The Ice Ice Baby Methodology of Sales: Kicking it VIP

A PowerPoint From FlyoverJoel

Sales MethodologyStop – Talking at your customers

Collaborate – With your Team

Listen – To what your customers are saying

Increase – Revenue through brand new editions

Hold – Tightly to ideas that grab you

Flow – Like a harpoon daily and nightly

With this methodology, you’ll ask yourself: “will it ever stop?”

Even we don’t know.

Daily Sales Activities

Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle

Extreme

Rock a mic like a vandal

Turn off the lights and glow

CELEBRATE SALES BY BUM RUSHING THE SPEAKERS THAT BOOM!

Compliance

• All our poisonous mushrooms are FDA compliant

• All melodies have been cleared by the FCC for appropriate dopeness

• All felony charges related to SOX accounting practices have been dropped

• We hit the bullseye with all federal regulations. These kids don’t play.

If there was a problem, yo, I'll hold a status

meeting to discuss but not solve it.

Check out the hook while my committee reviews it.

Competitive Advantages

Our rapid response system allows us to be quick and to the point without faking relationships and gives us the cutting edge focus to cook our competition like a pound of bacon.

We burn them if they fail to be quick and nimble.

Success Factors

• All sales rep roll solo in 5.0’s

• Despite having numerous girlies on standby, no current sexual harassment lawsuits

• So I continued to our conveniently located offices at A1A Beachfront Ave.

Best business Casual Friday in the industry with female reps

often wearing less than bikinis.

Annual drug testing to assure no chump coworkers are illin’ full of

eight balls.

Case Study

Gunshots

Grabbed 9

Jumped in car

Slammed on gas

Bumper-to-bumper traffic

Got away before jackers jacked

1. Annual training offered in lyrical poetry in Miami

2. Additional training in how to annoy people with loud bass from car speakers

3. We don’t spill a lot of chemicals4. Even though we’d be in jail for our story in this

song we’d like to paint a believable picture that the audience can feel.

Shave Eyebrows Not Ninjas

Something about a ninja but we really aren’t paying attention anymore because:

This should surprise no one.

MY GOD!!! HE SHAVED LINES IN HIS EYEBROWS!!!

Conclusion

WORD TO YOUR MOTHER

Thanks for Reading!

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