“To Life!” – As a winner of the most important lottery, you have much to celebrate!  “Life” is one of the top ten nouns used in the English language and rightfully so.  It is the most precious thing we hold – of ourselves and of family and friends.  It is a rare gift that is given and is not a right that can be demanded or even earned.  When managed correctly, a well-lived life has many great rewards.  But it’s not always wonderful for all of us so let’s first delve into that… THE BAD NEWS: LIFE CAN BE MESSY Life doesn’t always deal a good hand.  There are a lot of ways to run from life and, of course, the ultimate non-reversable way out is suicide.  Phil Donahue summed it up as best as I’ve ever heard when he said, “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”  Many suicides are committed to hurt those left behind.  Having a sister who took her life at 25, I can attest it does just that… But that doesn’t come close to the loss of “missed opportunity” to the hurting person who took this final extreme measure.  Regarding suicide, Anderson Cooper said, “Try as you might to remember how a person lived their life, you always end up thinking about how they ended it.”  So true, and not a legacy any of us would ever wish for.  So, for the person who is hurting beyond belief and cannot envision a way out, please understand; there’s help, there are people that care, you are not alone and, above all, there is hope – but you must initiate and reach out.

THE FOUR PILLARS OF A BETTER-LIVED LIFEBy Gregory Kelley, Founder/CEO P413 Corp.

You were expecting Love, Health, Finances and Happiness, weren’t you?

THE FOUR PILLARS OF A BETTER-LIVED LIFE

THE GOOD NEWS: LIFE’S GREATEST GIFT IS “HOPE”Almost 300 years ago, when Alexander Pope wrote the words “Hope springs eternal” in “An Essay on Man”, he surely didn’t realize he would be remembered by writing this three-word phrase.  But hope was sewn into our DNA by our Creator and comes in as a close second to the gift of life itself.  “Without hope we perish” is a paraphrase of a famous biblical quote that we know to be an everlasting truth.  Hope is a game changer and it is something we all have inside of us to one degree or the other.Regardless of our age or circumstances, if we are breathing and we have hope, then why not just get the best out of it?  Why not?? I’m not advocating something to strive for, but actually having a “better-lived life”.  It doesn’t matter what station of life you are in, if you invite these four pillars into your life, and live them on a daily basis, without uncertainty, you will be a successful person.

CONCOMITANT - con·com·i·tant  /kənˈkämədənt/  Other words used are “connected” and “linked”.

Put in other words, “Your relationships; love / friends”. The human race is a gregarious species created to relate and interact with one another. This is the reason why the natural order of the human society is to start out life armed with the basic social capital called family. You were not wired to walk alone. There is absolutely nothing of significance in human civilization today that was built alone. From birth to death, relationships will always be pivotal. The importance of relationship cannot be overemphasized!

PILLAR I

THE FOUR PILLARS OF A BETTER-LIVED LIFE

Who you hang with is everything!  Ever heard of this wise saying of Solomon- “If you indeed walk with the wise, you will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed”? Relationships are channels of influence; they create an avenue and conduit for social interaction and societal building. For example, most children will end up treading the path that have been set for them by their parents. Parental influence, peers, role models, followership are all important interactions forming a person’s belief system.   ACTION STEP #1: Love yourself first.  As selfish as that may sound, it is the bedrock of success in all relationships. There is absolutely no way you can love another person if you don’t love yourself first. An empty vessel can never be poured out! You can only give love when you have love; you can only befriend others after you have befriended yourself. Self-confidence and self-affirmation is one of the greatest cures for low self-esteem. We’ve all made mistakes – some worse than others, but self-love and acceptance means that you have given yourself permission to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously. Love yourself! You are the person you spend the most time with. Follow Shakespeare’s advice and “to thine own self be true”. Follow your inner compass and celebrate your victories, even your small successes.   ASSIGNMENT #1: Make a contract with yourself.  On paper – the size of a business card (2” x 3.5”) –write a contract with yourself of "Why, What and How". Here's a starter form: Now, read this card daily as part of your morning “get ready” routine.

THE FOUR PILLARS OF A BETTER-LIVED LIFE

PILLAR II

  ACTION STEP #2: Seek out a mentor.  Try to find a person that is 10 years older than you are who will drink a cup of coffee or have lunch with you once a week.  By nature, this person wants to see a better you.  That person may be hard to find and you may have to aggressively seek out this person but he or she is there.   ASSIGNMENT #2: Start your hunting expedition.  You’ve noticed people that seem to have it all together (I use the word “seem” because nobody on this earth actually has it all together!).  This person doesn’t need to be an Aristotle, they just need to be one step ahead of you in the journey of life and willing to share what they know.  Walk up to them and say this: “I’m working on making myself better and I know you have something to share about that.  Will you meet with me for a lunch or cup of coffee?”  Just say it.  Most of time they will be flattered and say “yes”.  If they say “no” they weren’t the right person for you anyway. 

VISCERA - vis·cer·a  /ˈvisərə/  The inner parts of your body that make you tick.

Put in other words, “Your physical health”. You’ve heard, “Your health is your greatest wealth” and “Dead men do not have dreams” Well, start taking this to heart (pun intended).   As great as your dreams and your strategies to achieve them are, it is probably only a mirage if you are not in good shape. Your body is your greatest asset and disease (born from neglect) has no respect for persons.

THE FOUR PILLARS OF A BETTER-LIVED LIFE

Exercise: Nobody but you can or will take care of your body. It took 9 months of meticulous biological process to produce your body and it takes at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity to maintain good physique and healthy body. If you’re not doing anything now, start with only 5 minutes a day.  Once this becomes a habit, you will enjoy it and increase.  The benefits of regular exercise are numerous. They include weight management, lower risk of certain diseases, better sleep pattern, a healthier state of mind, increase in blood circulation and so much more. Diet: A right diet works like magic. Watch the portion size. Fruits and vegetables are rich in nutrients and can cause drastic transformation to your skin. And drink at least 64 ounces of water every day.  If you have trouble with this, try buying a 30-day food shipment program (Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig, Diettogo, Balance, etc.).  This will help you train to a habit of portion control. Sleep & Play: All work and no play, they say, makes Jack a dull boy. Incorporate recreation times, and if you have a lover, make sure there is a “date night” as part of your schedule! Irrespective of how busy you are, at least 7 hours of sleep is non-negotiable, and 8 hours is preferable. As a doctor once told me, getting enough sleep is a “pay me now or pay me later” situation. Never underestimate the power of adequate sleep, exercise and recreation.   ACTION STEP #3: You know what to do, make a new commitment to do it.   ASSIGNMENT #3:  Add what you need to do in your Personal Contract.

THE FOUR PILLARS OF A BETTER-LIVED LIFE

PECUNIARY - pe·cu·ni·ar·y /pəˈkyo͞onēˌerē/    Relating to or consisting of money.

Put in other words, “Your money matters”. Two money facts that I’ve always felt to be true: 1. All those people that say money does not buy happiness have never been poor. 2. God doesn’t care if we are rich, but He also doesn’t want the wolves barking at our door. Let me qualify number one.  Most of the speeches and talks I’ve heard using the “money has nothing to do with happiness” line are from people who have never experienced the lack of it.  I do agree that an abundance of money does not buy happiness.  My father was the youngest of nine children.  All but one of his siblings were financially well-off and I got a firsthand look that having a good amount of money didn’t mean the lack of personal and relational failure. What is “financial wellbeing”?A person is said to be in a state of financial wellness when he or she is able to meet their needs adequately, establish reserves for current uncalculated expenses and continually fund a retirement plan to the living standard they have now.  There is also a correlation between money and health in the respect of adequately taking care of you and your family’s expected and unexpected medical needs. Having financial wellbeing is having a budget and living within it.  I have a 10-minute morning routine that is both a cash-flow of expected expenses and an expense report.  The cash-flow is a roadmap of planned expenses and your cash position after expenditures, savings, investments.  The expense report is a record of credit card and cash expenditures from the previous day.  I use a very simple general ledger numbering system that records our business expenses as well as personal expenses.  It is invaluable for finding that charge you made three months ago, comparing prices, and especially at tax time.  I print out an expense report that shows

THE FOUR PILLARS OF A BETTER-LIVED LIFE

PILLAR III

 ACTION STEP #4: Live on 80% of your spendable income.  Give 10% to your church or charities and save / invest 10%. ASSIGNMENT #4: If you know this will be hard for you to master, seek out a financial mentor.  There are many avenues, just Google “financial mentor” or “financial freedom”.  Personally, I can recommend the Dave Ramsey organization.  https://www.daveramsey.com/ ACTION STEP #5: If you are operating without a budget, start one immediately.  If married, spend as much time as needed with your spouse to create a budget you both agree on.  ASSIGNMENT #5:  Review your budget daily and discuss it with your wife and even your children when they are old enough.  Your spouse will understand how to be a team player and why it is important.  Your children, when old enough, will learn about the importance of financial responsibilities and be better equipped for later life.

the previous days expenses as well as the month-to-date totals compared against our budget.  Daily, I leave it on the kitchen counter for my wife to examine.

THE FOUR PILLARS OF A BETTER-LIVED LIFE

PILLAR IV

On a strip of paper, taped to one of my monitors, is the inscription; “Time stands still for no one”.  This is a reminder to me that I have no ultimate control of how long I will live and it is important to make every minute, hour and day count as if it were the last.  Easy to say – hard to do.  We get so wound up in the minutiae of our everyday life we forget what is really important.  I don’t have to remind you of what is important – you already know. A few years ago I was given a wonderful gift from my only brother.  I am the younger brother by five years but we did a lot of things together (which included getting into a lot of trouble).  The gift was him calling me and we talked for an hour.  Five hours later he died of a heart attack.  He had a big ranch with cattle spread over many square miles and was excited to greet every day and do what he loved.  He was a hard worker and in great shape and dying suddenly was not on his to-do list. The best we can do is try to be in the best shape physically, emotionally, relationally and monetarily and then enjoy the ride.  I enjoy visiting with older people (over 90) and listening to their stories.  Most have a “zinger” of an interesting story that they love to re-live and they get a little animated in the telling of it.  When they finish, I like to ask this question; “How long ago does that seem to you?”  Almost always, they pause for a few seconds and say, “It seems like yesterday!”  Life goes by quickly no matter how long

MOMENT - mo·ment /ˈmōmənt/  A very brief period of time.

Put in other words, “Time is not negotiable”.

THE FOUR PILLARS OF A BETTER-LIVED LIFE

we live.  There’s a verse in the Bible that goes like this, “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.’ Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow.  You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.”  That is not encouraging, but it is true. The good news is that the odds of living longer in America are in our favor.  Our life expectancy keeps extending.  We live almost twice as long as our ancestors did 100 years ago (check this out) and, as you can see in the chart below, life expectancy of 120 years old is not unimaginable in the near future.

THE FOUR PILLARS OF A BETTER-LIVED LIFE

Life expectancy around the world: https://ourworldindata.org/life-expectancy

  ACTION STEP #5: Make every day count as if it were your last.   ASSIGNMENT #5:  Accidents happen.  Take care of the loose ends now…Write that letter, organize your matters, write those instructions of the things only you know how to do --- and then enjoy every day! I will close with this famous story:

After retirement as the British Prime Minister, Winston Churchill had been invited by the University of Oxford, to give the commencement speech to the class of 1948.  As all historians point out, Churchill was always accompanied by three things; a top hat, a cane and a cigar. When the moment came for his speech, Mr. Churchill approaches his audience laying his top hat and cane on the podium, removes the cigar from his mouth and with both hands strongly grips the podium and peers at the graduating class.  After a long pause he says, “Young men, all I have to say to you is summed up in these three words; Never give up!”  He stood there staring at the student body and there was not a sound.  After a long pause he said again in a louder voice, “Never give up!”  One more long pause and with an even bolder voice he states his final, “Never give up!!”.  He peers out at his young audience one final time then picks up his hat and cane and walks out.

That is so good, I wish it were a true story.  If you want it to be, you can Google it and find many accounts that it is – but it isn’t.  The fact is though, Winston Churchill was the driving force that saved England from defeat in World War II.  It was a time where many had given up hope and he drew much criticism with his strength and boldness that pulled them through.  His secret?  Against the odds, he never gave up. I will end with my wish for you - a quote by Erma Bombeck; “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.’”

THE FOUR PILLARS OF A BETTER-LIVED LIFE

Note: “He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass”. ~ James Allen.Repeated daily affirmations are important and a great way to do that is by using 400 Hugs.

Make “mini-habits” and put the quotes that resonate with you in your pocket and make them part of your life.  Find them at www.400Hugs.com today.

THE FOUR PILLARS OF A BETTER-LIVED LIFE

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