Imagine waking up next to a window that overlooks nothing but a wall. So you get up, stretch, yawn and see the same old yellowing wall, with plaster slightly peeling away, with the same letters and words every day. Luckily, it wasnt one of those walls with movie posters, waiting to be spoilt by the rain and the men; instead it was the compound wall of a convent with biblical sayings written all around. (Youll see that only if youve been to Kerala). And it said, For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son. So, for a month I woke up with an ardent desire to give, than to receive. (Just for a month, mind you.)Interestingly, my besties birthday too was coming up the same month. She has been my best bud, my rock for more than a decade. Call it her luck, our ultra-strong bond coupled with all those thoughts for giving made me mull for weeks together over what to gift her. Phew! Didnt Bible just boost consumerism! Anyway, thats how the great gifting conundrum began.Her choices were unique too. Shes not the girly type, she wouldnt settle for a pair of fancy earrings or a flashy nail colour. Being the tall girl that she is, a pair of heels would be the last thing shell ever need. So, you do understand the gravity of the issue, right? But thats when Sheikh Hasina dropped a hint-gift a jamdani silk the way she did for the visiting Indian PM. In fact, hadnt Modi too delighted Michelle the Benarasi way. (Okay, maybe she wouldnt mind a little compromise there, even if I settle for a lower cost alternative!) Clothes- now that was a brainwave. But sadly, it dawned to me that her dress sense was no way close to mine. While my wardrobe was filled with fiery shades of red, she liked the sober ones. Imagine Brinda Karat gifting Mamata di! Well, that was just to bring out the incongruity of the whole thing; I dont mean to say she looks like mamata di, shes more like Priyanka Vadra when she visits Amethi.(Remember those pre-election spectacles, those crisp cotton saris) Moreover, I had taken this risk sometime back, so not a dress again. Jamdani and banarasi silk- ruled out. Thanks madam Hasina, though.Ideas, where art thou? Modi to the rescue again. Why not gift a book especially when I know that she is an avid reader? Gita and Bible well, she could already be having a copy of each. Moreover the last time I lent her a copy of the fountainhead, to make her embrace the idea of capitalism and the virtue of selfishness, she gifted me The other hand making me realize that the rug under my feet could be pulled over any time and theres still place for benevolence in this world. Books- ruled out, an ideological clash is the last thing we would ever want. So, I thought I would buy her a sweet little card with a cute message, but I found the lines way too cheesy and pretentious. Something that Nitish Kumar and Lalu Prasad Yadav would send each other to celebrate their newly found fraandship. For a brilliant writer who is bold and frank, this run-of-the-mill wouldnt do. In our 13 years of friendship what we learnt was that we need not have similar tastes to understand each other but an understanding of the differences in our tastes. Around the same time, I heard about Kanthaka, a brown horse that was gifted to Modi by the Mongolian premier. The same article told me that it was no new idea. In fact Nehru had gifted a baby elephant named Indira to a zoo in Japan. (What a daughter, she wouldnt even object to her dad calling an elephant by her name, huh!! I would have declared an emergency at home.) Anyway, taking a leaf out of the animal diplomacy book, I considered gifting her a pet animal. I was sure she loved animals. (I remember how she had gone awry and launched an extensive hunt for Mihu, her missing kitten a few years back on fb!! :P ) But sadly, that wouldnt work either. I am scared of every more than 2-legged creature. Maybe, flipkart could consider free home delivery of pets, people like me would be eternally indebted. The only animal whose presence or maybe I should reframe it- whose absence bothers me is the mosquito. It has been my constant companion for life, come rain or shine. On second thoughts, mosquito well, its my blood that flows through those tiny wings and antenna and so, there just couldnt be a gift that has been closer to my heart. Come to think of it- its like straight out of your heart, awww.how lovely! Like how they released about half a million sterile mosquitoes somewhere in China to contain a dengue outbreak, I could do something like that to contain a heartbreak (resulting out of not gifting a thing). My neighbors too would wholeheartedly contribute for so noble a cause! But you know, I cant do that anyway.A baby blanket, a rocking chair or a wagon, not a good idea again, after all she isnt a few months old royal baby. Also, I didnt quite like the idea. (Kids imagination these days is fired by missiles, Michelle, especially when you have a mama like Harry. She could have rather gifted the CIAs terror snakes and ladders board game with al-Qaeda leaders and Saddam Hussein at the heads of snakes. Considering the number of British teenagers crossing borders to join IS, that would have made a thoughtful present!) Serpentine queues and traffic snarls, there is nothing new in that for her, she rules the road; so thats ruled out again. Fragrances, nah, not at a time when I am cornered by the Ill never let go off you cold. So while the queen commemorated 800 years of the Magna Carta and spoke about its far reaching effects, I celebrated 800 hours of a blocked nose and its far reaching snores. Also my friend has sources to get it imported right from the land of perfumes. But thats when I realized that gifts need not be material stuff. They could be favours like procuring travel documents to flee the country, securing seats in colleges and universities and transferring funds into your investments. Maybe, I could tweak it a bit, like helping her bunk classes and flee from professors, catching a seat for her in BMTC busses and watering her plants when she is away.( saplings are an investment, okay? and water is a resource!)Okay, so if you think I am playing around like Housing.coms CEO and have no actual plans (to buy her a gift), you are in for a surprise. I did buy her a gift, a pretty little stuff and it does have some utility value. I wouldnt reveal that, though. Of course, I didnt splurge; you see I didnt want her to get into a disproportionate assets case!