the getting of wisdom [henry handel richardson].txt

7/29/2019 The Getting of Wisdom [Henry Handel Richardson].txt

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TheGettingofWisdombyHenryHandelRichardson

TOMYUNNAMEDLITTLECOLLABORATOR



Wisdomistheprincipalthing;thereforegetwisdom:andwithallthygettinggetunderstanding.

Proverbs,iv,7

I.

Thefourchildrenwerelyingonthegrass.

"...andthePrincewentfurtherandfurtherintotheforest,"saidtheeldergirl,"tillhecametoabeautifulglade--aglade,youknow,isaplaceintheforestthatisopenandgreenandlovely.Andtherehesawalady,abeautifullady,inalongwhitedressthathungdowntoherankles,withagoldenbeltandagoldencrown.Shewaslyingonthesward--asward,youknow,isgrassassmoothasvelvet,justlikegreenvelvet--andthePrincesawthemarksoftravelonhergarments.Thebottomofthelovelysilkdresswasalldirty----"

"WondrousFair,ifyoudon'tmindyou'llmakethatsheetdirty,too,"

saidPin.

"Shutup,willyou!"answeredhersisterwho,carriedawaybyhernarrative,hadapproachedherbootstosomelinenthatwasbleaching.

"Yes,butyouknowSarah'llbeawflycrossifshehastowashitagain,"saidPin,whowaspractical.

"You'llputmeoutaltogether,"criedLauraangrily.--"Well,asIsaid,theedgeofherrobewasallmuddy--no,Idon'tthinkIwillsaythat;itsoundsprettierifit'sclean.Soithunginlong,straightbeautifulfoldstoherankles,andthePrincesawtwolittlefeetingoldensandalspeepingoutfromunderthehemofthesilkengown,and----"

"Butwhataboutthemarksoftravel?"askedLeppie.

"Donkey!haven'tIsaidtheyweren'tthere?IfIsaytheyweren't,thentheyweren't.Shehadn'ttravelledatall."

"Oh,parrakeets!"criedlittleFrank.

Fourpairsofeyeswentuptothebrightgreenflockthatwaspassingoverthegarden.

"Nowyou'veallinterrupted,andIshan'ttellanymore,"saidLaurainaproudvoice.

"Oh,yes,pleasedo,WondrousFair!Tellwhathappenednext,"beggedPinandLeppie.

"No,notanotherword.Youcanonlythinkofsheetsandparrakeets."

"Please,WondrousFair,"beggedlittleFrank.

"No,Ican'tnow.--Anotherthing:Idon'tmindifyoucallmeLaurato-day,asit'sthelastday."



Shelaybackonthegrass,herhandsclaspedunderherhead.Avoicewasheard,loud,imperative.

"Laura,Iwantyou.Comehere."

"That'smothercalling,"saidPin.

Laurakickedherheels.Thetwolittleboyslaughedapproval.

"Goon,Laura,"coaxedPin."Mother'llbeangry.I'llcome,too."

Lauraraisedherselfwithagrumble."It'stotryonthathorriddress."

InveryfactMotherwasstanding,alreadysomewhatimpatient,withthedressinherhand.Laurawriggledoutoftheoneshehadon,andstoodstifflyandungraciously,withherarmsheldlikepokersfromhersides,whileMotheronherkneesarrangedthelength.

"Don'tputonafacelikethat,miss!"shesaidsharplyonseeingLaura'sair."DoyouthinkI'mmakingitformyownpleasure?"Shehadsewnatitallday,andwashotandtired.

"It'stooshort,"saidLaura,lookingdown.

"It'snothingofthekind,"saidMother,withhermouthfullofpins.

"Itis,it'smuchtooshort."

Mothergaveheraslightshake."Don'tyoucontradictME!DoyouwanttotellmeIdon'tknowwhatlengthyou'retowearyourdresses?"

"Iwon'twearitatallifyoudon'tmakeitlonger,"saidLauradefiantly.

Pin'schubby,featurelesslittlefacelengthenedwithapprehension.

"Doletherhaveitjustatinybitlonger,motherdear,dear!"shepleaded.

"Now,Pin,whathaveyougottodowithitI'dliketoknow!"saidMother,onthevergeoflosinghertemperoverthebackfolds,whichWOULDnothang.

"I'mgoingtoschoolto-morrow,andit'sashame,"saidLaurainthelow,passionatetonethatneverfailedtoexasperateMother,sodifferentwasitfromherownheartyfashionofventingdispleasure.Pinbegantosniff,insheernervousanxiety.

"Verywellthen,Iwon'tdoanotherstitchtoit!"andMother,nowangry

inearnest,gotupandbouncedoutoftheroom.

"Laura,howcanyou?"saidPin,dissolving."It'sonlyyouwhomakehersocross."

"Idon'tcare,"saidLaurarebelliously,thoughshewasnotfarofftearsherself."ItISashame.Alltheothergirlswillhavedressesdowntothetopsoftheirboots,andthey'lllaughatme,andcallmea[P.4]baby;"andtouchedbythethoughtofwhatlaybeforeher,she,too,begantosniffle.Shedidnotfail,however,torollthedressupandto



throwituntoacorneroftheroom.Shealsokickedtheewer,whichfelloverandfloodedthefloor.Pincriedmoreloudly,andrantofetchSarah.

Laurareturnedtothegarden.Thetwolittleboyscameuptoher;butshewavedthemback.

"Letmealone,children.Iwanttothink."

Shestoodinabecomingattitudebythegarden-gate,herbrothershoveringinthebackground.--ThenMothercalledoncemore.

"Laura,whereareyou?"

"Here,mother.Whatisit?"

"DidyouknockthisjugoverordidPin?"

"Idid,mother."

"Didyoudoitonpurpose?"

"Yes."

"Comeheretome."

Shewent,withlaggingsteps.ButMother'sangerhadpassed:shewasatworkonthedressagain,andbysquintinghereyesLauracouldseethatapiecewasbeingaddedtotheskirt.Shewaspenitentatonce;andwhenMotherinasorryvoicesaid:"I'mashamedofyou,Laura.Andonyourlastday,too,"herthroatgrewnarrow.

"Ididn'tmeanit,mother."

"Ifonlyyouwouldaskproperlyforthings,youwouldgetthem."

Lauraknewthis;knewindeedthat,didshecoax,Mothercouldrefuseher

nothing.Butcoaxingcamehardtoher;somethingwithinherforbadeit.Sarahcalledher"high-stomached",tothedelightoftheotherchildrenandherownindignation;shehadexplainedtothemagainandagainwhatSarahreallymeant.

Onleavingthehouseshewentstraighttotheflower-beds:shewouldgiveMother,wholikedflowersverywellbuthadnotimetogatherthem,abouquetthesizeofacabbage.Pinandtheboysweresummonedtohelpher,andwhentheirhandswerefull,Lauraledthewaytoasecludedpartofthegardenonthefarthersideofthedetachedbrickkitchen.Inthisstrip,whichwasfilledwithgreenery,littlesunfell:twothickfirtreesandamonstrousblue-gumstoodthere;highbushesscreenedthefence;jessamineclimbedthewallofthehouseandencircledthebedroom

windows;andonthedampandshadygroundonlyvioletsgrew.Yet,withthelovechildrenbeartothelimitedandcompact,thefourhadchosentheirownlittleplotshereratherthaninthebiggardenatthebackofthehouse;andmanywerethetimestheyhadallbegunanewtodigandtorake.ButifLaura'senergydidnotfizzleoutasquicklyasusual--shewasthemodelfortherest--Motherwassuretodiscoverthatitwastoocrampedanddarkfortheminthere,andsendSarahtodrivethemoff.

Here,safelyscreenedfromsight,Laurasatonabenchandmadeupherbouquet.Whenitwasfinished--redandwhiteinthecentrewitha



darkerborder,thewholesurroundedbyaringofvioletleaves--shelookedaboutforsomethingtotieitupwith.Sarah,appliedto,wasbusyironing,andhadnostringinthekitchen,soPinrantogetareelofcotton.ButwhileshewasawayLaurahadanidea.BiddingLeppieholdtheflowerstightinbothhisstickylittlehands,sheclimbedinatherbedroomwindow,orrather,bylyingonthesillwithherlegswavingintheair,shemanagedtograb,withoutlosingherbalance,apairofscissorsfromthechestofdrawers.Withthesebetweenherteethsheemerged,totheexcitedinterestoftheboyswhowatchedheropen-mouthed.

Laurahaddarkcurls,Pinfair,andbothworethemflappingattheirbacks,theonlydifferencebeingthatLaura,whowasnowtwelveyearsold,hadforthepastyearbeenallowedtobindherstogetherwitharibbon,whilePin'sbobbedastheychose.Everymorningearly,Motherbrushedandtwisted,withakindofgrimpride,thesesilkyringletsroundherfinger.AlthoughthefiveoddminutesthecurlingoccupiedwereduranceviletoLaura,thechildwasproudofherhairinherownway;andwheninthestreetsheheardsomeonesay:"Look--whatprettycurls!"shewouldgiveherheadatossandsendthemalla-rippling.Inadditiontothis,therewasacrowninggloryconnectedwiththem:onehotDecembermorning,whentheyhadbeentangledandMotherhadkeptherstandingtoolong,shehadfainted,pullingthewholedressing-tabledownaboutherears;andeversince,shehadbeenmarkedoffinsome

mysteriousfashionfromtheotherchildren.Motherwouldnotlethergooutatmiddayinsummer:Sarahwouldsay:"Letthatbe,can'tyou!"didshetrytoliftsomethingthatwastooheavyforher;andtheyoungerchildrenweretobequelledbyathreattofaintonthespot,iftheydidnotdoasshewished."Laura'sfaint"hadbecomeabywordinthefamily;andLauraherselfhelditforsoimportantafactinherlifethatshehadmorethanoncebegunafriendshipwiththewords:"Haveyoueverfainted?Ihave."

Fromamongtheselong,glossycurls,shenowcutoneofthelongestandmostspiral,cutitoffclosetotheroot,andwithitboundtheflowerstogether.Mothershouldseethatshedidknowhowtogiveupsomethingshecaredfor,andwasnotasselfishasshewasusuallysupposedtobe.

"Oh..h..h!"saidbothlittleboysinabreath,thendoubledupinnoisymirth.Laurawasconstantlydoingsomethingtosettheiryoungbloodinamazement:theylookeduponherasthepersonificationofallthatwasstartlingandunexpected.ButPin,returningwiththereelofthread,openedhereyesinadifferentway.

"Oh,Laura...!"shebegan,tearfulatonce.

"Now,res'vor!"retortedLaurascornfully--"res'vor"wasSarah'snameforPin,onaccountofherperpetualwateriness."Beacry-baby,do."Butshewasnotdamped,shewaslostinthepleasureofself-sacrifice.

Pinlookedafterherasshedancedoff,thenmovedsubmissivelyinherwaketobenearathandshouldintercessionbeneeded.Laurawassounsuspecting,andMotherwouldbesocross.Inherdim,childishwayPinlongedtoseethese,hertwonearest,atpeace;sheunderstoodthembothsowell,andtheyhadlittleornounderstandingforeachother.--Soshecrepttothehouseathersister'sheels.

Lauradidnotgoindoors;hidingagainstthewalloftheflaggedverandah,shethrewherbouquetinatthewindow,meaningittofallonMother'slap.



ButMotherhaddroppedherneedle,andwasjustliftingherface,flushedwithstooping,whentheflowershitherathwackonthehead.Shegropedagain,impatiently,tofindwhathadstruckher,recognisedthepeace-offering,andthoughtofthesurprisecakethatwastogointoLaura'sboxonthemorrow.Thenshesawthecurl,andherfacedarkened.Wasthereeversuchatiresomechild?Whatinalltheworldwouldshedonext?

"Laura,comehere,directly!"

Laurahadmovedaway;shewasnotexpectingrecognition.IfMotherwerepleasedshewouldcallPintoputtheflowersinwaterforher,andthatwouldbetheendofit.TheideaofawordofthankswouldhavemadeLaurafeeluncomfortable.Now,however,atthetoneofMother'svoice,hermouthsetstubbornly.Shewentindoorsasbidden,butwasalreadyupinarmsagain.

"You'reaverynaughtygirlindeed!"beganMotherassoonsheappeared."Howdareyoucutoffyourhair?Uponmyword,ifitweren'tyourlastnightI'dsendyoutobedwithoutanysupper!"--anunheard-ofthreatonthepartofMother,whopunishedherchildreninanywaybutthatofdenyingthemtheirfood."It'saverygoodthingyou'releavinghometo-morrow,foryou'dsoonbesettingtheothersatdefiance,too,

andIshouldhavefournaughtychildrenonmyhandsinsteadofone.--ButI'dbeashamedtogotoschoolsuchafrightifIwereyou.Turnroundatonceandletmeseeyou!"

Lauraturned,withasinkingheart.Pincriedsoftlyinacorner.

"Shethoughtitwouldpleaseyou,mother,"shesobbed.

"IWILLnothaveyouinterfering,Pin,whenI'mspeakingtoLaura.She'soldenoughbynowtoknowwhatIlikeandwhatIdon't,"saidMother,whowasvexedatthethoughtofthechildgoingamongstrangersthusdisfigured.--"Andnowgetaway,anddon'tletmeseeyouagain.You'reaperfectsight."

"Oh,Laura,youdolookfunny!"saidLeppieandFrankinweakchorus,asshepassedtheminthepassage.

"Well,you'avemadeaguyofyourselfthistime,MissLaura,andnomistake!"saidSarah,whohadheardtheabove.

Laurawentintoherownroomandlockedthedoor,athingMotherdidnotallow.Thenshethrewherselfonthebedandcried.Motherhadnotunderstoodintheleast;andshehadmadeherselfasightintothebargain.Sherefusedtoopenthedoor,thoughoneafteranotherrattledthehandle,andSarahthreatenedtoturnthehoseinatthewindow.Sotheyleftheralone,andshespenttheeveninginwaterydudgeononher

pillow.ButbeforesheundressedforthenightshestealthilymadeachinkandtookinthesliceofcakePinhadleftonthedoor-mat.Hernaturalbuoyancyofspiritwasbeginningtoreassertitself.Bybrushingherhairwelltoonesideshecouldcoverupthegap,shefound;andafterall,therewassomethingratherpleasantinknowingthatyouweremisunderstood.Itmadeyoufeeldifferentfromeveryoneelse.

Mother--sewinghardaftereventhebusySarahhadretired--Mothersmiledasternlittlesmileofamusementtoherself;andbeforelockingupforthenightputthedarkcurlsafelyaway.



II.

Laura,sleepingflatonherstomach,wasrousednextmorningbyPinwhosaid:

"Wakeup,WondrousFair,motherwantstospeaktoyou.Shesaysyoucangetintobedinmyplace,beforeyoudress."PinsleptwarmandcosyatMother'sside.

Lauraroseonherelbowandlookedathersister:Pinwasstandinginthedoorwayholdinghernightgowntoher,insuchawayastoexposeallofherthinlittlelegs.

"Comeon,"urgedPin."Sarah'sgoingtogivememybathwhileyou'rewithmother."

"Goaway,Pin,"saidLaurasnappily."ItoldyouyesterdayyoucouldsayLaura,and...andyou'remorelikeaspiderthanever."

"Spider"wasanothernicknameforPin,owedtoherrotundlittlebodyandmeresticksoflegs--shewas"allbelly"asSarahputit--andthemerementionofitmadePinfly;forshewasverytouchyaboutherlegs.

Assoonasthedoorclosedbehindher,Laurasprangoutofbedand,waitingneithertowashherselfnortosayherprayers,begantopullonherclothes,confusingstringsandbuttonsinherhaste,andquiteforgettingthatonthiseventfulmorningshehadmeanttodressherselfwithmorethanordinarycare.ShewasjustlacinghershoeswhenSarahlookedin.

"Why,MissLaura,don'tyouknowyourmawantsyou?"

"It'stoolate.I'mdressednow,"saidLauradarkly.

Sarahshookherhead."Missis'llbefinean'angry.An'youneedn't'ave'adarowonyourlastday."

Laurastoleoutofthedoorandrandownthegardentothesummer-house.This,thesizeofagoodlyroom,wasformedofasingledense,hairy-leafedtree,roundthetrunkofwhichaseatwasbuilt.Hereshecowered,herelbowsonherknees,herchininherhands.Herfaceworethestiffexpressionthatwentbythenameof"Laura'ssulks,"buthereyeswerebig,andaswatchfulasthoseofascaredanimal.IfSarahcametofetchhershewouldholdontotheseatwithbothhands.But

evenifshehadtoyieldtoSarah'sgreaterstrength--well,atleastshewasupanddressed.Notlikethelasttime--aboutaweekagoMotherhadtriedthiskindofthing.Then,shehadbeencaughtunawares.ShehadgoneintoPin'swarmplace,curiousandunsuspecting,andthereuponMotherhadbeguntotalkseriouslytoher,andnotwithherusualdirectness.ShehadremindedLaurathatshewasgrowingupapaceandwouldsoonbeawoman;hadtoldherthatshemustnowbegintogiveupchildishhabits,andlearntobehaveinamodestandwomanlyway--alldisagreeable,disturbingthings,whichLauradidnotintheleastwanttohear.Whenitbecamecleartoherwhatitwasabout,shehadthrown



backthebedclothesandescapedfromtheroom.AndsincethenshehadbeencarefulnevertobelongalonewithMother.

Butnowhalfanhourwentbyandnoonecametofetchher:hergrimlittlefacerelaxed.Shefeltveryhungry,too,andwhenatlengthsheheardPincalling,shejumpedupandbetrayedherhiding-place.

"Laura!Laura,whereareyou?Mothersaystocometobreakfastandnotbesilly.Thecoach'llbehereinanhour."

Takinghandsthesistersrantothehouse.

Inthepassage,Sarahwasbusyropingabatteredtinbox.Withtheirownhandsthelittleboyshadbeenallowedtopasteonthisabigsheetofnotepaper,whichbore,inMother'swriting,thewords:

MissLauraTweedleRambothamTheLadies'CollegeMelbourne.

Motherherselfwasstandingatthebreakfast-tablecuttingsandwiches.

"Comeandeatyourbreakfast,child,"wasallshesaidatthemoment."Thetea'squitecold."

Laurasatdownandfelltowithappetite,butalsowithaside-glanceat

thegenerouspileofbreadandmeatgrowingunderMother'shands.

"Ishallnevereatallthat,"shesaidungraciously;itgalledherstilltobeconsideredagreedychildwithaninsatiablestomach.

"Iknowbetterthanyoudowhatyou'lleat,"saidMother."You'llbehungryenoughbythiseveningIcantellyou,notgettinganydinner."

Pin'sfacefellatthisprospect."Oh,mother,won'tshereallygetanydinner?"sheasked:andtohersoftlittleheartgoingtoschoolbegantoseemoneoftheblackestexperienceslifeheld.

"Why,she'llbeinthetrain,stupid,'owcanshe?"saidSarah."Doyou

thinktrainsgiveyoudinners?"

"Oh,mother,pleasecuteversuchalot!"beggedPinsniffingvaliantly.

Laurabegantofeelsomewhatmovedherselfatthissolicitude,andchokeddownalumpinherthroatwithagulpoftea.ButwhenPinhadgonewithSarahtopicksomenectarines,Mother'sfacegrewstern,andLaura'semotionpassed.

"IfeelmoretroubledaboutyouthanIcansay,Laura.Idon'tknowhowyou'llevergetoninlife--you'resodisobedientandself-willed.Itwouldserveyouverywellright,I'msure,fornotcomingthismorning,ifIdidn'tgiveyouapennyofpocket-moneytotaketoschool."

Laurahadheardthisthreatbefore,andthoughtitwisernottoreply.Gobblinguptherestofherbreakfastsheslippedaway.

Withtheotherchildrenatherheelsshemadearoundofthegarden,biddinggood-byetothingsandplaces.Therewerethetwosummer-housesinwhichshehadplayedhouse;inwhichshehadcookedandeatenandslept.Therewasthetallfir-treewiththerung-likebranchesbywhichshehadbeenaccustomedtoclimbtotheverytree-top;therewasthewildernessofbambooandcanewhereshehadbeenCrusoe;theancient,



broadleavedcactusonwhichshehadscratchedtheirnamesanddrawntheirportraits;here,thehighaloethathadsuchamysteriouscharmforyou,becauseyouneverknewwhenthehundredyearsmightexpireandthealoeburstintoflower.Hereagainwastheoldfigtreewiththerounded,polishedboughs,fromwhich,seatedasinacradle,shehadplayedJuliettoPin'sRomeo,andviceversa--butoftenestJuliet:forthoughLauragreatlypreferredtobetheardentloveratthefoot,Pinwasbutapoorclimber,and,assheclungtremblingtoherbranch,neededsomuchpromptinginherlines--eventhentorepeatthemwithsuchfeebleemphasis--thatLaurainvariablylostpatiencewithherandthelove-sceneendedinasquabble.Passingbehindawoodenfencewhichwasatangleofpassion-flower,sheopenedthedoorofthefowl-house,andoutstruttedthemother-henfollowedbyherprettybrood.Laurahadgiveneachofthechicksaname,andshenowtookNapoleonandGaribaldiupinherhandandlaidhercheekagainsttheirdownybreasts,theyoungerchildrenfollowinghermovementsinrespectfulsilence.Betweenthebarsoftherabbithutchshethrustenoughgreenstufftolastthetwolittleoccupantsfordays;andeverywhereshewentshewasaccompaniedbyaleglessmagpie,which,inspiteofitsinfirmity,hoppedcheerilyandquicklyonitsstumps.Laurahadrescueditandrearedit;itfollowedherlikeadog;andshewasonlylessdevotedtoitthanshehadbeentoanativebearwhichdiedunderherhands.

"Nowlisten,children,"shesaidassherosefromherkneesbeforethe

hutch."Ifyoudon'tlookwellafterMaggyandthebunnies,Idon'tknowwhatI'lldo.Thechicks'llbeallright.Sarah'lltakecareofthem,'causeoftheeggs.ButMaggyandthebunniesdon'thaveeggs,andifthey'renotfed,orifFranktreadsonMaggyagain,thenthey'lldie.Nowifyouletthemdie,Idon'tknowwhatI'lldotoyou!Yes,Ido:I'llsendthedeviltoyouatnightwhentheroom'sdark,beforeyougotosleep.--Sothere!"

"Howcanyouifyou'renothere?"askedLeppie.

Pin,however,whobelievedinghostsandapparitionswithallherfearfullittleheart,promisedtremulouslynever,nevertoforget;butLaurawasnotsatisfieduntileachoftheminturnhadrepeated,ina

lowvoice,withtheappropriategestures,thesacredsecret,andforbiddenformula:

Ismyfingerwet?Ismyfingerdry?God'llstrikemedead,IfItellalie.

ThenSarah'svoicewasheardcalling,andtheboyswentoutintotheroadtowatchforthecoach.Laura'sdressingprovedalengthybusiness,andwasaccomplishedamidbustle,andscolding,andlittlepeace-making

wordsfromPin;forinherhurrythatmorningLaurahadforgottentoputonthecleanlinenMotherhadlaidbesidethebed,andconsequentlyhadnowtostriptotheskin.

Theboysannouncedthecomingofthecoachwithshrillcries,andsimultaneouslytherumbleofwheelswasheard.Sarahcamefromthekitchendryingherhands,andPinbegantocry.

"Now,shutup,res'vor!"saidSarahroughly:herowneyesweremoist."Youdon'tseeMissLaurabesuchasilly-billy.Anyone'udthink



youwasgoin',not'er."

Theramshackleoldvehicle,oneofCobb'sRoyalMailCoaches,big-bodied,lumbering,scarlet,pulledbytwostouthorses,drewupbeforethedoor,andthedriverclimbeddownfromhisseat.

"Nowgooddaytoyou,ma'am,goodday,miss"--thistoSarahwho,pickingupthebox,handedittohimtobestrappedonundertheapron."Well,well,andsothelittlegirl'sgoin'toschool,isshe?My,buttimeflies!WelldoIrememberthedayma'am,whenIdroveyouallacrossforthefirsttime.Thesechildrenwasn'tbigenoughthentogitupanddownbethimselves.NowIwarrantyoutheycan--justlookat'em,willyou?--Butmy!Ain'tyouashamedofyourself"--hespoketoPin--"pipin'youreyelikethat?Why,you'llfloodtheroadifyoudon'thouldon.--Yes,yes,ma'am,blessyou,I'lllookafterher,andputherinterthetrainwidmeownhan's.Don'tyoubeoneasy.TheLordhecaresforthewidderandtheorphun,andifHedon't,whyPatrickO'Donnelldoes."

ThiswasO'Donnell'sstandingjoke;heuttereditwithaloudchuckle.Whilespeakinghehadletdownthestepsandhelpedthethreechildrenup--theyweretoridewithLauratotheoutskirtsofthetownship.Thelittleboysgiggledexcitedlyathisassertionthatthehorseswouldnotbeequaltotheweight.OnlyPinwepton,inundiminishedgrief.

"Now,MissLaura."

"Now,Laura.Good-bye,darling.Anddotryandbegood.Andbesureyouwriteonceaweek.Andtellmeeverything.Whetheryouarehappy--andifyougetenoughtoeat--andifyouhaveenoughblanketsonyourbed.Andrememberalwaystochangeyourbootsifyougetyourfeetwet.Anddon'tleanoutofthewindowinthetrain."

ForsometimepastLaurahadhadneedofallherself-control,nottocrybeforethechildren.Asthehourdrewnearithadgrownharderandharder;whiledressing,shehadresortedtocountingthenumberoftimestheprofileofaRomanemperorappearedintheflowers

onthewallpaper.Nowtheworstmomentofallwascome--themomentofgood-bye.ShedidnotlookatPin,butsheheardhertireless,snufflyweeping,andsetherownlipstight.

"Yes,mother...no,mother,"sheansweredshortly,"I'llbeallright.Good-bye."Shecouldnot,however,restrainakindofdrysob,whichjumpedupherthroat.

WhenshewasinthecoachSarah,whomshehadforgottenclimbeduptokissher;andtherewassomejokingbetweenO'Donnellandtheservantwhilethestepswerebeingfoldedandputaway.Lauradidnotsmile;herthinlittlefacewasverypale.Mother'sheartwentouttoherinapitywhichshedidnotknowhowtoexpress.

"Don'tforgetyoursandwiches.Andwhenyou'realone,feelinthepocketofyourulsterandyou'llfindsomethingnice.Good-bye,darling."

"Good-bye...good-bye."

Thedriverhadmountedtohisseat,heunwoundthereinscried"Getup!"tothetwoburlyhorses,thevehiclewassetinmotionandtrundleddownthemainstreet.UntilitturnedthecornerbytheShireGardens,Lauraletherhandkerchiefflyfromthewindow.Sarahwavedhers;thenwiped



hereyesandlustilyblewhernose.Motheronlysighed.

"Itwasallshecoulddotokeepup,"shesaidasmuchtoherselfastoSarah."Idohopeshe'llbeallright.Sheseemssuchachildtobesendingofflikethis.YetwhatelsecouldIdo?ToaStateSchool,I'vealwayssaidit,mychildrenshallnevergo--notifIhavetobegthemoneytosendthemelsewhere."

Butshesighedagain,inspiteoftheenergyofherwords,andstoodgazingattheplacewherethecoachhaddisappeared.Shewasstillacomparativelyyoungwoman,andstraightofbody;buttrouble,povertyandnight-watcheshadscoredmanylinesonherforehead.

"Don'tyouworry,"saidSarah."MissLaura'llbeallright.She'sjustabittooclever--brainsfortwo,that'swhatitis.An'childrenWILLgrowupan'getbig...an'changetheirfeathers."Shespokeabsently,drawinghermetaphorfromabroodofchickenswhichhadstrayedacrosstheroad,andwasnowtryingtomountthewoodenverandah-"Shooh!Getawaywithyou!"

"Iknowthat.ButLaura--Theotherchildrenhavenevergivenmeamoment'sworry.ButLaura'sdifferent.Iseemtogetlessandlessabletomanageher.Ifonlyherfatherhadbeenalivetohelp!"

"I'msurenofatherlivin'coulddomorethanyouforthoseblessedchildren,"saidSarahwithimpatience."Youthinkofnothin'else.It'udbeagreatdealbetterifyoutookmorecareo'yourself.Yousitupnightsan'don'tgetnopropersleepslavin'awayatthatblessedembroid'ryan'stuff,soasMissLauracangetofftoschoolan'to'erbooks.An'thenyouwanttoworryover'eraswell.--She'llbeallright.MissLaura'slikepeas.You'vegottoget'emouterthepod--they'reintheresureenough.An'b'sidesIguessschool'llknockallthenonsenseoutof'er."

"Oh,Ihopetheywon'tbetoohardonher,"saidMotherinquickalarm.-"Shutthesidegate,willyou.Thosechildrenhaveleftitopenagain.--And,Sarah,Ithinkwe'llturnoutthedrawing-room."

Sarahgruntedtoherselfasshewenttoclosethegate.Thishadnotenteredintoherschemeofworkfortheday,andhercookingwasstillundone.Butshedidnotgainsayhermistress,assheotherwisewouldhavemadenoscrupleofdoing;forsheknewthatnothingwasmorehelpfultothelatterinacrisisthanhard,manualwork.Besides,Sarahherselfhadasneakingweaknessforwhatshecalled"dra'in'-roomdays".Forthedrawing-roomwasthestorehouseofwhattreasureshadremainedoverfromapastprosperity.Itwascrowdedwithbric-a-bracandornament;andashermistresstooktheseobjectsuponebyone,todustandpolishthem,shewould,ifshewereinagoodhumour,tellSarahwhereandhowtheyhadbeenbought,ordescribetheplacestheyhadoriginallycomefrom:sothatSarah,pausingbroominhandtolisten,

hadwithtimegatheredsomevagueideasofacountrylike"Inja",forexample,whencecamethelittlesilver"pagody",andtheexpressionlessbrassgodwhosquattedvacantlyandatease.

III.



AslongasthecoachrolleddownthemainstreetLaurasatboltuprightatthewindow.InfancysheheardpeopletellingoneanotherthatthiswaslittleMissRambothamgoingtoschool.ShewasparticularlygladthatjustastheywentpasttheCommercialHotel,MissPerrotet,thelandlord'sred-haireddaughter,shouldputherfuzzyheadoutofthewindow--forMissPerrotethadalsobeentoboarding-school,andthoughtveryhighlyofherselfinconsequence,thoughithadonlybeenforayear,tofinish.AttheNationalBankthemanager'swifewavedafriendlyhandtothechildren,andattheRoyalMailHotelwheretheydrewupforpassengersorcommissions,Mrs.Paget,thestoutlandlady,cameout,smoothingdownherblacksatinapron.

"Well,I'msureIwonderyourmalikessendin'youoffsoalone."

TheridehadcomfortedPinalittle;butwhentheyhadpassedthechiefstoresandtheflour-mill,andwerecometoapartoftheroadwherethehouseswerefewer,hertearsbrokeoutafresh.Theverylasthousewasleftbehind,thehighmachineryoftheclaimscameintoview,thewateryflatswhereChinamenwereforeverrockingwashdirtincradles;andO'Donnelldismountedandopenedthedoor.Heliftedthethreeoutonebyone,shakinghisheadinhumorousdismayatPin,andaslittleFrankshowedsighsofbeginning,too,bypuckeringuphisfaceand[P.22]doublinguphisbody,thekindlymantriedtomakethemlaughbyasking

ifhehadthestomach-ache.Laurahadonemoreglimpseofthechildrenstandinghandinhand--eveninhertroublePindidnotforgethercharges--thenasharpbendintheroadhidthemfromhersight.

Shewasaloneinthecapaciousbodyofthecoach,alone,andtheproudexcitementofpartingwasover.Thestaunchlyrepressedtearswelledupwithagush,andflingingherselfdownacrosstheseatshecriedbitterly.ItwasnotachildishlyirresponsiblegrieflikePin's:itwasmorepassionate,andwentdeeper;andheroverloadedfeelingsweresoonrelieved.Butasshewasnotusedtocrying,shemissedthemomentatwhichshemighthavecheckedherself,andwentonsheddingtearsaftertheyhadbecomealuxury.

"Why,goodnessgracious,what'sthis?"criedaloud,cheerfulandastonishedvoice,andafat,rosyfacebeamedinonLaura."Why,here'salittlegirlinhere,cryin'fittobreak'erheart.Come,come,mydear,what'sthematter?Don'tcrylikethat,nowdon't."

Thecoachhadstopped,thedooropenedandastoutwomanclimbedin,bearingabigbasket,andfollowedbyayoungmanwithstraw-colouredwhiskers.Laurasatuplikeadartandpulledherhatstraight,crimsonwithmortificationatbeingdiscoveredinsuchaplight.Shehadinstantlycurbedhertears,butshecouldnotdisguisethefactthatshehadredeyesandaswollennose--thatshewasinshortwhatSarahcalled"allbungedup".Shemadenoreplytothenewcomer'sexclamations,butsatclutchingherhandkerchiefandstaringoutofthewindow.

Thewoman'sgood-naturedcuriosity,however,wasnottobedone.

"Youpoorlittlething,you!"shepersisted."Whereverareyougoin',mydear,soalone?"

"I'mgoingtoboarding-school,"saidLaura,andshotaglanceatthecoupleopposite.

"Toboardin'-school?Peter!D'youhear?--Why,whatever'syourmathinkin'oftosendsuchalittlechickasyoutoboardin'-school?...



andsoalone,too."

Laura'sfacetookonacuriousairofdignity.

"I'mnotsoverylittle,"sheanswered;andwentontoexplain,inphraseswhichshehadheardsooftenthatsheknewthembyheart:"Onlysmallformyage.Iwastwelveinspring.AndIhavetogotoschool,becauseI'velearntallIcanathome."

Thisfailedtoimpressthewoman.

"Snakesalive!--that'syoungenoughinallconscience.Andsuchadelicatelittlecreature,too.Justlikethatoneo'SamMacFarlane'sthatpoppedofflastChristmas--isn'tshe,Peter?"

Peter,whoavoidedlookingatLaura,sheepishlymumbledsomethingaboutlikeenoughshewas.

"AndwhoISyourma,mydear?What'syourname?"continuedherinterrogator.

Laurarepliedpolitely;buttherewasareserveinhermannerwhich,togetherwiththenameshegave,toldenough:thewidow,Laura'smother,hadthereputationofbeingvery"stuck-up",andofbringingupher

childreninthesameway.

ThewomandidnotpressLaurafurther;shewhisperedsomethingbehindherhandtoPeter,thensearchinginherbasketfoundalarge,redapple,whichsheheldoutwithanencouragingnodandsmile.

"Here,mydear.Here'ssomethingforyou.Don'tcryanymore,don'tnow.It'llbeallright."

Laura,whowaswellawarethatshehadnotshedatearsincethecoupleenteredthecoach,coloureddeeply,andmadeamovement,halfshy,halfunwilling,toputherhandsbehindher.

"Ohno,thankyou,"shesaidinextremeembarrassment,notwishingtohurtthegiver'sfeelings."Motherdoesn'tcareforustotakethingsfromstrangers."

"Blesshersoul!"criedthestoutwomaninamaze."It'sonlyanapple!Now,mydear,justyoutakeit,andmakeyourmindeasy.Yourmawouldn'thavenothin'againstitto-day,I'msureo'that--goin'awaysofarandallsoalonelikethis.--It'ssweetandjuicy."

"It'sMelb'myou'llbeboun'forIdessay?"saidtheyellow-hairedPetersosuddenlythatLaurastarted.

Sheconfirmedthis,andlethersolemneyesrestonhimwonderingwhyhe

wassoredandfidgetyanduncomfortable.Thewomansaid:"Tch,tch,tch!"atthelengthofthejourneyLaurawasundertaking,andPeter,growingstillredder,volunteeredanotherremark.

"Iwasnightobein'inMelb'moncemeself,"hesaid.

"Aye,andhecan'tneverforgetit,thesillyloon,"threwinthewoman,butsogood-naturedlythatitwasimpossible,Laurafelt,forPetertotakeoffence.



Shegazedatthepair,speculatingupontherelationtheystoodintoeachother.Shehadobedientlyputoutherhandfortheapple,andnowsatholdingit,withoutattemptingtoeatit.IthadnotbeenMother'spreceptsalonethathadweighedwithherindecliningit;shewasmortifiedattheideaofbeingbribed,asitwere,tobegood,justasthoughshewerePinoroneofthelittleboys.Itwasapunishmentonherforhavingbeensobabyishastocry;hadshenotbeencaughtintheact,thewomanwouldneverhaveventuredtobesofamiliar.--Theverylargenessandrosinessofthefruitmadeithatefultoher,andsheturnedoverinhermindhowshecouldgetridofit.

Asthecoachbumpedalong,herfellow-passengerssatbackandshuttheireyes.Theroadwasshadeless;beneaththehorses'feetathickreddustroselikesmoke.Thegrassbythewayside,underthescatteredgumtreesorroundthebigblackbouldersthatdottedthehillocks,wasburnttostraw.Intime,Lauraalsogrewdrowsy,andshewasjustfallingintoadozewhen,withajerk,thecoachpulledupatthe"HalfwayHouse."Herehercompanionsalighted,andthereweremorenodsandsmilesfromthewoman.

"Youeatit,mydear.I'msureyourmawon'tsaynothin',"washerlastremarkasshepushedtheswing-doorandvanishedintothehouse,followedbyPeter.

Thenthedriver'spleasantfaceappearedatthewindowofthecoach.Inonehandheheldaglass,intheotherabottleoflemonade.

"Here,littlewoman,haveadrink.It'swarmworkridin'."

Nowthiswasquitedifferentfromthematteroftheapple.Laura'sthroatwasparchedwithdustandtears.Sheacceptedtheoffergratefully,thinkingasshedrankhowenviousPinwouldbe,couldsheseeherdrinkingbottle-lemonade.

Thenthejoltingandrumblingbegananew.Nooneelsegotin,andwhentheyhadpassedtheonlytwolandmarkssheknew--theleprousChinaman'shutandthemarketgardenofAhChow,whotwiceaweekjauntedata

half-trottothetownshipwithhishangingbaskets,tosupplypeoplewithvegetables--whentheyhadpassedthese,Laurafellasleep.Shewakenedwithastarttofindthatthecoachhadhaltedtoapplythebrakes,atthetopoftheprecipitoushillthatleddowntotherailwaytownship.Inatwo-wheeledbuggythiswasanexcitingdescent;butthecoachjammedonbothitsbrakes,movedlikeasnail,andseemedhardlyabletocrawl.

Atthefootofthehillthelittletownlaysluggishinthesun.Althoughitwascloseonmidday,butfewpeoplewereastirinthestreets;fortheplacehadlongsinceceasedtobeanimportantminingcentre:thechiefclaimswereworkedout;andthecomingoftherailwayhadbeenpowerlesstogiveittheimpetustoanewlife.Itwasalways

likethisinthesestreetsoflow,verandahed,red-brickhouses,alwaysdullandsleepy,andsuchanimationastherewas,wasinvariablytobefoundbeforethedoorsofthemanypublic-houses.

Atoneofthesethecoachstoppedandunloadeditsgoods,foraninterminabletime.PeoplecameandlookedinatthewindowatLaura,andshewasbeginningtofeelalarmedlestO'Donnell,whohadgoneinside,hadforgottenallaboutherhavingtocatchthetrain,whenouthecame,wipinghislips.



"Nowforthelivin'luggage!"hesaidwithawink,andLauradrewbackinconfusionfromthelaughterofagroupoflarrikinsroundthedoor.

Itwasindeedhightimeatthestation;nosoonerwasherboxdislodgedandhertickettakenthanthetrainsteamedin.O'Donnellrecommendedhertotheguard'scare;sheshookhandswithhimandthankedhim,andhadjustbeenlockedintoacarriagebyherselfwhenhecamerunningdowntheplatformagain,holdinginhishand,foreveryonetosee,theapple,whichLaurabelievedshehadsafelyhiddenunderthecushionsofthecoach.Redtotherootsofherhairshehadtoreceiveitbeforeanumberofheadsputouttoseewhatthematterwas,andshewasevenforcedtothankO'Donnellintothebargain.Thentheguardcamealongoncemore,andtoldherhewouldletnoonegetinbesideher:sheneednotbeafraid.

"Yes.AndwillyoupleasetellmewhenwecometoMelbourne."

Directlythetrainwasclearofthestation,sheloweredawindowand,takingaimatatelegraphpost,threwtheapplefromherwithallhermight.Thenshehungoutofthewindow,asfaroutasshecould,tillherhatwasnearlycarriedoff.Thiswasthefirstrailwayjourneyshehadmadebyherself,andtherewasanintoxicatingsenseoffreedominbeinglockedin,alone,withinthenarrowcompassofthecompartment.

Shewasatlibertytodoeverythingthathadpreviouslybeenforbiddenher:shewalkedupanddownthecarriage,jumpedfromoneseattoanother,thenlayflatonherbacksingingtoherself,andwatchingthetelegraphpolesflypastthewindows,andthewiresmountanddescend.--Butnowcameastationand,thoughthetraindidnotstop,shesatup,inorderthatpeoplemightseeshewastravellingalone.

Shegrewhungryandattackedherlunch,anditturnedoutthatMotherhadnotprovidedtoomuchafterall.Whenshehadfinished,hadbrushedherselfcleanofcrumbsandhandled,tillherfinger-tipsweresore,thepompoushalf-crownshehadfoundinherpocket,shefelltothinkingofthemathome,andofwhattheywouldnowbedoing.Itwasbetweentwoandthreeo'clock:thesunwouldbefullontheflagstonesoftheback

verandah;inchbyinchPinandLeppiewouldbedrivenawaytofindacoolerspotfortheirafternoongame,whilelittleFrankslept,andSarahsplashedthedinner-dishesinthebrick-flooredkitchen.Mothersatsewing,andshewouldstillbesittingthere,stillsewing,whentheshadowofthefirtree,whichatnoonwasshrunkenlikeadwarf,hadstretchedtogiantsize,andthechildrenhadopenedthefrontgatetoplayintheshadeofthepublicfootpath.--Atthethoughtoftheseshadows,ofallthefamiliarthingsshewouldnotseeagainformonthstocome,Laura'seyelidsbegantosmart.

Theyhadflashedthroughseveralstations;nowtheystopped;andhermindwasdivertedbythenoiseandbustle.Asthetrainswungintomotionagain,shefellintoapleasanterlineofthought.Shepaintedto

herself,forthehundredthtime,thenewlifetowardswhichshewasjourneying,and,asalways,inthebrightestcolours.

Shehadarrivedatschool,andinaspaciousapartment,whichwasakindofglorifiedMother'sdrawing-room,wasbeingintroducedtoabevyofgirls.Theyclusteredround,urgenttomaketheacquaintanceofthenewcomer,whogaveherhandtoeachwithaneasygraceandanappropriateword.Theyweretoowell-bredtocastaglanceatherclothes,which,howevershemightembellishtheminfancy,Lauraknewwerenotwhattheyoughttobe:herulsterwassomeyearsold,andso



shortthatitdidnotcovertheflounceofherdress,andthisdress,andherhatwithit,wereMother'staste,andconsequently,Laurafeltsure,nobodyelse's.Buthernewcompanionssawthatsheworetheseclotheswithanelegancethatmadeupfortheirshortcomings;andsheheardthemwhisper:"Isn'tshepretty?Whatblackeyes!Whatlovelycurls!"Butshewasnotproud,andbyherladylikemannerssoonmadethemfeelathomewithher,eventhoughtheystoodagapeathercleverness:noneofTHEMcouldclaimtohaveabsorbedtheknowledgeofawholehouse.Withoneofheradmirersshehadsoonformedafriendshipthatwasthewonderofallwhosawit:indeeprespecttheothersdrewback,formingakindofallee,downwhich,withlinkedarms,thetwofriendssauntered,blindtoeverythingbutthemselves.--Andhavingembarkedthusuponherseaofdreams,Laurasetsailandwasspeedilyborneaway.

"Nextstationyou'llbethere,littlegirl."

Shesprangupandlookedabouther,withvacanteyes.Thishadbeenthelaststoppage,andthetrainwaspassingthroughtheflats.Inlessthantwominutesshehadcollectedherbelongings,tidiedherhairandputonhergloves.

Sometimeafterwardstheysteamedinalongsideagravelledplatform,amongthestonesofwhichafewgrass-bladesgrew.Thiswas

Melbourne.Atthenearerendoftheplatformstoodtwoladies,onestoutandelderlyinbonnetandmantle,withglassesmountedonablackstick,andshortsighted,peeringeyes;theotherstoutandcomely,too,butyoung,withafat,laughingfaceandrosycheeks.Lauradescriedthemalongwayoff;and,asthecarriagesweptpastthem,theyalsosawher,eagerandprominentatherwindow.Bothstaredather,andtheyoungerladysaidsomething,andlaughed.Laurainstantlyconnectedtheremark,andtheamusementitcausedthespeaker,withtheshowyredliningofherhat,atwhichshebelievedtheireyeshadbeendirected.Shealsorealised,whenitwastoolate,thathergreetinghadbeenchildish,unnecessarilyeffusive;fortheladieshadrespondedonlybynods.Hereweretwothruststoparryatonce,andLaura'scheekstingled.Butshedidnotceasetosmile,andshewasstillwearingthisweaklittle

smile,whichdiditsbesttoseemeasyandunconcerned,whenshealightedfromthetrain.

IV.

TheelderlyladywasLaura'sgodmother;shelivedatPrahran,anditwasatherhousethatLaurawouldsometimesspendamonthlyholiday.Godmotherwasgoodtothemallinabrusque,sharp-tonguedfashion;but

Pinwasherespecialfavouriteandshemadenosecretofit.HercompanionontheplatformwasacousinofLaura's,ofatleasttwiceLaura'sage,whoinvariablystruckaweintothechildrenbyherloudandironicmannerofspeech.Shewasanindependent,manlyperson,inspiteofherplumproundnesses;shelivedbyherselfinlodgings,andearnedherownlivingasaclerkinanoffice.

Thefirstgreetingsover,Godmother'sattentionwasentirelytakenupbyLaura'sbox:afterthishadbeenpickedoutfromamongtheotherluggage,gravedoubtswereexpressedwhetheritcouldbegotontothe



backseatofthepony-carriage,towhichitwasconveyedbyaporterandtheboy.Laurastoodshylybyandwaited,whileCousinGracekeptuptheconversationbyputtingabruptandembarrassingquestions.

"How'syourma?"shedemandedratherthanasked,intheslangyandjoculartonesheemployed."Iguessshe'llbethankingherstarsshe'sgotridofyou;"atwhichLaurasmileduncertainly,notbeingsurewhetherCousinGracespokeinjestorearnest.

"Isupposeyouthinknoendofyourselfgoingtoboarding-school?"continuedthelatter.

"Ohno,notatall,"protestedLaurawithduemodesty;andasbothatquestionandanswerCousinGracelaughedboisterously,LaurawasgladtohearGodmothercalling:"Come,jumpin.Theponieswon'tstand."

Godmotherwasdrivingherself--alowbasket-carriage,harnessedtotwobuff-colouredponies.Laurasatwithherbacktothem.Godmotherflappedthereinsandsaid:"Getup!"butshewasstillfrettedaboutthebox,whichwasbeingheldonbehindbytheboy.Aninchlarger,sheasserted,anditwouldhavehadtobeleftbehind.Lauraeyeditsbatteredsidesuneasily.Godmothermightremember,shethought,thatitcontainedherwholewardrobe;andshewonderedhowmanyofGodmother'sownamplegownscouldbecompressedintososmallaspace.

"Allmyclothesareinside,"sheexplained;"thatIshallneedformonths."

"Ah,Iexpectyourpoormotherhassatupsewingherselftodeath,thatyoumaybeaswelldressedastherestofthem,"saidGodmother,andheavedadolefulsigh.ButCousinGracelaughedthewidelaughthatdisplayedamouthfulofgreathealthyteeth.

"What?Allyourclothesinthere?"shecried."Isay!Youcouldn'tbeaqueenifyouhadn'tmoretogsthanthat."

"Oh,Iknow,"Laurahastenedtoreply,andgrewveryred."Queensneeda

lotmoreclothesthanI'vegot."

"Tut,tut!"saidGodmother:shedidnotunderstandtheallusion,whichreferredtoaformerambitionofLaura's."Don'ttalksuchnonsensetothechild."

Shedroveverybadly,andtheywentbyquietby-streetstoescapethemaintraffic:thepony-chaisewobbledatrandomfromonesideoftheroadtotheother,obstaclesloominguponlyjustintimeforGodmothertoseethem.Theponiesshookandtossedtheirheadsattheconstantsawingofthebits,andLaurahadtobecontinuallyducking,tokeepoutofthewayofthereins.Shelettheunfamiliarstreetsgopastherinakindofdream;andtherewassilenceforatime,brokenonlyby

Godmother'sexpostulationswiththeponies,tillCousinGrace,growingtiredofplayingherbrighteyesfirstonthis,thenonthat,broughtthembacktoLauraandstudiedherupanddown.

"Isay,whoonearthtrimmedyourhat?"sheaskedalmostatonce.

"Mother,"answeredLaurabravely,whilethecolourmountedtohercheeksagain.

"Well,Iguessshemadeuphermindyoushouldn'tgetlostaslongas



youworeit,"wentonhercousinwithdisconcertingcandour."Itmakesyoulookjustlikeagreatbigreddoubledahlia."

"Letthechildbe.Shelookswellenough,"threwinGodmotherinhersnappishway.ButLaurawassurethatshe,toodisapproved;andfeltmorethansheheardthemutteredremarkabout"Janealwayshavinghadatasteforsomethinggay."

"Oh,Ilikethecolourverymuch.Ichoseitmyself,"saidLaura,andlookedstraightatthetwofacesbeforeher.Butherlipstwitched.Shewouldhavelikedtosnatchthehatfromherhead,tothrowitinfrontoftheponiesandhearthemtrampleitundertheirhoofs.Shehadneverwantedthescarletliningofthebig,upturnedbrim;inadisliketobeingconspicuouswhichwasincomprehensibletoMother,shehadimploredthelatterto"leaveitplain".ButMotherhadsaid:"Nonsense!"and"Holdyourtongue!"and"Iknowbetter,"--withthisresult.

Ohyes,shesawwellenoughhowGodmothersignedwithhereyestoCousinGracetosaynomore;butshepretendednottonotice,andfortheremainderofthedrivenobodyspoke.Theywentpastlonglinesofgreyhouses,joinedonetoanotherandbuiltexactlyalike;pastlarge,fenced-inpublicparkswhereallkindsofodd,unfamiliartreesgrew,withbranchesthatranrightdowntheirtrunks,andbushyleaves.Thebroadstreetswerehilly;thewind,cominginpuffs,metthemwith

cloudsofgrittywhitedust.Theyhadjust,withbentheads,theirhandsattheirhats,passedthroughoneoftheseminiaturewhirlwinds,whenturningacornertheysuddenlydrewup,andtheboysprangtotheponies'heads.Laura,whohadnotbeenexpectingtheendsosoon,sawonlyatallwoodenfence;butCousinGracelookedhigher,gaveastageyshudderandcried:"OhmyeyeBettyMartin!Aren'tIgladitisn'tmethat'sgoingtoschool!Itlooksjustlikeaprison."

Itcertainlywasanimposingbuildingviewedfromwithin,whenthepaling-gatehadclosedbehindthem.ToLaura,whocamefromatownshipofone-storiedbrickorweatherboardhouses,itseemedvastinitsbreadthandheight,appallinginitssombregreyness.BetweenGodmotherandCousinGraceshewalkedupanasphaltedpath,andmountedthesteps

thatledtoamassivestoneportico.ThebellGodmotherrangmadenoansweringsound,butafteraveryfewsecondsthedoorswungback,andaslendermaidservantincapandapronstoodbeforethem.Shesmiledatthempleasantly,as,inChinaman-fashion,theycrossedthethreshold;then,incliningherheadatamurmuredwordfromGodmother,shevanishedaslightlyasshehadcome,andtheysatandlookedaboutthem.Theywereinaplainlyfurnishedbutveryloftywaiting-room.Thereweretwolargewindows.Thevenetianblindshadnotbeenlowered,andtheafternoonsun,beatingin,displayedashabbypatchonthecarpet.Itshowedup,too,acoatingofdustthathadgatheredonthedesk-like,centraltable.Therewasthefaint,distinctivesmellofstrangefurniture.ButwhatimpressedLauramostwasthestillness.Nostreetnoisespiercedthemassywalls,butneitherdidthefaintestecho

ofallthatmightbetakingplaceinthegreatbuildingitselfreachtheirears:theysataloof,shutoff,asitwere,fromthelivingworld.Andthisfeelingsoongrewdownrightoppressive:itmustbelikethistobedead,thoughtLauratoherself;andinconsequentlyrememberedaquarterofanhourshehadoncespentinadentist'sante-room:thereasherethesamesoundlessvacancy,thesameanguishedexpectancy.Now,asthen,herheartbegantothumpsofuriouslythatshewasafraidtheotherswouldhearit.Butthey,too,weresubdued;thoughCousinGracetitteredcontinuallyyouheardonlyagentlewheezing,andevenGodmotherexpressedthehopethattheywouldnotbekeptwaitinglong,



underherbreath.Butminuteafterminutewentby;theretheysatandnothinghappened.Itbegantoseemasiftheymightsitonforever.

Allofasudden,fromoutthespacioushallsofwhichtheyhadcaughtaglimpseonarriving,briskstepsbegantocometowardsthemovertheoilcloth--atfirstasameretappinginthedistance,thenrapidlygaininginweightanddecision.Laura'spalpitationsreachedtheirextremelimit--anothersecondandtheymighthaveburstherchest.CousinGraceceasedtogiggle;thedooropenedwithapeculiarflourish;andallthreerosetotheirfeet.

Thepersonwhoenteredwasaverystatelylady;sheworeacapwithblackribbons.Withthedoor-handlestillinherhandshemadeaslightobeisance,inwhichherwholebodyjoined,afterwardstobecomemoreerectthanbefore.HavingintroducedherselftoGodmotherasMrs.Gurley,theLadySuperintendentoftheinstitution,shedrewupachair,letherselfdownuponit,andbegantoconversewithanairofineffablecondescension.

WhileshetalkedLauraexaminedher,withachild'sthirstfordetail.Mrs.Gurleywaslargeandgenerousofform,andshecarriedherheadinsuchahaughtyfashionthatitmadeherlooktallerthanshereallywas.Shehadahighcolour,herblackhairwastouchedwithgrey,herupperteethwereprominent.Sheworegoldeyeglasses,manyrings,alonggold

chain,whichhungfromanimmensecameobroochatherthroat,andablackapronwithwhiteflowersonit,onepointofwhichwaspinnedtoheramplebosom.ThefactthatLaurahadjustsuchanaproninherboxwentonlyaverylittlewaytowardsrevivingherspirits;foraltogetherMrs.Gurleywasthemostimpressivepersonshehadeverseteyeson.Besideher,Godmotherwasnothingbutaplump,shortsightedfidgetylady.

Particularlyawe-inspiringwasMrs.Gurleywhenshelistenedtoanotherspeaking.Sheheldherheadalittletooneside,herteethmetherunderlipandherbe-ringedhandstoyedincessantlywiththelonggoldchain,inamannerwhichseemedtodenotethatshesetlittlevalueonwhatwasbeingsaid.Awful,too,wasthehabitshehadofsuddenly

loweringherheadandlookingatyouoverthetopsofherglasses:whenshedidthis,andwhenherteethcamedownonherlip,youwouldhavelikedtoshrinktothesizeofamouse.Godmother,itwastrue,wasnotafraidofher;butCousinGracewashushedatlastandasforLauraherself,sheconsciouslyworeafixedlittlesimper,whichwasmeanttoputitbeyonddoubtthatbutterwouldnotmeltinhermouth.

Godmothernowaskedifshemightsayafewwordsinprivate,andthetwoladieslefttheroom.AsthedoorclosedbehindthemCousinGracebegantobeaudibleagain.

"Oh,snakes!"shegiggled,andherdoublechinspreaditself"There'saTartarforyou!Don'tIthankmystarsit'snotmethat'sbeingshunted

offhere!She'llgiveyouwhat-for."

"Idon'tthinkso.Ithinkshe'sverynice,"saidLaurastaunchly,outofaninstinctthatmadehercharyofshowingfear,orpain,orgrief.Butherheartbegantoboundagain,forthemomentinwhichshewouldbeleftalone.

"Yousee!"saidCousinGrace."It'llbebreadandwaterforaweek,ifyoucan'tdoAMAREfirstgo-off--nottomentionthedeponents."



"What'sAMARE?"askedLauraanxiously,andhereyesgrewsobigthattheyseemedtofillherface.

ButCousinGraceonlylaughedtillitseemedprobablethatshewouldburstherbodice;andLaurablushed,awarethatshehadcompromisedherselfanew.

Therefollowedalongandnervouspause.

"IbetGodmother'saskinghernottowallopyoutoooften,"theteasehadjustbegunafresh,whentheopeningofthedoorforcedhertoswallowhersentenceinthemiddle.

Godmotherwouldnotsitdown;sothedreadedmomenthadcome.

"Now,Laura.Beagoodgirlandlearnwell,andbeacomforttoyourmother.--Notthatthere'smuchneedtourgehertoherbooks,"Godmotherinterruptedherself,turningtoMrs.Gurley."Thetroubleherdearmotherhasalwayshadhasbeentokeepherfromthem."

Lauraglowedwithpleasure.Nowatleasttheawfulpersonagewouldknowthatshewasclever,andlovedtolearn.ButMrs.Gurleysmiledthechilliestthinkablesmileofacknowledgment,anddidnotreplyaword.

Sheescortedtheothertothefrontdoor,andhelditopenforthemtopassout.Then,however,herpretenceofaffabilityfadedcleanaway:turningherheadjustsofarthatshecouldlookdownhernoseatherownshoulder,shesaid:"Followme!"--inatoneMotherwouldnothaveusedeventoSarah.FeelinginexpressiblysmallLaurawasabouttoobey,whenapainfulthoughtstruckher.

"Ohplease,Ihadabox--withmyclothesinit!"shecried."Oh,Ihopetheyhaven'tforgottenandtakenitawayagain."

Butshemightaswellhavespokentothehatstand:Mrs.Gurleyhadsailedoff,andwasactuallyapproachingaturninthehallbeforeLauramadehastetofollowherandtokeepfurtheranxietyaboutherbox

toherself.Theywentpastonestaircase,roundabendintoshadowsasblackasif,outside,nosunwereshining,andbegantoascendanotherflightofstairs,whichwasthewidestLaurahadeverseen.Thebanisterswereasthickasyourarm,andoneachsideofthestair-carpetingthespacewasbroadenoughfortwotowalkabreast:whatasplendidgameoftrainsyoucouldhaveplayedthere!Ontheotherhandthelandingwindowsweresohighupthatonlyagiantcouldhaveseenoutofthem.

ThesethingsoccurredtoLauramechanically.Whatreallyoccupiedher,asshetrudgedbehind,washowshecouldpleasethishard-facedwomanandmakeherlikeher,forthedesiretoplease,tobelikedbyalltheworld,wasthestrongestheryoungsoulknew.Andtheremustbeaway,

forGodmotherhadfounditwithoutdifficulty.

Shetooktwostepsatonce,togetnearertotheportlybackinfrontofher.

"WhataVERYlargeplacethisis!"shesaidinaninsinuatingvoice.

Shehopedtheadmiration,thussubtlyexpressedintheformofsurprise,wouldflatterMrs.Gurley,asakindofco-proprietor;butitwasevidentthatitdidnothingofthesort:thelatterseemedtohavegone



deafanddumb,andmarchedonupthestairs,herhandsclaspedatherwaist,hereyesfixedahead,likeawalkingstone-statue.

Onthetopfloorsheledthewaytoaroomattheendofalongpassage.Therewerefourbedsinthisroom,awashhand--stand,achestofdrawers,andawallcupboard.ButatfirstsightLaurahadeyesonlyforthefamiliarobjectthatstoodatthefootofoneofthebeds.

"Oh,THERE'Smybox!"shecried,"Someonemusthavebroughtitup."

Itwasunroped;shehadsimplytohandoverthekey.Mrs.Gurleywentdownonherkneesbeforeit,openedthelid,andbegantopassthecontentstoLaura,directingherwheretolayandhangthem.Overawedbysuchcomplaisance,Lauramovednimblyabouttheroomshakingandunfolding,takingcaretobebackattheboxtotheminutesoasnottokeepMrs.Gurleywaiting.Andherpromptnesswasrewarded;thesternfaceseemedtorelax.Atthemerehintofthis,Lauragrewwarmthroughandthrough;andasshecouldneithercontrolherfeelingsnorkeepthemtoherself,sherushedtoanextremeandovershotthemark.

"I'vegotanapronlikethat.Ithinkthey'resopretty,"shesaidcordially,pointingtotheoneMrs.Gurleywore.

Thelatterabruptlystoppedherwork,and,restingherhandsonthe

sidesofthebox,gaveLauraoneofthedreadedlooksoverherglasses,lookedatherfromtoptotoe,andasthoughshewereonlynowbeginningtoseeher.Therewasapause,amomentarysuspensionofthebreath,whichLaurasoonlearnedtoexpectbeforearebuke.

"Littlegels,"saidMrs.Gurley--andeveninthemidstofherconfusionLauracouldnotbutbestruckbythepronunciationofthisword."Littlegels--arerequired--towearwhiteapronswhentheycomehere!"--abreakaftereachfewwords,aswellasanemphatichead-shake,accentuatedtheirseverity."AndIshouldliketoknow,ifyourmother,hasnevertaughtyou,thatitisveryrude,topoint,andalsotoremark,onwhatpeoplewear."

Laurawentscarlet:iftherewasonethingshe,Motherallofthempridedthemselveson,itwasthegoodmannersthathadbeeninstilledintothemsincetheirinfancy.--Theroughreproofseemedtoscorchher.

Shewenttoandfromoretimidlythanbefore.Then,however,somethinghappenedwhichheldarayofhope.

"Why,whatisthis?"askedMrs.Gurleyfreezingly,andhelduptoview--withthetipsofherfingers,Laurathought--asmall,blackPrayerBook."Pray,areyounotadissenter?"--FortheCollegewasnonconformist.

"Well...no,I'mnot,"saidLaura,inatoneofintenseapology.

Here,atlast,washerchance."Butitreallydoesn'tmatterabit.Icangotoanotherchurchquitewell.IeventhinkI'drather.Forachange.Andtheserviceisn'tsolong,atleastsoI'veheard--exceptthesermon,"sheaddedtruthfully.

Hadshedeniedreligionaltogether,thelookMrs.Gurleybentonhercouldnothavebeenmoreannihilating.

"Thereis--unfortunately!--nooccasion,foryoutodoanythingofthekind,"sheretorted."Imyself,amanEpiscopalian,andIexpectthose



gels,whobelongtotheChurchofEngland,toattendit,withme."

Theunpackingatanend,Mrs.Gurleyrose,smootheddownherapron,andwasjustonthepointofturningaway,whenonthebedoppositeLaura'ssheespiedanunder-garment,lyingwantonlyacrossthecounterpane.Atthisblotontheorderlinessoftheroomsheseemedtoswelllikeaturkey-cock,seemedliterallytogrowbeforeLaura'seyesas,stridingtothedoor,shecommandedaninvisiblesomeonetosendLilithGordontoher"DI-rectly!"!

Therewasanawfulpause;Lauradidnotdaretoraiseherhead;sheevensaidalittleprayer.Mrs.Gurleystoodworkingatherchain,andtappingherfoot--likeabeastwaitingforitsprey,thoughtthechild.Andatlastahurriedstepwasheardinthecorridor,thedooropenedandagirlcamein,high-colouredandscantofbreath.LauradartedoneglanceatMrs.Gurley'sface,thenlookedawayandstudiedthepatternofaquilt,tryingnottohearwhatwassaid.Herthroatswelled,grewhardanddrywithpityfortheculprit.ButLilithGordon--agirlwithsandyeyebrows,aturned-upnose,athickplaitofred-goldhair,andafiguresofullydevelopedthatLauramentallydubbedita"lady'sfigure",andputitsownerdownforyearsolderthanherself--LilithGordonneitherfellonherkneesnorsankthroughthefloor.Herlasheswerelowered,inakindofdog-likesubmission,andherfacehadgoneveryredwhenLauraventuredtolookatheragain;butthatwasall.And

Mrs.GurleyhavingsweptJove-likefromtheroom,thisboldgirlactuallysetherfingertohernoseandmuttered:"OldBrimstoneBeast!"AsshepassedLaura,too,sheputouthertongueandsaid:"Nowthen,goggle-eyes,whathaveyougottostareat?"

Laurawasdeeplyhurt:shehadgazedatLilithoutofthepurestsympathy.Andnow,asshestoodwaitingforMrs.Gurley,whoseemedtohaveforgottenher,thestrangenessofthings,andthegeneralunfriendlinessofthepeoplestruckhomewithfullforce.Thelateafternoonsunwasshiningin,inanunfamiliarway;outsidewerestrangestreets,strangenoises,astrangewhitedust,theexpanseofabig,strangecity.Shefeltunspeakablyfarawaynow,fromthesmall,snugdomainofhome.Here,nobodywantedher...shewasaloneamong

strangers,whodidnotevenlikeher...shehadalready,withoutmeaningit,offendedtwoofthem.

Anothersecond,andtheshamefultearsmighthavefoundtheirwayout.Butatthismomenttherewasakindofpreparatoryboominthedistance,andthenext,agreatbellclangedthroughthehouse,pealingonandon,longafterone'searswereraspedbythedin.Itwasfollowedbyanexodusfromtheroomsroundabout;therewasasoundofvoicesandoffeet.Mrs.Gurleyceasedtogiveordersinthepassage,andreturning,badeLauraputonapinaforeandfollowher.

Theydescendedthebroadstaircase.Atadoorjustatthefoot,Mrs.Gurleypausedandsmoothedheralreadyfaultlessbandsofhair;then

turnedthehandleandopenedthedoor,withthemajesticswingLaurahadthatdayoncebeforeobserved.

V.



Fifty-fiveheadsturnedasifbyclockwork,andfifty-fivepairsofeyeswerelevelledatthesmallgirlinthewhiteapronwhomeeklyfollowedMrs.Gurleydownthelengthofthedining-room.Lauracrimsonedundertheunexpectedordeal,andtriedtofixherattentionontheflouncingofMrs.Gurley'sdress.Theroomseemedhundredsoffeetlong,andnotasinglepersonatthetea-tablesbuttookstockofher.Thegirlsmadenoscrupleofleaningbackwardsandforwards,behindandbeforetheirneighbours,inordertoseeherbetter,andeventhegovernesseswerenotabovehavingalook.Allwerestanding.OnMrs.GurleyassigningLauraaplaceatherownrighthand,Lauracoveredherselfwithconfusionbytakingherseatatonce,beforegracehadbeensaid,andbeforethefifty-fivehaddrawnintheirchairswiththenoiseofacavalrybrigadeoncharge.Shestoodupagainimmediately,butitwastoolate;anaudibletitterwhizzedroundthetable:thenewgirlhadsatdown.Forminutesafter,Laurawaslostinthepatternonherplate;andnottilltongueswereloosenedanddishesbeingpassed,didsheventuretostealaglanceround.

Therewerefourtables,withagovernessattheheadandfootofeachtopourouttea.Itwasmoreofahallthanaroomandhadhigh,church-likewindowsdownoneside.Atbothendswerescoresofpigeon-holes.Therewasapianoinitandafireplace;ithad[P.45]palebluewalls,andonlystripsofcarpetonthefloor.Atpresentitwasdarkish,forthewindowsdidnotcatchthesun.

Laurawasrousedbyavoiceatherside;turning,shefoundherneighbourofferingheraplateofbread.

"No,thankyou,"shesaidimpulsively;forthebreadwascutinchunks,anddidnotlookinviting.

Butthegirlnudgedheronthesly."You'dbettertakesome,"shewhispered.

Laurathensawthattherewasnothingelse.Butshesaw,too,thesmilesandsignsthatagainflewround:thenewgirlhadsaidno.

Humblysheacceptedthebutterandthecupofteawhichwerepassedtoherinturn,andashumblyatethepieceofratherstalebread.Shefeltforlornlymiserableunderthefireofalltheseunkindeyes,whichtookadelightinmarkingherslips:atthesmallestfurthermischanceshemightdisgraceherselfbyburstingoutcrying.Justatthismoment,however,somethingimpelledhertolookup.Hervis-a-vis,whomshehadasyetscarcelynoticed,wasstaringhard.Andnow,tohergreatsurprise,thisgirlwinkedather,winkedslowlyanddeliberatelywiththerighteye.Laurawassodiscomposedthatshelookedawayagainatonce,andsomesecondselapsedbeforeshewasbraveenoughtotakeanotherpeep.Thewinkwasrepeated.

Itwasablack-hairedgirlthistime,agirlwithsmallblueeyes,a

pale,freckledskin,andlargewhiteteeth.WhatmostimpressedLaura,though,washerextraordinarygravity:shechewedawaywithafaceassolemnasaparson's;andthenjustwhenyouwereleastexpectingit,camethewink.Laurawasfascinated:shelayinwaitforitbeforehandandwasdoubtfulwhethertofeeloffendedbyitortolaughatit.Butatleastitmadeherforgethermishaps,anddidawaywiththetemptationtocry.

When,however,Mrs.Gurleyhadgiventhesignal,andthefifty-fivehadpushedbacktheirchairsandsetthemtothetableagainwiththesame



racketasbefore,Laura'spositionwasapainfulone.Everybodypushed,andtalked,andlaughed,inahurrytoleavethehall,andnoonetookanynoticeofherexcepttostare.Aftersomeindecision,shefollowedtherestthroughadoor.Hereshefoundherselfonaverandahfacingthegroundsoftheschool.Therewasalongbench,onwhichseveralpeopleweresitting:shetookamodestseatatoneend.Twooftheyoungergovernesseslookedatherandlaughed,andmadearemark.Shesawherroom-mate,LilithGordon,arminarmwithacoupleofcompanions.Thewinkerofthetea-tableturnedouttobeagirlofherownage,butofabroadermake;shehadfatlegs,whichwereencasedinthickly-ribbedblackstockings.Asshepassedthebenchsheleftthefriendshewaswith,tocomeuptoLauraanddigherintheribs.

"DIDN'Tshelikeherbreadandbutter,poorlittlething?"shesaid.Laurashrankfromthedig,whichwasrough;butshecouldnothelpsmilingshylyatthegirl,wholookedgood-natured.Ifonlyshehadstayedandtalkedtoher!Butshewasoffandaway,herarmroundacomrade'sneck.

Besidesherself,therewasnowonlyanelderlygovernessleft,whowasreading.She,Laura,inhersolitude,wasconspicuoustoeveryeye.Butatthisjunctureupcametworatherrollickingoldergirls,oneofwhomwasfair,witharedcomplexion.ASsoonastheirloudvoiceshaddriventhegovernessaway,thesmallerofthetwo,whohada

pronouncedsquint,turnedtoLaura.

"Hullo,youkid,"shesaid,"what'sYOURname?"

Lauraartlesslyreplied.Shewasdumbfoundedbythestormofmerrimentthatfollowed.MariaMorell,thefatgirl,wentpurple,andhadtobethumpedonthebackbyherfriend.

"Oh,my!"shegasped,whenshehadgotherbreath."Oh,my...holdme,someone,orIshallsplit!Oh,golly!Laura...Tweedle...Rambotham--Laura...Tweedle...Rambotham!..."hervoicetailedoffagain."Gosh!Wasthereeversuchaname?"

Shelaughedtillshecouldlaughnomore,rockingbackwardsandforwardsandfromsidetoside;whilehercompanionproceededtomakefurtherinquiries.

"Wheredoyoucomefrom?"thesquintdemandedofLaura,inabusiness-likeway.

Lauranamedthetownship,quaveringly."What'syourfather?"

"He'sdead,"answeredthechild.

"Well,butIsupposehewasaliveoncewasn'the,duffer?Whatwashebeforehewasdead?"

"Abarrister."

"Whatdidhedieof?"

"Consumption."

"Howmanyservantsdoyoukeep?"

"One."



"Howmuchhaveyougotayear?"

"Idon'tknow."

"Howoldareyou?"

"Twelveandaquarter."

"Whomadeyourdress?"

"Mother."

"Oh,Isay,hangit,that'senough.Stopteasingthekid,"saidMariaMorell,whenthelaughtercausedbythelastadmissionhaddiedaway.Butthesquintspiedafriend,rantoher,andtherewasagreatdealofwhisperingandsniggering.Presentlythepaircamesaunteringupandsatdown;andaftersomeartificialhummingandhawingthenewcomerbegantotalk,inaloudandfussymanner,aboutcertainacquaintancesofherscalledTweedledumandTweedledee.Boththefatgirlandthesquint"split"withlaughter.Laurasatwithherhandslockedoneinsidetheother;therewasnoescapeforher,forshedidnotknowwheretogo.Butwhenthethirdgirlputtheregulationquestion:"What'syournameandwhat'syourfather?"sheturnedonher,withthecourageof

despair.

"What'syours?"sheretortedhotly,atthesametimenotatallsurehowthebiggirlmightrevengeherself.Toherrelief,theothersburstoutlaughingattheirfriend'sbafflement.

"That'soneforyou,KateHorner,"saidMariawithachuckle."Notbadforthekid.--Comeon,Kid,willyouhaveawalkroundthegarden?"

"Ohyes,PLEASE,"saidLaura,reddeningwithpleasure;andthereshewas,arminarmwithherfatsaviour,promenadingthegroundslikeanyotherofthefifty-five.

Sheassumed,aswellasshecould,anairoffeelingathereaseeveninthepresenceofthecoldandcuriouslooksthatmether.Thefatgirlwasprotective,andLaurafelttoogratefultohertotakeitamissthateverynowandthenshethrewbackherheadandlaughedanew,attheremembranceofLaura'spatronymics;orthatshestillexchangedjokesaboutthemwiththeothercouple,whentheymet.

Butbythistimehalfanhourhadslippedaway,andthegirlswerefastdisappearing.MariaMorellloiteredtillthelastminute,thensaid,she,too,mustbeoffto'stew'.Everyonewashasteningacrosstheverandahladenwithbooks,anddisappearingdownacorridor.Leftalone,Lauramadeherwaybacktothedining-hall.Heresomeoftheveryyoungboarderswerepreparingtheirlessons,watchedoverbyajunior

governess.Lauralingeredforalittle,toseeifnoorderwereforthcoming,thendiffidentlyapproachedthetableandaskedthegovernessifshewouldpleasetellherwhattodo.

"I'msureIdon'tknow,"answeredthatlady,disinclinedforresponsibility."You'dbetteraskMissChapman.Here,Maggie,showherwherethestudyis."

Laurafollowedthelittlegirlovertheverandahanddownthecorridor.Attheend,thechildpointedtoadoor,andonopeningthisLaurafound



herselfinaverylargebrightlylightedroom,wheretheboarderssatattwolongtableswiththeirbooksbeforethem.Everyheadwasraisedatherentrance.Ingreatembarrassment,shethreadedherwaytothemoreauthoritative-lookingofthegovernessesincharge,andprofferedherrequest.Itwasnotunderstood,andshehadtorepeatit.

"I'msureIdon'tknow,"saidMissDayinherturn:shehadstiff,black,wavyhair,avividcolour,andabig,thicknosewhichmadeherprofileresemblethatofahorse."Can'tyoutwiddleyourthumbsforabit?--Ohwell,ifyou'resodesperatelyanxiousforanoccupation,you'dbetteraskMissChapman."

Thegirlsintheimmediateneighbourhoodlaughednoiselessly,inabounden-dutykindofway,attheirsuperior'spleasantry,andLaura,feelingasthoughshehadbeenhit,crossedtotheothertable.MissChapman,theheadgoverness,wasneithersohard-lookingnorsobrilliantasMissDay.SheeveneyedLaurasomewhatuneasily,meanwhiletoyingwithalonggoldchain,afterthemanneroftheLadySuperintendent.

"Didn'tMrs.Gurleytellyouwhattodo?"shequeried."Ishouldthinkitlikelyshewould.Ohwell,ifshedidn't,Isupposeyou'dbetterbringyourthingsdownstairs.Yes...andaskMissZielinskitogiveyouashelf."

MissZielinski--shewasthegovernessinthedining-hall--said:"Oh,verywell,"intheratherwhinyvoicethatseemednaturaltoher,andwentonreading.

"Please,Idon'tthinkIknowmyway,"venturedLaura.

"Followyournoseandyou'llfindit!"saidMissZielinskiwithoutlookingup,andwasforthwithwraptinhernovelagain.

OncemoreLauraclimbedthewidestaircase:itwasbutdimlylighted,andthepassageswereindarkness.Afterafewfalsemovesshefoundherroom,sawthatherboxhadbeentakenaway,herbooksleftlying[P.51]

onachair.Butinsteadofpickingthemup,shethrewherselfonherbedandburiedherfaceinthepillow.Shedidnotdaretocry,forfearofmakinghereyesred,butshehuggedthecoollinentohercheeks.

"Ihatethemall,"shesaidpassionately,speakingaloudtoherself."Oh,HOWIhatethem!"--andwildschemesofvengeanceflashedthroughheryoungmind.Shedidnotevenhaltatpoisonortheknife:abigcake,sentbyMother,ofwhichsheinvitedallaliketopartake,andintowhichsheinsertedafatalpoison,sothatthewholeschooldiedlikerabbits;oranightlystabbing,acreepingfrombedtobedinthedark,herpenknifeopeninherhand...

Butshehadnotlainthusformorethanaveryfewminuteswhensteps

camealongthepassage;andshehadonlyjusttimetospringtoherfeetbeforeoneofthelittlegirlsappearedatthedoor.

"You'retocomedownatonce."

"Don'tyouknowyou'renotALLOWEDtostayupstairs?"askedMissZielinskicrossly."Whatwereyoudoing?"AndasLauradidnotreply:"Whatwasshedoing,Jessie?"

"Idon'tknow,"saidthechild."Shewasjuststandingthere."Andall



thelittlegirlslaughed,afterthemanneroftheirelders.

BeforeLaurahadfinishedarrangingherbelongingsontheshelvesthatwereassignedtoher,someoftheoldergirlsbegantodropinfromthestudy.Oneunceremoniouslyturnedoverherbooks,whichwerelyingonthetable.

"Let'sseewhatthekid'sgot."

NowLaurawasproudofhercollection:itreallymadeagreatshow;foradaughterofGodmother'shadonceattendedtheCollege,andherequipmenthadbeenhandeddowntoLaura.

"Why,youdon'tmeantosayakidlikeyou'sintheSecondPrincipiaalready?"saidabiggirl,andheldup,incredulously,Smith'sblackandredboards."WhereverdidYOUlearnLatin?"

InthereediestofvoicesLaurawasforcedtoconfessthatshehadneverlearntLatinatall.

Thegirleyedherindubiousamaze,thenburstoutlaughing."Oh,Isay!"shecalledtoafriend."Here'sarumgo.Here'sthiskidbringstheSecondPrincipiawithheranddoesn'tknowtheFirst."

Severalotherscrowdedround;andallfoundthisdivergencefromthenorm,fromthetraditionalmethodofpurchasingeachbooknewandasitwasneeded,highlyridiculous.Laura,onherkneesbeforehershelf,pretendedtobebusy;butshecouldnotseewhatshewasdoing,forthemistthatgatheredinhereyes.

Justatthismoment,however,inmarchedMariaMorell."Here,Isay,stopthat!"shecried."You'reteasingthatkidagain.Iwon'thaveit.Here,comeon,Kid--LauraTweedledumcomeandsitbymeforsupper."

Forthesecondtime,Laurawasthankfultothefatgirl.Butasill-luckwouldhaveit,MissChapmanchancedtolethereyesstrayintheirdirection;andhavingfingeredherchainindecisivelyforalittle,

said:"Itseemsapity,doesn'tit,MissDay,thatthatnicelittlegirlshouldgetinwiththatvulgarset?"

MissChapmanlikedtohaveheropinionsconfirmed.ButthiswasaweaknessMissDaydidnotpamper;herselfstrong-minded,shecouldaffordtodisregardMissChapman'sfoibles.Soshewentonwithherbook,andignoredthequestion.ButMissZielinski,wholostnoopportunityofmakingherselfagreeabletothoseoverher,saidwithforeignemphasis:"Yes,indeeditdoes."

SoLaurawassummonedandmadetositdownattheendoftheroom,closetothegovernessesandbesidetheverybiggirls--girlsofeighteenandnineteen,whoseemedolderstilltoher,withtheirfigures,andwaists,

andskirtsthattouchedtheground.

Instinctivelyshefeltthattheyresentedherproximity.Thebiggestofall,apleasant-facedgirlwithakindsmile,saidonseeingherdowncastair:"Poorlittlething!Nevermind."Butwhentheytalkedamongthemselvestheyloweredtheirvoicesandcaststealthyglancesather,toseeifshewerelistening.

Supperover,threechairsweresetoutinanexposedposition;thebigbellinthepassagewaslightlytouched;everyonefetchedahymn-book,



onewithmusicinitbeinghandedtoMissChapmanatthepiano.ThedooropenedtoadmitfirstMrs.Gurley,thenthePrincipalandhiswife--atall,fairgentlemaninalongcoat,andasweet-facedlady,whoworearoseinhervelvetdress.

"Letussinginthehundredandfifty-seventhhymn,"saidthegentleman,whohadaGrecianprofileandadrooping,sandymoustache;andwhenMissChapmanhadplayedthroughthetune,thefifty-five,thegovernesses,theladyandgentlemanrosetotheirfeetandsang,withhaltingemphasis,oftheRedeemerandHismercy,toMissChapman'saccompaniment,whichwasasindecisiveashermanner,thelefthanddragginglamelyalongaftertheright.

"LetusreadinthethirdchapteroftheSecondEpistleofPaultotheThessalonians."

Everyonelaidherhymn-bookonthetableandsatdowntolistentoPaul'swords,whichthesandygentlemanreadtoacontinualnervousmovementoftheleftleg.

"Letuspray."

Obeyingtheword,thefifty-fiverose,facedabout,andknelttotheirchairs.Itwasanextemporeprayer,andalongone,andLauradidnot

hearmuchofit;forthetwobiggirlsonherrightkeptupthroughoutarunningconversation.Also,whenitwasabouthalfovershewasstartledtohearMissZielinskisay,inashrillwhisper:"Heavens!There'sthatmouseagain,"andaudiblydrawherskirtsroundher.EvenMissChapman,prayingtoherpiano-chairsomedistanceoff,hadheard,andturnedherheadtofrownrebuke.

Theprayeratanend,Mr.andMrs.Stracheybowedvaguelyinseveraldirections,shookhandswiththegovernesses,andlefttheroom.ThiswasthesignalfortwooftheteacherstoadvancewithopenBibles.

"Here,littleone,haveyoulearnedyourverse?"whisperedLaura'spleasantneighbour.

Lauraknewnothingofit;butthebiggirllentheraBible,and,sinceitwasnotahardverseandeverygirlrepeatedit,itwasquicklylearned.

IWISDOMDWELLWITHPRUDENCEANDFINDOUTKNOWLEDGEOFWITTYINVENTIONS.

Toldoffinbatches,theyfiledupthestairs.OnthefirstlandingstoodMissDay,watchingwithlynx-eyestoseethatnobooksoreatablesweresmuggledtothebedrooms.Inastridentvoicesheexhortedthenoisytosilence,andtheloitererstohaste.

Lauraspedtoherroom.Shewasfortunateenoughtofinditstillempty.

Tossingoffherclothes,shegabbledardentlythroughherownprayers,drewtheblanketsupoverherhead,andpretendedtobeasleep.Soonthelightswereoutandallwasquiet.Then,withherfaceburroweddeep,sothatnotasoundcouldescape,shegavefreeplaytohertears.

VI.



MYDEARMOTHER

ISENTYOUAPOSTCARDDIDYOUGETIT.ITOLDYOUIGOTHEREALLRIGHTANDLIKEDITVERYMUCH.ICOULDNOTWRITEALONGLETTERBEFOREIHADNOTIMEANDWEAREONLYALOWEDTOWRITELETTERSTWOEVENINGSAWEEKTUESDAYANDFRIDAY.WHENWEHAVEDONEOURLESSONSFORNEXTDAYWESAYPLEASEMAYIWRITENOWANDMISSCHAPMANSAYSHAVEYOUDONEEVERYTHINGANDIFWESAYWEHAVESHESAYSYESANDIFYOUSITATMISSDAYSTABLEMISSDAYSAYSIT.ANDSOMETIMESWEHAVEN'TBUTWESAYSO.ISITUPBYMISSCHAPMANANDSHECANSEEEVERYTHINGIDOANDATTEAANDDINNERANDBREAKFASTISITBESIDEMRS.GURLEY.ANOTHERGIRLINMYCLASSSITSOPPOSITEANDONESITSBESIDEMEANDWEWOULDRATHERSITSOMEWHEREELSE.IDON'TCAREFORMRS.GURLEYMUCHSHEISVERYFATANDNEVERSMILESANDNEVERLISTENSTOWHATYOUSAYUNLESSSHESCOLDSYOUANDITHINKMISSCHAPMANISAFRAIDOFHERTO.MISSDAYISNOTAFRAIDOFANYBODY.IAMINTHEFIRSTCLASS.IAMINTHECOLLEGEANDUNDERTHATISTHESCHOOL.ONLYVERYLITTLEGIRLSAREINTHESCHOOLTHEYGOTOBEDATHALFPASTEIGHTANDDOTHEIRLESSONSINTHEDININGHALL.IDOMINEINTHESTUDYANDGOTOBEDWITHTHEBIGGIRLS.THEYWEARDRESSESDOWNTOTHEGROUND.LILITHGORDONISAGIRLINMYCLASSSHEISINMYROOMTOSHEISONLYASOLDASMEANDSHEWEARSSTAYSANDHASABEAUTIFULFIGGURE.ALLTHEGIRLSWEARSTAYS.PLEASESENDMESOMEIHAVENOWASTE.AGOVERNESSSLEEPSINOURROOMANDSHEHAS

NOTEETH.SHETAKESTHEMOUTEVERYNIGHTANDPUTSTHEMINWATERWHENTHELIGHTISOUT.LILITHGORDONANDTHEOTHERGIRLSAYGOODNIGHTTOHERAFTERSHEHASTAKENTHEMOFFTHENSHECANTTALKPROPPERLYANDWEWANTTOHEARHER.ITHINKSHEKNOWSFORSHEISVERYCROSS.IDON'TLEARNLATINYETTILLIGOINTOTHESECONDCLASSMYSUMSAREVERYHARD.FORSUPPERTHEREISONLYBREADANDBUTTERANDWATERIFWEDON'THAVECAKEANDJAMOFOUROWN.PLEASESENDMESOMESTRAWBERRYJAMANDANOTHERCAKE.TELLSARAHTHEREARETHREESERVANTSTOWAITATDINNERTHEYHAVEWHITEAPRONSANDACAPONTHEIRHEADS.THEYSAYWILLYOUTAKEBEEFMISS

IREMAIN

YOURLOVINGDAUGHTER

LAURA.

DEARPIN

IAMVERYBUSYIWILLWRITEYOUALETTER.YOUWOULDNOTLIKEBEINGHEREITHINKYOUSHOULDALWAYSSTOPATHOMEYOUWILLNEVERGETASFARASLONGDIVISION.MRS.GURLEYISANAWFULOLDBEASTALLTHEGIRLSCALLHERTHAT.YOUWOULDBEFRIGHTENEDOFHER.INTHEAFTERNOONAFTERSCHOOLWEWALKTWOANDTWOANDYOUASKAGIRLTOWALKWITHYOUANDIFYOUDON'TYOUHAVETOWALKWITHMISSCHAPMAN.MISSCHAPMANANDMISSDAYWALKSBEHINDANDTHEYWATCHTOSEEYOUDON'TLAUGHATBOYS.SOMEGIRLSWRITELETTERSTOTHEMANDSAYTHEYWILLMEETTHEMUPBEHINDATREEINTHECORNEROFTHE

GARDENAPALINGISLOSEANDTHEBOYSPUTLETTERSIN.ITHINKBOYSARESILLYBUTMARIAMORELLSAYSTHEYARETIPTOPTHATMEANSAWFULLYJOLLY.SHEWRITESALETTERTOBOYSEVERYWEEKSHETAKESITTOCHURCHANDDROPSITCOMINGOUTANDHEPICKSITUPANDPUTSANANSWERTHROUGHTHEFENCE.WEPUTOURLETTERSONTHEMANTLEPIECEINTHEDINING-HALLANDMRS.GURLEYORMISSCHAPMANREADTHEADRESSTOSEEWEDON'TWRITETOBOYS.THEYARESHUTUPSHECANTREADTHEINSIDE.IHOPEYOUDON'TCRYSOMUCHATSCHOOLNOONECRIES.NOWMISSCHAPMANSAYSITISTIMETOSTOP

IREMAIN



YOURAFECTIONATESISTER

LAURA.

P.S.ITOOKTHEREDLINEINGOUTOFMYHAT.

WARRENEGA

SUNDAY.

MYDEARLAURA

WEWEREVERYGLADTOGETYOURLETTERSWHICHCAMETHISMORNING.YOURPOSTCARDWRITTENTHEDAYAFTERYOUARRIVEDATTHECOLLEGETOLDUSLITTLEORNOTHING.HOWEVERGODMOTHERWASGOODENOUGHTOWRITEUSANACCOUNTOFYOURARRIVALSOTHATWEWERENOTQUITEWITHOUTNEWSOFYOU.IHOPEYOUREMEMBEREDTOTHANKHERFORDRIVINGINALLTHATWAYTOMEETYOUANDTAKEYOUTOSCHOOLWHICHWASVERYGOODOFHER.IAMGLADTOHEARYOUARESETTLINGDOWNANDFEELINGHAPPYANDIHOPEYOUWILLWORKHARDANDDISTINGUISHYOURSELFSOTHATIMAYBEPROUDOFYOU.BUTTHEREARESEVERALTHINGSINYOURLETTERSIDONOTLIKE.DIDYOUREALLYTHINKISHOULDN'TREADWHATYOUWROTETOPIN.YOUAREAVERYFOOLISHGIRLIFYOUDID.PINTHESILLYCHILDTRIEDTOHIDEITAWAYBECAUSESHEKNEWITWOULD

MAKEMECROSSBUTIINSISTEDONHERSHOWINGITTOMEANDIAMASHAMEDOFYOUFORWRITINGSUCHNONSENSETOHER.MARIAMORELLMUSTBEAVERYVULGARMINDEDGIRLTOUSETHEEXPRESSIONSSHEDOES.IHOPEMYLITTLEGIRLWILLTRYTOONLYASSOCIATEWITHNICEMINDEDGIRLS.IDIDN'TSENDYOUTOSCHOOLTOGETNASTYIDEASPUTINTOYOURHEADBUTTOLEARNYOURLESSONSWELLANDGETON.IFYOUWRITESUCHVULGARSILLYTHINGSAGAINISHALLCOMPLAINTOMRS.GURLEYORMR.STRACHEYABOUTTHETONEOFTHECOLLEGEANDWHATGOESONBEHINDTHEIRBACKS.ITHINKITISVERYRUDEOFYOUTOOTOCALLMRS.GURLEYNAMES.ALSOABOUTTHEPOORGOVERNESSWHOHASTOWEARFALSETEETH.WAITTILLALLYOUROWNTEETHAREGONEANDTHENSEEHOWYOUWILLLIKEIT.IDOWANTYOUTOHAVENICEFEELINGSANDNOTGROWROUGHANDRUDE.THEREISEVIDENTLYAVERYBADTONEAMONGSOMEOFTHEGIRLSANDYOUMUSTBECAREFULINCHOOSINGYOURFRIENDS.IAMSORRYTO

HEARYOUAREONLYINTHELOWESTCLASS.ITWOULDHAVEPLEASEDMEBETTERIFYOUHADGOTINTOTHESECONDBUTIALWAYSTOLDYOUYOUWERELAZYABOUTYOURSUMS--YOUCANDOTHEMWELLENOUGHIFYOULIKE.YOUDON'TNEEDSTAYS.IHAVENEVERWORNTHEMMYSELFANDIDON'TINTENDYOUTOEITHER.YOUROWNMUSCLESAREQUITESTRONGENOUGHTOBEARTHEWEIGHTOFYOURBACK.BREADANDWATERISNOTMUCHOFASUPPERFORYOUTOGOTOBEDON.IWILLSENDYOUANOTHERCAKESOONANDSOMEJAMANDIHOPEYOUWILLSHAREITWITHTHEOTHERGIRLS.NOWTRYANDBESENSIBLEANDINDUSTRIOUSANDMAKENICEFRIENDSANDTHENISHANTHAVETOSCOLDYOU

YOURLOVINGMOTHER

J.T.R.

P.S.ANOTHERTHINGINYOURLETTERIDON'TLIKE.YOUSAYYOUTELLYOURGOVERNESSYOUHAVEFINISHEDYOURLESSONSWHENYOUHAVENOTDONESO.THATISTELLINGANUNTRUTHANDIHOPEYOUARENOTGOINGTOBELEDAWAYBYTHEEXAMPLESOFBADGIRLS.IHAVEALWAYSBROUGHTYOUCHILDRENUPTOBESTRAIGHTFORWARDANDIAMASTONISHEDATYOUBEGINNINGFIBBINGASSOONASYOUGETAWAYFROMHOME.FIBBINGSOONLEADSTOSOMETHINGWORSE.

P.P.S.YOUMUSTHAVEWRITTENYOURLETTERINAGREATHURRYFORYOURSPELLINGISANYTHINGBUTPERFECT.YOUAREAVERYNAUGHTYGIRLTOMEDDLE



WITHYOURHAT.PINHASWRITTENALETTERWHICHIENCLOSETHOUGHHERSPELLINGISWORSETHANEVER.

DEARLAURA

MOTHERSAYSYOUAREAVERYSILYGIRLTORITESUCHSILYLETTERSITHINKYOUARESILYTOISHOODBEFRITENEDOFMRS.GIRLYIDON'TWANTTOGOTOSKOOLIWOODRATHERSTOPWITHMOTHERANDBEACUMFERTTOHERITHINKITISNAUTYTODROPLETTERSINCHERCHANDVERRYSILYTORITETOBOYSBOYSARESOSILYSARAHSENDSHERLUVSHESAYSSHEWOODNOTWAREACAPONHERHEDNOTFORANNYTHINGSHESAYSSHEWOODJUSTASSOONWAREARINGTHRUGHHERNOSE.

IREMAIN

YOURLUVINGSISTERPIN.

DEARMOTHER

PLEASEPLEASEDON'TWRITETOMRS.GURLEYABOUTTHETONEINTHECOLLEGEORNOTTOMR.STRACHEYEITHER.IWILLNEVERBESOSILLYAGAIN.IAMSORRYMYLETTERSWERESOSILLYIWONTDOITAGAIN.PLEASEDON'TWRITETOTHEMABOUTIT.IDON'TGOMUCHWITHMARIAMORELLNOWITHINKSHESHEISVULGERTO.IKNOWTWONICEGIRLSNOWINMYOWNCLASSTHEIRNAMESARE

INEZANDBERTHATHEYAREVERYNICEANDNOTATALLVULGER.MARIAMORELLISFATANDHASAREDFACESHEISMUCHOLDERTHANMEANDIDON'TCAREFORHERNOW.PLEASEDON'TWRITETOMRS.GURLEYIWILLNEVERCALLHERNAMESAGAIN.IHADTOWRITEMYLETTERQUICKLYBECAUSEWHENIHAVEDONEMYLESSONSITISNEARLYTIMEFORSUPPER.IAMSORRYMYSPELLINGWASWRONGIWILLTAKEMOREPAINSNEXTTIMEIWILLLEARNHARDANDGETONANDSOONIWILLBEINTHESECONDCLASS.IDIDNOTMEANISAIDIHADDONEMYLESSONSWHENIHADNOTDONETHEMTHEOTHERGIRLSSAYITANDITHINKITISVERYWRONGOFTHEM.PLEASEDON'TWRITETOMRS.GURLEYIWILLTRYANDBEGOODANDSENSIBLEANDNOTDOITAGAINIFYOUONLYWONTWRITE.

IREMAIN

YOURAFECTIONATEDAUGHTER

LAURA.

P.S.ICANDOMYSUMSBETTERNOW.

WARRENEGA

MYDEARLAURA

MYLETTEREVIDENTLYGAVEYOUAGOODFRIGHTANDIAMNOTSORRYTOHEARITFORITHINKYOUDESERVEDITFORBEINGSUCHAFOOLISHGIRL.IHOPEYOUWILLKEEPYOURPROMISEANDNOTDOITAGAIN.OFCOURSEIDON'TMEANTHAT

YOUARENOTTOTELLMEEVERYTHINGTHATHAPPENSATSCHOOLBUTIWANTYOUTOONLYHAVENICETHOUGHTSANDFEELINGSANDGROWINTOAWISEANDSENSIBLEGIRL.IAMNOTGOINGTOWRITEALONGLETTERTODAY.THIS[P.62]ISONLYALINETOCOMFORTYOUANDLETYOUKNOWTHATISHALLNOTWRITETOMRS.GURLEYORMR.STRACHEYASLONGASISEETHATYOUAREBEINGAGOODGIRLANDGETTINGONWELLWITHYOURLESSONS.IDOWANTYOUTOREMEMBERTHATYOUAREALADYTHOUGHYOUAREPOORANDMUSTBEHAVEINALADYLIKEWAY.YOUDON'TTELLMEWHATTHEFOODATTHECOLLEGEISLIKEANDWHETHERYOUHAVEBLANKETSENOUGHONYOURBEDATNIGHT.DOTRYANDREMEMBERTOANSWERTHEQUESTIONSIASKYOU.SARAHISBUSYWASHINGTODAYANDTHE



CHILDRENAREHELPINGHERBYSITTINGWITHTHEIRARMSINTHETUBS.IAMTOTELLYOUFROMPINTHATMAGGYISMOULTINGBADLYANDHASNOTEATENMUCHSINCEYOULEFTWHICHISJUSTTHREEWEEKSTODAY

YOURLOVING

MOTHER.

FRIDAY

MYDEARMOTHER

IWASSOGLADTOGETYOURLETTERIAMSOGLADYOUWILLNOTWRITETOMRS.GURLEYTHISTIMEANDIWILLPROMISETOBEVERYGOODANDTRYTOREMEMBEREVERYTHINGYOUTELLME.IAMSORRYIFORGOTTOANSWERTHEQUESTIONSIHAVETWOBLANKETSONMYBEDANDITISENOUGH.THEFOODISVERYNICEFORDINNERFORTEAWEHAVETOEATALOTOFBREADANDBUTTERIDON'TCAREFORBREADMUCH.SOMETIMESWEHAVEJAMBUTWEARENOTALOWEDTOEATBUTTERANDJAMTOGETHER.ALOTOFGIRLSGETUPATSIXANDGODOWNTOPRACTICETHEYDON'TDRESSANDHAVETHEIRBATHTHEYJUSTPUTONTHEIRDRESSINGGOWNSONTOPOFTHEIRNIGHTGOWNS.IDON'TGODOWNNOWTILLSEVENIMAKEMYOWNBED.WEHAVEPRAYERSINTHEMORNINGANDTHEEVENINGANDPRAYERSAGAINWHENTHEDAYSCHOLERSCOME.IDOMYSUMSBETTERNOWITHINKISHALLSOONBEINTHESECONDCLASS.PINSSPELLINGWASDREADFULL

ANDSHEISNEARLYNINENOWANDISSUCHABABYTHEGIRLSWOULDLAUGHATHER.

IREMAIN

YOURAFECTIONATEDAUGHTERLAURA.

P.S.IPARSSEDALONGSENTENCEWITHOUTANYMISTAKES.

VII.

Themorningswerebeginningtogrowdarkandchilly:fireswerelaidovernightintheouterclassrooms--andthejuniorgovernesswhowasonearlyduty,havingpealedthesix-o'clockbell,flittedlikeagreywraithfromroomtoroomandfromonegas-jettoanother,amongstretched,sleepingforms.Andthefewminutes'graceatanend,itwasacold,unwillingpackthatthrewoffcoverletsandjumpedoutofbed,totieonpetticoatsandsnuggleintodressing-gownsandshawls;forthefirstapproachofcoolerweatherwaskeenlyfelt,afterthesummerheat.Thegovernessblewonspeedilychilblainedfingers,inmakingherroundsoftheverandahstoseethateachofthetwentypianoswasrightly

occupied;and,aswintercrepton,itschiefoutwardsignanoccasionalthinwhitespreadoffrostwhichvanishedbeforethemightysunofteno'clock,shesometimestooktheoccupancyforgranted,andskippedanexposedroom.

Ateight,theboardersassembledinthedining-hallforprayersandbreakfast.AfterthismealitwasMrs.Gurley'scustomtodrinkaglassofhotwater.Whileshesipped,shegaveaudience,metingoutrebukesandcrushingcomplaints--wereanyboldenoughtoofferthem--standingerectbehindherchairattheheadofthetable,supportedbyoneor



moreofthestaff.Tosuittheseasonshewasdrapedinashawlofcrimsonwool,whichreachedtotheflounceofherskirt,andwasbornebyherportlyshoulderswiththegraceofapastday.Beneaththeshawl,herdresseswerebuilt,yearin,yearout,onthesameplan:cutinonepiece,buttoningrightdownthefront,theyfittedherlikeaneelskin,rigidlyoutlininghermajesticproportions,andalwaysshortenoughtoshowapairofsurprisinglysmall,well-shodfeet.Thusshestood,sippingherwater,andboringwithherhard,unflaggingeyeeverygirlthatpresentedherselftoit.Mostshranknoiselesslyawayassoonasbreakfastwasover;for,unlessonewasveryfirmindeedintheconvictionofone'sowninnocence,tobebeneaththiseyewasapttoinduceadisagreeablesenseofguilt.InthecaseofMrs.Gurley,familiarityhadneverbeenknowntobreedcontempt.Shewaspossessedofwhatwaslittleshortofgenius,forrulingthroughfear;andnomorefittingoverseercouldhavebeensetattheheadofthesehalf-hundredgirls,ofallagesanddegrees:gentleandcommon;rulyandunruly,childrenhardlyoutofthenursery,andgirlswelloverthebrinkofwomanhood,whoseripe,burstingformstoldtheirowntale;thedaughtersofpoorministersatreducedfees;andthespoiltheiressesofwealthywool-brokersandsquatters,whosedowrieswouldmounttomanythousandsofpounds.--Mrs.Gurleywasequaltothemall.

Inaveryshorttime,therewasnomorepersistentshrinkerfromtheiceofthisgazethanlittleLaura.InthepresenceofMrs.Gurleythechild

hadadifficultyingettingherbreath.Herfirstweekofschoollifehadbeenoneunbrokensuccessionofsnubsandreprimands.Forthis,theunduefamiliarityofhermannerwastoblame:shewasalltooslowtograsp--beingofanimpulsivedispositionandnotnaturallyshy--thatitwasindecoroustoaccostMrs.Gurleyoff-hand,totreather,indeed,inanywayasifshewereanordinarymortal.Theclimaxhadcomeonemorning--itstillmadeLaura'scheeksburntorememberit.ShehadnotbeenabletomasterherFrenchlessonforthatday,andseeingMrs.Gurleychattingtoagovernesshadgonethoughtlesslyuptoherandtappedheronthearm.

"Mrs.Gurley,please,doyouthinkitwouldmatterverymuchifIonlytookhalfthisverbtoday?It'sCOUDRE,andmeanstosew,youknow,and

it'sSOhard.Idon'tseemtobeabletogetitintomyhead."

Beforethewordswereoutofhermouth,shesawthatshehadmadeaterriblemistake.Mrs.Gurley'sface,whichhadbeensmiling,frozetostone.Shelookedatherarmasthoughthehandhadbittenher,andLaura'ssuddenshrinkingdidnotmoveher,towhomseldomanyoneaddressedawordunbidden.

"HowDAREyouinterruptme--whenIamspeaking!"--shehissed,punctuatingherwordswiththeominoushead-shakesandpauses."Thefirstthing,miss,foryoutodo,willbe,totakeacourseoflessons,inmanners.Yourpresentones,mayhavedonewellenough,intheouthouse,towhichyouhaveevidentlybelonged.Theywillnotdo,here,inthe

companyofyourbetters."

Abovethechild'sheadthetwoladiessmiledsignificantlyateachother,assuredthat,afterthis,therewouldbenofurtherwantofrespect;butLauradidnotseethem.Theironofthethrustwentdeepdownintohersoul:noonehadeveryetcastasluruponherhome.Retreatingtoalavatoryshecriedherselfnearlysick,makinghereyessoredthatshewaslateforprayersintryingtowashthemwhite.Sincethatday,shehadneverofherownfreewillapproachedMrs.Gurleyagain,andevenavoidedthoseplaceswhereshewaslikelytobe



found.Thiswaswhyonemorning,somethreeweekslater,ondiscoveringthatshehadforgottenoneofherlesson-books,shehesitatedlongbeforere-enteringthedining-hall.Thegovernessesstillclusteredroundtheirchief,andthepupilswerenotexpectedtoreturn.Butitwaspastnineo'clock;inaminutethepublicprayer-bellwouldring,whichunitedboarders,severalhundredday-scholars,residentandvisitingteachersinthelargestclass-room;andLauradidnotknowherEnglishlesson.Soshestolein,cautiouslydodgingbehindthegroup,inatwitterlestthedreadedeyesshouldturnherway.

ItwasMissDaywhospiedheranddemandedanexplanation.

"Suchcarelessness!Yougirlswouldforgetyourheadsiftheyweren'tscrewedon,"retortedthegoverness,inthedry,violentmannerthatmadeheruniversallydisliked.

Thankfultoescapewiththis,Laurapickedoutherbookandhurriedfromtheroom.

Butthethoughtsofthegrouphadbeendrawntoher.

"Thegreatestlittleodditywe'vehadhereforsometime,"pronouncedMissDay,poutingherfullbustindecisivefashion.

"Sheis,indeed,"agreedMissZielinski.

"Idon'tknowwhatsortofaplaceshecomesfrom,I'msure,"continuedtheformer:"butitmustbetheendofcreation.She'sutterlynoideaofwhat'swhat,andasforherclothesthey'refitforaPunchandJudyshow."

"She'shadnotrainingeither--stupid,Icallher,"chimedinoneoftheyoungergovernesses,whosenamewasMissSnodgrass."Shedoesn'tknowthesimplestthings,andherspellingisawful.Andyet,doyouknow,athistorytheotherday,shewantedtoholdforthabouthowLondonlookedinElizabeth'sreign--whenshedidn'tknowasingleoneofthedates!"

"Shecansaysomepoetry,"saidMissZielinski."Andshe'sreadScott."

Oneandallshooktheirheadsatthis,andMrs.Gurleywentonshakinghersandsmilinggrimly."Ah!thewaygelsarebroughtupnowadays,"shesaid."Therewasnosuchthinginmytime.Weweremadetolearnwhatwouldbeofsomeuseandhelptousafterwards."

ElderlyMissChapmantwiddledherchain."IhopeIdidrightMrs.Gurley.Shehadoneweek'searlypractice,butshelookedsowhitealldayafteritthatIhaven'tputherdownforitagain.IhopeIdidright?"

"Oh,well,wedon'twanttohavethemill,youknow,"repliedMrs.

Gurley,intheratherirresponsivetonesheadoptedtowardsMissChapman."Aslongasitisn'tmerelaziness."

"Idon'tthinkshe'slazy,"saidMissChapman."Atleastshetakesgreatpainswithherlessonsatnight."

Thiswastrue.Lauratriedherutmost,withanindustrybornofdespair.Forthecomfortingassuranceofspeedypromotion,whichshehadgivenMother,hadnorootinfact.Theseearlyweeksonlyservedtoreduce,bitbybit,herbeliefinherownknowledge.Howslenderthis



was,andofhowlittleusetoherinhernewstate,shedidnotdaretoconfesseventoherself.Herdisillusionmenthadbegunthedayafterherarrival,whenDrPughson,theHeadmaster,towhomshehadgonetobeexaminedinarithmetic,flunguphandsofcomicaldismayatherbefoggedattemptstosolvethemysteriesoflongdivision.AnupperclasswastakingalessoninEuclid,andintheintervalsbetweenhermazyreckoningsshehadstolenglancesatthemaster.Atinylittlenosewasasifsquashedflatonhisface,aboveagrotesquelyexpressivemouth,whichdisplayedeveryoneofasplendidsetofteeth.Hehadsmall,short-sighted,red-rimmedeyes,andcurlyhairwhichdidnotstopgrowingathisears,butwentoncurling,closelycropped,downthesidesofhisface.Hetaughtatthetopofhisvoice,thumpedtheblackboardwithapointer,wasbitingattheexpenseofapupilwhoconfusedtheangleBFCwiththeangleBFG,amomentlatertovolleyforthabroadIrishjokewhichconvulsedtheclass.HebewitchedLaura;sheforgothersumsinthedelightofwatchinghim;andthismadeherlearningseemalittlescantierthanitactuallywas;forshehadtowindupinagreathurry.Hepounceddownuponher;theclasslaughedanewathisplayfulhorror;andyetagainattheremarkthatitwasevidentshehadneverhadmanypenniestospend,orshewouldknowbetterwhattodowiththefiguresthatrepresentedthem.--InthesewordsLaurascentedareferencetoMother'ssmallincome,andgrewasredasfire.

InthelowestclassintheCollegeshesatbottom,foraweekormore:whatshedidknow,sheknewinsuchanawkwardformthatshemightaswellhaveknownnothing.Andafterafeweffortstobetterherconditionshegrewcautious,andhesitateddiscreetlybeforereturningoneofthoseingenuousanswerswhich,inthebeginning,hadmadeherthemerry-andrewoftheclass.Shecouldforinstance,readaFrenchstory-bookwithoutskippingverymanywords;butshehadneverheardasyllableofthelanguagespoken,andherfirstattemptsatpronunciationcausedevenMissZielinskitositbackinherchairandlaughtillthetearsrandownherface.HistoryLauraknewinavague,pictorialway:sheandPinhadenactedmanyastrikingsceneinthegarden--suchas"NotAnglesbutAngels,"or,didthepump-drainoverflow,Canuteandhissillycourtiers--andshealsohadout-of-the-wayscrapsof

informationaboutthecharactersofsomeofthemonarchs,or,asthegovernesshadcomplained,aboutthestateofLondonatacertainperiod;butshehadnevertroubledherheadwithdates.Nowtheyrosebeforeher,ahard,dry,blacklinefrom1066on,accompanied,notonlybythekingswhowerethecauseofthem,butbydulllaws,andtheirdullerrepeals.HerlessonsinEnglishalonegaveheramildpleasure;sheenjoyedtakingasentencetopiecestoseehowitwasmade.Shewasfondofwords,too,fortheirownsake,andonce,whenMissSnodgrasshadoccasiontousetheterm"eleemosynary",Laurawassoenchantedbyitthatshesoughttoshareherenthusiasmwithherneighbour.Thisgirl,afatlittleJewess,wentcrimson,fromtryingtostifleherlaughter.

"WhatISthematterwithyougirlsdownthere?"criedMissSnodgrass."CarrieIsaacs,whatareyoulaughinglikethatfor?"

"It'sLauraRambotham,MissSnodgrass.She'ssofunny,"splutteredthegirl.

"Whatareyoudoing,Laura?"

Lauradidnotanswer.Thegirlspokeforher.



"Shesaid--hee,hee!--shesaiditwasblue."

"Blue?What'sblue?"snappedMissSnodgrass.

"Thatword.Shesaiditwassobeautiful...andthatitwasblue."

"Ididn't.Grey-blue,Isaid,"murmuredLaurahercheeksaflame.

Theclassrocked;evenMissSnodgrassherselfhadtojoininthelaughwhileshehushedandreproved.Andsometimesafterthis,whenaparticularlylongoroddwordoccurredinthelesson,shewouldturntoLauraandsayjocosely:"Now,Laura,comeon,telluswhatcolourthatis.Redandyellow,don'tyouthink?"

Butthesewere"TomFool'scolours";andLaurakeptawisesilence.

Onedayatgeography,thepupilswererequiredtocopytheoutlineofthemapofEngland.Laura,abouttobegin,foundtoherdismaythatshehadlostherpencil.Toconfessthelossmeantoneofthehard,publicrebukesfromwhichsheshrank.Andso,whiletheothersdrew,headsandbacksbentlowovertheirdesks,shefidgetedandsought--onher[P.72]lap,thebench,thefloor.

"Whatonearth'sthematter?"askedherneighbourcrossly;itwasthe

black-hairedboarderwhohadwinkedatLaurathefirsteveningattea;hernamewasBerthaRamsey."Ican'tdrawastrokeifyoushakelikethat."

"I'velostmypencil."

ThegirlconsideredLauraforamoment,thenpushedthelidfromaboxoflong,beautifullysharpeneddrawing-pencils."Here,youcanhaveoneofthese."

Lauraeyedthewell-filledboxadmiringly,andmodestlyselectedtheshortestpencil.BerthaRamsay,havingfinishedhermap,leanedbackinherseat.

"Andnexttimeyoufeelinclinedtoboo-hooatthetea-table,holdontoyoureyebrowsandsingRuleBritannia.--DIDitwantitsmummy,pooricklesing?"

HereBertha'schum,agirlcalledInez,chimedinfromtheotherside.

"It'sallverywellforyou,"shesaidtoBertha,inadeep,slowvoice."You'reaweeklyboarder."

Laurahadthewishtobeverypleasant,inreturnforthepencil.Soshedrewasigh,andsaid,withover-emphasis:"Howniceforyourmothertohaveyouhomeeveryweek!"

Berthaonlylaughedatthis,inateasingway:"Yes,isn'tit?"ButInezleanedacrossbehindherandgaveLauraapoke.

"Shutup!"shetelegraphed.

"Who'stalkingdownthere?"camethegoverness'scry."Hereyou,thenewgirl,Laurawhat's--your-name,comeuptothemap."

AhugemapofEnglandhadbeenslungoveraneasel;Laurawasrequired



totakethepointerandshowwhereStaffordlay.Withthelongstickinherhand,shestoodstupidandconfused.Inthisexigency,itdidnothelpherthatsheknew,fromhear-say,justhowEnglandlooked;thatshecouldsee,infancy,itsever-greengrass,thickhedges,andspreadingtrees;itsnever-dryrivers;itshoaryoldcathedrals;itsfogs,andsea-mists,andover-populouscities.Shestoodfacetofacewiththemostpuzzlingmapintheworld--amapsearedandscoredwithboundary-lines,blackandbristlingwithnames.ShecouldnothavelaidherfingeronLondonatthismoment,andasforStafford,itmighthavebeeninthemoon.

Whiletheclassstraggledalongtheverandahattheendofthehour,InezcameuptoLaura'sside.

"Isay,youshouldn'thavesaidthatabouthermother."Shenoddedmysteriously.

"Whynot?"askedLaura,andcolouredatthethoughtthatshehadagain,withoutknowingit,beenguiltyofaFAUXPAS.

InezlookedroundtoseethatBerthawasnotwithinhearing,thenputherlipstoLaura'sear.

"Shedrinks."

Lauragapedincredulousatthegirl,heryoungeyesfullofhorror.Fromactualexperience,shehardlyknewwhatdrunkennessmeant;shehadhithertoassociateditonlywiththelowestclassofIrishagriculturallabourer,orwiththosedreadfulwhitewomenwholived,bychoice,inChineseCamps.Thattherecouldexistamotherwhodrankwasunthinkable...outsidetheboundsofnature.

"Oh,howawful!"shegasped,andturnedpalewithexcitement.Inezcouldnothelpgigglingattheeffectproducedbyherwords--thenewgirlwasa'rumstick'andnomistake--butasLaura'sconsternationpersisted,sheveeredabout

"Oh,well,Idon'tknowforcertainifthat'sit.Butthere'ssomethingawfullyqueerabouther."

"Oh,HOWdoyouknow?"askedherbreathlesslistener,masteredbyamorbidcuriosity.

"I'vebeenthere--atVaucluse--fromaSaturdaytillMonday.Shecameintolunch,andsheonlytalkedtoherself,nottous.Shetriedtoeatmustardwithherpuddingtoo,andhermeatwascutupinlittlepiecesforher.Iguessifshe'dhadaknifeshe'dhavecutourthroats."

"Oh!"wasallLauracouldgetout.

"IwassofrightenedmymothersaidIshouldn'tgoagain."

"Oh,Ihopeshewon'taskme.WhatshallIdoifshedoes?"

"Lookout,hereshecomes!Don'tsayaword.Bertha'sawfullyashamedofit,"saidInez,andLaurahadjusttimetogiveahastypromise.

"Hullo,youtwo,whatareyougassingabout?"criedBertha,anddealtoutacoupleofherroughandfriendlypunches.--"Isay,who'sonforaraceupthegarden?"



Theyraced,allthree,withflyingplaitsandcurls,muchkicking-upoflongblacklegs,andafrankdisplayoffrillsandtuckers.Laurawon;forInez'swindgaveouthalfway,andBerthawasheavyoffoot.LeaningagainstthepalingsLaurawatchedthelattercomepuffinguptojoinher--Berthawiththeshamefulsecretinthebackground,ofamotherwhowasnotlikeothermothers.

VIII.

Laurahadbeen,forsomesixweeksormore,alistlessandunsuccessfulpupil,whenonemorningshereceivedaninvitationfromGodmothertospendthecomingmonthlyholiday--fromSaturdaytillMonday--atPrahran.Themonthbefore,shehadbeenoneofthefewgirlswhohadnowheretogo;shehadbeenforcedtopretendthatshelikedstayingin,diditinfactbypreference.--Nowherspiritsrose.

Marina,Godmother'syoungerdaughter,fromwhomLaurainheritedherschool-books,wastocallforher.Byalittleafternineo'clockon

Saturdaymorning,Laurahadfinishedherweeklymending,tidiedherbedroom,andwasreadydressedeventohergloves.Itwasacool,crispday;andherheartbeathighwithexpectation.

Fromthedining-hall,itwasnotpossibletoheartheringingofthefront-doorbell;buteachtimeeitherofthemaidsenteredwithasummons,Laurahalfrosefromherchair,surethatherturnhadcomeatlast.Butitwashalf-pastnine,thenten,thenhalf-past;itstruckeleven,thebestofthedaywaspassing,andstillMarinadidnotcome.Onlytwogirlsbesidesherselfremained.Thenrespectivelyanauntandamotherwereannounced,andthesetwodeparted.Lauraalonewasleft:shehadtobearthedisgraceofMissDayobserving:"Well,itlooksasifYOURfriendshadforgottenallaboutyou,Laura."

Humiliatedbeyondmeasure,Laurahadthoughtsoftearingoffherhatandjacketanddeclaringthatshefelttooilltogoout.Butatlast,whenshewasalmostsickwithsuspense,Maryputhertidyheadinoncemore.

"MissRambothamhasbeencalledfor."

Laurawasonherfeetbeforethewordswerespoken.Shespedtothereception-room.

Marina,ashort,sleek-haired,soberlydressedgirlofabouttwenty,hadGodmother'sbrisk,matter-of-factmanner.

SheofferedLaurahercheektokiss."Well,Isupposeyou'rereadynow?"

Lauraforgaveherthepasttwohours."Yes,quite,thankyou,"sheanswered.

Theywentdowntheasphaltedpathandthroughthegarden-gate,andturnedtowalktownwards.ForthefirsttimesinceherarrivalLaurawasfreeagain--aprisoneratlarge.RoundthemstretchedthebroadwhitestreetsofEastMelbourne;attheirsidewasthethick,exoticgreenery



oftheFitzroyGardens;onthebrowofthehillrosethemassiveproportionsoftheRomanCatholicCathedral.--Lauracouldhavedanced,asshewalkedatMarina'sside.

Afterafewqueries,however,astohowshelikedschoolandhowshewasgettingonwithherlessons,Marinafelltocontemplatingastripofpaperthatsheheldinherhand.Lauragatheredthathercompanionhadcombinedthetaskofcallingforherwithamorning'sshopping,andthatshehadonlyworkedhalfthroughherlistofcommissionsbeforearrivingattheCollege.Atthenextcornertheygotontotheoutsidecarofacable-tramway,andwerecarriedintotown.HereMarinaenteredaco-operativegrocerystore,whereshewasgoingtogiveanorderforaquarter'ssupplies.Shewashermother'shousekeeper,andhadanincredibleknowledgeofgroceries,aswellasaseverelypracticalmind:shestuckherfinger-nailintobutter,tastedcheesesoffthebladeofaknife,ranherhandsthroughcurrants,nibbledbiscuits,discussedbrandsofburgundyanddesiccatedsoups--Laurameanwhilelookingon,fromahigh,uncomfortablechair,withasomewhathungryenvy.Wheneverything,downtopepperandsalt,hadbeenremembered,Marinafilledinacheque,andwasjustabouttoturnawaywhensherecollectedanaffairofsomeemptycases,whichshewishedtosendback.Anothertenminutes'parleyensued;shehadtoseethemanager,andwasclosetedwithhiminhisoffice,sothatbythetimetheyemergedintothestreetagainafullhourhadgoneby.

"Gettinghungry?"sheinquiredofLaura.

"Alittle.ButIcanwait,"answeredLaurapolitely.

"That'sright,"saidMarina,offwhoseownappetitetheedgehadnodoubtbeentakenbyhervariousnibblings."Nowthere'sonlythechemist."

Theyrodetoanotherstreet,enteredadruggist's,andthesamethingonasmallerscalewasrepeated,exceptthathereMarinadidnotasting,butforastraygelatineorjujube.Bythetimetheshopdoorclosedbehindthem,Lauracouldalmosthaveeatenliquoricepowder.Itwastwo

o'clock,andshewasfaintwithhunger.

"We'llbehomeinplentyoftime,"saidMarina,consultinganeatwatch."Dinner'snottillthreetoday,becauseoffather."

Againatramwayjerkedthemforward.Somehalfmilefromtheirdestination,Marinarose.

"We'llgetouthere.Ihavetocallatthebutcher's."

Ataquartertothree,itwasaverywhite-faced,exhaustedlittlegirlthatfollowedhercompanionintothehouse.

"Well,Iguessyou'llhaveafinehealthyappetitefordinner,"saidMarina,assheshowedherwheretohangupherhatandwashherhands.

Godmotherwasequallyoptimistic.Fromthesofaofthemorning-room,whereshesatknitting,shesaid:"Well,YOU'VEhadafinemorning'sgaddingaboutImustsay!Howareyou?Andhow'syourdearmother?"

"Quitewell,thankyou."

Godmotherscratchedherheadwithaspareneedle,andtheattentionshe



hadhadforLauraevaporated."Ihope,Marina,youtoldGravesaboutthoseemptyjam-jarshedidn'ttakebacklasttime?"

Marina,withoutliftinghereyesfromalettershewasreading,returned:"IndeedIdidn't.Hemadesucharumpusaboutthesugar-boxesthatIthoughtI'dtrytosellthemtoPeterseninstead."

Godmothergrunted,butdidnotquestionMarina'sdecision."Andwhatnewshaveyoufromyourdearmother?"sheaskedagain,withoutlookingatLaura--justassheneverlookedatthestockingsheheld,butalwaysoverthetopofit.

Here,however,thedinner-bellrang,andLaura,sparedthetaskofgivingmoresuperfluousinformation,followedthetwoladiestothedining-room.Theothermembersofthefamilywerewaitingatthetable.Godmother'shusband--hewasalawyer--wasamorose,black-beardedmanwho,forthemostpart,kepthiseyesfixedonhisplate.LaurahadhearditsaidthatheandGodmotherdidnotgetonwelltogether;shesupposedthismeantthattheydidnotcaretotalktoeachother,fortheyneverexchangedadirectword:iftheyhadtocommunicate,itwasdonebymeansofathirdperson.Therewastheelderdaughter,Georgina,dumpierandstillbrusquerthanMarina,theeldestson,abank-clerkwhowassomethingofadandyanddidnotwastecivilityonlittlegirls;andlastlythereweretwoboys,slightlyyoungerthan

Laura,black-haired,pug-nosed,pugnaciouslittlecreatures,whostoodinaweoftheirfather,andwereallthewilderwhennotunderhiseye.

Godmothermumbledablessing;andthesoupwaseateninsilence.

Duringthemeatcourse,thebank-clerkcomplainedinextremedispleasureofthewaythelaundresshadoflatedressedhiscollars--theseweresohighthat,asLaurawasnotslowtonotice,hehadtolookstraightdownthetwosidesofhisnosetoseehisplate--andannouncedthathewouldnotbehomefortea,ashehadanappointmenttomeetsome'chappies'atfive,andintheeveningwasgoingtotakealadyfriendtoBrock'sFireworks.Theseparticularswerereceivedwithoutcomment.Asthefamilyplieditspudding-spoons,Georginainherturnmadeastatement.

"Joey'scomingtotakemedrivingatfour."

Itlookedasifthisremark,too,wouldfounderonthegeneralindifference.ThenMarinasaidwarningly,asifrecallingherparent'sthoughts:"Mother!"

Awakened,Godmotherjerkedout:"IndeedandIhopeifyougoyou'lltaketheboyswithyou!"

"IndeedandIdon'tseewhyweshould!"

"Verywell,then,you'llstopathome.IfJoeydoesn'tchoosetocometo

thepoint-----"

"Nowholdyourtongue,mother!"

"I'lldonothingofthesort."

"Crikey!"saidtheyoungerboy,Erwin,inalowvoice."Joey'sgottotakeusriding."

"IfyouandJoeycan'tgetyourselvesproperlyengaged,"snapped



Godmother,"thenyoushan'tgodrivingwithouttheboys,andthat'stheendofit."

Likedogsbarkingatoneanother,thoughtLaura,listeningtothelovelessbandyingofwords--shewasunusedtothesnappishnessoftheIrishmanner,whichsoundssomuchworsethanitismeanttobe:andshewaschilledanewbyitwhen,overthetelephone,sheheardGeorgyholdingaheatedconversationwithJoey.

Hewasafatyoungman,withhangingcheeks,smalleyes,andalazy,lopsidedwalk.

"Hello--here'salittlegirl!What'sHERname?--Say,thiskiddycancomealongtoo."

AsithadleakedoutthatMarina'safternoonwouldbespentbetweentheshelvesofherstoreroom,preparingfortheincominggoods,Lauragratefullyacceptedtheoffer.

TheydrovetoMarlboroughTower.Withtheirbackstothehorsesatthetwoboys,mercilesslyalertforanydisplayoffondnessonthepartofthelovers;satLaura,withherstraight,inquisitiveblackeyes.HenceJoeyandGeorgyweresilent,since,excepttodeclaretheirfeelings,theyhadnothingtosaytoeachother.

TheTowerreached,themarewashitchedupandtheascentofthelightwoodenerectionbegan.Itwasablowyday.

"Boysfirst!"commandedJoey."Coso'thepetticuts."--Hisspeechwasaslazyashiswalk.

Hehimselfledtheway,followedbyErwinandMarmaduke,andLaura,atGeorgy'sbidding,wentnext.Sheclaspedherbitsofskirtsanxiouslytoherknees,forshewasjustasaversetothefrillsandflouncesthatlaybeneathbeingseenbyGeorgy,asbyanyofthemalemembersoftheparty.Georgycamelast,and,thoughnoonewasbelowher,sotightlywoundaboutwasshethatshecouldhardlyadvanceherlegsfromonestep

toanother.Joeylookedapproval;buttheboyssniggered,andkeptituptillGeorgy,havinggainedtheplatform,threatenedthemwitha"cloutonthehead".

Onthereturnjourneyadisputearosebetweenthelovers:itrelatedtotheshortestroadhome,waxedhot,andwasrapidlytakingonthedimensionsofaquarrel,whenthepiebaldmareshiedatatraction-engineandtriedtobolt.Joeygrippedthereins,andpassedhisfreearmroundGeorgy'swaist.

"Don'tbefrightened,darling."

Thoughthelowchaiserockedfromsidetosideandthereseemeda

likelihoodofitcapsizing,thetwoboyssquirmedwithlaughter,anddealtoutsundrynudges,kicksandpokes,allofwhichwerereceivedbyLaura,sittingbetweenthem.Sheherselfturnedred--withembarrassment.AtthesametimeshewonderedwhyJoeyshouldbelieveGeorgewasafraid;therewasnosignofitinGeorgy'smanner;shesatstolidandunmoved.Besidesshe,Laura,wasonlyalittlegirl,andfeltnofear.--ShealsoaskedherselfwhyJoeyshouldsuddenlygrowconcernedaboutGeorgy,when,amomentbefore,theyhadbeensorudetoeachother.--Thesewereinterestingspeculations,and,thechaisehavingceasedtosway,Lauragrewmeditative.



IntheeveningGodmotherhadavisitor,andLaurasatinalowchair,listeningtotheladies'talk.Itwasdullwork:for,muchasshelikedtoconsiderherself"almostgrownup",sheyetdetestedtheconversationof"realgrown-ups"withachild'sheartiness.Shewasgladwhennineo'clockstruckandMarina,lightingacandle,toldhertogotobed.

ThenextdaywasSunday.Betweenbreakfastandchurch-timeyawnedtwolonghours.GeorgywenttoaBible-class;Marinawasbusywithordersforthedinner.

Itwasabooklesshouse--likemostAustralianhousesofitskind:inMarina'sbedroomalonestoodasmallbookcasecontainingschoolandSundayschoolprizes.Laurawasveryfondofreading,andasshedressedthatmorninghadcastlonginglooksatthesevolumes,hadevenlyshylyfingeredtheglassdoors.Buttheywerelocked.Breakfastover,sheapproachedMarinaonthesubject.Thelatterproducedthekey,butonlyaftersomehaggling,forherideaofbookswastokeepthegiltontheircoversuntarnished.

"Well,atanyrateitmustbeaSundaybook,"shesaidungraciously.

ShedrewoutTHEGIANTCITIESOFBASHANANDSYRIA'SHOLYPLACES,andwiththisLauraretiredtothedrawing-room,whereGodmotherwasalready

settledfortheday,withasuitablemagazine.Whenthebellsbegantoclangtheyoungpeople,primlyhatted,theirprayer-booksintheirhands,walkedtotheneighbouringchurch.ThereLaurasatoncemorebetweentheboys,MarinaandGeorgystationedlikesentinelsattheendsofthepew,readytopouncedownontheirbrothersifnecessary,toconfiscateanimalsandeatables,ortorapimpishknuckleswithaBible.Itwasaspaciouschurch;thepewwasinasideaisle;onecouldseeneitherreading-desknorpulpit;andthewordsofthesermonseemedtocomefromagreatwayoff.

Afterdinner,Lauraandtheboysweredispatchedtothegarden,tostrollaboutinSundayfashion.Herenoelderpersonbeingpresent,thenaturalfeelingsofthetriocameout:thedistasteofaquietlittle

girlforroughboysandtheirpranks;theresentfulindignationoftheboysathavingtheirstepsdoggedbyasneakandatell-tale.Assoonastheyhadroundedthetennis-courtandwereoutofsightofthehouse,ErwinandMarmadukeclamberedoverthepalingsanddroppedintothestreet,vowingamysteriousvengeanceonLauraifshewentindoorswithoutthem.Thechildsatdownontheedgeofthelawnunderamulberrytreeandproppedherchinonherhands.Shewastootimidtoreturntothehouseandbravethingsout;shewasalsoafraidofsomeonecomingintothegardenandfindingheralone,andofherthenbeingforcedto"tell";formostofallshefearedtheboys,andtheirvague,rudethreats.Soshesatandwaited...andwaited.Theshadowsonthegrasschangedtheirshapesbeforehereyes;distantchapel-bellstinkledtheirquarterofanhourandwerestillagain;theblightingtorporofa

Sundayafternoonlayovertheworld.Wouldto-morrowevercome?Shecountedonherfingersthehoursthathadstilltocrawlbybeforeshecouldgetbacktoschool--countedtwiceovertobesureofthem--andallbutyawnedherheadoff,withennui.Buttimepassed,andpassed,andnothinghappened.Shewasonthevergeoftears,whentwoblackheadsbobbedupabovethefence,theboysscrambledover,redandbreathless,andhurriedherintotea.

Shewakenednextmorningatdaybreak,soeagerwasshetosetout.ButMarinahadahundredandoneoddjobstodobeforeshewasreadyto



start,anditstruckhalf-pastnineasthetwoofthemnearedtheCollege.Child-like,LaurafeltnospecialgratitudefortheheavypotofmulberryjamMarinaboreonherarm;butatsightofthestern,grey,stonebuildingshecouldhavedancedwithjoy;andonthefrontdoorswingingtobehindher,shedrewadeepsighofrelief.

IX.

Fromthismomenton--themomentwhenMarythemaid'spleasantsmilesalutedher--Laura'sopinionoflifeatschoolsufferedachange.Shewasgladtobeback--thatwasthefirstpoint:justasanadventuroussheepisgladtoregainthecoveroftheflock.Learningmightbehard;thegovernessesmercilesslysecureintheirownwisdom;buthereshewasatleastapersonofsomeconsequence,insteadofasatGodmother'samerenegligiblenull.

Ofherunluckyessayatholiday-makingshewrotehomeguardedly:themosttell-talesentenceinherletterwasthatinwhichshesaidshewouldrathernotgotoGodmother'sagaininthemeantime.Buttherewas

suchalackofwarmthinheraccountofthevisitthatmothermadethis,togetherwiththeaboveremark,thetextforascolding.

"YOU'REAVERYUNGRATEFULGIRL,"shewrote,"TOFORGETALLGODMOTHERHASDONEFORYOU.IFITHADN'TBEENFORHERSUPPLYINGYOUWITHBOOKSANDTHINGSICOULDN'THAVESENTYOUTOSCHOOLATALL.ANDIHOPEWHENYOUGROWUPYOU'LLBEASMUCHOFAHELPTOMEASMARINAISTOHERMOTHER.I'DMUCHRATHERHAVEYOUGOODANDUSEFULTHANCLEVERANDITHINKFORACHILDOFYOURAGEYOUSEETHINGSWITHVERYSHARPUNKINDEYES.TRYANDONLYTHINKNICETHINGSABOUTPEOPLEANDNOTBEALWAYSSPYINGOUTTHEIRFAULTS.THENYOU'LLHAVEPLENTYOFFRIENDSANDBELIKEDWHEREVERYOUGO."

Lauratookthestatementaboutthegoodnessandclevernesswithagrainofsalt:sheknewbetter.Motherthoughtittheproperthingtosay,andshewouldcertainlyhavepreferredthetwoqualitiescombined;but,hadshebeenforcedtochoosebetweenthem,therewassmalldoubthowherchoicewouldhavefallenout.Andif,forinstance,Lauraconfessedthatherteachersdidnotregardherasevenpassablyintelligent,therewouldbeaniceto-do.Mother'sambitionsknewnobounds;and,woundedinthese,shewasquitecapableofwritingpost-hastetoMrs.GurleyorMr.Strachey,complainingoftheirwantofinsight,andbringingforwardastringofembarrassingproofs.So,leavingMothertoherpleasingillusions,Laurasettleddownagaintoherroleofdunce,now,though,withmoreequanimitythanbefore.Schoolwasreallynotabadplaceafterall--thishadforsometimebeenher

growingconviction,andthevisittoGodmotherseemedtobringittoahead.

Aboutthistime,too,acoupleofpiecesofgoodfortunecameherway.

Thefirst:shewasprivilegedtobethirdinthefriendshipbetweenInezandBertha--afavourofwhichsheavailedherselfeagerly,thoughthethreewereasdifferentfromoneanotherasthreelittlegirlscouldbe.Berthawasagood-naturedromp,hard-fisted,thickofleg,andofaploddingbutineffectualindustry.Inez,ontheotherhand,wasso



prettythatLauranevertiredoflookingather:shehadapaleskin,hazeleyes,brownhairwithayellowlightinit,andaGreeknose.Hermouthwasverysmall;hernostrilsweremeretinyslits;andsolazywasshethatsheseldommorethanhalfopenedhereyes.Bothgirlswerewelloverfourteen,andveryfullydeveloped:comparedwiththem,Laurawaslikenothingsomuchasaskinnyyoungcolt.

Shewassogratefultothemfortoleratingherthatshenevertookupastandofrealequalitywiththem:proudandsensitive,shewasalwaysreadytodrawbackandadmittheirpriorrightstoeachother;hencethefriendshipdidnotadvancetointimacy.Butsuchasitwas,itwasverycomforting;shenolongerneededtositaloneinrecess;shecouldlinkarmsandwalkthegardenwithcomplacency;andmanywerethesuperciliousglancesshenowthrewatMariaMorellandthatclique;forhernewfriendsbelongedsociallytothebestsetintheschool.

Inanotherway,too,theircompanymadethingseasierforher:neitherofthemaimedhigh;andbothwerewellcontentwiththelowlyplacestheyoccupiedintheclass.AndsoLaura,whowasstill,inheryoungconfusion,unequaltodiscoveringwhatwaswantedofher,grewcomfortedbythepresenceandsupportofherfriends,andunmindfulofhigheropinion;andMissChapman,insupervisingeveninglessons,remarkedwithgenuineregretthatlittleLaurawasgrowingperkyandlazy.

Hersecondpieceofgoodluckwasofquiteadifferentnature.

MissHicks,thevisitinggovernessforgeography,hadagiftforsayingbitingthingsthatreallybit.SheboreInezapeculiargrudge;forshebelievedthatcertainfacultiesslumberedbehindtheGrecianprofile,andthatonlythegirl'singrainedslothpreventedthem.

Onedayshelostpatiencewiththissluggishpupil.

"I'lltellyouwhatitis,Inez,"shesaid;"you'reblessedwitharealwoman'sbrain:vague,slippery,inexact,interestedonlyinthepersonalaspectofathing.Youcan'tconcentrateyourthoughts,and,worstofall,you'venocuriosity--aboutanythingthatreallymatters.

Youtakeallthegreatfactsofexistenceontrust--justasahendoes--andI'venodoubtyou'llgooncontentedlytilltheendofyourdays,withouteverknowingwhytheoceanhastides,andwhatcausestheseasons.--Itmakesmeashamedtobelongtothesamesex."

Inez'sclassmatestitteredfuriously,letthesarcasmglideoverthem,unhitbyitstruth.Inezherself,indeed,wasinclinedtoconsiderthegoverness'stauntacompliment,asprovingthatshewasincapableofavulgarinquisitiveness.ButLaura,thoughshelaugheddocilelywiththerest,couldnotforgettheincident--wordsinanycasehadawayofstickingtohermemory--andwhatMissHickshadsaidoftencamebacktoher,inthedaysthatfollowed.Andthen,allofasudden,justasifaninvisiblehandhadopenedthedoortoaninnerchamber,alightbrokeon

her.Vague,slippery,inexact,interestedonlyinthepersonal--everywordstruckhome.HadMissHickssetouttodescribeHER,inparticular,shecouldnothavedoneitmoreaccurately.Itwasbuttootrue:untilnow,she,Laura,hadbeensatisfiedtoknowthingsinaslipslop,razzle-dazzleway,toknowthemanyhow,asitbestsuitedherself.Shehadneversettoworktomasterasubject,tomakeitherownineverydetail.Bitsofit,picturesquescraps,strikingfeatures--whatMissHicksnodoubtmeantbythepersonal--wereallthathadattractedher.--Oh,andshe,too,hadnointelligentcuriosity.Shecouldnotsaythatshehadeverteasedherbrainswithwonderingwhytheearth



wentroundthesunandnotthesunroundtheearth.Honestlyspeaking,itmadenodifferencetoherthattheglobewasindentedlikeanorange,andnottheperfectroundyoubeganbybelievingittobe.--Butifthiswereso,ifshewereforcedtomakethesegallingadmissions,thenitwasclearthathervauntedclevernesshadneverexisted,exceptinMother'simagination.Or,atanyrate,ithadcrumbledtopieceslikealumpofearth,underthehard,heavyhandofMissHicks.Laurafelthumiliated,andcouldnotunderstandhercompanionstreatingthemattersoairily.Shedidnotwanttohaveawoman'sbrain,thankyou;notoneofthatsort;andshesmartedforthewholeclass.

Straightwayshesettoworktosharpenherwits,tofollowthestraitroad.Atfirstwithsomestumbling,ofcourse,andfrequentbackslidings.Intellectualcuriositycouldnot,shediscovered,beawakenedtoorder;andsheoftencaughtherselfnapping.Thusthoughshespeedilybecameoneofthemosttroublesomeaskers-why,herdesireforinformationwasapttoexhaustitselfinputtingthequestion,andshewouldforgettolistentotheanswer.Besides,forthelifeofhershecouldnotdrumupmoreinterestin,say,thecourseoftheGulfStream,ortheformationofaplateau,thaninthefactthat,whenNellyBristowspoke,littlebubblescameoutofhermouth,andthatsheneededtoswallowtwiceasoftenasotherpeople;orthatwhenMissHicksgrewangryhervoicehadawayoffailing,atthecrucialmoment,andflatteningouttonothing--justasifonestrucktinafter

brass.No,itwasindeeddifficultforLauratoinvertthevalueofthesethings.--Inanotherdirectionshedidbetter.Bydintofcloseattention,ofponderingboththequestionsaskedbyMissHicks,andtherepliesmadebythecleverestpupils,shebegantoseemoreclearlywheretrueknowledgelay.Itwasfactsthatwerewantedofher;factsthatweretherealtestoflearning;factsshewasexpectedtoknow.Stories,picturesofthings,wouldnothelpheraninchalongtheroad.Thus,itwasnottheleastuseintheworldtohertohaveseenthesnowytopofMountKosciuskostandoutagainstadarkblueeveningsky,andtoknowitsshapetoatittlekin.Ontheotherhand,itmatteredtremendouslythatthismountainwas7308andnot7309feethigh:thatpieceofinformationwasvaluable,wasofgenuineusetoyou;foritwasworthyourplaceintheclass.

ThusdidLauraapplyherselftoreachtheschoolideal,thusforceherselftodrivehardnailsoffactintohervagrantthoughts.Andwithsuccess.Forshehad,itturnedout,aretentivememory,andtoherjoylearningbyheartcameeasytoher--aseasyastothemostbrilliantscholarsintheform.Fromnowonshegavethistalentfullplay,memorisingevenpagesofthehistorybookinherzeal;andbeforemanyweekshadpassed,inalllessonsexceptthoseinarithmetic--youcouldnot,alas!getsumsbyrote--shewasseparatedfromInezandBerthabythewidthoftheclass.

Butneitherhertasteoffriendshipanditscomforts,northeabruptchangeforthebetterinherclass-fortunes,couldcounterbalance

Laura'slucklessknackofputtingherfootinit.Thisshecontinuedtodo,inseasonandoutofseason.Andnotwiththeauthoritiesalone.

Therewas,forinstance,thatunfortunateeveningwhenshewasoneofthebatchofgirlsinvitedtoMrs.Strachey'sdrawingroom.Laura,ignorantofwhatitmeanttobeblasee,hadreceivedhernoteofinvitationwithathrill,hadevenenjoyedwriting,inherbesthand,theprescribedformulaofacceptance.Butshewasaloneinthis;bythemajorityofhercompanionstheseweeklypartieswerefranklyhated,the



chiefreasonbeingthateveryguestwasexpectedtotakeapieceofmusicwithher.Eventhetotallyunfithadtoshowwhattheycoulddo.Andthefactthatcream-tartswereservedforsupperwasnotheldtosquareaccounts.

"It'sallverywellforyou,"grumbledLaura'sroom-mate,LilithGordon,asshelatheredherthickwhitearmsandneckbeforedressing."You'reanewgirl;youprobablywon'tbeasked."

Lauradidnotgivethematterasecondthought:hastilyselectingavolumeofmusic,shefollowedtherestofthewhitedressesintothepassage.Theseniorgirltappedatthedrawingroomdoor.ItwasopenedbynootherthanthePrincipalhimself.

Inthegirls'eyes,Mr.Stracheystoodoversixfeetinhisstocking-soles.Hehadalsoamostarrogantwayoflookingdownhisnose,andoftugging,intolerantly,athislong,droopingmoustache.TherewaslittleneedforhimtoassumethefrigidcontemptuousnessofMrs.Gurley'smanner:hismerepresence,theveryunseeingnessofhisgaze,inspiredawe.Talesranofhiswrath,wereitroused;butfewhadexperiencedit.Hequelledthehighspiritsoftheseyoung[P.93]colonialsbyhisdignifiedairofdetachment.

Now,however,hestoodthereaffableandsmiling,endeavouringtoputa

handfulofawkwardgirlsattheirease.ButneitherhisnorMrs.Strachey'seffortsavailed.Itwasimpossibleforthepupilstothrowoff,atwill,thecripplingfearthatgovernedtheirrelationswiththePrincipal.Tothem,hisamiabilityresembledtheanticsofanuncertain-temperedelephant,withwhichyoucouldneverfeelsafe.--Besidesonthisoccasionitwasayoungbatch,andofparticularlymixedstations.Andsoadozengirls,fromtwelvetofifteenyearsold,satontheextremeedgesoftheirchairs,andrepliedtowhatwassaidtothem,withdrythroats.

Thoughtheyoungestoftheparty,Laurawastheleastembarrassed:shehadneverknownanursery,buthadmixedwithherelderssinceherbabyhood.Andshewasnotofashydisposition;indeed,shestillhadto

beremindeddailythatshynesswasexpectedofher.Soshesatandlookedabouther.Itwasaninterestingroominwhichshefoundherself.Lowbookshelves,threeshelveshigh,ranroundthewalls,andonthetopshelfweremanyoutlandishobjects.WhataneveningitwouldhavebeenhadMr.Stracheyinvitedthemtoexaminetheseornaments,ortohandlethebooks,insteadofhavingtopickupatitlehereandtherebychance.--Fromtheshelves,hereyesstrayedtothepicturesonthewalls;one,inparticularstruckherfancy.Ithungoverthemantelpiece,andwasaman'sheadseeninprofile,withalonghookednose,andwearingakindofpeakedcap.Butthatwasnotall:behindthisheadwereotherprofilesofthesameface,andseemingtocomeoutofclouds.Laurastaredhard,butcouldmakenothingofit.--Andmeanwhilehercompanionswererisingwithsicklysmiles,toseat

themselves,redasturkey-cocks'combs,onthepianostool,wherewithcold,stifffingerstheystumbledthroughthemovementofasonataorsonatina.

ItwasLilithGordonwhobrokethechainbyofferingtosing.ThediversionwaswelcomedbyMrs.Strachey,andLilithwenttothepiano.Buthernervousnesswassuchthatshebrokedownhalf-wayinthelittlepreludetotheballad.

Mrs.Stracheycametotherescue."It'ssodifficult,isitnot,to



accompanyoneself?"shesaidkindly."Perhapsoneoftheotherswouldplayforyou?"

Noonemoved.

"Doanyofyouknowthesong?"

Twoorthreeungraciouslyadmittedtheknowledge,butnonevolunteered.

ItwashereLaurachimedin."Icouldplayit,"shesaid;andcolouredatthesoundofherownvoice.

Mrs.Stracheylookeddoubtfullyatthethinlittlegirl."Doyouknowit,dear?You'retooyoungforsinging,Ithink."

"No,Idon'tknowit.ButIcouldplayitfromsight.It'squiteeasy."

Everyonelookeddisbelieving,especiallytheunhappysinger.

"I'veplayedmuchharderthingsthanthat,"continuedLaura.

"Well,perhapsyoumighttry,"saidMrs.Strachey,withtheingraineddistrustoftheunmusical.

Lauraroseandwenttothepiano,wheresheconductedthesongtoasuccessfulending.

Mrs.Stracheylookedrelieved."Veryniceindeed."AndtoLaura:"Didyousayyoudidn'tknowit,dear?"

"No,Ineversawitbefore."

Againtheladylookeddoubtful."Well,perhapsyouwouldplayussomethingyourselfnow?"

Laurahadnoobjection;shehadplayedtopeoplebeforeherfingerswerelongenoughtocovertheoctave.ShetookthevolumeofThalbergshehad

broughtwithher,selected"Home,SweetHome",andprancedin.

Heraudiencekeptuttersilence;but,hadshebeenalittlesharper,shewouldhavegraspedthatitwasthesilenceofamazement.Aftertheprimsonatinasthathadgonebefore,Thalberg'sfloridornamentshadashamelesssound.Herperformance,moreover,wasastartlingone;thefortepedalwashelddownthroughout;thebigchordswerecrashedandbangedwithallthestrengthapairoftwelve-year-oldarmscouldputintothem;andwrongnoteswerefreelyscattered.Still,rhythmandmelodywerewellmarked,andtherewasnomistakingtheagilityofthesmallfingers.

Deadsilence,too,greetedtheconclusionofthepieceSeveralgirls

wereveryred,fromtryingnottolaugh.ThePrincipaltuggedathismoustache,inabstractedfashion.

LaurahadreachedherseatagainbeforeMrs.Stracheysaidundecidedly:"Thankyou,dear.Didyou...hm...learnthatpiecehere?"

Laurasawnothingwrong."Oh,no,athome,"sheanswered."Iwouldn'tcaretoplaythethingsIlearnhere,topeople.They'resodull."



Agirlemittedafaintsqueak.ButahalfturnofMrs.Strachey'sheadsubduedher."Oh,Ihopeyouwillsoongettolikeclassicalmusicalso,"saidtheladygravely,andinallgoodfaith."Wepreferit,youknow,toanyother."

"DoyoumeanthingsliketheAIRINGWITHVARIATIONS?I'mafraidInevershall.There'snotuneinthem."

MusicwasasfataltoLaura'sequilibriumaswinewouldhavebeen.FindingherselfnextMr.Strachey,shenowturnedtohimandsaid,withwhatshebelievedtobeeaseofmanner:"Mr.Strachey,willyoupleasetellmewhatthatpictureishangingoverthemantelpiece?I'vebeenlookingatiteversinceIcamein,butIcan'tmakeitout.Arethoseghosts,thosethingsbehindtheman,orwhat?"

IttookMr.Stracheyaminutetorecoverfromhisastonishment.Hestrokedhard,andthelookhebentonLaurawasnotencouraging.

"Itseemstobeallthesameface,"continuedthechild,hereyesonthepicture.

"That,"saidMr.Strachey,withextremedeliberation:"thatistheportrait,byagreatpainter,ofagreatpoet--DanteAlighieri."

"Oh,Dante,isit?"saidLaurashowily--shehadonceheardthename."Oh,yes,ofcourse,Iknownow.Hewroteabook,didn'the,calledFAUST?Isawitovertherebythedoor.--Whatlovelybooks!"

ButhereMr.Stracheyabruptlychangedhisseat,andLaura'sthirstforinformationwasleftunquenched.

Theeveningpassed,andshewasinblessedignoranceofanythingbeingamiss,tillthenextmorningafterbreakfastshewasbiddentoMrs.Gurley.

Aquarterofanhourlater,onheremergingfromthatlady'sprivatesitting-room,hereyesweremereswollenslitsinherface.Instead,

however,ofspongingthemincoldwaterandbravelyjoiningherfriends,Laurawasstillfoolishenoughtohideandhavehercryout.Sothatwhenthebellrang,shewasobligedtogointopublicprayerslookingaprodigiousfright,andtherebyadvertisingtothecuriouswhathadtakenplace.

Mrs.Gurleyhadcrushedandhumiliatedher.Lauralearntthatshehadbeenguiltyofagrossimpertinence,inprofaningtheearsofthePrincipalandMrs.StracheywithThalberg'smusic,andthatallthepiecesshehadbroughtwithherfromhomewouldnowbetakenfromher.Secondly,Mr.Stracheyhadbeensounpleasantlyimpressedbytheboldnessofherbehaviour,thatshewouldnotbeinvitedtothedrawing-roomagainforsometimetocome.

ThematterofthemusictouchedLauralittle:iftheypreferredtheirdulloldexercisestowhatshehadofferedthem,somuchtheworseforthem.Butthereproachcastonhermannersstungherevenmoredeeplythanithaddonewhenshewasstilltherawlittlenewcomer:forshehadbeenplumingherselfoflatethatshewasnow"quitethething".

Andyet,painfulaswasthisfreshoverthrowofherpride,itwasneithertheworstnorthemostlastingresultoftheincident.Thatconcernedherschoolfellows.Bythefollowingmorningthetaleofher



doingswasknowntoeveryone.Itwascirculatedinthefirstplace,nodoubt,byLilithGordon,whoboreheragrudgeforheroffertoaccompanythesong:hadLauranotputherselfforwardinthisobjectionableway,Lilithmighthaveescapedsingingaltogether.Lilithalsoresentedherhavingshownthatshecoulddoit--andthisfeelingwasgenerallyshared.Itevidencedawantofgood-fellowship,andmadeyouverygladthelittleprighadafterwardscometogrief:ifyouhadabilitiesthatothershadnotyouconcealedthem,insteadofparadingthemunderpeople'snoses.

Inshort,Laurahadcommittedatwofoldbreachofschooletiquette.Nooneofcoursevouchsafedtoexplainthistoher;thesethingsonedidnotputintowords,thingsyouwereexpectedtoknowwithouttelling.Hence,shenevermorethanhalfunderstoodwhatshehaddone.Sheonlysawdisapprovalpaintedonfacesthathadhithertobeenneutral,andfromoneortwoquartersgotwhatwasunmistakablythecoldshoulder.--Herlittlebeginningsatpopularityhadsomehowreceivedasetback,andthroughherownfoolishbehaviour.

X.

Thelessonwenthome;Laurabegantomodelherselfmoreandmoreonthosearoundher;tograspthattheunpardonablesinistovaryfromthecommonmould.

InAugust,afterthemidwinterholidays,shewaspromotedtothesecondclass;shebeganLatin;andasarewardwasallowedbyMothertowearherdressesaninchbelowherknees.Shebecameaquick,adaptablepupil,withaparrot-likememory,andattheendoftheschoolyeardelightedMother'sheartwithacoupleofhighlygiltvolumes,ofnegligiblecontents.

Athome,duringthosefirstholidays,shegavehersisterandbrotherscoldcreepsdowntheirspines,withherstoriesofthegreatdoingsthattookplaceatschool;andnoneofherclass-mateswouldhaverecognisedinthisarrantdrawer-of-the-long-bow,theunluckylittleblunderbussoftheearlydays.

Onherreturn,Laura'scircleoffriendswasenlarged.Themorningafterherarrival,onenteringthedining-hall,shefoundanewgirlstandingshyandawkwardbeforethefireplace.ThiswasthedaughterofamillionairesquatternamedMacnamara;andthereportofherfather'swealthhadprecededher.Yethereshenowhadtohangabout,alone,unhappy,thetargetofalleyes.ItmightbesupposedthatLaurawouldfeelsomesympathyforher,havingsorecentlyundergonethesame

experienceherself.Butthatwasnotherway.Sherejoiced,inbarbarianfashion,thatthisgirl,olderthanshebyaboutayear,andofahighersocialstanding,shouldhavetoendurealikeordeal.Staringheartlessly,sheaccentuatedherpartofoldgirlknowingalltheropes,andwassoinclinedtoshowoffthatsheletherselfinforasnubfromMissSnodgrass.

TillyMacnamarajoinedLaura'sclass,andthetwoweresoongoodfriends.



Tillywasashort,plumpgirl,withwhiteteeth,ratherboyishhands,andtheblue-greyeyespredominantinAustralia.Shewasusuallydressedinsilk,andsheneverworeanaprontoprotectthefrontofherfrock.Naturally,too,shehadabottomlesssupplyofpocket-money:ifasubscriptionwereraised,shegavetenshillingswhereothersgaveone;andontheSaturdayholidayssheflungaboutwithhalf-crownsasLaurawouldhavebeenafraidtodowithpennies.

Forthelatterwithhertinydole,whichhadtolastsoandsolong,sincenomorewasforthcoming,itwasadifficulttasktomovegracefullyamongcompanionsnoneofwhomknewwhatitmeanttobereallypoor.Manytrivialmortificationsweretheresult;andcountlesssmallsubterfugeshadtoberesortedto,topreventitleakingoutjusthowpaltryherallowancewas.

Butthequestionofmoneywas,afterall,trifling,comparedwiththeinfinitelymoreimportantoneofdress.

Withregardtodress,Laura'stroublesweremanifold.Itwasnotonlythathere,too,byreasonofMother'sstraitenedmeans,shewasforcedtoremainanoutsider:that,initself,shewouldhaveborne[P.101]lightly;for,aslittlegirlsgo,shewasindifferenttofinery.Hadshehadacoupleofnewfrocksayear,inwhichshecouldhavebeenneatandunremarkable,shewouldhavebeenmorethancontent.But,fromher

babyhoodon,Laura--andPinwithher--hadlamentedthefactthatchildrencouldnotgoaboutcladinsacks,mercifullyindistinguishableonefromanother.Fortheywerethedaughtersofanimaginativemother,and,balkedinotheroutlets,thisimaginationhadwreakeditselfontheirclothing.Allhershortlifelong,Laurahadsufferedunderahome-made,picturesquestyleofdress;andshehadresented,withaviolenceevenMotherdidnotgauge,thisuseofheryoungbodyasapegonwhichtohangfantasticgarments.Afterhertenthbirthdayshewas,shethankedgoodness,consideredtoooldforthequaintshapesbeneathwhichPinstillgroaned;butthereremainedthematterofcolourforMothertosinagainst,andinthissheseemedtogrowmoreintemperateyearbyyear.Herselfdressedalwaysinthesoberestbrownsandblacks,shelikedtoseeheryoungflockgayasParadisebirds,lightingupa

drabworld;andwhenMotherlikedathing,shewasnotgiventoconsultingthewishesoflittlepeople.Thosewereawfultimeswhenshewent,say,toMelbourne,andboughtasabargainawholerollofclothofanimpossiblecolour,whichhadtobeutilisedtothelastinch;orwhensheunearthed,fromanoldtrunk,someantiquatedgarmenttobecutupandreshaped--aPaisleyshawl,apuceball-dress,evenanoldpairofgreenrepcurtains.

ItwasthusaheavyblowtoLauratofind,ongoinghome,thatMotherhadalreadyboughthernewspringdress.Inonerespectallwaswell:ithadbeenmadebythelocaldressmaker,andconsequentlyhadnotthehome-madecutthatLauraabhorred.Butthecolour!Herheartfelltothepitofherstomachthemomentsheseteyesonit,andonlywith

difficultydidsherestrainhertears.--Motherhadchosenavividpurple,ofacrude,old-fashionedshade.

Now,quiteapartfromherpersonalfeelings,Laurahadcometoknowveryexactly,duringthefewmonthsshehadbeenatschool,theviewsheldbyhercompanionsonthesubjectofcolour.Nomatterhowsumptuousorhowsimplethematerialofwhichthedresswasmade,itmustbedark,orofadelicatetint.Brilliancywasasignofvulgarity,andputtheweareroutsidethebettercircles.Hence,atthiscriticaljuncture,whenLaurawasstrivingtoapeherfellowsinallvitalmatters,theunpropitious



adventofthepurplethreatenedtoundoher.

Afterherfirstdismayedinspection,sheretreatedtothebottomofthegardentogiveventtoherfeelings.

"Ishallneverbeabletowearit,"shemoaned."Oh,howCOULDshebuysuchathing?AndIneededanewdresssoawfully,awfullymuch."

"Itisn'treallysobad,Laura,"pleadedPin."It'lllookdarker,I'msure,ifyou'vegotiton--andifyoudon'tgooutinthesun."

"Youhaven'tgottowearit.Itwaspiggishofyou,Pin,perfectlypiggish!YouMIGHThavewatchedwhatshewasbuying."

"Idid,Laura!"asseveratedPin,onthebrinkoftears."TherewasanicedarkbrownandIsaidtakethat,youwouldlikeitbetter,andshesaidholdyourtongue,anddidIthinkshewasgoingtodressyouasifyouwereyourowngrandmother."

ThisdresshungforweeksinthemostprivatecornerofLaura'sschoolwardrobe.Hercompanionshadallreturnedwithnewoutfits,andonthefirstassemblageforchurchtherewasagreatmusteringofoneanother,bothbygirlsandteachers.Laurawastheonlyonetodescendinthedressshehadwornthroughoutthewinter.Herheartwassorewith

bitterness,andwhenthehandfulofEpiscopaliansweremarchingtoStStephen's-on-the-Hill,shestrovetosootheherownwound.

"Ican'tthinkwhymydresshasn'tcome,"shesaidgratuitously,outofthishurt,withanobliqueglancetoseehowherpartnertooktheremark:itwasthegood-naturedMariaMorell,whowasresplendentinvelvetandfeathers."Iexpectthatstupiddressmakercouldn'tgetitdoneintime.I'vewaitedforitalltheweek."

"Whatasell!"saidMaria,butwithmediocreinterest;forshehadcockedhereyeataharmless-lookingyouth,whowasdoinghisbestnottoblushonpassingthelineofgirls.--"Isay,dolookatthattoffmakingeyes.Isn'theananny-goat."

OnseveralsubsequentSundays,Laurafingered,inanagonyofindecision,thepleasingstuffofthedress,andruefullyconsidereditsmodishcut.Once,noonebeingpresent,sheeventookitoutofthewardrobe.Butthemercilessspringsunshineseemedtomakethepurpleshootfire,toletlooseahostofothercoloursitinaswell,and,withashudder,shere-hungitonitspeg.

Buttheevildaycame.AfteraholidayatGodmother's,shereceivedahotletterfromMother.Godmotherhadcomplainedofherlooking"dowdy",andMotherwasexceedinglycross.LaurawasorderedtospendthecomingSaturdayaswellatPrahran,andinhernewdress,underpenaltyofacorrespondencewithMrs.Gurley.Therewasnogoing

againstanorderofthiskind,andwithdeathatherheartLaurapreparedtoobey.Onthefatalmorningshedawdledaslongaspossibleoverhermending,thuspostponingdressingtogoouttilltheothershadvacatedthebedroom;where,inordernottobeforcedtoseeherself,shekepthereyeshalfshut,andturnedthelooking-glasshind-before.Althoughitwasawarmday,shehungacloakoverhershoulders.Butherarmspeepedoutoftheloosesleeves,andatleastafootofskirtwasvisible.Asshewalkedalongthecorridoranddownthestairs,sheseemedtosmudgetheplacewithcolour,and,directlysheenteredthedining-hall,comet-likeshedrewalleyesuponher.Astonished



titteringsfollowedinherwake;eventheteachersgoggledher,afterwardstoputtheirheadstogether.Inthereception-roomMarinaremarkedatonce:"Hullo!--isTHISthenewdressyourmotherwroteusabout?"

Outside,thingswerenobetter;theverytram-conductorswerefascinatedbyit;andeverypasser-bywasafreshobjectofdread:Laurawaited,herhearta-thump,forthemomentwhenheshouldraisehiseyesand,withastartofattention,becomeawareofthescreamingcolour.AtGodmother'sallthefacesdisapproved:Georginasaid,"Whataguy!"whenshethoughtLaurawasoutofearshot;buttheboysstatedtheiropinionopenlyassoonastheyhadhertothemselves.

"Oh,golly!Likeaparrot--ain'tshe?"

"Thiswaytothepurpleparrot--thisway!Stepup,ladiesandgentlemen!Apennythewholeshow!"

Thatevening,shetorethedressfromherbackand,hangingitupinsidethecloak,vowedthat,comewhatmight,shewouldneverputitonagain.Adayortwolater,onunexpectedlyenteringherbedroom,shefoundLilithGordonandanothergirlatherwardrobe.Theygrewveryred,andhurriedgigglingfromtheroom,butLaurahadseenwhattheywerelookingat.Afterthis,shetiedthedressupwithstringandbrown

paperandhiditinadrawer,underhernightgowns.WhenshewenthomeatChristmasitwentwithher,stillintheparcel,andthentherewasastormyscene.ButLaurawasstubborn:ratherthanwearthedress,shewouldnotgobacktotheCollegeatall.Mother'shearthadbeensoftenedbytheprizes;Lauraseizedtheoccasion,andextractedapromisethatsheshouldbeallowedinfuturetochooseherownfrocks.--AndsothepurpledresswaspassedontoPin,whodetesteditwithequalheartiness,but,livingunderMother'seye,hadnotthespirittofightagainstit.

"Gotanythingnewinthewayofclothes?"askedLilithGordonassheandLauraundressedforbedanightortwoaftertheirreturn.

"Yes,one,"saidLaurashortly.--ForshethoughtLilithwinkedatthethirdgirl,apublican'sdaughterfromClunes.

"Anotherlikethelast?Orhaveyougoneinforyellowochrethistime?"

Lauraflamedinsilence.

"GreatScott,whatacolourthatwas!FitforanEasterFair--MissDaysaidso."

"Itwasn'tmine,"retortedLaurapassionately."It...itbelongedtoagirlIknewwhodied--andhermothergaveittomeasaremembranceofher--butIdidn'tcareforit."

"Ishouldn'tthinkyoudid.--ButIsay,doesyourmotherletyouwearotherpeople'sclothes?Whatarummythingtodo!"

Shewentoutoftheroom--nodoubttospreadthispieceofgossipfurther.Lauralookeddaggersafterher.ShewasangryenoughwithLilithforhavinggoadedhertothelie,butmuchangrierwithherselfforitsblunderingineffectualness.Itwasnotlikelyshehadbeenbelieved,andifshewere,well,itmademattersworseinsteadofbetter:peoplewouldconcludethatshelivedoncharity.Alwayswhen



unexpectedlyrequiredtostandonthedefensive,shesaidordidsomethingfoolish.Thatmorning,forinstance,asimilarthinghadhappened--ithadrankledalldayinhermind.Onlookingthroughthewashing,MissDayhadexclaimedinhorroratthewayinwhichherstockingsweremended.

"Whoeverdidit?They'vebeendonesinceyoulefthere.Iwouldneverhavepassedsuchdams."

Lauracrimsoned."Those?Oh,anoldnursewe'vegotathome.We'vehadherforyearsandyears--buthereyesight'sgoingnow."

MissDaysniffedaudibly."SoIshouldthink.Tocobblelikethat!"

TheywereMother'sdams,hastilymade,lateatnight,andwithallMother'sgenialimpatienceatusefulsewingasopposedtobeautiful.Laura'sintentionhadbeentoshieldMotherfromcriticism,aswellastospareMissDay'sfeelings.Buttohavedoneitsoclumsilyasthis!TohavehadtowinceunderMissDay'sscepticism!Itwasonlyawonderthegovernesshadnotthereandthentaxedherwiththefib.Forwhobelievedinoldnursesnowadays?Theywereastockproperty,borrowedonthespurofthemomentfromreadingsinTHEFAMILYHERALD,fromTennyson'sLADYCLARE.Whyonearthhadsuchafar-fetchedexcuseleapttohertongue?WhycouldshenothavesaidSarah,theservant,the

maid-of-all-work?ThenMissDaywouldhavehadnochancetosniff,andshe,Laura,couldhavebelievedherselfbelieved,insteadofhavingtofretoverherownstupidity.--Butwhatshewouldlikemorethananythingtoknowwas,whythemendingofthestockingsathomeshouldNOTbeSarah'swork?WhymustitjustbeMother--hermotheralone--whomadeherselfsodisagreeablyconspicuous,andnotmerelybydarningthestockings,but,whatwasastillgreatergrievance,bynotevendarningthemwell?

XI.

Itwasanoddthing,allthesame,howeasyitwastobefriendswithLilithGordon:thoughshedidnotbelongtoLaura'ssetthoughLauradidnotevenlikeher,andthoughshehadhadampleproofthatLilithwasdouble-faced,nottobetrusted.Yet,inthemonthsthatfollowedtheaffairofthepurpledress,Lauragrewmoreintimatewiththeplump,sandy-hairedgirlthanwitheitherBertha,orInez,orTilly.Or,toputitmoreexactly,shewascontinuallyhavinglapsesintointimacy,andrepentingthemwhenitwastoolate.InonewayLilithwasresponsibleforthis:shecouldmakeherselfverypleasantwhenshechose,seemtobeyourfriendthroughthickandthin,thusluringyouontounbosom

yourself;andafterwardsshewouldgoawayandlaughoverwhatyouhadtoldher,withothergirls.AndLaurawaspeculiarlyhelplessundersuchcircumstances:ifitwasdonewithtact,andwithacertainassumedwarmthofmanner,anyonecouldmakeacat's-pawofher.

ThatLilithandsheundressedforbedtogetherhadalsosomethingtodowiththeirintimacy:thishalf-hourwhenone'shairwasunboundandreplaited,andfatandthinarmswieldedthebrush,wasthetimeofallothersforconfidences.Thegovernesswhooccupiedthefourthbeddidnotcomeupstairstillteno'clock;thepublican'sdaughter,alazy



girl,wasusuallyhalfasleepbeforetheothertwohadtheirclothesoff.

ItwasinthecourseofoneoftheseconfidentialchatsthatLauradidaveryfoolishthing.Inamomentofweakness,shegratuitouslygaveawaythesecretthatMothersupportedherfamilybytheworkofherhands.

ThetwogirlsweresittingonthesideofLilith'sbed.Laurahadadayofmishapsbehindher--thatpartly,nodoubt,accountedforherself-indulgence.But,inaddition,hercompanionhadjusttoldher,unasked,thatshethoughther"verypretty".ItwasnotinLaura'snaturetoletthispass:shewasneverateaseunderanobligation;shehadtopaythecoinbackinkind.

"Embroidery?Whatsort?Howeverdoesshedoit?"--Lilith'sinterestwasontiptoeatonce--afalseandslimyinterest,thevictimafterwardstoldherself.

"Oh,mymother'sawfullyclever.It'sjustlovely,too,whatshedoes--allinsilk--andeversomanydifferentcolours.Shemadeapiano-coveronce,andgotfiftypoundsforit."

"Howperfectlysplendid!"

"Butthatwasonlyaluckychance...thatshegotthattodo.Shemostlydoeschildren'sdressesandcloaksandthingslikethat."

"Butshe'snotadressmaker,isshe?"

"Adressmaker?Ishouldthinknotindeed!They'resentup,allreadytowork,fromthebiggestshopsintown."

"Isay!--shemustbeclever."

"Sheis;shecandoanything.Shemakesthepatternsupalloutofherownhead."--AndfilledwithprideinMother'saccomplishmentsand

Lilith'sappreciationofthem,Laurafellasleepthatnightwithoutaqualm.

Itwasthenextevening.Severaloftheboarderswhohadfinishedpreparingtheirlessonswereloiteringinthedining-hall,LauraandLilithamongthem.InthegroupwasagirlcalledLucy,youngbutverysaucy;forshelivedatToorak,andcameofoneofthebestfamiliesinMelbourne.ShewasnotasoldasLaurabytwoyears,butwasalreadyfearedandrespectedforthefinescornofheropinions.

LilithGordonhadbragged:"Myuncle'spromisedmeagoldwatchandchainwhenIpassmatric."

LucyofTooraklaughed:hernosecamedown,andhermouthwentupatthecorners."Doyouthinkyoueverwill?"

"G.o.k.andHewon'ttell.ButI'llprobablygetthewatchallthesame."

"Wheredoesyourunclehangout?"

"Brisbane."



"Surehecanaffordtobuyit?"

"Ofcoursehecan."

"Whatishe?"

Lilithwasunluckyenoughtohesitate,eversoslightly."Oh,he'sgotplentyofmoney,"sheasserted.

"Shedoesn'tliketosaywhatheis!"

"Idon'tcarewhetherIsayitornot."

"Abutcher,p'raps,oranundertaker?"

"Abutcher!He'sgotthebiggestnewspaperinBrisbane!"

"Anewspaper!GreatScott!Herunclekeepsanewspaper!"

Therewasaburstoflaughterfromthosestandinground.

Lilithwasscarletnow."It'snothingtobeashamedof,"shesaidangrily.

ButLucyofToorakcouldnotrecoverfromheramusement."Anunclewhokeepsanewspaper!Anewspaper!Well,I'mgladnoneofMYunclesaresorummy.--Isay,doesheleaveitatfrontdoorshimselfinthemorning?"

Laurahadatfirstlookedpassivelyon,wellpleasedtoseeanotherthanherselfthebuttofyoungLucy'swit.Butatthisstageofherexistenceshewastoointentoncurryingfavour,tosidewithanybutthestrongerparty.AndsoshejoinedintheboisterousmirthLilith'sadmissionandLucy'sreceptionofitexcited,andflunghergibeswiththerest.

Shewaspulledupshortbyahissinginherear."Ifyousayonewordmore,I'lltellabouttheembroidery!"

Laurawentpalewithfright:shehadbeeningoodspiritsthatday,andhadquiteforgottenhersillyconfidenceofthenightbefore.Now,thejeerthatwasonthetipofhertonguehungfire.Shecouldnotallatonceobliteratehersmile--thatwouldhavebeennoticeable;butitgrewweaker,stifferandmoreunnatural,thengraduallyfadedaway,leavingherwithaverysolemnlittleface.

Fromthisnighton,LilithGordonrepresentedapowder-mine,whichmightexplodeatanyminute.--Andsheherselfhadlaidthetrain!

Fromtheoutset,Laurahadbeenaccepted,socially,byeventhemostexclusive,asoneofthemselves;andthis,inspiteofherniggardlyallowance,herridiculousclothes.Forthechildhadracein

her:inawell-sethead,ingoodhandsandfeetandears.Hernose,too,hadaverypronounceddroop,whichcouldstandonlyforblueblood,oraHebraicancestor--andJewswerenotreceivedasboardersintheschool.Now,loudasmoneymadeitselfinthisyoungcommunity,effectualasitwasincloakingshortcomings,itdidnotgoalltheway:inheritedinstinctsandtraditionswerenotsoeasilysubdued.Justsomeofthewealthiest,too,wereawarethattheirantecedentswouldnotstandaclosescrutiny;andthusamightyrespectwasengenderedinthemforthosewhohadnothingtofear.Moreover,directlyyougotawayfromthevastlyrich,classdistinctionswereobservedwithanexactitudesuchas



canonlyobtaininanexceedinglymixedsociety.Thethreeprofessionsaloneweresacrosanct.Thecallingofarchitect,forexample,orofcivilengineer,was,ifafortunehadnotbeenaccumulated,utterlywithoutprestige;trade,anyconnectionwithtrade--themerestbowingacquaintancewithbuyingandselling--wasataintthatnothingcouldremove;andthosegirlswhowererelatedtoshopkeepers,or,moreawfulstill,topublicans,wouldratherhavebittentheirtonguesoffthanhaveownedtothedisgrace.

YetLauraknewverywellthatgoodbirthandanaristocraticappearancewouldnotavailher,didthedamagingfactleakoutthatMotherworkedforherliving.Workinitselfwasbadenough--howgreatlytobeenviedwerethosewhosefathersdidnothingmoreactivethanliveontheirmoney!ButtheadditionalcircumstanceofMotherbeingawomanmadethingstentimesworse:ladiesdidnotwork;someonealwaysleftthemenoughtoliveon,andifhedidn't,well,thenhe,too,sharedtheignominy.SoLaurawentinfearandtremblinglestthetruthshouldcometolight--inthatcase,shewouldbeapariahindeed--wentinhourlydreadofLilithbetrayingher.Nothing,however,happened--atleastasfarasshecoulddiscover--andshesoughttopropitiateLilithineverypossibleway.Forthetimebeing,though,anxietyturnedherintoaporcupine,readytoerectherquillsatatouch.Shewaseveronthelook-outforanallusiontohermother'sposition,andfortheslightthatwasboundtoaccompanyit.

Eventhegovernessesnoticedthechangeinher.

ThreeofthemsatoneeveningroundthefireinMrs.Gurley'ssitting-room,withtheirfeetonthefender.Thegirlshadgonetobed;itwasMrs.Gurley'snightoff,andasMissDaywasalsoonleave,thethreewhowereleftcoulddrawinmorecloselythanusual.MissSnodgrasshadmadethebreadintotoast--inspiteofMissChapman'squakingslestMrs.Gurleyshouldnoticethesmellwhenshecamein--and,astheymunched,MissSnodgrassrelatedhowshehadjustconfiscatedabookLauraRambothamwastryingtosmuggleupstairs,andhowithadturnedoutthatitbelonged,nottoLauraherself,buttoLilithGordon.

"Shewaslikealittlespitfireaboutitallthesame.Amostobjectionablechild,Icallher.ItwasonlyyesterdayIwantedtolookatsomeembroideryonherapron--aratherprettynewstitch--anddoyouthinkshe'dletmeseeit?Shejerkeditawayandglaredatmeasifshewouldhavelikedtoeatme.Icouldhaveboxedherears."

"IneverhaveanytroublewithLaura.Idon'tthinkyouknowhowtomanageher,"saidMissChapman,andexecutedalittlemanoeuvre.Shehadpoorteeth;and,havingawaitedamomentwhenMissSnodgrass'ssharpeyeswereelsewhereengaged,shesurreptitiouslydroppedthecrustsofthetoastintoherhandkerchief.

"I'dbesorrytotreatherasyoudo,"saidMissSnodgrass,andyawned."Girlsneedtobemadetositupnowadays."

Sheyawnedagain,andgazingroundtheroomforfreshfoodfortalk,caughtMissZielinskiwithhereye."Hullo,Ziely,whatareyoudeepin?"Sheputherarmroundtheother'sneck,andunceremoniouslylaidholdofherbook."Younaughtygirl,you'reatOuidaagain!Alwaysgotyournosestuckinsometrashynovel."

"DOletmealone,"saidMissZielinskipettishly,holdingfasttothe



book;butshedidnotraisehereyes,fortheywerewet.

"Youknowyou'llcountthewashingallwrongagainto-morrow,yourhead'llbesofullofthatstuff."

"Yes,it'stimetogo,girls;to-morrow'sSaturday."AndMissChapmansighed;for,onaSaturdaymorningbetweensixandeighto'clock,fifty-fivelotsofwashinghadtobesortedoutandarrangedinpiles.

"HolyMoses,whatalife!"ejaculatedMissSnodgrass,andyawnedagain,inakindoffuriousdesperation."IswearI'llmarrythefirstmanthatasksme,togetawayfromit.--Aslongashehasmoneyenoughtokeepmedecently."

"Youwouldsoonwishyourselfback,ifyouhadnomorefeelingforhimthatthat,"reprovedMissChapman.

"Catchme!Notevenifhehadahump,orkeptamistress,orwasovereighty.Ohdear,ohdear!"--shestretchedherselfsoviolentlythatherbonescracked;toresume,inatoneofordinaryconversation:"IdowishIknewwhethertoputabrownwingoragreenoneinthatblessedhatofmine."

MissChapman'sfacestraightenedoutfromitsshockedexpression."Your

hat?Whydoyouwanttochangeit?It'sveryniceasitis."

"MydearMissChapman,it'satleastsixmonthsoutofdate.--Ziely,you'recrying!"

"I'mnot,"saidMissZielinskiweakly,caughtintheactofblowinghernose.

"Howonearthcanyoucryoverabook?Asifitweretrue!"

"IthankGodIhaven'tsuchacoldheartasyou."

"AndIthankGodI'mnotaromanticidiot.Butyourname'snotThekla

fornothingIsuppose."

"Myname'sasgoodasyours.AndIwon'tbelookeddownonbecausemyfatherwasonceaGerman."

"'Mr.Kayser,doyouvanttobuyadawg?'"hummedMissSnodgrass.

"Girls,girls!"admonishedMissChapman."Howyoutwodobicker.--There,that'sMrs.Gurleynow!Andit'slongpastten."

Atthecreakingofthefrontdoorbothjuniorsrose,gatheredtheirbelongingstogether,andhurriedfromtheroom.Butitwasafalsealarm;andhavingpickedupsomecrumbsandsetthechairsinorder,

MissChapmanresumedherseat.Asshewaited,shelookedaboutherandwondered,withasigh,whetheritwouldeverbehergoodfortunetocallthischeerylittleroomherown.Itwasonlyatmomentslikethepresentthatshecouldindulgesuchadream.DidMrs.Gurleystandbeforeher,majesticinbonnetandmantle,asinaminuteortwoshewould,ordrapedinhergreatshawl,thoughtsofthiskindsanktotheirproperlevel,andMissChapmanknewthemforwhattheywereworth.Butsittingalonebynight,herchininherhand,hereyesonthedyingfire,aroundhertheeeriestillnessofthegreathouse,herambitiondidnotseemwhollyoutofreach;and,givingreintoherfancy,she



couldpictureherselfsweepingthroughhallsandrooms,issuingordersthatitwasthebusinessofotherstofulfil,couldeventhinkoutafewchangesthatshouldbemade,weresheheadofthestaff.

ButtheinsertionofMrs.Gurley'skeyinthelock,thesoundofherfootontheoilcloth,wasenoughtowakenasenseofguiltinMissChapman,andmakeherstarttoherfeet--thedrab,elderly,apologeticgovernessoncemore.

XII.

DAREGIERTDERNACHBAR,DAWIRDMANNACHBAR.

NIETZSCHE

Youmightregulateyouroutwardhabittothelastbuttonofwhatyouwereexpectedtowear;youmightconcealthetinyflawsandshuffleover

thebigimproprietiesinyourhomelife,whichwerelikelytodamageyourvalueintheeyesofyourcompanions;youmight,inbrief,marchinthestrictestorderalongthenarrowroadlaiddownforyoubytheseyounglawgivers,keepingperfectstepandtimewiththem:yetofwhatusewereallyourpains,ifyoucouldnotmarshalyourthoughtsandfeelings--theveryrealestpartofyou--inrankandfileaswell?...ifthesepersistedinescapingcontrol?--Suchwasthequestionwhich,aboutthistime,begantopresentitselftoLaura'smind.

ItfirsttookformonthedayMissBlount,thesecretary,poppedherheadinatthedoorandannounced:"Athalf-pastthree,ClassTwotoNumberOne."

ClassTwowastakingalessoninelocution:thatistosayMr.Repton,thevisiting-masterforthisbranchofstudy,wasreadingaloud,inasonorousvoice,achapterofHANDYANDY.Heunderlinedhispointsheavily,andhishearers,liketheself-conscious,emotionallyshyyoungcolonialstheywere,felthalfamusedby,half-superiortothehistrionicdisplay.Theyloungedineasy,ungracefulpostureswhileheread,recliningoneagainstanother,orsprawlingforwardoverthedesks,theirheadsontheirarms.Itwasthefirsthourafterdinner,whenone'sthoughtsweresleepyandstupid,andMr.Reptonwasnotapatterndisciplinarian;butthegeneralabandonmentofattitudehadanothergroundaswell.Ithadtodowiththeshapeofthemaster'slegs.Theseweretheobjectofanenthusiasticadmiration.Theyweregenerallyadmittedtobethehandsomestintheschool,andthosegirls

werethoughtluckywhocouldgetthebestviewofthembeneaththedesk.Moreover,therumourranthatMr.Reptonhadoncebeenanactor--hisverycurlyhairnodoubtlentweighttothereport--andClassTwowasfondofpicturingthecomelylimbsinthetightsofaHamletorOthello.Italso,ofcourse,inventedforhimaluridlifeoutsidetheCollegewalls--notwithstandingthefactthatheandhissonsywifesatoppositetheboardersinchurcheverySundaymorning,theembodimentofthevirtuouscommonplace;andwheneverhelookedatapupil,everytimehesingledoneofthemoutforspecialnotice,hewasbelievedtohaveanulteriormotive,hiswordswereconstruedintomeaningsomethingthey



shouldnotmean:sothatthepoormanwasoftengenuinelypuzzledbythereceptionofhisfriendlyovertures.--SuchwasClassTwo'syouthfulcontributiontotheromanceofschoollife.

Onthisparticularday,however,thesudden,shortsnapofthesecretary'sannouncementthat,insteadofdispersingathalf-pastthree,theentireschoolwastoreassemble,galvanisedtheclass.Glancesofmingledapprehensionandexcitementflewround;eyestelegraphed[P.119]vigorousmessages;andtherewaslittleattentionleftforwell-shapedmembers,orfortheanticsofHandyAndyunderhismother'sbed.

Butwhenthehourcame,andallclassesweremovinginthesamedirection,verandahsandcorridorsoneseethingmassofgirls,itwastheexcitementthatprevailed.Foranybreakwaswelcomeintheuniformityofthedays;andthenervoustensionnowfeltwasnomoredisagreeable,atbottom,thanwasthepleasanttrepidationexperiencedofoldbythosewhowenttobepresentatahanging.

Inthecourseofthepastweeksanumberofpettytheftshadbeencommitted.Day-scholarswholeftsmallsumsofmoneyintheirjacketpocketswouldfind,onreturningtothecloakrooms,thatthesehadbeenpilfered.Foratime,thelosseswereborneinsilence,becauseofthereluctanceinherentinyounggirlstomakingafuss.Butwhenshillingsbegantovanishinthesamefashion,andonceevenhalf-a-crownwas

missing,itwasrecognisedthatthethingmustbeputastopto;andonebolderthantherest,andwithastrongersenseofpublicmorality,lodgedacomplaint.Investigationsweremade,atrapwasset,andthethiefdiscovered.--Theschoolwasnowassembledtoseejusticedone.

Thegreatroomwasfullereventhanatmorningprayers;forthentherewasalwaysanunpunctualminority.Acrowdofgirlswhohadnotbeenabletofindseatswasmassedtogetheratthefurtherend.Asatprayers,visitingandresidentteachersstoodinaline,withtheirbackstothehighwindows;theywererangedinorderofprecedence,toppedbyDrPughson,whostoodnextMr.Strachey'sdesk.All[P.120]alikeworeblank,sternfaces.

Inoneoftherowsofdesksfortwo--blackened,ink-scored,dustydesks,witheternallydryink-wells--satLauraandTilly,behindthemInezandBertha.Thecheeksofthefourwereflushed.But,whiletheothersonlywhisperedandwondered,Laurawasonthetiptoeofexpectation.Shecouldnotgetherbreathproperly,andherhandsandfeetwerecold.Twistingherfingers,inandout,shemoistenedherlipswithhertongue.--When,oh,whenwoulditbegin?

Thesefewforegoingminuteswerethemosttryingofany.Forwhen,inanominoushush,Mr.Stracheyenteredandstrodetohisdesk,Laurasuddenlygrewcalm,andcouldtakenoteofeverythingthatpassed.

ThePrincipalraisedhishand,toenjoinasilencethatwasalready

absolute.

"WillMissJohnsstandup!"

Atthesewords,spokeninalow,impressivetone,Berthaburstintotearsandhidherfaceinherhandkerchief.Hundredsofeyessoughttheunhappyculpritassherose,thentobecastdownandremaingluedtothefloor.

Thegirlstood,paleandsilly-looking,andstaredatMr.Stracheymuch



asarabbitstaresatthesnakethatisabouttoeatit.Shewasaveryuglygirloffourteen,withapastyface,andlankhairthatdangledtohershoulders.Hermouthhadfallenhalfopenthroughfear,andshedidnotshutitallthetimeshewasonview.

Lauracouldnottakehereyesoffthescene:theytravelled,burningwithcuriosity,fromAnnieJohnstoMr.Strachey,andbackagaintothemiserablethief.When,afterafewintroductoryremarksoncrimeingeneral,thePrincipalpassedontothepresentcase,anddescribeditindetail,Laurawasfascinatedbyhisoratory,andgazedfullathim.Hemadeitalllivevividlybeforeher;shehungonhislips,appreciatinghispoints,theskilfulwayinwhichheworkeduphisclimaxes.Butthen,sheherselfknewwhatitwastobepoor--asAnnieJohnshadbeen.Sheunderstoodwhatitwouldmeantolackyourtram-fareonarainymorning--accordingtoMr.Stracheythiswasthemotorimpulseofthethefts--becausealollyshophadstretchedoutitsoctopusarmsafteryou.Shecouldimagine,too,withashiver,howeasyitwouldbe,thelossofthefirstpennieshavingremainedundiscovered,togoontothreepenny-bits,andfromthesetosixpences.Moreparticularlysincethemoneyhadbeentaken,withoutexception,frompocketsinwhichtherewasplenty.Not,Laurafeltsure,inordertoavoiddetection,asMr.Stracheysupposed,butbecausetothosewhohadsomuchafewoddcoinscouldnotmatter.Shewonderedifeveryoneelseagreedwithhimonthispoint.Howdidtheteachersfeelaboutit?--and

sheranhereyesovertherow,tolearntheiropinionsfromtheirfaces.Butthesewereasstolidasever.OnlygoodoldChapman,shethought,lookedalittlesorry,andMissZielinski--yes,MissZielinskiwascrying!ThisdiscoverythrilledLaura--justas,attheplay,thefactofonespectatorbeingmovedtotearsintensifieshisneighbour'senjoyment.--ButwhenMr.Stracheyleftthefieldofpersonalnarrationandwentontothemoralaspectsoftheaffair,Lauraceasedtobegrippedbyhim,andturnedanewtostudythepale,doggedface[P.122]oftheaccused,thoughshehadtocranehernecktodoit.Beforesuchastonymaskasthis,shewasdriventoimaginewhatmustbegoingonbehindit;and,whilethusengrossed,shefeltherarmangrilytweaked.ItwasTilly.

"YouAREabeasttostarelikethat!"

"I'mnotstaring."

Sheturnedhereyesawayatonce,morethanhalfbelievingherownwords;andthen,forsomeseconds,shetriedtodowhatwasexpectedofher:tofeeladecentunconcern.Atherback,Bertha'spurrycryingwentsteadilyon.Whatonearthdidshecryfor?ShehadcertainlynotheardawordMr.Stracheysaid.Laurafidgetedinherseat,andstoleasideglanceatTilly'sprofile.Shecouldnot,reallycouldnotmissthelastsceneofall,when,inmasterlyfashion,thePrincipalwasgatheringthethreadstogether.Andso,feelingratherlike"PeepingTom",shecautiouslyraisedhereyesagain,andthistimemanagedtouse

themwithoutturningherhead.

Allothereyeswerestillcharitablylowered.Severalgirlswerecryingnow,butwithoutasound.And,asthelast,awfulmomentsdrewnear,evenBerthawashushed,andofalltheoddhundredsofthroatsnotonedaredtocough.Laura'sheartbegantopalpitate,forshefelttheapproachofthefinalclimax,Mr.Strachey'speriodsgrowingeverslowerandmoremassive.

When,afteraburstofeloquencewhich,thechildfelt,wouldnothave



shamedaBishop,thePrincipaldrewhimselfuptohisfullheight,and,withupliftedarm,thunderedforth:"Herewith,MissAnnieJohns,Ipubliclyexpelyoufromtheschool!Leaveit,now,thismoment,andneverdarkenitsdoorsagain!"--whenthishappened,Laurawasshotthroughbyanecstaticquiver,suchasshehadfeltonceonlyinherlifebefore;andthatwaswhenabeautiful,golden-hairedHamlet,whohadheldaBallarattheatreentrancedforawholeevening,felldeadbyLaertes'sword,totherousingplauditsofthehouse.Breathingunevenly,shewatched,lynx-eyed,everyinchofAnnieJohns'progress:watchedherpickupherbooks,edgeoutofherseatandsidlethroughtherowsofdesks;watchedherwalktothedoorwithshortjerkymovements,mountthetwostepsthatledtoit,fumblewiththehandle,turnit,andvanishfromsight;andwhenitwasallover,andtherewasnothingmoretosee,shefellbackinherseatwithanaudiblesigh.

ItwastoolateafterthisforthewindingofthesnakylineaboutthestreetsandparksofEastMelbourne,whichconstitutedtheboarders'dailyexercise.Theyweredespatchedtostretchtheirlegsinthegarden.Here,astheywalkedroundlawnsandtennis-courts,theydiscussedthemaineventoftheafternoon,andwerealittlemorevociferousthanusual,inanattempttoshakeofftheremembranceofaveryunpleasanthalf-hour.

"IbetyouSandyratherenjoyedkickingupthatshindy."

"DIDyouseePuggy'sbootsagain?Girls,heMUSTtaketwelves!"

"AndthatoldblubberofaZiely'shandkerchief!Itwasfilthy.ItoldyouyesterdayIwassuresheneverwashedherneck."

Bertha,whosetearshaddriedasrapidlyassea-spray,gaveLauraadigintheribs."What'supwithyou,oldTweedledum?You'reasglumasalubra."

"No,I'mnot."

"It'smybeliefthatLaurawassorryforthatpig,"threwinTilly.

"IndeedIwasn't!"saidLauraindignantly.

"Sorryforathief?"

"ItellyouIWASN'T!"--andthiswastrue.AmongthediversfeelingsLaurahadexperiencedthatafternoon,pityhadnotbeenincluded.

"Ifyouwanttobechumswithsuchamangybeast,you'dbettergotoschoolinalock-up."

"Idon'tknowwhatmyfather'dsay,ifheknewI'dbeeninthesameclassasapickpocket,"saidthedaughterofaministerfromBrisbane.

"Iguesshewouldn'thaveletmestophereaweek."

Laurawentonebetter."Mymotherwouldn'thaveletmestopaday."

Thosestandingbylaughed,andagirlfromtheRiverinasaid:"Oh,no,ofcoursenot!"inatonethatmadeLaurawinceandregretherreadiness.

Beforetea,shehadtopractise.Thepianostoodinanoutsideclassroom,wherenoonecouldhearwhethershewasdiligentoridle,and



shesoongaveupplayingandwenttothewindow.Here,havingdustedthegrittysillwithherpetticoat,sheleanedherchinonhertwopalmsandstaredoutintothesunbakedgarden.Itwasemptynow,andverystill.Thestreetsthatlaybehindthehighpalingsweredesertedinthedrowsyheat;theonlysoundtobeheardwasagentletinklingtovespersintheneighbouringCatholicSeminary.Leaningthusonherelbows,andbalancingherselffirstonherheels,thenonhertoes,Laurawenton,indesultoryfashion,withthethoughtsthathadbeensetinmotionduringtheafternoon.ShewonderedwhereAnnieJohnswasnow,andwhatshewasdoing;wonderedhowshehadfacedhermother,andwhatherfatherhadsaidtoher.Alltherestofthemhadgonebackatoncetotheireverydaylife;AnnieJohnsalonewascutadrift.Whatwouldhappentoher?Wouldsheperhapsbeturnedoutofthehouse?...intothestreets?--andLaurahadalivelyvisionoftheguiltycreature,inragsandtatters,slinkingalongwallsandsleepingunderbridges,eternallymovedonbyaruthlessLondonpoliceman(heronlyknowledgeofextremedestitutionbeingderivedfromthewoefultaleof"LittleJo").--Andtothinkthatthebeginningofitallhadbeenthewantofatrumperytram-fare.Howsafetheothergirlswere!Nowondertheycouldallowthemselvestofeelshockedandoutraged;noneofTHEMknewwhatitwasnottohavethreepenceinyourpocket.Whileshe,Laura...Yes,anditmustbethissameincriminatingacquaintancewithpovertythatmadeherfeeldifferentlyaboutAnnieJohnsandwhatshehaddone.ForherfeelingsHADbeendifferent--therewasnodenyingthat.Didshenow

thinkbackoverthehalf-hourspentinNumberOne,andacthonestInjunwithherself,shehadtoadmitthathercompanions'indignantandhorrifiedaversiontothecrimehadnotbeenhers,letalonetheirdecentindifferencetowardsthecriminal.No,tobecandid,shehadbeendeeplyinterestedinthewholeaffair,hadevenmanagedtoextractanunseemlyamountofentertainmentfromit.Andthat,ofcourse,shouldnothavebeen.ItwaspartlyMr.Strachey'sfault,formakingitsodramatic;butnonethelessshegenuinelydespisedherself,forhavingsuchaqueerinside.

"Pig--pig--pig!"shemutteredunderherbreath,andwrinkledhernoseinagrimace.

Therealreasonofherpleasurableabsorptionwas,shesupposed,thatshehadunderstoodAnnieJohns'motivebetterthananyoneelse.Well,shehadhadnobusinesstounderstand--thatwasthelongandtheshortofit:nice-mindedgirlsfoundsuchathingimpossible,andturnedincuriouslyaway.Andhercompanionshadbeenquicktorecogniseherdifferenceofattitude,ortheywouldneverhavedaredtoaccuseherofsympathywiththethief,ortodoubtherchorusingassertionwithasneer.Forthem,thegapwasnotverywidebetweenunderstandinganddoinglikewise.Andtheywerecertainlyright.--Oh!thelastwishintheworldshehadwastorangeherselfonthesideofthesinner;shelongedtoseeeyetoeyewithhercomrades--ifshehadonlyknownhowtodoit.Fortherewasnosayingwhereitmightleadyou,ifyoupersistedinhavingoddandpeculiarnotions;youmightevenendby

beingwickedyourself.LethertakealessonintimefromAnnie'sfate.For,beginningperhapswithideasthatwerenomoreunlikethoseofherschoolfellowsthanwereLaura'sown,Anniewasnowabrandedthiefandanoutcast.--Andthechild'sfeelings,asshestoodatthewindow,werenotveryfarremovedfromprayer.Hadtheyfoundwords,theywouldhavetakentheformofanentreatythatshemightbepreservedfromhavingthoughtsthatweredifferentfromotherpeople's;thatshemightbemadetofeelassheoughttofeel,inaproper,ladylikeway--andespeciallydidsheseeacompanionconvictedofcrime.



Belowallthis,insubconsciousdepths,achordoffearseemedtohavebeenstruckinheraswell--thefearofstonyfaces,droopedlids,andstretched,pointingfingers.Forthatnightshestartedup,withacry,fromdreamingthatnotAnnieJohnsbutshewasbeingexpelled;thatanarmyofspear-likefirstfingerswasmarchingtowardsher,andthat,tryasshewould,shecouldnotgetherlimp,heavylegstobearhertotheschoolroomdoor.

Andthisdreamoftenreturned.

XIII.

ONherhonourablepromotionthefollowingChristmas--shemountedtwoformsthistime--Laurawasathin,middle-sizedgirlofthirteen,whostilldidnotlookherage.Thecurlshadvanished.Intheirplacehungalong,darkplait,whichsheboundbychoicewitharedribbon.

Tillywastheonlyoneofherintimateswhoskippedaclasswithher;henceshewasthrownmoreexclusivelythanbeforeonTilly's

companionship;foritwasamelancholyfact:ifyouwerenotinthesameclassasthegirlwhowasyourfriend,yourinterestsandhersweresoonfatallysundered.Ontheirformercompanions,TillyandLaura,fromtheirnewperch,couldnotbutlookdown:thetwohadmastersnowforallsubjects;Euclidloomedlarge;LatinwasnolongerboundedbytheFirstPrincipia;andtheyfussedconsiderably,intheothers'hearing,overthedifficultiesofthelittlebluebooksthatbegan:GALLIAESTOMNISDIVISAINPARTESTRES.

Inthebeginning,theyheldveryclosetogether;fortheirnewfellowswereinclinedtostandontheirdignitywiththepairofinterlopersfromClassTwo.TheywereallolderthanTillyandLaura,andthoughtthemselveswiser:hereweregirlsofsixteenandseventeenyearsofage,

someofwhomwouldprogressnofartheralongthehigh-roadofeducation.Asfortheboarderswhosatinthisform,theymadeupajealouslittleclique,anditwassometimebeforetheyoungercouplecoulddiscoverthesecretbond.

Then,onemorning,thetwoweresittingwithafewothersontheverandahbench,lookingovertheirlessonsfortheday.Mrs.Gurleyhadsnatchedamoment'srestthere,onherwaytothesecretary'soffice,andaslongassheallowedherwitheringeyetoplayuponthingsandpeople,thegirlsconnedtheirpageswithagreatshowofindustry.ButnosoonerhadshesailedawaythanKateHornerleantforwardandcalledtoMariaMorell,whowasattheotherendoftheseat:"Isay,Maria,GenesisLI,32."--SheheldanopenBibleinherhand.

MariaMorellfrownedcaution."Dashit,Kate,mindthosekids!"

"Oh,theywon'tsavvy."

ButLaura'seyesweresaucersofcuriosity,forTilly,whokeptherlonglasheslowered,hadgivenherafuriousnudge.Withawinkandabecktoeachother,thebiggergirlsgotupandwentaway.

"Isay,whatdidyoupokemesohardfor?"inquiredLauraassheand



Tillyfollowedintheirwake,attheclangingofthepublicprayer-bell.

"Yousoft,didn'tyouhearwhatshesaid?"

"OfcourseIdid"--andLaurarepeatedthereference.

"Let'slookitupthen."UndercoveroftheprayerTillysoughtitout,andtogethertheybenttheirheadsoverit.

Onthisoccasion,TillywasmoreknowingthanLaura;butonthisalone;forwhenLauraoncegraspedwhattheyweredrivingat,shewasasnimble-wittedasany.

Onlyadayortwolateritwasshewho,infaceofKateandMaria,invitedTillytoturnupchapterandverse.

Boththeeldergirlsburstoutlaughing.

"Bydad!"criedKateHorner,andsmackedherthigh."Thiskidknowsathingortwo."

"Youbet!Itoldyoushewasn'tbornyesterday."--AndMarialaidherarmroundLaura'sshoulders.

ThuswasLauraencouraged,putonhermettle;andsoontherewasnomoreaudaciousBible-readerintheclassthanshe.

ThegirlswerethrownthusupontheBookofBooksfortheircontrabandknowledge,sinceitwastheonlyfranklyoutspokenpieceofliteratureallowedwithintheCollegewalls:theclassicsstudiedwererigidlyexpurgated;theschoollibrarywaskeptsodullthatnooneovertheageoftenmuchcaredtoborrowavolumefromit.And,byfairmeansorunfair,itwasnecessarytoobtaininformationonmattersofsex;forgirlsmostofwhomwerewellacrossthethresholdofwomanhoodthesubjecthadaninvinciblefascination.

Suchknowledgeastheypossessedwasastrangejumble,pickedupat

random:inonedirectiontheywerewellprimed;inanother,supremelyignorant.Thus,thoughtheyreceivedlecturesonwhatwascalled"Physiology",andforthesewererequiredtocommittomemorythenameofeveryboneandarteryinthebody,yetallthatrelatedtoawoman'sspecialorgansandchiefnaturalfunctionwasstudiouslyignored.Thesubjectbeingthuschastelyshroudedinmystery,theywerethrownbackonguessworkandspeculation--withthequaintestresults.Thefancieswovenbyquitebiggirls,forinstance,roundthephysicalfeatofbringingachildintotheworld,wouldhavesuppliedmaterialforavolumeoffairytales.Onmanyasummereveningatthistime,inanookofthegarden,headsofallshadesmighthavebeenseenpressedasclosetogetherasaclusterofsettledbees;andlikethehummingofbees,too,werethebusywhisperingsandsubduedbuzzesof

laughterthataccompaniedthishotdiscussionofthe"how"--asalivinganswertowhich,eachofthemwouldprobablysomedaywalktheworld.Innumerabletheorieswereafloat,onemorefantasticthananother;andthewildertheconjecture,thegreaterwastherespectandapplauseitgained.

Ontheotherhand,oflessprofitableinformationtheyhadamassedagoodlystore.Girlswhocamefromup-countrycouldtellalivelytaleoftheartlesshabitsoftheblacks;others,whowereathomeinminingtowns,describedthedoingsinChinesecamps--thoseunavoidable



concomitantsofgold-grubbingsettlements;rhymescirculatedthatwouldhavestaggeredaback-blocker;whilethegovernesseswerewithoutexception,youngandold,kindlyandunkindly,laidundersuchflamboyantsuspicionsasthepoorladieshad,forcertain,neverheardbreathed--sincetheirownimpudentschooldays.

Thisdabblingintheillicit--ithadlittleincommonwiththeopenergrimeoftheordinaryschoolboy--didnotevenwidentheoutlookofthesegirls.Foritwassomethingtohushupandkeephiddenaway,tohavequalms,evenamongthemselves,aboutknowing;and,likeallknowledgethatfungus-likeshrinksfromthesun,itwasstuntedandunlovely.Theirmindswerewarpedbyit,theirvisionwasdistorted:viewedthroughitslens,themostnaturalhumanrelationsappearedunnatural.Thus,nottheprimmestpatternsoffamilylifecouldhopeformercyintheireyes;overthefamily,too,man,asreadbytheseyoungrigorists,washeldtoleavehisserpent'strailofdesire.

Foroutofitallrosethevague,crudepictureofwomanasthepreyofman.Manwasanimal,acompositeoflustandcruelty,withnoaimbutthatofbrutallytakinghispleasure:somethingmonstrous,yettobeadored;annihilating,yettobesoughtafter;somethingtofleeand,atthesametime,toentice,witheveryartatone'sdisposal.

Aslongasitwassolelyaquestionofclandestineknowledgeand

ingenioussurmisings,Laurawentmerrilywiththerest:herenobarriershutherofffromhercompanions.Alwaysaveryinquisitivelittlegirl,shewasnowagogtolearnnewlore.Hermind,inthisdirection,waslikeacleanbuthighlysensitisedplate.Andpartlybecauseofherpreviousentireignorance,partlybecauseofherextremereceptiveness,shesoonoutstrippedhercomrades,andbeforelong,wasoneofthemostskilfulimprovisersofthegroup:adexteroustheorist:awickedlittleadeptatinnuendo.

Butthatwasall;astepfarther,andsheranherheadagainstastonewall.Fortheinvisibleyeastthatbroughtthisfermentofnaturalcuriositytopass,wasthegirls'intenseinterestintheoppositesex:apenned-upinterestthatclamouredforanoutlet;aninterestwhich,in

thelifeoftheseprospectivemothers,hadalreadyusurpedthemainplace.Laura,ontheotherhand,hadsofarhadscantexperienceofboysofadesirableage,noranylikingforsuchasshehadknown;indeedshestillheldtoherchildishopinionthattheywere"silly"--fecklesscreatures,inspiteoftheirgreaterstrengthandsize--ordownrightdisagreeableandantagonistic,likeGodmother'sErwinandMarmaduke.Nobreathoftheirpossibledangerousfascinationhadhithertoreachedher.Hence,anexperiencethatcameherway,atthebeginningoftheautumnwasofthenatureofanawakening.

XIV.

"MycousinBob'sawfullygoneonyou."

LauragapedatTilly,incrimsondisbelief."ButI'veneverspokentohim!"

"Doesn'tcount.He'sseenyouinchurch."



"Goon!--you'restuffing."

"Wordofhonour!--AndI'vepromisedhimtoaskauntifIcanbringyouwithmetolunchnextSaturday."

Lauralookedforwardtothisdaywithmixedfeelings.ShewasflatteredatbeinginvitedtothebighouseintownwhereTilly'srelativeslived;butshefeltembarrassedattheprospect,andshehadnottheleastideawhataboywhowas"gone"onyouwouldexpectyoutobeortodo.Bobwasabeautifulyouthofseventeen,tall,anddark,andslender,withmilk-whiteteethandSpanisheyes;andLaura'smouthdriedupwhenshethoughtofperhapshavingtobesprightlyorcoquettishwithhim.

OntheeventfulmorningTillycametoherroomwhileshewasdressing,andeyedhercritically.

"Oh,Isay,don'tputonthatbrownhat...formercy'ssake!Bobcan'tstandbrown."

ButthebrownwasLaura'sbest,andshedemurred.

"Ohwell,ifyoudon'tcaretolooknice,youknow..."

Ofcourseshedid;shewasburningto.Sheevenacceptedtheloanofasashfromherfriend,because"Boblovesblue";andwentoutfeelingoddandunlikeherself,inhereverydayhatandborrowedplumes.

TheAunt,apleasant,youthful-lookinglady,calledfortheminawhite-hoodedwagonette,andsetthemdownatthehousewithaplayfulwarning.

"Nowdon'tgetuptoanymischief,youtwo!"

"Nofear!"wasTilly'sgenialresponse,asAuntandcabdroveoff.

Theyweregoingto"dotheblock",Tillyexplained,andwouldmeetBob

there;buttheymustfirstmakesurethatthedrivehadnotdisarrangedtheirhairorthepositionoftheirhats;andsheledthewaytoheraunt'sbedroom.

Laura,thoughshehadhershareofnaturalvanity,wastooimpatienttodomorethancastaperfunctoryglanceatherreflectedself.Atthisperiodofherlifewhenadriveinahiredcabwasenoughofanoveltytogiveherpleasure,adaysuchastheonethatlaybeforeherfilledherwithunboundedanticipation.

Shefidgetedfromonelegtoanotherwhileshewaited.ForTillywasinnohurrytobegone:sheprinkedandfinicked,makinglavishuse,afterthelittleswing-glassatschool,ofthebigmirrorwithitsmovable

wings;sheexaminedherteeth,pulleddownherunder-lids,combedhereyebrows,twistedherneckthiswayandthat,inanendeavourtoviewherpersonfromeveryangle;shetooklibertieswithperfumesandbrushes:was,inshort,blindanddeaftoallbuttheperfectingofherself--thisrathermannishlittleself,which,despiteamostwomanlyplumpness,affectedaboyishbonhomie,andemphasisedtherolebywearingastiffwhitecollarandcuffs.

Laurawasgladwhensheatlastdecidedthatshewould"do",andwhentheysteppedoutintotheradiantautumnmorning.



"Whataperfectlyscrumptiousday!"

"Yes,bully.--Isay,ISmywaistallright?"

"Quiteright.Andeversosmall."

"Iknow.Igaveitanextrapull-in.--Nowifonlywe'reluckyenoughtogetholdofamanortwoweknow!"

Theair,Australianair,metthemlikeapricklingchampagne:itwasincrediblycrisp,pure,buoyant.Fromthetopoftheeasternhillthespaciouswhitestreetslopedspeedilydown,torunawhileinahollow,thenmountagainattheotherend.Wherethetwogirlsturnedintoit,itwasquiet;butthefarthertheydescended,thefulleritgrew--fullerofidlerslikethemselves,outtoseeandtobeseen.

Lauracockedherchin;shehadnothadalikesenseoffreedomsincebeingatschool.Andbesides,wasnotaboy,ahandsomeboy,waitingforher,andexpectingher?ThiswastheCLOUoftheday,theendforwhicheverythingwasmaking;yetofsuchstuffwasLaurathatshewouldhavefeltrelieved,couldthepresentmomenthavebeenspunoutindefinitely.Thestateofsuspensewasverypleasanttoher.

AsforTilly,thatyoungladywasswingingtheshouldersatopofthelittlewaistinasomewhatprovocativefashion,onlytooconsciousofthegrey-bluenessofherfineeyes,andthemodishcutofherclothes.ShehadaknackwhichseemedtoLaurabothdesirableandunattainable:thatofappearingtobeengrossedinglibchatwithhercompanion,whileinrealityshedidnothearawordLaurasaid,andogledeveryonewhopassed,outofthetailofhereye.

Theyreachedthe"block",thatstripofCollinsStreetwhichformsthefashionablepromenade.Heretheroadwasfullofcabsandcarriages,andtherewasagreatcrowdonthepavement.Thegirlsprogressedbutslowly.Peopleweremeetingtheirfriends,shopping,changingbooksatthelibrary,eatingicesattheconfectioner's,fruitatthebig

fruit-shoproundthecorner.Therewerealargenumberofhigh-collaredyoungdudes,someTrinityandOrmondmenwithcolouredhatbands,ladieswithlittleparcelsdanglingfromtheirwrists,andcountlessschoolgirlslikethemselves.Tillygrewmomentarilylivelier;herbigeyespounced,hawk-like,oneveryfaceshemet,andherwordstoLaurabecamemoredisjointedthanbefore.Finally,hereffortswerecrownedwithsuccess:shemanaged,bydintofglanceandsmilecombined,tounhookayouthofheracquaintancefromagroupatadoorway,andtoattachhimtoherself.

Inhighgoodhumournowthatheraimwasaccomplished,shesetabouttherealbusinessofthemorning--thatofpromenadingupanddown.ShehadnolongerevenafeignedinterestleftforLaura,andthelatterwalked

besidethecouplealameandunnecessarythird.ThoughshekeptakeenwatchforBob,shecouldnotdiscoverhim,andhertimewasspentforthemostpartindodgingpeople,andincatchingupwithhercompanionsforitwasdifficulttowalkthreeabreastinthecrowd.

Thenshesawhim--andwithwhatanunpleasantshock.IfonlyTillydidnotseehim,too!

Butnosuchluckwashers."Lookout,there'sBob,"nudgedTillyalmostatonce.



Alas!therewasnoquestionofhiswaitinglonginglyforhertoappear.Hewaswalkingwithtwoladies,andlaughingandtalking.Heraisedhishattohiscousinandherfriend,butdidnotdisengagehimself,andpassingthembydisappearedinthethrong.

BehindherhandTillybuzzed:"OneofthoseWoodwardsisawfullysweetonhim.Ibethecan'tgetloose."

Thiswasadropofcomfort.Butas,atthenextencounter,hestilldidnotoffertojointhem--couldit,indeed,beexpectedthathewouldpreferhercompanytothatofthepretty,grown-upgirlshewaswith?--asheagainsidledpast,Tilly,whohadgivenhimoneofhermostvivacioussparkles,turnedandshotaglanceatLaura'sface.

"Forpity'ssake,lookalittlemoreamiable,orhewon'tcomeatall."

Laurafeltmorelikecrying;hersunshinewasintercepted,hergoodspiritswerequenched;hadshehadherwill,shewouldhaveturnedtailandgonestraightbacktoschool.ShehadnotwantedBob,hadneveraskedhimtobe'gone'onher,andifshehadnowtofishforhim,intothebargain...Howevertherewasnohelpforit;thethinghadtobegonethroughwith;and,sinceTillyseemeddisposedtolaytheblameofhislukewarmnessatherdoor,Lauragluedhermouth,thenexttimeBobhove

insight,intoafeeblesmile.

Soonafterwardshecameuptothem.Hiscousinhadanarchgreetinginreadiness.

"Well,you'vebeendoingaprettymash,youhave!"shecried,andjoggedhimwithherelbow."Nowonderyou'dnoeyesforpoorus.WhatpriceMissWoodward'sglovesthismorning!"--atwhichBoblaughed,lookedsly,andtappedhisbreastpocket.

Itwastimetobemovinghomewards.Tillyandherbeauledtheway."Forweknowyoutwowouldratherbealone.Now,Bob,nottoomanysheep's-eyes,please!"

Bobsmiled,andletflyawickedglanceatLaurafromunderhisdarklashes.Droppingbehind,theybegantomountthehill.Nowwasthemoment,feltLaura,tosaysomethingverywitty,orpert,orclever;andalittlepulseinherthroatbeathard,asshefuriouslyrackedherbrains.Oh,forjustamorselofTilly'sloose-tonguedness!Oneaftertheothersheconsideredanddismissed:thepleasantcoolnessofthemorning,thecrowdedconditionofthestreet,eventhefactofthenextdaybeingSunday--earsandcheeksonfire,meanwhile,atherownslow-wittedness.AndBobsmiled.Shealmosthatedhimforthatsmile.Itwassoassured,andwithalsodisturbing.Seencloseathandhisteethwerewhiter,hiseyesbrownerthanshehadbelieved.Hisupperlip,too,wasquitedark;andhefingereditincessantly,ashewaitedforherto

maketheonslaught.

Buthewaitedinvain;andwhentheyhadwalkedawholestreet-blockinthismutefashion,itwashewhobrokethesilence.

"Rippinggirls,thoseWoodwards,"hesaid,andseemedtoberememberingtheircharms.

"Yes,theylookedverynice,"saidLaurainasmallvoice,andwasextremelyconsciousofherownthirteenyears.



"Simplystunning!ThoughMay'ssoslender--May'stheprettyone--andhassuchajollyfigure...IbelieveIcouldspanherwaistwithmytwohands...herserviceisjustAI--attennisImean."

"Isitreally?"saidLaurawanly,andfeltunutterablydepressedattheturntheconversationwastaking.--Herownwaistwascoarse,herknowledgeoftennisoftheslightest.

"Ra-THER!Overhand,withacutonit--sheplayswitha14-oz.racquet.Andshehasabackdrive,too,byJove,that--youplay,ofcourse?"

"Oh,yes."Lauraspokeupmanfully;butprayedthathewouldnotpresshisinquiriesfurther.Atthisjuncturehisattentionwasdivertedbythepassingofafinetandem;andassoonashebroughtitbacktoheragain,shesaid:'You'reatTrinity,aren'tyou?'--whichwasfinesse;forsheknewhewasn't.

"Well,yes...allbut,"answeredBobwellpleased."Istartinthiswinter."

"Hownice!"

Therewasanotherpause;thensheblurtedout:"Wechurchgirlsalways

wearTrinitycoloursattheboat-race."

Shehopedfromherheart,thismightleadhimtosaythathewouldlookoutforherthere;buthedidnothingofthekind.HisanswerwastotheeffectthatthisyeartheyjollywellexpectedtoknockOrmondintoacockedhat.

Lunchthreatenedtobeformidable.Tobeginwith,Laura,whosenatural,easyfranknesshadbythistimeallbutbeensuccessfullyeducatedoutofher,Laurawasnevershyerwithstrangersthanatameal,whereeverywordyousaidcouldbelistenedtobyatablefulofpeople.Then,too,hervis-a-viswasasmallsharpchildoffiveorsix,calledThumbby,orThumbkin,whoonlyremovedherbead-likeeyesfrom

Laura'sfacetobesaucytoherfather.And,whatwasworse,theUncleturnedouttobeatypethatstruckinstantterrorintoLaura:afull-fledgedmaletease.--Hewas,besides,veryhairyofface,andpreternaturallysolemn.

Nosoonerhadhedrawninhischairtothetablethanhebegan.Liftinghisheadandthrustingouthischin,hesniffedtheairinalldirectionswithamovingnose--justasacatdoes.Everyonelookedathiminsurprise.Tilly,whosatnexthim,wentpink.

"Whatisit,dear?"hiswifeatlastinquiredinagentlevoice;foritwasevidentthathewasnotgoingtostoptillaskedwhyhedidit.

"Mos'extraor'narysmell!"hereplied."Mother,d'youknow,Icouldtakemyappledavysomeonehasbeenusingmyscent."

"Nonsense,Tom."

"Sillypa!"saidthelittlegirl.

Ramminghisknucklesintohiseyes,hepretendedtocryathisdaughter'srebuke;thenboredownonLaura.



"D'youknow,MissRa...Ra...Rambotham"--hemadeasifhecouldnotgethernameout--"d'youknowthatI'magreatmanforscent?Fact.Itakeabathiniteverymorning."

Laurasmileduncertainly,fixedalwaysbythechild.

"Fact,Iassureyou.Overthetummy,uptothechin.--Now,who'sbeenatit?Forit'smyopinionIshan'thaveenoughlefttoshampoomyeyebrows.--Bob,isityou?"

"Don'tbeanass,pater."

"Cutmesomebread,Bob,please,"saidTillyhastily.

"Mos'extraor'narything!"persistedtheUncle."Or--goodLord,mother,canitbemymonthlyattackofD.T.'sbeginningalready?They'renotdue,youknow,tillnextweek,Monday,fiveo'clock."

"Dear,DON'Tbesosilly.Besidesit'smyscent,notyours.Andanyoneiswelcometoit."

"Well,well,let'scallinthecats!--Bytheway,MissRa...Ra...Rambotham,areyouawarethatthissonofmineisaprofessedlady-killer?"

LauraandBobwentdifferentshadesofcrimson.

"Whyhasshegotsored?"thechildaskedhermother,inanaudiblewhisper.

"Oh,CHUCKit,pater!"murmuredBobindisgust.

"Fact,Iassureyou.PutnotyourtrustinRobert!He'salwaysonwiththenewlovebeforehe'soffwiththeold.Youaskhimwhoseglovehe'sstillcherishinginthepocketnexthisheart."

Bobpushedhisplatefromhimand,foramoment,seemedabouttoleave

thetable.Lauracouldnotlifthereyes.Tillychewedinangrysilence.

Here,however,thechildmadeadiversion.

"You'realady-kildayourself,pa."

"Me,Thumbkin?--Mother,d'youhearthat?--Thenit'sthewhiskers,Thumbby.Ladieslovewhiskers--orafinedroopingmoustache,likemysonBob's."Hesang:"'Oh,oh,theladieslovedhimso!'"

"Tom,dear,DObequiet."

"Tom,Tom,thepiper'sson!"chirpedThumbby.

"Well,well,let'scallinthecats!"--whichappearedtobehiswayofchangingthesubject.

Itseemed,afterthis,asthoughtheremainderoflunchmightpassoffwithoutfurtherhitch.Thenhoweverandallofasudden,whilehewaspeelinganapple,thisdreadfulmansaid,asthoughtohimself:"Ra...Ra...Rambotham.NowwherehaveIheardthatname?"

"Wa...Wa...Wamboffam!"mockedThumbkin.



"Monkey,ifyou'resosharpyou'llcutyourself!--Younglady,doyouhappentocomefromWarrenega?"heaskedLaura,whenThumbkin'sexcitedchirrupof:"I'llcutYOU,pa,intolittlebits!"haddiedaway.

Readytosinkthroughthefloor,Laurarepliedthatshedid.

"ThenI'vethepleasureofknowingyourmother.--Talldarkwoman,isn'tshe?"

Underthetable,Lauralockedthepalmsofherhandsandstemmedherfeetagainstthefloor.Washere,now,beforethemall,andBobinparticular,theshamefulsecretoftheembroiderytocometolight?Shecouldhardlyforceherlipstoframeananswer.

Herconfusionwastoopatenttobeoverlooked.Aboveherloweredhead,signspassedbetweenhusbandandwife,andsoonafterwardsthefamilyrosefromthetable.

ButTillywassoobviouslysulkythatthetensecouldnotletherescapehimthus.

Hecried:"ForGod'ssake,Tilly,standstill!Whatonearthhaveyougotonyourback?"

Tillycamefromup-countryandherthoughtsleaptfearfullytoscorpionsandtarantulas.Affrighted,shetriedtopeeroverhershoulder,andgaveapreliminaryshriek."Gracious!--whateverisit?"

"Holdon!"Heapproachedherwiththetongs;thenextmomenttoejaculate:"Begad,it'snotagrowth,it'sabustle!"andashespokehetweakedtheplacewhereabustleusedtobeworn.

EvenBobhadtojoinintheensuingboohoo,whichwentonandontillLaurathoughttheUnclewouldfalldowninafit.Thenforthethirdtimeheinvitedthosepresenttojoinhiminsummoningthecats,murmuredsomethingabout"humpinghisbluey",andwentoutintothehall,

wheretheyheardhimswingingThumbby"roundtheworld".

ItwasalltheAuntcoulddotomollifyTilly,whowasenragedtothepointoftears."I'veneverwornabustleinmylife!Uncle'saperfectFOOL!I'venevermetsuchafoolasheis!"

Stillboiling,shedisappearedtonurseherruffledtemperinprivate;andsheremainedabsentfromtheroomforoverhalfanhour.DuringthistimeLauraandBobwerealonetogether.Butevenlessthanbeforecameoftheirintercourse:Bob,stillsmartingfromhisfather'sbanter,wasinclinedtobestand-offish,asthoughafraidLauramighttakelibertieswithhimafterhavingbeenmadetolooksosmall;Laura,renderedthoroughlyunsuretobeginwith,bythejoculartoneofthe

luncheon-table,hadnotrecoveredfromtheshockofhearingherparentagesoblufflydisclosed.Andsince,atthistime,herideaoftheartofconversationwastomakejerkylittleremarkswhichlednowhere,ortoputstillmorejerkyquestions,Bobwassoonstiflingyawns,andnotwiththebestsuccess.HeinfectedLaura;andtherethetwoofthemsat,doingtheirbesttoappearunconsciousoftheterriblespasmswhich,everyfewseconds,distortedtheirfaces.AtlastBobcouldstanditnolongerandboltedfromtheroom.

Laurawasalone,andseemedtobeforgottenTheminutestickedby,and



noonecame--ornoonebutalittlegreykitten,whicharrivedasiffromnowhere,withahopandaskip.Shecoaxedthecreaturetoherlap,whereitjoinedheadtotailandwenttosleep.Andthereshesat,inthegloomy,overfilleddrawing-room,andstrokedthekitten,whichneithercrackedstupidjokesnorrequiredhertostrainherwitstomakeconversation.

WhenatlengthTillycameback,sheexpressedaratheracidsurpriseatBob'sabsence,andwenttolookforhim;Lauraheardthemwhisperingandlaughinginthepassage.Ontheirreturntothedrawing-roomithadbeendecidedthatthethreeofthemshouldgoforawalk.Astheskywasovercastandthegirlshadnoumbrellas,BobcarriedabigonebelongingtotheUncle.Tillycalledthisa"familyumbrella";andthejokesthatwereextractedfromthepairofwordslastedthewalkersonthewholeoftheiroutwardway;lastedsolongthatLaura,whowasspeedilyfinishedwithhercontribution,grewquitestupefiedwithlisteningtotheothertwo.

CollinsStreetwasnowasemptyasabushroad.TheyoungpeoplewentintoBourkeStreet,where,forwantofsomethingbettertodo,theyenteredtheEasternMarketandstrolledaboutinside.Thenoisethatrosefromthelivestock,ongroundfloorandupperstorey,wasear-splitting:pigsgrunted;cockscrowed,turkeysgobbled,parrotsshrieked;whileroughhumanvoicesechoedandre-echoedunderthelofty

roof.Therewasasmell,too,anextraordinarysmell,composedofalltheindividualsmellsofalltheselivingthings:offruitandvegetables,freshanddecayed;offlowers,andbutter,andgrain;ofmeat,andfish,andstrongcheeses;ofsawdustsprinkledwithwater,andfreshlywetpavements--onegreatcomplicatedsmell,thepiquancyofwhichmadeLaurasnifflikeaspaniel.ButafteraveryfewminutesTilly,whosetemperwasstillshort,calledita"vilestink"andclappedherhandkerchieftohernose,andsotheyhurriedout,pastmanyenticinglittlesideboothshiddenindarkcornersonthegroundfloor,suchasawomanwithoutlegs,adouble-headedcalf,andthelike.

Outsideithadbeguntorain;theyturnedintoaWaxworksExhibition.Thiswasapoorshow,andtheyweremerelykillingtimewhenthe

announcementcaughttheireyethatacertainroomwasopento"MarriedPeopleOnly".Thequipsandjokesthisgaverisetoagainwereasunendingasthoseabouttheumbrella;andLauragrewsotiredofthem,andofpretendingtofindthemfunny,thathertemperalsobegantogiveway;andsheeasedherfeelingsbymakingthenippymentalnoteonhercompanions,thatjokeswereevidently"intheblood".

Whentheyemerged,itwastimeforthegirlstoreturntoschool.Theytookahansom,Bobaccompanyingthem.Astheydrove,Laurasittingsandwichedbetweentheothertwo,itcameoverherwitharushwhatamiserablefailurethedayhadbeen.Aminutebefore,herspiritshadgivenafaintflicker,forBobhadlaidhisarmalongthebackoftheseat.Thenshesawthathehaddonethisjusttopullatthelittle

curlsthatgrewonTilly'sneck.Shewasgladwhenthecabdrewup,whenTillyostentatiouslytookthefathalf-crownfromherpurse,andBobleftthematthegatewitha:"Well,solong,ladies!"

Theboardersspenttheeveninginsewinggarmentsforcharity.Laurahadbeenatworkforweeksonacoarse,redflannelpetticoat,andasarulewasunderconstantreprimandforheridleness.Onthisnight,havingseparatedherselffromTilly,shesatdownbesideagirlwithaverylongplaitofhairandsmall,narroweyes,whowentbythenameof"Chinky".Chinkywasalwaysmakinguptoher,andcouldbereliedonto



coverhersilence.Laurasewedaway,withbentheadandpursedlips,andwassoengrossedthatthesolerebukesheincurredhadtodowithherdiligence.

MissChapmanexclaimedinhorroratherstifflyoutstretchedarm.

"HowCANyoubesovulgar,Laura?Tosewwithathreadaslongasthat!"

XV.

FordaysLauraavoidedeventhinkingofthisunluckyvisit.Privately,sheinformedherselfthatTilly'swealthyrelationswerea"rude,stupidlot";and,stuffingherfingersinherears,memorisedpageswithadispatchthatdeadenedthought.

When,however,thefirstsmarthadpassedandshewasabletogobackonwhathadhappened,asorenessatherownfailurewastheabidingresult:andthis,thoughTillymercifullysparedherthe"dullasditchwater",thatwasBob'sfinalverdict.--Butthefactthattheinvitationwasnot

repeatedtoldLauraenough.

Herhurtwasnotrelievedbytheknowledgethatshehaddonenothingtodeserveit.ForshehadneveraskedforBob'snoticeoradmiration,hadneverthoughtofhimbutasahandsomecousinofTilly'swhosatinadistantpewatStStephen's-on-the-Hill;andthecircumstancethat,becausehehadsingledheroutapprovingly,shewasexpectedtowormherselfintohisfavour,seemedtoherofamonstrousinjustice.But,allthesame,hadshepossessedthepowertocaptivatehim,shewouldcheerfullyhaveputherprideinherpocket.For,havingonceseenhimcloseathand,sheknewhowdesirablehewas.Havingbeentheobjectofglancesfromthoseliquideyes,ofsmilesfromthoseblanched-almondteeth,shefoundithardtodismissthemfromhermind.Howtheother

girlswouldhaveboastedofit,hadtheybeenchosenbysuchaoneasBob!--theywho,forthemostpart,weresatisfiedwithblotchy-faced,red-handedyouths,whoseleanwristsdangledfromtheirretreatingsleeves.Butthen,too,theywouldhaveknownhowtokeephim.Oh,thoseluckyothergirls!

"Isay,Chinky,whatdoyoudowhenaboy'sgoneonyou?"

Shewouldhaveshrunkfromputtinganopenquestionofthiskindtoherintimates;butChinky,couldbetrusted.ForshegarneredthefewwordsLauravouchsafedher,asgratefullyasLazarushiscrumbs;andamarkofconfidence,suchasthis,wouldsustainherfordays.

Butshehadnoinformationtogive.

"Me?...why,nothing.Boysaredirty,horrid,conceitedcreatures."

InherheartLaurawasatonewiththisjudgment;butitwasnottothepoint.

"Yes,buts'poseonewasawfullysweetonyouandyouratherlikedhim?"

"Catchme!Ifonecamebotheringroundme,I'ddothis"andshesether



tenoutstretchedfingerstohernoseandwaggledthem.

AndyetChinkywasratherpretty,inherway.

MariaMorell,cautiouslytapped,threwbackherheadandroaredwithlaughter.

"Blessitslittleheart!Doesitwanttoknow?--say,Laura,who'syourmash?"

"Noone,"answeredLaurastoutly."Ionlyasked.ForIguessyouKNOW,Maria."

"Bygosh,youbetIdo!"criedMaria,italicisingthewordsinhervehemence."Well,lookhere,Kiddy,ifachap'ssweetonmeIlethimbesweet,mydear,andthat'sall--tillhe'sruntobarley-sugar.WhatIdon'tlethimsavvyis,whetherIcareatwopennydamnforhim.Soonasyoudothat,it'sallup.Justlethimhanground,andthrowsheep's-eyes,tillhe'sassoftasajellyfish,andwhenhe'srightdownripe,roaringmad,gooffandpretendtodoamashwithsomeoneelse.That'sthewaytogluehim,chicken."

"Butyoudon'thaveanythingofhimthatway,"objectedLaura.

Marialaughedherselfredintheface."What'nearthmored'youwant?Why,he'llpesteryouwithletters,worldwithoutend,andlookasblackasyourshoeifyousomuchaswinkatanotherboy.Asforakiss,ifhegetsachanceofonehe'lltakeityoucanbetyourbottomdollaronthat."

"Butyounevergettoknowhim!"

"Oh,hangit,Laura,butyouARErich!Whatd'youthinkonehasaboyfor,I'dliketoknow.ToparlezvousaboutoldShepherd'ssermons?Youloony,it'sonlyforgettinglollies,andletters,andthewholedashedfunofthething.Ifyougoabouttoomuchwithone,yousoonhavetofakeaninterestinhisrottenoldaffairs.Orelsejustholdyour

tongueandlethimblow.Andthat'sdullwork.D'youthinkitevercomesupafellow'sbacktotalktoyouaboutyournewSundayhat!Ifitdoes,youcanteachyourgrandmothertosuckeggs."

But,despitethiswisdom,LauracouldnotdeterminehowMariawouldhaveactedhadshestoodinhershoes.

Andthen,too,theeldergirlhadsaidnothingaboutanothersideofthequestion,hadnottouchedonthesighsandsimpers,thewingedglances,anddrooped,provocativelids--allthethousandandonefooleries,inshort,whichLaurasawherandothersemploy.Therewasaregularmachineryofinvitationandencouragementtobesetinmotion:for,beforeitwassafetoignoreawooerandlethimdangle,asMaria

advised,youhadfirsttomakequitesurehewishedtonibbleyourbait.--AnditwasjustinthiselementarysciencethatLaurabrokedown.

Lookingroundher,shesawmainlyexperts.Totaketheexamplenearestathand:therewasMonsieurLegros,theFrenchmaster;well,Mariacouldtwisthimroundherlittlefinger.Sheonlyneededtopoutherthick,redlips,ortogiveacoquettishtwisttoherplumpfigure,ortooglehimwithherfine,bold,blueeyes,andthedifficultquestionsinthelessonweresuretopassherby.--Onceshehadevengottenextramarksaddedtoanexaminationpaper,inthiseasyfashion.Whereas,didshe,



Laura,trytoimitateMaria,venturetopoutortosmirk,itwastentooneshewouldberebukedforimpertinence.No,shegotonbestwiththewomen-teachers,towhomredlipsandafullbustmeantnothing;whilethemostelderlymasterscouldnotbereliedontobewhollyimpartial,whereapairofmagnificenteyeswasconcerned.EvenMr.Strachey,theunapproachable,hadbeenknown,onrunningfulltiltintoaprettygirl'sarmsinanunlitpassage,tobelaughinglyconfused.

Laurawasnot,ofcourse,thesoleoutsiderinthesethings;sprinkledthroughtheCollegewerevariousothers,older,too,thanshe,whobyreasonofdemurenessoftemperament,orimmersionintheirwork,stoodaloof.Buttheywerelostinthemajority,and,asitchanced,noneofthembelongedtoLaura'scircle.ExceptChinky--andChinkydidnotcount.So,half-fascinated,half-repelled,Laurasettostudyingherfriendswithrenewedzeal.Shecouldnothelpadmiringtheirproficiencyintheartofpleasing,eventhoughshefeltalittleabashedbytheopenpridetheytookintheirgrowingcharms.TherewasBertha,forinstance,Berthawhohadoneofthenicestmindsofthemall;andyethowfranklygratifiedshewas,bythevisibleroundingofherarmsandthecurvingofherbust.ShespokeofittoLaurawithakindofawe;andhervoiceseemedtogivehintsofacomingmystery.Tilly,ontheotherhand,livedtoreduceherwaist-measure:shewasalwayssuckingatlemons,andsheputupwiththepainsofindigestionaswellasaredtiptohernose;fornosuccessinschoolmeantasmuchtoTillyasthe

factthatshehadmanagedtocompressherselfafurtherquarterofaninch,nopraiseonthepartofherteachersequalledthecomplimentsthisearnedherfromdressmakerandtailor.AsforInez,whohadnotonlyaprettyfacebutwasgracefulandslender-limbedasagreyhound,Ineznolongerneededtoworryoverartificialcharms,ortodwellself-consciouslyonherdevelopment;seriousadmirerswerenotlacking,andwithoneofthese,ayoungmansomeeightyearsolderthanherself,shehadhadforthepastthreemonthsasortofunderstanding.Forher,asforsomanyothers,thetimeshehadstilltospendatschoolwasaspurgatorybeforeparadise.Totopall,oneoftheday-scholarsinLaura'sclasswasactuallyengagedtobemarried;andinnoboy-and-girlfashion,buttoadoctorwholivedandpractisedinEmeraldHill:hemightsometimesbeseen,fromapeepholeunderthestairs,

waitingtoescortherhomefromschool.Thisfianceewaslookeduptobytheclasswithtremendousreverence,asonesetapart,oiledandanointed.Youreallycouldnottreatherasacomradeher,whohadreachedthegoal.ForthisWASthegoal;andthethoughtsofallwerefixed,withanintentnessthatvariedonlyindegree,onthegreatconsummationwhich,asplannedintheseyoungminds,shouldcometopasswithoutfaildirectlythecollege-doorsclosedbehindthem.--AndhereagainLaurawasaheretic.Forshecouldnotcontemplatethefuturethatwastobeherswhenshehadfinishedhereducation,butwithafeelingofawe:itwasstillsodistantastobeonedensebluehaze;itwassovast,thatthinkingofittookyourbreathaway:therewasroominitforthemostwonderfulmiraclesthathadeverhappened;itmightcontainanything--fromgoldenslipperstoaJacob'sladder,bymeansofwhich

youwouldscaletheskies;andwiththesemarvellousperhapsesawaitingyou,itwasimpossibletolimityourhopestoonesingleevent,which,thoughitsavedyoufromderision,wouldputanend,forever,toallpossible,excitingcontingencies.

Thesethoughtscameandwent.Inthemeantime,despiteherape-likestudyofhercompanions,sheremainedwheretheothersexwasconcernedadishearteningfailure.Afurtherincidentdrovethishomeanew.

OneSaturdayafternoon,thoseboarderswhohadnotbeeninvitedoutwere



takentoseeacricket-match.Theywereamerehandful,eightornineatmost,andMissSnodgrassalonewasincharge.Allherfriends[P.154]beingawaythatday,Laurahadtobringuptherearwiththegovernessandoneofthelittlegirls.Thoughtheirwalkledthemthroughpleasantparks,shewasgladwhenitwasover;forshedidnotenjoyMissSnodgrass'scompany.Shewasnomatchforthiscrisplysarcasticgoverness,andhadtobethewholetimeonherguard.ForMissSnodgrasswasnotonlyagreattalker,buthadalsoaveryinquiringmind,andseemedalwaystryingtoferretoutjustthosethingsyoudidnotcaretotell--suchasthesizeofyourhome,orthesocialpositionyouoccupiedinthetownshipwhereyoulived.

Arrivedatthecricketground,theyclimbedtheGrandStandandsatdowninoneofthebackrows,totherearoftheotherspectators.Beforethemslopedasteepbankofhatsgaily-floweredandribbon-bandedhats--oflightanddarkshoulders,ofalert,boyishprofilesandpale,prettyfaces--arepresentativegatheringofyoungAustralia,bathedinthebrilliantMarchlight.

Laura'sseatwasbetweenhertwocompanions,anditwasherethemalheuroccurred.Duringanintervalinthegame,oneofthegirlsaskedthegoverness'sleavetospeaktohercousin;andthereuponashyladwasthetargetfortwentyeyes.Hewasaccompaniedbyafriend,who,inwaiting,satdownjustbehindLaura.ThisboywasaddressedbyMiss

Snodgrass;butheansweredawkwardly,andafterapause,Laurafeltherselfnudged.

"Youcanspeaktohim,Laura,"whisperedMissSnodgrass.--SheevidentlythoughtLaurawaitedonlyforpermission,toburstin.

Laurahadalreadyfanciedthattheboylookedatherwithinterest.Thiswasnotimprobable;forshehadherbesthaton,whichmadehereyesseemverydark--"likesloes,"Chinkysaid,thoughneitherofthemhadanyclearideawhatasloewas.

Still,apromptingtospeechinvariablytiedhertongue.Shehalfturned,andstoleanuneasypeepatthelad.Hemightbeayearolder

thanherself;hehadafrank,sunburntface,blueeyes,andalmostwhiteflaxenhair.Shetookheartofgrace.

"Is'poseyouoftencomehere?"sheventuredatlast.

"Youbet!"saidtheboy;butkepthiseyeswheretheywereonthepitch.

"Cricket'salovelygame...don'tyouthinkso?"

Nowhelookedather;butdoubtfully,fromtheheightofhisfourteenmaleyears;anddidnotreply.

"Doyouplay?"

Thiswasafalsemove,shefeltitatonce.Herquestionseemedtooffendhim."ShouldratherthinkIdid!"heansweredwithahaughtyair.

Weaklyshehastenedtoretractherwords."Oh,Imeantmuch--ifyouplayedmuch?"

"ComestothesamethingIguess,"saidtheboy--hehadnotyetreachedtheageofobligatorypoliteness.



"Itmustbesplendid"--hereshefaltered--"fun."

Buttheboy'sthoughtshadwandered:hewasmakingsignstoafrienddowninthefrontoftheStand.--MissSnodgrassseemedtorepressasmile.

Here,however,thelittlegirlatLaura'ssidechimedin."Ithinkcricket'sawfulrot,"sheannounced,inacheepyvoice.

Nowwhatwasit,Lauraaskedherself,inthesewords,orinthetoneinwhichtheyweresaid,thatatoncerivetedtheboy'sattention.Forhelaughedquitebrisklyasheasked;"What'sakidlikeyouknowaboutit?"

"Jus'asmuchasIwantto.An'mysistersaysso'swell."

"Getalongwithyou!Who'syoursister?"

"Ooh!--wouldn'tyouliketoknow?You'veneverseenherinScots'ChurchonSundaysIs'pose--oh,no!"

"Byjingo!--IshouldsayIhave.An'you,too.You'rethelittlesisterofthatdaisywiththesimplyrippinghair."

Thelittlegirlactuallymadeagrimaceathim,screwinguphernose."Yes,youcanbecivilnow,can'tyou?"

"Myaunt,butshe'satip-topper--yoursister!"

"YougotoScots'Churchthen,doyou?"hazardedLaura,inanattempttore-entertheconversation.

"ThinkIcouldhaveseenherifIdidn't?"retortedtheboy,inthetoneof:"Whatafoolquestion!"Healsoseemedtohavebeenonthepointofadding:"Goose,"or"Sillybones."

Thelittlegirlgiggled."She'schurch"--bywhichshemeant

episcopalian.

"Yes,butIdon'tcareabitwhichIgoto,"Laurahastenedtoexplain,fearfullestsheshouldbeaccountedasnobbythisdissenter.Theboy,however,wassofaintlyinterestedinhertheologicalwobblingsthat,evenasshespoke,hehadrisenfromhisseat;andthenextmomentwithoutanotherwordhewentaway.--ThistimeMissSnodgrasslaughedoutright.

Laurastared,withblurredeyes,atthewhite-cladformsthatbegantodotthegreenagain.Herlidssmarted.Shedidnotdaretoputupherfingerstosqueezethegatheringtearsaway,andjustasshewaswonderingwhatsheshoulddoifonewasinconsiderateenoughtoroll

downhercheek,sheheardavoicebehindher.

"Isay,Laura...Laura!"--andtherewasChinky,inherbestwhitehat.

"I'msittingwithmyauntjustafewrowsdown;butIcouldn'tmakeyoulook.CanIcomeinnexttoyouforaminute?"

"Ifyoulike,"saidLauraand,becauseshehadtosniffalittle,verycoldly:Chinkyhadnodoubtalsobeenawitnessofherfailure.



Thegirlsqueezedpastandsharedherseat."Idon'ttakeupmuchroom."

Laurafeignedtobeengrossedinthegame.Butpresentlyshefeltherbarewristtouched,andChinkysaidinherear:"Whatprettyhandsyou'vegot,Laura!"

Sheburiedtheminherdress,atthis.ShefounditintheworstpossibletasteofChinkytotrytoconsoleher.

"Wouldn'tyouliketoweararingononeofthem?"

"No,thanks,"saidLaura,inthesamerepellentway.

"Truly?I'dlovetogiveyouone."

"You?WherewouldYOUgetit?"

"Wouldyouwearit,ifIdid?"

"Letmeseeitfirst,"wasLaura'sgracelessreply,asshereturnedtoherstonycontemplationofthegreatsunlitexpanse.

ShewassureMissSnodgrass,ongettinghome,wouldlaughwith

theothergovernessesoverwhathadoccurred--ifnotwithsomeofthegirls.ThestorywouldleakoutandcometoTilly'sears;andTillywoulddespisehermorethanshedidalready.Sowouldalltherest.Shewasbranded,asitwas,fornothavingasinglestringtoherbow.Now,ithadbecomeplaintoherthatshecouldneverhopeforone;for,whenitcametoholdingaboy'sattentionforfivebriefminutes,shecouldbeputintheshadebyachildofeightyearsold.

XVI.

Since,however,itseemedthatsomeonehadtobelovedifyouweretobeabletoholdupyourheadwiththerest,thenitwaseasier,infinitelyeasier,tolovethecurate.Withthecurate,nopersonalcontactwasnecessary--andthatwasmorethancouldbesaidevenofthemusic-masters.Inregardtothem,pressuresofthehand,aswellascountlessnothings,wereexpectedandenacted,inthebi-weeklyreportsyourenderedtothoseofyourfriendswhofollowedthecase.Whereasforthecurateitwaspossibletosimulateimmenseardour,withoutneedingeithertohumbleyourprideorcallinventiontoyouraid:theworshiptookplacefromafar.Thecuratewas,moreover,nounworthyobject;indeedhewasquiteattractive,inalean,asceticfashion,withhis

spiritualblueeyes,andtheplaingoldcrossthatdangledfromhisblackwatch-ribbon--though,itmustbeadmitted,whenhepreached,andgrewgreatlyinearnest,hismouthhadawayofopeningasifitmeanttoswallowthechurch--andLaurawasbynomeanshissoleadmirer.Severalofherfriendshadafancyforhim,especiallyashiswife,whowasmucholderthanhe,wasathin,elderlyladywithatiredface.

Andnow,byherownexperience,Laurawasledtothefollowingdiscovery:that,ifyouimagineathingwithsufficientforce,youcaninduceyourimaginingtobecomereality.Bydintofpretendingthatit



wasso,shegraduallyworkedherselfupintoanattackoflove,whichwasgenuineenoughtomakeherreddenwhenMr.Shepherdwasspokenof,andtoenjoybeingteasedabouthim.Andsince,atanyratewheninchurch,shewasasincerelyreligiouslittlegirl,andonetowhom--notwithstandingherprotestedindifferencetoformsofworship--suchemotionalaccessoriesasflowers,andmusic,andhighlycolouredvestmentsmadeastrongappeal,herfeelingsforMr.Shepherdweresoonmysticallyjumbledupwithherpiety:theeastwardslantfortheCreed,andtheSalutationattheSacredName,seemednotalonehomageduetotheDeity,butalsoakindofminorhomageofferedtoandacceptedbyMr.Shepherd;theschool-pewbeingsonearthechancelthatitwasnotdifficulttobelieveyourselftherecipientofpersonalnotice.

Athomeduringthewinterholidays,hisnamechancedtocrossherlips.StraightwayitoccurredtoMotherthathewasthenephewofanoldfriendwhomshehadlonglostsightofletterspassedbetweenWarrenegaandMelbourne,andshortlyafterherreturntotheCollegeLauralearntthatshewastospendthecomingmonthlyholidayatMr.Shepherd'shouse.

Intheagitatedframeofmindthisthrewherinto,shedidnotknowwhethertobegladorsorry.Herfeelingshad,oflate,gotintosucharaptandpiousmuddlethatitseemedalittlelikebeingaskedouttomeetGod.Ontheotherhand,shecouldnotbutseethatthecircumstance

wouldraiseherstandingatschool,immeasurably.Andthisitdid.Assoonasthefirstshockhadpassedshecommunicatedthefactfreely,andwasshrewdenoughnottorelatehowtheinvitationhadcomeabout,allowingittobeputdown,asherfriendswerebuttooreadytodo,totheeffectproducedontheministerbyhersilentadoration.

TheChurchgirlswerewildwithenvy.Laurawasdraggedupthegardenwithanarmthrustthrougheachofhers.Mr.Shepherd'sholycallingandspiritualappearancestoodhiminsmallsteadhere;andtheblackestinterpretationwasputonthematterofthevisit.

"Nicethingsyou'llbeupto,thepairofyou--oh,myaunt!"ejaculatedMaria.

"Ithinkit'sbeastlyriskyhergoingatall,"filledinKateHorner,gobblingalittle;forherupperlipoverhungthelower."Thesesaintsareoftenestbad'uns."

"Yes,andwithanAuntSallylikethatforawife.--Nowlookhere,Kiddy,justyouwatchyou'renotleftalonewithhiminthedark."

"Andmind,you'vegottotelluseverything--everyblessedthing!"

Laurawascalledfor,onSaturdaymorning,bythemaidensisterofherdivinity.MissIsabellaShepherdwasafair,short,pleasantyoungwoman,withanervous,kindlysmile,andacongenitalinabilitytolook

youinthefacewhenspeakingtoyou;sothattheimpressionshemadewasthatofaperpetualfriendliness,directed,however,notatyou,butattheinanimateobjectsaroundyou.Laurawassotickledbythispeculiarity,whichshespiedthemomentsheenteredthewaiting-room,thatatfirstshecouldtakeinnothingelse.Afterwards,whenthenoveltyhadwornoff,shesubjectedhercompaniontoacloserscrutiny,andfromtheheightofthirteenyearshadsoontaxedherwithbeingafrumpisholdmaid;thevaliantbutfeebleeffortsMissIsabellamadetoentertainher,astheywalkedalong,onlystrengtheningherinthisopinion.



NotveryfarfromtheCollegetheyenteredasmall,two-storiedstonehouse,whichbutforanironrailingandashrubortwogaverightonthestreet.

"Willyoucomeuptothestudy?"saidMissIsabella,smilingwarmly,andoglingthedoor-mat."I'msureRobbywouldliketoseeyouatonce."

Robby?HersaintcalledRobby?--Laurablushed.

ButattheheadofthestairstheywerebroughtupshortbyMrs.Shepherd,who,policeman-like,raisedawarninghand.

"Hssh...ssh...sh!"shebreathed,andsimultaneouslyhalf-closedhereyes,asifimitatingslumber."Robbyhasjustlaindownforafewminutes.Howareyou,dear?"--inawhisper."I'msopleasedtoseeyou."

Shelookedevenmorefadedthaninchurch.Butshewasverykind,andinthebedroominsistedongettingoutacleantowelforLaura.

"Nowwe'llgodown.--It'sonlylunchto-day,forRobbyhasaconfirmation-classimmediatelyafterwards,anddoesn'tcaretoeatmuch."

Theydescendedtothedining-room,butthoughthemealwasserved,didnottaketheirseats:theystoodabout,inakindofanxioussilence.Thislastedforseveralminutes;then,heavyfootstepswereheardtramplingoverhead:thesepersisted,butdidnotseemtoadvance,andatlengththerewasaloud,impatientshoutof:"Maisie!"

Bothladieswereperceptiblyflurried."Hecan'tfindsomething,"saidMissIsabellainastage-whisper;whileMrs.Shepherd,takingthefrontofherdressinbothhands,setoutforthestairswiththeshort,clumsyjerkswhich,inawoman,passforrunning.

Aminuteortwolatertheoriginoftheflustercamein,looking,it

mustbeconfessed,notmuchmoreamiablethanhisvoicehadbeen:hewasextremelypale,too,hisblueeyeshadhollowringsroundthem,andthereweretiredwrinklesonhisforehead.HoweverheofferedLauraafriendlyhandwhichshetookwithhersoulinhereyes.

"Well,andsothisistheyoungladyfreshfromthehallsoflearning,isit?"heasked,afteramumbledgrace,ashecarvedarathernakedmutton-bone:theknifecaughtinthebone;hewrencheditfreewithanill-naturedtweak."Andwhatdotheyteachyouatcollege,miss,eh?"hewenton."French?...Greek?...Latin?Howgoesit?INFANDUM,REGINA,JUBESRENOVAREDOLOREM--isn'tthatthewayofit?Andthen...letmesee!It'ssolongsinceIwenttoschool,youknow."

"TROJANASUTOPESETLAMENTABILEREGNUMERUERINTDANAI,"saidLaura,almostblindwithprideandpleasure.

"Well,well,well!"heexclaimed,inwhatseemedtremendoussurprise;but,evenasshespoke,histhoughtsweresweptaway;forhehadtakenupamustard-potandfounditempty."Yes,yes,hereweareagain!Notascrapofmustardonthetable."--Hisvoicewasangrilyresigned.

"WithMUTTON,Robbydear?"venturedMrs.Shepherd,withtheutmosthumbleness.



"WithmuttonifIchoose!"heretortedviolently."WILLyou,Maisie,bekindenoughtoallowmetoknowmyowntastesbest,andnotdictatetomewhatIshalleat?"

ButMrs.Shepherd,murmuring:"Ohdear!it'sthatdreadfulgirl,"hadalreadymadeatimidspringatthebell.

"PoorRobby...sorushedagain!"saidIsabellainareproachfultone.

"Andwhileshe'shereshemaybringthewaterandtheglassesaswell,"snarledthemasterofthehouse,whohadrunaflamingeyeoverthetable.

"Tch,tch,tch!"saidMrs.Shepherd,withsolittlespiritthatLaurafeltquitesorryforher.

"REALLY,Maisie!"saidMissIsabella."Andwhenthepoorboy'ssorushed,too."

Thisguerillawarfarecontinuedthroughoutluncheon,andleftLaurawonderingwhy,consideringthedearthoftime,andthedistressoftheladiesateachfreshcontretemps,theydidnotjumpupandfetchthemissingarticlesthemselves--asMotherwouldhavedone--insteadof

eachtimeringingthebellandwaitingfortheappearanceofthesaucy,unwillingservant.Asitturnedout,however,theirbehaviourhadapedagogicbasis.Itseemedthattheyhoped,byconstantlysummoningthemaid,tosharpenhermemory.ButMrs.Shepherdwasalsoimplicatedinthemethod;andthiswasthereasonwhyIsabella--assheafterwardsexplainedtoLaura--neverofferedherathimblefulofhelp.

"Mysister-in-lawisnothingofamanager,"shesaid."Butwestilltrustshewillimproveintime,ifshealwayshasherattentiondrawntoherforgetfulness--atleastRobbydoes;I'mafraidIhaverather[P.165]givenherup.ButRobby'spatienceisangelic."AndLaurawasofthesameopinion,sincethecouplehadbeenmarriedformorethansevenyears.

Themomentthemeal,whichlastedaquarterofanhour,wasover,Mr.Shepherdclappedonhisshovel-hatandstarted,withlongstrides,forhisclass,Mrs.Shepherd,whohadnotbeenquiteready,scuttlingalongahundredyardsbehindhim,withquick,fussysteps,andbonnetanawry.

LauraandIsabellastoodatthegate.

"Ioughtreallytohavegone,too,"saidIsabella,andsmiledatthegutter."Butasyouarehere,RobbysaidIhadbetterstayathometo-day.--Nowwhatwouldyouliketodo?"

Thisopenedupadazzlingprospect,withthewholeofMelbournebefore

one.ButLaurawastoopolitetopretendanythingbutindifference.

"Well,perhapsyouwouldn'tmindstayinginthen?IwantsomuchtocopyoutRobby'ssermon.Ialwaysdoit,youknow,forhecan'treadhisownwriting.Buthewon'texpectitto-dayandhe'llbesopleased."

Itwasacool,quietlittlehouse,withtheslightlyunusedsmellintheroomsthatbetokensalackofchildren.Lauradidnotdislikethequiet,andsatcontentedlyinthefrontparlourtilleveningfell.Not,however,thatshewasreallywithinhundredsofmilesofMelbourne;for



thewonderfulbookthatsheheldonherkneewascalledKINGSOLOMON'SMINES,andhereyesneverrosefromthepages.

Supper,whenitcame,wasasscrappyandashurriedaslunchhadbeen:aclassofworking-menwasmomentlyexpected,andRobbyhadjusttimetogulpdownacupoftea.Norcouldheconverse;forhewasobligedtosparehisthroat.

Afterwardsthethreeofthemsatlisteningtotheloudtalkingoverhead.Thiscamedowndistinctlythroughthethinceiling,andMr.Shepherd'svoice--itwentonandon--sounded,atsuchclosequarters,bothharshandrasping.Mrs.Shepherdwasmendingastole;Isabellastoopedoverthesermon,whichshewaswritinglikecopperplate.Laurasatinacornerwithherhandsbeforeher:shehadfinishedherbook,buthereyeswerestillvisionary.Whenanyofthethreespoke,itwasinalowtone.

Towardsnineo'clockMrs.Shepherdfetchedalittlesaucepan,filleditwithmilk,andsetitonthehob;andafterthisshehoveredundecidedlybetweendoorandfireplace,likeadistractedmoth.

"Nowdotrytogetitrightto-night,Maisie,"admonishedIsabella;and,turningherface,ifnotherglance,toLaura,sheexplained:"Itmustboil,butnothaveascrapofskinonit,orRobbywon'tlookatit."

Presentlytheworking-menwereheardpoundingdownthestairs,andthereuponMaisievanishedfromtheroom.

ThenextdayLauraattendedmorningandeveningserviceatStStephen's-on-the-Hill,andintheafternoonmadeoneofIsabella'sclassatSundayschool.

Thatmorningshehadwakened,inwhatseemedtobethemiddleofthenight,tofindIsabelladressingbythelightofasinglecandle.

"Don'tyougetup,"saidthelatter."We'reallgoingtoearlyservice,andIjustwanttomakeRobbysomebreadandmilkbeforehand.Hewould

rathercommunicatefasting,buthehastohavesomething,forhedoesn'tgethometilldinner-time."

Whenmiddaycame,Robbywasveryfractious.Themutton-bone--nocookingwasdone--washarderthanevertocarvewithdecency;andpoorMrs.Shepherd,forsheerfidgetiness,couldhardlyswallowabite.

Butatnineo'clockthatevening,whenthelaboursofthedaywerebehindhim,hewaspersuadedtoliedownonthesofaanddrinkaglassofport.AthisheadsatMrs.Shepherd,holdingthewineandsomebiscuits;athisfeetIsabella,strokinghissoles.Thestimulantrevivedhim;hegrewquitemellow,andpresently,takinghiswife'shand,hehelditinhis--andLaurafeltsurethatallhisquerulousness

wasforgivenhimforthesakeofthismoment.Then,findingawillinglistenerintheblack-eyedlittlegirlwhosatbeforehim,hebegantotalk,torelatehistravels,giving,inparticular,avividaccountofsomemonthshehadoncespentinJapan.Laura,wholikednothingbetterthantravellingatsecondhand--sinceanyotherwaywasoutofthequestion--Lauraspentadelightfulhour,andsaidso.

"Yes,Robbyquitesurpassedhimselfto-night,Ithought,"saidIsabellaassheletdownherhair."Ineverheardanyonewhocouldtalkaswellashedoeswhenhelikes.--Canyoukeepasecret,Laura?Wearesure,



MaisieandI,thatRobbywillbeaBishopsomeday.Andhemeanstobe,himself.--Butdon'tsayawordaboutit;hewon'thaveitmentionedoutofthehouse.--Andmeanwhilehe'sworkingashardashecan,andwe'resavingeverypenny,tolethimtakehisnextdegree."

"Idohopeyou'llcomeagain,"shesaidthefollowingmorning,astheywalkedbacktotheCollege."Idon'tmindtellingyounow,IfeltquitenervouswhenRobbysaidweweretoaskyou.I'vehadnoexperienceoflittlegirls.Butyouhaven'tbeentheleasttrouble--notabit.AndI'msureitwasgoodforRobbyhavingsomethingyoungaboutthehouse.Somindyouwriteandtelluswhenyouhaveanotherholiday"--andIsabella'ssmilebeamedoutoncemore,nonethelesskindlybecauseitwascaught,onitswaytoLaura,bythegatetheywerepassingthrough.

Laura,whosemindwassetonagood,satisfyingslabofcake,promisedtodothis,althoughherfeelingshadsufferedsogreatachangethatshewasnotsurewhethershewouldkeepherword.Shewaspulledtwoways:ontheonesidewastheremembranceofMr.Shepherdhackingcantankerouslyatthebaremutton-bone;ontheother,thecherry-blossomandthemousmesofJapan.

XVII.

OHNMACHTZURLUGEISTLANGENOCHNICHTLIEBEZURWAHRHEIT....WERNICHTLUGENKANN,WEISSNICHT,WASWAHRHEITIST.

NIETZSCHE

Apantomimeofknowingsmilesandinterrogatorygrimacesgreetedher,when,havingbrushedthecake-crumbsfromhermouth,shejoinedherclass.ForthetwinklingofaneyeLaurahesitated,beingunprepared.

Then,however,aslittleableasacomicactortoresistpanderingtothetasteofthepublic,sheyieldedtothishungerforspicyhappenings,anddidwhatwasexpectedofher:clappedherhands,oneovertheother,toherbreast,andcasthereyesheavenwards.Curiosityandanticipationreachedahighpitch;whileLaura,bytragicallyshakingherhead,gaveittobeunderstoodthatnosignscouldtransmitwhatshehadbeenthrough,sinceseeingherfriendslast.

Inthethickofthismessageshewas,unluckily,caughtbyDrPughson,who,afterdealingheroneofhisbutcherlygibes,badehertotheblackboard,tograpplewiththeSeventhProposition.

Theremainderoftheforenoonwasatusslewithlessonsnotglancedat

sinceFridaynight.--Besides,Lauraseldomforestalledeventsbythinkingoverthem,choosingrathertotrustforinspirationtothespurofthemoment.

Morningschoolatanend,shewaslaidhandsonandhurriedofftoaretiredcornerofthegarden.Here,fourfriendssquattedround,determinedtoextractheradventuresfromher--tothelastpip.

Laurawasinaprettypickle.Didshetelltheplaintruth,statethepedestrianfacts--andthisshewouldhavebeencapableofdoingwith



someaddress;forshehadlookedthroughherhostswithaperspicacityuncommoninagirlofherage;hadonceagainputtogoodusethose'sharp,unkindeyes'whichMotherdeplored.Shehadseenanoverworked,underfedman,whonaggedlikeanywoman,andmadeslavesoftwoweak,adoringladies;andsheverywellknewthat,asoftenasherthoughtsinfuturealightedonMr.Robby,shewouldthinkofhimpinchingandscrewing,withahawk-likeeyeonashadowybishopric.Ofherwarmfeelingsforhim,genuineorimaginary,notaspeckremained.Thefirsttouchofrealityhadsunkthembelowherken,justasadropofcoldwatersinksthefloatinggroundsinacoffee-pot...Butdidsheconfessthis,confessalsothat,saveforahandfulofmonosyllables,heronlyexchangeofwordswithhimhadbeenalineofVirgil;and,stillmorehumbling,thatshehadlikedhiswifeandsisterbetterthanhimself:didthiscometolight,shewouldforfeiteverysouoftheprestigethevisithadlentandyetpromisedtolendher.And,nowthatthepossiblemomentforpartingwiththisborrowedsupporthadcome,sherecognisedhowgreatlyshehadbuiltonit.

Thesethoughtswhizzedthroughhermind,asshedartedalookatthefourpredatoryfacesthathemmedherin.Tilly'swasoneofthem:thelightlymockingsmilesatonitthatLaurahadcometoknowsowell,sincehermaladroithandlingofBob.Shewouldkillthatsmile--andifshehadtodieforitherself.

Still,shemustbecautious,waryinpickinghersteps.Especiallyasshehadnottheghostofanideahowtobegin.

Meanwhilecriesofimpatiencebuzzedroundher.

"Shedoesn'twanttotell."

"Meanbrute!"

"Shouldn'twonderifit'stoodashedshady."

"Didn'tISAYhewasabad'un?"

"Ibetyouthere'snothingtotell,"saidTillycockily,andturneduphernose.

"Yes,thereis,"flungoutLaura,atonceputonthedefensive,andasshespokeshecoloured.

"Lookather!Lookhowredshe'sgot!"

"Andaftershepromised--thesneak!"

"I'mnotasneak.IAMgoingtotell.Butyou'reallinsuchabloominghurry."

"Oh,fireaway,slow-coach!"

"Well,girls,"beganLauragamely,breathingalittlehard.--"But,mind,youmustneverutterawordofwhatI'mgoingtotellyou.It'sadeadsecret,andIFyouleton----"

"S'helpmeGod!"

"AnaniasandSapphira!"



"Oh,DOhurryup."

"Well...well,he'sjustthemost--oh,Idon'tknowhowtosayit,girls--theMOST----"

"Justscrumptious,Isuppose,eh?"

"Justpositivelyscrumptious,and..."

"Andwhat'dhedo?"

"Andwhatabouthisoldsketchofawife?"

"Her?Oh"--andLaurasqueezedherselfdesperatelyforthedetailsthatWOULDnotcome--"oh,whyshe'sjustaperfectold...oldcat.Andtwentyyearsolderthanhim."

"Whatonearthdidhemarryherfor?"

"Guesshe'sprettysickofbeingtiedtoanoldginlikethat?"

"Ishouldsay!PerfectlyMISERABLE.Hecan'tthinknowwhyhelethimselfbeinducedtomarryher.Hejustdespisesher."

"Well,whyinthenameofallthat'sholydidhetakeher?"

Lauracastamysteriousglanceround,andloweredhervoice."Well,yousee,shehadLOTSofmoneyandhehadnone.Hewaseversopoor.Andshepaidforhimtobeaclergyman."

"Goon!Aspoorasallthat?"

"Aspoorasachurch-mouse.--But,oh,"shehastenedtoadd,atthevisiblecooling-offofthefourfaces,"hecomesofaMOSTdistinguishedfamily.Hisfatherwasalordorabaronetorsomethinglikethat,buthemarriedabeautifulgirlwhohadn'tapennyagainsthisfather'swillandsohecuthimoutofhiswill."

"Isay!"

"Oh,nevermindthefather."

"Yes.Well,nowhefeelsunderanawfulobligationtoher,andallthatsortofthing,youknow."

"Andshedrivesithome,Ibet.Shelooksanipper."

"Isalwaysthrowingitinhisface."

"Whataghoul!"

"He'ddojustANYTHINGtogetridofher,but--Girls,it'sadeadsecret;youmustswearyouwon'ttell."

Gesturesofassurancewereshoweredonher.

"Well,he'stobeaBishopsomeday.It'spromisedhim."

"HolyMoses!"



"AndIsupposehecan'tdivorceher,becauseofthat?"

"No,ofcoursenot.He'llhavetodragherwithhimlikemillstoneroundhisneck."

"Andhe'dtwiggedrightenoughyouweregoneonhim?"

Laura'scoysmilehintedmanythings."Ishouldsayso.Sincetheveryfirstdayinchurch.Hesaid--butIdon'tliketotellyouwhathesaid."

"Youmust!"

"No.You'llonlycallmeconceited."

"Nofear,Kiddy.Outwithit!"

"Well,then,hesaidhesawmeassoonashegotinthepulpit,andhewonderedeversomuchwhothegirlwaswiththeeyeslikesloes,andtheskinlike...likecream."

"Snakes-alive-oh!Hewentitstrong."

"Andhowoftenwereyoualonewithhim?"

"Yes,andifhehadmetmebeforehewasmarried--butno,Ican'ttellanymore."

"Oh,don'tbesuchanass!"

"No,Ican't.--Well,I'llwhisperitthen...butonlytoMaria,"andleaningoverLauraputherlipstoMaria'sear.

Thereasonforthisby-strokeshecouldnothavetold:thedetailsheimparteddidnotdiffersubstantiallyfromthosethathadgonebefore.--Butbynowshewasattheendofhertether.

Here,fortunatelyforLaura,thedinner-bellrang,andthegirlshadtotaketotheirheelsinordertogettheirbooksputawaybeforegrace.Throughoutthemeal,fromtheirscatteredseats,theyexchangedlooksofunderstanding,andtheircheekswerepink.

Intheafternoon,Laurawasagaincalledontoprovehermettle.HercompaniononthedailywalkwasKateHorner.Katehadbeenoneofthefour,anddidnotlosethischanceofbeatingupfreshparticulars.

Afterthosefirstfewawkwardmoments,however,whichhadcomewellnighbeingafiasco,Laurahadnomoretroublewithherstory.Indeed,theplungeoncetaken,itwasastoundinghoweasyitbecametomakeupthingsabouttheShepherds;thedifficultywas,toknowwheretostop.

Fictitiousdetailscrowdedthickandfastuponher--aregularhotchpotch;shehadonlytostretchoutherhandandseizewhatsheneeded.Itwassimplerthanthefive-timesmultiplication-table,anddidnotneedtobelearnt.Butallthesameshewasnotidle:shepolishedawayatherflimflams,bringingthemnearerandnearerprobability,never,thankstohersoundmemory,contradictingherselformakingaslip,andalwaysabletobeginagainfromthebeginning.

Suchinitialscepticismasmayhavelurkedinherhearerswassoongotthebetterof.For,crassrealiststhoughtheseyoungcolonialswere,



andbluntlyastheyfacedfacts,theywerenonethelessjustashungryforromanceasthemostinsatiablenovel-reader.Romanceinanyguisewashailedbythem,andswalloweduncritically,thoughitwasnomorepermittedtointerferewiththepracticalconductoftheirlivesthanitisinthecaseofjustthatnovel-reader,whoputsuntruthandunrealityfromhim,whenhelayshisbookaside.--Anotherandweightierreasonwas,theirslowerbrainscouldnotconceivethepossibilityofsuchextraordinarilydetailedlyingasthattowhichLauranowsubjectedthem.Itsveryelaborationstoodforitstruth.

Andthedayspassed,andLaurahadthehappiestideas.Astrangethingaboutthemwasthattheycametoherquiteunsought,droppingonherlikeAladdin'sorangesonhisturban.Allshehadtodowastofitthemintotheirnicheinherfabrication.

Atfirst,hertalehadbeenchieflyconcernedwiththeinternalriftinMr.Shepherd'shome-life,andonlyinaminordegreewithherself.Butherpublicsavouredthelove-storymost,andhence,consultingitstaste,asitisthetale-maker'sboundendutytodo,Laurawasobligedtodevelopthissideofhernarrativeattheexpenseoftheother.Andthemorethegirlsheard,themoretheywishedtohear.ShehadearlyturnedMissIsabellaintoastaunchallyofherown,inthedissensionshehadintroducedintothecurate'shousehold;andonedayshearrivedatahastykiss,stoleninthevestryaftereveningservice,whileMr.

Shepherdwastakingoffhissurplice.Thepuzzlehadbeen,togetherselfintothevestry;but,oncethere,shesawwhatfollowedasifithadactuallyhappened.ShesawMr.Shepherd'sarmslippedwithdiffidentalacrityroundherwaist,andherownvirtuousrecoil;sawMaisieandIsabellawaiting,sheep-like,intheirpew,tillitshouldpleasethecoupletoemerge;sawtheformofthevergermovingaboutthedarkeningchurch,asheputthelightsout,onebyone.

ButthesuccessthisincidentbroughtherturnedLaura'shead,makinghersofoolhardyinherinventionsthatMaria,whoforallherboldnessofspeechwasatheartaprudeliketherest,grewuneasy.

"You'renottogotothathouseagain,Kiddy.Ifyoudo,I'llpeachto

oldGurley."

Lauraranupstairstodressfortea,takingtwostepsatatime.Onthetoplanding,besidethegreatclothes-baskets,shecollidedwithChinky,whowascomingprimlydown.

"Oki,John!"shegreetedher,beinginavastgood-humour."Whatdoyoulooksoblackfor?"

"Dunno.Whydoyouneverwalkwithmenowadays,Laura?Isay,youknowaboutthatring?Youhaven'tforgotten?"

"Coursenot.WhenamItogetit?Itneverturnsup."Hereyesglittered

assheasked,forsheforesawafurtherlinkinherchain."Soon,now?"

Chinkynoddedmysteriously."Prettysoon.Andyoupromisefaithfullynevertotakeitoff?"

"ButitmustbeaNICEone...witharedstoneinit.Andlisten,Chink,noonemusteverknowitwasyouwhogaveitme."

"Allright,Iswear.You'readarlingtosayyou'llwearit,"andputtingherarmroundLaura'sshoulders,Chinkygaveheraheartykiss.



ThiswasmorethanLaurahadbargainedfor;--shefreedherself,ungraciously."Oh,don't!--nowmind,aredstone,andforthethirdfingerofthelefthand."

"Yes.AndLaura,I'vethoughtofsomethingtoputinside.SEMPEREADEM...doyoulikethat,Laura?"

"It'lldo.--Lookout,there'soldDay!"andleavingChinkystanding,sherandownthecorridortoherroom.

XVIII.

DERVERBRECHERISTHAUFIGGENUGSEINERTATNICHTGEWACHSEN.

NIETZSCHE

Foramonthormore,Laurafedlikeahoneybeeonthesweetsofsuccess.

Andthrove--eventotheblindesteye.Whathadhithertobeenlackingwasnowhers:theadmirationandapplauseofhercircle.AndneverwasachildsospurredandupliftedbypraiseasLaura.Withoutit,hernaturetendedtobewaryandunproductive;andthoseintouchwithher,hadtheywishedtomakethemostofher,wouldnomorehavestintedwiththenecessaryincentive,thatonestintsadelicaterosetreeinaidstogrowth.Lauracouldswallowpraiseinlargedoses,withoutbecomingover-sure.Underthepresentstimulusshesattopinacoupleofclasses,grewslightlyruddierinface,andmuchlessshrinkinginmanner.

"Callherbackatonceandmakehershutthatdoor,"criedMissDaythickly,frombehindoneofthelong,dining-halltables,onwhichwere

rangedstacksandpilesofcleanlinen.Shehadbeenonearlydutysincesixo'clock.

Thepupil-teacherinattendancesteppedobedientlyintothepassage;andLaurareturned.

"Doorsaremadetobeshut,LauraRambotham,I'dhaveyourememberthat!"fumedMissDayinthesameindistinctvoice:shewasinthegripofaheavycold,whichhadnotbeenimprovedbythedraughtsofthehall.

"I'msorry,MissDay.IthoughtIhad.Iwasalittlelate."

"That'syourownlookout,"barkedthegoverness.--"Oh,thereyouareatlast,MissSnodgrass.I'dbeguntothinkyouweren'tgoingtoappearatallthismorning.It'scloseonaquarterpastseven."

"Sorry,"saidMissSnodgrasslaconically."Mywatchmustbelosing.--Well,IsupposeIcanbeginbymarkingLauraRambothamdownlate.--Whatonearthareyoustandingthereholdingthedoorfor?"

"MissDayknows--Idon't,"saucedLaura,andmadeherescape.



ShedidnotletMissSnodgrass'sbadmarkdisturbher.Nosoonerhadshebegunherpractisingthanshefelltoworkagainonthethemethatoccupiedallherleisuremoments,andwasthreateningtoassumethebulkofanearlyVictoriannovel.Butshenowbuiltathertop-heavyedificeforherownenjoyment;andtheusualfateoftherobustliarhadovertakenher:shewasbeginningtobelieveinherownlies.Stillsheneverventuredtorelaxhercriticalalertness,hercarefulsurveillanceofdetail.For,justadayortwobefore,shehadseenaquickflare-upofincredulitylightTilly'sface,andoddlyenoughthishadhappenedwhenshetriedheraudiencewithafact,asimplelittlefact,anincidentthathadreallyoccurred.Shehadkilledthedoubt,instantly,bysmotheringitwithafiction;butshecouldnotforgetthatithadexisted.Ithasveryperplexing;forotherwiseherhearersdidnotshyatamortalthing;shecoulddrivethemwhereandhowshechose.

Atthepresentmomentshewasplanningagreatcoup:nothingmoreorlessthanafrustratedattemptonhervirtue.Itwasalmostreadytobesubmittedtothem--forshehadreadPAMELAwithheartfeltinterestduringtheholidays--andonlyafewconnectinglinksweremissing,withwhichtocompleteherowncase.

Then,withouttheslightestwarning,theblowfell.

ItwasaSundayafternoon;thehalf-hourthatprecededSundayschool.

Laura,incompanywithseveralothers,wasinthegarden,gettingherBiblechapterbyheart,whenMariacalledher.

"Laura!Comehere.Iwanttotellyousomething."

Lauraapproached,herlipsinbusymotion."What'sup?"

"Isay,chicken,yournoseisgoingtobeputoutofjoint."

"Mine?Whatdoyoumean?"queriedLaura,andhadafaintsenseofimpendingdisaster.

"WhatIsay.M.Pidwall'saskedtotheyou-know-who'snextSaturday."

"No,she'snot!"criedLauravehemently,andclappedherBibleto.

"S'helpmeGod,sheis,"assertedMaria.--"Lookout,don'tsettheplaceonfire."

"Howdoyouknow?...whotoldyou?"

"M.P.herself--Gosh,butyouareajealouslittlecub.Oh,goon,Kiddy,don'ttakeitlikethat.Iguesshewon'tgiveyouaway."--ForLaurawasaspaleasamomentbeforeshehadbeenscarlet.

Allegingaviolentheadache,shemountedtoherroom,andsatdownon

herbed.Shefeltstunned,andittookhersometimetorecoverherwits.Sittingontheextremeedgeofthebedstead,shestaredat[P.181]theobjectsintheroomwithoutseeingthem."M.P.'sgoingthereonSaturday...M.P.'sgoingthereonSaturday,"sherepeatedstupidly,and,withherhandspressedonherhips,rockedherselftoandfro,afterthefashionofanolderwomaninpain.

Thefactwastooappallingtobefaced;hermindpostponedit.Instead,shesawthefifty-fiveatSundayschool--wheretheywereatthisminute--drawnupinalineroundthewallsofthedining-hall.Shesawthem



risetowailoutthehymn;sawMr.Stracheyonhischairinthemiddleofthefloor,perpetuallynimmingwithhisleftleg.And,asshepicturedthefamiliarscenetoherself,sheshiveredwithasuddensenseofisolation:behindeachwell-knownfacelurkedapossibleenemy.

IfithadonlynotbeenM.P.!--thatwasthefirstthoughtthatcrystallised.Anyoneelse!...fromanyoftherestshemighthavehopedforsomemercy.ButMaryPidwallwasoneofthosepeople--therewereplentysuch--beforewhomanaturelikeLaura'swasinclined,atthebestoftimes,toshrinkaway,keenlyawareofitsownpaltrinessandineffectualness.Marywasrectitudeinperson:anditcannotbedeniedthat,toLaura,thiswassynonymouswithhard,narrow,ungracious.Notquiteaprig,though:therewasfuninMary,andlifeinher;butitwasneitherfunnorvivacityofakindthatLauracouldfeelateasewith.Suchcapersastheeldergirlcutwereonlyskin-deep;theywereonthesurfaceofhercharacter,hadnorealrootsinher:justasthepiecesofmusicsheplayedonthepianowereaccidentsofthemoment,withoutdeepersignificance.ToMary,lifewasalreadyserious,fullofduties.Sheknewjustwhatshewanted,too,whereshewantedtogoandhowtogetthere;herplanswerecutanddried.Shewasclever,veryindustrious,theheadofseveralofherclasses.Norwassheeverinconflictwiththeauthorities:shemovedamongtherulesoftheschoolassafelyasanegg-danceramonghiseggs.Forthesimplereasonsthattemptationsseemedtopassherby.There

was,besides,akindofmanlyexactnessinherhabitofthinkingandspeaking;anditwasthistraithercompanionstriedtosymbolise,incallingherbytheinitiallettersofhername.

SheandLaura,thoughclassmates,hadneverdrawntogether.Itistrue,Marywassixteen,and,atthattimeoflife,acoupleofyearsdigawidebreach.Buttherewasalsoanotherreason.Once,intheinnocenceofherheart,Laurahadletthecatoutofthebagthatanuncleofherslivedintheup-countrytownshiptowhichMarybelonged.

Thegirlhadeyedhercoldly,incredulously."What?Thatdreadfulmanyouruncle?"shehadexclaimed:sheherselfwasthedaughterofachurchdignitary."IshouldsayIdidknowhim--byreputationatleast.And

it'squiteenough,thankyou."

NowLaurahadunderstoodthatUncleTom--heneededbutapairofgoldearringstoposeasthemodelforaSpanishGrandee--thatUncleTomWASodd,inthisway:hesometimestookmoretodrinkthanwasgoodforhim;butshehadneversuspectedhimofbeing"dreadful",orabywordinWantabadgery.Colouringtotherootsofherhair,shemurmuredsomethingabouthimofcoursenotbeingrecognisedbytherestofthefamily;butM.P.,shewassure,hadneverlookedonherwiththesameeyesagain.

Suchwastherigidyoungmoralistintowhosehandsherfatewasgiven.

Shesatandmeditatedthesethings,inspiritlessfashion.Shewouldhavetoconfesstoherfabrications--thatwasplain.M.P.'sprecisemindwouldbringbackapreciseaccountofhowmattersstoodintheShepherdhousehold:notbyaniotawouldthetruthbeswervedfrom.Why,ohwhy,hadshenotforeseenthispossibility?Whatevilspirithadpromptedherandledheron?--But,beforeherbraincouldcontemplatetheawfulnecessityofrisingandbrandingherselfasaliar,itsoughtdesperatelyforameansofescape.Forawink,sheevennursedtheideaofdragginginashamman,underthepretencethatMr.Shepherdhadbeenbutablind,usedbyhertoscreensomeoneelse.Butthisyarn,twist



itasshemight,wouldnotpassmuster.Againstitwasthemassofheraccumulateddetail.

Shesatthere,devisingschemeafterscheme.Notoneofthemwoulddo.

When,attea-time,sherosetowashherfacebeforegoingdownstairs,thesolepointonwhichshehadcometoclearnesswas,thatjustsevendayslaybetweenheranddetection.--Yetafterall,sheremindedherself,sevendaysmadeaweek,andaweekwasagoodlongtime.PerhapssomethingwouldhappenbetweennowandSaturday.M.P.mighthaveanaccidentandbreakherleg,andnotbeabletogo.Orthin,poorly-fedMr.Shepherdfallillfromoverwork.--Oh,howshewouldrejoicetohearofit!

And,iftheworstcametotheworstandsheHADtotell,atleastitshouldnotbeto-day.To-daywasSunday;andpeople'sthoughtswerefrightfullyatliberty.To-morrowtheywouldbeengagedagain;and,byto-morrow,sheherselfwouldhavegrownmoreaccustomedtotheidea.--Besides,howfoolishtohavebeenintoogreatahurry,shouldsomethingcometopassthatrenderedconfessionneedless.

Onwakingnextmorning,however,andaccounting,withathrob,fortheleadenweightonhermind,shefeltbraver,andquitedeterminedtomakeacleanbreastofhermisdoings.Thingscouldnotgoonlikethis.But

nosoonerwassheplungedintotheroutineofthedaythanherdecisionslackened:itwasimpossibletofindjusttherightmomenttobegin.Earlyinthemorningeveryonewasbusylookingoverlessons,andwouldnotthankyoufortheupset,thedinner-hourwasalltooshort;afterschool,onthewalk,shehadapartnerwhoknewnothingabouttheaffair,andafterteashepractised.--Hence,onMondayherpurposefailedher.

OnTuesdayitwasthesame;therightmomentneverpresenteditself.

Inbedthatnightshemultipliedtheremainingdaysintohours.Theymadeonehundredandtwenty.Thatheartenedheralittle;consideredthus,thetimeseemedverymuchlonger;andsosheletWednesdayslip

by,withoutover-muchworry.

OnThursdayshenotonlyfailedtoownup,butindulgedanew.

Alltheweek,asifMaryPidwall'scomingvisitworkeduponthem,thegirlshadbeenverygreedyformorelove-story,andhadshownthemselvesdecidedlynettledbyLaura'srefusaltocontinue;forthiswastheweekwhenthegreatrevelationshehadhintedatshouldhavebeenmade.Andoneafternoonwhenthefourweretwittingher,andthingswerelookingveryblack,Laurawasincitedbysomedeviltothrowthem,not,itistrue,thesavouryincidenttheirmouthswateredfor,butafreshfiction--justasthebesettravellerthrowswhateverhehasathand,totheravenouswolvesthatpressroundthesledge.Atthemoment,the

excitementthataccompaniesinspirationkeptherup;butafterwardsshehadastingingfitofremorse;andherself-reproacheswereeverywhitasbitterasthoseofthemanwhohasagainbrokenthemorallawhehasvowedtorespect,andwhonowseesthatheispowerlessagainstrecurringtemptation.

Whensherememberedthosefourrapaciousfaces,Laurarealisedthat,comewhatmight,shewouldneverhavethecouragetoconfess.Tothem,atleast.ThatnightindeephumilityshelaidhersinbaretoGod,imploringHim,eventhoughHecouldnotpardonit,toavertthe



consequencesfromher.

ThelastdayswerealsodarkenedbyherbeliefthatM.P.hadgotwindofherromancings:as,indeed,wasquitelikely;forthegirls'tongueswerenonetoosafe.MarylookedatherfromtimetotimewithsuchasternlysuspiciouseyethatLaura'sverystomachquailedwithinher.

Andmeanwhilethegeneroushourshaddeclinedtolessthanhalf.

"Twicemoretogetup,andtwicetogotobed,"shereckonedaloudtoherselfonSaturdaymorning.

Shewasspendingthatweek-endatGodmother's.Itwasasdullasusual;shehadampleleisuretobroodoverwhatlaybeforeher.Itwasnowacertainty,fixed,immovable;for,byleavingschoolthatdaywithouthavingspoken,shehadburnedhershipsbehindher.WhenshewentbackonMondayM.P.wouldbethere,andeveryloopholeclosed.OnSundayeveningshemadeanexcuseandwentdownintothegarden.Therewasnomoon;but,overhead,theindigo-bluewasaprodigalglitterofstars--myriadsofsilvereyesthatperforatedthesky.Theysparkledwithacolddisregardofthesmallgirlstandingunderthemulberrytree;butLaura,too,wasonlyhalf-alivetotheirmagnificence.Herthoughtsranonsuicide,onmakinganendofherblightedcareer.Godwasevidentlynotgoingtobegenerousorlong-sufferingenoughtocome

toheraid;andinimaginationshesawthefifty-fivegainingonherlikeapackofhowlinghyaenas;sawMrs.Gurley,Mr.Strachey--Mother.Detectionandexposure,sheknewitnow,werethemostawfulthingstheworldheld.Butshehadnothinghandy:neitherarope,norpoison,norwasthereadamintheneighbourhood.

Thatnightshehadthefamiliardreamthatshewasbeing"stoodup"andexpelled,asAnnieJohnshadbeen:thousandsoftonguesshoutedherguilt;shewashuntedlikeawallaby.Shewakenedwithascream,andMarina,herbedfellow,roseononeelbowandlightedthecandle.Crumpledanddishevelled,Lauralayoutsidethesheetthatshouldhavecoveredher;andherpillowhadslippedtothefloor.

"Whatonearth'sthematter?Dreaming?Thendependonityou'veeatensomethingthat'sdisagreedwithyou."

Howshedraggedherlegsbacktoschoolthatmorning,Lauraneverknew.Atthesightofthegreatstonebuildingherinnerdisturbancewassuchthatshewasnearlysick.EventheunobservantMarinawasforcedtoaremark.

"Youdolookabitpeaky.I'msureyourstomach'soutoforder.Yourshouldtakeadoseofcastor-oilto-night,beforeyougotobed."

ThoughitwasablazingNovemberday,herfingerswerecoldasshetookoffherhatandchangedherwhitefrock."Forthelasttime,"she

murmured;bywhichshemeantthelasttimeinuntarnishedhonour.Andshefoldedandhungupherclothes,withaneatnessthatwasforeigntoher.

Classeswereinfullswingwhenshewentdownstairs;nothingcouldhappennowtillthecloseofmorningschool.ButLaurasignalisedthebeginningofherdownfall,theendofhercomet-likeflight,bylosingherplaceinoneformafteranother,thelessonsshehadpreparedonFridayeveninghavinggonecleanoutofherhead.



Directlyhalf-pasttwelvestruck,sherantothetopofthegardenandhidherselfunderatree.Thereshecrouched,herfingersinherears,herheartthumpingasifitwouldbreak.Tillthedinner-bellrang.Thenshewasforcedtoemerge--andnototteringcriminal,abouttofacethescaffold,haseverhadmoreneedofDutchcouragethanLaurainthismoment.Peepingroundthecornerofthepathshesawthefatefulgroup:M.P.thecentreoffourgesticulatingfigures.Sheloiteredtilltheyhadscatteredanddisappeared;thenwithshakinglegscrepttothehouse.Atthelongtablesthegirlsstillstood,waitingforMr.Strachey;andtheinstantLaurasetfootinthehall,fivepairsofeyescaughther,heldher,pinnedherdown,asonepinsabutterflytoaboard.Shewasmuchtoofargonetothinkoftossingherheadandbravingthingsout,nowthatthecrisishadcome.Pale,guilty,wretched,shesidledtoherseat.ThiswasnearMaria's,and,asshepassed,Marialeantback.

"YouVILElittleliar!"

"How'sthatshylittlemouseofagirlwehadhereamonthortwoago?"Mr.Shepherdhadinquired."Letmesee--whatwashernameagain?"

TowhichMissIsabellahadreplied:"Well,youknow,Robbydear,youreallyhardlysawher.Youhadsomuchtodo,poorboy,justwhenshewashere.HernamewasLaura--LauraRambotham."

AndMrs.Shepherdgently:"Yes,anicelittlegirl.Butveryyoungforherage.AndSOshy."

"Youwretchedlittlelyingsneak!"

InvainLauraweptandprotested.

"Youmademedoit.Ishouldneverhavetoldaword,ifithadn'tbeenforyou."

Thispointofviewenragedthem."What?Youwanttoputitonusnow,doyou?...youdirtylittleskunk!TosayWEmadeyoutellthatpackof

lies?--Lookhere:aslongasyoustayinthisbloomingshop,I'llneveropenmymouthtoyouagain!"

"SomeoneoughttotelloldGurleyandhaveherexpelled.That'sallshe'sfitfor.Spreadingdisgustingstoriesaboutpeoplewho'vebeenkindtoher.Theyprobablyonlyaskedherthereoutofcharity.She'saspoorasdirt."

"Wantsherbottomsmacked--that'swhatIsay!"

ThusMaria,and,withher,KateHorner.

Tillywascoolerandbitterer."Iwasadashedfoolevertobelievea

word.Imighthaveknownherlittlegame.She?Why,whenItookherouttoseemycousinBob,shecouldn'tsaybotoagoose.Helaughedaboutherafterwardslikeanything;saidsheoughttohavecomeinaperambulator,withanurse.--YOUmakeanyoneinlovewithyou--you!"AndTillyspat,toshowherdisdain.

"Whathavetheybeensayingtoyou,Laura?"whisperedChinky,paleandfrightened."Whateveristhematter?"

"Mindyourownbusinessandgoaway,"sobbedLaura.



"Iam,I'mgoing,"saidChinkyhumbly.--"Oh,Laura,IWISHyouhadthatring."

"Oh,blowyouandyourring!Ihatetheverynameofit,"criedLaura,maddened.--Andretreatingtoalavatory,whichwastheonlyprivateplaceintheschool,sheweptherfull.

Theyall,everygirlofthem,understoodwhitelies,andpractisedthem.Theymightalsohaveforgivenheralieofthegood,plain,straightforward,thumpingorder.Whattheycouldnotforgive,orgetover,wastheextraordinarycircumstantialityofthefictionswhichwithshehadgulledthem:tobeabletoinventlieswithsuchproficiencymeantthatyouhadbeenbornwithacriminalbent.--Andasacriminalshewasaccordinglytreated.

Eventhegrown-upgirlsheardagarbledversionofthestory.

"Whyeverdidyoudoit?"oneofthemaskedLauracuriously;itwasaveryprettygirl,calledEvelyn,withtwinklingbrowneyes.

"Idon'tknow,"saidLauraabjectly;andthiswasalmosttrue.

"ButIsay!...nastytarradiddlesaboutpeoplewho'dbeenso

nicetoyou?Whatmadeyoutellthem?"

"Idon'tKNOW.Theyjustcame."

Thegirl'seyessmiled."Well,Inever!PoorlittleKiddy,"shesaidassheturnedaway.

ButthiswastheonlykindwordLauraheard.Formanyandmanyanightafter,shecriedherselftosleep.

XIX.

ThusLaurawenttoCoventry.--Notthatthesocialbanishmentshenowsufferedwasknownbythatname.TothemajorityofthegirlsCoventrywasjustawordinthegeographybook,aplacewhereribbonsweresaidtobemade,andwhereforabetter-readfew,someonehadhungwithgroomsandportersonabridge;thisdetail,oddtosay,makingadeeperimpressionontheiryoungmindsthanthestoryofLadyGodiva,whichwaslookeduponmerelyasanaughtyanecdote.

But,bywhatevernameitwasknown,Laura'sostracismwascomplete.She

hadbeensampled,tested,putononeside.Andnotthesoftest-heartedcouldfindanexcuseforherbehaviour.

Itwasbutanotherinstanceofhowmisfortunedogshimwhoisdown,thatChinkyshouldchoosethisverymomenttobringfurthershameuponher.

Ononeofthemiserabledaysthatwerenowtherule,whenLaurawouldhavelikedbesttobearabbit,hiddeepinitsburrow;asshewasgoingupstairsoneafternoon,shemetJacob,theman-of-all-work,comingdown.Hehadatrunkonhisshoulder.Throughoutthedayshehadbeenawareof



asubduedexcitementamongtheboarders;theyhadstoodaboutingroups,talkinginlowvoices--talkingabouther,shebelieved,fromtheglancesthatwerethrownovershouldersatherasshepassed.Shemadeherselfassmallasshecould;butwhentea-timecame,andthen[P.192]supper,andChinkyhadnotappearedateithermeal,curiositygotthebetterofher,andshetriedtopumponeoftheyoungergirls.

Mariacameupwhileshewasspeaking,andthechildranaway;forthelittleonesapedtheireldersinmakingLaurataboo.

"What,liar?Youwanttostuffusyoudon'tknowwhyshe'sgone?"saidMaria."No,thankyou,it'snotgoodenough.Youcan'tbamboozleusthistime."

"Sapphirauptohertricksagain,isshe?"threwintheinseparableKate,whohadcaughtthelastwords."No,bydad,wedon'ttellliarswhattheyknowalready.--Soputthatinyourpipeandsmokeit!"

OnlybitbybitdidLauradigouttheirmeaning:then,thehorribletruthlaybare.Chinkyhadbeendismissed--privatelybecauseshewasaboarder--fromtheschool.Hercrimewas:shehadtakenhalf-a-sovereignfromthepurseofoneofherroom-mates.Whentaxedwiththetheft,sheweptthatshehadnottakenitforherself,buttobuyaringforLauraRambotham;and,withthisadmissiononherlips,shepassedoutoftheir

lives,leavingLaura,herconfederate,behind.--Yes,confederate;for,inthemindsofmost,liarandthiefweresynonymous.

LaurahadnotcaredtwostrawsforChinky;shefoundwhatthelatterhaddone,"meananddisgusting",andsaidso,stormily;butofcoursewasnotbelieved.Usuallytooproudtodefendherself,sheherereturnedtothechargeagainandagain;forthehintofconnivancehadtouchedherontheraw.Butshestroveinvaintoproveherinnocence:shecouldnotgetherenemiestograsptheabysmaldifferencebetweenmerelymakingupastoryaboutpeople,andlayinghandsonothers'property;ifshecoulddotheone,shewascapableoftheother;andhercompanionsremainedconvincedthat,ifshehadnotactuallyhadherfingersinsomeone'spurse,shehad,byaloveofjewellery,incitedChinkytothe

theft.Andso,afteratime,Lauragaveuptheattemptandsufferedinsilence;anditWASsuffering;forherschoolfellowswerecruelwiththatintolerance,thatunimaginativedullness,whichmakesawoman'scrueltysohardtobear.Laurahadtoaccustomherselftoheareverywordshesaiddoubted;tohearsomeonecalledto,beforeherface,toattestherstatements;toseeherroom-mateslockuptheirpursesunderherverynose.

However,onlythreeweekshadstilltoruntilltheChristmasholidays.Shedrewtwenty-onestrokesonasheetofpaper,whichshepinnedtothewallaboveherbed;andeachmorningsheranherpencilthroughafreshline.ShewasquiteresolvedtobegMothernottosendherbacktoschool:ifshesaidshewasnotgettingproperfood,thatwouldbe

enoughtoputMotherupinarms.

Theboxeswerebeingfetchedfromthelumber-roomsanddistributedamongtheirowners,whenaletterarrivedfromMothersayingthatthetwolittleboyshadsandyblight,andthatLaurawouldnotbeabletocomehomeundertwoorthreeweeks,forfearofinfection.Theseweeksshewastospend,incompanywithPin,atawatering-placedowntheBay,whereoneofherauntshadacottage.

ThenewswaswelcometoLaura:shehadshrunkfromthethoughtof



Mother'ssearchingeye.Andatthecottagetherewouldbenoneofhergrown-uprelativestoface;onlyanoldhousekeeper,whowaslookingafterapartyofboys.

Hence,whenspeechdaywasover,insteadofsettingoutonanup-countryrailwayjourney,Laura,undertheescortofMissSnodgrass,wentonboardoneofthesteamersthatploughedtheBay.

"Ishouldsaysea-air'lldoyougood--brightenyouupabit,"saidthegovernessaffablyastheydrove:shewasingreatgood-humourattheprospectoflosingsightforatimeofthefifty-five."Youseemtobealwaysinthedumpsnowadays."

LauradutifullywavedherhandkerchieffromthedeckoftheSILVERSTAR;andthepaddlesbegantochurn.AsMissSnodgrass'sbackretreateddownthepier,andthebreachbetweenshipandlandwidened,shesettledherselfonherseatwithafeelingofimmenserelief.Atlast--atlastshewasoff.Themorninghadbeenasoretrialtoher:inallthenoisyandeffusiveleave-taking,shewasoddmanout;noonehadbeensorrytopartfromher;noonehadextractedapromisethatshewouldwrite.HersolevaledictionhadbeenaminatoryshaftfromMaria:ifshevaluedherskin,tolearntostoptellingcramsbeforesheshowedupthereagain.Now,shewasfreeofthem;shewouldnotbehumiliatedafresh,wouldnotneedtostandeyetoeyewithanyonewhoknewofherdisgrace,forweeks

tocome;perhapsneveragain,ifMotheragreed.Herheartgrewmomentarilylighter.AndthefarthertheyleftMelbournebehindthem,thehigherherspiritsrose.

Butthen,too,wasitpossible,onthisradiantDecemberday,longtoremaininwhatMissSnodgrasshadcalled"thedumps"?--Theseawasablue-greenmirror,onthesurfaceofwhichtheyswam.Theskywasastretchedsheetofblue,inwhichthesunhungaveryballoffire.Butthesteamercooledtheairasitmoved;andnoneofthewhite-cladpeoplewho,underthestretchedwhiteawnings,throngedthedeck,feltoppressedbythegreatheat.Inthemiddleofthedeck,abrassbandplayedpopulartunes.

Ataprettywatering-placewheretheystopped,Lauraroseandcrossedtotheoppositerailing.Anumberofpassengerswentashore,pushingandlaughing,butalmostasmanymorecameonboard,alldressedinwhite,andwitheager,animatedfaces.Thentheboatstoodtoseaagainandsailedpasthigh,grass-growncliffs,fromwhichafewoldcannons,pointingtheirnosesatyou,watchedoverthesafetyoftheBay--intheevent,say,oftheJapaneseortheRussiansenteringtheHeadspasttheprettytownship,andthebeflaggedbathing-enclosuresonthebeachbelow.Theynearedthetall,granitelighthouseatthepoint,withtheflagstaffatitssidewhereincomingsteamersweresignalled;andassoonastheyhadroundedthiscornertheywereinviewoftheHeadsthemselves.Fromthedistantcliffsthereranout,oneitherside,brownreefs,whichmadetheinrushingwaterdanceandfoam,andtheentrance

totheBaynarrowanddangerous:ononeside,thereprojectedtheportionofawreckwhichhadlainthereaslongasLaurahadbeenintheworld.Then,havingmadeasharpturntotheleft,theboatcrossedtotheoppositecoast,andsteamedpastbarrack-likebuildingslyingasleepinthefiercesunshineoftheafternoon;and,induecourse,itstoppedatLaura'sdestination.

OldAnnewaswaitingonthejetty,havinghitchedthehorsetoapost:shehaddrivenin,inthe'shandrydan',tomeetLaura.Forthecottagewasnotonthefrontbeach,withthehotelsandboarding-houses,



thefenced-inbathsandgreatgentleslopeofyellowsand:itstoodinthebush,onthebackbeach,whichgavetotheopensea.

Lauratookherseatbesidetheoldwomaninherlinensunbonnet,thebodyofthevehiclebeingpackedfullofgroceriesandotherstores;andthedrivebegan.Directlytheywereclearofthetownshiptheroadasgoodasceased,becameameresandytrack,runningthroughascrubofti-trees.--Andwhatsand!White,dry,slidingsand,throughwhichthehorseshuffledandfloundered,inwhichthewheelssankandstuck.Hadoneofthemanyhillockstobetaken,thetwoonthebox-seatinstinctivelythrewtheirweightforward;oldAnne,whohadastrippedwattle-boughforawhip,urgedandcajoled;andmorethanonceshehandedLaurathereinsandgotdown,togivethehorseapull.Theyhadalwaystobeduckingtheirheads,too,toletthelowti-treebranchessweepovertheirbacks.

Aboutacoupleofmilesout,theoldwomanalightedandslippedarail;andhavingpassedtheonlyotherhousewithincooee,theydrovethroughapaddock,butatawalking-pace,becauseofthethousandsofrabbit-burrowsthatperforatedtheground.Anotherslip-raillowered,theydrewupatthefootofasteepishhill,besideasandylittlevegetablegarden,ashedandapump.Thehousewasperchedonthetopofthehill,anddirectlytheysightedittheyalsosawPinflyingdown,hersunbonnetonherneck.

"Laura,Laura!Oh,IAMgladyou'vecome.Whatatimeyou'vebeen!"

"Hullo,Pin.--Oh,Isay,letmegetoutfirst."

"Andpullupyourbonnet,honey.D'youwanttobeaftergettin'sunstruck?"

GladthoughLaurawastoseehersisteragain,shedidnotmanagetoinfuseaveryheartytoneintohergreeting;forherfirstglimpseofPinhadgivenheradisagreeableshock.Itwasastonishing,thechangethepasthalf-yearhadworkedinthechild;andasthetwoclimbedthe

hilltogether,totheaccompanimentofPin'sbubblytalk,Laurastolelookafterlookatherlittlesister,inthehopeofgrowingusedtowhatshesaw.Pinhadneverbeenpretty,butnowshewas"downrighthideous"--asLauraphrasedittoherself.Elevenyearsofage,shehadatlastbeguntogrowinearnest:herlegswereasofoldmerespindleshanks,butnearlytwiceaslong;andherfatlittlebody,perchedabovethem,madeonethinkofashrivelled-upoldmanwhohasrunalltopaunch.Herface,too,hadincreasedinshapelessness,thefeaturesbeingblurredinthefatmass;herblueeyesweremoreslit-likethanbefore;and,tocapeverything,herfineskinhadabsolutelynochance,sobespatteredwasitwithfreckles.Andnoneofyourprettylittlesun-kisses;butlarge,black,irregularfrecklesthatdisfiguredlikemoles.Laurafeltquitedistressed;itoutragedher

feelingsthatanyonebelongingtohershouldbesougly;andasPin,inhappyignoranceofhersister'sreflections,chatteredon,Lauraturnedoverinhermindwhatsheoughttodo.ShewouldhavetotellPinaboutherself--thatwasplain:shemustbreakthenewstoher,incaseothersshoulddoit,andmorecruelly.ItwasoneconsolationtoknowthatPinwasnotsensitiveaboutherlooks;solongasyoudidnotteaseheraboutherlegs,therewasnolimittowhatyoumightsaytoher:thegrievingwasallfortheonlooker.Butnottoday:thiswasthefirstday;andtherewerepleasanterthingstothinkof.Andso,whentheyhadhadtea--withcondensedmilkinit,forthecowhadgonedry,



andnomilkmancameoutsofar--whenteawasover--andthatwasallthatcouldbeundertakeninthewayofrefreshmentafterthejourney;washingyourfaceandhands,forinstance,wasoutofthequestion;everydropofwaterhadtobecarriedupthehillfromthepump,andoldAnnepurposelykepttheewersemptybyday;ifyouWOULDwash,youmustwashinthesea--assoon,then,asteawasover,thetwosistersmadeforthebeach.

Thefour-roomed,weatherboardcottage,towhichatalaterdatealean-tohadbeenadded,facedthebush:fromtheverandahtherewasawideviewofthesurroundingcountry.Betweenthebackofthehouseandthebeachroseahugesand-hill,sparselygrownwithrushesandcoarsegrass.Ittookyousometwentyminutestotoiloverthis,andbootsandstockingswereuselessimpedimenta;forthesandwasoncemoreofthatlooseandshiftingkindinwhichyousankattimesuptotheknees,fallingbackonestepforeverytwoyouclimbed.Butthen,sandwastheprevailingnoteofthisfreeandeasylife:itbestrewedverandahandfloors;youcarrieditinyourclothes;thebedswerefullofit;itevengotintothefood;andyouweresoonsoaccustomedtoitspresencethatyoumissedthegritofitunderfoot,orthepricklingonyourskin,didoldAnnehappentotakeabroominherhand,orthoroughlyre-makethebeds.--When,however,onyourwaytothebeachyouhadlaboriouslyattainedthesummitofthegreatdune,thesightthatmetyoualmosttookyourbreathaway:asfarastheeyecould

reach,thebluestofskiesmeltingintothebluestofseas,whichbrokeitsfoam-fleckededgeagainsttheflat,brownreefsthatfringedtheshore.Then,downhill--withatripandaflounderthatsentthesandman-high--andatlastyouwereonwhatLauraandPinthoughtthemostwonderfulbeachintheworld.Whatavarietyofthingswasthere!Whitest,purestsand,hottothetouchasazincroofinsummer;rockycaves,andsandycaveshungwithcrumblystalactites;atlowtide,onthereef,lakesandpondsandriversdeepenoughtomakeitunnecessaryforyoutogoneartheever-angrysurfatall;seaweedsthatranthroughthegamutofcolours:brownandgreen,pearl-pinkandcoral-pink,tovividscarletandorange;shells,beginningwithtinygranniesandcowries,andendingwiththemonstersinwhichthebreakershadlefttheirecho;thebonesofcuttlefish,lightaspaper,andshapedlike

javelins.And,whatwasbestofall,thisbeachbelongedtothemalone;theyhadnottoshareitstreasureswithstrangers;excepttheinhabitantsofthecottage,neverasoulsetfootuponit.

Thechiefbusinessofthemorningwastobathe.Ifthegirlswerealoneandthetidefull,theythrewofftheirclothesandranintoasandy,shallowpool,wherethewaternevercameabovetheirwaists,andwhereitwassafetoletthebreakersdashoverthem.Butifthetidewerelow,theboysbathed,too,andthenPinandLauratiedthemselvesupinoldbathing-gownsthatweretoobigforthem,andallwentinabodytothe"Half-MoonHole".Thispool,whichwasabouttwentyfeetlongandtentofifteendeep,layfaroutonthereef,and,athightide,washiddenbeneathsurfandfoam;atlowwater,ontheotherhand,

itwaslikeaglassmirrorreflectingthesky,andsoclearthatyoucouldseeeveryweedthatwavedatthebottom.Havingcastoffyourshoes,youappliedyoursolesgingerlytothepricklesoftherock;thenplop!--andinyouwent.Pinoftenneededashovefrombehind,fornowhere,ofcourse,couldyougetafooting;butLauraswamwiththebest.Someoftheboyswoulddivetothebottomandbringupweedsandshells,butLauraandPinkeptonthesurfaceofthewater;fortheyhadtheimaginativedreadcommontochildrenwhoknowtheseawell--thedreadofwhatmaylurkbeneaththethick,blackhorrorsofseaweed.



Then,afteranhourorsointhewater,hometodinner,hungryasswagmen,thoughthebilloffarenevervaried:itwasalwaysrabbitfordinner,crayfishfortea;forthebutchercalledonlyonceaweek,andmeatcouldnotbekeptanhourwithoutgettingflyblown.Therabbitswereskinnedandinthestew-potbeforetheywerecold;thecrayfishdiedaninstantdeath:onethatdrovethebloodtoLaura'shead,andmadePinrunawayandcry,withherfingerstoherears;forshebelievedthesizzlingofthewater,asthefishweredroppedin,tobetheshriekofthecreaturesintheirdeath-agony.

Exceptinbathing,thegirlssawlittleoftheboys.Bothwereafraidofguns,sodidnotgooutontheexpeditionswhichsuppliedthedinner-table;andoldAnnewouldnotallowthemtojointhecrayfishingexcursions.Forthesetookplacebynight,offtheendofthereef,withnetsandtorches;anditsometimeshappened,ifthesurfwereheavy,thatoneofthefisherswaswashedofftherocks,andonlyhauledupagainwithconsiderabledifficulty.

Lauratookherlastpeepattheoutsideworld,everyevening,inthebriefspanoftimebetweensunsetanddark.Runninguptothetopofoneofthehills,andlettinghereyesrangeoverskyandsea,shewoulddrinkinthescentsthatwerewakingtolifeaftertheburningheatoftheday:saltwater,warmedsandandseaweeds,ti-scrub,sour-grass,andthesturdyberry-bushes,highasherknee,throughwhichshehad

ploughedherway.Thatwasoneofthemomentsshelikedbest,that,andlyinginbedatnightlisteningtotheroarofthesurf,whichwentonandonlikeacannonade,eventhoughthehilllaybetween.Itmadeherfleshcrawl,too,indelightfulfashion,didshepicturetoherselfhowalonesheandPinwere,intheirroom:theboyssleptinthelean-toontheothersideofthekitchen;oldAnneattheback.Formilesround,nohousebrokethesolitudeofthebush;onlyathinwoodenpartitionseparatedherfrompossiblebushrangers,fromthevastnessanddesolationofthenight,theeternalboomingofthesea.

SuchwasthelifeintowhichLauranowthrewherselfheartandsoul,forgetting,inthesheerjoyofliving,herrecenttribulation.

ButeventhepurestpleasuresWILLpall;andafteratime,whenthebloomhadwornoffandthenewnessandhermindwasmoreatleisureagain,shemadesomedisagreeablediscoverieswhichruffledhertranquillity.

ItwasPin,poor,fat,littlewell-meaningPin,whodidthemischief

Pinwasnotonlychangedinlooks;hercharacterhadchanged,too;andinsomarkedawaythatbeforeaweekwasoutthesisterswereatloggerheads.EachdaymadeitplainertoLaurathatPinwasdevelopingasturdyindependence;shehadceasedtolookuptoLauraasaprodigyofwisdom,andhadbeguntoholdopinionsofherown.Shewas,indeed,evendisposedtobecriticalofhersister;andcriticismfromthisquarter

wasmorethanLauracouldbrook:itwasjustasifaslaveusurpedhismaster'srights.Atfirstspeechlesswithsurprise,sheendedbylosinghertemper;themore,becausePinwaspronetobemulish,andcouldnotbegottobudge,eitherbyderisionorbyscorn,fromherespousedviews.Theywerethoseoftheschoolatwhichforthepasthalf-yearshehadbeenaday-pupil,andseemedtoherunassailable.Laurafoundthemridiculous,asshedidmuchelseaboutPinatthistime:herugliness,hersettingherselfupasanauthority:andshejeeredunkindlywheneverPincameoutwiththem.--Astillmoreludicrousthingwasthat,despiteherplainness,Pinactuallyhadanadmirer.True,shedidnotsayso



outright;perhapsshewasnotevenawareofit;butLauragatheredfromhertalkthataboyatherschool,aboysomethreeyearsolderthanherself,hadgivenherasilkhandkerchiefandlikedtohelpherwithhersums.--AndtoLaurathiswasthemostknockdownblowofall.

Onedayitcametoanopenquarrelbetweenthem.

Theywerelyingonthebeachafterbathing,tryingtoprotecttheirbareandblisteredlegsfromthesandflies.Laura,flatonherback,hadspreadatoweloverhers;PinsatTurk--fashionwithherlegsbeneathherandfoughttheflieswithherhands.HavingvainlyendeavouredtodrawfromthereticentLaurasomeofthoseschool-talesofwhich,informerholidays,shehadbeensoprodigal,Pinwasnowchatteringtoherheart'scontent,aboutthesmalldoingsofhome.Lauralistenedtoherwiththeimpatienttolerationofonewhohasseentheworld:shereallycouldnotbeexpectedtointerestherselfinsuchtrifles;andshelaughedinhersleeveatPin'ssimpleness.When,however,herlittlesisterbegantoenlargeanewonsomewonderfulordersMotherhadlatelyhad,shecouldnotrefrainfromsayingcrossly:"You'vetoldmethatadozentimesalready.Andyouneedn'tbawlitoutforeveryonetohear."

"Oh,Laura!thereisn'tanyoneanywherenearus...andeveniftherewere--why,Ithoughtyou'dbesopleased.Mother'sgoingtogiveyouan

extrashillingpocket-money,'causeofit."

"OfcourseI'mpleased.Don'tbesosilly,Pin."

"I'mnotALWAYSsilly,Laura,"protestedPin."AndIdon'tbelieveyouAREglad,abit.OldAnnewas,though.Shesaid:'Blessherdearheart!'"

"OldAnne?Well,Ijustwonderwhatnext!It'snoneofherdashedbusiness."

"Oh,Laura!"beganPin,growingtearfulbothatwordsandtone."Why,Laura,you'renotashamedofit,areyou?--thatmotherdoessewing?"--

andPinopenedherlobelia-blueeyestotheirwidest,showingwhatverybigeyestheywouldbe,weretheynotsooftenswollenwithcrying.

"Ofcoursenot,"saidLauratartly."ButI'mblessedifIcanseewhatit'sgottodowitholdAnne."

"Butsheaskedme...whatmotherwasworkingat--andifshe'dgotanynewcustomers.Shejustlovesmother."

"Likehercheek!"snappedLaura."Pokingheruglyoldnoseintowhatdoesn'tconcernher.Youshouldjusthavesaidyoudidn'tknow."

"Butthatwouldhavebeenastory,Laura!"criedPin,horrified"Ididknow--quitewell."

"Goodnessgracious,Pin,you----"

"I'venevertoldastoryinmylife,"saidPinhotly."AndI'mnotgoingtoeither,foryouoranyone.Ithinkyououghttobeashamedofyourself."

"Holdyoursillytongue!"



"Ishan't,Laura.AndIthinkyou'reverywicked.You'renotabitlikewhatyouusedtobe.Andit'sallgoingtoschoolthat'sdoneit--Mothersaysitis."

"Oh,don'tbesuchabloomingass!"andLaura,stungtothequick,retaliatedbytauntingPinwiththechangethathadcometopassinherappearance.Tohersurprise,shefoundPingrowninordinatelytouchyaboutherlooks:atLaura'sbrutalstatementofthetruthshecriedbitterly.

"I'mnot,no,I'mnot!Ihaven'tgotafullmoonforaface!It'snofatterthanyours.Sarahsaidlasttimeyouwerehomehowfatyouweregetting."

"I'msureI'mnot,"saidLaura,indignantinherturn.

"Yes,youare,"sobbedPin."Butyouonlythinkotherpeopleareugly,notyourselfI'lltellmotherwhatyou'vesaidassoonaseverIgethome.AndI'lltellher,too,youwanttomakemetellstories.AndthatI'msureyou'vedonesomethingnaughtyatschool,'causeyouwon'tevertalkaboutit.Andhowyou'realwayssayingbadwordslikebloomingandgoshandgolly--yes,Iwill!"

"Youwerealwaysasneakandatell-tale."

"Andyouwerealwaysagreedy,selfish,deceitfulthing."

"Youdon'tknowanythingaboutme,younumbskull,you!"

"Idon'twantto!Iknowyou'reabad,wickedgirl."

Afterthisexchangeofhometruths,theydidnotspeaktoeachotherfortwodays:Pinhadatemperthatsmouldered,andcouldnoteasilyforgive.SoshestayedatoldAnne'sside,helpingtobakesconesandleatherjackets;ortrottedaftertheboys,whohaddroppedintothewayofsaying:"Comeon,littlePin!"astheyneversaid:"Comeon,Laura!"

andLauraretiredinlonelydudgeontothebeach.

ShetooktheestrangementsomuchtoheartthatsheeasedherfeelingsbyabusingPininthought;Pinwasapig-headedlittleignoramus,astimidaseverofsettingonefootbeforetheother.Andtherestofthemwouldbejustthesame--oldstick-in-themuds,unchangedbyahair,or,iftheyHADchanged,thenchangedfortheworse.Laurahadsomehowneverforeseenthedayonwhichshewouldfindherselfoutoftunewithherhomecircle;withunthinkingassuranceshehadexpectedthatPin,forinstance,wouldalwaysbeeagertokeeppacewithher.Now,shesawthatherlittlesisterwouldprobablynevercatchuptoheragain.SuchprogressasPinmightmake--ifshewerenotalreadygluedfirmtohersillynotions--wouldbeinquiteanotherdirection.Forthequarrel

hadmadeonethingplaintoLaura:withregardtohertroubles,sheneednotlooktoPinforsympathy:ifPintalkedsuchgibberishatthehintofputtingoffaninquisitiveoldwoman,whatwouldshe--andnotshealone--whatwouldtheyallsaytothetissueofliesLaurahadspunroundMr.Shepherd,aholyman,aclergyman,andapersonalfriendofMother'sintothebargain?Shecouldnotblinkthefactthat,diditcometotheirears,theywouldcallherinearnest,whatPinhadcalledherinhertemper--badandwicked.Homewas,alas!nolongerthesnugnestinwhichshewassafefromtheslingsandshanghaisoftheworld.



Andthentherewasanotherthing:didshestayathome,shewouldhavetore-liveherselfintothethousandandonegimcrackconcerns,whichnow,assetforthbyPin,soboredher:thecolicLeppiehadbroughtonbyeatingunripefruit;thefactthatanotherofSarah'steethhaddroppedoutwithoutextraneousaid.Itwasallverywellforaweekortwo,but,attheideaofshuttingherselfwhollyupwithsuchmopokes,ofcuttingherselfofffromherpresentvitalinterests,Laurahastilyreconsideredherdecisiontoleaveschool.No:badlyasshehadsufferedathercompanions'hands,muchasshedreadedreturning,itwasatschoolshebelonged.Allherheartwasthere:inthedoingsofherequals,thethingsthatreallymattered--whowouldbepromoted,whoprefect,whoseseatchangedinthedining-hall.--Besides,couldonewhohadexperiencedtheironruleofMr.Strachey,orMrs.Gurley,everbecontenttogobackandjustformoneofafamilyofchildren?Shenot,atanyrate!

Thusshelay,alldaylong,herhandsclaspedunderherneck,asmallwhitespeckonthegreatwave-lappedbeach.Shewatchedthesurfbreak,watchedthewavescreepupandhidethereef,watchedthegullsvanishinthesun-saturatedblueoverhead.Sometimessherosetoherelbowtofollowashipjustinsidethehorizon;anditpleasedhertothinkthatthisgreatboatwassailingoff,withaloadofluckymortals,tosomeunknown,fairerworld,whileshe,apoorCinderella,hadtostopbehind--eventhoughsheknewitwasonlytheEnglishmailgoingontoSydney.

OfPinshepreferrednottothink;norcouldshedwellwithequanimityonherlatemisfortunesatschoolandthetrialsthatawaitedheronherreappearance;andsincesheHADtothinkofsomething,shefellintothehabitofmakingupmight-have-been,ofnarratingtoherselfhowthingswouldhavefallenouthadherfictionsbeenfact,herasceticherotheimpetuouslovershehadmadeofhim.--Inotherwords,lyingprostrateonthesand,Laurawentonwithherstory.

When,towardstheendofthethirdweek,sheandPinweresummonedtospendsomedayswithGodmother,shehadacquiredsuchagustoforthisoccupation,thatshepreferredtoshirkreality,andletPinpaythevisitalone.

XX.

WIESOLLTEEINSTROMNICHTENDLICHDENWEGZUMMEEREFINDEN!

NIETZSCHE

Sea,sunandairdidtheirhealingwork,asdidalsothelong,idledays

inthehomegarden;andLauradrankinhealthandvigourwitheverybreath.

Shehadneedofitallwhen,thegoldenholidaysover,shereturnedtoschool;forthehalf-yearthatbrokewas,inmanyways,themosttryingshehadyethadtoface.True,herdupes'firstvirulencehadwaned--theynolongerlashedheropenlywiththeirtongues--butthequiet,covertinsults,thatwerenowtherule,wereeverybitashardtobear;andbeforeaweekhadpassedLaurawastellingherselfthat,hadshebeenaChristianMartyr,shewouldhavepreferredtobetornasunder



withonejerk,ratherthansubmittothethumbkin.Notaneyebutlookedaskanceather;oneveryfacewaspaintedareminderofhermoralinferiority;andevennewcomersamongtheboarderssoonlearnt,withoutalwaysknowingwhathercrimehadbeen,thatLauraRambothamwas"notthething".

Thissystemofslightanddisparagementwassimilartowhatshehadhadtoendureinherfirstschoolterm;butitseffectuponherwasdifferent.Then,inherrawtimidity,shehadbowedherheadbeneathit;now,shecouldnotbesolamb-like.Inthought,sheneverceasedtolayhalftheblameofwhathadhappenedonhercompanions'shoulders;andshewasembitteredbytheirinjusticeinmakingheraloneresponsible,whenallshehaddonewastoyieldtotheircravingforromance.Shebecamearebel,wrappingherselfroundinthecloakofbitternesswhichtheoutcastsoffortunewear,feedingonherhateofthosewithinthepale.Verywellthen,shesaidtoherself:ifherfellowschosetoshutheroutlikethis,shewouldstopoutside,andneverseeeyetoeyewiththemagain.Anditgaveheranunholypleasuretomock,insecret,atalltheysetstoreby.

Heroutwardbehaviourformanyadaywas,nonetheless,thatofafootlicker;andbynosigndidsheindicatewhatshereallywas--averyunhappygirl.Likemostrebelsofhersex,sheardentlydesiredtore-enterthefoldoflawandorder;anditwastothisendsheworked,

although,whereversheapproachedit,theplaceseemedtobristlewithspears.Butshedidnotletherselfbedaunted;shepocketedinjuries,pretendednottohearthem,playedthespanieltopeopleshedespised;anditsoonbecameopentalk,thatnomatterwhatyousaidtoher,LauraRambothamwouldnottakeoffence.Youcouldalsorelyonhertodoadirtyjobforyou.--Ahorridlittletoadywastheverdict;especiallyofthosewhohadnoobjectiontobetoadiedto.

Tornthus,betweenmutinoussentimentsontheonehand,alongingforrestitutionontheother,Lauragrewverysly--aregularlittletactician.Inthesedays,shewasforeverconsideringwhatsheoughttodo,whattoleaveundone.Shelearnttoweighherwordsbeforeutteringthem,insteadofblurtingoutherthoughtsinthechildishfashionthat

hadexposedhertoridicule;shelearnt,too,atlast,tokeepherrealopinionstoherself,andtomakethosesheexpressedtallywithherhearers'.Andshewasquicktodiscoverthatthiswasashort-cuttowardsregainingherlostplace:toconcealwhatshetrulyfelt--particularlyifherfeelingsrancountertothoseofthemajority.For,thelongershewasatschool,themoreinsistentlythetruthwasdrivenhometoher,thatthemajorityisalwaysintheright.

Intheshiftingofclassesthattookplaceattheyear'send,sheleftthethreechiefwitnessesofherdisgrace--Tilly,Maria,Kate--behindher.Shewasagainamonganewsetofgirls.Butthislittlepieceofluckwasoutweighedbythefactthat,shortlyafterChristmas,herroomwaschangedfortheoneoccupiedbyM.P.,andM.P.'sbestfriend.

Sofar,LaurahadhardlydaredtolifthereyesinMaryPidwall'spresence.ForMaryknewnotonlythesumofherlies,butalsoheld--orsoLaurabelieved--thatshecameofathoroughlydegeneratefamily;thankstoUncleTom.Andtheearlyweeksspentatclosequarterswithherboreoutthesefears.ThelooksbothM.P.andherfriendbentonLaurasaidasplainlyaswords:ifweareforcedtotoleratethisobnoxiouslittleinsectaboutus,wecanatleastshowitjustwhatahorridlittlebeastitis.--M.P.inparticularwasadamant,unrelenting;Lauraquailedatthesoundofherstep.



Andyetshesoonfelt,rightlyenough,itwasjustinthewinningoverofthisstern,rigidnaturethatherhopeofsalvationlay.IfshecouldoncegetM.P.onherside,allmightyetbewellagain.

SoshebegantolaysiegetoMary'sgood-will--toMary,whotooknonebutthebarestnoticeofher,eveninthebedroomignoringherasifshedidnotexist,andgivingthenecessaryorders,forshewastheeldestofthethree,intonesofice.ButitneededagreatwarinessonLaura'spart.And,inthebeginning,shemadeamistake.Shewasatoadeaterhere,too,seekingtocurryfavourwithM.P.aswiththerest,byfawningonher,inawayforwhichshecouldafterwardshavehitherself.Foritdidnotanswer;M.P.hadonlyadoubledisdainforthecringer,knowingnothingherselfofthepitfallsthatlieinwaitforatemperamentlikeLaura's.Mary'sfriendshipwasextendedtononebutthosewhohadaloftymoralstandard;andtruthfulnessandhonestywerenaturallytheheadvirtuesonherlist.Laurawassharpenoughtoseethat,ifshewishedtogaingroundwithM.P.shemustmakearadicalchangeinhertactics.Itwasnotenough,whereMarywasinquestion,toplaytheecho.Didshe,Laura,stateanopinion,shemustsaywhatshemeant,aboveall,meanwhatshesaid,andstickmanfullytoit,insteadof,attheleasthint,beingreadytoflyovertoMary'spointofview:alwaysthough,ofcourse,withthedisquietingprovisointhebackgroundthatherownopinionsweresuchassheoughttohave,and

nothereticalleaningsthatshockedanddismayed.Inwhichcase,therewasnothingforitbuttogoonbeingmum.

Sheventured,moreover,littleunobtrusiveservices,towhichshethoughtneitherofthegirlscouldtakeexception;makingtheirbedsfortheminthemorning,andstayinguplastatnighttoputoutthelight.Andoncesheoverheardthefriend,whowascalledCupid,say:"Youknow,M.P.,she'snotsuchabadlittlestickafterall."--ButthenCupidwaseasy-going,andinclinedtobeoriginal.

Mayanswered:"She'snodoubtbeginningtoseeshecan'tlietoUS.Butshe'saverydouble-facedchild."

ItwasalsowithaneyetoM.P.'sapprovalthatLaurathrewherself,withrenewedzeal,uponherwork.Andinthoseclassesthatcalledonlyfortheexerciseofhermemory,shesoonsathigh.ThereasonwhyshecouldnotmountstillhigherwasthatM.P.occupiedthetopplace,andwasnottobemoved,evenhadLauradreamedofattemptingit.

Andatlength,afterthreemonthsofunremittingexertioninthecourseofwhich,becauseshehadlittlepeepsofwhatlookedlikesuccess,therebelinherwenttosleepagain--atlengthLaurahadherreward.OneSundaymorningM.P.askedhertobeherpartneronthewalktochurch.Thiswasasifagreatpoetshouldbendfromhisthronetotakeayoungerbrother-singerbythehand;and,inherheadlongfashion,Lauraallbutfellattheeldergirl'sfeet.Fromthisdayforwardshe

out-herodedHerod,inhereffortstomakeofherselfexactlywhatMarythoughtsheoughttobe.

Deepwithinher,nonetheless,therelurkedafeelingwhichsometimesmadeasiftoraiseitshead:afeelingthatshedidnotreallylikeM.P.,oradmireher,orrespecther;onewhich,haditcomequitetolife,wouldhavekickedagainstMary'sauthority,beencontemptuousofherunimaginativewayofseeingandsayingthings,onthealerttoreminditsownerthatHERway,too,hadarighttoexistence.Butiswasnotstrongenoughtomakeitselfheard,orratherLaurarefusedtohearit,



andturnedadeafearwheneverittriedtohintatitspresence.--ForMr.Worldly-Wisemanwashermodeljustnow.

WhereasCupid--therewassomethinginCupidthatwascongenialtoher.Aplaingirl,withirregularfeatures--howshehadcomebyhernicknamenooneknew--CupidwasthreeyearsolderthanLaura,andoneofthefewintheschoolwholovedreadingforitsownsake.Inamanner,shewascleverereventhanM.P.;butitwasnotaschool-bookyway,andhencewasnotthoughtmuchof.However,Laurafeltdrawntoheratonce--eventhoughCupidtreatedherasquitealittlegirl--andtheysometimesgotasfarastalkingofbookstheyhadread.Fromthiswhiffofher,LaurawassurethatCupidwouldhavehadmoreunderstandingthanM.P.forherwantofveracity;forCupidhadakindofadare-devilmindinahideboundcharacter,andwasoftenveryboldofspeech.

YetitwasnotCupid'sgoodopinionsheworkedfor,withmightandmain.

TherateofherupwardprogressinMary'sestimationcouldbegaugedbythefactthatthedaycamewhentheeldergirlspokeopenlytoherofhercrime.AtthefirstmercilesswordsLaurawincedhotly,bothatandforthetactlessnessofwhichMarywasguilty.But,thefirstshamefulstabover,shefeltthebetterofit;yes,itwasarelieftospeaktosomeoneofwhatshehadbornealoneforsolong.Tospeakofit,andeventoarguerounditalittle;for,likemostwrongdoers,Laurasoon

acquiredatastefordwellingonhermisdeed.AndMary,beingentirelywithouthumour,andalsounversedindealingwithcriminals,didnotdivinethatthiswasjustaformofself-indulgence.ItwasCupidwhosaid:"Lookhere,Infant,you'llbegettingcockyaboutwhatyoudid,ifyoudon'tlookout."

MarywouldnotallowthatasingleoneofLaura'sexcusesheldwater.

"That'sthesheerestnonsense.Youdon'tseemtorealisethatyoutriedtodefameanotherperson'smoralcharacter,"shesaid,intheassured,superiorwaythatsoimpressedLaura.--Andthisaspectofthecase,whichhadneveronceoccurredtoher,leftLauraopen-mouthed;andyetalittledoubtful:Mr.Shepherdwassurelytoofaraboveher,andtoo

safelyensconcedinholiness,tobeinjuredbyanythingshemightsay.Buttheideagaveherfoodforthought;andsheevententativelydevelopedherstoryalongtheseunfamiliarlines,justtoseehowitmighthaveturnedout.

Onenightastheywereundressingforbed,Maryspoke,withthesamefirelessdepreciation,ofthebehaviourofaclassmatewhichhadbeenbroughttohernoticethatday.Thisgirlwassaidtohavenefariously"copied"fromanother,inthecourseofawrittenexamination;and,asprefectofherclassMarywasboundtotracktheevildown."Ishallmakethembothshowmetheirpapersassoonastheygetthemback;andthen,ifIfindproofofwhat'sbeingsaid,Imusttackleher.JustasItackledyou,Laura."

Lauraflushed."Oh,M.P.,I'venever'copied'inmylife!"shecried.

"Probablynot.Butthosethingsallbelonginthesamebox:lying,and'copying',andstealing."

"YouneverWILLbelievemewhenIsayIdidn'tknowanythingaboutthathorridChinky.Ionlytoldafewcrams--thatwasquitedifferent."



"Ithinkit'smostunfortunate,Laura,thatyoupersistinclingingtothatidea."

HereM.P.wasobligedtopause;forshehadputalockofhairbetweenherteethwhileshedidsomethingtoaplaitattheback.Assoonasshecouldspeakagain,shewenton:"Youandyourfewcrams!Haveyoueverthought,pray,whatastateofthingsitwouldbe,ifweallwentabouttellingfalse-hoods,andsayingitdidn'tmatter,theyweremerelyafewlittlefibs?--Whatareyoulaughingat?"

"I'mnotlaughing.Imean...Ijustsmiled.Iwasonlythinkinghowfunnyitwouldbe--Sandy,andoldGurley,andJimChapman,allgoingroundmakingupthingsthathadneverhappened."

"You'veaqueernotionofwhat'sfunny.Haveyouutterlynorespectforthetruth?"

"Yes,ofcourseIhave.ButIsay"--Laura,whoalwaysslippedquicklyoutofherclothes,wassittinginhernightgownontheedgeofthebed,huggingherknees."Isay,M.P.,ifeverybodytoldstories,andeverybodykneweverybodyelsewastellingthem,thentruthwouldn'tbeanygoodanymoreatall,wouldit?Ifnobodyusedit?"

"Whatrubbishyoudotalk!"saidMaryserenely,assheshookher

toothbrushontoatowelandrubbeditdry.

"Asiftruthwereasoap!"remarkedCupidwhowasalreadyinbed,readingNANA,andtryingtosmokeacigaretteundertheblankets.

"Youcan'tdoawaywithtruth,child."

"Butwhynot?Whosaysso?Itisn'talaw."

"Don'ttrytobesosharp,Laura."

"Idon'tmeanto,M.P.--ButwhatIStruth,anyhow?"askedLaura.

"TheBibleistruth.CanyoudoawaywiththeBible,pray?"

"Ofcoursenot.ButM.P....TheBibleisn'tquitealltruth,youknow.Myfather----"hereshebrokeoffinsomeconfusion,rememberingUncleTom.

"Well,whatabouthim?Youdon'twanttosay,Ihope,thathedidn'tbelieveintheBible?"

Lauradrovebackthe:"Ofcoursenot!"thatwasallbutoverherlips."Well,notexactly,"shesaid,andgrewveryred."ButyouKNOW,M.P.,whalesdon'thavebigenoughthroatsevertohaveswallowedJonah."

"Littlegirlsshouldn'ttalkaboutwhattheydon'tunderstand.TheBibleisGod'sWord;andGodisTruth."

"You'reasillyinfant,"threwinCupid,coughingasshespoke."Truthhasgottobe--andhonesty,too.Ifitdidn'texist,therecouldn'tbeanystate,orlaws,oranysociallife.It'soneofthethingsthatmakesmendifferentfromanimals,andthepeoplewhobossusknowprettywellwhatthey'reabout,youbetwhentheypunishtheruffianswhodon'tpractiseit."



"Yes,nowTHATIsee,"agreedLauraeagerly."Thentruth'sausefulthing.--Oh,andthat'sprobablywhatitmeans,too,whenyousay:HonestyisthebestPolicy."

"Ineverheardsuchachild,"saidM.P.,shocked."Cupid,youreallyshouldn'tputsuchthingsintoherhead.--You'redown-rightimmoral,Laura."

"Oh,howCANyousaysuchahorridthing?"

"Well,yourideasaresimplydreadful.Yououghttotryyourhardesttoimprovethem."

"Ido,M.P.,reallyIdo."

"Youdon'tsucceed.Ithinktheremustbeascrewlooseinyousomewhere."

"Anyhow,Ivoteweadjournthismeeting,"saidCupid,recoveringfromafreshcoughandsplutter."OroldGurley'llbecomingintoputmeonamustardplaster.--Asforyou,Infant,ifyoutaketheadviceofachapwhohasseenlife,you'llkeepyourideastoyourself:they'retoocrudeforthiselegantworld."

"Rightyouare!"saidLauracheerfully.

Shewaswaitingbythegas-jettillM.P.hadfoldedherlastgarment,andsheshuffledherbarefeetoneovertheotherasshestood;foritwasacoldnight.Thelightout,shehoppedintobedinthedark.

XXI.

Butthetruesealwassetonherregenerationwhenshewasinvitedtojointheboarders'LiterarySociety;ofwhichCupidandMaryweretheleadingspirits.Thiscarriedherback,atonestroke,intotheswingofschoollife.Foreverybodywhowasanybodybelongedtothesociety.And,despiteherfriendshipwiththeheadofherclass,Laurastillknewwhatitwastogetthecoldshoulder.

Butthiswastosomeextentherownfault.Atthepresentstageofhercareershewasanextraordinarilypricklychild,andeventohertwosponsorsdidnotattimespresentaveryamiableoutside:likeahedgehog,shewaseverreadytoshootoutherspines.Withregard,thatis,toherveracity.Shehadbeensobadlygrazed,inherrecent

encounter,thatshewasnowconstantlyseeingdoubtwherenodoubtwas;andthiswakefulattitudeofsuspiciontowardsothersdidnotmakeforbrotherlylove.Theamenityofhermannerssuffered,too:thoughshekepttoheroriginalprogrammeofnotsayingallshethought,yetwhatshewasforcedtosaysheblurtedoutinsuchapreciseandbluntfashionthatitmadeadisagreeableimpression.Atthesametime,agrowingpedantryintrifleswarpedbothherimaginationandhersympathies:undertheaegisofM.P.,sherapidlylearnedtobethelatter'srivalinanadherencetobaldfact,andinhercontumelyforthosewhodepartedfromit.Indeed,beforetheyearspentinMary's



companywasout,Laurawaswellonthewaytowardsbecomingoneofthoseuncomfortablepeoplewho,concernedonlyfortheirownsalvation,firethetruthatyouoneveryoccasion,withoutregardforyourtenderplaces.--Sosheremainedbutscantlypopular.

Hence,heradmissiontotheLiterarySocietyauguredwell.

Herchiefqualificationsformembershipwerethatshecouldmakeverses,andwasalsoveryfondofreading.Atschool,however,thistastehadbeenquiescent;forbookswerefew.Still,shehadreadwhatevershecouldlayhandson,andforthepasthalf-yearormoreshehadfaredlikealittlepiginacloverfield.SinceChristmas,shewasoneofthefewpermittedtodomorningpracticeonthegrandpianoinMrs.Strachey'sdrawing-room--anhonour,itistrue,notovermuchvaluedbyitsrecipients,forMrs.Gurley'sbedroomlayjustabove,andthatladycouldswoopdownonwhoeverwasweakenoughtotakealittlerest.ButLaurasnappedherfingersatsuchaflimsyobjection;forthiswasthewonderfulroomroundthewallsofwhichlow,openbookshelvesran;andshewassoonboldenough,onentering,hastilytoselectabooktoreadwhilesheplayed,alwaysonthealerttopopitbehindhermusic,shouldanyonecomeintotheroom.

Formonths,shebrowsedunchecked.Asherchoicehadtobemadewithextremecelerity,andfromthoseshelvesnearestthepiano,itwasin

thenatureofthingsthatitwasnotinvariablyahappyone.Forsometimeshehadbutmoderateluck,andsampledqueerfoods.TothesemustbereckonedatranslationofFAUST,whichshereadthrough,totheendoftheFirstPartatleast,withakindofdrearywonderwhysuchadullthingshouldbecalledgreat.Forhernextrepast,shesoughthardanditwasinthecourseofthisrummagethatshehadthestrangestfindofall.Runningaskilledeyeoverthelengthofashelfcloseathand,shehitonaslim,bluevolume,thetitleofwhichatoncearrestedherattention.For,notwithstandingherfourteenyears,andherdabblingsinRichardsonandScott,Laura'slikingforarealchild'sbookwasasstrongasithadeverbeen;andADOLL'SHOUSEseemedtopromisegoodthings.Deftlyextractingthevolume,shestruckupherscalesandbegantoread.

Thiswasthedayonwhich,afterbreakfast,Mrs.Gurleypulverisedherwiththeremark:"Anew,and,Imustsay,extremelyinteresting,fashionofplayingscales,LauraRambotham!Tohold,thefortepedaldown,frombeginningtoend!"

Laurawasunconsciousofhavingsinnedinthisway.Butitmightquitewellbeso.Forshehadspentatopsy-turvy,thoughhighlyengrossinghour.Inplaceofthechildren'sstorysheanticipated,shehadfoundherself,onopeningthebook,confrontedbythequeereststuffshehadeverseeninprint.Fromtheopeningsentenceon.Tobeginwith,itwasaplay--andLaurahadneverhadamodernproseplayinherhandbefore--andthenitwasallabouttheoddest,yetthemostcommonplacepeople.

Itseemedtoheramazinglyunreal--howthesepeoplespokeandbehaved--shehadneverknownanyonelikethem;andyetagainsotrue,inthewayitdraggedineverydayhappenings,sopettyinitsrenderingofpettythings,thatitbewilderedandrepelledher:why,someonemightjustaswellwriteabookaboutMotherorSarah!Heryoung,romanticsoulroseinarmsagainstthis,itsfirstbluffcontactwithrealism,againstsuchadispiritingsobrietyofoutlook.Somethingwithinherwantedtocryoutinprotestassheread--forreadshedid,onthreesuccessivedays,withaninterestshecouldnotexplain.Andthatwasnotall.Itwasworsethatthepeopleinthisbook--theextraordinary



personwhowasmarried,andhadchildren,andyetatebiscuitsoutofabagandsaidshedidn't;themanwhocalledherhislarkandhissquirrel--asifanymaneverdidcallhiswifesuchnames!--allthesepeopleseemedeternallytobemeaningsomethingdifferentfromwhattheysaid;somethingthatwasforevereludingher.Itwasmostirritating.--Therewas,moreover,nomentionofadoll'shouseinthewholethreeacts.

Thestateofconfusionthisbookletleftherin,sheallayedwithalittleoldbrownleathervolumeofLongfellow.AndHYPERIONwassomuchmoretoherlikingthatsheevenventuredtoborrowitfromitsplaceontheshelf,inordertoreaditatherleisure,bravingthechancethatherloan,wereitdiscovered,mightbecountedagainstherasatheft.

Ithungtogether,nodoubt,withtheafter-effectsofherdipintoIbsenthat,onhersittingdowntowritetheworkthatwastoformherpassporttotheSociety,hermindshouldinclinetothemostromanticofromanticthemes.Notaltogether,though:Laura'staste,suchasitwas,forliteraturehad,likeallyoungpeople's,amightybiastowardsthosebookswhichturnedtheirbacksonreality:shesoughtnottruth,butthemiracle.However,thoughshehadthustakensides,therewasstillayawninggaptobebridgedbetweenherreadyacceptanceofthehonourableinvitation,andthecompositionofamasterpiece.Thankstoherwontedinabilitytoprojectherthoughtsbeyondthemoment,shehad

beensounthinkingofpossiblefailurethatCupidhadfounditnecessarytointerject:"Here,Isay,don'tblow!"Whereas,whenshecametowrite,shesatwithherpenpoisedoverthepaperfornearlyhalfanhour,withoutbringingforthaword.First,therewasthequestionofform:sheconsidered,thenabruptlydismissed,theideaofwritingverses:therhymeswithloveanddove,andheartandpart,whichcouldhavebeenmanaged,were,shefelt,toosillyandsentimentaltobelaidbeforeherquizzicalaudience.Next,whattowriteabout--asimpletheme,suchasafairy-tale,wasnotforamomenttobecontemplated.No,Laurahadalwaysflownherhawkhigh,andshewasnowbentonmakingasplutter.Itendedbybeingatoss-upbetweenaplayintheShakesperianmannerandanovelafterScott.Shedecidedonthenovel.ItshouldbearomanceofVenice,withabundantmurderandmysteryinit,andablack,

blackvillain,suchashersoulloved--nomacaroon-nibblersorromperswithchildrenforher!Andhavingthusattunedhermindtoscarletdeeds,shesettowork.Butshefoundittremendouslydifficulttopinherstorytopaper:shesawthingsclearlyenough,andcouldhaverelatedthembywordofmouth;butdidshetrytowritethemdowntheyrantomist;andthoughshetoiledquiteliterallyinthesweatofherbrow,yetwhentheeventfuldaycameshehadbutthreeniggardlypagestoshowforherpains.

AbouttwentygirlsformedtheSociety,whichassembledoneSaturdayeveninginanemptymusic-room.Allwerenot,ofcourse,equallyproductive:somehadbroughtitnofurtherthanariddle:anditwasjustthesedroneswho,knowingnothingofthepothercomposition

implied,criticisedmoststringentlytheeffortsoftherest.Severalmembershadprettyenoughtalents,Laura'stworoom-matesamongthenumber:onthenightLauramadeherdebut,theweightiestachievementwas,withoutdoubt,M.P.'sessayon"Magnanimity";andLaura'seyesgrewmoistasshelistenedtoitsstirringphrases.Nextbest--toherthinking,atleast--wasahumorousepisodebyCupid,whohadagiftthatthrewLauraintoafitofamaze;andthiswastheabilitytoexpandinfinitelylittleintoinfinitelymuch;torigoutatrifleinmanywords,sothatintheenditseemedeversomuchbiggerthanitreallywas--justasathriftymerchantboilshisoranges,toswellthemto



twicetheirsize.

Laurabeingtheyoungestmember,heraffaircamelastontheprogramme:shehadtositandlistentotheothers,hercheekshot,herhandsverycold.Presentlyallweredone,andthenCupid,whowaschairman,calledon"anewauthor,Rambotham,whoitishopedwillproveavaluableacquisitiontotheSociety,toreadushismaideneffort".

Laurarosetoherfeetand,tremblingwithnervousness,stutteredforthherprose.Thethreelittlepagesshotpastlikeaflash;shehadbarelystoodupbeforeshewasobligedtositdownagain,leavingherhearers,whohadonlyjustre-adoptedtheirlisteningattitudes,agapewithastonishment.Shecouldhaveendured,withphlegm,theridiculethismalheurearnedher:whatwashardertostomachwasthatherpaperheroicsmadeutterlynoimpression.Shesufferedallthehumiliationofaflabbyfiasco,and,tillbedtime,shrankoutofherfriends'way.

"Youwerewarnednottobetoococky,youknow,"Marysaidjudicially,onseeingherdowncastair.

"Ididn'tmeantobe,really.--Thenyoudon'tthinkwhatIwrotewasuptomuch,M.P.?"

"Mm,"saidtheeldergirl,inanon-committalway.

HereCupidchimedin."Lookhere,Infant,Iwanttoaskyousomething.HaveyoueverbeeninVenice?"

"No."

"Everseenagondola?"

"No."

"OrtheDoge'spalace?--orablack-cloakedassassin?--oramaskedlady?"

"YouknowIhaven't,"murmuredLaura,humbledtothedust.

"Andprobablyneverwill.Wellthen,whyonearthtrytowritewooden,second-handrubbishlikethat?"

"Second-hand?...ButCupid...thinkofScott!Hecouldn'thaveseenhalfhetoldabout?"

"Mygracious!"ejaculatedCupid,andsatdownandfannedherselfwithahairbrush."Youdon'timagineyou'reaScott,doyou?Here,holdme,M.P.,I'mgoingtofaint!"--andatLaura'squickandscarletdenial,sheadded:"Well,whytheunmentionablenotusetheeyestheLordhasgiven

you,andwriteaboutwhat'sbeforethemeverydayofyourlife?"

"Doyouthinkthatwouldbebetter?"

"Idon'tthink--Iknowitwould."

ButLaurawasnotsoeasilyconvincedasallthat.

Everatalentedimitator,shenexttriedherhandatanessayonanabstractsubject.Thiswasafailure:youcouldnotSEEthings,whenyou



wroteabout,say,"Beneficence";andLaura'sthinkingwasdonemainlyinpictures.MatterswerestillworsewhenshetinkeredatCupid'sespecialgenre:herworthlesslittleincidentstaredather,nakedandscraggy,fromthesheet;shehadnowealthofwordsatherdisposalinwhichtodeckitout.So,withasigh,sheturnedbacktotheadviceCupidhadgivenher,andpreparedtomakeafaithfultranscriptofactuality.Shecalledwhatshenowwrote:"ADayatSchool",andconscientiouslysetdowndetailondetail;sofearful,thistime,ofover-brevity,thatshespuntheaccountouttotwentypages;thoughthewritingofitwasasdistastefultoherasherreadingofADOLL'SHOUSEhadbeen.

AtthesubsequentmeetingoftheSociety,expressionofopinionwasnotlacking.

"Oh,Jehoshaphat!Howmuchmore?"

"Here,letmegetout.I'vehadenough."

"Isay,youforgottocounthowmanystepsittookyoutocomedownstairs."

Tillthechairmanhadpityontheembarrassedauthorandsaid:"Lookhere,Laura,Ithinkyou'dbetterkeeptherestforanothertime."

"Itwasjustwhatyoutoldmetodo,"LaurareproachedCupidthatnight:shewasonthebrinkoftears.

ButCupidwasdisinclinedtoshouldertheresponsibility."Toldyoutobeasdullandlong-windedasthat?Infant,it'sawhacker!"

"ButitwasTRUEwhatIwrote--everywordofit."

Neitherofthetwoeldergirlswaspreparedtodiscussthisvitalpoint.Cupidshiftedground."GoodLord,Laura,butit'shardtodriveathingintoYOURbrain-pan.--Youdon'tneedtobeALLtrueonpaper,sillychild!"

"LasttimeyousaidIhadto."

"Well,ifyouwantit,mycandidopinionisthatyouhaven'tanytalentforthiskindofthing.--Nowturnoffthegas."

Asthelightintheroomwentout,akindofinnerlightseemedtogoupinLaura;andboththenandonthefollowingdaysshethoughthard.Shewasveryambitious,anxioustoshine,notreadytoacceptdefeat;andtothenextliterarycontestshebroughtthedescriptionofanexcursiontothehillsandgulliesthatsurroundedWarrenega;intowhichshehadworkedanadventurewithsomevagrantblacks.SheandPinandtheboyshadoftenpicnickedonthesehills,withtheirlunchespackedinbillies;andshehadseenthecavesandrockyholeswhereblackfellows

weresaidtohavehiddenthemselvesinearlytimes;butneitherthisparticularexcursion,northeexcitingincidentwhichshedescribedwithalltheaplombofaneyewitness,hadevertakenplace.Thatistosay:notawordofhernarrationwastrue,buteverywordofitmighthavebeentrue.

Andwiththisshehadanunqualifiedsuccess.

"Ibelievethere'ssomethinginyouafterall,"saidCupidtoherthatnight."Anyhow,youknownowwhatitistobetrue,yetnotdulland



prosy."

AndLauramanfullychokedbackherdesiretocryoutthatnotawordofherstorywasfact.

Shewaslonginfallingasleep.Naturally,shewaselatedandexcitedbyhersuccess;butalsoanewandoddpieceofknowledgehadnicheditselfinherbrain.Itwasthis.Inyourspeech,yourtalkwithothers,youmustbeexacttothepointofpedantry,andneverromanceordrawthelong-bow;oryouwouldbebrandedasanabominableliar.Whereas,assoonasyouputpentopaper,providedyoukeptonefootplantedonprobability,youmightlieashardasyouliked:indeed,themorevigorouslyyoulied,thelouderwouldbeyourhearers'applause.

AndLaurafellasleepoverachuckle.

XXII.

UNDVERGESSTMIRAUCHDASGUTELACHENNICHT!

NIETZSCHE

Andthen,alas!justassherodehighonthiswaveofapprobation,Laurasufferedanotherofthosedropsintheesteemofherfellows,anotherofthosementalupsets,whichfromtimetotimehadthrownheryounglifeoutofgear.

True,whatnowcamewasnotexactlyherownfault;thoughitisdoubtfulwhetherasingleoneofhercompanionswouldhavemadeherfreeofanexcuse.Theylookedon,round-eyed,mouthsa-stretch.Oncemore,thelambkincalledLaurasawfittosunderitselffromtheflock,andtocut

madcapersinsightofthemall.Andtheirdelectationwasasfrankastheirformerwrathhadbeen.--AsforLaura,asusualshedidnotstoptothinktillitwastoolate;butdancedlightlyawaytoherownundoing.

Theaffairbeganpleasantlyenough.AmemberoftheLiterarySocietywasthegirlwiththetwinklybrowneyes--shewhohadgoneoutofherwaytogiveLauraakindlywordaftertheShepherddebacle.Thisgirl,EvelynSouttarbyname,wasalsotheonlyoneoftheaudiencewhohadnotjoinedinthelaughprovokedbyLaura'sfirstappearanceasanauthor.Laurahadneverforgottenthis;andshewouldsmileshylyatEvelynwhentheirlooksmet.Butadozenreasonsexistedwhythereshouldhavebeennofurtherrapportbetweenthem.Althoughnowinthe

fifthform,Laurahadremainedchildishforherage:whereasEvelynwasovereighteen,andonlyneededtoturnupherhairtobequitegrown-up.ShehadmatriculatedthepreviousChristmas,andwasatpresentputtingawayaratherdesultoryhalf-year,beforeleavingschoolforgood.Inaddition,shewasrich,pamperedandverypretty--thelastcomradeintheworldfordrablittleLaura.

Oneevening,asthelatterwaspassingthroughthedining-hall,shefoundEvelyn,whostudiedwhereshechose,disconsolatelyrunningherfingersthroughhergold-brownhair.



"Isay,Kiddy,"shecalledtoLaura."YouknowLatin,don'tyou?Justgiveusahandwiththis."--LatinhadnotbeenoneofEvelyn'ssubjects,andshewasnowemployingsomeofhersparetimeinstudyingthelanguagewithMr.Strachey,whotaughtitafterafashionofhisown."Howonearthwouldyousay:'Wehadnothoweverridheresolong,butshouldhavetidedituptheriver'?What'stheoldfoolmeanbythat?"andshepushedanopenvolumeofROBINSONCRUSOEtowardsLaura.

Laurahelpedtothebestofherability.

"Thanksawfully,"saidEvelyn."You'reacleverchickabiddy.Butyoumustletmehelpyouwithsomethinginreturn.What'shardest?"

"Fillingbathsandpaperingrooms,"repliedLauracandidly.

"Arithmetic,eh?Well,ifeveryouwantasumdone,cometome."

ButLaurawastemperamentallyunabletoacceptsovagueaninvitation;andherethematterclosed.

When,consequently,MissChapmansummonedheroneeveningtotellherthatshewastochangeherpresentbedroomforEvelyn's,thenewscameasagreatshocktoher.

"Changemyroom?"sheechoed,inslowdisgust."Oh,Ican't,MissChapman!"

"You'vegotto,Laura,ifMrs.Gurleysaysso,"expostulatedthekindlygoverness.

"ButIwon't!ThereMUSTbesomemistake.JustwhenI'msocomfortablysettled,too.--Verywell,then,MissChapman,I'llspeaktoMrs.Gurleymyself."

Shecarriedoutthisthreat,and,fordaringtoquestionorders,receivedthesoundestsnubbingshehadhadformanyalongday.

Thatnightshewasverybitteraboutitall,andthemoresobecauseMaryandCupiddidnot,toherthinking,showsufficientsympathy.

"Ibelieveyou'rebothgladI'mgoing.It'sabeastlyshame.WhymustIalwaysbeoddmanout?"

"Lookhere,Infant,don'tadoptthattone,please,"saidCupidmagisterially."Oryou'llmakeusgladinearnest.Peoplewhoarealwaysupinarmsaboutthingsarethegreatestboresintheworld."

SothefollowingafternoonLaurawrylytookuparmfulsofherbelongings,mountedastoreyhigher,anddepositedthemonthesecond

bedinEvelyn'sroom.

Theeldergirlhadhadthisroomtoherselfforoverayearnow,andLaurafeltsurewouldbechafinginwardlyatherintrusion.Fordaysshestolemousilyinandout,avoidingthehourswhenEvelynwasthere,gettingupearlierinthemorning,hurryingintobedatnightandfeelingverysoreindeedatthesufferanceonwhichshesupposedherselftobe.

ButonceEvelyncaughtherandsaid:"Don't,forgracious'sake,knock



eachtimeyouwanttocomein,child.Thisisyourroomnowaswellasmine."

Laurareddened,andblurtedoutsomethingaboutknowinghowshemusthatetohaveHERstuckinthere.

Evelynwrinkledupherforeheadandlaughed."Whatrot!DoyouthinkI'dhaveaskedtohaveyou,ifIhateditsomuch?"

"Youaskedtohaveme?"gaspedLaura.

"Ofcourse--didn'tyouknow?OldGurleysaidI'dneedtohavesomeone;soIchoseyou."

Laurawastoodumbfounded,andtoodiffident,toaskthegroundsofsuchachoice.Buttheknowledgethatitwasso,workedaninstantchangeinher.

Inallthethreeyearsshehadbeenatschool,shehadnotgotbeyondasurfacefriendlinesswithanyofherfellows.Eventhosewhohadbeenher"chums"hadwanderedlikeshadesthroughthegrovesofheraffection:rough,teasingBertha;pretty,lazyInez;perkyTilly,slangilyfrankMariaandKate,Maryandhermoralinfluence,clever,instructiveCupid:tononeofthemhadshebeendrawnbyanydeeper

senseofaffinity.Andthoughshehadcometobelieve,inthecourseofthelast,morepeacefulyear,thatshehadgrownusedtobeingwhatyouwouldcallanunpopulargirl--one,thatis,withwhomnooneeversharedaconfidence--yetseldomwasthereachildwholongedmoreardentlytobeliked,orsufferedmoreacutelyunderdislike.Aparthoweverfromthebrusquemannershehadcontracted,inhersearchaftertruth,itmustbeadmittedthatLaurahadbutasmalltalentforfriendship;shedidnotgrasptheconstantgive-and-takeintimacyimplies;thelikingofothershadtobebroughttoher,unsought,she,ontheotherhand,beingfreetostandbackandconsiderwhetherornothefeelingwasworthreturning.Andfriendsarenotmadeinthisfashion.

ButEvelynhadstoutly,andwithoutwaitingforpermission,crossedthebarrier;andeachnewincidentinherapproachwaspleasanterthanthelast.Laurawaspleased,andflattered,androundtheplacewhereherheartwas,shefeltawarmandcomfortableglow.

Shebegantoreturntheliking,withinterest,afterthemannerofalonely,bottled-upchild.AndeverythingaboutEvelynmadeiteasytogrowfondofher.Tobeginwith,Lauralovedprettythingsandprettypeople;andhernewfriendwasoutandawaytheprettiestgirlintheschool.Then,too,shewasclever,andthatcounted;youdidnotmakeafriendofafool.Butherchiefcharacteristicswereacertainsoundcommonsense,andaninexhaustiblefundofgood-nature--acareless,happy,laughingsunniness,thatwasasgratefultothosewhocameinto

touchwithitasarareointmentisgratefultotheskin.Thiskindlinessarose,itmightbe,inthefirstplacefromindolence:itwaslesstroubletobemerryandamiablethantoputoneselfouttobeselfish,whichalsomeantstandingafireofdisagreeablewordsandlooks;andthen,too,itwasreallyhardforonewhohadneverhadawhimcrossedtobeoutofhumour.But,whateveritsorigin,thegood-naturewasthere,everlastingly;andLaurasoonlearntthatshecouldcuddleinunderit,andbescreenedbyit,asalambisscreenedbyitsmother'swoollycoat.



Evelynwastheonlypersonwhodidnoteitherhectorher,orfeelitadutytoclipandpruneather:sheacceptedLauraforwhatshewas--forherself.Indeed,sheevenseemedtolayweightonLaura'sbitsofopinions,whichthegirlhadgrownsocharyofoffering;and,underthesunshineofthistreatment,Laurashotupandfloweredlikeaspringbulb.Shebegantospeakoutherthoughtsagain;sheunbosomedherselfofdarklittlesecrets;andfinallydidwhatshewouldneverhavebelievedpossible:sittingonenightinhernightgown,ontheedgeofEvelyn'sbed,shemadeafullconfessionofthepickleshehadgotherselfinto,overhervisittotheShepherds.

Toherastonishment,Evelyn,whowasalreadyinbed,laughedtillthetearsrandownhercheeks.AtLaura'ssolemn-facedincredulityshesaid:

"Isay,Kiddy,butthatWASrich.Tothinkachickenofyoursizesoldthemlikethat.It'sthebestjokeI'veheardforanage.Tellusagain--fromthebeginning."

NothingloathLaurastartedinafresh,andinthis,thesecondtelling,embroideredtheedgeofhertalewithafewfancystitches,inawayshehadnotventuredonformonthspast;sothatEvelynwasmoretickledthanbefore.

"Nowondertheyweremadaboutbeinghadlikethat.Youlittlerascal!"

ShewasequallyamusedbyLaura'sdescriptionofthemiserableweekshehadspent,tryingtomakeuphermindtoconfess.

"Youridiculoussprat!Whydidn'tyoucometome?We'dhaveletthemdownwithagoodoldbump."

ButLauracouldnotsoeasilyforgetthehumiliationsshehadbeenforcedtosuffer,anddelicatelyhintedtoherfriendatM.P.'smoralstrictures.Withherrefreshinglaugh,Evelynbrushedtheseasideaswell.

"Tommyrot!Nevermindthatoldjumble-saleofallthevirtues.Itwas

jollycleverofamitelikeyoutobamboozlethemasyoudid--takemywordforthat."

Thisjocosewayoftreatingthematterseemedtoputitinanentirelynewlight;Lauracouldevensmileatitherself.Inthedaysthatfollowed,shelearned,indeed,tolaughoveritwithEvelyn,andtosharethelatter'sviewthatshehadbeensuperiorinwittothoseshehadbefooled.Thismeantagreatandhealthygaininself-assuranceforLaura.Italsoledtoherlayingmoreandmoreweightonwhatherfriendsaid.ForitwasnotasifEvelynhadalowmoralstandard;farfromthat:shewashonestandstraightforward,tooproud,or,itmightbe,toolazytotellalieherself--withallthecomplicationslyinginvolved--andLauraneverheardhersayaharderthingofanyonethan

whatshehadjustsaidaboutMaryPidwall.

Thetwotalkedlateintoeverynightafterthis,Lauraperched,monkey-fashion,onthesideofherfriend'sbed.Evelynhadalltheaccumulatedwisdomofeighteen,andwasabletoclearheryoungcompanionuponmanypointsaboutwhichLaurahadsofarbeeninthedark.Butwhen,intime,shecametorelatethemortificationsshehadsuffered--andwasstillcalledontosuffer--atthehandsoftheothersex,Evelynpooh-poohedthesubject.



"Timeenoughinacoupleofyearsforthat.Don'tbotheryourheadaboutitinthemeantime."

"Idon'tnow--notabit.Ionlywantedtoknowwhy.Sometimes,Evvy,doyouknow,theylikedtotalktoquitelittlekidsofsevenandeightbetterthanme."

"Perhapsyoutalkedtoomuchyourself--andaboutyourself?"

"Idon'tthinkIdid.Andifyoudon'ttalksomething,theyyawnandgoaway."

"You'vegottoletthemdothelion'sshare,child.Justyousitstill,andlisten,andpretendyoulikeit--eventhoughyou'reboredtoextinction."

"Andtheyneverneedtopretendanything,Isuppose?No,Ithinkthey'rehorrid.Youdon'tlikethemeither,Evvy,doyou?...anymorethanIdo?"

Evelynlaughed.

"Saywhatyouthinktheyare,"persistedLauraandwaggledtheother'sarm,tomakeherspeak.

"Mostlyfools,"saidEvelyn,andlaughedagain--laughedinalltheconsciouspoweroflovelyeighteen.

Overjoyedatthisonenessofmind,Laurathrewherarmsroundherfriend'sneckandkissedher."Youdear!"shesaid.

Andyet,ashorttimeafterwards,itwasonthisveryheadthatshehadtobeartheshockofarudeawakening.

Evelyn'speoplecametoMelbournethatyearfromtheRiverina.Evelynwasallowedconsiderablefreedom,andonenight,byspecialpermit,Lauraalsoacceptedaninvitationtodinnerandthetheatre.The

twogirlsdrovetoahotel,wheretheyfoundEvelyn'smother,elegantbutalittlestern,andayounglady-friend.Onlythefourofthemwerepresentatdinner,andthemealpassedoffsmoothly;thoughthestrangenessofdininginabighotelhadtheeffectoftyingLaura'stongue.Anotherthingthatabashedherwasthedressoftheyounglady,whosatopposite.Thisperson--shemusthavebeenabouttheripeageoftwenty-five--wasnippedintoatightlittlepinksatinbodice,which,attheback,exposedthewholeoftwoverybonyshoulder-blades.ButitwasthefrontofthedressthatLaurafaced;and,havingimbibedstrictviewsofproprietyfromMother,shewriggledonherchairwheneversheraisedhereyes.

Theydrovetothetheatre--thoughitwasonlyafewdoorsoff.The

seatswereinthedresscircle.Theladiessatinthefrontrow,thegirls,whowereinhighfrocks,behind.

Evelynmadeafaceoflaughingdiscontent."It'ssoridiculousthematerwon'tletmedress."

ThesewordsgaveLauraakindofstab."OhEvvy,Ithinkyou'reEVERsomuchnicerasyouare,"shewhispered,andsqueezedherfriend'shand.

Evelyncouldnotanswer,fortheladyinpinkhadleantbackandtapped



herwithherfan."Itdoesn'tlookasifJimwerecoming,mydear."

Evelynlaughed,inapeculiarway."Oh,Iguesshe'llturnupallright."

Therehadbeensomequestionofapersonofthisnameatdinner;butLaurahadpaidnogreatheedtowhatwassaid.Now,shesatupsharply,forEvelynexclaimed:"Thereheis!"

Itwasaman,arealman--notaboy--withadrooping,fairmoustache,asingleeyeglassinoneeye,andacamellia-budinhisbuttonhole.ForthespaceofabreathlesssecondLauraconnectedhimwiththepinksatin;thenhedroppedintoavacantseatatEvelyn'sside.

Fromthismomenton,Laura'spleasureinherexpensiveseat,intheprettybluetheatreanditsmovableroof,inthegaytrickeriesoftheMIKADO,slowlyfizzledout.Evelynhadnomorethoughtforher.Nowandthen,itistrue,shewouldturninheraffectionatewayandaskLauraifshewereallrightjustasonesatisfiesoneselfthatalittlechildishappy--butherrealattentionwasforthemanatherside.Intheintervals,thetwokeptupaperpetualbuzzofchat,brokenonlybyEvelyn'slowlaughs.Laurasatneglected,satstiffandcoldwithdisappointment,agreatbitternesswellingupwithinher.Beforetheperformancehaddraggedtoanend,shewouldhavelikedtoputherheaddownandcry.

"Tired?"queriedEvelynnoticingherpinchedlook,astheydrovehomeinthewagonette.Butthemotherwasthere,too,soLaurasaidno.

Directly,however,thebedroomdoorshutbehindthem,shefellintoatantrum,afitofsullenrage,whichsheaccentuatedtillEvelyncouldnotbutnoticeit.

"What'sthematterwithyou?Didn'tyouenjoyyourself?"

"No,Ihatedit,"returnedLaurapassionately.

Evelynlaughedalittleatthis,butwithanairofhumorous

dismay."Imusttakecare,then,nottoaskyououtagain."

"Iwouldn'tgo.Notforanything!"

"Whatonearth'sthematterwithyou?"

"Nothing'sthematter."

"Well,ifthat'sall,makehasteandgetintobed.You'reovertired."

"Gotobedyourself!"

"Iam,asfastasIcan.Icanhardlykeepmyeyesopen;"andEvelyn

yawnedheartily.

WhenLaurasawthatshemeantit,sheburstout:"You'renothingbutastory-teller--that'swhatyouare!Yousaidyoudidn'tlikethem...thattheyweremostlyfools...andthen...then,togoonasyoudidto-night."Hervoicewasshakywithtears.

"Oh,that'sit,isit?Comenow,gettobed.We'lltalkaboutitinthemorning."



"Ineverwanttospeaktoyouagain."

"You'reasillychild.ButI'mreallytoosleepytoquarrelwithyouto-night."

"Ihateyou--hateyou!"

"Ishallsurviveit."

Sheturnedoutthelightasshespoke,settledherselfonherpillow,andcomposedlywenttosleep.

Laura'srageredoubled.Throwingherselfonthefloorsheburstintoangrytears,andcriedasloudlyasshedared,inthehopeofkeepinghercompanionawake.ButEvelynwasamagnificentsleeper;andremainedundisturbed.SoafteratimeLaurarose,drewuptheblind,openedthewindowandsatdownonthesill.

Itwasabitterlycoldnight,ofmilky-whitemoonlight;eachbushandshrubcarveditsjet-blackshadowonpathsandgrass.AcrossEvelyn'sbedfellagreatpatchoflight:this,orthechillairwould,itwastobetrusted,wakeher.MeanwhileLaurasatinherthinnightgownandshivered,feelingthecoldintenselyafterthegreatheatoftheday.Shehopedwithallherheartthatshewouldbeluckyenough

togetaninflammationofthelungs.Then,Evelynwouldbesorryshehadbeensocrueltoher.

Itwasnearlytwoo'clock,andshehadseveraltimesfoundherselfnodding,whenthesleepersuddenlyopenedhereyesandsatboltuprightinbed.

"Laura,goodheavens,whatareyoudoingatthewindow?Oh,youwickedchild,you'llcatchyourdeathofcold!Getintobedatonce."

And,theculpritstillmaintaininganimmovablesilence,Evelyndraggedhertobedbymainforce,andtuckedherinastightlyasamummy.

XXIII.

GUTUNDBOSEUNDLUSTUNDLEIDUNDICHUNDDU.

NIETZSCHE

"Laura,you'reacipher!"

"I'mnothingofthesort!"threwbackLauraindignantly."You'reoneyourself.--Whatdoesshemean,Evvy?"sheaskedgettingoutofearshotofthespeaker.

"Goodnessknows.Don'tmindher,Poppet."

Itwasanoppressiveevening:alldaylongahotnorthwindhadscouredthestreets,veilingthingsandpeopleincloudsofgrittydust;theskywasstillliketheprolongedreflectionofagreatfire.Thehoped-for



changehadnotcome,andthegirlswhostrolledthepathsofthegardenwerewhiteandlistless.Theywalkedincouples,withinterlacedarms;andmembersoftheMatriculationClasscarriedbookswiththem,thepresentyearbeingoneofmuchstrugglingandheartburning,andfewleisuredmoments.MaryPidwallandCupidweretogetherunderanacaciatreeatthegateofthetennis-court;anditwasM.P.whohadcasttheabovegibeatLaura.AtleastLauratookitasagibe,andscowleddarkly;forshecouldnevergrowhardenedtoridicule.

AssheandEvelynre-passedthisspotintheirperambulation,amerrylittlelumpofagirlcalledLolo,whodartedherheadfromsidetosidewhenshespoke,withthemovementsofawatchfulbird--this[P.241]Lolocalled:"Evelyn,comehere,Iwanttotellyousomething."

"Yes,whatisit?"askedEvelyn,butwithoutobeyingthesummons;forshefeltLaura'sgripofherarmtighten.

"It'sasecret.Youmustcomeoverhere."

"Holdonaminute,Poppet,"saidEvelynpersuasively,andcrossedthelawnwithhercharacteristicallylazysaunter.Minuteswentby;shedidnotreturn.

"LookatherLaura-ship!"saidasauceboxtoherpartner.Thelatter

made"Hee-haw,hee-haw!"andbothlaughedderisively.

Theobjectoftheirscornstoodatthefartherendofthewire-netfence:allfivefingersofherrighthandwerethrustthroughtheholesofthenetting,andheldoddlyandunconsciouslyoutspread;shestoodononeleg,andwithherotherfootrubbedupanddownbehindherankle;mouthandbrowweresullen,herblackeyesbentwrathfullyonherfaithlessfriend.

"Aregularmoon-calf!"saidCupid,lookingupfromTHETEMPEST,whichwasbalancedbreast-highonthenarrowwoodentopofthefence.

"Markmywords,thatchild'llbepluckedinher'tests',"observedM.P.

"Serveherright,sayI,forplayingthebilly-ass,"returnedCupid,andkilledagiantmosquitowithsuchawhackthatherwristwasstainedwithitsblood."Ugh,youbrute!...gorgingyourselfonme.ButI'mdashedifIknowhowEvelyncanbebotheredtohaveheralwaysdanglinground."

"She'sacipher,"repeatedMary,insojudicialatonethatitclosedtheconversation.

Laura,notaltogetherblindtoexternals,sawthathercompanionsmadefunofher.Butatthepresentpass,thestrengthofherfeelingsquiteout-ranhercapacityforself-control;shewasunableto

disguisewhatshefelt,andthoughitmadeherthelaughing-stockoftheschool.WhatschemewasthebirdlikeLolohatchingagainsther?WhydidEvelynnotcomeback?--thesewerethethoughtsthatbuzzedroundinsideherhead,asthemosquitoesbuzzedoutside.--Andmeanwhilethefamiliar,foolishnoisesofthegardenateveningknockedatherear.Ontheothersideofthehedgeabatchofthird-formgirlswerewhispering,withchokedlaughter,adoggerelrhymewhichwashardtosay,andwhichmeantsomethingquitedifferentdidthetonguetripoveracertainletter.Oftwogirlswhowereplayingtennisinhalf-heartedfashion,theonenextLaurasaid'Oh,damn!'everytimeshemissedaball.And



overtheparched,dustygrassthehotwindblew,carryingwithit,fromthekitchens,asmellofcabbage,offriedonions,ofgreasydish-water.

ThenEvelynreturned,andapart,apartonlyofthecloudliftedfromLaura'sbrow.

"Whatdidshewant?"

"Oh,nothingmuch."

"Thenyou'renotgoingtotellme?"

Ican't.

"Whatbusinesshasshetohavesecretswithyou?"saidLaurafuriously.Andforafullroundofthegardenshedidnotopenherlips.

Hercompanionswerenotaloneineyeingthislopsidedfriendshipwithanamusedcuriosity.Thegovernessesalsosmiledatit,andweresurprisedatEvelyn'senduranceofthetyrannyintowhichLaura'slikinghaddegenerated.Onthisparticularevening,twowhoweresittingontheverandah-benchcamebacktothesubject.

"JustlookatthatLauraRambothamagain,willyou?"saidMissSnodgrass

inhertartway."Sulkingforallshe'sworth.Whatalittlefoolsheis!"

"I'msureIwonderMrs.Gurleyhasn'tnoticedhowbadlyshe'sworkingjustnow,"saidMissChapman;andherfaceworeitbest-meaning,butmostuncertainsmile.

"Oh,youknowverywellifMrs.Gurleydoesn'twanttoseeathingshedoesn't,"retortedMissSnodgrass."Aregulartalentforgoingblind,Icallit--especiallywhereEvelynSouttar'sconcerned."

"Oh,Idon'tthinkyoushouldtalklikethat,"urgedMissChapmannervously.

"IsaywhatIthink,"assertedMissSnodgrass."AndifIhadmyway,I'dgiveLauraRambothamsomethingshewouldn'tforget.Thatchild'llcometoabadendyet.--Howdoyoulikethatcolour,MissC.?"Shehadanestofcloth-patternsinherlap,andheldoneupasshespoke.

"Oh,youshouldn'tsaysuchthings,"remonstratedMissChapman."There'smanyatruewordsaidinjest."Shesettledherglassesonhernose."It'sverynice,butIthinkIlikeabottle-greenbetter."

"Ofcourse,Idon'tmeanshe'llendonthegallows,ifthat'swhattroublesyou.Butshe'sfrightfullyunbalanced,and,tomymind,oughttohavesomesenseknockedintoherbeforeit'stoolate.--That'sa

bettershade,isn'tit?"

"PoorlittleLaura,"saidMissChapman,anddrewasigh."Yes,Ilikethat.Wheredidyousayyouweregoingtohavethedressmade?"

MissSnodgrassnamed,notwithoutpride,oneofthefirstwarehousesinthecity."I'vebeensavingupmyscrewforit,andImeantohavesomethingdecentthistime.Besides,Iknowoneofthemenintheshop,andI'mgoingtomakethemdoitcheap."Andheretheyfelltodiscussingpriceandcut.



Thustheonlookerslaughedandquizzedandwondered;noonewasboldenoughtoputanopenquestiontoEvelyn,andEvelyndidnotoffertotakeanyoneintoherconfidence.Sheheldevenhintsandallusionsatbay,withherhoneyedlaugh;whichwasHERshieldagainsttheworld.Laurawastheonlypersonwhoevergotbehindthislaugh,andwhatshediscoveredthere,shedidnottell.Asitwas,varyingmotivesweresuggestedforEvelyn'slong-suffering,nobodybeingreadytobelievethatitcouldreallybefondness,onherpart,fortheByronicatomofhumanityshehadattractedtoher.

Howeverthatmightbe,thetwogirls,thebigfaironeandthelittledarkone,were,outsideclass-hours,seldomapart.Evelyndidnotoften,asinthecaseofthebirdlikeLolo,giveheryoungtyrantcauseforoffence;ifshesometimessoughtanother'scompany,itwasdoneinaroguishspirit--fromafemininedesiretotease.Perhaps,too,shewasatheartnotaversetoLaura'stantrums,ortotestingherownpowerinquellingthem.Onthewhole,though,shewasverycarefulofherlittlefriend'ssensitivespots.ShedidnotrepeattheexperimentoftakingLauraoutwithher;asherstayatschooldrewtoacloseshewentoutlessfrequentlyherself;forthereasonthat,nomatterhowlateitwasonhergettingback,shewouldfindLauraobstinatelysittingupinbed,wide-awake.Anditwentagainstthegraininhertokeepthepale-facedgirlfromsleep.

Onsuchoccasions,whilesheundidherprettymuslindress,unpinnedtheflowersshewasneverwithout,andloosenedhergold-brownhair,whichshehadputupfortheevening:whilesheundressed,Evelynhadtosubmittoarigorouscross-examination.Laurademandedtoknowwhereshehadbeen,whatshehaddone,whomshehadspokento;andwoetoherifshetriedtoshirkaquestion.Laurawasnotonlyjealous,shewasextraordinarilysuspicious;andtheeldergirlhadneedofallherlaughingkindnesstosteerherwaythroughtheshallowsofdistrust.ForagreatdoubtofEvelyn'ssincerityhadimplanteditselfinLaura'smind:shecouldnotforgettheincidentofthe"mostlyfools";and,afteraneveningofthiskind,sheneverfeltquitesurethatEvelynwasnotdeceivingherafreshoutofsheergoodnessofheart,ofcourse--by

assuringherthatshehadhada"horridtime",beenboredtodeath,andwouldhavemuchpreferredtostaywithher;whenthetruthwasthat,inthecompanyofsomemoustachedidiotorother,shehadenjoyedherselftothetopofherbent.

OnthenightLauralearnedthatherfriendhadagainmettheloathly"Jim",therewasagreatto-do.InvainEvelynlaughed,reasoned,expostulated.Laurawasinconsolable.

"Lookhere,Poppet,"saidEvelynatlast,andwassomuchinearnestthatshelaidherhairbrushdown,andtookLaurabybothherbonylittleshoulders."Lookhere,yousurelydon'texpectmetobeanoldmaid,doyou?--ME?"Thepronounsignifiedallshemightnotsay:it

meantwealth,youth,beauty,andanunboundedcapacityforpleasure.

"Evvy,you'renotgoingtoMARRYthathorridman?"

"Ofcoursenot,goosey.Butthatdoesn'tmeanthatI'mnevergoingtomarryatall,doesit?"

Laurasupposednot--withatremendoussniff.

"Well,then,whatISallthefussabout?"



Itwasnotsoeasytosay.Shewasofcoursereconciled,shesobbed,toEvelynmarryingsomeday:onlyplainandstupidgirlswerelefttobeoldmaids:butitmustnothappenforyearsandyearsandyearstocome,andwhenitdid,itmustbetosomeonemucholderthanherself,someoneshedidnotgreatlycarefor:inshort,Evelynwastomarryonlytoescapetheodiumofthesinglelife.

HavingdrawnthissketchofherfuturewordbywordfromtheweepingLaura,Evelynfellintoafitoflaughterwhichshecouldnotstifle."Well,Poppet,"shesaidwhenshecouldspeak,"ifthat'syourideaofhappinessforme,we'llpostponeitjustaslongaseverwecan.I'mallthere.ForImeantohaveagoodtimefirst--ajollygoodtime--beforeItiemyselfupforever,worldwithoutend,amen."

"That'sjustwhatIhateso--yourgoodtime,asyoucallit,"retortedLaura,smartingunderthelaughter.

"Everyonedoes,child.You'llbeafterityourselfwhenyou'realittleolder."

"Me?--never!"

"Oh,yes,indeedyouwill."

"Iwon't.IhatemenandIalwaysshall.Andoh,Ithought"--withanupward,sobbingbreath--"Ithoughtyoulikedmebest."

"OfcourseIlikeyou,yousillychild!Butthat'saltogetherdifferent.AndIdon'tlikeyouanylessbecauseIenjoyhavingsomefunwiththem,too."

"Idon'twantyouroldleavings!"saidLaurasavagely.Ithurt,almostasmuchashavingatoothpulledout,didthisknowledgethatyourfriend'saffectionwaswhollyyoursonlyaslongasnomanwasinquestion.Andoutofthesting,Lauraadded:"WaittillI'mgrownup,andI'llshowthemwhatIthinkofthem--thepigs!"

ThistimeEvelynhadtoholdherhandinfrontofhermouth."No,no,Idon'tmeantolaughatyou.Come,begoodnow,"shepetted."Andyoureallymustgotobed,Laura.It'spasttwelveo'clock,andthatinfernalmachine'llbegoingoffbeforeyou'vehadanysleepatall."

The"machine"wasLaura'salarum,whichrandowneverynightjustnowattwoo'clock.For,ifonethingwassure,itwasthataffairswithLaurawereinasorrymuddle.Inthis,thelastandmostmomentousyearofherschoollife,atthecloseofwhich,likeasteepwalltobescaled,rosetheuniversityexamination,shewasbehindhandwithherwork,andoccupiedamediocreplaceinherclass.SosteadfastlywasherattentionpitchedonEvelynthatshecouldlinkittonothingelse:inthemiddle

ofanimportanttask,herthoughtswouldstraytocontemplateherfriendorwonderwhatshewasdoing;while,ifEvelynwereoutfortheevening,Lauragaveuphermeagrepretenceofstudyaltogether,andmoodilyproppedherheadinherhand.Thiswaswhyshehadhitonthesmallhoursforthenecessarycramming;then,therewerenodistractions:thegreathousewasasstillasanemptychurch;andEvelynlaysafeandsoundbeforeher.So,punctuallyattwoo'clockLaurawasstartled,withapoundingheart,outofherfirstsleep;andlightingthegasshesatupinbedandporedoverherbooks.Evelynwasnotdisturbedbythelight,oratleastshedidnotcomplain;anditwas



certainlyafamoustimeforcommittingthingstomemory:thesubsequenthoursofsleepseemedrathertoetchthefactsintoyourbrainthantoblurthem.

YoucannothoweverrobPetertopayPaul,withimpunity,andintheweeksthatfollowed,despitehernightlyindustry,Lauramadenoheadway.

Asthetermtaperedtoanend,thingswentfrombadtoworsewithher;andsince,besides,thepartingwithEvelynwasatthedoor,shewasoftentobeseenwithred-rimmedeyelids,whichshedidnoteventrytoconceal.

"Asifshe'dlosthernearestrelation!"laughedherschool-fellows.Anddidtheymeetherprivately,onthestairsorinahouse-corridor,theycrossedtheirhandsontheirbreastsandturneduptheireyes,intragedy-fashion.

Laurahardlysawthem;foronceinherliferidiculecouldnothaveher.Thenearerthetimedrew,themorecompletelydidthecominglossofEvelynpushotherconsiderationsintothebackground.Itwasbittertoreflectthatherpresentdearfriendshiphadnomorestrengthtoendurethanthethinpretencesoffriendshipshehadhithertoplayedat.Evelynandshewould,nodoubt,fromtimetotimemeetandtake

pleasureineachotheragain;buttheirhomeslayhundredsofmilesapart;andtheintimacyoftheschooldayswaspassingaway,nevertoreturn.Andnoonecouldbeheldtoblameforthis.Evelyn'smotherandfatherthought,rightlyenough,thatitwastimefortheirdaughtertoleaveschool--butthatwasall.Theydidnotreallymissher,orneedher.No,itwasjustastupid,crushingpieceofill-luck,whichhappenedonedidnotknowwhy.ThereadyrebelinLaurasprangintobeingagain;andshefoughthardagainstthelessonthatthereareeventsinlife--bitter,grim,andgrotesqueevents--beneathwhichonecanonlybowone'shead.--Afurthereffectoftheapproachingseparationwastobringhometoherasenseofthefleetingnessofthings;shebegantograspthat,everywhereandalways,evenwhileyourevelledinthem,thingswereperpetuallyrushingtoaclose;andthe

factofthembeingthingsyouloved,orenjoyed,waspowerlesstodiminishthespeedatwhichtheyescapedyou.

Ofcourse,though,theseweresensationsratherthanthoughts;andtheydidnothinderLaurafromgoingonherkneestoEvelyn,toimplorehertoremain.DayafterdayEvelynkindlyandpatientlyexplainedwhythiscouldnotbe;andifshesometimesdrewasighatthechild'spersistence,itwastoofainttobeaudible.NowLauraknewthatitwaspossibletokillanimal-petsbysurfeitingthem;and,towardstheend,asuspiciondawnedonherthatyoumightperhapsdamagefeelingsinthesameway.Itstoodtoreason:nomatterhowfondtwopeoplewereofeachother,theonewhowasabouttoemerge,likeabutterflyfromitssheath,couldnotbeaskedtoregretherrelease;and,at

moments--whenLauralaysobbingfacedownwardsonherbed,orotherwiseventedherpertinaciousanddisrulygrief--atthesemomentsshethoughtshescentedadashofreliefinEvelyn,attheprospectofdeliverance.

Butsuchdelicatehintsonthepartofthehiddenselfarerarelyabletogainahearing;and,asthedaysdroppedoffonebyone,likeover-ripefruit,Laurasurrenderedherselfmoreandmoreblindlytoheremotions.Theconsequencewas,M.P.'spredictioncametrue:inthetest-examinationswhichtookplaceatmidwinter,Laura,togetherwiththefewduncesofherclass,wasignominiouslyplucked.Andstill



staggeringunderthisblow,shehadtokissEvelyngood-bye,andtosetherfaceforhome.

XXIV.

WASMICHNICHTUMBRINGT,MACHTMICHSTARKER.

NIETZSCHE

Motherdidnotknoworunderstandanythingabout"tests";andLaurahadnoideaofenlighteningher.Sheheldherpeace,andthroughouttheholidayshuggedherdisgracefulsecrettoher,untold.Shehadneverbeforefailedtopassanexamination,havingalwayslightlyskimmedthesurfaceofthemonthewingsofherparrot-likememory;hence,athomenoonesuspectedthatanythingwasamisswithher.Theknowledgeweighedthemoreheavilyonherownmind.And,asifherothertroubleswerenotenough,shewasnowbesetbynervousfearsaboutthefuture.Shesawchieflyrocksahead.Ifshedidnotsucceedingettingthroughthefinal

examinationinsummer,shewouldnotbeallowedtopresentherselfformatriculation,and,didthishappen,therewouldbetheverydeviltopay.Allherschoolingwould,inMother'seyes,havebeenfornaught.ForMotherwasoneofthosepeoplewholaidtremendousweightonprizesandexaminations,asofferingatangibleproofthatyourtimehadnotbeenwastedormisspent.Besidesthis,shecouldnotaffordintheeventofafailure,topaytheschool-feesforanotheryear.Themoneywhich,byhookandbycrook,hadbeenscrapedtogetherandhoardedupforLaura'seducationwasnowcomingtoanend;asitwas,thenextsixmonthswouldmeanaterriblepinchingandscrewing.Theotherchildren,too,weregrowingdaybydaymorecostly;theirlittlemindsandbodiesclamouredforalargershareofattention.AndLaura'seyeswererudelyopenedtothestruggleMotherhadhadtomakebothends

meet,whileherfirst-bornwasacquiringwisdom;forMotherspokeofitherself,spokeopenlyofhermeansandresources,perhapswithsomeideaofrousinginLauraagratitudethathadsofarbeendormant.

Ifthiswasherintentionshefailed.Laurawasmuchtoofastentangledinherowntroubles,tohaveleisureforsuchacostlyfeelingasgratitude;andMother'soutspokennessonlyaddedafreshweighttoherpack.Itseemedasifeverybodyandeverythingwererangedagainsther;andguilty,careworn,lonely,sheshrankintohershell.Aboutschoolaffairssheagainkeptherlipsshut,enduring,likeastubbornmartyr,theepithets"close"and"deceitful"thisreticenceearnedher.Hertimewasspentinwritingendless,scrawlyletterstoEvelyn,whichcovereddays;insittingmoodilyatthetopofthefirtreewhichsheclimbedin

defianceofherlengthofpetticoatglaringatsunsets,andbroodingondeaddelights;intakinglong,solitary,eveningwalks,bychoiceontheheelofathunderstorm,whentheredearthwasriddledbycreekletsofrunningwater;tillMother,hauntedbyalivelyfearofencounterswith"swags"orChinamen,putherfootdownandforbadethem.

Sufferersareseldomsweet-tempered;andLauraformednoexception.Pin,hermostfrequentcompanion,hadtobearthebruntofheracrimony:hencethetwoweresoonatwaragain.ForPinwastactless,andtooksmallheedofhersister'sgrumpymoods,savetocavilatthem.



Laura'sbuttoned-upness,forinstance,andherloveofsolitude,wereperverseleaningstoPin'smind;andshespokeoutagainstthemwiththeassuranceofonewhohaspublicopinionathisback.LauraretaliatedbyfallingfouloflittlepersonaltraitsinPin:anervoushabitshehadofclearingherthroat--herverywalk.Theyquarrelledpassionately,havingbranchedasfarapartastheend-pointsofwhatisultimatelytobeatriangle,betweenwhichtheconnectinglineshavenotyetbeendrawn.

Sometimestheyevencametoblows.

"I'llfetchyourmatoyou--thatIwill!"threatenedSarah,calledbythenoiseofthescuffle."Greatgirlslikeyou--fightin'likebandicoots!Yououghttobedownrightashamedo'yourselves."

"Idon'tknowwhat'scomeoveryoutwo,I'msure,"scoldedMother,whenthecombatantshadbeenpartedandbroughtbeforeherinthekitchen,whereshewasrollingpastry."Youneverusedtogoonlikethis.--Pin,stopthatnoise.Doyouwanttodeafenme?"

"Shehitmefirst,"sobbedPin."It'salwaysLaurawhobegins."

"I'llteachhertocheekmelikethat!"

"Well,allIcansayis,"saidMotherexasperated,andpushedalockofhairoffherperspiringforeheadwiththebackofherhand."AllIsayis,biggirlsasyouare,youdeservetohavethenonsensewhippedoutofyou.--Asforyou,Laura,ifthisisyouronlyreturnforallthemoneyI'vespentonyou,thenIwishfrommyheartyou'dneverseentheinsideofthatMelbourneschool."

"Howprettyyoureyeslook,mother,whenyoureyelashesgetfloury!"saidLaura,struckbythevividcontrastofblackandwhite.Shemerelystatedthefact,withoutintenttoflatter,herangerbeinggiventopuffingoutassuddenlyasitkindled.

"Oh,getalongwithyou!"saidMother,atthesametimeskilfully

liftingandturningalarge,thinsheetofpaste."Youcan'tgetroundMElikethat."

"Youusedtohavenice,ladylikemanners,"shesaidonanotheroccasion,whenLaura,summonedtothedrawingroomtoseeavisitor,hadinMother'seyesdisgracedthemboth."Now,you'venomoreideahowtobehavethanacountrybumpkin.Yousitthere,likeastockorastone,asifyoudidn'tknowhowtoopenyourmouth."--Motherwasverycross.

"Ididn'twanttoseethatoldfrumpanyhow,"retortedLaura,whoinclinedtochargetheinhabitantsofthetownshipwithanextremeprovinciality."Andwhatelsewastheretosay,butyesorno?SheaskedmeallthingsIdidn'tknowanythingabout.Youdon'twantmetotell

stories,Isuppose?"

"Well,ifachildofminedoesn'tknowthedifferencebetweenbeingpoliteandtellingstories,"saidMother,completelyoutraged,"then,allIcansayis,it'sa...agreatshame!"shewounduplamely,afterthefashionofhot-temperedpeoplewhobeginasentencewithoutbeingclearhowtheyaregoingtoendit.--"Youwereaniceenoughchildonce.IfonlyI'dneverletyouleavehome."

ThisjeremiadwasrepeatedbyMotherandchorusedbytheresttillLaura



grewincensed.Shewasrousedtodefendherpresentself,atthecostofherpastperfections;andthisgaverisetonewdissensions.

Sothatinspiteofwhatshehadtofaceatschool,shewasnotaltogethersorry,whenthetimecame,toturnherbackonherunknowingandhenceunsympatheticrelations.ShejourneyedtoMelbourneononeofthosepleasantwinterdayswhenthesunshinesfrommorningtillnightinacloudlesssky,andthechiefmarkoftheseasonistheextraordinarygreennessofthegrass;returnedapale,determined,lankygirl,fullofthegrimmestresolutions.

Thefirstfewdayswerelikeabaddream.TheabsenceofEvelyncamehometoherinallitscrushingforce.AgapyawneddrearilywhereEvelynhadbeen--butthen,shehadbeeneverywhere.Therewasnowakindofemptinessaboutthegreatschool--exceptformemories,whichcroppedupateachturn.Laurawasinastrangeroom,withstrange,indifferentgirls;andforatimeshefeltaslonelyasshehaddoneinthoseunthinkabledayswhenshewasstillthepoorlittlegreen"newchum".

Hercompanionswerenotwilfullyunkindtoher--herlastextravagancehadbeenfoolish,notcriminal--andtwoorthreewereevensorryforthewoebegonefigureshecut.ButheridolatrousattachmenttoEvelynhadbeenthemeansofagaindrawingroundheroneofthosemagic

circles,whichheldherschoolfellowsatadistance.Andthearomaofhereccentricitystillclungtoher.Themembersofherclassweredeepinstudy,too;littlewasnowthoughtorspokenofbuttheapproachingexaminations.Andherfirstgriefover,Laurasetherteethandflungherselfonherlessonslikeadogonabone,endeavouringtopacktheconscientiousworkoftwelvemonthsintolessthansix.

Thedayswerefeverishwithenergy.Butatnightthelonelinessreturned,andwasonlythemoreintensebecause,forsomehoursonend,shehadbeenabletoforgetit.

Ononesuchnightwhenshelaywakeful,hauntedbytheprospectoffailure,sheturnedovertheleavesofherBible--shehadbeen

memorisingherweeklyportion--andread,notasaschool-task,butforherself.BychanceshelightedontheFourteenthChapterofStJohn,andthefamiliar,honey-sweetwordsfellonherheartlikecaresses.Hertearsflowed;bothatthebeautyofthelanguageandoutofpityforherself;andbeforesheclosedtheBook,sheknewthatshehadfoundawellofcomfortthatwouldneverrundry.

Inspiteofacertainflabbinessinitsoutwardexpression,deepdowninLaurathesupremefaithofchildhoodstilldweltintact:shebelieved,withherwholeheart,intheexistenceofanall-knowingGod,andjustasimplicitlyinHisperfectpowertosuccourHishumanchildrenatwill.ButthusfaronherwayshehadnotgreatlyneededHim:atthemost,shehadhadrecoursetoHimforforgivenessofsin.Now,however,

thesuddenwithdrawalofawarm,humansympathyseemedtoopenupanewuseforHim.Anachingvoidwasinherandabouther;itwasforHimtofillthisvoidwiththerichesofHislove.--Andshecomfortedherselfforherpreviouslackofwarmth,bythereminderthatHisneedalsowaschieflyoftheheavy-ladenandoppressed.

Inthespurtofintensereligiousfervourthatnowsetinforher,itwastoChristsheturnedbypreference,ratherthantotheremoterGodtheFather.ForofthelattershecarriedakindofMichelangelesquepictureinherbrain:thatofanold,oldmanwitha



flowinggreybeard,whosat,Turk-fashion,onehandpluckingatthisbeard,theotherlyingnegligentlyacrossHisknees.Christ,onthecontrary,wasayoungman,kindlyofface,andfulloftenderinvitation.

Tothisyounger,tendererGod,sheprofferedlongandglowingprayers,whichviedwithoneanotherindevoutness.SoonshefeltherselfledbyHim,feltherselfafavouritelyingonHisbreast;and,asthedayswentby,herardoursoincreasedthatshecouldnotlongerconsumethesmokeofherownfire:itoverspreadherdailylife--totherenewedembarrassmentofherschoolfellows.Wasitthenimpossible,theyaskedthemselves,forLauraRambothamtodoanythinginadecorousandladylikeway.Mustsheateverystepputthemoutofcountenance?Itwasnotrespectabletobesofervent.Religion,feltthey,shouldbepractisedwithmodesty;bewornlikeanindispensablebutprivategarment.Whereasshecommittedthegrosserrorintasteof,asitwere,paradingitoutsideherotherclothes.

Laura,herthoughtsturnedheavenwards,didnotlooklowenoughtodetectthedistasteinhercomrades'eyes.ThefarthershespunherselfintoherintimacywiththeDeity,themoreindifferentdidshegrowtothepeopleandthingsofthisworld.

Weekspassed.Herfeelings,inthebeginningamereblissfulcertainty

thatGodwasLoveandshewasGod's,ceasedtobewhollypassive.Thus,herfirstsatisfactionathersupposedelectionwassoonoustedbyself-righteousness,didshecontemplateherunremittingdevotion.Andonenight,whenherowneloquenceatprayerhadbroughtthemoisturetohereyes--onenighttheinspirationfell.Throughouttheseweeks,shehadfaithfullyworshippedGodwithoutaskingsomuchasapin'sheadfromHiminreturn;shehadgivenfreely;allshehad,hadbeenHis.Nowthetimehadsurelycomewhenshemightclaimtoberewarded.NowitwasforHimtoshowthatHehadappreciatedherhomage.--Oh,itwassoeasyathingforHimtohelpher,ifHewould...ifHeonlywould!

Pressingherfingerstohereyeballstillthestarryblindnesswas

effectedthatinducesecstasy,sheprostratedherselfbeforethemercy-seat,notomitting,atthiscrisis,toconciliatetheAlmightybylayingstressonherownexceedingunworthiness.

"Oh,dearLordJesus,havemercyuponme,miserablesinner!Oh,Christ,IaskThyhumblepardon!ForIhavebeenweak,Lord,andhaveforgottentoserveThyHolyName.Mythoughtshaveerredandstrayedlike...likelostsheep.ButlovedThee,Jesus,allthetime,myheartseemedfullasitwouldhold...no,Ididn'tmeantosaythat.ButIwasnoteverthus,norprayedthatThoushouldstleadmeon.Butnow,dearJesus,ifThouwiltonlygrantmemydesire,IwillneverforgetTheeorbefalsetoTheeagain.IwillloveTheeandserveThee,allthedaysofmylife,tilldeathusdo...Imean,onlyletmepassmy

examinations,Lord,andthereisnothingIwillnotdoforTheeinreturn.Oh,dearLordJesus,SonofMary,hearmyprayer,andIwillworshipTheeandadoreThee,andneverforgetThee,andthatThouhastdiedtosaveme!Grantmethismyprayer,Lord,forChrist'ssake,Amen."

Itcametothis:LauramadeakindofpactwithGod,inwhichHisaidatthepresentjunctureguaranteedhercontinued,unswervingallegiance.

Theideaoncelodgedinhermind,shewrestledwithHimnightafter



night,fillingHisearswithherpetitions,andremainingonherkneesforsuchanimmoderatelengthoftimethatherroom-mates,whoweresleepy,openlyexpressedtheirimpatience.

"Oh,drawitmild,Laura!"saidthegirlintheneighbouringbed,whenitbegantoseemasifthesupplicantwouldneverrisetoherfeetagain."LeavesomethingtoaskHimto-morrow."

ButLaura,knowingverywellthattheLordourGodisajealousGod,wasmindfulnottoscrimpinlip-service,ortoshirktheminutestceremonybymeansofwhichHemightbepropitiatedandwonover.Herprayersofgreetingandfarewell,onenteringandleavingchurch,weredrawnoutbeyondanyoneelse's;shedidnotdozeordreamoverasingleclauseoftheLitany,withitshypnotisingrefrain;andshenotonlymadethesignoftheCrossattheappropriateplaceintheCreed,butalsoprivatelyateverymentionofChrist'sname.

Meanwhile,ofcourse,sheworkedatherlessonswithunflaggingzeal,foritwasbynomeansherintentiontothrowthewholeonusofhersuccessontheDivineshoulders.Sheoverworked;andononeoccasionhadadistressinglapseofmemory.

Andatlengthspringwasgoneandsummercome,andthemomentousweekarrivedonwhichherfuturedepended.Now,though,shewasnot

aloneinhertrepidation.Theeyesofeventhesurestmembersoftheformhadasteelyglintinthem,andmouthswerehard.Dr.Pughson'spapersweresaidtobefarmoreformidablethanthepublicexamination:ifyougothappilythroughthese,youweresafe.

Sixsubjectswerecompulsory;high-stepperstooknine.Laurawasoneofthosewitheight,andsincehertwoobligatorymathematicswerenottobereliedon,shecouldnotaffordtofailinasinglesubject.

Inthebeginning,things,withtheexceptionofnumbers,wentprettywellwithher.Thencamethefinalday,andwithittheexaminationinhistory.UptothepresentyearLaurahadcutadashinhistory;nowherbrainwasmuddled,hermemoryovertaxed,byherhavinghadtocramthe

wholeofGreen'sHISTORYOFTHEENGLISHPEOPLEinafewmonths,besidesalargedoseofGREECEandROME.Reportsranoftheexceptionally"catchy"natureofDrPughson'squestions;andLaura'sprayer,thenightbefore,wasmorelikeathreatthanasupplication.TheclasshadonlyjustenteredtheHeadmaster'sroomontheeventfulmorning,andbeguntochoosedesks,whentherecameasummonstoLauratotakeamusic-lesson.Thiswasoutsideconsideration,andDrPughsonmadeshortworkoftheintruder--ared-hairedlittlegirl,whoblushedmeeklyandunbecomingly,andwithdrew.Here,however,Lauraroseanddeclaredthat,underthesecircumstances,someexplanationwasduetoMonsieurBoehmer,themusic-master,to-day'slessonbeinginfactarehearsalfortheannualconcert.

DrPughsonraisedhisred-rimmedeyesfromhisdeskandlookedveryfierce.

"Tch,tch,tch!"hesnapped,inthegenialIrishfashionthatmadehimdreadedandadored."Howlikeawomanthatis!Playingatconcertswhenshecan'taddtwoandtwotogether!--Yourarithmeticpaper'sfitforPUNCH,MissRambotham."

Thesmilehelookedforwentround.



"Haveyouseenthequestions?--no?Well,givethemherethen.You'vegottogo,Isuppose,orwemightdeprivetheconcertofyourshininglight.--Hurryback,now.Stiryourstumps!"

ButthisLaurahadnointentionofdoing.Inhandlingtheprintedslip,herlaggingeyehadcaughtthelastandmostvitalquestion:"GiveafullaccountofOliverCromwell'sForeignPolicy."--Andshedidnotknowit!Shedraggedoutherinterviewwiththemusic-master,putquestionswideofthepoint,insistedonlingeringtillhehadarrangedanotherhourforthepostponedrehearsal;and,asshewalked,asshetalked,asshelistenedtoMonsieurBoehmer'sridiculousEnglish,shestroveinvaintorecalljotortittleofOliver'srelationstoforeignpowers.--Oh,forjustapeepattheparticularpageofGreen!For,ifonceshegothercue,shebelievedshecouldgoon.

Thedining-hallwasemptywhenshewentthroughitonherwaybacktotheclassroom:herhistorylookedlovinglyatherfromitsplaceontheshelf.Butshedidnotdaretogoovertoit,takeitout,andturnupthepassage:thatwastoorisky.Whatshediddo,however,whenshehadalmostreachedthedoor,wastodashback,pulloutasynopsis--[P.262]aslender,medium-sizedvolume--andhastilyandclumsilybuttonthisinsidethebodiceofherdress.Thesquare,board-likeappearanceitgaveherfigure,whereitprojectedbeyondthesidesofherapron,sheconcealedbyhunchinghershoulders.

Herlightningplanwas,toenteracloakroom,snatchahurriedpeepatOliver'sconfoundedpolicy,thenhidethebooksomewheretilltheexaminationwasover.Butonemergingfromthedining-hallsheallbutcollidedwiththesecretary,whohadcomenoiselesslyacrosstheverandah;andshewassoovercomebythethoughtofthedangershehadrun,andbyMissBlount'sextremesurpriseatDrPughson'sleniency,thatsheallowedherselftobedrivenbacktotheexamination-roomwithoutaword.

Thegirlswerehardatit;theyscarcelyglancedupwhensheopenedthedoor.Fromherfriends'looks,shecouldjudgeofthesuccesstheywerehaving.Cupid,forinstance,wassmirkingtoherselfinthepeculiar

fashionthatmeantsatisfaction;M.P.'scheekswerethecolourofmonthlyroses.AndsoonLaura,crouchinglowtocoverherdeformity,wasatworkliketherest.

HadonlyOliverCromwellneverbeenborn!--thusshereflected,whenshehadgottheeasierpartofthepaperbehindher.WhycoulditnothavebeenaquestionaboutBourkeandWills,ortheEurekaStockade,orthevoyagesofCaptainCook?...somethingaboutone'sowncountry,thatonehadheardhundredsoftimesandwasreallyinterestedin.Orabig,arrestingthingliketheRetreatoftheTenThousand,orHannibal'sMarchovertheAlps?WhocaredforoldOliver,andhisshornhead,andhiscontemptforbaubles!Whatdiditmatternowtoanyonewhathisattitudehadbeen,morethantwohundredyearsago,toallthose

far-away,dream-likecountries?...Desperatelyshepressedherhandtohereyes.SheknewtheverypageofGreenonwhichCromwell'sforeignrelationsweresetforth;knewwheretheparagraphbegan,nearthefootofthepage:whatshecouldnotgetholdofwastheopeningsentencethatwouldhavesethermechanicalmemorya-rolling.

Thetwohoursdrewsteadilytoaclose.Abouthalfanhourbeforehandtheweakestcandidatesbegantorise,tohandintheirpapersandleavetheroom;butitwasnottilltenminutestotwelvethatthe"crack"girlsstoppedwriting.Laurawastobeallowedanextratwentyminutes,



anditwasonthissherelied.Atlast,shewasalonewiththemaster.Butthoughhewasalreadydippingintotheexamination-papers,hewasnotsafe.Shehadunbuttonedtwobuttonsandwasatathird,whenhelookedupsounexpectedlythatshewasscaredoutofhersenses,andfastenedherdressagainwithallthehasteshecould.Threeorfourofthepreciousminuteswerelost.

Atthispoint,thedooropenedandMr.Stracheystrodeintotheroom.DrPughsonblinkedupfromthestacksofpapers,rose,andthetwospokeinlowtones.Then,withaglanceatLaura,theywenttogethertothedoor,whichDrPughsonheldtobehindhim,andstoodjustoverthethreshold.Astheywarmedtotheirtalk,themasterletthedoorslipintothelatch.

Lauracouldseethemfromwhereshesat,withoutbeingseen.Amomentlatertheymovedstealthilyaway,goingdowntheverandahinthedirectionoftheoffice.

Nowforit!Withpalsiedhandssheundidherbodice,clutchedatthebook,forcedherblurredeyestofindthepage,andranthemoverit.Abriefsurvey:fiveorsixheadstoremember:afewdates.Flappedtoagain;tuckedunderherapron;shovedintoherbosom.

Andnotasecondtoosoon.Therehecame,hurryingback.Andthree

buttonswerestillundone.ButLaura'sheadwasbentoverherdesk:thoughherheartwaspummellingherribs,herpennowranlikelightning;andbythetimetheordertostopwasgiven,shehadcoveredtherequisitenumberofsheets.Afterwardsshehadadroitlytoridherselfofthebook,thentotakepart--aratherpale-eyed,distractedpart--inthelivelytechnicaldiscussionsthatensued;wheneachcandidatewasaslong-windedonthethemeofhersuccess,ornon-success,asacard-playeronhishandattheendofaround.Directlyshecouldmakegoodherescape,shepleadedaheadache,climbedtoherbedroomandstretchedherselfflatonherbed.Shewasthrough--butatwhatacost!Shefeltquitesore.Herverybonesseemedtohurther.

Nottillshewasthoroughlyrested,andtillshehadassuredherselfthatallriskattachingtotheincidentwasover,didshecometoreflectonthepartGodhadplayedinthebusiness.Andthen,itmustbeadmitted,shefounditasorryone.Justatfirst,indeed,herlimpidfaithwasshockedintoareluctancetobelievethatHehadhelpedheratall:Hismannerofdoingitwouldhavebeensoinexpressiblymean.But,littlebylittle,shedugdeeper,andeventuallyshereachedthe[P.265]conclusionthatHehadgivenhertheoptionofthisway,throwingitopentoherandthenstandingbackandwatchingtoseewhatshewoulddo,withoutsomuchasraisinganeyelidtoinfluenceherdecision.Infact,themoresheponderedoverit,themoreinclinedshegrewtothinkthatithadbeenakindofsnareonthepartofGod,totrapherafreshintosin,andthustoprolongherdependenceonHimafterhercrying

needwaspast.But,ifthisweretrue,ifHehaddonethis,thenHemustLIKEpeopletoremainmiserablesinners,sothatHemighthavethemalwayscrawlingtoHisfeet.Andfromthisviewofthecaseheringenuousyoungmindshrankappalled.ShecouldnotgoonlovingandworshippingaGodwhowascapableofdoubledealing;whocouldbehaveinsucha"mean,Jewyfashion".NorwouldsheeverforgetHishavingforcedhertoendurethemomentsoftortureshehadcomethroughthatday.

Lyingonherbed,shegrappledwiththesethoughts.Afeelingofdeepresentmentwastheirabidingresult.WhateverHisaim,ithadbeenpast



expressionpitilessofHim,HimwhohadatHiscommandthousandsofpleasanterwaysinwhichtohelpher,thustodriveapoorunhappygirltoextremities:one,too,whosepetitionhadnotbeenpromptedbyselfishendsalone.WhatshehadimploredofHimtouchedMotherevenmorenearlythanherself:herpartprayertoHimhadbeentosaveMother--whosehappinessdependedonthingslikeexaminations--fromabitterdisappointment.ThatmuchatleastHehaddone--shewouldgiveHimHisdue--butattheexpenseofherentireself-respect.Oh,Hemusthaveacold,calculatingheart...couldoneonlyseerightdownintoit.ThetaleofHisclemencyandcompassion,whichtheBibletold,wasnottobeinterpretedliterally:whenonecametothinkofit,hadHeever--outsidetheBible--beenknowntostoopfromHisjudgment-seat,andlovinglyandkindlyintervene?Itwasherownabsurdmistake:shehadtakenthepromisesmadethroughHisSon,forgospeltruth;hadthoughtHereallymeantwhatHesaid,aboutrewardingthosewhowerefaithfultoHim.Hercompanions--thecompanionsonwhom,fromtheheightsofherpiety,shehadlookedpityinglydown--werewiserthanshe.TheydidnotabasethemselvesbeforeHim,andvowalifelongdevotion;butneitherdidtheymakeanybutthemostapproveddemandsonHim.TheysatisfiedtheirconsciencesbypayingHimlip-homage,byconfessingtheirsins,andbyaskingforavague,far-distantmercy,towhichtheyattachednogreatimportance.Hence,theynevercameintofiercepersonalconflictwithHim.Norwouldshe,everagain;fromthistimeforward,shewouldrivaltherestinlukewarmness.--But,before

shecouldputthisresolveintoforce,shehadtoletherfirstindignationsubside:onlythenwasitpossibleforhertorecovertheshatteringofherfaith,andsettledowntopractisereligionaftertheglibandshallowmodeofherfriends.Shedidnot,however,sayherprayersthatnight,orformanyarighttocome;andwhen,atchurch,Christ'snameoccurredintheService,sheheldherheaderect,andshuttheearsandeyesofhersoul.

XXV.

IHRLERNTETALLENICHTTANZEN,WIEMANTANZENMUSS--UBEREUCHHINWEGTANZEN!

NIETZSCHE

Theschoolyearhadebbed;theceremoniesthatattendeditsconclusionwereover.Afewdaysbeforehand,thefifth-formboarders,underthetutelageofacoupleofgovernesses,droveoffearlyinthemorningtothedistantuniversity.Ontheoutwardjourneythecandidateswerethoughtfulandsubdued;butastheyreturnedhome,inthelate

afternoon,theirspiritswerenottobekeptwithinseemlybounds.Theylaughed,sang,androllickedaboutinsidethewagonette,MissZielinskiweaklyprotestingunheard--weresorowdythatthedriverpushedhiscigar-stumptothecornerofhismouth,tobeabletosmileatease,andflickedhisoldhorseintoacanter.Forthepublicexaminationhadprovedasanticipated,child'splay,comparedwithwhattheclasshadbeenthroughatDrPughson'shands;anditsaccompanyingdetailswereofanagreeablenature:theweatherwasnottoohot;theexamination-hallwaslightandairy;throughtheflung-backwindowstreesandfloweringshrubslookedin;thestudentswerewatchedoverbyahandsomeTrinity



man,wholaidhisstrawhatonthedeskbeforehim.

Thencametheannualconcert,atwhichnoneoftheperformersbrokedown;SpeechDay,whenthebodyofabighallwascrowdedwithrelativesandfriends,andwhensomanywhite,blue-beribbonedfrocksweremassedtogetherontheplatform,thatthislookedlikeagreatbedofblueandwhiteflowers;and,finally,trunkswerebroughtoutfromboxroomsandstrewnthroughthefloors,andupper-formgirlsemptiedcupboardsanddrawersintothemforthelasttime.

Ontheeveningbeforethegeneraldispersion,Laura,Cupid,andM.P.walkedthewell-knownpathsofthegardenonceagain.Whilethetwoeldergirlsweremoreloquaciousthantheirwont,Laurawasquieter.Shehadneverwhollyrecoveredherhumoursincethedayofthehistory-examination;andshestillcouldnotlookback,withcomposure,onthejeopardyinwhichshehadplacedherselfonelittleturnofthewheelinthewrongdirection,andtheendofherschooldayswouldhavebeenshameanddisgrace.--AndjustasherdiscoveryofGod'sstratagemhaddampedherreligiousardour,soherantipathytothemeansshehadbeenobligedtoemployhadleftafeelingofenmityinher,towardstheschoolandeverythingconnectedwithit:shehadcountedthehourstillshecouldturnherbackonitaltogether.Nonetheless,nowthatthetimehadcometherewasakindofacheinherathavingtosaygood-bye;foritwasinhernaturetoletgounwillinglyofthings,placesand

peopleonceknown.Besides,gladasshefelttohavedonewithlearning,shewasunclearwhatwastocomenext.Theideaoflifeathomeattractedheraslittleasever--Motherhadevenbeguntohintaswellthatshewouldnowbeexpectedtoinstructheryoungbrothers.Hence,herpartingwaseffectedwithverymixedfeelings;shedidnotknowintheleastwhereshereallybelonged,orunderwhatconditionsshewouldbehappy;shewasconsciousonlyofamildsorrowathavingtotakeleaveoftheshelterofyears.

Hertwocompanionshadnosuchdoubtsandregrets;forthemthepastwasalreadydeadandgone;theirtalkwasallofthefuture,sosoontobecomethepresent.Theyforecastthis,mappingitoutforthemselveswiththeironbeliefintheirpowertodoso,whichisthehall-markof

youth.

Laura,walkingattheirside,listenedtotheirwordswiththedeepestinterest,andwiththereverenceshehadlearnedtoextendtoallopinionssaveherown.

M.P.proposedtoreturntoMelbourneattheendofthevacation;forshewasgoingontoTrinity,wheresheintendedtotakeonedegreeafteranother.Shehesitatedonlywhetheritwastobeinmedicineorarts.

"Oogh!...tocutoffpeople'slegs!"ejaculatedLaura."M.P.,howawful."

"Oh,onesoongetsusedtothat,child.--ButIthink,onthewhole,Ishouldprefertotakeupteaching.ThenIshallprobablybeabletohaveaschoolofmyownsomeday."

"Ishouldn'twonderifyougotSandy'splacehere,"saidLaura,whowasassuredthatM.P.'smassyintellectwouldopenalldoors.

"Whoknows?"answeredMary,andsetherlipsinadeterminedfashionofherown."Strangerthingshavehappened."



Cupid,lessenamouredofcontinualdiscipline,intendedtobeawriter."MycousinsaysI'vegotthestuffinme.Andhe'sajournalistandoughttoknow."

"Ishouldratherthinkheought."

"Well,Imeantohaveashotatit."

"Andyou,Laura?"M.P.askedsuavely.

"Me?--Oh,goodnessknows!"

"Closeasusual,Infant."

"No,reallynot,Cupid."

"Well,you'llsoonhavetomakeupyourmindtosomethingnow.You'renearlysixteen.--WhynotgoonworkingforyourB.A.?"

"Nothanks!I'vehadenoughofthathere."AndLaura'sthoughtswavedtheirhands,asitwere,totherecedingfigureofOliverCromwell.

"Beateacher,then."

"M.P.!Ineverwanttohearadateoraddupacolumnoffiguresagain."

"Laura!"

"It'sthesolemntruth.I'mfedupwithallthoseblessedthings."

"Fancynothavingasinglewish!"

"Wish?...oh,I'vetonsofwishes.FirstIwanttobewithEvvyagain.Andthen,Iwanttoseethings--yes,thatmostofall.Hundredsandthousandsofthings.People,andplaces,andwhattheyeat,andhowtheydress,andChina,andJapan...justtons."

"You'llhavetohookamillionaireforthat,mydear."

"Andperhapsyou'llwriteabookaboutyourtravelsforusstay-at-homes."

"Gracious!Ishouldn'tknowhowtobegin.Butyou'llsendmeallyouwrite--allYOURbooks--won'tyou,Cupid?And,M.P.,you'llletmecomeandseeyougetyourdegrees--everysingleone."

Withtheseandsimilarpromisesthethreegirlsparted.Theynevermetagain.Foratimetheyexchangedlettersregularly,many-sheetedletters,fulloffamiliar,personaldetail.Thenthedetailceased,thepagesgrewfewerinnumber,thetime-gaplonger.Lettersin

turngaveplacetomerenotesandpostcards,scribbledinviolenthaste,atwideintervals.Andultimatelyeventheseceased;andthegreatsilenceofseparationwasunbroken.Norwerethepromisesredeemed:therecametoLauraneithergiftsofbooksnorcallstobepresentatacademicrobings.Withinsixmonthsofleavingschool,M.P.marriedandsettleddowninhernativetownship;andthereaftershewasforcedtoadjusttherateofherprogresstothestepsofhaltinglittlefeet.Cupidwenta-governessing,andspentthebestyearsofherlifeintheobscurityofthebush.



AndLaura?...InLaura'scase,nokindlyAtropossnippedthethreadofheraspirations:these,large,vague,extemporary,oneandallachievedfulfilment;thenwitheredofftomakeroomformore.Butthis,thefuturestillsecurelyhidfromher.Shewentoutfromschoolwiththeuncomfortablesenseofbeingasquarepeg,whichfittedintononeoftheroundholesofherworld;thewisdomshehadgot,theexperienceshewasricherby,had,intheprocessofequippingherforlife,merelyseemedtodiscloseherunfitness.Shecouldnotthenknowthat,evenforthesquarestpeg,therightholemayultimatelybefound;seemingunfitnessprovetobeonlyanotheraspectofapeculiarandspecialfitness.But,oftheafteryears,andwhattheybroughther,itisnotthepurportofthislittlebooktotell.Itisenoughtosay:manyadaycameandwentbeforeshegraspedthat,oftentimes,justthosemortalswhofeelcrampedandunsureintheconductofeverydaylife,willfindthemselvestorights,withastoundingease,inthatfreer,morespaciousworldwherenopracticalconsiderationshamper,andwherethecreaturesthatinhabitdancetotheirtune:theworldwherearestoredupmen'sbestthoughts,thehopes,andfancies;wheretheshadowisthesubstance,andthemultitudeofbusinesspalesbeforethedream.

Inthemeantime,however,theexodusofthefifty-fiveturnedtheCollegeupside-down.

EarlythefollowingmorningLauramadeherfinalpreparationsfordeparture.This,alas!wasnottobeonsoimposingascaleasthedeparturesofherschoolfellows.They,underspecialescort,wouldhaveacabapiece,andwoulddriveoffwithflyinghandkerchiefsandalltheirluggagepiledhighinfront.WhereasLaura'sboxhadgonebyvan:forsheandPin,whowasinMelbourneonavisit,weretospendacoupleofdaysatGodmother'sbeforestartingup-country.Evenherfarewells,whichshehadoftenrehearsedtoherselfwithdramaticemphasis,wentoffwithouteclat.ExceptforMissChapman,thegovernesseswereabsentwhenthemomentcame,andMissChapman'smindwassofullofotherthingsthatshewentongivingorderswhileshewasshakinghands.

ButLaurawasnotdestinedtoleavethewalls,withintheshadowof

whichshehadlearnedsomuch,astamelyasallthis.Therewasstillasurpriseinwaitingforher.AsshewhiskedaboutthecorridorsinsearchofMrs.Gurley,shemettwogirls,oneofwhomsaid:"Isay,LauraRambotham,you'refetched.Yourprettysister'scomeforyou."

"My...who?"gapedLaura.

"Yoursister.Bygum,there'sanoseforyou--andthosewhoppingeyes!You'llhavetoplaysecondfiddletoTHAT,allyourdays,mydear."

Onenteringthereception-roomLauratriedhardtoseePinwiththeeyesofastranger.Pinrosefromherchair--awkwardly,ofcourse,forthere

wereotherpeoplepresent,andLaura'sviolentstarewasdisconcertingintheextreme:itmadePinbelieveherhatwascrooked,orthatshehadablackspeckonhernose.AsforLaura,shecouldseenogreatchangeinhersister;thefreckleswerecertainlypaler,andthefeatureswereperhapsbeginningtoemergealittle,fromthecushionyfatinwhichtheywerebedded;butthatwasall.Still,ifoutsiders,girlsinparticular,werestruckbyit...

Akeenerstabthanthis--really,shedidnotgrudgePinbeingpretty:itwasonlythenewnessofthethingthathurt--akeenerstabwasit



that,thoughshehadorderedPinrepeatedly,andwithallthestressshewasmasterof,tocomeinawagonettetofetchher,sothatshemightatleastdriveawayliketheothergirls;inspiteofthis,thelittlenincompoophadafterallarrivedonfoot.Godmotherhadsaidtheideaofdrivingwasstuffandnonsense--aquiteunnecessaryexpense.Pin,ofcourse,hadmeeklygivenin;andthusLaura'slastbraveattempttobecomfortablylikehercompanionscametonaught.Shewentoutoftheschoolinthesameoddandundignifiedfashioninwhichshehadlivedthere.

ThewranglecausedbyPin'schicken-heartednesslastedthesistersdownthegarden-path,acrosstheroad,andoverintotheprecinctsofalarge,publicpark.Onlywhentheyweresomedistancethroughthis,didLaurawaketowhatwashappeningtoher.Then,itcameoverherwitharush:shewasfree,absolutelyfree;shemightdoanymortalthingshechose.

Asabeginningshestoppedshort.

"Holdon,Pin...takethis,"shesaid,givinghersistertheheavyleatherbagtheywerecarryinginturnstothetramway.Pinobedientlyheldoutherhand,initslittlewhitecottonglove.

"Andmyhat."

"Whatareyougoingtodo,Laura?"

"You'llsee."

"You'llgetsunstroke!"

"Fiddles!--it'squiteshady.Here'remygloves.--Now,Pin,youfollowyournoseandyou'llfindme--WHEREyoufindme!"

"Oh,whatAREyougoingtodo,Laura?"criedPin,inanxiety.

"I'mgoingtohaveagoodrun,"saidLaura;andtightenedher

hair-ribbon.

"Oh,butyoucan'truninthestreet!You'retoobig.People'llseeyou."

"ThinkIcare?--Ifyou'dbeenyearsonlydoingwhatyouwereallowedto,Iguessyou'dwanttodosomethingyouweren'tallowedto,too.--Good-bye!"

Shewasoff,haddartedawayintotheleadenheatoftheDecembermorning,likeanarrowfromitsbow,herheadbent,herarmsclosetohersides,fleet-footedasaspaniel:Pinwasfacedbytheswiftandrhythmicupturningofherheels.Therewerenotmanypeople

abroadatthisearlyhour,butthefewtherewere,stoodstillandlookedinamazementafterthehalf-growngirlinwhite,whosethickblackplaitofhairsawedupanddownassheran;andamanwithmopandbucket,whowaswashingstatues,stoppedhisworkandwhistled,andwinkedatPinasshepassed.

CrossandconfusedPintrudgedafterhersister,Laura'shatandglovesinonehand,theleatherbagintheother.

RightdownthecentralavenueranLaura,growingsmallerandsmallerin



thedistance,theareaofhermovementsdecreasingassheran,tillsheappearedtobealmostmotionless,andnotmuchlargerthanafigureinthebackgroundofapicture.Thencameasuddenbendinthelong,straightpath.Sheshotroundit,andwaslosttosight.

the getting of wisdom [henry handel richardson].txt

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