They’re onlate at night.


Jim and Rick are plopped on the living room couch watchingTV. The TV shows the infommercial advertisement for "TheAmazing Taser Fishing Rod", a fishing rod that catches fishand tasers them, so by the time you reel them in, they arecooked and don’t flop around.

35.

INT. JIM WHEELER’S CAR - NIGHT

The inside of Jim Wheeler’s old Gremlin is littered withjunk, empty boxes of Good & Plenty, empty gallon watercontainers, papers, journals.

Jim is driving. Rick is sitting passenger side.

RICKIs this car gonna make it?

JIMYes. I drive about 500 miles anight delivering pizzas. Are yousure your uncle’s gonna be there?

RICKHe never leaves?

Jim looks at Rick curiously.

RICK (cont’d)He’s kind of paranoid.

INT. TRUCKER’S CAB - NIGHT

A truck cab. Wendy is sitting in the middle. Josh issitting beside the window. The TRUCKER, at the wheel, astout, middleaged man wearing blue jeans and flannel shirt,fiddles with the radio dial.

Josh, wide-eyed, glancing out window, appearing nervous.

JOSH(whispers to Wendy)

We’re being followed.

WENDYC’mon.

JOSHSee that car?

Wendy glances in passenger side mirror.

JOSH (cont’d)It’s been behind us for hours.

The trucker leans his head toward them.

36.

JOSH (cont’d)See all those antennas? I can’tget arrested again. We shouldsplit up.

WENDYLet’s wait ’til Ambersville. Mysister lives there.

EXT. BASE OF MOUNTAIN, DRIVEWAY - MORNING

Jim Wheeler’s car is parked at the base of a mountain, infront of a driveway blocked by a gate. The drivewaymeanders into the woods. Jim leans toward the intercom,says something, the gate opens.

Jim steers the car up the winding path. Large trees linethe road. Hidden among their branches are surveillancecameras.

INT. UNCLE LOYD’S CABIN - MORNING

A computer monitor screen follows Jim’s car as it bounces upthe winding driveway. A Yoo-Hoo with ice on it is placedbeside the monitor by a skinny hand.

EXT. MOUNTAIN CLEARING, END OF DRIVEWAY - MORNING

The car reaches the end of the driveway, a small clearingwith a rundown mobile home trailer that’s been connected toa small wooden cabin, a poor person’s addition.

INT. JIM WHEELER’S CAR - MORNING

Jim is staring at the house, with an eybrow raised incuriousity and fear. Rick is sleeping. Jim pokesRick. Rick groans groggily.

JIMThis is it?

Rick nods.

37.

INT. UNCLE LOYD’S CABIN - MORNING

A computer monitor focuses on Rick and Jim as they exitJim’s car. Besides the monitor sits the unopenedYoo-hoo. The computer monitor zooms in on Rick.

UNCLE LOYD (O.S.)Eh, I know you.

The computer monitor focues on Jim, zooms close, scans hisentire body while he walks toward the cabin. On the rightside of the screen, statistics appear, listing Jim’sphysical and mental characteristics, along with personalhistory.

Another scan of Jim is performed. On the screen, theresults of Jim’s scan appear: POTENTIAL THREAT ... MINIMAL.

Uncle Loyd’s skinny hand grabs the Yoo-hoo, uncaps it, movesit off table. The sound of Uncle Loyd drinking Yoo-hoo isheard.

EXT. UNCLE LOYD’S CABIN - MORNING

Jim and Rick stand outside of the dilapidated mobilehome. Jim knocks. The door opens partway.

UNCLE LOYDHave you been followed?

Jim looks at Rick. Rick looks at Jim.

RICK(to Jim)

Don’t look at me. I was sleeping.

JIM(to Uncle Loyd)

I don’t think so.

Uncle Loyd opens the door. He appears to be in his lateforties or early fifties. He looks at the duo suspiciously,then quickly glances behind them, scanning the yard. In aquick motion, he sweeps his arm behind them and pulls theminside. The sound of several locks are heard being locked.

38.

INT. UNCLE LOYD’S CABIN - DAY

Inside, the cabin is completely modern. A large,flat-screened TV hangs on the wall. A computer with a largeflat screen monitor sits atop a desk near the kitchen.

UNCLE LOYDRick, what do you want this time?

RICKMy friend here has a problem.

UNCLE LOYDRick, your friends always haveproblems. Those are the kind ofpeople you attract--people withproblems.

JIMWhenever I get nervous, I fart, andthis ruining my social life.

UNCLE LOYDListen kid, if that’s the extent ofyour problems, you should consideryourself blessed.

Uncle Loyd walks them to the door.

UNCLE LOYD (cont’d)I’m very busy, I have a conferencecall in two hours and I’m supposedto meet Farrah Faucet for lunch, so

JIMI have this idea, though. If itworks it could make a lot of money.

UNCLE LOYDSure you do, kid, you know how -

JIMYou help me make it and I’ll giveyou 50% of the profit.

RICKWhat about me?

JIM(to Rick)

You’ll get the other 25% and I’llget the remaining 25%.

Uncle Loyd stops, looks at watch, looks at Jim.

39.

UNCLE LOYDYou have one minute to pitch thisidea to me. If I like it, I’llgive you 1/2 an hour to discuss ofmy time. If not, you’ll have toleave.

JIM(takes a breath)

Alright, here goes.

INT. TRUCK STOP - DAY

A large truck stop store that sells snacks, trucker’ssupplies like portable TV’s, CB gear, mini-fridges, DVD’s,videos, groceries, and has a bank of phones on one side andpay computers with internet access, as well as auto supplieslike oil, brake fluid, cleaners, etc.

Wendy is roaming the snacks aisle, casually stuffing junkfood into her oversized sweat shirt.

Josh slips a bag of Combo’s into his backpack.

The truck driver enters the store, buys a soft drink and boxof cookies, then stands in line at the counter.

INT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE, DINING ROOM - DAY

Dining room with table and big windows overlooking thebackyard. Sandra Wheeler gently places a stop watch on oneside of the table. She opens a box of puzzle pieces anddumps them on the table.

She sets the timer. She looks at the puzzle pieces. Thestop watch alarm sounds. She begins assembling the puzzle.

INT. UNCLE LOYD’S CABIN - DAY

Uncle Loyd is sitting at a desk in his living room. Rickand Jim are sitting on a couch.

UNCLE LOYDLet me get this straight. You wantme to help you make a pill thatwill make your farts smell likeflowers.

40.

JIMYes. My 10 year high schoolreunion is coming to town in oneweek.

UNCLE LOYDDon’t go.

JIMI don’t plan to, but I deliverpizzas and I’m probably gonna endup delivering a pizza to some ofthem at hotels in the area.

(beat)It’ll be embarrasing if I haven’taccomplished anything in these lastten years.

UNCLE LOYDHow’s making a pill gonna help?

JIMAt least I can say I’m working onpatenting a new pill.

UNCLE LOYDI have two questions. Have youever been committed? What sizestraight jacket do you wear?

JIMI’m sorry I’ve wasted your time.

Jim gets up to leave.

JIM (cont’d)C’mon Rick. Let’s go.

UNCLE LOYDWait. Give me the pitch forthis idea.

JIMImagine taking a pill that allowsyour farts to smell likeflowers. Floral Farts. WithFloral Farts, you’ll always comeout smelling like roses.

(beat)What do you think? Could we makeit?

41.

UNCLE LOYDIf you have the right ingredients,you can make anything.

EXT. TRAILER BACKYARD - DAY

Jim is standing, blindfolded. Rick is standing beside him,holding his right hand. Uncle Loyd is leaning in close toJim.

Sitting on the top of a trampoline is the body of a car,complete with seats and seatbelts. The front half and theback section have been cut off. It has no engine.

Beside the trampoline sits an old tapeplayer connected toretro speakers, each a different size. Nearby, sits a carengine, connected to wiring and a battery.

A set of steps leads up to the trampoline to the car door.

UNCLE LOYDI only have ten minutes, so we haveto make this fast. Are you ready?

JIMYeah, I guess. Rick, you got myback, right?

RICKYou’ll be fine.

Rick walks Jim toward the trampoline.

UNCLE LOYD(to Rick)

Stop.

Uncle Loyd begins spinning Jim in circles.

JIMWhat are you doing? I’m alreadyblindfolded!

UNCLE LOYDNo one can know where this specialingredient is. If you know whatdirection you’re going in, yourlife could be in danger.

Uncle Loyd stops spinning Jim. Rick walks Jim up thestairs. Uncle Loyd gets in car and buckles Jim’s seatbelt.

42.

Uncle Loyd waves for Rick to come tohim. Rick does. Uncle Loyd whispers something in Rick’sear. Rick shakes his head, returns to the engine, turningthe key in the ignition. It roars to life, rumblingsteadily.

Rick turns on the nearby tapeplayer. Loud musicerupts. Rick walks to the trampoline.

UNCLE LOYD (cont’d)(to Jim)

Hang on. It’s gonna be a littlebumpy.

Rick climbs on trampoline and starts jumping. The car bodybounces up and down.

UNCLE LOYD (cont’d)Whatever you do, keep your armsinside!

Uncle Loyd pretends to drive. Jim holds his arms aroundhimself. Rick jumps on the trampoline. The car bounceswildly.

Uncle Loyd leans out window and looks toward Rick

UNCLE LOYD (cont’d)We’re almost there!

Rick’s jumping becomes softer, and after a ten seconds,stops completely. Uncle Loyd gets out of the car, walks toJim’s side, takes his hand, and walks him out.

Uncle Loyd walks Jim around the backyard, turning at sharpangles, while walking in a vicinity of about 1,000 squarefeet. Uncle Loyd leads Jim to a patch of multi-coloredflowers.

UNCLE LOYD (cont’d)We’re here. I’m gonna take offyour blindfold. Do not turnaround.

Uncle Loyd guides Jim toward the flowers.

JIMWhat do I do now?

UNCLE LOYDThis is my special garden. To makeyour idea work, you need one ofthese.

43.

JIMWhich one?

UNCLE LOYDThe orange one. The other’s arepoisonous. I think. Or, is? Youhave life insurance?

Uncle Loyd turns to Rick.

UNCLE LOYD (cont’d)Rick! Start the car!

INT. JIM WHEELER’S CAR - DAY

Jim is driving. Rick is looking out the window, eatingchips. In the backseat is the flower in a special plasticcase, along with a list of ingredients necessary for FloralFarts.

JIMYour uncle’s crazy.

RICKI told you he was little paranoid.

JIMA little? At least we got theflower.

RICKThe ingredients, too.

INT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE, KITCHEN - NIGHT

The kitchen is a mess. Flower remnants, juice stains, andleftover ingredients litter the room.

An array of ingredients are spread out on the kitchen tableand countertops. Water, honey, molasses, fresh flowers,vitamins, supplements, fresh herbs, aloe juice.

Jim and Rick are standing at the kitchen countertop, lookingat a glass of green liquid. Jim pushes the glass towardRick.

RICKI’m not drinking it.

44.

JIMThink of it as anopportunity. You’re like a testpilot. You’ll go down in history -

RICKYeah right, as a dead person.

(beat)You should test them on animals.

JIMWhere? Wait a sec. You have thekeys to the petstore.

INT. PET STORE - NIGHT

Small pet store. Lined with cages for birds, puppies,reptiles, gerbils, hamsters, puppies, kittens, iguanas,bunny rabbits. Aquariums with snakes, fish.

Frantically, Rick and Jim are adding green liquid, thefloral farts concoction, to the pets food dishes. They arelapping up the concoction hungrily.

RICKThey better not die.

JIMRick, relax. It’s just vitaminsand stuff. If anything, they’ll bestronger, have better eyesight.

RICKAnd their farts’ll smell likeflowers.

JIMExactly. Don’t worry. This isgonna be worth a lot ofmoney. You’re gonna get a cut.

The animals in one cage start to fight over the liquid.

JIM (cont’d)See? They know what’s good forthem. Instinct.

45.

INT. LUXURY HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Natalie, wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt, sits on a stoolat the kitchen counter, typing into a laptopcomputer. Bryce, her husband, is plopped on the couch,channel-surfing.

NATALIEYou got another call from Eve.

(beat)Who is she?

BRYCEShe’s new.

NATALIEWhy does she have our home number?

BRYCEShe’s not too bright. The otherdoctors lose their patience.

NATALIEBut why does she need our homenumber?

BRYCEShe’s not the only one who has it.

NATALIEI don’t want her calling here.

BRYCENatalie. We’ve been overthis. I’m trying to relax okay?

NATALIEFine. But I don’t want hercalling. Can we agree onthat? You said that compromise isthe glue that holds a relationshiptogether. I don’t -

BRYCEWe’ve already been over this. Canyou just drop it?!

NATALIEWhy are you yelling at me?

BRYCEI’m not yelling at you. This isyelling at you! This is my first

(MORE)

46.

BRYCE (cont’d)day off in a month and I’d like torelax. I bust my hump at work. Iwasn’t just born with a pretty faceand a nice body so I could sit infront of a TV camera and read wordson a screen for an hour everynight.

NATALIEMy job consists of more than -

BRYCE(overlapping)

And having to fight off stares fromall your fans whenever we’re at thegrocery -

NATALIE(overlapping)

just reading words from ...

Natalie grabs the remote from Bryce’s hand, opens thesliding door and tosses it into the pool. Then, Nataliestorms into the bathroom and slams the door.

Bryce walks to bathroom door, starts banging it.

BRYCENatalie, open up. Right now.

NATALIEYou’re a meanie. I’m not gonnaopen up until you apologize!

The doorbell rings.

Bryce walks to the door and peers in the peep hole. Throughthe peephole, we see the fisheye view of Wendy LaShane,Natalie’s younger sister, and her friend Josh.

They are both dirty-looking. Their hair is unclean anduncombed. Josh is unshaven. Wendy’s holding a bottle ofwine in her hand that’s half-empty. She’s giggling. WhenBryce puts his eye to the door, Josh smiles andwaves. Wendy waves, giggling.

Bryce opens the door, leaving the chain on, peeking at them.

BRYCEI don’t have any money. Wronghouse. Bye.

Bryce returns to the bathroom door, banging it.

47.

NATALIEWho’s at the door?

BRYCESome homeless people. I told ’emwrong house.

Doorbell rings again, then again. Bryce walks to frontdoor, opens it, leaving chain on.

BRYCE (cont’d)You have the wrong house! You havethe wrong neighborhood. If you -

WENDYI’m here for Natalie.

BRYCEWhat do you want?

WENDYI’m her sister.

EXT. LUXURY HOUSE, FRONT DOOR - NIGHT

Wendy and Josh are standing at the front door. The frontdoor opens and Natalie steps out. Natalie’s eyes look likeshe’s been crying. Natalie leans in to hug Wendy, sniffs,and hugs her carefully. Josh puts his arms out waiting fora hug. Natalie looks at him, then looks at Wendy.

NATALIEWhat are you doing here?

Wendy shrugs.

WENDYI was hoping you would let uscrash.

NATALIEIt’s midnight.

JOSHNot in Tokyo.

NATALIECouldn’t you have called?

WENDYDid you get my letter?

Natalie looks at Josh. Then pulls Wendy aside.

48.

NATALIEWho’s he?

JOSHI’m Josh. I have ears like a fox.

WENDY(overlapping)

He’s my bodyguard.

Natalie brings Wendy to the side of the house, further awayfrom Josh.

NATALIEIt’s been three years. And youshow up with some homeless guywanting to spend the night?

JOSHI’m not homeless. I’m homefree. Iam an intentional couchsurfer.

WENDY(to Natalie)

Wow, you haven’t changed.

Wendy walks over to Josh.

WENDY (cont’d)Let’s go.

Wendy walks away, Josh follows. Natalie watches them, thenfollows them.

NATALIEWendy! I’ll give you a ride.

EXT. MOTEL, OUTSIDE FRONT OFFICE - NIGHT

Wendy and Josh are standing outside a shiny SUV. Natalie issitting inside the SUV. Natalie counts out some money, thenhands it to Wendy.

WENDYThanks.

The SUV drives away. Wendy pockets the money. Wendy andJosh walk into the lobby of motel.

49.

INT. MOTEL, LOBBY - NIGHT

Poorly decorated motel lobby. A fat MOTEL CLERK sits behindthe counter watching TV. He looks at Wendy and Jimsuspiciously.

MOTEL CLERKCan I help you?

WENDYDo you have a pool?

MOTEL CLERKYeah, but it’s closed right now.

JOSHHow much for a room?

MOTEL CLERKSixty-five a night. No non-smokingrooms left.

JOSHIt says fifty a night on the sign.

MOTEL CLERKThat’s for the non-smoking rooms.

Josh looks at Wendy. Wendy looks at Josh. The motel clerkturns in his chair and continues watching TV.

EXT. MOTEL, POOL - NIGHT

Standing near the pool, Josh and Wendy watch the clerk as hewatches the TV set behind the front desk. They creep towardthe pool, strip off their clothes, and slip into the water.

They swim around for a few minutes, then quietly climb outof the pool, put on their clothes, don their backpacks, andexit the motel yard.

INT. AMBERSVILLE HOSPITAL, LOBBY - NIGHT

Ambersville Hospital is like most hospitals, onlysmaller. A small collection of pictures line the wall,consisting of drab portraits of donors, colorful handdrawnartwork by local school students, and generic seascapes.

50.

Jim Wheeler is dressed in his Planet Pizza uniform, thecollared shirt that’s streaked with pizza sauce stains, athin film of dust dough, baggy khaki shorts, with blacksocks pulled up to his knees above destroyed sneakers. Heapproaches the front desk.

In one hand is his pizza warmer bag. In the other hand is abag containing a two-liter bottle of soda.

Behind the cront desk, sits a CLERK, a grim-looking Indianlady who looks tired, severly depressed, or both.

JIM(setter warmer bag on counter)

I have a pizza delivery for Eve.

CLERKEve?

JIMTell her it’s adam. I want my ribback. Ha, ha, ha.

The clerk looks at Jim flatly.

JIM (cont’d)You know, Adam and Eve, like I’mAdam and, awww, forget it.

CLERKWhat department?

JIMICU. I see you. Do you see me?

Jim looks directly at camera.

JIM (cont’d)The pay is bad, but the lithium’sfree.

The clerk types into the computer. The computer startsprinting. The phone rings. She picks it up, listens, putsit on hold, grabs clipboard. Rips printed paper, hands itto Jim. She leaves quickly with clipboard.

INT. AMBERSVILLE HOSPITAL, HALLWAY - NIGHT

Jim is walking rapidly down the hallway. He looks at theprintout. We see a closeup of the directions. The firstline is readable, but the remaining lines are smeared,unreadable.

51.

He tries his cellphone but it doesn’t work. He looksaround. He enters the stairwell.

INT. AMBERSVILLE HOSPITAL, STAIRWELL - NIGHT

Jim gallops up the stairwell, from floor to floor, until hereaches the exit door to the roof. Jim pushes it open,walks through.

EXT. AMERSVILLE HOSPITAL, ROOF - NIGHT

Jim exits the stairwell door to the rooftop, sets the pizzawarmer bag and soda bottle down. He dials his cell phone.

A crash is heard somewhere on the roof. Jim quitsdialing. Jim walks in the direction of thesound. Shuffling is heard, then giggling, then heavybreathing and the sound of whispering voices, a male and afemale.

Curious, Jim creeps toward the sound, hiding behind the a/cunits. He spots a nurse and a doctor fondling each other inthe shadows behind a rooftop building.

Spellbound, Jim watches them from behind the a/c unit,crouching down so he won’t be seen.

From Jim’s vantage point, we see two people, BRYCE GALLAGER,A thirty-something doctor with dirty blond hair, and EVE, anurse who appears to be in her mid-twenties. They arekissing and holding each other. Bryce is fidgeting with hernurse’s uniform.

Jim’s cell phone rings. He turns it off, and lays downbehind the a/c unit, with his back to the ground.

Bryce buttons his pants and walks toward Jim’s hidingspot. Bryce circles the unit and spots Jim, lying with hisback on the ground.

JIMHi. Sorry to interrupt you, I waslooking, I was trying to make aphone call and you can’t get cellservice so I went to the roof andand then I heard a noise and I -

Jim stops talking as he sees Eve jogging toward them. Evereaches Jim and Bryce, wearing only her panties, and hernurses uniform. Her breasts, swinging liberally, nearlyfall out of her uniform.

52.

EVEYou found me.

Jim, recognizing that he’s staring at Eve, looks to theground, then at Bryce, then at the sky, then at Bryce, thenat the sky.

BRYCEYou ordered it?

Eve shakes her head, smiles.

BRYCE (cont’d)I got it. Go put your clothes on.

Eve gives Bryce a kiss on the cheek and walks back to wherethey were. Bryce pulls out his wallet and hands Jim twotwenty-dollar bills.

BRYCE (cont’d)Keep it. You didn’t see anythingup here.

Jim nods.

EXT. AMBERSVILLE HOSPITAL, FRONT DOOR - NIGHT

Jim exits through the hospital front doors into the parkinglot. The place is swarmed with police, FBI and what appearsto be the SWAT team. A group of police cars are parkednearby.

In the front yard of the building, adjacent to the hospital,various animals--cats, mice, rabbits, rats--are runningaround the yard, racing toward a nearby wooded area. Theyare tagged. Some are disoriented, running in circles.

Jim approaches a cop.

JIMWhat’s going on?

COPSomeone set the animalsloose. Smashed up the lab. Animalrights wackos or something.

53.


Jim slips into his car, tossing the pizza bags in back. Hestarts the car, backs up, and turns on the radio.

RADIO HOSTYou’re a long haul trucker,correct?

TRUCKERYes sir. Fifteen years.

RADIO HOSTAnd you were driving through arainstorm in New Mexico one night,when you had a closeencounter. You saw a bright lightand, well tell us what happenedfrom there.

Jim squints his eyes, leaning in closer to hear.

TRUCKERAt first I thought it was ahelicopter, but the light got sobright I couldn’t see anything. Ihad to park my rig.

RADIO HOSTWow.

TRUCKERThen everything cuts off, allelectrical. I try my CB and it’sdead. My cell phone, too. Thelight got so bright I couldn’t seeanything, it filled up thecab. Then I heard the door open.

The trucker begins breathing heavily. Jim turns his carinto a quiet neighborhood street.

RADIO HOSTTake your time.

TRUCKERThen I heard the door open, and Isee this creature, all silvery likewith smooth skin, these big eyes,and

The trucker begins breathing heavily, and sounds as if he’sabout to cry. Jim’s eyes widen as he listens intently.

54.

TRUCKER (cont’d)I coudn’t move and it reaches outthis finger and touches my stomach.

From the rearview mirror, the figure of someone sits up inthe backseat of Jim’s car. Jim, sensing that someone is inhis car, pulls the car over. Jim slowly turns around.

TRUCKER (cont’d)It put something in me.

Jim sees a girl sitting in the back of his car, eating aslice of pizza. She’s wearing a black, hooded sweatshirt,and has short hair. Jim shakes, startled.

JIMAaaa! What are you doing in mycar?

WENDYThis pizza’s cold.

JIMWhat are you doing? Who are you?

Wendy continues munching the pizza.

JIM (cont’d)Get out. Get out! You have fiveseconds or I’m calling thepolice. And they know me, becauseI give them free pizzas.

WENDYC’mon.

JIMYou will be arrested. You brokeinto my car.

WENDYIt was open.

JIMYou stole a pizza.

WENDYOne slice. It’s cold anyway.

Jim grabs the box of pizza that’s beside Wendy and sits itin the front seat.

55.

JIMEvidence. One, two, three

Headlights grow brighter in Jim’s rear window.

JIM (cont’d)Is that a cop?

Wendy shows a look of concern. In a quick motion, she pullsthe latch on Jim’s seat, throwing it down so he falls intoher lap. She pulls Jim onto her, kissing him, guiding hishands. At first, Jim fights this enigmatic stranger, thenallows her to have her way.

A bright light shines in Jim’s exterior rear view mirror andreflects onto Jim and Wendy. The sound of crunching isheard as footsteps grow closer. A flashlight lands on Jimand Wendy. A hand raps on the window.

COP (O.S.)License and registeration.

Jim untangles himself from Wendy, sifts through hisglovebox, digs out some folded papers, hands it to cop.

COPYou have a tail light out.

JIMYes sir. I’m really sorryabout. Actually, I was gonna getthat fixed tomorrow.

COPDo you know where you are?

JIM(to himself)

I thought I did.

COP(to Wendy)

Do I know you?

Wendy shakes head. The cop eyes Jim.

COP (cont’d)This your girlfriend.

JIMSomething like that.

56.

COPI don’t like filling outpaperwork. Get that tail lightfixed, alright?

JIMYes sir.


Jim’s driving, glancing in the rear view mirror. Wendy’ssitting in the back quietly, searching through her backpack.

WENDYSir?

JIMI don’t know who you think you are,but you’ve got a lot ofnerve. What are you doing in mycar? Did you fall asleep orsomething?

Jim slows the car as he approaches a stop sign. At the stopsign, Wendy opens the door, jumps out, and runs toward anearby wooded area. Jim watches her run away into thewoods.

JIM (cont’d)Hey. Wait!

She disappears into the woods. Jim drives off, looks athimself in the mirror, then looks away. He slowly toucheshis lips.

Jim opens the pizza box. Although one slice is missing, thepizza’s been folded together to hide it. It’s oval.

Jim shakes his head in frustration, angry, then startsgiggling.

EXT. WOODS - NIGHT

We see the woods, from Wendy’s point of view, as she pushesbranches away, runs over fallen trees and jumps overobstacles. In her hand is a tactical flashlight, cutting asharp beam of light ahead. She reaches a claring where asmall tent is pitched.

Cautiously, she shines her lights around thecampsite. Looking around, she enters the tent.

57.

INT. TENT - NIGHT

Once inside, Wendy undresses and lays down on her back onher sleeping bag. She places one hand behind her head,eyeing the sky from a screened window. Her other hand movesslowly toward her face. Her fingers touch her lips.

EXT. WOODS - NIGHT

We see hands pushing away branches as someone approaches theclearing. We hear heavy breathing. The sound of cracklingbranches is heard beneath footsteps.

INT. TENT - NIGHT

Wendy wakes abruptly, slides herself toward the tentopening, peeks outside toward the sound. The crackling ofbranches is heard growing louder. Wendy scans thecampsite. She grabs her flashlight, turning it on-and-offtwice. In the distance, a flashlight flickers on-and-offtwice.

EXT. CAMPSITE - NIGHT

Josh emerges from the woods. He’s sweating and scratchedfrom the branches. Wendy’s head sticks from the tentopening, watching him.

JOSHWhere’d you go? We were supposedto stick together.

WENDYI got a ride.

JOSHI almost got arrested.

wendy examines the actions of a small bug. wendy gathersher backpack, exits the tent, stands, swings backpack on.

JOSH (cont’d)If I get arrested again, they’renot gonna let me out. Why am Ieven talking to you?

WENDYYou worry too much.

58.

JOSHYou don’t worry enough.

Wendy walks away toward the woods.

JOSH (cont’d)Where are you going?

WENDYThe pet store?

JOSHNow?

WENDYEveryone’s at the hospital.

Wendy continues walking.

JOSHAlright. This is the last trip Igo on with you. Tomorrow, we’resplitting. I’m leaving. I’m goingto Oregon.

Wendy continues walking. Josh follows.

JOSH (cont’d)I’m serious. Tomorrow, I’mleaving. You’re on your own.

WENDY(to herself)

That’s what you always say.

EXT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE, FRONT YARD - NIGHT

Jim steers car into driveway, parks, opens door. A scrawnycat, with a tag on its ear, scurries from underneath Jim’scarseat and jumps out of the car.

Jim grabs a pizza warmer bag, runs after the feline, andcatches it with the warmer bag. The cat mews loudly. Jimexamines it, noticing a tag on it’s ear, and an infection onits neck.

JIMWhat’d they do to you?

Jim cradles the cat inside the warmer bag, walks to frontdoor. The cat struggles to get out. Jim crouches down,releases cat. It runs underneath the front porch.

59.

EXT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE, FRONT YARD - NIGHT

We see a closeup of the grass beside the front porch. Afrisbee, with an open can of tuna in it and severalsingle-serving containers of creamer, is set down on thegrass.

We see the silohette of a the cat, eyeing the meal, runningin its direction.

EXT. PET STORE - NIGHT

Wendy and Josh stand at the backdoor of the petstore. Wendy is keeping watch, while Josh uses a crowbar topop open the door. A snap is heard. The door opens. Theyenter.

INT. PET STORE - NIGHT

A pet store. Josh and Wendy open the cages, the pets runaround in confusion. Wendy uses a key to open the glasscages. Puppies, kittens, hamsters, rabbits, run around thestore. The dogs are barking. Wendy and Josh scoot theanimals outside. They cradle a puppy and kittens in theirarms and run out the back door.

INT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE, JIM’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Jim walks into his room, a sparsely furnished attic space,and turns on a little TV that sits atop milk cartons in thecorner. On one side of the room is a couch, with a sleepingbag draped over the the armrest, and a pillow at oneend. Jim sits down on the couch.

The TV is on Channel 2 News. An attractive female reporter,Natalie Gallager, stands in front of AmbersvilleHospital. Beside her stands a SWAT team member. An SUVwith tinted windows is parked nearby.

NATALIE GALLAGERwhere eco-terrorists have destroyedthousands of dollars worth ofequipment and released severalhundred animals. At the moment,the suspects are at large. SWATteam member Gary O’Connell has thisto say.

Natalie Gallager hands the microphone to Gary O’Connell.

60.

GARY O’CONNELL, dressed in a black SWAT outfit, appearing tobe in his mid-forties, takes the microphone.

GARY O’CONNELLThese suspects appear to be a groupof 2-4 people, two men in theirmid-twenties. They are consideredarmed and dangerous.

Jim leans in closer. The TV flashes to a surveillancecamera image of the two suspects, Wendy and Josh, wearinghooded sweatshirts and using a tire iron to smash equipmentin an animal testing facility.

(continued)

The work of eco-terrorism isconsidered a federal offense andthere will be a five-thousanddollar reward for informationleading to their capture.

The camera zooms in on the faces of Wendy and Josh.

JIMNo way.

Jim stands, starts dialing his cell phone, then stops. Heputs the cell phone down. He touches his lips.

EXT. AMBERSVILLE SUBURB - DAY

This suburb lies near a section of woods, the same woodsthat Wendy disappeared into the last time Jim saw her. Jim,dressed his "Planet Pizza" uniform, at his car, looks bothways to make sure no one is around. Jim walks brisklytoward the woods.

Jim approaches the woods and enters. His cellphonerings. Startled, Jim jumps. He quickly answers.

RICK (O.S.)You needa get over here.

JIMWhy? What’s wrong.

A click is heard as Rick hangs up.

61.

EXT. STRIP MALL, COSTUMES & MORE - DAY

Rick is standing outside the costume shop. We see a closeupof his face. His eyes wide, he’s biting his lips. Heappears very nervous.

The camera pulls away to reveal Rick standing amidst a crowdof TV news reporters, cops, FBI who are circulating insideand outside the pet shop. Animal Control workers arereturning with the released pets.

Jim approaches Rick. Rick looks at Jim carefully.

JIMWhat happened?

Rick walks away from the crowd.

RICKSomeone let the pets out next door.

JIMAre you serious? Someone did that-

RICK(overlapping)

At the hospital I know. It’s allover the news. They’re calling itterrorism. Our fingerprints areeverywhere.

JIMYou’re not gonna get introuble. You had keys to thestore.

RICKThat’s why I’m a suspect.

JIMRick. You were watching thestore. That’s your alibi.

RICKThat’s why they’re gonna blameme. If I get in trouble, I’m gonnaget put away and medicated again.

JIMIf anyone asks anything, just tellthem I was walking the pet storewith you.

62.

Jim’s cell phone rings. Jim looks at it.

JIM (cont’d)I gotta get back to work.

RICKWait up. I gotta show yousomething.

EXT. STRIP MALL, PARK ACROSS STREET - DAY

Rick walks Jim across the street to a park. We see patchesof beautiful, multi-colored flowers dotting the park. Theyare not in an orderly pattern, but are scattered. We seeJim’s beatup sneakers and Rick’s shiny black dress shoesamong the sea of flowers. The camera slowly pans up toJim’s face.

JIMSomeone finally did somelandscaping.

RICKHeh, heh, heh. We did.

JIMI don’t know what you’re talkingabout but I gotta get to work.

Rick grabs a nearby stick and crouches to the ground. Hewiggles the stick beneath the flowers, turning themover. The flowers are growing from a green colored turd.

JIM (cont’d)It’s a turd. So what.

RICKAnd where’d the turd comefrom. The pets that we fed yourformula. It makes flowers growfrom their poo.

JIMRick. It’s called fertilizer,spanish for manure.

RICKIt’s that stuff we made.

Jim walks away, heading to his car.

63.

JIMI gotta go to work.

Rick chases after Jim.

RICKYou try the recipe. I’ll bet youpoop flowers.

JIMI’ll bet you fifty bucks that Idon’t make a flowerbed.

F.B.I. AGENT (O.S.)Hey!

An FBI agent, casually dressed, wearing sunglasses,approaches Jim and Rick.

RICK(to Jim)

See. I told you.

F.B.I. AGENT(to Rick)

How you doing? I’m special agentGary Bolan. I’d like to ask you afew questions if you don’t mind.

JIM(to Rick)

I gotta get to work. See you.

Jim walks to his car. On the way, he slows down, noticingthat the patches of flowers aren’t in a landscaped pattern.

Jim gets in car, drives away. The FBI agent, who’s talkingto Rick and has a notepad in his hand, jots down Jim’slicence plate number.


Jim walks into the living room. His uniform is dirty. Rickis sitting on the living room couch, watching the TV show’Blind Date’, a realty show that follows strangers on adate.

RICKThanks for leaving.

64.

JIMWhat’d you want me to do. I wasworking. Sorry. What the copwant?

RICKHe asked me some questions. I toldhim I was with you that night?

JIMAw man. What’d you tell him wewere doing?

RICKWatching TV.

Rick walks into kitchen, returns to living room withmeasuring cup, full of concoction. He holds it out to Jim.

RICK (cont’d)C’mon, ha, ha. You said you’d trytonight and if you pooped flowers,you’d give me fiftydollars. That’s what you said.

JIMWhat are you gonna do? Climb intothe sewer?

Rick sets the glass onto a nearby night stand, disappears,returns with five gallon bucket lined with garbage bag. Jimshakes his head.

RICKYou said you’d drink it.

JIMFine.

Jim grabs the glass, drinks it all. The green goo forms amoustache on his lips. Jim has a look of disgust on face.

JIM (cont’d)Happy?

RICKWe have to test it.

JIMIt’s gonna take a while.

65.

EXT. DRIVE THRU, MEXICAN RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Jim and Rick are in Jim’s car. Jim’s sitting on the driverside, parked in front of the menu/intercom of Mexicanrestaurant. The drive thru speaker blares static.

Jim leans toward intercom.

JIMI’d like ten double bean burritos,a large slushee, a bag of cinammontwirls, and -

(turning to Rick)What do you want?


Jim and Rick are sitting in the living room, watchingTV. On the coffee table in front of them sits the wrappersfrom the food they’ve just eaten. Jim has his eyeshalf-closed.

Using a remote, Rick is flipping through the channels. Hestops at a local news report.

On the TV, Natalie Gallager, is standing in front of the petstore beside FBI agent Gary Bolan, the one who questionedRick earlier. It’s a broadcast from earlier that day. Inthe background, Rick can be seen talking to another newsreporter.

RICKLook. There I am!

We see a close up of the TV. Natalie Gallager is standing infront of the pet store.

NATALIE GALLAGERThe local police an state FBIagents believe the break-in atHuntsville Lab and the break in atPet World are the work of the samepeople

RICKThere’s me in the background.

JIMI see you.

66.

NATALIE GALLAGERThey believe the perpetrators arearmed and dangerous, and areoffering a cash reward of $50,000dollars to anyone with informationleading to an arrest.

RICKI could use $50,000.

NATALIE GALLAGERHere is a picture, captured fromsurveillance camera, of what isbelieved to be the two suspects inthis case.

The picture flashes on the screen. A black-and-white stillframe of Wendy and Josh, smashing up the lab facility,setting caged animals free.

Jim gets up from the couch and sits close to thescreen. The picture cuts away.

Natalie continues in her newscast, interviewing FBI agentGary Bolan. Rick is seen in the background, talking withpeople.

RICKThere I am. In the back. See?

Jim, stunned at the confirmation that Wendy was the girl inthe car, is deep in thought. He walks out of the livingroom and exits the front door.

EXT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE, FRONT PORCH - NIGHT

Jim walks out to the front porch, sits on chair. Pusheschair back, so that it’s tipped on two legs, leaning againstwall.

Rick walks out to front porch.

RICKWhat’s wrong?

Jim nods. A meow is heard from under the porch. Rickstoops to look beneath the porch.

RICK (cont’d)Hey kitty. C’mere kitty.

(to Jim)There’s a cat down here.

67.

Jim nods. The kitty wanders toward Rick, who grabs it,brings it up to his chest. Rick looks at the tag on thecat’s ear.

RICK (cont’d)Where’d you get this? Is this fromthe hospital?

JIMI need you to keep a secret.

INT. VAN - NIGHT

We see the backs of two FBI agents, parked in a van acrossthe street from Jim Wheeler’s house. They are watching thetwo with binaculars.

Between the FBI agents is a box of donuts and two large cupsof coffee. One of them is eating a donut.

Jim is talking to Rick, using his hands, appearingfrustrated. Rick is nodding. Then, Rick appears to saysomething, and Rick and Jim appear to be arguing.

EXT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE, FRONT PORCH - NIGHT

Jim and Rick are standing there. Jim’s rubbing his handthrough his head.

RICKWhere’d she go?

JIMThat’s the funny thing. Shedisappeared into the woods.

RICKLike a ghost.

Jim’s sweating. Looks pale. Jim clutches his stomach,bends over.

JIMAwwwww. Burritos.

Rick runs inside the house. Jim stumbles toward thedoor. Rick runs out with a bucket lined with a kitchenbag. Rick is blocking the front door.

68.

JIM (cont’d)Rick, get out of my way.

RICKThis is your toilet.

Jim runs off the front porch, heads toward backyard. Rickfollows.

INT. VAN - NIGHT

The two FBI agents sit in the van, with binaculars on Rickand Jim. We see a closeup of the moustache of one of theFBI agents as he eats a Boston Creme donut.

We see their view, through the binaculars as they follow Jimrun into the backyard, crouch in a darkened area, pull downhis pants.

EXT. VAN - NIGHT

Half-eaten Boston Creme donut is tossed out window.

EXT. JIM WHEELERS BACKYARD - NIGHT

Jim Wheeler is crouched, pants down, arms around knees, ashe poops in the backyard. Rick, stunned, is watching himsilently with a 5-gallon bucket in his hand.

JIMWhat are you doing?! This isn’tthe olympics.

RICKYou’re supposed to poo in thebucket.

JIMYeah right. I’m like a handgrenade.

(beat)You enjoying yourself.

RICKHuh, huh. Yes.

JIMGet me some paper.

69.

RICKIf there’s flowers growing theretomorrow, you owe me fifty dollars.

JIMFine, whatever.

JIM (cont’d)Can I have some toiletpaper? Please?


Jim, dressed in his pizza uniform, is driving his car in ananonymous subdivision. It’s raining outside. Hiswindsheild wipers are old, making it difficult to see.

JIM (O.S.)Sometimes I feel like I’m the lastpizza delivery driver onearth. It’s an apocalyptic vision.

Outside, the subdivision changes into a different landscape,one of bombed buildings, levelled houses, smashedcars. Groups of people sit amist the rubble staring attheir TVs, as if nothing’s happened. A small number ofpeople scatter among the ruins. The sound of a siren isheard.

JIM (O.S.) (cont’d)As people hear my car rumble intotheir neighborhood, where everyneighbor is a hood, as they’realerted by the schreeching beltthat needs replaced, they ungluethemselves from the TV and stumbleoutside.

Several dishevelled-looking vagabonds wander toward Jim’scar.

JIM (O.S.) (cont’d)They wander toward me, junkies inneed of a cheese fix.

(beat)I’m in a gated community, trying toescape.

Jim’s car maneuvers around the vagabonds and heads towardthe closed subdivison gate.

70.

JIM (O.S.) (cont’d)This time, however, the gate isclosed. And the two guards,rentacops with bad haircuts,stagger toward me demanding themeat lover’s special.

Two rentacops stagger toward Jim’s car, rubbing their belly,their hands on their guns.

JIM (O.S.) (cont’d)It may sound like a nightmare butat least I’m wanted.

Jim accelerates, his car heading for the gates, smashingthrough. He races down another street toward a light in thedistance.

JIM (O.S.) (cont’d)A friendly planet. A fuel stop forthis spaceship.

Jim slows his car, parks at a convenient store.

INT. CONVENIENT STORE - NIGHT

We see a closeup view of old hotdogs on their ferrs wheel asthey slowly rotate beneath a heat lamp. The camera backs upand we see Jim eyeing them. He grabs a bag of Cheeto’s andwalks to the slurpee machine.

Jim stops at the slurpee machine, puts Cheetos onshelf. Grabbing a cup, he places it beneath a nozzle, thenturns the knob. A bell is heard as the convenience storedoor opens. He turns around to see who walked in.

It’s Wendy LaShane, wearing a hooded sweatshirt, hood overher head, and vanity glasses, tinted orange.

Suprised to see her, but unsure if it is her, Jim does adouble take, watching her as she cruises theaisle. Meanwhile, the slurpee flows over the cup and ontohis hand. He stops the machine, wipes hand on pants.

Leaving the Cheetos and slurpee behind, Jim walks down theaisle across from the one that Wendy is in, following her,watching her shoplift snacks and other items.

She turns around to reach for something in the aisle facinghim. She looks directly at him. Both their eyesmeet. Realizing that she’s been caught, they stare at eachother for a moment. She recognizes that Jim’s been watchingher.

71.

She looks at him with a blank stare, showing her boldness,her nonchalonce toward what’s happening. He’s the one witha guilty expression.

In a nervous instant, Jim skitaddles to the counter with hisCheetos, grabs the slurpee on the way there.

As he’s paying, a chime is heard as the door opens. A copwalks inside. It’s the same cop that pulled Jim over thatnight when he was parked with Wendy.

JIMHi.

COPHey.

The cop walks toward the back and pours some coffee. Jimlooks around for Wendy. As Jim receives his change, anotherchime is heard as Wendy leaves the store.


Jim gets into his car, puts Cheetos onto passenger seat,drinks some slurpee, starts car.

WENDY (O.S.)Go.

Jim turns around, looks in backseat. Wendy is lying onbackseat, her head staring toward roof of car.

JIMWhere?

WENDYYou’re the driver.


Jim’s driving, slowly eating Cheetos. He looks in therearview mirror to see Wendy sit up, then lift hersweatshirt. An avalanche of snacks fall out. Wendy putsthem into her backpack.

JIMSo, uh, what’s your name?

Jim eats some Cheetos.

72.

JIM (cont’d)My name’s Jim.

WENDYStop here.

Jim stops the car near a dark, wooded area. Wendy grabs herbackpack, steps outside, walks quickly toward the woods.

JIMNice talking with you. Yeah.

Jim continues driving, watching in the rearview mirror asWendy approaches the woods.

EXT. ROAD NEAR WOODS - NIGHT

Jim slows car, parks on side of road, turns off engine. Heexits car, runs toward the area where Wendy entered thewoods, following her.

Quietly, Jim follows Wendy’s silohette as she heads deeperinto the woods. After about ten seconds of following her,she stops.

Ahead of her, flashlights are moving around hercampsite. The lights are held by four cops as they rummagethrough the tent. Wendy turns and runs right into Jim.

The flashlights from the cops are aimed in their direction,and Wendy and Jim make a mad dash back toward Jim’scar. The flashlights from the cops dance behind them.

Wendy and Jim break free from the woods and race towardJim’s car. He jumps inside, starts it, drives off.

The cops exit the woods, but Jim’s car is already gone.


Jim and Wendy are silent. Jim’s looking in the rearviewmirror, eating Cheetos nervously. Wendy is fishing throughther backback.

JIMWhat was that all about?

(beat)Look, I’m not gonna tell onyou. For releasing the labanimals.

(beat)(MORE)

73.

JIM (cont’d)In fact, I wish I had enough gutsto do something like that.

Wendy pulls out an apple from her backpack, peels offsticker. She puts sticker on dashboard. She rubs apple onsweatshirt.

Wendy rolls up window to leave a 4-inch gap, places apple onwindow, continues rolling up window until apple is slicedalmost through. She rolls window down, grabbing apple andtwisting it to break it in half. She hands one half to Jim.

Jim takes it, looks at her curiously.

JIM (cont’d)Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Jim takes a bite of the apple.

EXT. PLANET PIZZA STORE - NIGHT

Jim’s car pulls up to side of store that’s cast inshadow. Jim is driving. Wendy is in passenger side.


Jim and Wendy in car.

JIMWhat are you gonna do? Listen, youcan talk to me. I’m not gonna hurtyou.

(beat)You’re welcome to hang out in thecar. I get off work in a halfhour.

Wendy takes off glasses, looks at Jim blankly.

JIM (cont’d)Alright.

INT. PLANET PIZZA STORE, BATHROOM - NIGHT

Jim is sitting on toilet, flipping through a fashionmagazine. He stops as an ad for men’s cologne with a samplestrip attached. He rubs the strip against neck.

74.

Jim gets up from toilet, looks at himself inmirror. Splashes water on his face. Looks at hishair. Leans in closer. Moves his finger around a grayhair.


Jim slips into his car, setting a pizza box and two cans ofSprite into the front seat. Wendy is napping in thebackseat.

JIMI made a pizza. My manager wasasking about you. I told her yourmy cousin. I told her you wereshy.

Wendy opens pizza. It’s a vegan pie. She closes the box.

WENDYThank you.

JIMShe speaks. Ha, ha, ha. You’rewelcome. I figured you were vegan,so no cheese.

Jim starts car and drives off.


Jim is driving. Wendy is the backseat, looking out thewindow.

JIMIs there some place you need a rideto? I’m going home. You’re morethan welcome to spend the night.

(beat)I mean, sleep on the couch.

(beat)You alright? Do you need somewheat grass or something? What’syour name?

(beat, using girl’s voice)My name’s Sally. Justkidding. Okay.

75.

INT. JIM WHEELER’S ATTIC ROOM - NIGHT

Jim and Wendy enter the room through a narrowstaircase. It’s a small room with bare furnishings, a couchagainst one wall with a sleeping bag on top of it, a smallTV sitting on top of milk crates, a duffel bag, boxes ofGood & Plenty, an empty bottle of Yoo-hoo.

Jim pulls the sleeping bag off the couch. He grabs ablanket and puts that on the couch, with a travel pillow.

Wendy lays down on the couch, facing toward thebackrest. Jim lays down on the sleeping bag, watching her.

Jim scoots toward Wendy and stretches his hand toward her,resting it softly on her shoulder.

WENDYWhat are you doing?

JIMI don’t know. Sorry.

Jim retracts his hand, continues watching her.

INT. JIM WHEELER’S ATTIC ROOM - DAY

The window is open. Jim is sleeping. Jim wakes up. Helooks around. Wendy is gone. He looks out open window. Hewalks up to window, looks on roof. He leaves room, runsdown stairs. He looks around the house. No one’s there.

INT. APARTMENT - EVENING

Edith Worthington’s apartment ceiling is covered with heliumballoons. The lights are dim. A group of about twentyseniors, friends of Edith, huddle with Jim in thekitchen. Some have party hats and party noisemakers.

JIMShe’s coming. Shhh.

The sound of keys is heard jiggling, the door opens. EdithWorthington walks inside. She turns on the lights. Thegroup floods out from the kitchen yelling ...

GROUPSuprise! Happy Birthday!

76.

EDITHAhhh. How did you know? Who didthis?

The crowd parts and Jim’s standing there, a big smile on hisface. She runs up to Jim, grabs his shoulder, kisses him onmouth.

INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT

The birthday party group sits around the apartment, eatingcake, talking, laughing, drinking wine, water, juice. Arecord is playing orchestra music. As the camera movesacross the room, we hear different conversations.

On one side of the room, a small crowd, including Jim, arewatching Edith dance a ballet piece. They’re clapping andencouraging her.

Jim wanders into the kitchen and eyes a bottle of wine. Thelabel date reads 1931. Jim pours some wine, drinks it,smiles. He tops off his cup, returning to the living roomto watch Edith dance.

As he drinks and watches Edith dance, he imagines Edith inher mid-twenties. The corner of his mouth turns into asmile, but his eyes seem distant, revealing an undertow ofsadness at the passing of time.

INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT

Most of the guests have left. Most of the balloons stillhug the ceiling. Some of the balloons are floatingmid-level. Two couples sit outside on the balcony,chatting. A large moon sits in the distance. The men aresmoking cigars.

Frank, a stocky fellow, lays on the couch, snoring. In hishand is the remote control for a TV that’s on a lowvolume. Two ladies sit inside the dining room, talking.

INT. APARTMENT, BEDROOM - NIGHT

An empty bottle of wine sits atop Edith’s bed. Edith issitting on the bed, holding a wine glass that’s halffull. Jim is walking around the room, making gestures withhis hands. Periodically, he grabs a nearby bottle of wineand drinks some.

77.

JIMSo I shake the gate to make surethey don’t have a dog. Nothinghappens. So I walk to the frontdoor. As soon as I’m at the door,I hear this growling sound and Ilook and see this big dog comingtoward me from the side of thehouse.

Jim drinks some wine. When he puts the bottle down, he seesEdith as younger looking.

JIM (cont’d)So I start running back toward thefence, which is a good dist -

EDITHWhy didn’t you go in the house?

JIMNo one answered the door. So I’mrunning toward the fence with allthis food in my hand and this dogis gaining on me. Then another dogcomes around from the other side ofthe house and I’m running towardthe gate but it’s closed. So Ijump and barely clear the fence,but the chicken wings fall to theground.

EDITHThe dogs ate the chicken.

JIMYes. Then the owner arrives homeand he’s like "I’m starved".

EDITHHe only cared about the pizza.

JIMExactly. I tell him he needs toleash his dogs and he’s like "I gota sign". Then he points to thissign behind a bush. You can’t evensee it. Ridiculous.

EDITHYou were almost dinner for thedogs.

78.

JIMYeah, tell me about it. But theguy didn’t care. And he’s like"Where’s the wings?" And I pointto the yard where the dogs areeating them.

Jim sits on the edge of the bed.

EDITHHave you ever been to Europe?

JIMNo.

EDITHYou’d like Germany. The people areso full of life.

JIMI’ve always wanted to go.

EDITHThen go.

Jim drinks some more wine, kicks off shoes.

JIMI will. This wine is reallygood. Where’d you get it?

Edith pulls a blanket toward herself, needing some comfort,some protection from the memories which Jim’s question hastriggeredd. Jim, too drunk to recognize her actions,persists.

JIM (cont’d)It looks really old. What year isis?

Jim moves closer to Edith. Edith takes a deep breath, as ifpreparing to go underwater to dredge up the memory.

EDITHDuring the war, my husband was sentto Germany. He was a medic. Wehad only been married for a year.

(beat)The day after our firstanniversary, he left. He didn’tcome back. After the war, Ireceived this crate, along with hisfinal letter.

79.

Edith walks to the closet. Jim follows her. She uses herfeet to pull out a dusty wine crate. They both crouchdown. He slides the top back, revealing dusty wine bottles.

JIMWow.

EDITHI never saw him again.

JIMI’m sorry.

Jim hugs Edith.

EDITHI remarried, but he doesn’t comearound much.

JIMIs that the guy in the picture.

Edith nods.

EDITHYou’re a nice young man. Do youhave a sweetheart?

JIMNo.

EDITHWhy not? You’re very nice. You’rehandsome.

JIMThanks. I think girls likeprofessional guys. I just deliverpizzas. They like achallenge. I’m sensitive. Theysee that as a weakness.

EDITHSensitivity is a gift.

JIMMore girls should be like you.

Edith leans in close to Jim.

EDITHAnd love -

Jim drinks some more wine, sees Edith younger.

80.

(cont)is the final frontier.

Edith leans in towards Jim. Jim closes his eyes.

INT. APARTMENT, BEDROOM - MORNING

A ceiling fan comes into view, spinning slowly above thebed. Boxer shorts hang on the blade. In the bed are Edith,one one side, and Jim behind her. Her shoulders arebare. So are his.

Jim opens his eyes, looks at his surroundings. He noticesEdith, asleep beside him. Slowly, he lifts the covers tolook at his body. He gasps.

INT. APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - MORNING

Frank, a party guest, is asleep on the couch. He’ssnoring. Jim, dressed in baggy pants and a wine-stainedshirt, his shoes untied, walks past a couch and knocks overa wine glass. It falls the floor, smashing loudly.

Frank wakes up, startled. He eyes Jim curiously. Then,Franks look turns to recognition. He smiles.

FRANKYou’re the pizza guy. You threwthe party.

JIMYeah.

FRANKDid you get lucky?

Jim manages a weak smile.

JIMI hope not.

Jim walks toward door.

FRANKMaybe she did.

JIMDon’t go there.

81.

INT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY

Jim walks inside the living room. Rick is sitting on couch,watching TV. Jim’s hair is sticking up everywhere.

RICKWhere were you last night?

JIMAt a party.

RICKThanks for inviting me.

JIMYou wouldn’t have liked it.

RICKYeah, right. What would you know?

JIMIt was at a nursing home.

(beat)Did a girl with short dark haircome by?

RICKNo. You got a girlfriend?

JIMNo. Just a friend. Are youspending the night tonight?

RICKNow you don’t want me to spend thenight because you got agirlfriend? I see how you are.

JIMRick, you spend the night everynight and -

RICKDon’t worry.

Rick stands, walks toward door.(cont)

I won’t be here. I’ll go home somy mom can call me retard allnight.

82.

JIMRick, you -

Rick leaves, slams door.

INT. PLANET PIZZA STORE, BACKROOM SINK - NIGHT

Jim is washing dishes. Pamela, the store manager, peeks herhead into the backroom.

PAMELASomeone’s here for you. A girl.

Jim dries his hands, heads toward the front.

PAMELA (cont’d)Your girlfriend, no?

Jim smiles.

PAMELA (cont’d)Tu tiene un novias, es bien,no? Ha, ha.

INT. PLANET PIZZA STORE - NIGHT

Wendy is sitting near the front door. Jim walks up.

JIMYou alright?

WENDYYeah.

JIMYou didn’t have to leave. I getoff in about fifteen minutes, ifyou wanna wait.

INT. PLANET PIZZA STORE - NIGHT

Pamela is in the office, punching numbers into acomputer. Jim sticks his head in the door.

JIMIs it cool if I leave?

PAMELAI see you work fast because of thegirl. Aaaaa.

83.

Jim smiles.(cont)

Wait for me. Two minutes.


Rick is sleeping on the couch. The front door opens. Wendyand Jim walk inside, close door. Wendy and Jim enter stairsto Jim’s upstairs room.

When they walk up stairs, Rick opens eye, leans up onshoulder, watches them.

INT. JIM WHEELER’S ROOM - NIGHT

Jim and Wendy enter Jim’s attic room. Wendy drops herbackpack and walks to the window leading to the roof.

JIMThere’s a bathroom downstairs

Wendy slides the window open.(cont)

if you want to use it.

Wendy crawls out the window onto the roof.

JIM (cont’d)Well, I’ll be back.

Jim opens the door and see’s Rick standing there, peeking inon them.

JIM (cont’d)Rick, what are you doing.

Jim leads Rick down the stairs to the living room.


Jim and Rick are in the living room.

RICKSo that’s why you didn’t want mehere, cuz you have a girlfriend.

JIMShe’s not my girlfriend. She’s afugitive. She needs a safe placeto stay.

84.

RICKWhat’d she do?

JIMShe’s the one who released theanimals.

RICKThe one they’ll give the $50,000reward for?

JIMDon’t even think about it. Just goback to bed and pretend you neversaw anything. If she knows thatother people know she’s here,she’ll leave.

RICKI have something to show you.

EXT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE, BACKYARD - NIGHT

Rick and Jim are standing at the area where Jim defacatedtwo nights ago. A bunch of flowers are growing.

JIMWow.

RICKI told you.

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT

Wendy is sitting on the roof, facing the backyard. She hasa sketchpad in her hand. She’s drawing a picture. There isa full moon.

Jim crawls onto roof. He has a two cups and a full bottleof wine in his hand. He sits beside Wendy, holds a cupout. She takes it. He pours the wine. He pours some forhimself. She drinks. He drinks. She continuesdrawing. She drinks more.

WENDYThis tastes good. Where’d you getit?

JIMA friend. It’s like 50 years old.

Wendy continues drawing. Jim watches the moon.

85.

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT

Wendy’s drawing is nearly completed. It’s a sketch of hervantage point, the moon, the backyard oak tree with branchessilohetting the moon. The bottle of wine is 1/4 full.

JIMSo, where do you live?

WENDYWherever.

JIMYou stay with friends? You justcamp?

WENDYYeah.

JIMYou don’t have a home?

WENDYWhat’s your point?

JIMI don’t know. Ha, ha.

Jim eyes the sketch.

JIM (cont’d)You could get paid for that. Youknow that, don’t you.

Jim finishes his wine.

JIM (cont’d)What’s your story? You’re ananimal rightsactivist. Check. You hitchhikearound. Check. Did you just oneday say, ’Hey, I’m gonna drop outand start setting animals free, or’... I’m just curious is all. I’mnot trying to invade -

Wendy looks straight at Jim.(cont)

your space.

WENDYWhy do you care?

86.

JIMI don’t know. I just do. It takescourage. I couldn’t do that.

(beat)I’ve been stuck here for the lastten years, chasing some invisiblepiece of cheese. I’ve left acouple of times. But I always gotsucked back. It’s like a giantmagnet that can only attract whatit doesn’t destroy.

WENDYWhat are you afraid of?

JIMI don’t know. I -

WENDYI used to live here.

JIMYou did?

Wendy finishes her wine, then gently lays the cup on theroof. The music starts growing louder. The camera pullsback.

WENDYTen years ago. I -

Wendy’s voice fades out. Music grows louder. The camerabacks up so we see the silohette of Wendy and Jim talkingand a full moon in the background.


Jim is crawling into window. He extends hand for Wendy tograb. She ignores his hand and pulls herself through.

JIMYou can sleep on the couch.

Jim unrolls sleeping bag on the floor, lays down. Wendyremoves the couch cushions and sets them next to Jim’ssleeping bag, then lays down with her back facing him.

Jim reaches his hand, turns off lamp. The moonlight iscutting through the window, falling onto them.

Wendy closes eyes. Slowly, Jim moves his hand toward hershoulder. Ever so slowly, he lays his hand onto hershoulder.

87.

WENDYWhat are you doing?

Jim quickly withdraws hand.

JIMSorry.

WENDYWhy are you touching me?

(beat)

JIMWhy do I breathe?

Slowly, Jim moves his hand toward her, gently resting it onher shoulder. Wendy gives the glimmer of a smile. Theyfall asleep.

INT. VAN - NIGHT

Across the street from Jim Wheeler’s house a van is parkedwith tinted windows. Two undercover cops sit inside.

COP 1Think we’ve got enough to make anarrest?

COP 2Not yet. We need to get her ontape.

EXT. SUBURB - DAY

Jim Wheeler drives by his former high school. On thebulletin board in large lettering is "Reunion - Class of95".

EXT. PET STORE - DAY

A few hundred people have gathered outside the pet store,trying to get inside. Police are keeping them orderly.

Natalie Gallager, standing in front, with a TV camera aimedat her, gives a live report.

NATALIEHundreds of people are here todayall for the same reason - to buy apet at Pet World. These aren’t any

(MORE)

88.

NATALIE (cont’d)ordinary pets. According to theowner, their refuse producesflowers. Pet World owner JayAnderson has been receiving offerson his pets from all over theworld, some people offering up to$8,000 for a puppy that has thisability.

EXT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE - NIGHT

An SUV with tinted windows sits across the street from Jim’shouse. Another SUV rolls toward the house, turning off itslights when a few hundred feet away.

The doors of the SUVs open. Four SWAT team members and thetwo FBI agents scurry toward the house.


Wendy opens her eyes, lifts Jim’s hand from her shoulder andsets it down on the couch cushion. She grabs her backpackand crawls out the window onto the rooftop. She throws herbackpack far into the backyard, then climbs down a nearbytree. She grabs her backback and crawls over the neighbor’sfence.


A SWAT team member, in full gear, holds his hand in the air,counting down with his fingers. Him and another team memberkick down the door and rush into the living room, flashlighton, guns drawn. Rick is sleeping, wakes up slowly to see amachine gun staring and flashlight staring him in the face.

Two team members search the house. One runs up stairs.


Jim wakes up, startled, looks around. Footsteps are heardrunning up stairs. He sees a handwritten note with apicture on it and grabs it. He crouches down, slides itunderneath a crack in the floorboard.

His door is kicked open and the SWAT team members movetoward him. He lifts his hands in the air. They pull hishands behind his back, handcuff him.

89.


Jim Wheeler and Rick, both handcuffed, are led outside bySWAT team members and the two FBI agents who put them intothe police car and drive away.

INT. BARE ROOM - NIGHT

Jim and Rick are being questioned in separate rooms by theFBI agents. The FBI agents are interupted by a supervisor,who leads them to the front room, where Uncle Loydd standswith two men in business suits, lawyers.

Jim and Rick are released. They leave with Uncle Loyd andthe lawyers


Jim Wheeler and Rick are talking to Uncle Loydd. JimWheeler gives Uncle Loydd the formula for floralfarts. They all shake hands. Uncle Loydd leaves. Rickgoes to bed on the living room couch. Jim puts his hand inthe floorboard crack and retrieves note from Wendy.

The note reads: Good Morning, Jim, Thanks for letting mecrash at your house. I can’t stay here. I will be in thewoods behind Home Depot for the next day or two. Wendy

EXT. WOODS - EVENING

Jim is searching around woods. He finds a small tent. Hecrouches down, looks in tent. Someone is approaching himfrom behind. He turns around. It’s Wendy. He hugsher. She stands there, arms to her side, then gives himlight hug. They leave in his car.


Jim, Sandra, and Wendy sit around the dining roomtable. Dobbs walks into dining room with a pan of steamingcasserole in his construction-gloved hands. He sets itdown.

JIMSo what’s the big announcement?

DOBBSLet’s eat dinner first.

Dobbs sits down.

90.

SANDRAWhy don’t you give the blessing,Jim.

JIMOkay. Dear God, Thanks for thisfood. Thanks for everything. Helpus to help others. In Jesus’ Name,Amen.

We see beneath the kitchen table as Dobbs foot slips out ofhis boot and his sock begins to play rub Sandra’sankle. Sanra passes around a bowl of vegetables and a bowlof mashed potatoes.

DOBBSNow for the good stuff.

Dobbs begins to serve steaming portions of casserole. Wendylooks at it curiously.

JIMWhat is this anyway? Smells likefish.

Sandra glares at Jim.

DOBBSIt ain’t fish.

JIMLooks like turkey.

Dobbs ladles a big spoonful for Wendy. She moves her plateaway.

DOBBSI can’t reach that far.

JIMI think that’s the point.

Wendy fills her plate with salad and vegetables.

DOBBSYou gotta have protein. That’s whyGod made animals.

Wendy continues eating in silence, ignoring Dobbs.

JIM(to Wendy)

Hey you, I’m -

91.

We see the animal heads, trophies of Dobb’s hunting trips,decorating the living room and dining room walls.

JIM (cont’d)(overlapping)

Leave her alone. Please.

DOBBSYou want some birdseed? Does thislook like a beak to you? Ha, ha,ha.

We see a closeup of Dobb’s moustache. A greasy piece ofmeat from the casserole he’s chewing falls into hismoustache, sits there.

JIMStop.

DOBBSCan’t she speak for herself.

SANDRADobbs. Someone who won’t respondto you isn’t worth talking toanyway.

DOBBSUm, hum. You got that right.

We see Dobbs and Sandra playing footsy. We see the animalhead trophies lining the wall. Jim slowly brings a forkfulof casserole to his mouth, closing his mouth over it,pulling it off the fork, chewing it slowly. He stopsmid-chew, look of concern on his face.

JIMWhat is this anyway?

DOBBSDeer stroganov.

We see Wendy’s face reveal a look of horror. We see quickclips from Disney’s movie "Bambi", the scene in which thefather deer says to his offspring, "You’r mother won’t becoming back". Those clips, that line, the animal trophiesof a deer head, the casserole are interspersed.

92.

INT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE, BATHROOM - NIGHT

Wendy backs up from the table and rushes to the bathroom,where she dry heaves in the sink. She splashes water on herface and, without looking, grabs a towel to dry herface. She doesn’t notice but when she removes the towel thetowel rack has been replaced by antlers.

She looks in the mirror. She sees a picture of Dobbs in thereflection, a picture of him smiling wide as he stands witha killed animal. She gets sink.


Sandra and Dobbs continue eating, unruffled by Wendy’sdeparture. Jim leans back in his chair to see if Wendy hasemerged from bathroom. Jim plays with his food.

JIMWhat’s for desert?

SANDRACake. You can wait. Where’d youmeet that girl?

JIMBy accident. So what’s the bigannouncement?

Dobbs and Sandra look at each other.

DOBBS(to Sandra)

Is now alright?

Sandra nods.

DOBBS (cont’d)Your mom and I are getting married.

Jim looks at both of them. Jim looks at animal heads on thewall. One of them is his mom’s head.

JIMWow. That is a suprise. Excuseme.

Jim stands, walks to bathroom.

JIM (cont’d)I’m gonna go see if she’s alright.

93.

Jim walks to bathroom, knocks on door lightly. The door isunlocked, then opens. Jim stands outside.

JIM (cont’d)You alright? Can I come in?

WENDYNo. Yes.

INT. JIM WHEELER’S HOUSE, BATHROOM - NIGHT

Jim walks into bathroom. Wendy is sitting on closed toilet,wiping off her face with towel. Jim leans head over sink,splashes water on face.

JIMI don’t know where you’re going,but I need you to help me get outof here.

INT. PLANET PIZZA - NIGHT

Jim rushes into the store with pizza bags under his arm. Hetosses the bags underneath the counter, and eyes the pizzascoming out of the oven.

Phones are ringing. Palm Martinez, the manager, is on thephone taking an order.

PAMJim. Get the pizzas.

He slides the spatula beneath the pizzas and moves them tothe table, sliding them into pizza boxes, cutting them, thenclosing the box.

PAM (cont’d)You need to take that big order.

Jim looks at the sticker on the pizza boxes. Itreads: Ambers. H.S. Jim jogs over to Pam. Pam is on thephone.

JIMI can’t take that order. I needatake the first three. They’regoing downtown. Let Vinnie takethat.

94.

PAMNo Jim. You have to. It’slate. Vinnie’s car broke down.

JIMI’m not taking it.

PAMWhy not? You get good tip. Youhave to take. You take! Or quit!


Jim is driving down a lonely street. He opens the glove boxand extracts the rubber "old man" mask that he got for hisbirthday, placing it on the seat beside man.

Outside, it is raining. Jim rolls up the windows. Thepizzas, piled in the backseat, steam up the windows.

EXT. LONELY STREET - NIGHT

Jim’s car is driving down street. Windows are fogged fromthe pizza steam. Jim rubs the window so he can seeout. The rain descends in heavy sheets.


We see the car’s instrument panel. The needle on thetemperature guage rises above the mid-level mark, movingslowly toward the red area that indicates overheating.

The car sputters. We see Jim’s hand hit the dashboard.

JIM (O.S.)C’mon! Go! Go!

The car sputters and steam erupts from the hood area. Theengine shakes loudly and the car conks out. Jim steers thecar to the side of the road. He parks the car.

He dials his cell phone and is given a "cannotconnect". Jim looks at the mask, slips it on, looks in themirror.

JIM(using older voice)

Here’s your pizza pies. That’ll be$152 dollars even.

Jim slides the mask off.

95.

JIM (cont’d)What are you doing? What are youafraid of?

Jim pulls the lever to pop the hood on his car. He slips ona raincoat, puts the mask in his pocket, and exits thecar. He lifts hood, looks at engine. It’s steaming.

EXT. LONELY STREET - NIGHT

Jim is standing in the rain, looking at engine. Headlightsshine towards him. Jim looks up, sees a white stretchapproach.

JIMNo way.

Jim turns, slides on the mask, pulls hat low. The limostops behind his car. Jim reaches into his car, opensglovebox, pulls out a bottle of Floral Farts, drinks some,slides bottle into pocket. Jim exits car, walks towardlimo.

The window slides down. A group of thirty-something’s,couples, sit in the back, talking, laughing.

CHADYou’re going to the school?


Yeah. My car broke down.

CHADHop in.


How about I give you thepizzas? You taken ’em there.

CHADWe don’t have the money. You needaget tipped. Load the pizzas.

INT. LIMO - NIGHT

Four guys and four girls are sitting in the limo. They aredressed in suits. They have an open bottle of wine, pasingit around with paper cups. A joint is being passed.

96.

Jim gets into the limo. 80’s music is blaringloudly. Everyone inside is laughing and talking loudly.

CHADYou burn?

JIMI burn rubber.

RODNEYNo man, pot. You get high? Youpuff?

JIMNo thanks.

Jim takes a seat. The crowd of revelers eye himcuriously. Some whisper among themselves. The sound ofJim’s heartbeat competes with the sound of the music untilboth sounds become a surreal-sounding blur.

CHADYou want a drink?

JIMSure.

A woman and her husband, eye him suspiciously. They whisperto each other.

ALLISONWhat’s with his face?

ALEXLooks like a mask.

ALLISONI know.

ALEXThat’s creepy. Maybe he had anaccident.

Allison nods.

RODNEYRemember that guy Lance Sweek. Weused to call him Lance Geek. Hewas always into computers and shit.

ALLISONI don’t remember -

97.

ALEX(overlapping)

Is that the guy who was moved up 4grades? He was -

RODNEY(overlapping)

Yeah, yeah. He had these realhairy arms. They were like thehairiest arms I’ve ever seen! Ha,ha, ha.

ALLISONOh yeah, now I remember him. That’sfunny.

RODNEYI wonder if he’s gonna be theretonight. He was really in 9nthgrade but he pretty much graduatedwith us.

ALLISONHe’s probably a billionaire orsomething. Probably invented hisown computer.

RODNEYYeah right. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Letme see that joint, man.

Rodney takes the joint and takes a long drag.

INT. LIMO - NIGHT

The conversation becomes a blur of noise, laughter,music. We see the scene from Jim’s point of view, frombehind the mask, as he surveys his former classmates andwitnesses their conversation.

ALEXWhatever happened to that guy JimWheeler?

Jim’s eyes widen behind the mask.

VANESSAThat guy was weird. He always hungaround the ninth graders at lunch.

98.

ALEXThat’s embarassing.

DANNYI heard he’s still living here.

VANESSAThat would suck.

DANNYI think he was just shy. I’dalways see him in thelibrary. He’s probably a writer orsomething.

(to Vanessa)Hey did you ever do anything withyour writing?

VANESSAWell, it took a few years but Ifinally found a publisher. And,uh, I’m editing my second book.

DANNYThat’s awesome. What’s it about?

ALLISONDo you smell something? It smellslike pouporri. You smell that?

ALEXYou’re high. Ha, ha, ha.

EXT. AMBERSVILLE HIGH SCHOOL - NIGHT

Outside, the rain has turned to a light sprinkle as the limoslows to a stop outside the high school gymnatorium. Theformer classmates exit the limo, along with Jim, who pullsout the pizzas from the trunk.

INT. AMBERSVILLE GYMNATORIUM - NIGHT

Closeup on punch bowls. A hand is seen pouring a vial ofwhite powder into each one, then stirring the punch.

99.

INT. AMBERSVILLE GYMNATORIUM - NIGHT

The gymnatorium is decorated with streamers, balloons, and alarge banner that reads: WELCOME CLASS OF ’89 - REUNION.

A crowd of peoeple are near the dance floor and circulatingbeside a table with food, containers of ice and drinks, andseveral large bowls of punch.

Jim wander toward the buffet table and sets the pizzasdown. Reunion attendees swarm the pizza.

Chad, from the limo, pats Jim on the back. Jim turns.

CHADThe person who pays you is overthere, in the purple dress. Hername’s Jill.

JIMThanks.

(using older voice, coughs)Thanks.

Jim serves himself some punch, downs it. Then, he gets somemore and approaches Jill.

CUT TO:

Bryce and Natalie Gallager enter the gymnatorium. Theywrite their name on a sticker, place it onthemselves. Natalie appears to be upset about something,but attempting to hide it.

CUT TO:

The deejay lays a record down on the turntable. The musicstarts, a catchy 80’s tune. The crowd sits at the edge ofthe dance floor. No one wants to be the first person todance.

CUT TO:

Jim finishes his second cup of punch, and smiles as helistens to the music. He starts swaying to it, then grabs athird cup of punch, and starts drinking it.

Jim strides out to the dance floor. He does amoonwalk. Then he starts breakdancing. He stands up and isdancing around. The crowd goes wild. Everyone startsdancing.

100.

As Jim continues dancing, his mask starts to comeapart. The nose falls off and is crushed by a heel on thedance floor. People around him start to notice, and moveaway from him, leaving him to dance by himself.

His mask is coming apart. There’s a wide empty spot aroundhim as people watch his mask fall off his face.

The deejay notices. The music stops.

JIM (cont’d)Hey! What happened to the music?

Everyone’s staring at Jim. Jim notices his nose on theground. He touches his face.

Jim looks at the crowd. They are watching him.

(beat)

WENDY (V.O.)What are you afraid of?

(beat)

JIMI was embarassed to come here,tonight. Now look at me.

(beat)I was embarassed because I haven’treally done much with my life inthe fifteen years since Igraduated.I still live at home. I don’t havea girlfriend. I drive a junkercar. And I deliver pizzas for aliving.

(beat)But you know what?

(beat)I’m good at it.

A few people start clapping.

JIM (cont’d)See? They like pizza.

A few people laugh. More people start clapping.

ALEXBreakdance!

101.

JIM(to deejay)

Hey deejay! Got any Duran Duran?

More clapping and yelling. Deejay plays Duran Duran. Jimstarts breakdancing. The crowd comes out to dance again.

CUT TO:

Bryce and Natalie are watching. Natalie’s clapping,smiling. Bryce looks angry.

NATALIEHe’s right there. Let’s ask him.

BRYCEHe’s obviously a nutcase. I don’tsee what you’re -

NATALIEThen you have nothing to hide,then.

EXT. AMBERSVILLE HIGH SCHOOL YARD, NEAR POND - NIGHT

Natalie, Bryce, and Jim are walking beside the pond.

JIMSo go ahead. Ask me.

NATALIEYou mentioned that you met a doctoron the roof of the hospital, andthat he was smoking.

JIMYeah.

NATALIEIs this the person you saw?

JIMYeah.

BRYCESee. Nothing to it. I told you.

NATALIEWhat was he doing up there?

(beat)Tell me.

102.

BRYCEHe told you I was smoking. Let’sgo back inside.

(begins to whisper)This guy’s obviously on drugs.

NATALIEWhat was he doing up there? Tellme.

(beat)

JIMHaving sex with some nurse.

Bryce decks Jim. Jim falls back into the pond, his headlanding in the water. Bryce jumps on top of Jim and puncheshim hard in the face. Natalie jumps on top of Bryce,pulling him off, then storming away. Bryce get up, runsafter Natalie.

BRYCEYou’re gonna believe some spacedout pizza guy over me?

EXT. AMBERSVILLE HIGH SCHOOL YARD, POND - NIGHT

Jim leans over the pond, splashing water into his bloodiedface. Nearby, a turtle breaks the surface of the water. Henotices a burn mark on the turtle’s back.

Jim leans in closer to look at the turtle.

JIMMorp? Is that you?

The turtle goes underwater. Jim jumps in the pond, swimsafter it.

INT. AMBERSVILLE HOSPITAL, STAFF ROOM - NIGHT

Two nurses, one male and one female, and Dr. Bryce arechatting. Jim stands at the door. He has a black eye, aswollen lip, and bruised chin. They quit chatting and lookat him.

BRYCECall security.

JIMThat’s not necessary.

103.

Jim hands Bryce an 8.5 x 11 manilla envelope. Bryce backsaway from it. On the cover is written: How to win herback.

BRYCEWhat is it? A bomb?

JIMNo.

Jim sets package on table.

INT. AMBERSVILLE NURSING HOME, FRONT DESK - EVENING

Jim’s standing at front desk. The receptionist finishes herphone conversation.

JIMI’m here to see Edith Worthington.

RECEPTIONISTYou didn’t hear?

JIMHear what?

RECEPTIONISTI’m so sorry. Edith passed away inher sleep last night. Herfuneral’s tomorrow evening.

EXT. CEMETARY - EVENING

A crowd of people mill about a cemetary grounds. A tablewith pictures of Edith, a guestbook, and a record playerplaying ballet music.

A group of about fifty friends talk amongst themselves. Jimis sitting at a chair beneath a tree, swaying his head tothe music.

RICK (O.S.)Hey Jim! What are you doing here?

Jim looks up and see’s Rick walking toward him, with aplateful of snacks.

(cont)You should try some of thecake. It’s really good.

104.

JIMDid you know Edith?

RICKIs that the person who died?

JIMWhy are you here?

RICK(with food in mouth)

I’m here to pay my respects. ToEdith.

Jim shakes his head.

A man in a business suit with sunglasses approachesJim. He’s carrying a briefcase. His name is Greg Anderson.

GREGAre you Jim? Jim Wheeler?

JIMYes.

GREGCan I talk to you for a moment, inprivate.

JIMAm I in trouble?

GREGNo, not at all.

Jim stands up and walks away with Greg. Rick watches themas they chat. Greg hands Jim a manilla envelope. Jim opensit, slides out some papers. Jim and Greg talk. They shakehands. Greg leaves. Jim brings envelope to car, puts it incar. Jim returns to spot near Rick.

RICKWhat did he want?

JIMSome legal stuff.

105.

INT. JIM’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Rick’s hands reach under Jim’s mattress. He pulls outmanilla envelope, opens it, slides out paper. He bring ittoward the light. The papers read:

WARRANTY DEED10 ACRES WITH HOUSE - PORTLAND,MAINE

DEEDED TO: JIM WHEELER

EXT. JIM WHEELER’S FRONT YARD - EARLY MORNING

A montage of scenes - Jim packing his clothes and puttingthem into car. Jim checking fluid levels. Jim drivingaway.

EXT. TRUCK STOP - NIGHT

Jim is exiting a truck stop store, carrying a bag ofCheeto’s and a Yoo-hoo.

He sees a petite girl sitting at the curb, wearing a hoodedsweatshirt with a well-worn backpack beside her.

JIMHey.

The girl turns to look at him. It’s Wendy LaShane.

JIM (cont’d)Ever been to Maine?

She smiles. He extends his hand.

INT. LUXURY HOUSE - NIGHT

Natalie opens the door. Bryce is standing outside.

BRYCECan I come in? Please?

Natalie leaves the door open, walks back inside.

Bryce walks in carrying a gift bag. He walks toward CDplayer and slips in a CD of Duran Duran "Save aprayer". Then, he hands the gift bag to Natalie.

106.

BRYCE (cont’d)Natlie. I’m sorry. Please forgiveme.

EXT. OLD 2-STORY HOUSE, FRONT YARD - EVENING

Jim Wheeler and Natalie LaShane approach an older 2-storyhouse. Even though it is rundown, the house is woodframeand beautiful.

As they approach the house, they notice someone sleeping onthe front porch, with boxes piled beside him. The personwakes up and rolls over. It’s Rick.

RICKWhat took you guys so long?

EXT. OLD 2-STORY HOUSE, BACK YARD - EVENING

Rick leads Wendy and Jim to the backyard, where they seeflowers growing everywhere.

RICKI think he’s in the shed.

INT. SHED - EVENING

We see from the view of Uncle Loydd as he peeks from a crackin the wood, watching Wendy, Jim, and Rick approach. Theyknock on the door. Uncle Loydd opens the door, whisks theminside and shuts it quickly.

UNCLE LOYDDJim, Wendy, Rick, did anyone followyou here?

JIMNo.

WENDYHow do you know my name?

UNCLE LOYDDIt’s not yo business, it’s showbusiness.

(to Jim)I’ve got big plans for you, myfriend. Big plans.

107.

JIMHow did the yard get all -

UNCLE LOYDDIt’s your formula, Jim. Itworks. We’re gonna change theworld.

JIMCool.

the last pizza delivery driver on earth final script1

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