the iron warrior magazine: volume 3, issue 3

7/22/2019 The Iron Warrior Magazine: Volume 3, Issue 3

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The Special Processed and repackaged Sanity ssue


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COMING SOONNOVEMBER 17th TO NOVEMBER 24th

EIGHT SHOWS

PRINCESS CINEMAPRINCESS STREET WEST WATERLOO 885-2950


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Gordon BurrillBishop James FoilisTweedledumMario BellabarbaDr. William :wmooPaul McKonePhreedahJason WoodIan McCluskeyMike PossrnayerDave Best

The Iwn W4rcjar is 3 forum forthougilt provoking iWd loronoauve .l'IIcles pre;ented by Ule atademac o m m ~ n i r y of be Unlv.rst.y of W.,moo. View, exprcs'


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Student Rally, a.k.a. What Do YouMean You Don't ave n Arm Band?

II uman Resources MinisterLloyd xworthy suggeststhat Ottawa replace direct

Federal funding t theUniversities.

Scott umviJIeIntrepid ReporterIW Staff

Eidely acknowledged, that one of the keys toth greater social justiceand improved productivityand competitiveness is thedevelopment of our humanresources. This involves ourinvestment in the knowledge, creativity, skills andmotivation of individuals - acritical input without whichour technological and economic progresswill founder.

- The standing committeeon Human Resources Development Interim Report 1994.

Brave words. Unfortunately, that is all they are.111e report quoted above discusses the phasing out ofcash transfers for post secondary education to theprovinces. For those who have missed the details of theensuing drama, I'll do the best that I can to sum themup. Human Resources Minister Uoyd Axworthy produced a social-security review which suggests thatOttawa replace direct funding through the provinceswith better loans and bursaries to students. TI1ese loansare tentatively to match the graduates' ability to repay,depending on income. Howeve r, in specifics they arevague and omit crucial details.

The government of Ontario currently contributes73.1% of the cost of post secondary education with theremaining 21.4% obtained from tuition fees. his 73.1%is shared between the federal and provincial governments. Axworthy suggests cutting the federal donations, representing a 30% reduction in provincial transfers. his leaves the universities with very few choices:111ey can cut non big ticket programs such as dance,reduce research spending, or double tuition fees. Theplan is to raise tuition fees from their current value of

37.3 million to 74.6 million by 1996/97. Soundsdecadent doesn't it?

The other day in class one of my professorbrief calculation. He estimated that each lecturesented $6 from tuition from each student Whenplied by the seventy students in my class thisthat a single one hour lecture represents 420 wtuition. This seems rather exorbitant. However ture does not include the portion of tuition donathe federal and provincial governments. his amthe cost of a single lecture to over 200J. This mthen spent on research and operating expensesrently research enjoys a considerable budget pThere is some fear that the government may decisome of the money currently allocated to reseadevoted instead to teaching in an effort to fexpand enrolment. TI1e official response of the sity is to cite the fact tha t more than 100 companitheir origins in the university. A strong ec

IIIncrasing debt loads wbecome a barrier t thefinancially unstable.

depends not just on sound undergraduate edubut also on high-quality graduate educatioresearch.

On October 28 the Federation of Studentsrally against the proposed Social Reform Policy.official capacity as intrepid reporter I woke brigearly and joumied to the meeting place. I hadmit, I had visions of old Sixties demonstratmind. No matter how hard I try to avoid my pinfluence, it's still there. Sometimes I think thimpossible to truly come out of their shadow amy own life. It's bad enough that the sixties werure - why try to relive them?

So I arrived at the Campus Centre expectincrowds of people. I was hyped for somethisomething wild. t wasn't quite what I had exThe Campus Centre was nearly empty. I'm notobad at remembering times (names, faces, birthdaalmost everything else), so I was upset at missinnot extremely surprised. TI1en somebody cameasked me if I was there for the rally. I said yestold me that they would be leaving shortly. Laround in vain, I could n ot see any crowds. I waaround outside looking for anybody. 111e Iron Wis a lnagazine and thus does not reguIarily carrystories. his was my big chance to be a pro. going to get opinions, ask people why they were

. In total there were approximately twenty-fivethere. B etween the Iron Warrior the Imprint aFederation of Students entourages it seeme d poto interview the few who willingly showed up.

The reason I was there wasn't just because tuexpected to double, provided that education


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The Sandford Fleming Foundation4306 Carl Pollock Hall, University of WaterlooWaterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G 1Waterloo Campus Activities(519) 888-4008

rzft Sandfort :Ffeming :Foundation ispfeasetf to announce theWinners oj he 1994 rJ eacliing .9tssistantsfiip T.Jcce[{ence .9lwartfs:Duane BakerChemical EngineeringRafik GuindiE C Engineering

Dina VitoCivil EngineeringJanice CheungManagement ScienceA.J. Baxteron OguamanamMechanical Engineering Systems Design Engineering

Phillip ChoiFirst Year Engineering

to 6e presented at the 18tli 5'Lnnua[(Engineering .9lwartfs 'Dinner lJWvem6er 7 1994.Funding for this award comes from engineering student contributions and depends on them for continuation.

made available to those who would be unable to affordit. The current student loan system is unacceptable. Inmy own situation, neither of my parents are wellenough off or willing to part with what little excess theyreceive. Yet I have twice been turned down by OSAP. Irealize that the government spent too much money onour parents' generation and must now save theirmoney so that they can pay our parents' pensions, however this seems a self-defeating way of doing it. I amextremely oitical of the new loan pkm. My own opinion is that the government should reconsider the billions of dollars that they donate to big business and corporations for research.

We travelled aboard a yellow school bus to outsidethe office of the Member of Parliament for Waterloo,Andrew Telegdi. The President and Vice-President(University Affairs) of the Federation of Students,Stephen Codrington and Julie Cole, delivered speeches.We were then joined by a member of Andrew Telegdi'soffice who told us that regrettably Andrew Telegdi wasw1able to join us at this time, but that he was a graduateof the University of Waterloo and therefore completelyunderstood us.

. Following the speeches, we marched around in a

circle chanting thingslike Don't Drop theAxe , and Hi Ho,Axworthy's Gotta Go .The media turned outin full force. I thinkthere may have beenalmost as many mediapeople there as protesters. I was still astounded tl1at only 25 peoplehad showed up. Ibelieve the Universityboasts a full timeenrollQ1ent of 12 000students. We thus represented approximately 0.2% of the studentpopulation. Luckilythe media didn't let usdown with their rendition of the truth. Withcarefully chosen film

clips and broad generalization it looked like we actuaUwere a large protest. Thank God for the n w .

o what conclusions can I draw from that? At firstglance it seems that people just don't care about the proposed changes, or maybe tl1ey even agree with them.I've never met anybody who would willingly pay more

..revolution, if anyoneshows up.

money, so that afternoon I questioned several of myclassl11ates. I got mcmy varied responses. Pl'Opl didn'twant to miss a class (the whole protest took about anhour). One person even claimed tllat it was incomctlyannounced in my class. (Rather than one of the clas..sreps announce it, they circulated a pamphlet askingpeople to sign up. The sheet was covered with signatures including his. Oh well.) I think what was unsaidwas that people just couldn't be bothered. I always con-

sidered myself ratl1er apathetic , but this was impressive.This is a subject which concenlS us all. r ~ r t Y

global eInployment opportunities will requireand higher levels of education. A Bachelor's degree isno longer a key to the door of succes - further educationis rapidly becoming the nonn for those who wish tosucceed. Consider your children and yourchildren. If uition continues to soar from either provincial or federal actions, the ever-increasing debtassociated with post secondary education will become abarrier to tl1e financially wlStable. This will result inc ass society. As history has shown us, c assdo not work They inevitably end up in revolution,anybody shows up .

For those who are interested in furtherthis matter, aVeI1ues are still available. On r ~ l l v . . , r T l n f r10 at 7pm Andrew Telegdi and Jo1m English willin a Campus Forum in EL 101 to discuss theand answer questions. It is imperative that aspeopleas possible attend tl1.is. A post card withby Jack Lefcourt will also be distributed. Fill it outmail it. To soW \d cheezy, together we can mc1ke afCfCl1l '.

Part time Ca1npus RecreatiotlJobs Available for tile

Winter /95 Spring '95 icnnsWilltl'r 1995 Jobs:Studt'nt l r o ~ r a m Coorciln,llors lor' A q u , l h ( ~ Tllurn,ltnl'nh P / ~ It rlgl lP l O nV ( lh l rS

Spring 1995 o b ~Stlld lIt I'mgr.lln C o ( ) r d i l 1 a t o l ~ {ttl Aquilti( s hrn(ss In;1 ruel Ollal Ol l vel1or.; Rl'len'l'5 PromotlOlIs/ I'ublil ilyConvenors for Competitive LNgul'S, Skating, Rat'ljudrf('oms Squash), ,Ind CPRRcferee -inChlCf or all competitive leagues.For job descriptions, salaries, to apply go to PAC 2039

Application deadline: Friday, November 18


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Ufe goe-; on for many people: a life where schooland beer are the centre of everything and everyhing re-volves around them. Unaffected, theycontinue struggling for those hard-to-get marks thatone day will bring them three minutes of fame. Livingin their closed box, they have ignored or forgotten thelives of millions and millions of people who struggleeveryday in different ways: struggle to survive, struggle for their human rights, struggle to feed their children, struggle the cold of a hard winter while bullets areCTOS c;ing the weak bones of their infants. Or simply, adisease that has been eradicated from our society a longago, but they don't have the resources to fight it.Did you know that 15 000 people starve to deathevery day? Did you that AIDS could be the numberone killer of our society a few years from now? Did youknow that Liberation Theology has changed the imageand life of the church in Third World countries? Didyou know that in some countries 98 of their childrenhave never drunk milk, while 60 of their populationare considered alcoholics? Did you kno w that twothirds of the human family go to sleep hungry eachnight, and many of them do not even have beds? Didyou know that 20 of the world controls 80% of theworld's resources? And my personal favourite, Whatdo you think of the situation in Bosnia?When was the last time you opened a newspaper notonly to see the SWlShine boy/girl? When was the lasttimeyou watched the news?BeHeve or not, every fortune or misfortune thatoccurs in the world affects us directly or indirectly. Sowhy does anyone want to stay in the shadow whenthere is a sw,\ full of know edge out there?

Infom1ation is wealth. Not only financial b\lt emotional and psychological. Infom1ation makes mindsmore aware of their surrow1dings. To be aware is just

W ile I have \x.-cn able to sit back fora while and listen to what p oplehave been saying about that ageold tradition, Frosh We k, and, morerecently, the Engineering Educationommlttee (ED OM), I've justseen enough.

An f1rticle by Henry Murchlandin the last Iron Warrior ha caused meto do a little research and write somethingabout this. In hls defense of EDCOM, Henryattempt to show the need for this group ofsel ct d engineering stud ents whose job it is tointitnidate, insult, and make demands of first year students.In theory, Henry's respectecl group of responsibleindividuals could be used to promote team work anda sense of community among mo t of the frosh, who

have, for the most part, just left the security of theirhomes for the first time. However, it must be admittedthat tlie group just doesn't live up to its potential. Themain problem that comes up ahnost every year is thatsome members of EDCOM don't know what their realpurpose is and think their main job is to get so drunkthat they can no longer distinguish between fun and

nthe beginning of a richer and clearer tate of mind.Once the mind is resolved of ll its uncertainties due toignorance, it is up to you to decide whether you want tocontribute to a world of justice and peace, or to lie in theshadow of a daily routine.

Do you know why we have been sending troops toSon1alia and Rwanda? Did you know that you are paying for it? But call me an idealistic, call me a drromer.While ignorance of our political situation does not vanish from our reality, hUl11cmity will continue its path ofdestruction guided by greed and selfishness. To beaware is to be a seer. To see is to tak the right path to

t is up t you t decidewhether you w nt t

contribute t a world ofjustice and peace, or t lie in

the sh dow of a d ilyroutine.

our goaLBut the big question is: where do we start? Howabout reading? Now, when 1say read don't forget todistinguish the facts from the media propagandfl, andto draw your own conclusions.You can start at home. Take a break from your dailyroutine and grab a newspaper or tunl on the T.V. setharrassment. n the past, members of EDCOM haveu d their po ition to make sexual advances on

frosh, i n blatant violation of university policies(remember we are talking about an enonnous

amount of influence). This year thing gotfl little out of control when a group ofEDCOM took a stroll through vil

lage. In my own Orientation, I sawan incredibly drunk member of

EDCOM pick a fight with a fro h whoapparently was talking to the wrong girl.Whil there has been some improvement in

the past few years with regard to the attitudes ofEDCOM, itmu t be realized that the whole concept ofa mostly male group of large and intimidating people,whose commands must be obeyed by frosh (enforced.by penalty of ridicule) is a fonnula for abuse. It wouldtake a very confident and mentally tough person toproperly control this group and I've never seen it donewithout incident. One of the people who came closewould later tell me that the group WflS uncontrollable.1 still can't believe nobody got arrested. or sent to thehospital I can't help thinking that EDCOM should betaken out of Frosh Week before something really badhappens:'Henry's article fails to prove the need for EDCOM.

and watch the new Raise a discussion aboutthat interests you (like the situation in So nia mwith your friends. Listen to the various idepoints of view that each bring to this min.i-fonunWe are v ry fortunate. Here at Waterloo, wJX'Ople from ail around the world who can enrilife with stories from the Mother Land. Showwhat we've got. Show them how interesting we

Furthennore, our school provides .us with a sgroups and clubs that you can join. Many ogroups try to make our world a better one by ining you to new knowledge. Now you can staAn independent thinker and draw your own indconclusions and perl1aPS apply them to improvquality of life worldwide. As much as we inother societics, other societies influence us.We can also get speakers from every comeworld. They have to come to let us know what tuations are and how this can affect us. Listen tTalk to them. Get infonned. To be politicizedhlUTh'll1.

A few students on campus have taken the initorganize a crunpaign in order to increase worldness. This campaign is being sponsored by the tion of Students, which considers this programv ry positive. We are the leaders of tomorrow;ter infonned we are, the better leaders we will beThis is a job that will take a lot of work. n tfew weeks, you will start to see posters all arounpus. But, we need you, your ideas and artworkhave artwork that can be considered to be poshocking, bring it to us. Please submit it to theAwarene s Campaign at the Federation of Soffice in the Campus Centre.

Come along and join us in the fight for the conzation of our students. We all can make a diffemake this world of us a better one.

The premise that the fresh are trying to sing anthelr way through engineering is weak at beunderlying message of Fro h Week and EOCOMthe student must work together toward a cogoal and so EDCOM might represent the hathey will have to overcome. Saying that the smay choose not to enter the mud pit is somewhto attending an Oktoberfest event with 700 friencl'\oosing whether Of not to drink (except in ththere would be ten big guys surrounding you aing to help you decidel). lf there is uch objectiomud pit from the administration, perhap the tcome to start 8 new tradition. Just as the greasedQueen's isn't surrounded by the same stuff thatto be (to put it nicely), the mud pit wa probablative addition to our fresh week some years agohaps 8 compromise would be to include EDCOthe mud pit on the first day of the week to helpErosh to work together, but use the rest of the wbuild a little confidence and perhaps promotresponsibility and other characteristics that will hstudents urvive in their new world. Maybedoesn't have to be so negative.Jsson Wood8 hemlcsl


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The Very Firstoop Duckant s E ~ r

WIlliam AlcottEelebratiOn of the upcoming tenth cpL'lOCIe of oop Du k, I annman the 'oopDuck tenth anniversary contestI Just answer the following trivi, questions, and youuld win an autographed picture of Mario the Maggot Boy, or on of tn.;'lny, manymore fabulous prizes.1. How many times has th actual Coop Duck appeared in th cartoon?2. What portion of the title changes every issue?3. Why does Coop duck never look the same twice? .4. Who was Enrico Fermi's powerful and influ ntial friend?5. What isa limpet?6. What was the headlineon the cov er of the Imprint?7. What was PC Factory selling off cheap on the back of the Imprint?8. During what hours can human sacrifices be made at NHI101?9. In the plot for Night of the living Jeffy", how did Jeffy get killed?10. What did. the other kids do with Jeffy's body?Entries may be submitted in person, or e maiJed to wja1cottmechanlcal. Contest

closes at a yet to be determined arbitrary date. Prizes have no cash value.


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4NOT FORGOTTENDarrell O DonnellVice-President ExternalUniversity of Waterloo Engineering Society A

aecember 6, 1989 - A day that people all over theorld should never forget. Fourt een women inthe prime of their lives were gunned down atYEoole Polytechnique in Montreal. Not one of the victims was chosen by her murderer for something thatshe did other than to be a woman who aspired to be anengineer.

Take a moment now and on December 6 to thinkabout the 14 women who were never able to realizetheir life s ambitions. Think of what this tragedy meansto you and think about how it has affected the family,

and colleagues of these women:What can we as students at the University of Water

do to honour the memory of these 14 women? Howwe mourn the loss of poole whom most of us never

Every one of those 14names obviouslymeans a greatto the friends and family of the women who died

December 6, 1989. The family and friends of theseurn.,...,... have been through many sleepless nights, andthe memories of their loved ones are still crystal clear inthen- minds. What they lost can never be replaced.

Unfortunately, in recent years, December 6 hash


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Stargateow Playing atTheatre near

youAndrew KrywaniukAssault and BatteryEou,r looking for a good film next Tue dayevening ilnd you don' t mind standing in line theno t e targate. This much heralded new ifiadventure has it all: action, n at new ideas, and someslick visual dfects. f you have n previews youprobabl l think that Stargat is a movie aboultime/spa travel, but it is really about neilher; it isabout a POltal to tile lUiknown


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They re Out to et ou~ stared blankly at the screen as the numbersscrolled across. od it was going to be great to bedone. Every pore of his body ached for sleep. Hetoyed with the notion of pouring himself another coffee,his stomach lurched at the thought. He settled him

back in his chair and glanced at his watch. It was 5Wistfully he smiled to himself. When he had staJtresearch for his Master's thesis, he had promisedhimself that he woul finish evetything early. Hebe dome his research and testing in plenty

time to submjt for the Christmas deadline. Butknow things come up, and now he had two>IV to finish and summarize his findings in

pretty tables and graphs. With the titles onthe bottom for graphs and top for tables.Finally the numbers ground to ahalt. He stood up, winced as his joints

1 ~ l p o p p e d back into place, and walked over to

coa bank of equipment. He disconnected thespectrophotometerwhich was connected toa large plexiglass basin. From within thebasin he withdrew a glass test tube. He

I

Q)c

the grayish liquid inside and set itthe sink for later scrubbing. Who wouldve thought that a chunk of rat brain couldthat much work?Nervously Tom scanned the num-bers listed on the computer screen. Thefindings corroborated what he had suspected. It was so unlikely that he hadn t wantedto believe it. He had tried these experiments

without test subjects, but the results hadseemed so bizarre that he needed confirmation. And now he had it. Basically it meantthat coffee affected the seritona levels inyour brain. Seritona is the chemical thatrelays information between both halves of thebrain. As the levels of seritona drop, the halvesof the brain segregated. This eventually led olhe repression of the lefL, commonly referred to asthe artistic, side of the brain. If this didn t gethim a Masler's, nothing would."What do you mean thaL my results maybe invalid?", questioned Tom, 1 double-checkedthem I triple checked them "His faculty adviser, Dr. VanRicht, pursedhis lips and clasped his hands deep inthought. "These results are very typical

thousands of times "If it will satisfy you, then Dr. VanRicht, Ishall. For now, goodday." Tom heatedly said ashe angrily left the room.Dr. VanRicht shut his eyes and countedto twenty. When he was done he stood up and

locked his office door. Returning to his desk, hedialed a phone number from memory, spokebriefly, responding curtly to a series of questions,and hung up .

Tom woke up in a small dark room. Hewas lying on a hard metal cot. In the comer wasa toilet and a sink. The room was barrenly lit by adim bulb hanging naked from the ceiling. His

thoughts were a jumbled mess, a series of unconnected memories and pictures. Slowly realitybegan to intrude itself into his chaotic state.

He had been having the strangest dream.As he began to recall the eccentricities of it, heremained oblivious to his surroundings. He hadbeen flying. He had begun as Icaru with goldeneagle wings protntding form his arms. Soaringhigher and higher, it had been the most invigorating feeling that he had ever experienced. There

the legend had been wrong The sun wasnhis wings weren t melting. He was finallyAfter a lifetime of repression and oppressiwas unimaginable. He basked in it. Suddfelt a weight on him. He looked down. Itperson clinging on to his foot. He couldn imagine how he had missed him before. Tperson had a strange shifting face. One mit was his father, then his boss at the pizzahe had worked at when he was fifteen, theenglish teacher from high school. He begaspiralling downwards as this person's wegrew heavier and heavier. The ground waracing towards him. He began to scream awoke up covered in sweat.Finally the reality of his surround

grew apparent. This was definitelhis apartment. Where was he? Wpart of his dream?He sat up and pinched himself. Nhappened. No magical transfonnabrought him back to his cozily furapartment. The cot he was sittingstayed metal, the light shone bleakdown on him.Suddenly the door crashed open. dark shrouded figure entered. Inhand he held a gun which he levelTom. Bu t that wasn t what capturTom s attention. He was raptly stathe man s face. It was the shiftingthe man from his dream. For a brisecond it was the face of h is bus dfrom primary school, then it was DVanRicht, then it was the generic fpolice officer. The man with the sface gestured to Tom and then gesout the door. Tom shook his head

was still there. He stood up,swooned, and almost fell down agstill felt so woozy.Suddenly he was wrenched ontoHalf pushed, half walking he was propellthe door and into the hallway. He almost lapsed but was swiftly shoved forwards. I

manner he was escorted down the barren dor. He passed many more doors exactlyone he had come from. From within sevethem a high pitched moaning noise emittesounded like the epitome of human miserfeeling of evil emanated from every brick,door.

The hallway ended in a gof a pregnan t rat. To be quite honest, Ithink these levels are insignificant. Youshould seriously reconsider your choice

i coffee led to the repression of the double door. His escort shoveagainst the wall and thrust opedoor. Tom was led inside into

of topic before you waste both your andthe University's time.""My rat impregnated I ampositive that it was male, and even if itwasn t, what difference would that make? Iperformed that experiment for corroboration of

my results. CORROBORATlON And itdid."Dr. VanRicht said, "Well, oneexperiment is hardly a corroboration. If youintend to pursue this avenue, the least that youcould do is to ensure that your results are correct.Do you think that Newton performed his experiments once? He performed them hundreds and

rtistic side of the brain.wa nothing he could compare it to. He had oftenheard the expression, "It was better than sex", butit was impossible to even relate the two. Thesexual experiences that he had participated inhad been brief sticky encounters that had alwaysleft him vaguely unfulfilled. On occasion he hadbegun to wonder is perhaps he was gay, but hecaught himself before he proceeded too far withthat train of thought. That seemed too horrific toeven consider. Higher and higher he had flownuntil it seemed that he could touch the sun. But

w here he was securely manaclSuddenly a blindingly brlight burst into his face. A diseied voice floated to him from s

where in the darkness. "Hello Thomas, Iyou can hear n1e."Where am I? Who are you?", Tobewilderingly shot back."Where are you? That s a hard quto answer . The place you are in has manyIt has been called Auschwitz, Hades, D acmany others. Who I am is much easier. I VanRicht, your faculty adviser. Tom youfered in something much beyond you . I gthat lowe you an explanation. Many yea


11/24

we came very dose to losing our country.We could have lost it all to a handful ofgoddamn hippies. They were so dose Twohundred years of history would have beenwiped out in an instant. It was a nationalcatastrophy Washington called together thegreatest sociological and scientific minds inthe country including myself. We werecarefully indoctrinated and put to the task of

across was only one facet of this program,although a very successful one. By appealingto the lowest common denominator, allescapism was reduced to a mind-numbinglevel. By watching and learning from sportshows, we were able to succe fully manoeuvre the new hows. Once upon a time, the ractually showed only the truth, they hadintegrity. Nowanybod who watche Cha no illu. ion

about that. TheAn increasing intoxication of power we only news that seven hown issen ationali talways win. The only foreignculture is the

culture that hasstopping the so-called peace revolutionbefore it even started. We were quite successful. The revolution would have likelyoccured in the so-called summer of love.Instead the entire moment floundered andcollapsed within itself. No tool was overooked, we distributed drugs with addedingredients, murdered leading dissidents androck stars, infiltrated peace groups withspecial agents. After the crisis had passed,this group of people met again to discusshow we could prevent this from ever happening again. We explored past and presentsociological theories. We came to the conclusion that if society progressed as it wasdoing, we had at the most 10 to 15 yearsefore a successful revolution would occur.t is impossible to control a country full ofell-educated intelligent people. There is noform of government flexible to satisfy everyody. We love America and refused to allowthis to happen. Slowly we infiltrated everyuniversity, TV station, newspaper andgovernment office. We then set upon aprogram of De -education. The coffee you ran

Sill Windows ami tairs

been crushed byour war machine. Even that is more of avideo game that a series of battles. LevelOne: IRAQ, Level Two: Haaiti. We win Wewin We win An increasing intoxication ofpower. Our way must be right - we alwaywin. At every minute there is the thrill ofvictory. War is more than an enforcement ofpolitical ideology now, it is a election tool.TV, magazines, university, nowhere isthought encouraged. Apathy rules thecountry. It was amazing. The trend onlyneeded the slightest of nudges to start itspiraling. People hate thought They fearthinkers You unfortunately came along atexactly the wrong time. You see, we have aplan to permanently ensure that our powerremains strong. We contracted an extractfrom a drug popularly known as Prozacwhich eliminates extreme emotion. Anybodywho takes this will be little better off than amachine. If you had uncovered the coffeeextract, it could have been determined to bean additive, which it was. This would haveundoubtabedly resulted in a careful scrutinyof all ingestible substances. The government

air tudioSpa

746 - 7171STUDENTS RECEIVE

20 off all Hair Services100/0 off all Esthetic ServicesALL DAY EVERY DAYmay have created us, but we have gone far beyond them.We are the only people who can be trusted with America'sfuture, and now that future will be assured forever. Weplan to put the Prozac extract into the country s watersupply."With that a shot rang out and Tom s foreheadexploded i nto a spray of blood and bone fragments .Epilogue:Doesn t it make you feel better?The pigs have won tonight.Neither highs nor lows,We are the MTV generation.

f loat ing away in the vas t depth ofspace. My mind slowly turned andreal ized where it was. Frightenedand alone it star ted to panic, looking for a way back ho "me , Isearched endlessly . Finall it rl:alized ils fale and knew th I C wasno way back. AI Ihal mom ot itdied .T wee d ie d II II

MusicSpirit of lifeRise of dealhSmell of loveRats buming aliveBirds flying but fallingCrowds dissipating but fermenting a new riolStar lighting but dyingGet used to itA life of analogiesA life of oppositesA life of usAxel oriega


12/24

-LetMe Out

ishop James Follis

Cmon cmon you know you wanna. Everyone s .doing it it s rool rool rool rooL..Christy bolted up. She was sweating and

gripping her sheets. She turned and looked overat Rob the guy she picked up at Verdi s last night.He was fairly good looking, sort of preppy. Helooked like the type of guy that had a fair amountof money. Well not him, but his family. Hewasone of her history courses, or at least shethought he was.She had started out last night with somethe girls in one of the flats around the cornerhers. They had boug ht some cider and weretent on drin king it before they left. But thisevening Christy wasn t going to drink with them.She had ot her plans.

Christy had always been a littlerepressed, well maybe a whole lot repressed. She1 ~ l h a d been sheltered as a child and even through-

out her teenage years and now that she was onher own she was becoming more and more awarewhat the real world was about. Her eyes wereslowly opening up to the realities around her andtonight she wanted even more. She wanted toreach inside

coand come

forward to going to the office in the morning, notbecause he loved his job but because he despisedhis home life. Every time that she tried to talk tohim about it he would be quick to point out thatsomeone had to pay the bills, someone wouldhave to pay for her university education. Hermother seemed to be prett y oblivious to the factthat Frank spent an outrageously high number ofhours awat from home. Sometimes Christywondered if her father really spent all thosehours at the office.

Christy spent more and more time at herfriends houses. But most of them weren t reallytrue friends. She didn t have any true friends.This was due in part to her inability to open up toothers. She had never put her trust in anyoneother than herself. Her upbringing had taughther to hide her emotions, to mask her truefeelings. Eve rything shoul d be happy and cheery- if not on the inside, then certainly on the outside. She didn t like it, it wasn t the way it shouldbe. Something inside her told her there was moreto life than what she had now, and she wanted it.The music at the party was escalating andmore people were arriving. She had decided thatshe would and now she was sure of it. Shereached into her purse and pulled out her license.Slowly she unfolded the document and outdropped a thick small blue piece of corrugated


13/24

It is not that love sometimes makes mistakes,but that, it is essentially a mistake.e fall in love when our imaginationprojects non-existent perfections ontoanother person.One day the phantasmagoria vanishes,and with it love dies.

Love is something which diesand when deadit rots and becomes soilfor a new love.Thus in realitythere is no death in loveIndeed, love for death is a non-factualbut existent feelingthat drag us down to the feetof love, ItselfLove is a delusion or wandering of themindwhich should be called madness.Experience the animal soul in youFly over the hillSeek for new horizons,Your mind can do it.Fly and fly until you get themWould you find love or death?t is up to you,it only exists in thee.xel Noriega

I remember my childhood in agreat detail. A lot of it was spentlooking after two kids who livedwith my mother and me. Therewere also a lot of bad experiencesI ve tried to put behind me. Onceat age eight, I fell through the roofof a factory at the quarry andspent two seeks in Dorchesterhospital . This experience standsout in my mind the most, as I toldeveryone I fell down a quarry,which everyone including thedoctor believed. I lied as I didn twant anyone to know that I wasclimbing on the factory roof. Iknew I shouldn t be up there, but

-something possessed me to climbacross. I remember stepping onone roof tile and thinking, this isn tgoing to hold me. Sure enough, Ifell through. I don t know why Ican t remember anything fromthat point on until I awoke in thehospital bed. Everyone tells me Iwas fully ,awake in between, but ashard as I try I can remember anything. I t s I ike part of mymemory has been taken a way.weedledum

f r I

Their pulses accelerateTheir hearts beat quickly.Their lives are been wasted.Their conversations are deadly.Some faint as they go .Just to be stepped under the soles of others.They are blind and there is danger on the roadThey are stoned and no one sobers.They are viciou, slime.Ambition is their only objcclivc.Crime is their pastime.De troying is as they live.At light at the end of the tunnelThey can l think of hope.No one sees it at allThey can t cope.They consume themselves in boredom.Everybody just waits to be unbindThe light of freedom.Total liberation from their same kind. xelNoriega

Cfr.ocoCate 11Wusse andstolen k.isses remind me of cfii[cfr.ooa. 11ie sweet stick.iness oj each lias and innocelllat11Wspfiere surrounding it. Cfii[cness is good it makgs you Jeer trivial ananefps you forget pro6(ems tlialsurround you tiow. Maturity is over rated; with maturity come stress, peer pressures, emotionaC attach-ments andpain. 'TIiese are things tfuLt sometimes I couUdo witliout. Cfiildliood is Ju[[ oj k. lOw[edge andfe.arning, and wfien you're a child you can get away with 5 mucfi fun stuffand peopfe pass it offasfor your age. Your imagination is wiUandalive. J s you grow oMer it s{ow{y dies away. I wish it didn t.Tww{[eaum, II .: t tt


14/24


15/24

UW's acbethDoth Murder SleepB:tles rage, witches scheme, darkness deepens, the very airscreams, and an ambitious young host murders is scheming. g. t s a world where Fair is foul and foul is fair, where'There's daggers in men's smile. This is the world of the Universityof Waterloo Drama Department's Macbeth.The key to realizing Shakespeare 's classic cautionary tale, forspectators who no longer believe in the divine right of monarches or the reign of the supernatural, is to bring out themeanings of the text, the resonance of greed, lust, and powerin our own minds.Warriors with shaven heads and body tattoos, double-sidedwitches with false fronts, a tapestry of electronic and livesound and music are only fragments of the panorama assembled by a creative team that includes director, Maarten vanDijk, resident designer, William Chesney, and veteran Stratford fight choreographer, John Stead.In order to avoid cliches and foil expectations, a cast of morethan 30 will rehearse daily for two months while an everexpanding crew of students and professionals labour behindthe scenes. The aim of all this effort: to create a nightmare ofepic proportions. Or, as van Dijk puts it: to knock your socksoff. The 1994 UW Drama Department's production comeswith the warning: Macbeth doth murder sleep.

Macbeth runs November 23-26,8 pm in the Theatre of theArts, Modern Languages Building. Tickets are available atthe Theatre Centre Box Office, Hagey Hall or by calling 888-4908. 10 general public, $8 students/seniors.

Ladtfer aruf'Door


16/24


17/24

aith nd Apocalypse in the 20th CenturyMario Be/labarba

VP Getting in Over His HeadSTRESSED nd proud of it

Yet again. I find myself proctoring an exam and trying to figure out how to kill time besides just staring atthe walls and occasionally accusing a student of cheating. Sitting here, waiting for 9 o'clock to come around,my mind turns inexplicably to darker, more ominous

t h o u h t s ~ thoughts of death, destruction, and how thehell Bruce Willis managed to get hooked into a reallygood movie. His agent must not have had scriptapproval for thi.s one. Along wi,th these boring, linearthoughts, I began to wonder about what abominationssociety has unleashed on itself lately, and why it spellsirruninent doom.

- There's a shop near Union Station that carries nothing but Barbie dolls and accessories. Not only had Inever seen so much pink in my life, but it got me thinking: Barbie has cars, houses, water slides, telephones, awardrobe that would put the Princess of Monaco toshame, and millions of trinkets to accessorize this vastcollection of d1eap plastic junk I don't think Ken evenhas a d1ange of dothes.

- One of the two multiple choice questions on theGraphics mi d-tenn had 'C' as its answer. Have profsnot yet figured out that 'C' is a knee jerk reaction to anyquestion a student can't figure out? They may as wellhave put the solutions to the whole midterm in thelibrary 7 hours before the exam started. The ultimateirony is, unfortunately, most people didn't answer 'C',thus proving that the frosh haven't been reading theirhandbooks.

- The Warriors Football team made it to the playoffsand were on their way to Skydome for a game against#2-in-the-nation-Laurier, a game which they eventuallycame dangerously close to winning, and what does the

Imprint put on their front cover the day before the biggame? A picture of some band that happened throughtown recently. Let' keep that school pirit running highand strong, rah, rah, rah

- People keep calling me Maggot Boy And I thoughtWoody had a brutal nickname.- IT'S COMING lINE UP FAST, BEFORE IT SELLSOUT Shag-Fu, the latest, and most hyped game to hitthe markeLI'm just glad to see that yet an ther oungsuperstar has taken it all in stride and not made a ridiculous spectade of himself. Too bad The Shaq didn't fol-low his exan1ple.-1 actually won something in a draw . This may notseem like a big deal, but in my 22 years, I've never wonanything more significant than a free gam of pinball.By the way, if you ever go to an on-field party at Skydome, don' t be surptised if "on-field" means the backthird of an end-zone.

- Can't fmd your remote? Have you been searchinghither and yon for it because you or your roommatewas too stupid, lazy and/or absent-minded to put it inan obvious location the last time one of you d,ose to getyour fat ass out from in front of the idiot box? Well,thankfully, TV manufacturers have come to the rescueand saved us from ourselves yet again. As if 500 d1annel tuners weren't enough, there is now a TV that will,at the toud, of a button, cause your remote to emit asteady beep until you can dig it out from under the seatcushions. TI,e original design had called for the beeperto be activated by the sound of clapping. Early markettests, however, revealed. that most people who wereclueless enough to regularly lose their rernotes alsoowned Clappers . As a result, test subjects wererepeatedly tuming on and off every light, kitchen appliance and K-Tel electric can opener/blender/diapersteamer whenever they tried to fmd their remotes. Allof this reminds me: what ever happened to those 1Vs

with the built-in telephones that used to be all the rag- Watstar prime-tin,e quotas are tarting to cut

everyone' s ability to procrastinate and avoid doassignm nt - by reading news and sending e-mai"just a minute". It' getting so I might have to givemy habit of posting intentionally inflammatory artcontaining glaring factual errors to newsgroups, jus

if anyone out there will take the bait (alt.fan.rlimbaugh usually provides some amusing, and sotimes di turbing responses). I 'm startillg to getimpression the Dean Wilson and his troupe oveEngineering Computing think that Watstar is for edtional purposes only. cd, wouldn't that be dull?

- The Canadian Association of Broadca t Stand(or som thing to that effect) has censured Globalshowing the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Unfonately, Global was reprimanded because the show too violenl, not becau se it was too mind-nmnbinglypid. Oh w , the ends sometinles do justify the mea

I've been getting a strange feeling lately. 0, not it's just the feeli.ng that the more I type, the moshould be thinking about the work report that I havdream up this tenn (Can you say "mindless resetopic? I knew you could). Luckily, the following evare coming up to distract me from th inevitable.

Nov 10 - Sesame Streel pren1iers, 1%9Nov 12 - TI,e first known Happy Hour, Ireland, 17Nov 15 - Armual Three Stooges ilin Festival, Har

burg,PANov 16 -The touci,-tone phone is invented, 1%3Nov 19 - Poptartsare invented, 1965Nov 21 - Enrico Onra, the first human cannonbal

launched, 1871Nov 23 - Vincent Paxon sets a new World Record

playing the guitar for 300 continuou s hours, 1986Nov 24 - The ''Who Shot J.R." episode of Dallas

1980


18/24

h tin i ntThere I lay, on the couch, trying to kill the pain with

age old spirits, watching my foot grow and grow andgrow. After a few hours, I o t ~ an extra large bumpRthose of you who have never had the pleasure forming below my ankle on the outside of my left foot. Iof breaking a b(me, I'll describe the events of Fri- gave in around 10 PM and asked Dave to drive me today, October 21st so that you can have a dearer KW Emergency. Iwent in through the automatic revolvpicture of what it's like. I had broken my leg falling out ing doors (that was a treat) and Dave went over toof a tree when I was a kid and my nose rolling in a Alex's, which happened to be across th street from theChevy a little later on but those don't scorn to compare. hospital. Tgot in a wheelchair (a treat for about ]0 minHere's how this latest one goes and no, I wasn't drunk at utes) and got signed in at admitting. I then proceeded tothe tim '. wait for about an hour in a room with: a grandma whoBefore my mbbcr WClS twistrd into helping Skinner apparently twisted her granddaughters am1, a smallfiniBh some kegs, I decided to drive uver to i\ friend's (a leather dad man in his fortIes with tattoos allover hisfom,ercngineer - it is po sible to fail the sam lerm twice arms who apparently fractured his ribs doing sometl1ing- Alex house and sec how his party was shaping up. It Twas really curious about, and a woman about my agewas an architecture party and, for (with h r boyfriend) who apparentlysome reascJO, they don't start their pelr . - . . . . - - - . . . - - - - . -- - - - had traubl swallowing. A llurse thenties until after 11 PM. It was 7:30 PM , fond led my foot, told me a doctor wou d.0 after some polite converf;ation, I be there shorLly, and immediately pro-decided to head back to where the cceded to wa sh her hands. Meanwhilekegs and the belowd table wa > As J Dave and Alex dropped by, stayed tohurried down the b lCk btairs at lex's, laugh and giggle at my predicament,I foolishly skipped the last few u im. and left to get a few more beers. An hourIn myoId age, equally old topsid"TS lat r, following several wonderful con-and poorly lit parking lot, I hit a rut versations with the other ER patients, aand twisted my ankl ferociouRly . It'R doctor came in. He looketllike he'd hadtough to describe the ounus that a few and didn't know tlle meaning ofemanated from nw foot at that tlie word pain. ''Does it hurt here/' as hemoment. Jt was kind of like when embeds his thumb in my foot. I casuallyyou're tightening a rusty old bolt and said, "yes" and noticed he had left hisit finally snaps. Now the Wi begins. thumbprint on my skin. TI1e throbbing

~ ilm.NightMike PossmayerNSystemsCome watch all your favourite National Ftlrn Bclassics like The Cat Carne Back and The Big SniThursday at the Film Night for YOThis event is a fundraiser for Youth Chal

lntemational (YCI). I will going to Costa Rica foweeks starting in March to do volunteer workYCT. YCT is an organi7..ation that promotes yinvolvement in issues of local and global devment.Whil in Costa Rica, I will be working on a vof environmental, medical and community devment projects.The main f ature of tl,e NFB Film Night w

Rain Forest A Report From nsta Rim, whiel1 examili state of the tropical rai n forest today, and effoprotect it. Other funny NFB flj ks include Neigh(another NFB classic), TIle Owl nri tJ e Rm;ell, anHackel} Sweater by Roch arrier. n,is fantasli will be held Thursday, ovember 17 at 7pm iICR Room by the FIsh Bowl, OC1304. DonationYCI will be accepted at the door.Any questions e-mail:MPOSSMAycgsYSfEMS

I had somehow managed not to fall pain continued . - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -over and, assuming it was just a as he explail,edsprain, to continue over to Skinner's. [ to me, with thehopped to my car in extreme pain and use of anjumped in. My car's a tandard (it was a nat ami c a Imy ciut h foot that I screwed up) and drawing (itnot starting too well these days. So I makes thin gs sohave to push in the clutch with my screwed up foot much clearer), that, 'Ithis bone,becaw I have to hold ilie brake with my right foot (oh or maybe Uus bone, is broken;yeah, my parking brak i brokl'l) sin (' TWil 01) an let's get an x-ray." I waitedinelin . nH car finally St-irts and I b0gin driving, stUl in another half hour until a nurseextreme pain, to [ don't


19/24

TH

Visdo DlmovsklOffen lv

I While doing the Concrete Toboggan B.B.Q.son Thursday at lunch, I'found my eli explainingwh a t the ConcreteToboggan is a ll about,both to Frosh and toupper year tudents. Thisis for all those that did notknow and are too shy orafraid to ask:THE EVENTThe Great NorthernConcrete Toboggan Race(GN TR) is an annualundeq;raduate engineering student competitionopen to university andtechnical college teamsfrom Canada, UnitedStates and abroad. Thefirst GNCTR was heldnear Red Deer, Alberta, in -1974, with four schoolsfrom Alberta competing.

~ T1 8

This yeaf in Edmontonf u ~ w e r e ~ t ~ . T h e ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~competition must be held Waterloo's 1992 entry. Labogganin Canada; alternating yearly between Westernprovinces (Briti h Columbia, Alberta Saskatchewan and race perfonnance.and Manitoba) and Eastern provinces (the re U. The THE TEAMresponsibilities of ho ting the foll wing year's GNCfRare offered to fue overall champion of the current year'sevent, provided they ql1alliy geographically. In Febmaty of 1995, L'Ecole Polytechnique in Montreal will hostthe 21st annual competition.The GNCTR is typically covered by both local andinter-university radio, television and newspapers. In1994, CSC New world covered the event extensively.

TI1C event involves the design, construction and per-formance of a concrete toboggan. Complete with abraking system, aluminum chassis, flbreglass canopyand concrete riding slab, the GNCTR provides anopportunity for dvil engineering students to PlJt theirdesign expertise into practice. Design criteria for thetoboggan require a concrete running surface, a total1118SS of less fuan 136 kilogmms, and room for five riders. TI1e evaluation involved. in the event is centered ontechnical.design, construction, technical presentation,

The Ovil Engineering Class of 1995 (OffunOv), willbe entering one toboggan (WaterLllge) to represent theUniversity of Waterloo. Our main objectives for theGNCTR include:

1) To represent the University, and our sponsors U nprofessional, competent and spirited manner;2)to manage a project effedively from designthrough fabrirolion;3) To maximize da, s p.1rtidp.1t11111 in the de, ign, 011 -stnlction and competition ofa lc hnimlly inl10 0-tive toboggan;4) To compete enthusiAsti Uy end ttl promote Ct1n1.n-raderie and friendship with other n in e r i 11 g

schools; and5) to bring the first place trophy to the University ofWaterloo.

BUDGET

Roll Bar

Fibreglus Canopy

In addition to our current fltndrai sing effo(B.B.Q. 's, T-Shirt sales, parties, contests, etc.}, weseeking sponsorship to make oLlr partidpation inevent possible. Without the help of ollr sponsors,will not cover OLIr projected costs. Our total ' : , ~budget of$10,500 is itemized below.

EI1 try Fee (20 x 55)PromotionMlltl'ri.11 Ie. '011 '11 i I -l iollUniformsTmntllX Jrt.llil1l1Al\"()tllI11Cllinl1tm5% ( ) l 1 l 1 n ~ l n r y1 rAl.:

$1,100$1,001:j, lrfilXJe; Xl" 1, i( Xl2,4(X)"i(Xl

Wl' will be holdl.ng B13Q.1 v ry 'Ihuradny, utiP. . ., . ., nd we hope Ihnt Wl"lJ j ('ryOtl Iand upporllt 1 b buying n u r ~ 1 . ' r ' Of two.

IN THE PA T ..The UnJwll Jty of Wnl -rioo 'itter-. n loboggl.ln inNCm en h year and ho btJllRtl'll n mnl1Y as

entries in on \ compditiOl1. Waterloo leiln1S an.?1\uwned for th l i t plri , trung pi.1rtJd}1tlUOll Ilndve.tiv' t { j b o ~ g a n deRlgl1..lJ. 111 1994, lht' Waterlooga11S p1.1 Ci 41h find 9th owrall (out ~ ) f 48 Lt'amq), wJt'll col1d fast 'st descent. Other owards toCJ1.'Ctit in I"l.lC 'nt yl'i1rs include: 2nd 111 brnkin,,;de ign in 1991, 2nd overall in 1987 find 1989, anumerau 1 t, 2nd, and 3rt pIac - standing' in indivual categoriL'S.


20/24

EngSoc Directorships ummer 995~ P l i c a t i O n forms for directorships are available in the Orifice now. Please return comleted forms to the Orifice by November 21 .Detailed descriptions of these positions are availablein the Engineering Society Policy Manual. Just askBetty to see it

EXTERNAL

Remember thinking about which prof quote was bestthis week? This directorship provides all students witha weekly dose of announcements and humour.

P**S(2)Allocating points for each activity in a fair and acOl

rate method with the mission to get each class to participate.

Policy ManualKeep the manual up to date so at least the exec have

somewhere to find things out.Campu rWide Activities SpeciaJ Events (4)Arrange events with ot her societies on campus and You organize raft races, Twister, aquatic sports, and

continually promote community spirit with fellow other excellent event s with the help of classes. Eng-Waterloo students. Week, EngWeekend, poster, participant and excitement

Public Relations are under your area of responsibility.Work closely with the VP-External in publicizing Take Some News 2)

Engineering. Prepare public press statements to pro- Pick up the Eng Soc vid camera and record Engi-mote the work of the society and be available to answer neering students doing silly things as well as seriouscommunity concerns with regards to the engineering things to put together a $eri of show for Poets to.keepopinion on various issues. Maintain close liaison with people informed anq titillated.other publications such as the Gazette, Chronicl a n ~ Publicity (2)Record. PROM , make posters, PROMOTE talk to peo-

ESSCO Rep ple, PROMOTE, and help other directors inform engi-Provide a liaison with the EngineeringSrudent neering students about ex events. Also take careety Conference of Ontario. Attending aWe50P-'te c0nfer- of the white board and thepixelboard.

ences can be part of this directorship Exchange 2)Electronic Services Be friendly to exchange ~ d e n t s , and help them feelKeep UWJnfo up to date and help set up the World comfortable with life in Waterloo. W"arious events can

Wide Web home page. be run including pubs or BQ;.Fed Rep Semi-Formal (2)Be a representative of the Engineering Society on the ~ n i z e and get the glory of hosting the in.farn0UFederation of Students Council. Inform Engineering Semi-fOnnal

students about Fed activities. Spirit Directo (2)Owities 2) These people will bE; ~ n s i b l e .fur livening up the,Plan events such as p or Mastercard n I l t l i i ~ _ ; > N > with Spirit days an tin ~ e n t s .

that will help engineering studen u their time and Secretaryabilities to benefit the community. Each charities event Come to Eng&:x: meetingsand help SkitUler (he can'tshould be fun and exciting and invo ve as many Mple read or write) with 'u tes ofmeetip,gs.as possible.WEEF Assistant i r e c t o ~ (2)

Assist the WEEP Director in Various activities including meetings, IW articles, directions to proceed anabusiness ~ This is an excelJent position fc;r anyoneinterested in getting involved many or all ~ p e c l { ; of theWEEP.

SAC RepStudenl" Advising Co-op: This is the studen voice

to the o-op department. You have to ttill them whatwe want.

SFFRepStudent rep to the Sandford Fleming Foundation.

Work with SFF in organizing debates, technical scompetitions and other exciting stuff.

INfERNALAthletics (2)A great directon-.hip since you would have to orga

ni.r..c (or assign c\ 'IS.'i(.'S to organize) the munerOllS sporting events that take place mch term - Engineering FloorHockey, Volleyball, Modbowl, etc. while havi ng funyourself,

Arts (2)TaiEng, Stratford, Movie Nights, and lots of artistic

contests (photography, short stories, and maybe something new, ) This din.'C'torship reminds student < thatthere is more to life than another Calculus assiglUT,ent.BNAD(2)

Play lots of music and make a lot of noise at Engineeringevents.

E n g i n e w s l e t t e ~ 2

SERVICESPOETS ~ e r s (2)Contact oor services with requests for lots more beer

every--day-aIf. he-time-and- en--some as en as pre-viding other services like music, darts, and popcornThe managers Cl)- )rdinate all of the pubs during theterm,

POETS ProgrammingResponsible for schedu ling movies, TV progralIlS,

and music. I\.lso should delegate taping.D(2)

cw Fonnat Learn to manage a small business atschopl. TIle C&D directors take part in the day-to-dayorganizati n, aCCOtU1tins cw tomer relations a well assampling new food products and improving the effectiveness of the C&D, working with our full-time manager,Orifice Director (2)

Increase the usefulnes s of the EngScx: center of operations through capital improvements and day to dayoperations. Leam to take over th Orifice when Bettyneeds help.

Recycling 2)Work with the University recycling committee and

.vit h each cnginl.'Cring class to operate a system of recycling ,viti'lln t he engineering buildings.Novelties (2)

Try your hand at marketing, sales, and artistic pursuits (thinking of new t-shirt ideas.) EngSoc is alwayswilling to try new novelty ideas so if you are and ideaperson or just like to go shopping for 2000 people then

apply for this job.Darkroom DirectorImprove the current darkroom situation

everyone can enjoy working there with all the nsupplies, equipment and training provided.

IRON WARRIOREditor-in-ChiefBe the boss. Run the show. Harass thespews. What a power trip.Assistant d i t o ~Assist the editor. Do whatever needs to be do

free tickets to plays, if he editor lets you have thLayout d i t o ~Select the music to be played in the IW office

of enjoyments in front of the IW's Mac. Baslory ofputting together the best publication caPhoto EditorT ~ Rictures of events, exec, etc. Endless .6ln s . darkroom chemicals, or delegate

. Get t do fun things to the exec pictures who,P.Al;iv . ing a g e ~ Oots)Get to know Hat's going on in K-W, and w

best deals e. ke contacts. Get these pIW.tersHang out in the IW oflfe cause it is such a coto be. Write stuff.

ACADEMICS

Ensure Class Reps act effectively by sharingmotivation of their classes It's your job to aid nicati between ClassReps and their classes.

Ac.ademicsEn ourage sNden and ofs to contribut

exam binde rs in the Orifice. Join committees ton campus, and shmoozewith the profs.Course Criijques

Worl


21/24

From the Deans' Des ' sThis is the econd publication of a new feature in the Iron Warrior. Fromthe Deans' Desks i a mean for the Dean of Engineering and the A sociateDeans to Communicate with the student body. This column will provideinformation about new programs and cour e , a well a update on theprojects in which our Dean are involved. Please read on.Been Waiting Long

It's midnight at the end of tenn, and all the computers in Engineering are in use. We call it saturation; students call it frustration. Economics and logistics indicate that it's probably the way of the future, but does itneed to be?

The use of computers has become more prevalent inEngineering, for specialized course materials, reportpreparation, personal interest and electronic communication. With the introduction of network news, UWinfo, and on-line co-op job information, this usage is likelyonly to increase. Towards the end of the last few tem1S,this has manifested itself in full rooms, long lines, andsometimes heated confrontation. In trying to find solutions to the problem, we have been examining the loading trends in the public Watstar rooms (2-1308B, E2-1302, EL-I08, CPH-2367).

In an analysis of use logged during the winter tenn,we saw that usage takes a roughly sinusoidal curve,with a low at six o'clock in the morning, and a highbetween noon and four o'clock As the system becamesaturated (more students, more time, more due dates)this peak lengthened, eventually stretching past midnight and into the early hours of the moming. Interestingly, the usage between eight o'clock and noon didn'tchange. A casual survey was also performed over anumber of weeks to examine visually what the Watstarstations were being used for throughout the day, withthe results divided into eight categories (fable 1 .Table : Percentage Use by Inspection

3) providing a means of infonning users when the"crund1 times" are likely to be;

4) encouraging users to pread the load more even ly,and to use more carefully the 5CarL--e resolll\."e5;

5) developing templates and tutoriall: to make routinecomputing tasks simpler;

6) installing additional networking and computingl1


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1 going insaneThe last coupleweeks have been psy-chotic around the Orificeand there is no obvious end insight I hope that everybody else is handling themidterm crunch OK Since my last spew so much h shappened, so I give to you a brief summary.

Requests for donations were heard a few weeks agoat the EngSoc meeting and as a result, funds have beengiven to four groups as follows: $200 to Midnight Sun;$200 to Concrete Toboggan;$100 to ASME; and $100 toesc. Thank you to ll the groups for applying andespecially to those groups who have responded backEngSoc with a thank you letter, it was appreciated andwill be remembered in terms to come.

Requests for handbook f unds (Capital Expenditures)have been submitted and as of the Joint Council meeting, the IW request has been approved. The paper willbe receiving its new removable hard drive and software upgrades as soon as pOssible. CongratulationsOther requests are still being considered and updateswill follow.

New novelties have been ordered and should bearriving in the next few weeks. It's not too early to tartthinking about XMAS gifts. So come into Orifice andbuy now

The D is preparing for its restructuring. Effortscontinue on bothA &BSoc. to ready ourselves and as aresult a IOl of information will be coming your way inthe next issue of the IW. In short, we will be looking fora number of student cashiers to commit to two or three4-hour shifts per week and the hiring process for thefull-time manager will lx."'gin soon. If anybody has anyquestions or comments please come and talk to meASAP. Otherwise, the C&D is in a much more stablecondition financially than it has been in the past andwill continue to be a success well into the future.

Same old message again, please get all of yourexpense forms in as soon as possible. I want to clear asmany of the checks as possible before finals start to hitus. Forms are available in the Orifice.

One last point - as the end of term approaches, weare looking for new directors to fill the positions fornext term. Please come in to the Orifice to get moreinformation and watch for signs in the halls for deadlinesand other details.Good luck and take care

Hyone I hope everyone had as gooda time as I did at the Semi that i and Krista so success-

fully ran. I can't remember t he last time that a semi soldout. Seemed like quite a few people had a wee bit todrink (don't worry Opie and Emma, I won't mentionyour names), but I think everyone had a good time.

Well, on to business. The man upstairs (the Deanwas very generous to your local EngSoc this year. Hehas funded a very large portion ofour conference bud get for the 1994-1995 school year (September toAugust.) A large reason for this is due to his concernthat we need a lot of the CCES 96 organizers at CCES'95 so that when we host the conference we don't looklike a bunch of smegheads. Thanks to his generosity,we willbe sending 4 people to the conference, but don'tbother filling in an application form. since the spots arealready filled with organizers.

If you get a chance, check out the new EnCommunication meetings. Gareth and Rod one hell of a job in setting up training sessionting guest speakers for their meetings. The EnCommunications was set up on Gareth aincentive, and it is intended to be a forum foing the conununication skills of the people whpate.

On a more se rious note, please take a momtime to read the article that I submitted regaDecember 6th Polytechnique memorial. I wothank everyone who helped me out in wThanks to the exec, and other EngSoc membeBill Lennox for thei r time. I really appreciate it

cheers,BullPS - I went and saw ''Love Affair" the ot

Just what the hell does "Don't worry, if you ccan walk" mean?


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Iron War-riar staff. (Please don ' t do scary

things to my photo )JOlNT COUNCILJoint council went well One item that I mentioned

was the cleanliness of U1e Orifice. If you are eating ordrinking in the Orifice, please put your emptycans/bott les in the recycling bin, and throw out your

MATH COMPUTER

I garlJage. On a good note, the v e r jarhas been very effective.

DIRECIDRSHIPSI Directorship applications are available in the Orifice (a of T y. 7). If youare interested in applying for a din.>ctor-ship for the SWlUner term, pl&lS fill onout. There is a list of all positions available, each with a brief description in thisissue. For more detailed i.nfonnation,please refer to th policy manua l, whichis availabl for all to see in the Orifice -just ask Betty, or you can talk to th cur-rent director or the IX. For those hoare directors this tern", it is very important that you fill out th ''Policy ManualRevision FOffi1", also available in theOrifice. TIle deadline for directorshipapplications is Monday, ovember 22.

LOOK TO THE RJTURETI1ere will be a suggestion box put in U1e orifice. If

you have any ideas or comments or questions aboutEngSoc please take the time to put them on paper anddrop them in the suggestion box.I see nothing but final exams ...

- John

COLlINIBI/\

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the iron warrior magazine: volume 3, issue 3

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